The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Buster Olney Looks Like… (feat. Tim Kurkjian)

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

The “Looks Like” game with Tim Kurkjian has returned. Need we say more? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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forests through the Miele Forest Initiative. Join us in making an impact today for a better tomorrow. Visit Miele.ca to learn more. Welcome to the Big Sui presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now here's the marching man to nowhere, Fat Face and the habitual liar. I am very excited right now. Wow. And the audience is about I am very excited right now. Wow. And the audience is about to be very excited as well. Before we unveil this exciting thing,

I would say one of the most exciting things that ever happens around here. I will tell you a story I have not told before, which is in negotiations with ESPN, when we were wrestling them over who gets to own what sounds espn one only one time we got the entire rest of our library but there was only one sound they

wouldn't let us have you want all the sounds we we we want to sound and we we want all the sounds in negotiations but but the sound that ESPN wanted to keep that we could not have, we have just had to pay a lot of money to play for you now because they have the rights to the sound. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! It's been a nightmare trying to get music sounds to pay for rights to things. That's valuable, man. Right? I mean, they kept it.

They're building their entire network around it. That's why they wouldn't give it to us. Tim Kirchian on loan right now only because Mike McQuade's in charge now. God bless him. I would say Tim Kirchian is probably at the top gold medalist in terms of guests that our fans love the most. I would say it's Kirchian, Stan Van Gundy, and Ron McGill. I mean, this is an exciting day, Dan. We're talking baseball with Timmy Kirchens. So we'll put him immediately in an awkward spot by asking him, does Buster Olney look like the... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I Haven't even started yet. I know but Buster grew up on a farm and he was telling me about milking cows the other day

I think about that. I have to laugh Because you're imagining him doing it in his suit No, because we got in a discussion about milking a cow and I Told him I'd milked one cow in my entire life It was a disaster at Ferguson farm when my daughter was in the fifth grade and I said He meaning the cow was not interested in giving up a lot of milk he to which buster started Me guy grew up on a dairy farm, I didn't even know that it was only the females that give milk. Did you guys know that?

I didn't. Of course we did. Male cows are fools. Duh. You were the cow at a moment. I didn't know that. Put it on the poll at Leviton Show, did you know that it was only the female cows

who give milk? I'd like to hear more here, but Buster Olney looks like the... He's thinking about the cat, Levy. I was just thinking about Jeff Van Gundy too. God, he's so funny. Weenah Hartz. Jeff Van Gundy. What was the first one I ever heard? Jeff Van

Gundy looks like the Queen of Hearts. Queen of Hearts. Wait, the medical examiner who does an autopsy while eating a ham sandwich. He remembers. Well, he remembers a lot of them. People walk up to him. Wasn't he in the cold commercial too? We had one of that they keep gets them all the time just walking around people repeat that didn't somebody repeated to you at the white house

yes yes a secret service agent i walked by him at the white house this was years ago he didn't say hello he just acknowledge my presence and said andy re Reid looks like, and kind of had an ellipse after that, and then I walked away and he said, don't mind if I do. That was the secret service agent. Fellas, I'm not making this up.

Every day of my life, every day, somebody comes up to me and says something about the stupid Levitard show looks like. Yesterday, a guy like tackled me at the grocery store and just said, Adam Silver looks like the lone french fry in a bag of onion rings. And then he just like kept on walking. That's how you do it. This is what your show has done to my life.

Buster only looks like the dad who doesn't want to confront another parent in the carpool line, so he flips them off under the steering wheel. Well, that's inaccurate, cause I know Buster very well, and he might be the first guy to get out of the car and say you jumped in line in front of me move out well i wouldn't do it under the steering wheel he would go right into the guy's

face but there's a buster on every level but i mean you would do it under the steering wheel right you would yeah i'm not sure the last time i ever did that, but yes, I've told you guys I get a little bit more Impatient in a car than I should and it worried me that I read some story once That your personality in your car is your true personality So that worries me a little bit because I can get a little impatient in while driving a car. Can you guys before the end of this segment have a series of have you ever questions for Tim Kirchhen because I imagine there are a lot of things that Tim Kirchhen has never done and have you ever actually shot the middle finger at somebody?

