The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: David's Debacle

Episode Date: August 4, 2025

"Pirate life? Not for me!" David took the child of a friend on a tour of his home to tell him what he was not allowed to touch. Plus, the monkey bars, the self-checkout line, and Noah's ark enemy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Big Sui presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries. If they're just there, that hasn't happened to you guys. I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, Fat Face and the Habitual Liar. This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. I have no problem with people who mispronounce names because I am guilty of it. I have a... I can't do it. I had a word wrong yesterday, Greg.

Debacle. Apparently that's not how to pronounce debacle. Yeah, debacle. I I had a word wrong yesterday Greg debacle Apparently that's not how pronounced debacle debacle. I've been pronounced in debacle my whole life really and I don't get out of town I thought it was debacle. I thought it was element I can give you a top five words that I've learned through nothing personal that I've been pronouncing wrong my entire life and no One bothered to tell me you have it off the dome almond debacle life and no one bothered to tell me. You have it off the dome? Almond. Debacle. A lot of people pronounce it Almond just like Salmon it's a very Miami thing. Almond Joy. Almond Joy. Really? I don't see anything wrong with that. Debacle is

crazy I've never heard that. I've never heard debacle. How? Running the Marlins? It was always it was always just ao, which is why I thought it was going great. That's funny. Sovereign. That one's okay. That's understandable. I'm recently, and I'm not educated. You're a smart man.

I feel like I am. An otherwise smart man. Sovereign. Saying Defico. Sovereign. David, we have video or sound of you not being great with names. So the NBA president is Nika Ogumake.

That's a tough one. Yeah, to your defeat. Yeah, to your defeat. That's a tough one. Is Nika Ogumake. Do you know, Izzy, what goes on with Coca every day is in the rundown, I never actually know the spelling of people's names because he does it

in what should be a phonetic. Phonetically. Phonetically. That makes it harder for me. I don't know how people just read the phonetically spelled out one and be like, oh, okay, that makes sense. I spend like 30 seconds on it.

O-me-a-taka as an example. So it would be O-H and then M-E-E and then A and then T-A-K-A, and I'm supposed to read it Omiotaka. Nika Oguamake. Now is that wrong, as I sit here today? So I'm not gonna criticize that, how wrong is that, Roy, just beyond.

What is it? It's wrong, it's wrong, I don't know. Oh, so. He just knows it's wrong. So I'm willing to go out on a limb and try it, and you'll just stay quiet. That tracks. I'd rather try.

Now, Tua is a famous one. Yeah, how'd you do with that name the first time you tried it? I went Tua. Okay. But at Metal Arc, at CBS, at various other places, they didn't want us doing that. It's tricky, because there's an invisible N in there.

Yeah. Is it Tango-Vi-Lo-A? Not Tango-Vi-Lo-A. Almost like the tongue, Tango-Vi- Yeah. Is it Tangovaloa? Not Tangovaloa. Tangovaloa, almost like the tongue. Tangovaloa. Tangovaloa. Tangovaloa. We acknowledge it's hard,

and we're always looking to make fun of people who miss it, and Trump got it very wrong, and people then used it as confirmation bias, and I was bothered by that. Let's listen to how he bungled this name. And to Tag Ovalia, the quarterback who is really, he's been fantastic. He's been, when he's not injured, he's great.

He's gotta stay healthy, and he's a great guy. David, that's a trick. You just gotta sing your way through it. I thought he did great. Tag. Oh, Valia. Uh, I don't blame Trump for that. I blame the advisor who's supposed to 10 minutes before he says that explained to him, this is how you pronounce the.

Greg. Here's the thing. He got the little chunk from the advisor of like, Hey, when he's healthy, he's good if he's injured, you know, whatever he's got an injury history. So he nailed that. The problem is the name, you know, tag. Oh, you know. Tag Ovalia. I just don't want to make fun of that

because we could put a group, a tape together, my guess is our great video team at any time could put a tape together of names that I've butchered, that you've butchered. Right. It's part of the business. No, you're right. I mean, I probably went the first year

after he was drafted saying Tag Ovalia, you know, but eventually you learn that the way he pronounces it in the Samoan culture is Tongavoloa, and so you adapt. But as somebody who has a mispronounced last name, I think it's important to get a name right. I think that's a sign of disrespect or even insulting if somebody gets your name wrong. Now you have a last name, a name,

that's never ever mispronounced. So I don't think you can relate to that quite as much. I have misspelled. Yeah, people assume there's a P in it. So I very much get upset when people put a P in it, especially now that the internet's around. True, yes. So there's no, I view mispronunciation

and misspelling as two totally different things. Misspellings are inexcusable because you can go online and get the spelling any other Takeaways that you have from Trump and his look-away Avengers Council that he he formed for this Lawrence Taylor who has stuff a no contest with a 16 year old girl Triple H who was a part of WWE when Vince McMahon was doing his things and it kind of who was a part of WWE when Vince McMahon was doing his thing and it kind of boggles the mind as to how he didn't know something was up.

