The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: David's Gift (feat. David Samson)

Episode Date: October 16, 2025

"The wind makes you cry." Before the hour started, Dan heard Billy, Chris, Mike, and Jeremy discussing a thoughtful gift David gave to each of them, so, of course, he decided to ruin it in the most uncomfortable way possible. Also, Zas's got a Benjamin Buttons thing goin' on. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Traff Kings, the crown is yours. David Samson somehow, and I don't really understand how he's doing this, and I'm about to ask him why he's doing this. it continues to trudge through and do nothing personal every day because he has a special relationship with his audience. He appreciates his audience. I assume that's a big part of the answer. But what he's going through at home is true horror. And I won't delve into too many of the details here. You can catch up on nothing personal if you want to know. But one of the details I did want to ask him about is someone who cares about him and knows about him because he's

got a sick child, uh, daughter in the hospital is he seems particularly ill-equipped to be trapped in a hospital as someone who likes his control and, you know, he's a bit of a control freak. And he's in a situation that leaves him pretty powerless. So David, thank you for joining us. And before we get to the sports of the day, uh, why are you still working at a time that it must be very, very hard to work? Well, I'm only doing three shows this week. And I did, uh, I took two weeks after this happened and I wanted to get back because I missed the audience, I missed the feeling of trying to be normal,

of trying to control stuff. And the thing about having someone who's sick with my daughter is that I can't plan anything. So during today's this morning show, two things have happened is that an appointment, doctors don't care about my schedule. When an appointment changes,

like in the middle of a live show, sometimes I just have to go. because I don't get asked to for whether are you free on this day at this time there's no it's not mutual at all and then you wait 45 minutes so what I'm what what I'm trying to say is that we had a 940 today and it's not 940 or whatever time you're listening to this and I get a lovely text saying hey sorry are you okay 15 minutes late Cody couldn't get himself together

and I can't stay long today because I was supposed to be gone but then it changed that's Greg Cody's fault it's all that's all Greg Cody's fault it's very low on your list of problems and complaints at the moment but blame Cody no I just don't understand if you told Cody I didn't know

I spoke to Billy last night if I could say that Billy and you cannot And I was happy to talk to you and thankful. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that. I don't know what I'm allowed to say anymore. Well, David doesn't know how to be a human being, and I'm going to betray him now by expressing one of the ways that he tries to be a human being but fails while. You cannot express that either.

No, I'm going to. No rules for anyone. I have to now. Where's this lying button? All of you guys, all of you guys were deeply touched that David sent you a gift until you started talking and realized he had. sent you all the same gift and and then roy realized that he hadn't gotten the same gift that you guys got and so what was a very thoughtful gesture by david ends up in disaster still actively is i did not want to do this very very nice and we all said don't do it on air there's a place on my wall

waiting for that i yes let me tell you how offended i am right dan that that's just now that's just wrong what you're doing that's just wrong what was the gift. One of the coolest things I've ever received. Absolutely. Genuantly. If you can't figure out why certain people in the company got that specific gift, and Roy, if you're listening, it wasn't a Panthers gift. It was a Marlins-related gift. He loves baseball. I know that about him. He's the only one here who hit a home run at the old Marlins Park. I saw it went right over my head. It was very impressive. Metal bat. Dan, that, listen, if you guys are really pissed, then I have nothing to say to any of you.

Like, if that's really how you feel, then. I didn't say they were pissed. No, I, whoa, I didn't say they were pissed. I said that they, I said they were touched, they were all touched, and then they started talking, and they realized they got in the same gift, and then Roy realized he hadn't gotten a gift because they all talked about how thoughtful your gift was. That's how it happened. I'm not saying that they were pissed.

They were not pissed. They all thought it was thoughtful, so thoughtful, that they mentioned what a great gift it was. And that's how the cat left the previously aforementioned bag. I didn't mention it at all. Were all the notes the same? Well, we didn't compare notes. I kept it to myself because I assumed you sent me a nice personal gift. And then just a couple of minutes ago, when the three of them were talking about a gift they received, my heart sank.

