The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Don't Look Now

Episode Date: March 14, 2025

Amin finally learns how Dan feels as the show completely gets away from him. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:01:10 Cuervo. The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo, cuervo.com, please drink responsibly. Cuervo. Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:28 I'm sorry, I'm not gonna apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now here's the marching man to nowhere fat face and the habitual liar
Starting point is 00:01:48 This episode of Dan Lobatow's show with Stu gots is presented by draft Kings draft Kings. The crown is yours Champagne going in sewage coming out The on the screens over here there was a commercial break so awkward On the screens over here, there was a commercial break. That's so awkward. What was awkward? Let's sit in it. Let's put that in the club. What was?
Starting point is 00:02:11 Your dismount, like your own laugh or your own joke. The champagne joke. You know what, I wasn't even laughing. You were left on an island and you were like, no, I'm not gonna be here by myself. My own laugh is gonna follow me. You know what's funny? You know who I'm most disappointed in?
Starting point is 00:02:23 You. Yeah, I understand. Why? Explain to the people watching. I understand, I wasn't there to support you. You know what's funny? You know who I'm most disappointed in? You. Yeah, I understand. Why? Explain to the people why. I understand, I wasn't there to support you. Why did I want your support? Because it's a line that I should know. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:02:32 What movie is it from? From the major motion picture, Cocktail. People forget. People forget that they did a cinephile of the son. I forget that I'm currently a good actor. The TV screen here had a commercial going for the Cadbury cream eggs. It's the same commercial Roy since 1994
Starting point is 00:02:51 where all the animals are auditioning to be the next bunny for Cadbury. They haven't changed it. They just run it back every year. Like the M&M's commercial. Like the M&M's. They do exist. He does exist and they both faint.
Starting point is 00:03:05 I would watch a Where Are They Now from those animals. Probably all dead, but if there's one or two that are still around, that used to be the one food, like the annual food that comes around every year that I would just absolutely love and I was so excited. Didn't care what time of year it was, I just wanted those Cadbury eggs, they're so good. This is my favorite origin story,
Starting point is 00:03:24 Izzy Gutierrez, former fat kid. It comes out in little glimpses, like, that Cadbury egg. Oh, there he is. So fat. Jess, I got you every Easter, just coming through like. The crazy part about me being a fat kid is I was always, I was also a very skinny kid. Like when I was like from, you know, eight, nine, 10, 11, I was like a very skinny kid. Like when I was like from eight, nine, 10, 11,
Starting point is 00:03:46 I was like a toothpick. And then my parents sent me to the Dominican Republic for three weeks. I went to this resort that had food at all hours of the day, and I came back and my mom didn't recognize me. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna lean into this.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Three weeks? Three weeks. Three weeks is all it took. I gained so much weight, and then I just kept going from there. By the time I got to eighth grade, I was plus 200 something. And you know.
Starting point is 00:04:07 Wow. Is that the betting odds on DraftKings Sportsbook? No, that's actually how much I weighed. You did not weigh 200 pounds. You did not weigh 200 pounds. As an eighth grader? Go ahead and block, because I'm gonna go find a show of.
Starting point is 00:04:18 As an eighth grader. Yeah. 200 pounds? I don't think you guys understand what 200 pounds is. 200 pounds is like, I'm trying to think like, Steph Curry might be like a shade over 200 pounds I don't think you guys understand to what 200 pounds is 200 pounds is like I'm trying to think like Steph Curry might be like a shade over 200 pounds. I was 200 plus he's one night There you go. He knows it by the fraction by the decimal like 200 pounds How tall were you you're not that's all right now?
Starting point is 00:04:39 I was about five nine five eight. Oh wow I like when I get when I got measured for How about five nine five eight? Oh wow I like when I get when I got measured for football in 10th grade I was five nine and three quarters with no shoes and the weight was I don't remember Jesus in 10th grade. I was probably hovering right around 200 I just like I just like the idea of like a buffet and then people say don't look now here comes Don't look now. Yeah, don't look now Guys gotta get ready. Sorry. It's time for a new game Don't look now Hey, don't look now was presented by Smilov the world's number one bucket. Please drink responsibly Mike
Starting point is 00:05:20 Did we childproof the main area so Mike doesn't get hurt? Little dicey. Okay watch Alright boys don't look now is he I see you looking stop looking I'm looking for a photo don't I told you what are you Looking at how can you see because I feel like they're devil also is he just so that your rest assured Mike is being child proof as we speak by Taylor. Okay, great. Taylor is literally taping him to chair. Mike, stay strong, buddy.
