The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Do You Remember Me From the Block?

Episode Date: March 27, 2024

David Samson tells us all about the time he was in a play, Shohei Ohtani's defense, and to review Ricky Gervais' latest special. Then, it's time to update the Song Region in this year's March Sadness. Plus, Lucy introduces us to Jennifer Lopez's movie "This is Me...Now" and it launches an all out war over how the Shipping Container feels about Jenny from the Block. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. 29 years later, Cuervo is still going strong. Family owned from the start, same family, same land. Now's a good time to enjoy Cuervo. The tequila that invented tequila. Go to Cuervo.com to shop tequila or visit a store near you. Cuervo, now's a good time. Trademarks owned by Becle, SAB the CV, copyright 2024, Proximo.

Jersey City, New Jersey, please drink responsibly. ["The Big Suey Theme"] Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Jersey City, New Jersey, please drink responsibly. Welcome to the Big Sewy! Presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face and the habitual liar. His name is David Sampson. You can catch him on tour, the NPDES tour, Nothing Personal with David Sampson tour at a city near you. Get your tickets, davidsamsonpodcast.com, or I guess just follow Juju,

which is what David told us earlier, that Juju's also selling tickets, because he's gonna be at the Atlanta show, right, Juju? Absolutely, we gonna be in there having a lot of fun, man. Salute to my big brother, David. There you go, cities and dates are on your screen right now at a city winery near you. Is there a deal going on with City Winery behind the scenes?

It's in front of the scenes. It's not behind the scenes at all. Do you think it was a coincidence? Yeah. City Winery's available again. All right. Let's keep it going. Love those guys. City Winery's a fun place, actually. They have a ton of shows,

and they fit me into their packed calendar and people just come into shows. They come day of, they're just fans of City Winery and they come, I'm going to a City Winery show in New York on Friday to see Joshua Raden and I've never seen him before, but I wanna check out the venue because I'm doing New York April 29th.

Special guest there as well, including maybe someone from the Levitard universe. But it's gonna be a fun time. I'm excited. What's the worst that can happen, Juju? I get the flop sweats, I stand up on stage and go totally silent, the lights go on, and I look around and I say nothing.

Nah, I like my chances. Well, I mean, the worst that could happen is, the worst that could happen is that nobody shows up, right? Like that's just you and Juju and it's just a cavernous scene. That's not the worst thing that could happen. That's not the worst at all. The worst thing that could happen is like violence or something crazy.

Hey, I'm gonna do the Chris Cody thing. Violence at the show might actually help. Let's not promote that. I'm not promoting it. No, thank you. I'm not promoting it, I'm just saying. Can we cut that out? By the way, Josh, I actually disagree with you.

I mean, I think it's so important to have that feeling of discomfort in your stomach that I have about the tour. I think it's good to go outside of your comfort zone. It's good to expand and try to do things that you don't normally do, to try to do a show for an hour and a half in front of an audience and to treat the audience, whether there's 10 people or 100 people or 20,000 people, you treat the audience with great respect, appreciation for them giving of their time and money

to be entertained by you. Just like with my podcast, the first show I ever did, I think had five downloads. And I took it as seriously then as I do now. It doesn't matter. So I actually don't agree. That is not close to the worst thing. The fact that when I can spend time with Juju anywhere,

it's already close to the best thing. Have you ever done- I appreciate that, brother. Have you ever done any sort of live work other than cussing a bunch of people out and telling them $1 billion? Two billion. Yes. Two billion?

I was, I started a play in Miami called Not Ready for Primetime, which it had an 18 show run back in 2000 and it may have been 14. I played Lorne Michaels, the founder of Saturday Night Live and I enjoyed that very much. When was this? I think 2014, I tried out as President Marlins, I tried out for a play in Miami and I was cast

and I was so nervous. We had rehearsals, I would go to games and then go to rehearsals and it went no games. I'd rehearse till midnight and I was one of the stars and I had to learn all my lines and get off book and every time a little funny thing about those shows which helped inform Nothing Personal Today every time the stage manager would give the five minute warning meaning the show's about to start and I started the show I forgot every one of my lines so I kept a script right in my dressing room

and I would relook at it. And then the minute I would say the first word, it would all just come back to me. But that feeling of nervousness, of absolute fear that you will go on stage and have no idea what to say, that informed me to nothing personal and led me to nothing personal where I have no script.