I only didn't tell Billy just because I was like, wow, Billy would love this more than anyone. Okay. So if you must know. No, and this is a bit of a spoiler alert for upcoming episode of Mystery Crate. Yesterday we were talking on Mystery Crate, and I was saying how, like, you know, just how kind of this happened in a timeline, whatever. And I was like, you know, and I had a conversation with Dan last Monday. It was like a really emotional day. Go on.

Whatever. And then I get home and I see this giant box on my doorstep and it's from David Sampson and how like it was such an emotional day. And like forever, I'll remember that the day that I came in and had this conversation and said, I'm going to be leaving whatever. I opened this really thoughtful gift from David Samson with this nice note, whatever. And then Chris was like, got the same gift. And I was like, whoa. Like, what happened here? I had this memory.

I was like, what a sweet man. He sent me this thing. It's a difficult time, obviously, for him as well. And I'm never going to forget that on this hard day for me, it ended with this very thoughtful gift. And then he's like, no, it's thoughtful. I got one too. And then Jeremy's like, me too. It's not any less sweet to me.

I'm telling you. The note made me cry. It did. I mean, that. Let me tell you, guys, it's, it's so. I also, David was wondering, the wind makes you cry. We were talking and I was also wondering, David, I said, you know what, is this, is this David potentially showing in my face you weren't at this game and you will never have

been at this game? I'm sending you this lineup card so you never forget what I did to you, you son of a so I'll give you the background because now you've done it, Dan, and it's so wildly inappropriate of you, but that's your choice. it's your show it's your name on the show i'm happy for you it's really nice so the background is that i was lucky enough to be at each row's game in 2016 when he hit his 3,000 pit in colorado and i had the foresight at the time to get lineup cards from that game and have them done and authenticated as the lineup cards from the game and i asked don maddingly and manager sign lineup cards

and I asked each row to sign the lineup card because he started that game. And it had been a big thing. Would he play that day and get his 3,000thead on the road or not? Then I got game tickets from that day and I asked each row to sign those. And I had them for 10 years.

This happened in 16, 9 years. And I said after my daughter got sick, I started trying to control those things I could control. So I started doing things that I had not done, one of which was to get these framed and it was no small thing. I got them framed and I had a certain number of them and I had to make decisions on who would get them. And now if you want to feel badly enough, I will tell you,

well, I'm not even. Go on. No. Okay. I will. When you go through and you make a list of who you think would enjoy it, who it would be meaningful to. And I had allocated in my head

that it would be for all every my my three children would get one and people i've worked with who have a relationship with baseball or with each row including someone else in our company who got one dan and and i i forgot about a name and so i took one away from my sick daughter thinking A, she doesn't like baseball B, will she not even know if she doesn't have one? That's a cheap trick he just played on us. Because I didn't want

Now what? It's all of the names. It's an elaborate dance. It's an elaborate dance he just did to show that. This is what now. You must feel like a real asshole, Dan. This is what he just did. He just checkmated me because he made his list. He makes a lot of little lists. He made

his list and Roy wasn't on it. And look at how he just did it. This is why he's the negotiator that he is, that was sophisticated what he just did to me. It was very good. It was very well done. Fine. I put my sword down. That's the reason you didn't get Roy won. So that's it. Thank you. I'm not giving me. Anything else you want to talk about today? Roy can have mine now that the emotional aspect of this has been so diluted. I will say this. Like, it was a replica. And at the time, at the time, I was like, okay. It's authentically signed. No, it is signed. I'm saying it wasn't the one that was in the dugout. It doesn't matter. None of that

matters. How do you know they weren't plastered all over the dugout and maybe there were. It would be funny if it was like wallpaper on the dugout that day. Billy is right. It doesn't matter. No, it doesn't matter. I will say this though because they do like they do sell replicas of this thing. But these are not the replicas that they sell. These are like handmarked by Don Mattingly with all of the changes in the game. So whether or not it's the one that was in the dugout in the day. It's not like one that you just buy. He went in there and it changed the lineup. Who came into pinch hit? What the pitching changes. Like all of that is marked, which is not something that's available to the public.