Starting point is 00:05:50 All right, boys, don't look now. Gardner Minshew is a chief. Whoa! How do we like that? I like it, man. Just in case, passing them half with Patrick Mahomes. I'm not supposed to look, but if I were to look, I could imagine Gardner Minshew out there running around
Starting point is 00:06:04 and trying to make big plays kind of like Patrick Mahone also Tony I must admit Gardner Minshew seems to me like a guy who's good for the vibes Oh great for the vibe right guys in a one. He's that all pro vibes guy him Baker Let's we should make an all-pro vibes list Tough Super Bowl loss the vibes are down. You need someone to bring the vibes back up? Exactly right. You need jean shorts, you need Creed, you need the mullet. Everybody gets back on track. By the way, talk about an old face new place.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Joey Bosa is a Bill. Ooh! Wow. You drink by that, boys? A little bit. It's gonna be San Francisco. Wow, brothers connection would be nice on each side of the line. Bosa to Bosa. Wait Boy, say how is this?
Starting point is 00:06:46 Just getting his arms taped to how are you looking? How do you know what's going? I didn't know what we could look at you. We just pulled our eyes. Well, you did the whole point is don't look now You're not looking now. We're looking at you though. Don't look at me. Okay. How do you know? I wasn't just told because I have to look he's got buttons to press Roy told me that Mike's arms are getting boy can look you cannot look cabinet broke back here oh I heard guys don't look now but are we not sure that Sam Donald's best years are behind him already already after signing a hundred billion dollar deal KOC now going to a new offense wait a second I don't need to look at all I knew that watching last year I was like oh this is the best year he's ever gonna
Starting point is 00:07:24 have it's not going to be anything like this ever again We all aspire to be Sam Donald, right? Yes to be like really good Not great, but really good at just the right time one good year I'm wildly compensated for rather be Tom Brady I think Mike in a blindfold with his arms taped to his torso would do better than uh, Then dude, where'd he go? Seahawks didn't do in Seattle. Where'd he go? Seahawks. The dude in Seattle.
Starting point is 00:07:46 What does he have? I mean, he's got no receivers anymore. You didn't know his name or his place of occupation? He's got JSN, Jackson Smith and Jigba, who's a nice piece. They gotta obviously do some, you know, watch for maybe Cooper Cup landing there. Healer's dead. Don't look, but watch.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Don't look now, Taylor's dead. Where is Taylor? He's a corpse. Mike has just stomped him. You guys let me know when we're ready to look again because I'll show you a picture of a... Don't look at that picture, everybody here do not look at that picture. Last one here for Don't Look Now. Don't Look Now, but the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles, basically their entire defense has been gutted and is no longer there. Hmm, I saw that. I looked. I looked. it looks I love line their safety their
Starting point is 00:08:25 corner everybody's gone when because free agency is currently happening when are we supposed to look because they have to replace those guys don't they howie roseman's got a look I don't know what's happening here hey here's a somebody tell me what's happening oh my gosh broke through the tape it's like Frankenstein's monster and now he's out he's mobile but now he's mobile that's not the right oh no oh Tony yeah it's a good thing Taylor's under there is how he Roseman is he uh is he he's not looking right now he needs to start looking is he the David Sampson of the NFL no cause I mean they won it now all
Starting point is 00:09:02 of a sudden Roseman's got two Super Bowls to David Samson's one world series That's plus they didn't do a fire sale They were getting rid of guys that probably were gonna be overpaid and free agency and guys were maybe a little bit long in the tooth Yo, sell hi By this I know I'm not looking trust me I can hear tape being utilized and I just don't understand Why Mike has to not look and not use his arms and legs. Well, the problem is that he starts moving
Starting point is 00:09:28 and then he's uncontrollable. What is this? Oh, it's a foot. If you don't tape him down, Izzy, then he starts to wreak havoc everywhere. And hurts himself as well. This is for his safety. But he's capable of busting through the tape,