And I talked for 50 minutes just off the top of my head. How did Jeffrey Loria feel about his president like dashing after a game to go hit up rehearsals? He was not happy just like he wasn't happy when I went on Survivor but he had to give permission as did the commissioner at the time. He had to give permission for me to go on Survivor and to be gone for that long during the course of a season. CBS would not cast me without permission from the commissioner and from Jeffrey.

There's an absolutely brutal line in here, David, from the Miami New Times about when you were doing this that said, eager stage door Johnnies take note. Not ready for prime time will run only slightly longer than the Marlins' post-season hopes coming to an end April 13th. Ouch. Big yth. Ouch. Big yikes.

Ouch. Listen, Jeremy, I gotta tell ya, is I am perfectly okay with failure, and I don't view that as a failure, just like the tour, no matter what won't be a failure, because I will learn something. Every time I have failed in my life, it has led to a future success,

and I failed plenty and had plenty of success So I love failing. I actually look for it. I embrace it and I'm not scared of it I want to make it clear I didn't say it was a failure just the writer from the Miami New Times did and I also like to point out that if you Are experiencing failure and don't have the kind of attitude that David does about it Then just hit up the law offices of Amino Hassan. We'll get your reputation clean by coming to I mean of Amin Ohassen, we'll get your reputation clean by coming to Amin. David.

By doing what? Coming to Amin. Oh, okay. Two in, oh two. That two is doing a lot of work. Kick-saving a beat. That two is doing the Spider-Man, holding everything back right there.

David, opening day is tomorrow, I'll be honest, I did not know even though I feel like I'm embroiled with baseball news every day through my algorithm timelines through my group chats through my interactions with people day to day and the reason is because all we talk about all the time is Shohei Otani. It's a nightmare opening day is supposed to be and it is the greatest day of the calendar for any baseball fan. I remember as a kid watching opening day and then when I was old enough going to bars, I would skip class always on opening day.

I just loved the fact that there were games all day and they finally counted after spring training when no one cares what the result of the game is. And you're always in first place on opening day. So I used to love that, that you had a shot. Always, I always wanted to win opening days. I don't remember my record in my 18 opening days. I wanna assume maybe something like eight and 10, just under 500.

But I always felt when I won, that we could go 162 and 0. And when we lost, that I was gonna lose 162. And it's so irrational. You must have felt that in basketball, I mean. Never, not that. Yes, the feeling of you win the first game, like this is gonna be a great season. 82 and 0 never occurred to me though, sadly.

I always thought about that. And so opening day, you wear a tie. I would always go to every employee on opening day and say happy opening day and thank them for the work. So much work happens during the off season, not just on the baseball side, but on the marketing side, on the sales side, just thanking people for what they're doing and watching fans no matter how many people were there. They were just so happy.

Opening day is happiness. I associate it as such. And tomorrow there's a game at one o'clock Eastern and all the way until late. So it's a fun day for me. David waxing romantic about opening day is a lovely conversation. Maybe we can do that next year. This year, we're talking about Shohei.

We're talking about Shohei. I won't do it. What? Can you believe what Dave Roberts did? Dave Roberts saying, hey, it's better without the interpreter. There's no buffer now between us and Otani. I think this is really great. That's lemonade right there. You got lemons.

Give me some lemons. I'll squeeze it. Add some sugar lemonade. Let me tell you, it's absolute horse hockey because there's another interpreter and Otani being approachable or not has nothing to do with the existence of Ipe Mizuhara. What's happening is that the Dodgers have distanced themselves so much from him as has Shohei. Everybody has just thrown him under the bus and yet we don't know anything. His statement yesterday or two days ago was an absolute joke. It was misguided. It was silly to have done in the first place.

And he put himself in a position where he better have told the whole truth and nothing but the truth or he's gonna get in serious trouble. And he didn't even answer the most important question like, hey, I gave him permission to wire money out of my account because he paid my cable bill little did I know he was buying out a bookie do you believe he didn't even say that do you believe so what's the use do you believe them base you know I always I'm just saying based on the the

subtext of everything that's happened and the idea that the interpreter launched or just embezzled four and a half million dollars from him do you the subtext of everything that's happened and the idea that the interpreter or just embezzled four and a half million dollars from them. Do you believe that explanation? Do I believe there are players who don't know how much money they have in their account? Yes, I know that for a fact. Do I believe there are players who depend on business managers to help them with their finances?