I read that Mariano Rivera is a part of this council as well. He has his name in a lawsuit involving children. So why Harrison Butker, who's just a kicker, that's his only offense, but it's still puzzling. Why does this administration seemingly go out of the way to normalize that kind of stuff, to put it very lightly? I think what the administration is actually trying to do is put together a group of athletes who are in favor of the administration and they may not be as hard to find as you think.

And then those who are willing to stand up and acknowledge that they're okay being part of the administration. So what you're having is people who support, you can't turn your back on the number of people who voted for Trump. It's not five million people. Hey, there are 80 million people who agree with what he's doing.

No, I understand that, but this is an optics thing. Lawrence Taylor even said, I don't know what we're doing, but I'm just here to help. If that's the bar, you can't find conservative leaning athletes like Kirk Cousins, for example, that have pretty spotless images, certainly compared to the baggage that I outline with Triple H, Lawrence Taylor, and Mariano Rivera.

You can't? Like, it just, it continues to send a message that stuff like that is okay when you continue to normalize it. And being on a presidential council that is, I mean, back in the day, supposed to be something that is bipartisan, you would think that stuff that is I mean back in the day supposed to be something that is bipartisan you would think that stuff that is in

Lawrence Taylor's past would be a disqualifier just because we're literally parading these people around to make speeches in front of a microphone don't you want squeaky clean people it seems to me that Trump's priority is having his own vanity glorified if I'm being honest, in my opinion. And Lawrence Taylor literally said the words, I'm here to serve you, Mr. President, or words to that effect. So this was a guy who was predisposed to be thrilled to be there, even though he also said, I'm really not sure why I'm here. It was just a whole cluster. You could be thrilled to be somewhere and not know why you're there.

Can you? I mean, just like Joe Biden for four years. You don't find out? He was thrilled to be there. In his mind, he was there for 15 years too. There's a little nugget about that that you may not know. I totally understand why you're saying this, Mike. I just don't view it as a consideration

that Trump was making, nor do I think he has to. You've got a selection of people who may not want to appear on the dais with him, I used to call it dais, that's the number one on the list. Like if they invited LeBron, LeBron would not have been part of this council. He wouldn't have come. Understood, but there are plenty of athletes

like Bryson DeChambeau who was there, that are known to be conservative leaning, and within one Google search on the first page are implicated in something terrible with children. There's plenty of people that have clean backgrounds that are conservative leanings that I think would, that you wouldn't have to have this discussion around. I'm sorry, did you think that there was a qualification

for being on this council to have had an issue with children? You're not making that bridge. Are you? No, but I'm saying why isn't it taken into account? Especially everything surrounding the the president right now as he moves the most infamous human trafficker to a minimum a living human trafficker to a minimum security prison Club fed in Texas I feel like you keep sending these subtle messages and in Maxwell's case a not so subtle message that the person that was held up by the right as being a champion

against these sort of things turns out to be quite okay with it, will reward them with positions in the administration, will move you to a minimum security federal prison. Well Trump too has been rewarded. In the middle of a campaign he says of neo-nazis there are good people on both sides nobody seems to care or not enough people seem to care. I thought they flooded us. That was during his first administration we were so far removed from that stuff and that was his huge first scandal but now something seemingly happens every day. They're not scandals anymore. No, no. So hyper normalization. Yeah I mean Lawrence Taylor being there was a blip, right?

Nobody seems to care. I don't mind It's also a commission for bringing back the presidential physical fitness test like this is a stupid thing Stupid people like I took that very seriously And I think it went away because not everybody got a patch. The pulls were hard, let's be honest. All the things going on, this is the least serious and important thing. Climb that was coded, I got like a red patch,

which I think was not as good as the navy blue patch. You wanted the navy blue patch. What about the yellow one? That was bad. Yeah, you don't want yellow. Yellow's bad. Yellow's bad, yeah. I can't believe that I had the hardest time.

It was a big thing and I was a small kid I couldn't climb the rope free climb a rope and They they they'd hang a rope from the ceiling in my elementary school and there'd be bigger kids who were able to grab it And climb themselves up and that was always part of the physical fitness test and I just I couldn't do it Yeah, I remember those tests as well. I was very weak Maybe I'm still weak. Do you guys remember Izzy? I figure you were great at do it. Yeah, I remember those tests as well. I was very weak. Maybe I'm still weak. Do you guys remember? I figure you were great at that stuff.