So, Billy, the way we do that is when something special happens, we will ask, and you have to ask Major League Baseball and the umpires and the other team, because there's one official lineup card. And when, and everything's authenticated, there's a sticker on your lineup card. So it's actually authenticated. You can ask for permission to get more lineup cards, just like you can ask to change bases in a big game you can ask to change bases more often so you have more things to give or to sell or to give to charity or to just have in your collection and so this was a game where we had a thought

that he's going to get the four at bats he's going to get the three thousand hits so we asked for more lineup cards and i had a total of 18 of them made and i've had them with me all this time and i just now got them all framed and and was able to fedex them with with with notes to people that is true of how that genuinely david one of the coolest things i ever got genuinely thank you like sincerely dan apologize you ruined this moment well i'm not going to apologize and furthermore he just claimed he sent me one and his daughter can have the one that he sent me because i have not seen the one he claims i didn't send you one you were cut from the list oh okay but it's because the last time i sent you something that you just don't your your place is cluttered you have

no attachment to it. I thought there'd be no meaning for you to have it. And I thought that Pablo would actually want one. And so Pablo got one. And you did not. I knew that you thought that that was him saying he also sent one to you. He was scolding you by saying your name. He wasn't saying he also sent one to Dan. And he was saying that sends another one, Dan. Don't take it personally, David. One year I remember was like one of my first years on the show. Like I got Dan a Christmas gift and I wrote like a nice what I thought was a nice like handwritten Christmas card and then we came back from the break like two weeks later and so I was still on the desk and I was like all right I'm throwing this in the trash so it's not just I was repressed back then

I wasn't somebody more than made up for it I miss that guy Lewis always tell Dan when he leaves I love you and Lewis just goes thank you Lewis thank you the I had the same relationship with my father this is a true story My father, my brother and I would say, I'm saying this as more than 30 years, not joking, me and my brother. Dad, when we say I love you to you, you say I love you back. Yeah. And so I just became my father. I was repressed, but not anymore.

I love you, Billy. I love you, David. But not Lewis. But not Lewis. Thank you, yeah. Howdy, folks. It's Mike Ryan. I'm super excited to talk to you about the official ticketing partner of the Dan Lebitard show.

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Plus tax at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Don Lebertard. You were that kind of sad this morning taking the barrage of anger from Stugats because you hadn't booked him enough interviews. The only reason I keep bringing this up is because you not are throwing a big party on Thursday. You're doing it, and I want people to support what you're doing because Stugats has not made this easy.

Stugats. Well, you know, I, well, yeah, you know. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. The thing I wanted to talk about with David, because he's having some trouble finding, you know, the importance in things that used to be important. Baseball, you care about it deeply. These playoffs have been great. The level of play is absurd. It's a totally absurd level of play.

You've gotten used to it because it's been like this for about six or seven years. Pitching overwhelming, what have been your big baseball takeaways? What have been the things that have reached you? I just can't believe everyone throws 98. It just at any point in the bullpen, every starter. And it turns out, like last night's game with George Kirby, when the Mariners got off to the 2-0 lead and you're thinking, my God,

are the Mariners going to go to their first World Series? This is Hollywood stuff. Like Mike Scher stuff, Ichero, goes into the Hall of Fame. His number is going to be retired. There's going to be a statue, and they're going to get a World Series appearance, and then maybe even a World Series victory if anyone can beat the Dodgers.

And everything's going great. You got Kirby on the mound. and all of a sudden, Vladimir Guerrero says, okay, I think we're going to win this game. And the Blue Jays put a 13 spot, and Kirby had a wear like seven or eight runs. And you realize that, A, the Blue Jays are just a way better team than the Yankees, which is something that we can talk about.