Yes, I know that. Here's what I also know. There is not a bank in the world that will wire $500,000 to a bookie and speak to someone who's not on the account. It doesn't exist. Boom. The quote here is, I've never bet on baseball or any other sports. That to me says that he's bet on the Oscars, he's bet on the Grammys, he's bet on everything any other sports. That to me says that he's bet on the Oscars, he's bet on the Grammys, he's bet on everything

other than sports. That's the anthem. Yep, all that stuff. The Gatorade color, everything. David, before we let you go, you wanna review Ricky Gervais' Armageddon? Is that right? Yeah, I wanted to talk about comedy routines.

I watched two of them recently. Ricky Gervais' Armageddon, and I watched the new Pete Davidson called something Fonzarelli, I can't remember what it was called. And I'm thinking about political correctness, and I'm thinking about comedy, and I'm thinking about Dan worrying about

it's the end of the world and all the issues that he has. And Ricky did this whole routine about what it means to be at the end of the world and whether or not in fact we are and this is the same comedian who hosted the Golden Globes and really was quite talkative towards stars in the room in a way that Jimmy Kimmel never would be at the Oscars. A cervic. And I was very so I was thinking about comedians who go on stage, whether they've got four people at a set, 10 people or 100 people or 2,000 people, and the line that they have to walk now is

so different than it used to be. And I was thinking back to Don Rickles or Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy, other comedians who just had freer rein thinking about it's harder now to make people laugh than it's ever been. And I give credit to those who try. I don't know, I watched it, I loved it. But I also think a lot of these comedians now, their audiences are self-selecting. So he knows who his audience is.

He can do these jokes for this audience that he maybe couldn't do at a Golden Globes or at something where he wasn't the main ticket. It's a Netflix special though. How do you control the audience that way? The people who don't wanna watch it, don't watch it. Yeah. Good point.

Like I don't care what Ricky Gervais has to say anymore. I don't know. Really? Nah. I used to. There's enough that's been said that I'm out. The reason you don't care is you don't find him funny or you find him offensive?

Kind of both. Like his comedy has become, aw, poor me, I can't say the same shit I used to and I am so sick of hearing comedians say that. But he says- Just be funny. He says it in a funny way though. You can go the other way and go Dave Chappelle. Well, like I don't like,

that's a whole other conversation. We have eight seconds. Nothing personal with David Sampson. The tour, you get tickets, davidsampsonpodcast.com. David, thank you. Have a great day. Hey, it's Mike. And first off, let me thank you.

A lot of people have hit me up privately, curious about my fishtail palms, and I just got some landscaping done and let me tell you they've never looked better. I've got light shining on them and now every night I go outside, sit on my patio, look at my fishtail palms and drink some Miller Lite. Yeah a lot has changed over the years. One thing that hasn't is the great taste of Miller Lite. It was the original light beer and to this day it's still the best one. Miller Light has more of the tastes that you want and less of the stuff that you don't. Oh

sitting outside with my family letting the music play and sipping Miller Light. That is the good stuff folks. That is what life's about. Times change but you can always enjoy the great taste of Miller Light. Ah tastes like Miller Time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit millerlite.com slash Dan, or you can pretty much find it anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces.

TurboTax experts make all your moves count, filing with 100% accuracy and getting your max refund guaranteed. So whether you worked a side hustle to afford season tickets or move states and adopted a new team, switch to TurboTax and make your moves count. See guaranteed details at TurboTax.com slash guarantees.

Experts only available with TurboTax Live. Don LeBattard. That's how it's gonna end. The mailing and end of the retirement, Chris go get me this, it's just an AB, him coming out and hitting the one or two notes of that kind of thing and you know it and then just giving us finger guns and leave it.

Baby! You should listen to The Great Cody Show podcast because that's all we do for 55 minutes a week is just say catchphrases. We even make songs about them. And You Know It is a song for Crying Out Loud. That's great Hopefully that's a suey nominee for best song and you know it baby and you know it stu guts This is the down lebatattar Show with the StuGuts.

["Sweet and Sad"] Mark's sadness. We got a lot of catching up to do, but I'm excited because this category, year in and year out, whether it's for sues, whether it's for this, always gives us gold, right? The songs. Songs are the strong.