Who was the president? I was the third fastest child in my elementary school. Really? Yellow. We used to have races all the time. It was always, actually fourth. So Izzy, you participated in the presidential challenge? Yeah, yeah.

You didn't have a choice. No, you had to. You made you do it. Yeah, you had to. Yeah, and it made you do it. What are the three faster kids up to nowadays? One of them got a scholarship to Wyoming and played wide receiver out there.

Didn't make it to the league though. And the other two are, you know, just around. Craig, when you were doing this under Taft's administration, what were the physical challenges that you had to complete? I remember, and I could be wrong, maybe I'm misassociating this with other stuff in phys ed, but I remember the monkey bar thing where you'd be off the ground doing this and moving forward on a.

No, 100%, monkey bars back in the day was part of it. Really? Why do you just lose the ability to do that? Like little kids can do monkey bars so easily, but as an adult. Because it'll weigh anything. Not even gross. It's your hands, your hands get a little weaker, a little bit more fragile.

I found the monkey bar easy because you just use your forward weight. It's a momentum thing, right? Your weight takes you to the next bar. As I recall. Did you actually go from one bar to the next to the next? You never had the hand catch up? I was always the catch up guy.

Oh no, you don't wanna do that. I couldn't swing. Crown's catch up. Really? Who can swing? I sw up. I was always the catch up guy. Oh no, you don't wanna do that. I couldn't swing. France catch up. Really? Who can swing? I swung. I highly doubt it. I highly doubt it.

I can do it now. Monkey bar catching. You can do it now! A monkey bar's not that difficult. If we had what I would give for monkey bars in this studio, there's not one chance you could go from bar one to bar three with one hand while the other hand is bar two. I didn't say I skipped a bar.

Well no, that's not skipping a bar. I went from bar to bar. That's, well when you go bar to bar, that means your left hand skips a bar and goes to the next bar while your right hand is in the middle. I've done that, yeah. You're telling me that I have no love in a room full of hate.

I think that's a standard way to do it is how he would do it. You'd do one and then the other and then you swing. But David's point is right, you're going one to three with the same hand. No, but okay, Greg's confused. Greg thinks that you're saying that he's skipping bars in the middle.

What David does is David goes one hand, then the other hand on the same bar, then the other hand, then the other hand. No. I think yours is more of the common form to do it. I agree, it's more common, but I'm also saying he can't do it now Well look there's a lot of things on this show that Greg has claimed he can do this is the only one I believe Why would you believe he can still do that?

Yeah Thousand percent why would you believe that? Because it's not that hard and it's only 70 years old How many people here do you think could do that? Um, well not you, you just said it Hold on are we just talking three bars? 70 years old. Not that old. How many people here do you think could do that? Not you, you just said it. Hold on, are we just talking three bars? Or five of us. How many bars?

I mean, what's standard? Is it like a dozen? Let's say it's 12. I think it's about a dozen. 10 or 12. You think that four out of this group of people can do 12 bars on the monkey bar? I think five out of seven of us can do it.

I'll come right out and say, I cannot do that. You were a collegiate poll vaulter. You could absolutely do that. I know, but I live in reality now, and I know me now can't do that. You're not even pulling yourself up that much. You're just deep-diving bars. Well, you don't need that much momentum.

It's not like they're that far away. You guys are misremembering what it takes. Go down. They have these bars. It's one of the things that the budgets have done when they didn't do stadium Financing is they added like little parks where you can work out Yeah, and they so it's public and so there's hands everywhere, but there are monkey bars right on South Beach

Yeah, so we could all go to South Beach and we could Shirtless do the monkey bars and I'm telling you now talking that Izzy in my opinion with Mike and Tony as a possible two and three That's it Sleep isn't just rest its survival Especially when your alarm clock is a 5 a.m. Text from Dan you need more than just a bed You need one that adapts to you. That's why a sleep number smartbed is a total game changer You control your side, softer, firmer, cooler, warmer, whatever helps you sleep at night. And it doesn't stop when you doze off.

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additional terms and responsible gaming resources see DKNG.co slash audio Don LeBotard Tatas Stugats Tatas this is the Don LeBotard show with the Stugats I think all of us could do 12. I I'm telling you now that I 12 what consecutive 12 in a row just like 12 a dozen monkey bar a handle You know what the issue is for me is that I've always been so long that my feet drag And you're having on them and I can't exactly and I'm a big guy. I am it's hard It's easier when you're lighter to be able to do the monkey bar. That's the same way with pull-ups

That's why like American Ninja Warriors so hard you look at these guys and you're like, oh my god This guy's like a six foot four Adonis This person's gonna be like great at this, and then they get, and it's like, oh no, you have to have all of your weight on like, your four fingers, you can't do it. That's quite the leap, monkey bars to American Ninja Warrior. It's the same thing.