But B, anytime you think that you've got baseball figured out and that you're looking at a lineup or that a pitching staff that you think is the right one that will get you through October, The truth is, as executives, we don't know that much more than you do. We just say that we do because it makes us feel better. Oh, but Cody, Cody, we know he's a boob, but Cody yesterday, as if he doesn't know what Monster Mashers, Toronto is, even without Bichet,

Cody is at risk of having to walk from here to Seattle on that knee because he thinks that it's, he thought at 2.20, that it was guaranteed that it's going to be Mariners' Dodgers, and that's foolhardy in this sport. well it's 11% Cody there's 11% chance when a home team loses the first two games of a seven game series that that team will go on and win the series the Yankees did it in 96 the Mets did it in 86 and one other team did it but that's it's it's not over if you are Toronto I think the Dodger Milwaukee series and I hate to say this for my friends in Milwaukee who I love and the city I love and for Yelich who I want to get a ring but it is I think you're going to see the Dodgers again from the National League. But in the American League, the Blue Jays, think about the game tonight. I mean, Max Scherzer has no business pitching a postseason game. He's a number nine starter right now with the number one starter's mouth. That's what he is. And you're looking at Luis Castillo, not the Marlins' second baseman, but the Marlins pitcher, who he traded five times.

He's going for the Mariners. And they have the clear advantage. If they go up three one, you've got to believe. But even then, Toronto can do three in a row without a real big issue. So this series is up in the air, Chris? We know we have to get you out of here. It's not Chris Cody. It's Greg Cody that's got to walk to Seattle. Oh, excuse me. How can Greg Cody walk? I'll probably end up doing it for him. He said 58 days it'll take him, so it's going to do it. You think it takes 58 days to walk from Florida to Seattle? It takes that long to fly to Seattle. It takes 60 days, but Greg said he could do it in 58. Now, he also has an appointment tomorrow at the doctor because he has a trick knee right now that he has to have possibly surgery on. So it may be delayed this

walk of his. This is worse than the onion tree. It's worse than any pepper that could be eaten. You can't make Greg Cody. I've done some races like this. You'll kill him. You'll kill him, guys. He can't walk across country. He made the bet.

He's the one who said it. He shocked me when he volunteered it. He said with the Mariners up to O and with the Dodgers up to O, if it's not Mariners Dodgers, he will walk to Seattle. But that, he didn't mean that. He didn't say what he means? No. he obviously didn't the question is what will you make him do i would make him fly to seattle it's just as bad

from miami i want to get to your movie review for a second but i also want to talk again about the expo's documentary that you are in when is that coming out you're featured in the trailer i assumed you'd be the star and a star villain of this film uh you have now seen it yes yes on netflix it's amazing what happens when you have a sick daughter uh all sorts of ills can be passed over. So Netflix contacted me. They want to be a part of the premiere in Montreal, which was my plan. I was going to do a live, nothing personal with old Expos players and all sorts of things. And of course, I didn't go to Montreal. But Netflix said, well, we'd like you to watch the movie. And I said, okay, do you need my address? And I'm such an idiot. I thought they'd send like a screener

so I could pretend I was Adnan Verk. Instead, they were just like, hey give me your email and I said fine I don't like giving people email but you can have it and all of a sudden I turn on Netflix and the movie is there I had to do a code and all sorts of weird stuff so I watched the movie and it comes out October 21st and let's just say that the trailer that Netflix cut the people who made the movie I'd like it to ask your Hollywood people is the people who made the movie didn't cut the trailer Netflix cut the trailer, and it's not exactly how the movie goes, I'll say. But I am certainly in it as a featured interview, sort of like the narrator that carries the story forward. And I make it clear that it is all Derek Jeter's fault, obviously, that I'm sorry, the local Canadian partner's fault that the Expos left.

