The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Dan's Hippoflage (feat. Jason Benetti)

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

The crew wants to play a game of "Miami Marlin or Florida Panther" with Jason Benetti, but that can't happen until we hear from his former professor, Mark Johnson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBoutard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. Hello, friends. It's Billy. Coming up this week on God Bless Football, the return of Stu Gotts. No, but what we do have is we have a game that we like to call college football, the return of Stu Gotts. No, but what we do have is we have a game that we like to call college football,

or God bless football's bracket bonanza, and this is what we did with bracket bonanza. We took the 16 teams in the AFC and the 16 teams in the NFC. Call me crazy. We ranked each one of those teams, one to 16, and then all of those teams in the AFC went up against each other.

And then all those teams in the NFC, in the AFC went up against each other and then all those teams in the NFC One through 16 went up against each other and then bracket style one versus 16 eight versus nine They then start filling in the brackets and competing against each other And I know what you're thinking this sounds just like the NFL playoffs just expanded. No, it's not that and why is it not bad? Because there's no reseating of the matchups after certain teams lose. So you can have a number one against a number nine, you can have a number five against a 13.

You never know what you're gonna get in God Bless Football's Bracket Bonanza. So stay tuned this week and see our new edition of God Bless Football's Bracket Bonanza. This episode of the Dan Lepotard Show with Stu Gatze is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Billy Gill, that was some pizzazz

that you sold all of that with. That was some energy. I wanna tell you guys a story here from this morning that made me laugh. Did any of you see this morning, Dave McMenamin on Sports Center? Because I was walking past a television with my friend, and I asked my friend,

because he had what was normal skin color everywhere, except around his eyes, I said, is that a makeup issue or is that a sunburn because he was wearing sunglasses? And I thought those were the only two options. But my friend, matter of factly, with great confidence, and this was a bit startling to me because again, I hadn't considered a third option,

said just walking by out of the side of his mouth, tanning booth. And I thought that was a great accusation to make and I thought it was more accurate than what I was saying because I've had makeup done like that before and we've seen Joe Zagacki, the local broadcasting legend down here, when he got sunburned and this that was quick. This summoned that thought today seeing McManaman on television television i thought he was sunburned and i was surprised uh... that i could make confidently now the accusation public publicly of tanning

booth i'm killed uh... just quickly before we go on to that you're with your friend this morning before the shows the show starts yet before nine a m you were hanging out with your friend? Well, you know what's funny about you asking that question is I was gonna say, because I was in the gym here in the hotel, the gym,

but I didn't want the mockery that I was gonna get. No, that would've been cool. No, no, no. With a friend walking by a TV I don't like. I didn't, well, is he walking by a TV store where all of a sudden the TV's there, like in the window? And it was my trainer, and I didn't want those jokes either Everybody needs help

For going to the gym and having a trainer Yes, I wouldn't make fun of you for that yes Yes, Tony would make fun. No I want you to do it so you could do the bill Belichick thing you always wanted to do Which is him with a girlfriend where he like holds her? Dan said he couldn't do it and that's why he's trying to do it now. It's I like how her is not doing that I don't care Dan physically capable. No, she tried to do it. I failed at it. That's why he's in the gym with the trainer I'm making sure his core strength right I would give anything to have video of that moment This is why I said it the way that part

Okay, no, but all of this is why I said you do you guys have any idea the number of things like that? I have to do daily in order to avoid the piranhas feeding It's like just hide from us almost every sentence requires me to edit it before I say it because I know where the piranha are On this show. So what was today, back and by, chest and tris, over and over again? And that's one of them. That's one of them with the biggest teeth. What do you mean?

Oh, I'm sorry, no one's ever made fun of me on this show. Never. The problem is you have to say it happened yesterday. And then we don't try to dissect it. But the problem was McManaman was on today. No one cares. I'm interested in the act of a scenario. Chronological order.

McManaman's on TV. I watch interested in the act on that. We wouldn't have known that. No, no, no, it's chronological order. I can imagine it's on TV. I watch SportsCenter 24 hours a day. He was not on on Wednesday, March 25th, or 26th, whatever. Again, you guys don't seem to know the internet when I make a mistake. Be a better liar. Yeah, you guys don't seem to understand

how this goes for me. Jesse just said the functional part, which is you need to be a better liar. Well, I was camouflaging it, is what I was trying to do. You better camouflage. Okay, I was camouflaging it, is what I was trying to do. You better camouflage. Okay, thank you guys. You guys are great at being able to figure out what I need to do to avoid the internet's cruelty.

This is constructive criticism, it's helpful. Yeah. I mean, we are experts on it, considering that we are constantly also criticized on the internet. Yeah, that's true. Not me. Let's so, let's so.