It's on the road. Greg knows this, right? On the first one, Greg, you just let the weight take you and you just start the momentum, you just gotta grab the bar and don't be afraid. Let your weight continue to take you. Exactly. It's a rhythmic thing.

What's my motivation? What's underneath me? To not fall. Piranhas. Okay, but is it fire? Is it lava? Sand. Sand on your shoes.

I can do two and then I'm down, I'm in the sand. I don't know, my shoes are banned. What if it's a lake full of piranhas? Then we're talking. If I have the proper motivation to not die, I could do better you yeah Alligators, oh, that's a good one. I mean I could pull the old Peter Pan and run across the tops of the alligators You know what I mean?

Very good point billy same outfit you right I missed those challenges Why would Peter Pan do that? I think it was Captain Hook or Shmee that did I don't think Peter Pan actually he's got the power of Flight why would even I think it was Captain Hook or Shmee that did I don't think Peter Pan actually he's got the power of flight Why would even I think it's me captain captain? Yeah, well captain hook notoriously lost a battle with the crocodile. Yeah captain hook was very good at like I lost his hand and balancing between the two jaws that were trying to close on him That's right like Jean-Claude Van Damme if I was on Captain Hook's boat And I see a captain that lost a battle with an alligator, I think I'd try him. I think I'd say, this is my ship. You'd be, I think I'd give it a go.

I think I'd see what we could do here, you know? Pirate life, not for me. I'll just say that right now. I don't think I'd be a good pirate. So if I'm gonna be a pirate, and I know that I'm gonna be living with, you know, like famine and scurvy and whatever, I wanna be the captain scurvy is what I wanna be called. You know what I mean? I don't wanna be like some underling on some pirate ship getting scurvy and whatever. I wanna be the Captain Scurvy is what I wanna be called.

You know what I mean? I don't wanna be like some underling on some pirate ship getting scurvy. I'd go try this captain. And if I die, I'd die, but it's better than living a life full of scurvy and servitude, you know? That's right.

Yeah, but you get to the other side and you get the treasure. The whole purpose of being the pirate scurvy is that you get what you steal. Oh, they got a share? They didn't get that. They got a share. Not a good share.

It's a small share. Don't get me wrong, you always want to be the boss. Boss gets the most share. Oh, I know. I think out of everything you guys know that. Don't we know it? Captain Hook would also be a good addition to the presidential council, not just because he's ideologically aligned, but that dude hates kids.

On the balance of things, you can be like, okay, well, these guys are the guy that got the credit, but Captain Hook hates kids. I don't like kids either, but that doesn't mean I have an issue with them in terms of what you're describing. Hmm, clear, clarify that. You don't like kids, but you don't have an issue with them. What do you mean?

Well, what Mike had been describing are legal issues that people had with kids. Oh. Zagack. Ah, I don't have that. Okay. I just generally don't enjoy kids I had a kid at my house this week I believe you left your house you left the kid alone in your house

No, the kid had parents. Okay, parents came with the kid and that was not allowed because there's no pets No kids allowed at my house and they showed up with the kid. How'd this happen? I he's got like a rule book It's like no pets. No, I know but I'll touch this why the kid Why was there a kid in your house? There was some issue that all of a sudden, no babysitter, no this, no that. There's a kid there. What's the age limit on that rule of yours? Bar mitzvah. Oh, so they can be 14?

Yeah. They can be 14. Okay. 14's not a kid. To me it is. That's, no. No, you're responsible at 14 to not touch stuff. Really? Have you been 14?

I have, and I've had 14. I've had three 14 year olds. They're messy. No. But they're responsible. Okay. Aren't you worried about the mess though? Or is that something you can clean

so you're not too worried about it? I came to Florida. That's how upset I was. So you just abandoned your house? I left. Is the kid still there? Yes. Eminent domain?

No. Squatter? You lose your house now? Years for that. No, no, years. I don't know, it changed a lot. Eminent domain is when you, eminent domain, if you guys want to do that in your own homes if you own You can put a fence and it's not really eminent domain It's called adverse possession

But you can put a fence not on your property line And if your neighbor doesn't say anything after a period of years you've adversely possessed that property You can then go to the town and you can redraw your property and that land is yours. What if you live in a condo? Little no house. Go to like the living room of the next person. Wait, I can put a fence around my neighbor's house? You can put a fence around more than your property.