This is the strong region, right? I don't know, Greg Cody's region yesterday has banger after banger after banger after banger. Chris, man, first of all. Nice hat asshole is a crime that it was like a 10th seed or whatever it was. The seedings were insane, were insane. Forget about nice hat asshole,

when he didn't wanna do the back in my day because he thought it was all a setup, that one was a like an underdog luckily. It's all voting based so go to our social medias But it's not the point about the voting base I need to know who the committee was that put this together Billy terrible terrible terrible ass commissioner as usual Billy's the head of the committee garbage now it all makes nice hat asshole But we have the song division I don't know why I called But we have the song division. I don't know why I called it a division.

The song conference. Region. Region. Opening round still. You can go vote on our social medias. The first round will be ending this week. Number four, the wrong song. You are so wrong.

I heard you taking the airflow. You gotta let it go. Baby. I heard everybody go. You're wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. I heard you taking air blows, you got it wrong so let it go Baby, you're wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong I heard you taking air blows, you got it wrong so let it go Never let everybody know, you're wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong That's a four. How is that a four? There were three other songs seated higher. Had better seasons? That's Caitlin Clark in Iowa, bro.

They are trippin'. Whoever ranked this needs to go to jail for an hour. One hour. With Greeny or without Greeny? With Greeny. That four seed is going against 13 seed unwritten book still it's for sale cuz I closed the deal I'm getting to it but so are my friends We all know how this ends Staring at the laptop before you open up a browser window

Let your fingers hunt and peck for stugotsbook.com Only 29 bucks for the hardbackback So close you can almost taste it Pre-sale for incomplete work Watch the money roll in No one else is gonna profit Only I will rake it in No one else, no one else Could get away with this sh**

Click the link now to obtain it Best of luck as you're explaining To your friends why you're purchasing You're all in on the crypt Yes it's my name on the cover That means I get full credit No one knows, no one knows If this thing even comes out

Click the link now to obtain it Best of luck is you're explaining To your friends, why you purchasing A book that's still unwritten. All right. Blow out, dang. That one was a slow burn. Juju, I'm with you.

It's still a blow out. But like they had some heart. God, that's so good. You know what it was? Juju, they went down 40 earlier. And then like in the last five minutes, started hitting threes. So final score down 20, maybe 18.

Yeah, you're right, you're right. But at that end, they built that beginning, woof. Bro, it just made me feel like he wants me to go to DeVry University. Like, it's such a shame. Let me remind the people that March Sadness is presented by Get Your Guide. Discover over 100,000 unforgettable travel experiences

in the US and around the world at getyourguide.com. Keeping it moving here in the tournament, five seed, the sports whisperer song. Psst. Bill. Bill. It's Tom. Listen up.

Listen Bella Check, let me whisper in your ear Tell you something that you might like to hear You had a nice career but the end looking sad Mind if I tell you about this plan I had My home's been gaining on me way too fast Surely as a coach they should get past I can play at least another year or two So here's what we're gonna do

I'm calling up Woody and we're going to the Jets Twice a year we can be the Patriots We're kicking both Sazla and Aaron to the curb I'm calling up Gronk and we're flipping up the bird Never really wanted Greg Olsen's spot Wanted him to know how much cash I got You need a meat bill, I'll always be the boss After After we're done, you can coach LaCrosse. You better listen up. You better listen up to recap. We're gonna partner up. We're gonna partner up. Hey Bill, you better listen up.

You better listen up to recap. We're gonna partner up. We're gonna partner up. Like bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me attached to it Billy has put me against one of the best things in the entire region. So I'm like dude anything I have is not working. Let's listen closing time. Closing time. This room won't be open till your brothers or sisters come. So gather up the jackets move into the exits. I hope you have found a friend. to the exits I hope you have found a friend Closing time Every new beginning comes from some other beginning home I know I want to take me home I know I want to take me home take me home ladies and gentlemen let's take our musical guest Lewis that was a fun night

the guitar was the champion of that it was here riffing in the background was beautiful I love all those brothers in that in that shot like everybody that was in that singing Oh my god, I love all y'all but this is a bigger blowout than the last one It's true But again, it's it's because Billy's putting all the seating together because that could have fought against you know Something less like maybe Karius Jalen Branson the DeVry Institute All right song now it's time for the one seed. One verse sixteen. The one seed, Puka Nakua. And his hammy got a tear, he saw Pooka standing there His blade diminished, hustle takeover