Oh no, they love me, Dan. And Jess for sure. Yeah, that's true. Not me. Less so. Less so. Oh no, they love me, Dan. And Jess for sure. No, no, no. Less so. Jess is just beloved. Did you call it hippoflage? I did. Tried to sneak that one under the radar there.

Hippoflage. Yeah. It's like camouflage, but for hippos. Get out of your system now, he's got a trainer, I mean. What would that, it is exactly what I was trying to do. Is trying to kick boxing so he could fight all of us Zumba what's the funniest workout to picture Dan doing you're right now I do want to make fun of you the bill and the Billy blanks one oh that was a time huh

time oh man Billy banks was everywhere he was in movies and stuff and then the last Boy Scout. Yes, he was Blanks what an incredible enthusiasm for the last boy scout. That was the very first thing they did in the movie I was a kickoff returner. I know Except that was the improbable football story of someone being shot with a gun during a game because the running bank being shot with a gun during a game because the running bank had a gun. It could happen. It could not happen. Today's not spoiler Wednesday, Dan.

I guess it could happen. I suppose it could happen, but it seems unrealistic. Do you guys ever think, like, this is something I've actually thought, but it's also a great excuse. Do you guys ever think, you know what, I don't wanna ever get into, like, really great physical shape or be known to't wanna ever get into really great physical shape

or be known to be in really great physical shape because then everyone will always be like, oh, he used to look so much better. He's really fallen off. I like to tiptoe the line of just healthy enough to not die and not morbidly obese for people like you are a slob. Billy, weren't you the one who said

I'm not gonna get in shape for my wedding photos because then when my wife looks back at the wedding photos, she won't say, oh man, you lost it all. She'll look at me and be like, oh wow, you still look great. That sounds like something I might've said. Yeah, I remember Billy saying this back when we were in the Cleveland area.

Kevin Nealon just said it to Bert Kreischer's face. Bert Kreischer was showing him photos of him sculpted when he was young and Kevin Nealon right to his face, deadpan, you've let yourself go. And this is after Chrysler's lost 50 pounds and stuff. So he's doing a lot of work on himself by the way. He's been looking good recently. I don't know, Burt's got one of them faces

where it's like he always gonna look. It's the face. It's always gonna look big. I'm familiar with those faces. One greets me in the mirror and every morning, 7 a.m. when I walk past McManaman and make fun of his face with my fat face. To answer your question, I'm gonna say no to the tanning booth

because Dave McManaman is a proud Irish boy from Philadelphia or thereabouts. He knows what his complexion is. He can't go in that tanning booth. He knows he's gonna turn into a lobster, so that's gotta be involuntary. Can you guys please reach out to McManaman on behalf of our show, do some journalism here,

and either get him on or ask him whether he can just verify for us whatever it is was happening with. He's not gonna throw his makeup artist under the bus. That's definitely what it was. He's in Chicago, though. It was like from Indiana to Chicago, got an early morning flight probably. He's probably already landed.

It's a short flight. How long is that flight? Chicago to where? From Indiana to Chicago. That's like 30 minutes. That's, yeah. It's a quick trip. 40 minutes.

He's almost certainly made the trip. Just see if you guys can reach out to him please for me so that I can just get to the bottom of this even if he has to no comment. I wanna do the hard-hitting journalism. Ronan Farrow's gonna join us later in the show to do less hard-hitting journalism. Billy, how do you feel about opening day

and your beloved Marlins, but mostly opening day? I feel excited today. Today's a good day, Dan. I had my fantasy draft yesterday, but it was very long, it was 30 rounds, and it started at 9 p.m., so that one lasted a very long time. But, I mean, it's opening day today.

Every team's in first place. Well, I guess they're not, because they had those two games in Japan, so the Dodgers are in first place, the Cubs are in last place. Everyone's in last place. No, wait, Cubs. Everyone's not in first,. The Cubs are in last place. Everyone's in last place. No wait, everyone everyone's not in first I don't second to last. I think everyone's like half a game back maybe? Let's see here.