I don't know. I have not. Now I have done it by myself, probably to myself, but i don't know i have not now i have done it by myself probably to myself but i don't think i've ever done that to another human being he would answer that question i believe it's really i also love that he's so naughty that he would only do it to himself in a private area so no one else can see him doing it i believe that he's not determined that finger he's that fundamentally decent uh... adam Silver looks like a torpedo bat. Yes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Jim Rome looks like the guy who regularly takes practice golf swings in his office.

Totally. Tim, what you're doing right now, we'll talk about baseball in a second, but there are a handful of projects that my friends are doing that are genuinely moving to me. And I love seeing you at this point in your career doing a podcast with your son that has so much love in it and baseball, but all the things that I love about the relationships that fathers and sons can form around baseball. It is so very cool to hear the interactions

between you and your son with him bringing out a side of you that people probably haven't seen before, even though they think they know plenty about you because you trust your son to be your producer and host. And it's just lovely. It's a lovely podcast that you do. Well, thank you. He's the producer. He's the director.

He's the co-host. He's the technical advisor. He is the marketing guy. He does everything for the show. All I do is show up now three days a week and provide some content. He does everything else. And I told you guys, I drive from Maryland three hours to his house in Philadelphia to do the podcast, A, because it's better face to face, but B, if something goes wrong with

the technology, he will be there to fix it to repair it. Whereas I being the worst of all time at this, if anything goes wrong with my computer, I am completely lost. I am the worst of all time at so many things, but nobody is worse in technology than me. Tim, three hours, three times a week, you're driving for that? I mean, with all due respect to me, he should be driving to you, I mean.

No, no, no, no, it's not all three, we just went to three days a week. So once a week, I'm driving three hours to my son's house to make sure that the show goes properly. We have learned how to do it remotely. He set up everything in my house, so I know how to do it, but set up everything in my house so i know how to do it but now he should not be coming to me as a one-year-old daughter my granddaughter so there's no way we're going to make him work when i'm the one

that in easily get the car and drive so we will get to baseball stuff in a second with tim but for those of you who do not know right is an extraordinary family man uh... i have I have seen him be better with his mother than I've seen almost any adult ever be with a parent late in life. And he recently lost his brother. And the reason the podcast that he's doing now is so moving to me is because I can't, I mean, I know how much his brother loved baseball, but I just can't believe the amount of joy that Tim must be getting from the simple act of being able to do this with his son. It's just it's just

extraordinary to hear love on a podcast that way. It's what Tim the reason I love it so much is the most meaningful thing I've done professionally is be able to get old next to my father on television because it gave me an entirely different relationship with my father than I had before that. Right. Well, I always have had a great relationship with my son, Jeff, but it's gotten way better, if that's possible, through the podcast. Now we talk about 25 times a day.

Who are you going to have on as the next guest? What are the questions for this week? What's the question quandary? we go over this every single day or taping today at eleven a.m. and i can't wait it has been the highlight of my entire career and i don't care how corny that sounds this is something we've always wanted to do we laugh when we learn in the good thing is just not a big baseball fan so it's a good baseball baby i know a lot because he grew up watching Whose Line Is It Anyway instead of watching every baseball game every night like his dopey pop-pop.

So he knows so much about pop culture and music and everything else, and I don't know anything except for baseball and basketball and sitcoms from the 60s, so we're a good combination. I will tell our audience who supports all the things we love and supports the people on basketball sitcoms from the sixties so with work and work and combination i will tell our audience who supports all the things we love and supports the people who have supported us that uh... the name of the podcast is this a great game or what he does it with his son jeff and i encourage all of you to listen to a because it really it really is intimate and in sweet tony the podres the best in in this ball

uh... they are today and now that's going to change because everything changes in baseball but fellows they got six shutouts already they're starting pitching is really good their offense even as a really got no on any much auto jackson merrill is hurt louisa rise hasn't gotten going yet and they still find a way to score runs. They're really good, but I'm telling you fellas, the season began and I saw the six, maybe seven best teams in baseball

were all in the National League, and the Padres were one of them. So they are a very dangerous team, and they're not afraid of the Dodgers. The Dodgers are gonna be the best team in baseball before this is over, but right now, I just did our power rankings this morning and I picked the Padres first in baseball.