Fence in your property that's larger than your property. If the owner of the other property does not say anything and it goes on for a period of years, then you've adversely possessed that land and it becomes your land. But it has to be connected to my land. Like I can't just go to the beach and like make a sandcastle, like this is my beach now. If you lived there and you put a environment around it,

you could, not if it's federally owned or state owned, but if it's somebody else's property, you'd then possess it. I don't like that. And you think that would withstand a legal challenge? That's the whole point of that's whatever possession is. not if it's federally owned or state owned, but if it's somebody else's property, you'd then possess it. I don't like that. Really? And you think that would withstand a legal challenge? That's the whole point of that's whatever's possession is. Wow. So that's the legal concept.

So what if you get home and there's just like boogers everywhere, this kid just like made his own booger fence around your house. Like what are you gonna do? I know that you, I mean, you ran away just with the kid being in the house. Those can get washed away. It has to be a permanent structure that shows the delineation of the property.

I meant more so like this person, this little child has done such foul things in your home that you don't want to get back into your home and you've been away so long that then the child claims a home to be his or hers. It would not happen in my situation. I appreciate what you're trying to protect against. This one was just more like I had a written list of rules.

What rooms you can go into, what rooms you can't, what you can touch, what you can't. And I just, I swallowed hard, and I went to my room a lot, and I closed the door, and I put headphones on quite a bit. It sounds less like- Does the kid get those rules? Sounds like you were grounded in your own house. But I don't mind being in my room, I was totally fine.

I've got everything I need. Do you think about now inviting these people over again? How has this impacted this friendship? We had a conversation. Did you? Yeah, of course. Do you think about now like inviting these people over again? Like how has this impacted this friendship? We had a conversation. Did you? Yeah, of course. Did you bring it up? You say we have to talk. You can't just bring the key, you can't just bring,

when you get invited to a house with your friend, do you show up with another couple? If you get invited. I don't know what kind of part of this is. No, definitely not. It's just the people that were invited, but I'd like to know how that conversation went because at some point you definitely insulted

Their kid no no the kids super cute I just said this isn't a house for kids, and I didn't know you're bringing a kid and they were okay with it They were like oh, I totally understand that Hmm they were just saying that I wasn't rude It sounds less like they're friends and more you're just renting out your place. I would never well. You know me better I would never rent out my place I think next time you invite these people over, you have to leave out knives and stuff,

and just make sure that it's very not kid-friendly. It's not a kid-friendly house. Yeah, I would imagine. At all. What if the kid being brought into, or walking into your house, is two weeks until his bar mitzvah? Like he's almost there, but not quite. Then I have to do a behavioral evaluation.

Yeah, okay. Before the kid comes over? A background check. Did you know the kid was coming or they surprised you with the kid? It was basically a surprise. Which was suboptimal. Does that kid get the PDF of your rules

or do the parents get the PDF and then they look at it and then they delineate to the kid? Parents do, but I did take the kid on a tour to show what you can touch what you can't touch wow what's something that he can't touch uh the world series trophy do you have a printed out list or you have like a qr code when you walk in that you scan and then people's like the no i don't know how to do a qr code oh we can show you coca does that a lot i don't know how to do it. And are they ever going to run out of unique QR codes? Or is it infinity? It's infinite.

It is infinity? I don't think anything is infinity, but I guess QR codes are. It's like snowflakes. They all look alike, too. But they're all, the dashes are a little different, I guess. It's crazy. It's insane. It's weird that Major League Baseball is now doing a diamond instead of the actual square. They flipped it. They inverted it.

I saw it on a commercial. That's smart. Did you see it as part of the Speedway game? No, it was just a commercial on MOB Network. Have you ever planned something that you want to go so well, and then it just rains and everything gets ruined? Yeah. I wanted to ask you about the Speedway game, because I wanted to see Bristol Motor Speedway

and the baseball game attached to it. And I thought it was just one game. It was on, I left my TV on at night and the next day I turned on Fox and they were still playing. Same game, it got suspended. It got suspended. So I saw a lot of David Ortiz going out and serving people beers and whatnot and then I read an article later in the evening that people were describing this as Major League Baseball's fire fest So what happened isn't that terrible apparently can you imagine running a facility and running out of hot dogs? I mean you have to get total jackass to do that nobody does that yeah, right?