Wow, that was something interesting that just happened with your short-circuiting of your brain demonstration. That wasn't on purpose? No, he just instantaneously blame Jeter. I blamed Jeter for, like, I was going to call Jeter and blame him for my daughter's sickness, but I thought that I wouldn't do that. That seems a bit much. No. Did you send Jeter that you chew a car to have?

No. No, I definitely, Jeter. He wasn't on any list. No. I'd like to know where the pictures are of us from the O3 World Championship that he had removed from Marlins Park. Now that he's been fired, I was going to. to speak to Bruce Sherman and see if we can get those back somehow. Even if he doesn't want to put

them up, maybe they could just send them so I could have them. But they're all gone from the ballpark. No, obviously Derek had nothing to do, nor would he even wish this. I haven't heard from him. I've heard from a lot of people, but I've not heard from Derek Jeter. And I'm appreciative of everyone I've heard from. But I don't keep track except on a list. But it is amazing. but no, I didn't kill the Expos, Dan, at all. And you'll watch the movie and you'll discover that it was Canadian people who killed the Expos, not me. Don Lebatard.

I kind of agree this is a trap game. Stugats. I kind of do too, but I wanted to pick the Dolphins. Against the spread. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. Nothing personal is the name of the podcast. I urge you to listen to it. He is doing an extraordinary thing because of his connection with his audience.

He should not be doing that podcast right now, given all of the stuff going on with his life. But the audience is helping him, and it helps him in some way to have a couple of hours a day, I would assume, where he's thinking about something else. We're running out of time, and he's got to go. So let's combine two things here. first his his movie review but also let's have the bucket come in here and let's have him also select from the Dentech bucket so that he can suffer the punishment if he loses give us your review while we're doing the bucket here David and we'll just say in the interim what it is that has been selected I've had enough punishments but I'm happy to do it again but I'm reviewing a movie that I thought would be the perfect movie for me to watch during this time and it's called the three Threesome. How do you watch a movie called The Threesome and not think of Lara Flynn Boyle, Stephen Baldwin, and Josh Charles? Great movie. How do you not think that you are about to watch something in the middle of the night that's going to actually give you a distraction?

And it turns out the threesome is about a threesome that happens where they don't show anything. Zoe Deutsch, nothing. And then all of a sudden, she's pregnant. That's what the movie's about. It's about in a threesome when both of the girls get pregnant And what happens after that It is the most mistitled mislabeled mistake movie Wasted Time Time that I don't have And I kept hoping is there gonna be like a pregnancy threesome Is there gonna be something else that will draw my interest And it was about like abortion

It was about all of these other political topics Were you hoping it was gonna be porn? Yes Jeremy, what did you select? It's called the threesome. I took the Bengals, but I'm putting it back. Okay. What are you getting now here?

Let's see what we're doing here. David, you could have just watched porn. I got the Giants. Hey, the bucket is presented by Dentek's ultimate fantasy football punishment. Learn more. And sign up your league at Dentec.com. Bad pick, Jeremy. The Giants are at Denver.

There's seven and a half point dollar. I don't know how I put back minus five or plus five and a half and got something worse. Mike Ryan is going now. Have you ever been to the bucket, David? Yes, except you didn't make me serve the punishment, which I thought was weird because you make people serve punishments, but you didn't make me. No, you have to serve the punishment.

It's just because Billy's been running the punishments, and now Eudanus Haslam is running the punishment, so we're going to fix that. I have a plus one credit I'll apply to David on that one. Mike, what did you get there? Got the Seattle Seahawks against the Texans. I will be keeping that. All right, what are they favored by?

I'd like to pick. We're going to do that. And we're going to get your punishment. Thank you for volunteering that you had one. What is the point spread in that game? The brand of tuxing, pal. I'm good. All right.

It's three and a half. It's all right. Yeah. Be cocky about the results in that sport. I had the cowboys last week. I was the only got that lost. That'll serve you. Now I have to dress like a cowboy.