Tim, what's something the first few weeks of the season that you think you're second guessing? I thought this going into the year, but now I've seen something and I'm thinking differently about it. Well, I had the Braves definitely going to the playoffs and i'm not giving up on the braves yet but they have really labor now they got special strider coming back today which is a real helpful thing as he throws

a hundred with nasty nasty secondary stuff but i thought the braves would be obviously better than this but once they get a coon you do your back or not positive when. That's been the big surprise for me is how they have struggled and how good the National League West has been. I knew the Giants were better. I knew the Diamondbacks were good. Padres are good.

Dodgers good. But right now, that is a historically good division three weeks into the season. Are the Braves struggling the biggest surprise of the season? I'm sorry? Is the Braves struggling so far early in the season the biggest surprise? Yeah, I think team wise, but Roy, the best part about this season

is just how crazy and how unpredictable it has been, which has been every year. I mean, you know, Rafael De debors went over his first twenty one but first nineteen about he struck out fifteen times in nineteen at bats he's a really good hitter at least at at least two dozen times i've slapped my forehead this year insane saying how in the world could this have happened i mean right now tyler saw the strong is leading the major leagues and homers will more forrom is leading the major leagues in homers.

Wilmer Flores is leading the league in RBIs. Jonathan Aranda is leading the major leagues in batting average. This cannot happen in the NFL or the NBA that three weeks into the season, three players who are good players would be leading the entire major leagues. This is why baseball is the greatest game is it is way too good to be predicted. Good players are bad, bad players are good. It makes absolutely no sense. Hey Tim, always a pleasure to be able

to talk baseball with you. Have you ever asked a friend to help you get tickets or something? All the time. And look, I don't want to be Mr. Ethical here, but I was taught at a very young age in the newspaper business, you do not take anything from anybody. I did a golf tournament in 1981, the Memorial, and they gave me a little notebook to take

home with me that said Memorial on it. And my boss, Dave Smith, made me mail it back to the golf to the golf course saying you don't give any of our guys anything for free. Yes people ask me for tickets all the time and I just have to politely say no one guy former pretty good player Sandlot player asked me if there's any way I could get him on the field he was 55 years old to hit and see if he could hit a ball over the wall at fenway park he asked me if i could arrange that for him i think that was the last day i spoke to him because that was the most ridiculous

request ever zazzle i'll tell you what i'm pretty certain that timmy knows eddie vetter i'm pretty certain yes is this a true story, Tim? Yeah, of course he knows Eddie Vedder. I met Eddie Vedder once at the ballpark in Wrigley, but typically I wasn't sure how great he was until people told me, hey, you met Eddie Vedder. He's like the greatest of all time.

You've got so many, Tim, you've got, this happened to you with Pitbull? What is the most embarrassing time that it's happened where someone very famous is meeting you and you know so little about the world, pop culture, and anything other than baseball that you've insulted this person by not knowing who they are?

Well, I met Nickelback on an airplane once. The entire band was on the, and they, so I, somehow we got in a conversation with them. So I said, so who are you guys? And they said, we're Nickelback. And there was absolutely no understanding on my part. And I said, honestly, this is so bad. I'm so embarrassed.

It's not that bad. It's all right. I said, honestly, this is so bad, I'm so embarrassed. It's not that bad, it's all right. I said, what is that? And he said, oh, we're a musical band or a group or whatever they called it. So I was sitting with Nickelback, they explained who they were, and I didn't know who they were.

That's how bad Poor Pop Pop is at so many things. Aw, isn't that sweet? I love you so much. You should really listen to Poor Pop Pop's podcast. That's what the name of it should be. Pop Pop, that's fine. Poor Pop Pop. We have a segment every week Dan called Poor Pop Pop

because we go over something that everyone else in the world is capable of doing except for me. And then Jeffrey, who is a magician and doing so many things he can fix anything you can figure everything out he explains how the world works in our weekly segment called or pop up where i just explain what it what a dope

i really have to do that to be heard from you guys i have not uh... no we will stay on this because uh... stood outside and i have to compete to see if we can get zaslo some pearl jam not uh... well all right we will stay on this because uh... stood outside i have to compete to see if we can get zeslow some pearl jam tickets uh... uh... you mentioned that the rules of journalism i are could take anything under twenty five dollars but anything that was worth more than twenty five dollars i had to pay for i was not allowed to do it that to do anything uh... there