Nakua hopped into the car, McVeigh has maybe found a star And then that staffer threw him 25 and 2 Oh there's a brand new kid in town out of BYU They call him Pooka, Pooka. Pooka Nakua. Pooka Nakua. His quarterback is not named Tua. Yeah. Yeah, he is Pooka. Pooka. Pooka Nakua.

fantasy assassin, it's the time to cash in. Yeah, it's Pooka. Don't need the glow. Pooka. Don't need the glow Don't need the glow Banger. Not a one seed. Wow! What? Get out of here! Not a one seed. Who are they playing? Now, I like this. This is a tough 16 seed. Kachuck you. You're mad that you traded Uberto for a brand new love And I'm like a junkie

Your name is Chris sweating and you said it wasn't enough I'm like a junkie It's crazy, you disper hagi Lombard's kicking it in high gear You pick Troll Check, Well I'm rolling with Barkay The pan wagon don't need you here You're missed on Matthew And all they do for you

Well he's a gold getter Winning game is so bitter Ooh I got some news for you Coward, go tell your little New York friends You're Matt the trainer todoed for a brand new love. And I'm like a chuck you. Your name is Chris, winning, and you said it wasn't enough. I'm like a chuck you, a chuck you times two.

You slept with a stranger that knew your granger. That is a tough one. That's a 16C. I'mma say it right now. I was trying to have it up on my screen, but alas. This is St. Peter's right here. Making a run? This is St. Peter's right here. Upset City. Brother, against Pooka Nakua, are you looting your mind? Are you crazy? Upset City. That's what I'm picking.

That's my bracket, you got your bracket, I got mine. All right, moving on here, the seventh seed, Mr. Stugots Lies. They call him Johnathan Wienze, skirting out of our fine. Gonna be out of town, he's gotta have it all. And he's lying to Chris, how did it end up like this? And what's the scheduling miss, when was he scheduling this? But I'm in it too deep and I'm waving a flag

While he's reeking of smoke and he's taking the bag Now he's off with the dead and Bill is stomach is sick Tell me what have we bread? Well he's betting the chance now Heaters on his breath now I don't know Flectrip he took, he's killing me I've lost all control

All come true Finally filled with fraud and felonies Deadhead shows are where he flies The cross mitzvah alibis And I know that any day The SEC is calling me It should come as no surprise Cause Mr. To God's lies I like that one

That song is gonna be now This song, that 7th seed is going against a 10th seed made by Taylor And this is, if I remember correctly, one of the worst songs we've ever played It's a 3, the crowd goes into illusion winning in the playoffs not an illusion it's a heat check he's on fire but let it fly saw the contract they said he was overpaid man Said that he was overrated and we had no plan They were wrong and I am beaming

Hear the mecha say Carry us Jalen Bronson Palms up clutch that's why we won New York knows you are the best, not the joke no more. I'm being told Taylor is predicting a run in the tournament. He thinks he's gonna make a run. On March 16, 2016, UConn beat UMBC 104 to 45.

Terriers. That's why I think Taylor gonna beat whoever that was who sung the first song because look, bro, I like that song. It was from the heart. He loved the nicks. So that was raw emotion we heard there. All right, last match up here.

Gabagool, New York, eight seed. ["Gabagool, New York, Eight Seed"] Mmm. NFC and A Offensive players of the week In New York, New York De Vito, he rules Wilson making plays The Mormon and Italian in New York, New York Zach Wilson soaking with a mom just the tip Tommy DeVito's the man Forget about it These offensive lines, protecting all day They'll actually get some passes off in old New York

if they can make it there they'll make it anywhere New York, New York We should have just played the Gabagool part. Yeah, that was a long one. Honestly, I feel the same way. Just for the Gabagool. Why did he pick my worst song? It's a slow burn. Well, Jeremy, that eighth seed is going against another one of your songs.