Well the Cubs are last place by themselves. Everyone's a half game from the lead. How about that? Yeah, that's what I think is what's going on. The Dodgers have played two games. So everyone's a game back. Game back, okay Well, they're tied atop the wild card though. So everyone's a playoff team at the moment, I suppose. Right, is that a good way to... Except for the Cubs. Yeah, I mean the Marlins are gonna have one of the better pitching match,

or the best pitching matchup of the day, I think. You're gonna have Paul Skeens against Sandy Alcantara. It should be a fun game, probably a very fast game, if I were to guess, because I don't know how much offense will be in the game, it's baseball so maybe there'll be a lot of office my wife asked me before the game she said like what time do you think this game is gonna end I'm like this game is probably like two

hours because it's just gonna be a pitchers to one there's probably gonna be no offense but this now because I said that will probably be like an eight to six game or something well I wanted to ask you guys about I don't know if the nation at large cares at all about Sandy Alcantara even though he is one of game or something? Well I wanted to ask you guys about, I don't know if the nation at large cares at all about Sandy Alcontra even though he is one of Cy Young, but it is legitimately in a lifetime in sports one of the very few times that I was up close to physically something that represented something I had never seen before. When I saw Michael Vick for the first time

and he made an athlete like Jason Taylor look like Jason Taylor wasn't an athlete and I'm on the sideline watching it, I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. You mentioned yesterday being surprised by the amount of international flavor at the arena to see Steph Curry because when you see that in person,

you simply don't under, when you're close to it, when you're physically close to the court and you can see the size of the people and you can see how far the three point line actually is from the basket, what's happening there doesn't like compute. When I sat behind home plate and I watched Sandy pitch, I'm like, no one can hit that.

And Skeens is supposed to be better, isn't he? Like, I don't think there is a pitcher that can be a lot better than Sandy was this young season, but Skeens' rookie card that's one of a kind that goes for $1.1 million does so because the Pittsburgh Pirates have someone who's supposed to be better than Sandy because he throws a hundred miles an hour instead of 98

It's also because he has this god-like command already that it took Sandy a little while to learn how to like pitch instead of just throw and The command that skeins has of every single pitch that he throws as a rookie. He was having performances that were like Roger Clemens like. I mean, the last guy that we saw come up and be that dominant immediately was Steven Strasburg, and he broke down quickly. Obviously, we hope that's not the case with Skeens,

but the way he's built, the way he throws, the ease in which he throws with his mechanics, the reason everybody's so excited is because the anticipation is, this is one of those guys who's gonna be this good for 10 to 15 years. Can I ask you guys a question, the baseball people? Dan said, oh, when I sit behind his home plate

and I see the guy pitch, I'm like, oh, that's amazing. In real time, are you guys able to see the stuff in the pitches? For me, I need a replay. To me, every pitcher in Major League Baseball, it just looks, wh just look and then either the guy hit it or no. Yes, you're right It's it's all pretty ridiculous more so than it's ever been because every bullpen arm can do something like that But it isn't the same I will tell you that it's not like what I was watching there were any number of pitchers who threw in that game and

watching that one any number of pitchers who threw in that game and watching that one. I I I it all looked and it sounded different like it it was it was something that I was having trouble processing because in all like I covered major league baseball for a season and when I did here you go you wanted this. I wanted this because he said I was walking I had problems

processing ads. You know Dan at the ballpark. My Lord. I wanted this because he said I was walking, I had problems processing, I had, you know, Dan at the ballpark, my lord! Oh, oh, I like just being, whoa, whoa, whoa. Curve ball! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we had problem processing. Do you have a seizure?

That's the most annoying impression I think you've ever done. I mean, give, my lord! He's got a sweeper! I mean, if I may segue this to Miami's pro day earlier this week, I was thinking similarly to you. What a tradition. It's like, just give me a second.

Similarly to you, there's athletic feats that sometimes you're watching and you're like, is this bad? This looks like it's still good. This specific 40-yard dash by Cam McCormick, who is the famously like the nine-year player who had a bunch of injuries and now he's He went to Miami was tight end was bitter with Mario Cristobal forever. He runs his 40 This was the video that was put out of his 40 jog nice jog there He's a nice like it looked like you know what he looked like. He looked like the elevators closing and like hold on

Let me that wasn't jog though, he wasn't sprinting. That was, he is a nine year college player. Listen to the end of this video, please. Ever! I didn't think he was jogging, bro. Oh, wow, that's amazing. The person filming was like, wait a second. That's how you know it was Miami's pro day by the way.

Also his body, hey look man, your draft day, or preparing for the draft, this is supposed to be the peak physical condition, right? You've been doing nothing but like drink water and do crunches all day. A little gelatinous, not exactly like, yo this is my peak condition. Again, a guy who's had like five season ending injuries,

he's like Jeremy's age, he's competing against like 21 year olds, but I thought like, this is a prime example of, keep your thoughts to yourself because there's 15 people filming in front of you, and I don't know who this person was, but I'm with Tony, this has to be a Miami person at the end of this video. It sounded like Lewis.