beyond twenty five dollars you had zero dollars ten you you could not accept a single appended uh... but well i'm sure i accepted appended but back in the newspaper days dan when i covered the texas rangers they of course used to feed us in the press room every night and it was for free because back then in the early eighties the press room didn't charge as they do today but my boss dave smith the guy who made me stand the factual back to the memorial golf tournament

he made a very clear to the rangers early on that uh... we are not going to eat free in your press room and he sent them like a five hundred dollar check so the beat writer me could eat for the season in the press room at arlington stadium and then we had this discussion all my god by sports editor and dog rater and i don't greater was the manager of the rangers in nineteen eighty three dave sm Smith came down to meet him and Doug Rader said, if we win the World Series this year, Tim will get a World Series ring because he's the big guy, to which my boss, not recognizing how Doug Rader was just pulling a string, they got in this huge

argument whether I should get a World Series ring or not. Needless to say, they didn't win the World Series, but if they had, I promise you, I would not have gotten or accepted a World Series ring. Timmy, you're wearing a beautiful, and we all noticed it by the way, a beautiful Walter Johnson jacket. I'm wondering, did he hand that to you personally? As you may not know, Walter Johnson died on December 10th, 1946. I was born. I was born.

You don't know. You don't know how to do anything. How do you know that exact date? You weirdo. Well, if you would let me finish. Okay, sorry. He died on December 10th, 1946. I was born on December 10th, 1956. 10 years to the day after Walter Johnson died,

I was born. How can you forget that? When you go to Walter Johnson High School and you work for the school paper. I'm so sorry. This is the part of you I've never missed. The rage that happens every time. That's a question. You come on with us and you're enraged. This is how it happens every time.

It's like he's in the car. We start with laughter and then eventually you just get enraged and start screaming at me in front of everybody Like it happens every time and like the audience is tired of how abusive you are to me All right I have never been angry at you even one time Dan and you have asked me some of the dumbest questions in the history Of radio and I still have never gotten mad at you the history of radio and I still have never gotten mad at you. Hey guys, it's Lucy and I'm about to tell you about the most incredible, unforgettable gift you can get mom this Mother's Day.

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It takes all your accounts, credit cards, and investments so you always know where your money stands. No more guessing, no more stress, just years ago, the origins of this very show were just a dream for Dan and Stugots. That dream turned into a show and a business you're listening to today. Starting your own business is a dream lots of us share, but too many of us let it remain just a dream. Don't hold yourself back thinking, what if I don't have the skills?

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$1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash butard. B-A-T-A-R-D. Go to Shopify.com slash butard. Shopify.com slash butard. Don LeBattard. Punctuate this segment with what is your strike three call. Strike one would be Troy and then you stand up and you give a good point to the right two gods That's same for strike two, but strike three you get down low. You got your hands behind the catcher All right, the right arm goes up into the air. Yeah, and then you finish it with the punch Right arm flings way up into the air

way up into the air. Ha! Ha! And you finish with a karate. I wish I could see that. It's terrible. The audio's great. Ha! Ha!

This is the Don LeBathard Show with the Stoogats. When did Rusty Stop die? Oh no. I believe Rusty Stop, I know this, Rusty Stop died on opening day when the Marlins played on opening day and Hap hit a home run on the first pitch of the game. You can't do this. You cannot. I believe this, I believe Rust rusty stop died that day because we were talking about

you know first pitch of the Marlin season is hit for a home run by by half of the Cubs and then we went through and Rusty stop, you know hit a home run as a teenager and a home run as a 40 year old And he was the second guy to do that Ty Cobb was the first common to do that type cob was the first comment on it once asked gene lost the manager of the expo is when russi stop with was a star there gene lock who was a pretty funny quiet guy he said uh...

he had he has both who power and i knew what that meant even before i knew what the word both who meant so that's right pretty sure that's the day that Rusty Stobb died. Opening day, the Marlins and first pitch home run. Tell us something we don't know. We have confirmed that Rusty Stobb did die that day

and we actually have sound. Billy was in the stadium on the phone with our show when this home run happened. Tim, as much as you can here, take us up to the dramatic first pitch Billy Jose Arenia standing at the back of the mound he reaches down. He's rubbing some dirt and rosin on his hands and here we go Up now. He's writing something on the mound with his fingers next to the logo. I can't see what he's writing Right. He's uh, well, here we go. And I wind up and the pitch. Oh, god, a home run on the first pitch. Oh my god. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Welcome Derek Jadon and that concludes our Marlins coverage for the season. Let the guy make the call, huh? He's swallowed, Billy.