Oh. Bill's Bill's Bill's. There we go. Ding, ding-a-ding, ding-a-ding. Ding, ding-a-ding, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting, Ting-a-ting We often started struggling Tyreke is faster than a car But it don't matter if you can't get him the ball And have the running game to ever have consistency Hold on to that tightens lead And now you're losing week to week

Struggling, interception Oh my brother, quarterback Why haven't I found another baller? When times get hard, I need someone to scramble around Instead of a pocket pass, I get jumped to the ground Can you beat the Bills? Can you beat the Buffalo Bills? Can you beat the Buffalo Bills? Every day, then maybe I would chill

But I don't think we do So the Vins and me are through Tick-a-toot, tick-a-toot You guys feel like Pook and the Coo is gonna win easily, right? It's a bit of a buzzsaw in this region That's what I'm rooting for But if it beats Chuck U, which I think, to Chuck U I think that one is better Then it gets to play probably this song right here, which might be the matchup

of the entire region. I think you need to get your guide like the sponsors and realize that Pook and the Coo is going all the way. And let me remind you that March Sadness is presented by Get Your Guide. Discover over 100,000 unforgettable travel experiences in the U.S. and around the world at GetYourGuide.com. Don LeBbatard. All of us who were watching college football elevated everything the weekend was

because we missed football in general so very much. You didn't watch the ending of UTEP Jacksonville State. It was awesome. Adisi. Boom. Mm-hmm. Stu Gatz. Such a lane for you.

Just everything in college football is awesome. Any single thing that happens, she gets deliriously happy about. Don't you miss viewing sports through that prism though? Like I'm envious of Lucy. Like I wish that I could still be happy. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the StuGats. I was aware that JLo has an album coming out, Jennifer Lopez. I was aware there's an accompanying video piece with that album.

What I was not aware is that that piece is not a documentary about the album or the making of the album, but Lucy informed me earlier that it is in fact a quote-unquote fictional piece of work. I'm still not clear. So it is a movie. So there's two separate parts of this. There's the movie of the album and then there's the documentary about making the movie of the album. I watched the movie first and wow, I'm not gonna say spoiler alert because like you watch at your own risk. It's not, there isn't necessarily a plot

and JLo said that she's not the main character but she is the main character. And basically what I think, what I believe to have happened is it's a movie about her finding Ben Affleck again but it's not about her and Ben Affleck specifically except for that there's a lot of people in space who are giving her advice and she's building a metal heart and there's this hummingbird that keeps showing up. Is she an astronaut? She's not an astronaut she is a woman addicted to love Fat Joe was her therapist. Now I think we need to be clear when you say addicted to love. No, addicted to love.

No, addicted to love. I'm just saying because there's someone with certain legal issues who goes by the name of love. Who also is in her past. That used to date her, so we're not talking about that love. We're talking about love, the emotion. Yes, and so she's addicted to love and finding partners to fix. And so the premise of the movie is that she starts off in a factory and they're creating rose petals on the conveyor belt.

I don't know what they were using to build that. What are you talking about? You sound like you're hot. You sound insane right now. So then they, so they push the rose petals into the conveyor belt and JLo does a dance and then she gets all muddy And you're like where did the mud come from and then they build?

then they build a Mechanical a big metal heart and then she goes on this in space or on this is this is on earth I just a dream no Wish it was a dream these dreams and then she goes to and then there's this hummingbird that shows, and oh wait, but she's also telling a story about how the story of how a hummingbird fell in love. I don't know. And then she ends up in a glass house with her boyfriend and then she gets married three times.

And then her friends are like, hey J.Lo, you're addicted to love. And then she was like, hey, you're all terrible people, but her name's not J.Lo. And then they keep flashing to space where there's Sofia Vergara and Jane Fonda and Trevor Noah. A woman in space.

And Post Malone and they're all in space, but they're all zodiac signs and they're trying to guide her. But they're not allowed to help her. So they're just talking about what is happening to her. And then it goes back down to JLo and she's now broken up with her other, her three husbands. And then she's talking to Fat Joe about it, and he's like, hey, you're addicted to love.

And she's like, no, I'm not. Then she watches Barbra Streisand and cries. And then she starts to realize she's not addicted to love. She's addicted to finding Ben Affleck. And then, so then she gets... I thought you said she's addicted to... No, and then she... That does get said in the movie.

Oh, okay. It does. And then she, I believe from there, this little girl shows up, and then she... And that does get said in the movie. Oh, okay. It does, and then she... I believe from there, this little girl shows up, and the little girl's like, why don't you love me? Or, I didn't get loved enough. And J.Lo's like, by your parents? And she's like, no, by you.