Go ahead, Billy. Final rummage. Give it a good rummage there. And then, Billy, could you pick for me in honor of your departure? Is this for you? Is this for you? me. I got a billy rummage. I got a rummage in here. I got a swap. Oh, are you kidding?

Oh, way. He's gonna be... Oh, brother. That's like one of the best things in. I got the old swapparoo there. You can put it back. All right, see here. Come on, get a good rummage.

Get a good one. Oh, I got the Denteg golden helmet of it. Helmet of her you? Are you kidding me? He got both of the best things in there. Never. I do have that swap if I want to swap with someone. Can you gift me with it?

I got the Lion's. I got the Lions. Monday Night Football against the box of first end of the double header. Five and a half point favorite. You want that. You've got to keep that. You've got to keep that.

All right. For someone who may have a swap. I can't believe how well. That's the best. That is the, on your final trip to the Dentech bucket, you just did better than anyone's ever done at the bucket. David wanted him to pick for him, but. Ah, look at his back.

He's back, Jack. All right, pick for David here. David, the good ones here that you might want are Buffalo or Baltimore. They're on a buy. You have one putback, David. So you get to decide. here. We've got the Patriots. Do you want the Patriots? They are a seven and a half point favorite at the Titans. Brable's return. You're going to want to keep that, pal. I will keep the Patriots, please.

Okay. So you have to pay the other punishment, though, that you, that we forgot about. So we'll figure out how to do that. We'll stay on top of it. That was two years ago, Dan. Well, no, it expired. That's the metal arc way. No, no, no. Stugat still owes like a freestyle from the Clevelander that he's got to do on the stage at the Clevelander from seven years ago. gotta come in first. Yeah, well, that too. I got the Browns. We've got the Dolphins.

Yeah, Browns, two and a half point favorite at home against the Dolphins. No, I can't root against the Dolphins. What's the matter? It's an emotional head. You've been yelling and screaming that they've got to fire everybody and now you're afraid of them. I root for the dolphins. You're a coward. No, I want to root for them.

You're a coward. You're a coward. Stealers. Third and a football against the Bengals? Tonight. Tonight. Five and a half points favorites. I like it.

Upgraded. I got the Raiders, the Raiders are at the Chiefs, 12.5 point underdog. Keep it. Keep it. You're so anti-chiefs. I might swap, yeah. And you got the Brown. All right. The Browns at home against the dolphins. You can swap, though.

Well, it's up to, I can't swap anything. Browns, what do you get? Steelers. Chris? You want to do business with me? Lions. Lions? What do you have?

I got the Seahawks. I got the Giants. The Giants. Jocs and Dart. I got the Pats. Pats are a good, David. I'll switch with David. I'll take the Patriots.

Wow, David's a David now. David gets the golden helmet of life. Congratulations. After what we discovered about that gift. Yeah, that's stunning. David, congratulations. A little gift from Billy there because he hates the rest of us.

Thank you, Billy, for just really making that worse than it needed to be, as always. Thank you, David. Bye, David. Love you, David. No, you don't. We do love you. We do love you. That's not true. We do love you. And the beard is a good look, by the way.

Oh, my God. Stunning. My daughter loves it. That's why I have it. It's great, dude. I hope to grow it to be Letterman's size. Thank you, David. Big hug from over here. Zaz is going to be in South Bend this weekend. I want to get to some college football stuff. But first, I want to go to the Vatican because I can say in the history of Catholicism, in the history of religion, in the history of God, him or herself, that you have a situation with the Pope that has never before been possible, where the Pope is a Cubs fan, and I have not seen this video, I've not heard this audio, and obviously I can't translate Italian, so I hope that this all speaks for itself. They lost. Go Cubs. Go Cubs, they lost, says the Pope.

Just dismissively, just like, they lost. In flawless English, I cannot explain to you how disorienting that is. I also can't explain to you how much closer to God it brings me. Well, he also before, like, either screamed they lost in either Latin or Italian or something at them first, and then he said they lost in transit. I love a troll Pope. I got to be honest with you. A Pope that's out there giving sports hot takes.