The best part is you could so clearly hear the bat on the ball. Yeah. Tim, I wanna ask you, I know how much you love pitching matchups. You look every day to find little word plays with the pitching matchups. I want you to remind the people how excited you got

when the Dodgers played the Nationals and it was Dustin May versus Mackenzie Gore. Oh, wow. Yeah, well, this is what we do on our podcast. I challenged my son, Jeff, again, not a baseball fishing not to like his dopey dad. I said, Jeff, look at the starting pitching matchups today and tell me what you notice.

And he looked and looked and looked and came up with the starting pitching matchup today was Gore May. So he found it i was so proud of him and i told him you know the day you got married to get the ad baby i was so proud of you but today might be the most proud of ever been because you found gore and may and and put them together soon yes i'd look at all the starting pitching matchups there's no telling what you might see course in on nova face matt kane several years ago so we had the no

one can't match up to one of my favorite and chad moller that the only thing the baseball ever let's us down on chad moller former catcher if he had caught in that game it would have been the greatest pitching matchup battery in the history of the sport that ch Chad Moeller was the catcher for the Nova Cane game. I love it. That's so good. Does Rex Ryan look like the father-in-law who when finding out your wife is pregnant,

awkwardly high fives you and says, glad to hear your old equipment still works? Yeah, look at him. your old equipment still works. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh God, this is so bad. Tim, always good to be able to talk baseball with you. If you had to bet who is better at getting something done for their friend, would it be Stugatz or Dan? I would go with Dan probably every time on that. I know Stugatz has his ways of doing things.

He got me to write something for his book. It didn't take long. But I think Dan is very persuasive because his use of the English language is absolutely breathtaking. I'm not kidding. And I just think sometimes if you use the proper words and you're really good with the language, you can get people to do what you want to do. And Dan is not only better than Stugots, Dan is better than just about everyone but still got should still try though rights of course do that is always going to try and that's fairly out thank you to me not always but but thank you to me i appreciate it

uh... to me if you tell me to shut up on this i will joe mauer is not a first ballot hall of famer i think he's not i and so that I understand your point. To me, you're either a Hall of Famer or you're not. It doesn't matter if you're a first ballot or not. So if you think he's a Hall of Famer, you should put him in on the first ballot. That's just the way that I think about it.

Sue Gotts, you look at the first eight years, 10 years as a catcher for Joe Maurer, there's really no comparable other than Mike Piazza, who's the greatest a catcher for joe maher there's really no comparable other than mike piazza who's the greatest hitting catcher of all time johnny benches greatest catcher yogi bears the second-greatest catcher but joe maher was did things that no catcher has ever done in the history of the sport when it comes to winning batting titles it's all that stuff uh... so that's why i think he's a first ballot hall of famer but again i don't

include first ballot is all of a very he's getting my vote on a carrot the first ballot or the time wait a minute though i mean it's just a lot of people we've we've really we overlooked a couple of things here i don't i don't want i don't want to just simply skip past we did not plan that rusty stop moment chose a random player and said, what's the date that he died? And Tim Kirchian, you know, was at the date.

That's a weird thing to have happen. It's an unusual, it's not a coincidence. It makes me wonder how many things like this, Tim Kirchian could do like that, because that's not normal to your your retention for these things is crazy i had a conversation with al michael's uh... all all right yep conversation in which he had recall

from a world series game that he called forty something years ago that had all of the players in the same place that they were because it's a retention that is genius level. You have an ability here to do weird things like this on a number of different subjects, on a number of different dates and times and numbers, correct? I have some skills when it comes to that.

Those are my only skills, but I'm telling you, Dan, it's a baseball thing. We have another segment on our show called I Am a Seamhead. The first guy who came on, Mark Simon, can tell you who made the last out to end every World Series for the last 70 years at the second guy was judd birch who can name every empire in the major leagues

based on the uniform number on their jersey which we didn't even know they had a uniform number then we had on uh... jeff bennett formally the espn who can tell you what every baseball card looks like from nineteen eighty two through eighty five brought to them that uh... of baseball card and back of the baseball card birthplace height weight carly strebsky i'm not making this up