I'm younger J.Lo. Oh, my God. And so then they hug each other, and she feels happy. And then the hummingbird shows back up, and you're like, where'd the hummingbird come from and then they go to space and they're all cheering in space they're like yes J-Lo we're so proud of you and then she and then she's back in not on earth but not on space and then Ben Affleck

shows up and they ride off in a motorcycle together but Ben Affleck's also in the movie the entire time as a weird news anchor that will randomly be in the background being like Breaking news love is dead dog. Let me tell you right now, and that's how that's what happened. That's love beautiful That you know what's love not anything that Lucy said other than the fact that Ben Affleck agreed to be in this well in the documentary He was like hey, I really wish you wouldn't do this like so the documentary is her This is seppin so she made a documentary about the making of this movie And so I don't recommend the documentary. The documentary was terrible.

I also know the documentary was terrible. The documentary was terrible. The documentary was really bad. I know the documentary was scripted because someone went up to Ben Affleck and the documentary was like, you're my favorite Batman. I said, there's no way, that's true.

So that's scripted, that's a lie. More of the... And then, so but in the documentary, Ben Affleck's like, yeah, J.Lo really wanted to make this whole album about you know Finding me again because her last album came out 20 years ago And she was with Ben Affleck and it's all about finding love and she said it's the greatest love story never told and then Ben Affleck's like well you're making a movie about it, so it feels like you're telling it It feels like you're telling it and the whole time. He's just like very apprehensive

He's oddly like weirdly a narrator in some parts and not in some parts It was really odd. Is it called This Is Me Now? This Is Me, so that's her new album. Dot dot dot now. And I think that's the name of the movie. Hold on, the Rotten Tomatoes score on, or is this the? This Is Me Now, I believe is the documentary,

the movie is the greatest love story never told, I believe. But she made the movie, so she told it. Because, yeah, that's a good point. Because This Is Me Now, a love story has 75% on Rotten Tomato, 78% audience score. Not Cinephobel or something. I thought for sure the way you were describing it, I was like on a very special edition of Cinephobe, Lucy Rodin makes a big deal.

You should know, you should watch it because it's one of those things where so J.Lo financed it herself because everybody backed out and it's something that like things where, so J.Lo financed it herself because everybody backed out and it's something that like, yeah, oh, there's the awesome scene as the documentary is her assistant is just going through names of being like, Jennifer Coolidge said no, Derek Hoff said no, he wasn't it anyways. Um, like all these people said no, no, no, no.

And J.Lo's like, I know why they're saying no, it's because they're afraid. They're afraid of me doing something that's never been done before oh my god i had a lot going on okay cool alright the documentaries the one called the greatest love story on the other way around the documentary has a hundred percent on rotten tomatoes i think something happened to me

80 percent on audience score. I'm calling bullshit. Something happened. It was really bad, and we got this very remarkable, very viral TikTok scene where JLo, she's in her gym working out, and then I'm gonna take my headset off for a second and show you what she did.

She went like this. And she was like, this, my hair when it's wild and crazy like this, it reminds me back when I was a young girl in the Bronx, just running up and down the block, so crazy, so free, that wild little girl. The whole movie, it's just her being like, you guys know I'm from the Bronx, right? You're aware that I'm from the Bronx.

Do you remember me from the block? Do you remember me from the block? Ginny, me from the block? That was you. And there's an awesome- This movie sounds beautiful, so yeah, I wanna see it now. You should watch it, because it's an insane thing to watch,

and it reminded me of my favorite internet clip of JLo is when she's back in the Bronx, on the block, and she goes up to her old house, and some guy is standing there, and she's like, I used to live here and he's like, okay. Who are you? And she's like, Jennifer? And he's like, Jennifer who?

And she's like, Jennifer Lopez, I used to live up there and he's like, okay. You can tell she's so offended that he doesn't know who she is. The whole thing, I've just, it's this wild, very navel gaze-y product of Jennifer Lopez being like, I am creating things that have never been done. I am so smart and talented.

And I do think she's very talented. She's a hell of a dancer. But she can't sing. She cannot sing objectively. She just can't. She's not a very good singer. She can sing. No, she can't.

She's good. Come on. Juju, Juju. She can't sing. I love you, brother. You don't need to do this. We all are entitled to our opinions. I love all her songs. No, she can't. She's good. Come on. Juju, Juju. She can't sing. I love you brother, you don't need to do this. Y'all are entitled to all opinions. I love all her songs. No, she can dance.

You love her songs. Yeah, but that doesn't mean she can sing. You got cash I want. Even if you were broke. My love don't cost a thing. Every note. It's not even, it's not even, that doesn't mean she can sing, Jeremy.