They don't and then you look at that not one what you what year was that what opening day was I believe that was? First ever opening day. It's it believe that was 2002. It felt like all of that. My first ever opening day in Florida. It's crazy how like... There was zero... Were you running to Publix like buying a shopping cart full of hot dogs, bringing it back to the stadium? There we were there. We just were reallocating hot dogs for the following day,

trying to get them back on the ground. Wait, what? You were just withholding hot dogs so you have enough for the next day? So the way it works is you have an idea of the crowd and then you allocate a certain amount of food and buns and popcorn and everything else, peanuts, bags of peanuts,

and that is what is used for that day. And if it runs out, you have a problem because you haven't prepped the other food, you haven't made pop the popcorn. Popcorn comes delivered in a huge baggie to the stadium. How is it that there so often seem to be issues, especially opening day, it always seems like the lines at concessions are way too long,

and sporting events are a thing where you have sold tickets, and I would imagine the walk-up is not that great, so how is it that there always seems to be staffing issues where there's things closed or maybe it's new staff and they're not as the trade really? Yeah. It's the training. So think about it. If we only open a concession stand on the upper deck three times a year, the people who are manning those concession stands aren't properly trained. They don't have the reps.

It's like someone coming in here and doing a show once every four months, they're not gonna be as sharp as if they're doing it every day. And so, therefore, the lines, it's just not as quick. Don Lebatard. You owe me everything. You owe me everything. You have added 10 years, Mike Gerber. Yes, I have.

This man has. You haven't. That man, let me tell you. Who the hell are you? Stugats. I am. Who the hell are you? Let me tell you. Stugatz. I am. Who the hell are you?

Who the hell are you? Should be thanking. Bullshit. Me. You're a rude young man. Me. You're a fool. You're a fool.

I already called you a fool. You can't call me. You're an idiot again. It's a fool-off. You're an idiot twice. You're an idiot for dismissing how much I've helped you. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats! As a former retail employee in cashier...

You're a great fellow, I've heard. Thanks. As a former cashier in retail, I do kind of both like and hate the self checkout because the self checkout at like a Target or whatever, you should be quick, right? And it's you're doing yourself just scan, scan, scan, just get out of there.

The number of people that struggle at self checkout seems crazy to me. Like I can't understand the difficulty that so many people seem to have with self-checkout. But as someone who again, like did that in an earlier part of my life, I do kind of sit back and smile at the people who are struggling because those people often

were quite condescending, like oh, anyone can do this. It's like, no, you can't. Like you can't figure out how to scan four items at Target. You have to call someone over. You're holding up this entire line. It's not the easiest thing in the world. I mean, sometimes. It's super easy.

If you take the bars, put it on the thing, and go. Also, I don't need you to have 77 things in your cart. If you've got 800 things in your cart, don't use the self-checkout. I was in an express lane. Go use somebody else that's a human to do it for you. Two days ago with one item, and the person in front of me had way more than 10.

I didn't say anything. Is it items or if you buy six peanut butters, of is that one item? That's six items. That's every time you got a scan. Scan the same one six times. This is a Dan thinking that he does, and it's basically like if I have a million

of the same thing, I'm Dan Lebeder. It's a ruling class thing. But Billy and Tony actually, the produce, when you've got produce and it doesn't have something to scan You gotta find item and then you know exactly what it is Avocado But how do I remember if this is an organic yellow onion or just a sweet yellow onion? I don't know Are you organic and then charge yourself for the non-organic?

Figure it out Put it on a scale My friend does that, not me What am I, weighing a pound of grapes? What am I doing? I hate the self-checkout. It's really something that should be banned from American retail and global retail for that matter. Because you want the people to have jobs.

Yes. Nah, Greg. I look out for the common man. Greg looks like someone that wants to just talk to a Dolores, you know, at a checkout. Yeah, like, just, how's it going? See how that dates. Have you guys ever been to those like-

Because it says Dolores. Exactly right. You See how that you guys ever been to those like Dolores exactly right? You're a union guy Guy where you can just throw everything in a basket and it just brings it up for you You don't even have to scan it. Just put it in a box and then all of a sudden boom. There's your total I've never heard that you hadn't bent that is he yeah, sorry I know I saw it in London I checked out and one of those things in London at Azara Yeah, that's it in London. I checked out in one of those things in London at Azara. Yeah, that's Azara. Oh, Azara has that.

Yeah. You put it on the table and it knows exactly what you're doing. Even if it's bundled up, they still know. Yeah, how? What is that technology? How do they do that? We should ask Azara. It's infrared scans.

Is the only thing I can think of is that they're scanning the tags. Every one thing has a tag. And the reason why I don't like self-checkout is not because I'm old. It's because of what Tony said. I have a hard time separating which item is which. And so I'm not, I don't want to lie about organic

versus not organic or wait something wrong or make any mistakes. So I always wait to check out with a real person. Because that's always an option. It is, and I prefer that. You know. But you can do it, just wait on that line. I know.