and then we had a guy named mike pedicab on last week and he you can go like this to mike he used to work for the indians as a uh... as a a p writer hundred twenty seven hits four hundred eighty one at bats and in a matter of two seconds he could figure that out in his head and give you

the batting average these are what seem heads can do and i maintain their more in baseball than any other sport. So yes, I have strange retention of things, but on things that are really important, I can't remember anything. I understand that you're good at your job allegedly, but I just want you to know that as you started saying that, my executive producer, who's had a heavy tongue for a couple of days here,

said in my ear, cause he's distracting and he's keeping me actively from listening to the person who's talking useless I mean all those the final out thing like that he knows every what every baseball card looked like he could tell you the umpires number just a useless stuff to know but that's kind of the point baseball is pointless and that's what makes it so interesting so just the other day the the race scored one run in the first inning four runs in the second inning nine runs in the third

inning against the red sox so i checked with the people who could look this up the first time in major league history that any team is ever scored one of the first four the second nine in the third we played all hundred and fifty years we played well over 200,000 games, and that first three line score had never happened in baseball history. It's pointless, it's useless, it's stupid, but people actually care about that stuff, including me.

Tim, what's your son Jeff's birthday? Is... I hope he gets this wrong. He's thinking about it. I want him to think about it. I'm not gonna take a quiz. Look, this is his angry side again. When he doesn't know something, he lashes out

and all of a sudden he gets defensive. We get it. You don't know the, we don't, you don't know. August 9th, 1993. And his daughter was born on August 8th of, August 10th of 1993. She came a couple hours late. Otherwise his daughter would have been born on his birthday

on the night that Michael Lorenzen was pitching a no-hitter for the Phillies while dad and mom were watching the Phillies on the TV in the hospital room thinking our daughter's gonna be born on daddy's birthday and the night that Michael Lorenzen threw a no-hitter. We just missed out on that. What was the umpire doing home plates and jersey number? I'm not kidding you, this Judd Birch guy,

you could ask him on a random Tuesday night, no matter where you are, it doesn't matter, who's working second base in Texas, and he would say Adrian Johnson. I tested him on it. He can do these things. Weird people exist in baseball, and that's another reason I love it,

and I'm not apologizing for it. Quick aside, just to close the loop. My father-in-law often told me I look like Rusty Stop. Useless. Rusty Stop was a great cook by the way. So am I. He used to pack his pots and pans with him on road trips. So if it was like a 10-day trip, he would get a hotel room that has like a stove and an oven and he would take his own pots and pans and cook for himself on the road.

Amazing. He was also one of the few players heavy set like that and the only one who was orange. I think that's what my father-in-law is doing. Buck Showalter once asked me, this is so typical Buck Showalter, he looks at me one night randomly and says, give me a great player who's got a lot of freckles. That's what he said to me.

And I can't even, I've never been asked this question in my life, so I just reflectively said, Rusty Stobb, and he goes, I said a great player, not a really good player he was angry that I guess rusty stop it was the best I could do but imagine being asked by a former major league manager who's the best player I've ever seen a lot of freckles wow didn't see it coming what's Buck show alters birthday um but is the same age as I am I'm'm gonna stay, it's late May of 1956.

I'll be close on that. Can he really do this? There's no way, we've got so many games. May 23rd, 56. Okay, we're gonna keep quizzing him. It is, it's voodoo. Took him less time than his son. It's crazy, it's voodoo.

It did take him less time than his son. That's shocking. He was more confident. And he was more confident. Put it take him less time than his son. That's shocking. He was more confident, too. And he was more confident. Put it on the Paulette LeBattard Show. Are you surprised at all that Tim Kirkshin knows more about Buck Shaw Walter than he does about his own son? Does Paul Skeens look like someone tried to draw Josh Allen from memory? That is so good.

Does Tony Reale look like the overzealous owner of an Italian restaurant who will always greet you at the door with my favorite couple when you walk in? That is so good. Does Bucksh, I'm sorry, does Brock Purdy look like a young pastor? Does Kirby Smart look like the wholesale tire rep who tells you he didn't charge you for that alignment

even though it's complimentary? Does Bill Plashke look like he's the father of Jonathan Zaslow? Oh my God. What is that picture, Zas? Yeah, that's pretty close. That was after a Panther loss in the Stanley Cup playoffs. I know exactly what it was.