Starting point is 00:09:41 as we just noticed. Well, I think that was a momentary feat of strength. I don't think it's constant. I mean, it's a pain to see for Karnavala. Oh, is it? Yeah. Isn't that what the kidnappers use? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:54 That was Don't Look Now. Oh, all right. That's Don't Look Now. It's brought to you by Smirnoff. Right? Yeah. Thank you. Like, you put that one in the club
Starting point is 00:10:05 because that time, zero confidence. You can't put the Smirnoff Reed in the Cuervo Club. I walked. Just the right. Different alcohols, dude. I walked off the cliff like Indiana Jones and I was like, I don't know if there's a step here. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:10:19 There was. There was. A leap of faith. I think Mike just took a leap of pain, I believe. He's on the floor now. Mike, you he's on the floor now Mike you can look now Someone tell Mike he can look now Mike you can look now He just found out about Minshew oh wow Kate Cunningham
Starting point is 00:10:39 What was that go do you want to start do you want me to start? Look Tony believes that he that I'm standing under a nine foot basket right now Not looking in his direction because he needs to dunk on me so badly July 25th, I will have a video for you. I mean, I'm not standing under a 10-foot rim for you to dunk on me, because I don't think you could do it. But there was a take that I had.
Starting point is 00:11:16 It wasn't even a real take. It was something that I just spit out when I was guesting on Oddball one time before I was co-host. And Tony, do you have video of it? We've got video, I'm glad you asked. And Tony, do you have video of it? Or do you just want to? I'm glad you asked. Really?
Starting point is 00:11:28 We do absolutely have video of it. This is from October, I want to say 20-something. So the season had just kind of started getting underway. We were just getting ready for things to start. Mike's trying to fix the cabinet. Are you fixing the cabinet he broke? Yeah. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:11:41 He's looking now, and he's realized everything's going all right. This segment is costing us more money than it's making us. Call Robert. Where's Robert? Is he here? No, I don Realize this segment is costing us more money Robert is here Good let's uh let's play the video of where you can see is he kind of dismiss Something that was said that obviously real Hoopers knew at the time and now real Hoopers know now Keep an eye on the Pistons this year There's no now keep an eye on the pistons this year. What? Keep a little eye on the pistons this year.
Starting point is 00:12:05 As a player it's just a little eye. Keep an eye. Cade Cunningham is special Dan. I want you to keep an eye on Cade Cunningham in the pistons this year. No he's not says Izzy. No, no he's not. I had this. I put this in the group chat last season.
Starting point is 00:12:17 I said Cade Cunningham, he's all right. He is not special. He doesn't have, I don't think he has the athleticism to be special. I don't think he has the athleticism to be special, I don't think he has the shot making to be special, I think he's a good lead guard, might make an all-star game, but I don't think he is a number one on a team that's gonna do much of anything.
Starting point is 00:12:34 We'll see. Talk me off of that, because I still believe that. All right, dude, hold on now, I know what you're doing. I know, because I'm a master of that ninja technique myself. Where it's like, I'm going to take the semantics of what I said. So now he's going to make it, it's about championships. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:50 No, it's about being the number one player on a great team. Whoa, whoa. Is that not lit? Wow, this whole table shook. Is that not literally what I said? He can't be the number one guy on a team that's going to do a whole lot of,
Starting point is 00:13:01 is that not literally what I said? He said, keep an eye on them to basically make the play awesome. No, he said he's special. I said he's not special, but that's a different semantics game. Like, your definition of special is different than mine. I still don't think he's special. I think he's a nice player. He said keep an eye on them, and you said keep a little eye.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Like, it's like, don't keep an eye on them. I mean, a sixth seed is a little eye. Thank you. How big of an idea to keep on a sixth seed. They were the worst team in the league last year. That's really cool. That's a massive improvement. Correct.