I thought it was Lewis in my ear, to be honest with you. Can I give you a theory of what I think may have happened there? I think maybe Cam McCormick was going for good teammate, good team guy. Let me show the other teams out there that I'm just gonna be one of the people that's gonna make my teammates look good.

Because of his poor performance Took a little bit of the attention off of Xavier Restrepo who had a truly Horrific 40 time and then we came out then all of a sudden we have a hamstring this and a hamstring that And we were looking primed to be a good special teamer and now there's questions as to is this still gonna be the situation Billy come on You're one of the independence best people on the planet covering football whatever you know Xavier X is not what is it the garden? the garden my bad What is it whatever okay?

You know that X is a guy is gonna get in the slides gonna find open spots in the zone He's not gonna be a special team. He's gonna be a special guy on offense Let me ask you guys a question is it possible is it just possible that like he's kind of changed his mind and he didn't want to do it anymore Like any of it football, but now it's like everyone showed up after nine years in college Yeah, I just realized you know what I'm not gonna cut the mid sprint Everyone does have that breaking point where like you know what I can I can get up today and I can do this and they're Like you know what I can't get up today and I can do this. And they're like, you know what, I can't. I really, I have enough of this.

I'm surprised, Billy, at the delight you're taking in Restrepo being bad. I didn't take any delight in that whatsoever. What are you talking about? I didn't point out that Tyronne Amstead had a faster 40 than he did and he outweighs him by 100 pounds. I didn't say that. Billy, why are you taking delight in? I didn't take delight. Why, why are you taking delight in-

I didn't take delight. Why would I take delight in a 22-year-old's failure? What kind of sick, sad person would I have to be? To answer your question, I mean, sometimes when you are just a spectator, you can tell when someone is not performing as well as their peers. Even in baseball. This is a message from sponsor Intuit Turbo Tax. Taxes was dealing with piles of paperwork and frustrating forms, and then waiting and wondering and worrying if you were going to get any money back. Now Taxes is easily uploading your forms to a Turbo Tax expert who's matched to your unique tax situation.

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Don LeBretard. That was a long story. Yeah. It's the only kind he tells. It's the short one for me. I tried to speed it up for you guys. You forgot about the League's Cup. Stugats! Yeah. La Carreta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the 97 Marlins celebration because it was Levant. Well when Fidel died the first time. This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

You guys all feel that? Do you feel open and gay? One of the best play-by-play announcers in any sport. You can hear him on Fox, calling college football, basketball, and NFL games. He's also the television voice of the Detroit Tigers, and has been appearing enough that I think he has graduated to friend of the show. Has he graduated to friend of the show? Very presumptuous. Oh look how happy he is. I may be, wait, if you guys want to vote on this,

I think he has, and he seems excited, but we can vote if you guys don't think he's yet qualified and needs to audition more for Friend of the Show. We're the kind of friends that's like, with friends like these, who needs enemies? Kind of. What does he be, yeah.

All right, so that's a vote for yes, because I thought it would be funnier if you guys all voted no. Yeah, do a handstand. Do a handstand. We're a cost to you. Exactly right. I need to let Jason know, you realize being friend

of the show comes with, like, a cost, right? And the cost is we're just cost to you. We are friends. Exactly right. I need to let Jason know, you realize being friend of the show comes with like a cost, right? And the cost is, we're just gonna ask you to answer every question in a different voice every single time. And your mental health. Oh, that's good, yes. Let's do it that way. In a different voice each time, answer the questions.

Give me some poems about opening day. Jason Benetti, thank you for joining us. But opening day is such a charming time and such a beautiful, romantic time for baseball purists where they can speak about hope. So in whatever voice you choose, please give us some baseball poetry. I think he froze.

You know, I was like, maybe I wanna be our friend. Oh, there he is. Green, hello. All right, Todd her friend. Oh, there he is. Oh, the green lobe. All right, Todd, take it. Can you hear me now? Yeah, there it is. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead. Yeah, I got you.

All right, let's put him down and get this right. So that the enthusiasm. Not put him down, that's a bit much. Where is he, like Albuquerque or something? Bad Wi-Fi? No, he's in the major leagues. Almost. Why would he be in Albuquerque?

I don't know. Because that's what Bugs Bunny would say. It's opening day. Stop, take a long be an Albuquerque? I don't know. Because that's what Bugs Bunny would say. It's opening day. Take a long take at Albuquerque. What is with you and the impressions today? You've launched like seven of them. Amin's very theatrical.

Can you do Kermit the Frog? Yes, I can. That was my favorite. I was telling Miss Piggy, I said, hey, Jason Bonetti's coming on, yay! None of the other impersonations. I don't understand what one of those impersonations was. And one of them, I don't wanna.