I mean, we thought we had the Pope and Frances, but now we have a Pope Pope, that's talking sports like this is great and dan i was thinking this i don't want you guys feel about this you're going to south bend this weekend's as right yeah i don't know if you've heard this but notre dame very catholic i know i heard about that you know about that touch on jesus i've heard and then there's also that statue that i think you put like gum on or something that we found out no jessica was confused as someone put gum on someone's finger that one time and she's been telling people all these years that's what they do is not what they do so don't put gum on statues now dan notre dame has played in ireland a number of times

because they're Irish. But again, they're also Catholic. So I'm proposing Notre Dame play a game at Vatican City. You have a Chicago Pope. You have a Catholic team. Could you imagine a game at the Vatican? We already saw a concert there like two weeks ago. We're about to see an MMA match on the White House lawn.

Yes. Go ahead and play the Pope again talking about Cubs baseball. Go box! I'm crediting him. Does he first say it in Italian? They lost? That's awesome. He translates himself.

Do you think he's ever doing like Pope duties and he's just in a bad mood because the Cubs lost? What I think is there are a whole lot of people there next to the Cubs fan, wanting to get closer to God and have some acknowledgement and being like, really? Like that's what happened. Like I want a blessing from the beyond and the Pope's sitting here doing a sports talk radio show while he's in the Pope's. Well, he's a White Sox fan, so I think part of it is like, do your research. Yeah. I put a letter in a note in the wailing wall.

You know, you put notes in it. It's a very religious place in Jerusalem. I put a note in the wailing wall hoping that the dolphins would win the Super Bowl. What a waste. That really does seem like a waste. It hasn't happened yet. Wasting wall. Dork.

Mike mentioned something. I meant to bring this up with... How old were you when you did that? That wasn't like now, what? Right? I was 18. Oh, my God. 18.

And you know what? 58 now? 40 years ago you did this. That's some bullshit. Take that back. You look good for 58. He does. You too, that's some bullshit. It's a couple bullshit's right there.

How old are you? Since you did that, the dolphins haven't won a playoff game? Yeah, I put it in Marino's last year. Marino? I genuinely don't know how old you are. It's because you wear this backwards hat that keeps you so young looking. Thanks, man. I appreciate that.

And I shaved my beard, so I look like a kid again. I got like a Benjamin Button's thing going on here. And he rides a skateboard to wear. I think you put an S on button. and that's what old people do. That's what I do. I put S's where they don't belong. That's exactly how that happens.

But Mike enjoys calling other people dorks, and one of the things that he did earlier this week is he said, no, I've never scored a baseball game because I'm an adult who has sex. But there are many parents who have sex who score baseball games, including Greg Cody, because they have children and they score baseball games. Oh, people that score, they do have sex. Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever written 6, 4, 3 on a song? scorecard?

Trust me, they have sex. It's not four play, six, four, three play. Doort. Put it on the poll. I have sex. At Lebitard show. It's a backwards, K, if it's looking. Who's cooler, a person who has sex or person who keeps score of a baseball game?

Can't wait to see the result. When they bat around the order and you have to figure out, what am I going to do next in the next inning? What are you looking forward to in South Bend? because it does really appear, I do think if we're not doing any rankings, if we're not doing anything other than just watching football, I think most of the people listening to this would say that two lost Notre Dame is one of the better teams in the country because they played with Miami and Texas A&M, even though they lost to Miami and Texas A&M. I said to you yesterday that there are not a lot of teams in the country that would be, like Miami is, a two touchdown favorite against Louisville. I think Notre Dame might be one of them. I don't think I can name five teams in the country that the money would say, I've watched football this year, and I believe that team to be a two-touchdown favorite against Louisville.