It's, oh wow, this is her. Oh my God. We need is her. Oh my God. We need the audio. Oh my God. Do we have the rights to play the audio? This is coming off of someone's Amazon Prime account, right? Well, I did a perfect reenactment. Crazy little girl, no limits.

It was a great reenactment. I like taking my hair out like this. It reminds me like when I was 16 in the Bronx, running up and down the block. Crazy little girl who used to bleep. What voice is that? She literally used the block. Who used to what?

As if we didn't remember. She's Jenny for the block. Juju, she didn't sing her songs. That was the more important part. It's not just that. Fake news. Okay. What is this?

I see a lot of haters. Why are y'all going after J-Lo? I've always been a J-Lo hater. I'm not a J-Lo fan. y'all going after JLo? I've always been a JLo hater. I'm not a JLo fan. You're such a kind person. I don't like JLo. I don't like just take JLo out. No, cause she's mean.

I don't hate her. She's just mean. Much like I don't hate Millie Vanille, but they didn't sing their songs. Dude's just gonna be like, hold on now. Girl, you know it's true. I love Millie Vanille. And JLo's always been mean.

She was mean as a judge on American Idol, and it made me dislike her forever. You need a mean person to be the judge. Nah, no, you need one mean judge on these talents. You have to Simon yes, you are a witty. Yes. You are a witty. She was just kind of like Jeremy explained it Well, yeah, she was mean to the people she was jealous of she was mostly just mean to the women really sing. Yeah I'm just being honest man. I watched it with my own eyes at 14 years old Okay Credibility and get reckless here is something we like to call reckless speculation

I don't know if you're good, but go ahead Jennifer Lopez hates women whoa Obviously kidding no no Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! whatever of American Idol. I love her. And every time, every single time that she crushed a song, J-Lo be like, little pitchy for me. J-Lo, you can't sing. I mean, look, that doesn't mean it wasn't a little pitchy. And she's got ears, dude. She can hear. This is on American Idol for, if she can't sing, why was she judging?

Also, pitchy was a word. Oh, that's a whole other conversation. Pitchy's a word that was invented on American Idol. My man, Randy. Randy's a man. Little pitchy for me, dog. Bruh, Scott Foster came dumped from the free throw line, but he know a damn charge when he see one.

Exactly right, attaboy. All right. Rebuttal? Sure, I don't have to, I mean, I know that I'm right. Look, I keep Jeremy here because I watched the whole movie, I watched the whole documentary. J.Lo is not my favorite person on the planet. Louis says I'm right.

I will say that. Let me say this. Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation. Jeremy is envious of J-Lo. You're good. You're good. Jeremy is envious of J-Lo. And that's why all this hate comes up. Damn. TV missed it, but Juju just felt it before. As a theater kid, you look at all the opportunities she has to sing, dance, and act.

Triple threat. And you're like, should have been me. She's a double threat. She can act. She can dance. She can't sing. I'm with you, Juju. Now, you're gonna have recruited me to the other side now.

I don't know what to tell you, guys. I'm right. I'm from J, Juju. Now, you're gonna recruit me to the other side now. I don't know what to tell you, guys. I'm right. I'm from J.Lo here. Look, all this talk reminds me of back when I was a young girl living in the Bronx. My hair so wild and crazy and free. Just crazy little girl running up and down the block. Just bringing me back to that time. Did you know she was from the block?

Did you know? She and A-Rod deserve each other. They were a good couple. I wish they were still together. They were a good couple. Speaking of A-Rod. Brother, the Minnesota Timberwolves are looking better than ever bro watch out for them I definitely can see them or the Oklahoma City Thunder ending up in the Western Conference Finals because they're the two in the three seed

Because they're awesome. I watched basketball every waking second. Oh, yeah, you dig me. I Want to talk more about the Minnesota shining on them. And now every night I go outside, sit on my patio, look at my fishtail palms and drink some Miller Lite. Yeah, a lot has changed over the years. One thing that hasn't is the great taste of Miller Lite. It was the original Lite beer and to this day it's still the best one. Miller Lite has more of the taste that you want and less of the stuff that you don't. Oh, sitting outside with my family, letting the music play, and sipping Miller Lite. That is the good stuff folks. That is what life's about. Times change, but you can always enjoy the great taste of Miller Lite.

Tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan. Or you can pretty much find it anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories per 12 ounces.