The grandfather? No. The German one. No, no, no. That was not the problematic one. I don't know. The Italian one? I know, no, there was another one in there somewhere.

You'll never be alone with me, kid. Akbar? That I don't know. It's bad when dances, I don't know which was the problematic one, and you just start rolling off like five or six. Yeah, all the problematic ones. There were a lot of them in there. And I guess that, I don't know whether you guys remember

sort of when journalists, writers specifically, wrote about baseball in a way that sports has never been written about. Like Frank the Ford, do you mean? Yes, it was all the poetry of baseball representatives wrote about baseball in a way that sports has never been written about. Like Frank the Ford, do you mean? Yes, it was all the poetry of baseball representing America and representing all the best things about America

when you can just go home. The goal is just to get home. And so I asked Jason Benetti, baseball poet, hopefully that has a Zoom that works this time, because he's dangerously close not to being a friend of the show. Because friends, friends. Oh no.

Yeah, friends. Oh no, oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no, not that. Anything but that. That's a fate worse than death. Well, friends of the show need to have working communication. I know, I know. I'm in Los Angeles this time.

I'm not in Lakeland. This should not be happening. Los Angeles should have high-level Wi-Fi. Very near Albuquerque. Go ahead and give us a baseball poem of some sort about what baseball opening day means to you. I'll do it. It's droopy dog. Is that okay, you happy people? It's gonna be hard to do this happy, but okay.

The green of the grass, that bunting on the stands the bunting on the field. I'm happy. I could. I could. You you you know what I'm talking about though a different time in America when the baseball writers would write about what this day is,

but it is this day for people like you. For people who love baseball, I don't know if this is the best day, but it's the second best day. Are we answering in a different voice every time? That's up to you. You're the entertainer here. You know, I want to tell you, opening day is absolutely about purity and wonderful and beautiful and lovely. This is a voice of the Colorado Buffalo's Mark Johnson, by the way, who was a professor

of mine back in college. We used to try to get him to say phrases in his very, very deep. No, this is a it's very, very deep. His very, very deep voice. We used to try to get him to say phrases in this voice in our class, like I have a Nickelback CD in my car, and things like that. Baseball opening day is the most beautiful day for a local television announcer, and because of that ESPN took our game and I'm not working today.

Billy, are you laughing because Benetti chose an obscure impression for us? Well, I was gonna ask if Jason can only do impressions of friends and family moving forward. No more Doopie the Dogs or anyone we know, just teachers, friends, people we don't know. Yeah. Sure, yeah, I'm totally- No, no, don't listen to him.

No, Benetti, you're a professional! Benetti, don't listen- Okay, I'll do whatever I want. Don't listen to him. Him offering you advice on how to be entertaining is the wrong way to go, Benetti. Be your own man. Okay, so what if I learn from really good people like Norm MacDonald? Is that okay?

Yes, that is much better. So I ran into, can I tell you a quick Norm MacDonald story? Please. It's opening day, comedy day, Jason. Don't listen to him, please. Oh my gosh. That offers like a pat nip for Dan, a Norm MacDonald story. Yes, please.

Me too. So early 2020, before the pandemic, I was doing a college basketball game in Columbus, Ohio. And I was sitting alone, the crew had left, I was in the Columbus airport and Norm comes walking in and we get to talk and he's like two tables away and I love his work. So we get to talking about sports,

he asked what I do, I tell him. So he's talking about hockey and we're talking about hockey. And then randomly he turns to me and he goes, hey, you remember when they caned that kid in Singapore? Yeah, because he spit out the gum. And I go, yeah, I actually like, I remember Michael Fay, right? Like I was that age. He goes, they still doing that, you think?

And I go, what? What? I have no idea. He goes, because I got a weird nephew in Singapore. You think they're going to cane him? And so that was it. And then he went right back into hockey. And so when Norm passed, I Googled like Norm McDonald Singapore and norm McDonald caning just to see if he was kicking the tires

On a bit that he had done and he never did it publicly But I'm certain he was just testing it out on me. That is correct. He enjoyed weird and awkward He said a weird nephew. Yeah. Yeah, I got a I got a weird nephew in in Singapore you you think they're gonna cane them What are you most excited about this baseball season? Well beyond your Tigers? Yeah I think I'm most excited to see how Major League Baseball reacts to having a total villain Like the Dodgers seem to be a total villain like anybody but the Dodgers according to everybody who's not a Dodger fan. And so I'm interested to see how many games they win first of all because they are a super

team to beat all super teams. But then what the what this all looks like you know I think it with the possible you know in two years the CBA is up And so the Dodgers are deferring all this money. And I don't even think it's just fans that are like, hey, anybody but the Dodgers, I think the league owners, you know, some owners probably privately are like anybody but the Dodgers, because we want to have the chance to win as well. So that but I also just think there's a ton of young talent

too that's fun. And like Paul Skeens versus Sandy Alcantara today, like you can get excited about Pirates Marlins on opening day. And I think there's something awesome about that. So number one for me is what the Dodgers are gonna do. And then number two is just the loads of young talent. And then I also think like I do think the league has nailed it with the rule changes.