Starting point is 00:13:29 And he even a small eye on them. Like if you would have kept a big eye on him, you would have missed the Luka trade. Sure. OK, but he's 26, 6, and 9. Sure. How many turnovers? He's also, yeah, he's second in the league in turnovers.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Don't look at that. Everything I said. Don't look now. Oh, no. Oh, no. Mike, no. Oh, my god. No. Stop it. Don't look at that. Everything. Don't look now. Don't look now. Oh, no. Oh, no. Mike, no. Oh, my god. No.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Stop it. Don't look now. Tyler. Oh, he's dead. I forgot. You know what? Let's not look at last night either when they lost to the Wizards. Stop saying don't look.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Yeah, but it triggers him. And he got blocked on a game winner. OK, again. Don't look at that. Don't look at his numbers from last year where, yes, I understand He was on a worst team with the worst coach. Okay, but if you are special You elevate above those guys. You don't look as bad But what is he's done this entire year elevate and brought all those guys with no the guys are better the coaches better look I mean don't look because what you're gonna see. Don't say that, please. What you're gonna see, watch, don't look until we get.
Starting point is 00:14:27 What are you doing? Don't look, Mike. Stop using those words. Until we get to the playoffs. When we get to the playoffs, then you can look. Then you can look and you'll see a guy who can be schemed against. You'll see a guy who is, again, not the number one guy
Starting point is 00:14:43 on a team that's going to do a whole heck of a lot of winning. A number two guy, that team's gonna win a damn championship at some point, potentially. But number one guy, and to me that's not special. What makes him special as a point guard potentially is his size. His size makes him, you know, he can do some things. How about a shot making ability?
Starting point is 00:15:00 He can make some shots, but look, there's a lot of guys in the league put him in that role, they can put those numbers up. It's not that great It's not to Izzy's defense last night if I want to if I want to just boost up your argument Just last night arguments. Okay last night 9 for 25 0 for 7 from 3 4 turnovers in a loss to the Washington was nobody wants nobody wants to hear this Since trading cop your ears to Mike since yes, don't hear it now. Nobody wants to hear this. Since trading Kyle Kuzma. Cover your ears too, Mike. Yes, don't hear it now.
Starting point is 00:15:27 Nobody wants to hear this. It's a different segment. Nobody wants to hear this, but since trading Kyle Kuzma, the Wizards are way better. Way better. They're way better. Why doesn't it? People in DC want to hear that. They're damn near 500.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Look it up. He had a put back slam on his own little Miss J last night, by the way, Kyle Kuzma did. There is something funny, Tony, with the Pistons, because next week, the Pistons have now just had a nationally televised game added to their schedule. And that's here in Miami against the Heat next Wednesday. Now we know. Poor decision by the way.
Starting point is 00:15:58 We know that more likely than not, ESPN is not deciding to put that game on the air because of the heat. That's more of a Pistons thing. And when I saw that announced, I couldn't help but think, is this in response to Shaq saying he doesn't watch the Pistons? And everyone saying they need to be
Starting point is 00:16:16 on more nationally televised games as a result because they're having this fun season, everyone starts talking about them, realizing some of the most important voices in the game haven't even watched him. And yet, here we are, now all of a sudden. I would love to believe that ESPN was strictly trolling Shaq.
Starting point is 00:16:33 If you look at the scheduled flex potential, there wasn't really a lot of other screens. Yeah, this is instead of Pelikan's Grizzlies. Right. Ew, actually that's not a bad game. That's what I'm saying. That's a better game in my opinion. That's not a bad game. Xion versus Zion, it's still better game in my job versus Zion it's still that you know fake oh god Zion it's
Starting point is 00:16:48 still the fake well draft your war right who's actually better between no Mike Mike Mike no Mike look that. Him not looking is what got us here. The Wizard of the West! Is this Kate Cunningham related or no? Okay, we're good. The Wizards are five and 10 since the trade deadline and I know you were saying, I mean, that's not great. Yeah. So much better than they were.