Does Jonathan Zaslow look like an adult playing the role of a toddler? look like an adult playing the role of a toddler. Tim, before you get out of here quickly, because I want to tell people, his baseball stuff is so good, and baseball stuff at ESPN is, look, I'm just going to say, Tim's baseball stuff is really good,

and he wrote a piece last month before the start of the season about the decline of the first baseman and he really cares about this sport and the stuff more than anyone i've ever met my life and i know book shambhi and so the decline of the first baseman what happened well the industry has decided that first base is no longer an important offensive position so we take louise arrives to our love but we sir eyes is not a first baseman but they put him at first base because it's the position he can play where he can play every single day we've gotten away from

the first baseman hit a lot of home runs and driving and runs instead we mix and match and we go put a lot of people over there who really aren't first baseman hit a lot of home runs and driving and runs instead we mix and match and we go put a lot of people over there who really aren't first baseman plus the days of the left handed it's a left handers position fellows trust me on that the days of john all the route are over where you find a left handed thrower who can hit really play defense and drive-in runs we don't care about that guy anymore at first base the average the batting average from first baseman last year was the lowest since nineteen

hundred and the old p s was the lowest since nineteen sixty eight and it's because the industry no longer values what a first baseman can bring big-time, but they look and with all the shifting we need a really quick guy over there, we need somebody who can cover a lot of ground and that's why Pete Alonso took all this time to just get a job because they looked at the body type, doesn't run very well, not very good defensive player, only got a two-year deal and he's off to a

great start by the way. Does Mel Kuiper look like the father of the bride who lets out a less than subtle cough when he feels the first kiss has gone on a little too long? Oh god, we have Mel, get this, we have Mel on our podcast next week on the day before the draft to talk to him about baseball. The best Mel Kuyper dad looks like, you remember, he looks what, like the eagle who protects the, these young eagles. I'm pretty close on that.

The protective eagle, Mel Kuyper, how great is that? Does Mike Schur look like he lets out a little toot while walking from the putting green back to the golf cart? He does. Does Draymond Green look like he eats apples whole? Did you guys prepare any new game here at the end? I want a name imaging anything for, has Tim Kirchhen ever done something before?

What do we have here? We have a few submissions here, Tim. Tim, have you ever sent food back at a restaurant? I have not, and that's a fact. I get everything cooked really all the way through. A couple times steak was a little bit rare, but I just said, it's not important, I'll eat it anyway. So no, I've never sent anything back at a restaurant.

Tim, have you ever played Domino's? I have, I wasn't very good at them, but I played Domino's. Have you ever had cafecito? I don't even know what that is, but I've only had two cups of coffee in my life. So if that has anything to do with coffee and both of them were on the radio because Mike Greenberg was amazed during the Mike and Mike show that I'd never had a cup of coffee.

So I drank one and then another three weeks later on the air just to show that I've actually had a cup of coffee. It's really pathetic. But as you know, I drink a diet Mountain Dew every morning with the box scores, which is great. In fact, Dan bought me a refrigerator that had diet Mountain Dew written all over it. But I had to throw it out

because the motor in it was broken and it sounded like there was a lawnmower in my room. A gift didn't go the way I intended. I just send him a loud and noisy. He had a good run with it. And he had to throw it out. It was heavy. Yep. A gift didn't go the way I intended it to. I just sent him a loud and good. He had a good run with it, though. And he had to throw it out, and it was heavy. How long did you have it? About a year.

Yeah. It's not really a good run. Put it on the Poll that Levitard show. Is a year with a vending machine a good run. It's a cup of coffee. By the way, you'd know if you had the cup of coffee I'm talking about. Actually, it's a thimble of coffee.

It's Cuban coffee. It's jet fuel. You would fly to your son's house instead of driving, by the way. Just lift off and shh. No, but I did go to Cuba and I had a mojito, which I'd never had before. Whoa. Wacky.

You made it sexy. Yes, you had us with the mojito. What just happened there, Chris Cody? Useless. I was looking for white guys. Useless. Tim, thank you for being on with us. It's always a pleasure seeing you and I will tell the audience again, you should check out Poor Pop Pop. Poor Pop Pop. Yeah, we have several of them this week. Thanks Dan. See you guys. I miss you guys. Alright, love you. Love you. Likewise. Cod Flourish! Folks, listen up. They're here and they're hot. Get ready because Jimmy John's is turning up the heat.

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