And I think in year three now, seeing how the league either separates or kind of coagulates in the middle on how they decide on how they're going to handle the rule changes like the Brewers got themselves to the playoffs with stealing a ton of bags, making a lot of contact last year. So will more teams try that? How does that sort of interplay happen between teams tactically? You said super team to beat all super teams

and I was having this discussion with David Sampson the other day when I said, when you've got an over under on wins for the season of 104 and a half for the Dodgers that I can start assembling the argument that that's the best roster ever Assembled if that's where you're gonna put the expectations and he countered by saying that the Mariners won whatever it was 116 games one Season but they weren't expected to do that No one's ever expected Jason to win a hundred. Like the idea that I could lose a bet

before the season if the Dodgers win a hundred and four games is not something I've ever seen in baseball before. No, but I do like that it shatters the typical axiom of like you'll win one, you lose one, and then what you do in the decisive game three of the series is what's going to make or break your season. No, the Dodgers want to sweep you. They want to make your life really miserable for three days and win all the games. But I personally enjoy everything that can break the typical baseball axiom, right? Like that. I do love the flowery language of Roger Angel, and I do truly love the sort of the pageantry of opening

day but I also like the idea that some teams and some people are just trying to shatter what we've said you know like let the ball travel we heard for so many years and now we know like go out and get the ball because you got to hit home runs so I do think that infusing new ideas into this game is great but I also also, you know, I don't know how you're going to beat the Dodgers. They're so deep. I don't want to, you know, be Monday morning quarterback here. But imagine if we got that answers like his eighth grade algebra teacher, Dan, like that would have been awesome. So my, my sixth grade math teacher, Mr. Ewald,

did put a poem on the board talking about like shattering expectations. Day one of sixth grade math class, he just put Mr. Ducks and then Mr. Ducks again and then like a bunch of random letters. And he was like, you know, you all think this says Mr. Ducks, but it's actually somebody saying MR Ducks,

like sort of with a Southern accent. And I don't know why I remember that, but I don't do an impression of him, but I do remember like his whole plan was to make us think, oh, you're seeing that, but what you actually should see is this. So I think it actually informs my last answer about Major League Baseball. Thanks for asking question. No, I'm so glad he did

ask. I'm so glad we got in the MR. I asked you to not listen to him. But Eddie, you're very bad at instructions. My but that's that's why I'm a problem. That's why I'm a problem. That's why I get texts from Boog after the last time, using one word that I can't use on this program. What was it? There he is. Don't listen to him, Banetti.

I was gonna, I would see, I just automatically, as a play-by-play announcer, I automatically respond to interplay. And so you're abusing that. You're abusing my yes-andedness, and I don't appreciate it, honestly, and you're gonna get a strongly worded letter. No, this is a safe place, Jason.

Like, you can say it, you too. I was told by Dan it's not a safe place to talk to you. Well, I'm trying to be welcoming here and have you feel like you're part of the crew, be a friend of the show. I'm not the one threatening to kick you out and end our friendship here. You said that in a way that reminds me of like Milchik from Severance

though so I don't I don't know if I want to believe that. Shohei Otani gonna pitch again? Yeah I think he's I he wants to so badly I mean his drive I think will inform that decision as much as anything, because, you know, somebody who's got goals from when they were a teenager, and they basically hit a lot of them, he, he loves doing it. So I think he's going to do it. Yeah, absolutely. How do you feel about signature foods and offerings at the ballpark? Are you someone who partakes liberally and enjoys ballpark food? Yes pile as many pieces of Americana onto a hot dog as possible and I will devour it

Please so what what are the stadiums that you look to for? nourishment So have you had the they have like crickets in Seattle? Have you had those no eating those no But I do I do have a margarita that has some crickets in Seattle? Have you had those? Have you eaten those? No, but I do have a margarita that has some crickets in it. You do? Yeah. How are they? Good. Tasty? Yeah.

Yeah, I agree. They have like little Chipotle lime crickets. Cleveland had a hot dog that had like, it had fruity pebbles on it last year. That's what I mean. Like give me, what is much cereal on top of a hot dog as possible? and I'm happy to do it for you. Can I ask you a question?