I think everybody would be scared of Louisville's Louisville. Lulul. I think Mike is saying it properly. That's right. Okay. Name the teams that you guys believe would be two touchdown favorites against Lvv-Vu. Ohio State. yeah I think that's it

Miami is 13 and a half now I think Notre Dame might also be favored like that I think Texas A&M might also be favored like that Oregon at home maybe USF if you put them in Alabama uniforms I don't think that Oregon at home would be that kind of favorite after what happened

with Indiana they might be bad I'm here to tell you yes Oregon might be bad given what happened against Penn State and given everything we've seen that's happened around Penn State but I remind you I think sports book, you can get Oregon to miss the playoffs north of plus 200. I remind you, though, as we do transitive property of trying to figure out, not just in college football, pro football.

Like, I think a lot of people, it's a crazy thing to say after this many games, but it happens with the randomness of injuries and kids. Who's good? Who's good? You got like, I ask you, you're watching an awful lot of football, and if I ask you who's good college and pro, you're going to have a hard time giving me 10 teams, like total, 10 teams that you know to be good. That's an issue with us too, because good football teams are like nine-win teams. Ten-win teams are a real good football team, but we've made good like championship

good or bust. And what happens with Louisville and Miami, I think the money is doing this for this reason when I say again and again, and it's not something I've done before when I, it isn't. Over the last 20 years, you will not find me saying that Randy Shannon beating Oklahoma at home makes Miami good. You will not find me saying that after two wins against Notre Dame, the only top 10 wins that Miami has since 2017, that Miami is back in good. But this is why I'm willing to say it. It's not even the victories against Notre Dame, Florida, or Florida State. It's not any of those victories that make me say it, although in the cumulative, I do think they can beat you a ton of ways. 16 play drive at the start of the third quarter against Notre Dame.

just hold the football game. The way they've won Florida State, Florida, and Notre Dame games are one kind of impressive, but those games look close on the scoreboard, even though they weren't that close. The one that makes me know that Miami is good is the win over South Florida, because I know South Florida's good. And I know no one else in the country thinks this. I'm telling you, South Florida is good,

and they dragged them the whole game the way they could have to Florida, Florida State, or Notre Dame, but they let their foot off the gas. Against South Florida, what they did is they dragged a team that I believe could be in the playoffs good. I'm not even kidding when I tell you that the South Florida team, if I put it in an Auburn uniform, you guys would be saying,

if I put it in an Alabama uniform, you guys would be saying that's a top 10 team because the athletes on that team are really good athletes. I've been saying all season on ESPN radio, I think USF's a playoff team. And this is the team, by the way, that's given up an average of 31 points the last two weeks to Charlotte and North Texas.

are not good at defense. They are good at offense. Just confirming. And those athletes are really good. I think they're going to be the fifth conference champion. They're going to win the American and they're going to make the playoffs. It can be a flawed team, Jeremy, or even half a team and make the playoffs. There are so many half of teams out there where they've got one good unit and those are going to be in the playoffs. I mean, the fifth conference champion is going to be a flawed team. There's always a group of five team that will make it now with the new. They're going to be that team. Of course. Florida was slowed by Florida and Miami because Florida and Miami have playoff good defenses. South Florida is not going to get slowed by many people. South Florida should be respected the same way.

We're respecting because Louvre has done it longer and is going to get respect for offense and big game surprises. But that South Florida team, I'm absolutely telling you. Jeremy, if you watched, I did watch that Charlotte game. They were up 23-0-0 in the first quarter, and they dropped six passes right in their chest against Charlotte. That game was not in any way close, but yes, their defense is flawed, absolutely flawed. But their offense is not. It only got slowed by playoff-worthy defenses. Hey, audience, I got a special treat for you because I want to talk to you about Miller-Light,

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So whatever your game day looks like, remember, Miller Time is always a good time. Look at us. We're a great tag team. I know. Can you do that beer sound one more time? And the horse sound one more time? I regret asking you about that one. but the Miller Light son is good.

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