Starting point is 00:17:16 They had nine wins. They were the worst team in the league. They had nine wins before. By the way, I don't want to sound like a hater. Just don't say the word hater, please. I think this is why, well, let's not, let's not look. Don't say the word hater! If you don't want to sound like a hater. Just don't say the word. I think this is why. Well, let's not, let's not look. Don't say the word. If you don't look now, then you won't see me as a hater.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Right? And I don't think I'm a hater. I just want to tell people my opinion hasn't changed on Cade Cunningham despite this great season. Yes, but we can all capitulate, you mostly. Everybody can capitulate on you laughing, me almost out of the room saying that the Pistons were gonna be keep an eye on the piston. I see that is not laughing you out of the room laughing
Starting point is 00:17:51 You out of the room is saying no Close both eyes. Don't look the way Mike's doing what you're supposed to I said keep a small eye and the sixth seed who's a sixth seed out West right now. Is it Houston? If I would have told you at the beginning of the season, keep a small eye on Houston, we'd do the same right now. I mean, let's say Houston. If I would have told you to keep a small eye on Houston,
Starting point is 00:18:12 would that have been an insult? Nah, it's a team that you should keep an eye on. Another team that was bad last year. Mike is now outside where people are working. Izzy, this is all on you. It's not, really. You can't say it. It's not on his fault.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Izzy, it's like the Family Guy episode where someone says hey have you heard the word like don't ask him what the word is Big man dyke over here. Oh, no Yeah, that's the same pratfall. He took last time, but he did it better this time I think last time last time he hurt himself dive. Yeah, he took a dive last time Okay, all we have to do is say it's like a bump Cade Cunningham is gonna be come back play of the year He's already I think odds on that the word They stop giving that award because it kept going to people who come back from drug rehab. Yeah Wrestling tell me took a bump. No, no come back
Starting point is 00:19:00 Which I think you should bring back the interview team because I'll encourage people to do interviews damn it Yeah speaking of all of this Which I think you should bring back the all interview team because it'll encourage people to do interviews damn it Yeah speaking of all of this Mike you can look now Mike you can look cuz I want to talk about we're good Mike I want to talk about tennis Mike Mike can we talk about tennis? No, he's eating a bagel now out of Ethan's hands. Yeah I'm uncomfortable with all this. I do blame you again Izzy But why because you kept using the word the two words you can't use. You can't use.
Starting point is 00:19:28 You can have that same conversation. Just don't use those two words. It's a sponsored segment. Not anymore. It says right there, don't look now. It said it, he just walked in. I'm tired. God. Izzy, it's not a small second anymore because
Starting point is 00:19:49 The liability they don't want the insurance is too high. I don't think that's true By the way not come back player of the year, but most improved player of the year He's odds on favorite to win. Is he odds on favorite? I hate because he's not the most improved player. He's on a team with better teammates and a better coach That's what makes them better Dyson Daniels second. So good. He should be most and a better coach. That's what makes them better. By the way, Dyson Daniels second. So good. He should be most improved player.
Starting point is 00:20:04 Dyson Daniels, I put it over there. D-Poy too. That dude would lock Kade up. Or down. Who's one? Lock him up or lock him down? Who's one? Lock him up.
Starting point is 00:20:12 For D-Poy? Yeah. Right now is Evan Mobley. Minus 225 on Drafting Sports with Dyson Daniels plus 500. Jaren Jackson Jr., who's obviously hurt, still plus 900 at three. And climbing in. Sneaking in.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Jeremon Green plus 900. Ooh, doimbing in now sneaking in dream on green Do a podcast where's bam where is bad was there nothing on that bagel that was shoved in Mike's mouth It looked very dry should be careful. You could choke BAM is actually behind Lou Dort who's plus 1500 she who's plus 3500 zoo bots who's plus 10,000 Jalen Williams plus 15,000 which one? J-dub and then BAM is plus 15,000 15,000 Article that said he might be top two and he's actually 15,000
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Starting point is 00:23:34 Speaking of opportunity, download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at netsuite.com slash dlb. The guide is free to you at netsuite.com slash DLB netsuite.com slash DLB. Don LeBattard. If Daniel Day-Lewis did it, you'd be jerking off all over yourself. Oh, come on. Yeah, I would be aggressive description. I mean, what is it?
Starting point is 00:23:57 What is that? I'm just saying, you know what? That's me. You're saying what? That's me. That was something Bruce did yesterday. Yeah. I see that photo of Daniel Day-Lewis looking like Lincoln before he's about to start filming
Starting point is 00:24:08 Lincoln and you know what I do? I mean? Stugats. I jerk off all over myself. That's what I do. Lincoln who you outed the other day? Don't make this a rejoin. This is the Don LeVatar Show with the Stugats.