Yeah. But if you've got like two things, Greg. Like you go to a, just wait on that line. I know. Yeah. But if you got like two things, Greg. Like you go to Publix, you get a PubSub, you get a bag of chips and a drink and all of a sudden, like I don't need to sit in line waiting for somebody who just did a month's worth of groceries and I have to sit behind them. Boom, scan, do do do. I enjoy sitting in line. They've gotten rid of the express lanes in Publix. I enjoy the line. They've moved in with the self-checkout and taking out Express lanes I only don't enjoy the line if the people are using You know coupons and and other than check paying with a check, you know things like that There's no way people pay with a check in the class

I was behind a check payer in public no way a month ago less than a month ago customer service for that man I'm telling them tell her not made the cashier be like, all right, what do you want me to do with this? A lady's trying to get a coupon through that had just expired, okay? It's for like 15 cents off something. I'm like, I wanna pay this 15 cents so that we can move along. Did you?

The checkout young lady said I couldn't, whatever. Really? Yeah. You'd ask the cashier I'd like to pay for the 15 cents? If you won't take that coupon, I will pay the 15. If I had, I don't have change, otherwise I'm giving her a nickel and a dime just to get rid of her.

What's your limit? How far would you have gone with that? A buck and a half. Yeah, okay. Depends on what hurry I'm in. All right. I've done that. Yeah, yeah.

Have you really? I've paid for something for a person in front of me online when I thought that there was a possibility of a multi-minute delay. Right. And I didn't find the juice worth the squeeze for whatever it was. I've done it at restaurants.

I've done it at stores. Really? When someone is out buying, if I've got a huge thing and I'm in a rush. So if I've been instructed by my wife to bring back eggs and to bring back something that we forgot for the kids and I had to go grocery shopping with a list. And then there's someone in front of me

who's fumbling and bumbling. And I've got a kid who needs to eat. That was an example of the time that I would always do that where I would buy the groceries. Hey, I'll take care of that, no problem. And then it just adds to mine. They take the groceries and they get to leave. Perfect, and did they show appropriate gratitude?

Didn't care. I don't do it for the gratitude, I do it for the time savings. But you wanna thank you. I don't need it. Really? See, if I do that and I don't get a thank you, I'm following that guy out to the parking lot.

Saying, what's the matter with you? I just paid for your groceries, I don't get a wink and a nod, what's going on? I don't need a wink or a nod. Yeah, going on? I don't need a wink or a nod. Yeah, I'll scratch his car as he's driving away. That kind of thing. Yes, exactly. Well put, Tony.

Are you like a bunny boiler? I don't know what that means. You boil bunnies like Glenn Close? You've never heard of a bunny boiler? No, what does that mean? I'm feeling very old. Fatal attraction? I've never heard the phrase bunny boiler,

but I knew what you meant when you said it a bunny boiler is is it started with Glenn close was a bunny boiler Meaning you got to be careful you have an affair with because if you do with someone who boils and archers bunny You've chosen the wrong girl. That's fatal attraction Okay, but it refers to now in what I thought was common parlance when somebody who will do something a little that's a little cuckoo, that's a bunny boiler. Okay, I had never heard that phrase before today. Scratching someone's car is cuckoo. I was kidding, I would never scratch someone's car. Well, you just said you would.

Well, that was for dramatic effect. Push a carton to the corner. Well, that I won't do, yeah, accidentally. Greg, you said earlier a while ago that I think it was Billy Corbin is your mortal enemy Do you have a number of mortal enemies because I know that you and hide don't get along and it seems like why do you? Bricker to breakers. Yeah, you never really do Bricker was Dominique Foxworth. That's my mortal. He used to be but now we're besties. Oh, yeah

What yeah, Dominique and I are besties now. Oh, good job. So you're down to one mortal enemy then, Corbin? Corbin, mostly on his side. I could give a shit about him. Uh, Bricker back in the day, Dave Hyde has never been my mortal enemy. Zasla was a bit of a mortal enemy with you. Yeah.

He used to be, we're softening a little bit. I heard on the Greg Cody Show episode that Hulk Hogan was one of your mortal enemies. There was an episode that made me not lament his passing as much as I otherwise would have. But yeah. What'd he do to you? I mean, he just, I was in his company once

in a work setting, and I asked for a minute of his time. And when you say, hey hey can I have a minute the it's never just a minute it's never just a minute but also it implies hey can I get you off the side just you and I just alone for one or two minutes and he just completely blew me off and so you know when you do that you're welcome to but I don't you I give up on you nemesis yeah did he call your brother or no I don't recall this was What is a mortal enemy

What does that literally mean to the death kill that person to the death? Yeah, I think that that means no That means you'll be the enemy until you die or they die until somebody dies somebody's dead Was part so I always thought that it's a mortal enemy was an adjective for a really bad enemy. It sounds like it That's the way I use it. It's a time issue though. It's not a how bad an enemy are we. It's also arch enemy. Don't ask me the difference.