Can you settle the bit we were having earlier, we were talking about smoothies, and there was a debate going on because there was a green smoothie here and then there were fruit smoothies with peanut butter and banana and all this stuff, and an argument was being made that smoothies have to have fruit.

They can't be green smoothies. Were you overhearing or listening in or bugging our conversations during our college football season? Because Allison Williams and I, our sideline reporter, had a very strongly worded discussion about whether or not you have to have fruit in smoothies. And I think green green smoothies, personally, I think green smoothies are salad. I think they're salad. I think if you want a green smoothie,

you should just have a salad. It's easier. You don't have to puree the kale. So let's just go ahead and do that. Put it on the poll, please. Are green smoothies salads at LeBretard's show? Who has the best of the mascot races? And evidently the Mets are unveiling a new mascot, a race that includes a slice of pizza

and a Staten Island ferry. Really? Between you and me and the Staten Island ferry, I'm shocked to paraphrase Billy Joel. So is it going to glide? How is that going to work? Do we know how the Staten, so is it gonna glide? How is that gonna work?

Do we know how to stand out? Does it have legs? I'm assuming it is not a torso. Yes, I'm assuming that there are legs. I'm assuming that there are legs. I don't think it's in a wheelchair or with wheels, so. You don't know that. I don't, I'm assuming.

I prefaced it by saying it was an assumption. You don't know that. I don't, I don't. I'm assuming, I prefaced it by saying it was an assumption. You don't have to call me on it, but do you have a favorite of the mascot races? Yeah, I like the freeze in Atlanta because I like the idea that the freeze just says, hey, you get a hundred steps and you're not going to beat me, very obese person holding a brisket sandwich. And then the obese person with the brisket sandwich just starts legging it out, and they got the lead, and here we go, and it just, it feels like life every once in a while.

Just when you have that head start, suddenly somebody comes zooming from behind you and beat you, and it's just, it's fun to watch. I love it. I tell our guys to air it every time they do it, because I think it's funny. That's it. There you go.

And when you can mix in a very, very vanilla body suit, I think you're in great shape. So this is our own Billy Gill, the guy that you have been talking to here that I've told you not to listen to, running against the freeze here in Atlanta. And he paced himself very well. And you can watch here that Billy Gill surprised us all.

He got winded here at the end and the Freeze is making up ground. But Billy, Oh yeah. Billy Gill, Oh wow. He won. He beat the Freeze.

So congratulations once again, Billy. Jason, can I, How long did you train for that? Well, I didn't and I did it during the Superbowl. So it was very cold, but can I give you, can I? How long did you train for that? Well, I didn't, and I did it during the Super Bowl, so it was very cold, but can I give you a strategy? So this is what I did. For next time I race the freeze? Yeah, yeah, next time you race the freeze.

Hashtag content? Yeah, yeah, next time you race the freeze or you know anyone that does, maybe your sixth grade algebra teacher does and calls out to you and says, you're a baseball expert, how do I? That guy's gotta be dead, what? Anyways, so the next time you go.

He might be alive. Yeah, he might be. He might not be though. Next time be dead, what? Anyways, so the next time you go. He might be alive. Yeah, he might be. Next time you go, you race the freeze. This is what you do. So I was walking and I was trying to make it seem like I was having small talk with him the whole time. So I was like, how does this work? Like when you guys, you run, like what happens?

You just decide when you wanna go? They're like, no, no. We send them when they get to like the Miller Lite sign or whatever it is, right? So what I said was, okay, now I know where it is that he's gonna start running. So if I sprint out to the beginning, I'm gonna be gassed at the end.

What I need to do is just jog that, and I know I already have that distance, and as soon as he goes, that's when you go. So you just kinda pace yourself and you basically walk the beginning because you know you're gonna have like 50 meter lead or whatever, and then you turn it on. Tell that to Mr. Eggler, or whatever his name was.

Are you about to go on tour doing Ted Talks about how to beat the Freeze? I mean, qualified. He did beat him. And you surprised. I heard a wow out of you. You mock him, but I heard a wow when you saw that even though he stumbled over the finish line, and even though he got a face full of dirt, he beat the freeze. Am I allowed to say that I'm impressed though? I feel like Dan, like there's a, is it okay if he did good? If you were impressed, it is okay, yes.

You just can't take the bait on his questions that are meant to get you in trouble to do a show poorly. This is how I know Jason is now a friend of the show, because now you're in the same position all of us are on, which is how do I not anger Dan? Wait a sec like what do I do? Is it okay? Dan? Really you guys are trying not to anger me every single day I just want to anger Dan on my own accord

I don't want to step in a landmine that I didn't expect I want to choose to anger Dan Same note too. Can I run a home run call by you that maybe you could do secretly just to be friends with us? Yeah, it wouldn't be secret though because you do tend to have a microphone currently. Yeah, no, but we'll get it. It'll be like a little wink wink to us. So someone gets really gets a hold of one, right?