No, I think that Greg has different arch enemies and moral enemies. Mortal? Yeah. Yeah, but Hyde's never been one. No? No. Arch enemy?

No. Watch rival? He's a friendly rival. A frenemy. A frenemy, yes. He's a friendly rival. A frenemy. A frenemy. He's a frenemy. Whatever. That is what Dan does, Dan.

I'm so upset right now. In fact, you miss an opportunity to say, are we still making Doloreses? Yeah, Dan. In honor of Dan. I don't want to be that. I don't want to be that. But what's wrong with wanting to know the difference between arch and mortal? Is it arc? It's arc. I do that one wrong too. Yeah, I thought it was an arc enemy. No

Noah's arc Noah's arc enemy. ARCH the st. Louis arc. Arc Manning. Is it the st. Louis arch? It's the arch Arch Manning. I think it's an arc. No it isn't. No famously not. It's a boat. Noah's Ark. Do you think they call the McDonald's the Golden Arks? McDonald's. That's McDonald's. You're all talking at once. Golden Arks sounds like Maxchin, if I've ever heard it. The Golden Arches. Arches. Right.

Yeah, more than one. They've got the Golden Arches. We've got the Golden Arks. Right. OK. Our buns have no seeds. When you ran out of hot dogs on opening day, did you consider that a debacle? A debacle.

Yeah, it sure was. It was so bad. We didn't actually run the hot dogs. It was you and the media who was promulgating such mistruths, which, mate, because you were so despondent, oh, these guys from Montreal, they're so cheap. Mistruths.

Mistruths. Oh, all right, I thought you mispronounced mistrust. You did run out. Did we run pro player? I'm just going to ask for the final time. Did the Marlins run pro player? I don't know what that means. What do you mean?

Concessions? Yes. Were we in charge of concessions? It doesn't matter. You're the Marlins. I'm going to a Marlins game. I want to buy a hot dog in the sixth inning. You can't sell it to me. The Dolphins? It doesn't matter, you're the Marlins. I'm going to a Marlins game. I want to buy a hot dog in the sixth inning. You can't sell it to me.

The Dolphins were in charge. And you never blame the Dolphins. With all due respect, David, if I go to a Marlins game and they're playing a baseball game and I go to concessions and there are no hot dogs, I'm not going to say, damn it, Dolphins! Thank you. What if you go to a friend's house and they're renting and the air conditioning doesn't work?

Are you mad at the friends? Yes. Are you mad at the landlord? I'm mad at the friend. I don't think that's anywhere near the same thing. I do. I do too. Sometimes you have to be mad at the boss, at the owner, and not the renter.

So the Marlins were not responsible for making sure there were enough on the line. We had no firing, we had no control over anything. We just said, hey, we're gonna have 30,000 people, get on it. It's like the Bristol Speedway. They knew they'd have 90,000 people. Why'd they run out of food?

So who's at fault? Name that name. Who with the Dolphins at that time was at fault? Bruce Schulze. Get him on the phone. By the way, I've known him forever. And he ran it. And they ran out of hot dogs.

It wasn't me. Okay. Bruce, you're out there. You listen to this show. He used to. I don't know if he still does. Hmm. There's been some sort of dilapidation of audience, which is now coming back, and I don't know where Bruce falls on that scale

But he's no longer with the Dolphins what shows you up to have no idea Oh, is that a name that none of you have ever heard no? Yeah, he was a big-time Tony you're too young But he was a big-time guy in the early 2000s at the Dolphins, back when they were winning playoff games. Yeah, that is a long time ago. It's so long ago. Quarter of a century ago. When Noah was born.

I promise I wouldn't get down to that, even though it did come up yesterday at Marlins games, because what I do to fans is sometimes I talk about, hey, we're better than the Dolphins, aren't we? Because that was always a thing that was told to me when I moved to Miami, that the Dolphins are, number one, you'll never catch them. The Marlins have been way more successful in the dolphins since I got here and it's not even close Yeah, what's the DPP on when you go to a game dog per person?

What do you guys staff as far as a good question? How many people how many can set how many dogs per person? Yeah, how many they're gonna eat? No, no just how cuz you're saying I've we've got 20,000 people to go into the game today What's the DPP? How many do you know you only need to prepare like 5,000 hot dogs? Oh really so it's not it's not even one DPP. No who's gonna you think everyone's eating a hot dog? That's before the 99 challenge more than a beer though DPP a lot of drinking especially in Florida Lot of beer not a lot of dogs That's why we did bark in the park actually because we wanted more dogs DPPs people don't eat and we didn't run out