Are you familiar with Greg Cody? If not, it doesn't matter. So someone gets a ball. I do, yeah, I know Greg. Yeah, so as soon as a ball goes off, you go that kind of swing, that kind of thing. Wow. What do you think? This is the second home run call

I've had proposed to me this week. What was the first one? The first one, a friend of mine was reading the Barry Bonds home run ball case where it got taken away from the guy and there was a whole lawsuit and everything and in it the ball is described, you know how like lawsuits they use very flowery language

as intentionally abandoned property because the ball was hit and sent out of the ballpark. So he pitched to me that in like a nine one game I should just scream that ball's intentionally abandoned property. That's not only a good call, that's a good catchphrase, man. I think you should do it for every home run. You like it?

Yeah, yeah, cause then it sounds cool. Maybe we'll kick the tires out. People will think that's cool, man. Yeah, you're not kicking any tires. Or maybe sneak in an MR Ducks. Oh, Mr. Ducks. MR Ducks. Dukes, it's pronounced Dukes.

I wish I knew the rest of the poem, but I think probably I'm being mocked at this point. So we'll step aside. I told you not to listen to anything Billy was doing. I thought this went great. Yeah, I agree, but it takes some work. Some updates here. We got an MR Dux.

It's a bar and grill in Ocean City, Maryland. We got an MR Ducks, it's a bar and grill in Ocean City, Maryland. MR Ducks. No. So if I can get an NIL deal, I'm totally down. Do you have a signature home run call? I don't imagine that you would go with just one. I would imagine that you are a varied home run guy.

You're right, but if I can plumb the depths of your personality test on me why would you say that? I just think you would need creativity and any one thing would bore you that you wouldn't have you wouldn't want one thing to be limiting you as your home run call that you're an artist. Are we are we best friends now? Yes you you are correct. That is exactly right. I'm terrified. I want, we're not best friends yet because you don't take my instructions

on not listening to somebody who's actively trying to make you bad at your job. You can be best friends with him. If you wanna be best friends. No. No. Why does everyone say that? Jeremy, can we test this baseball expert today?

Now you have to understand, Jason Benetti really knows his stuff. But I would like you guys to test him with some Marlins names to see if he knows the Marlins, because I believe that we can stump even the experts with this lineup that the Marlins are throwing out there today. Let's begin with AJ Greer. Is he a Marlin? AJ Greer. How do you spell the last name?

G-R-E-E-R. We better not see you typing. He is actually a Florida Panther. Oh no. But close. Again, I will say again, this is no indictment on Jason Benetti. He really knows his stuff.

Here's why I went with yes, because I figured he was just called up. I didn't think it was a Marlin, but I didn't think you'd start with a non-Marlin. Okay, you need to either know or not know. You're not trying to win the game, right? With guesses. All right, I'll try to win the game.

From now on, I'm trying to win the game. I want the prize. Let's go. I'm an achiever. What about Nate Schmidt? Is he a Marlin? Nate Schmidt. No. You are correct. He is also a Florida Panther.

Let's go. What about Nico Sturm? Nico Sturm, no. He is also a Florida Panther. Yeah, yeah, John Van Beesbrook's not a Marlin either. What about Jonah Bride? Jonah Bride is absolutely a Marlin. You are correct, that is a Marlin.

Congratulations, Benetti. You're a winner, we salute you. You named a Marlin. Go ahead and name some more Marlins. Nick Fortes, Sandy Alcantara. Is AJ Puck still there? Probably not. No.

Brian De La Cruz. Nope. Right? He's long gone. What? Used to be. He became a pirate. Then he became brave now.

Listen, Benetti, you should not feel bad about this. He's long on. He became a pirate. Then he became brave now. Listen, Benetti, you should not, you should not feel bad about this. I, this is the most unrecognizable lineup that I have ever seen in this town. You don't remember Derek Hill? Played center field on opening day, Derek Hill? See, I can name that. I can tell you that they are Marlins because I did look at the roster like a week and a half ago because my former intern with the White Sox did get the Marlins radio job this offseason.

So I have looked at the Marlins roster and I can name them if you feed them to me. But yeah, no. Like Seth Jones. Stop it. That's a trap. No. He is a Florida Panther. Yeah, see? You get the game. Thank you, Benetti. We appreciate the time, sir. See ya. Weather is starting to warm up. Regular season's starting to wind down.

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