Starting point is 00:24:22 Mike come on back here. You can look now because I want to make everybody's stare at Shay Gilder's Alexander for a second. This is a good topic for you, Tony. You want to talk hoop, right? Shay, I will tell you, I will admit to you, he's special. That guy can be the number one. Yes, he's special. I don't believe I'm saying anything crazy here.
Starting point is 00:24:38 He can be the number one on a team that wins a championship. I just want to know what people's like likeability, like what they actually think of him. Is he a guy? Because the reason this came up in my head is was like, when if ever will Shea get embraced? When will America like Shea? Will it have to be him winning a finals,
Starting point is 00:24:58 winning finals MVP? And I thought to myself, no, it's not going to happen. If it was going to happen, it would have happened already the same way it's with Anthony Edwards or you know, whenever Zion Williamson plays, like people love him. People don't love Shay Gilder's Alexander. And I'm trying to figure out why. And to me, I think he's pretty funny.
Starting point is 00:25:18 You think he's funny? Oh, that's Shane Gillis Alexander. That guy. Different, different, different. You can put your different don't look, because we're just. Jesus Christ. I mean, if you're gonna mistake one for the other, just don't look.
Starting point is 00:25:31 How's that empanada by the way? It's a bagel. Oh, see, I knew it was a bagel. I'm getting lied to constantly in my ears today, I'm just saying. You deserve it. Why? You deserve it?
Starting point is 00:25:41 You've wrecked this show. I've wrecked the show. You wrecked this show. This segment at least. By continuing a sponsored segment and telling Mike not to look now and he's getting fed. There we go. You know, by other people. This is a great bit for Mike.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Like he gets to walk around and not look at anything and he gets fed. He just got his face on the door. I mean. Are you going to explain to Cynthia later why he's got welts all over him? What is this, like an In-N-Out-E severance situation? Like I have to have a note with him and say, hey, the reason you have things on your, look, Shay Gildes Alexander, why don't people like him?
Starting point is 00:26:11 Is it small market? Is it that he was with the Clippers and kind of was on the back? Anthony Edwards is in a small market. Sure, but he's got a big personality. You know it? I know why I don't like Izzy. Oh, Izzy, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:20 I don't want any of that bagel, if that's what you're doing here, Mike. Well, guess what? Guess what? This is what you do. Don't look, Izzy, bud. This is what you courted. We're trying to tell you you got to keep away from these trigger phrases and you won't Is there cream cheese is all over His hair which is also cream cheese colored so
Starting point is 00:26:57 This is your Dominican Republic three weeks right here Can we put up the photo be while I'm eating of fat me next to the kid from Modern Family? Oh no way. Because we're pretty much the same person. No way. We have that? No way. You look like Manny.
Starting point is 00:27:11 I'm telling you. Hold on. What is his name, Manny? Yeah, Manny. Yeah, there it is. Look at that. Oh no. Who's who, I ask you.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Who is who? Oh my God. Look for a second. For a quick second. Look where you are. And now look at this camera. Look at the monitor. Oh my god. That's me on the left, that's Manny. That's you on both? That's you on both.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Oh. I'm legit gonna eat the rest of this. Don't look, Mike. Don't say it. Oh man. Get away, there's a camera for you. Turn away. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:27:44 It cost $100,000. No, no, no, no. It costs $100,000. No, no, you're right. You know, to Tony's defense, Cade is one of two players along with Nikola Jokic, who's top 10 in both assists and points this year. Wow. Great number two, that guy. Like Janis.
Starting point is 00:27:58 I don't even want to stay on this because it's like, especially because I'm going anti-Tony. But you've capitulated, you know. And Tony's the one who, no I haven't. I just put cream cheese on my face. Confused to. Taylor, just get him out of here, man. This is, he's stuck behind the goddamn thing. He's stuck behind the thing.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Where's Taylor? We got Taylor in here. Taylor's the Mike Wrangler, he's got him, he's got him. I just don't want to be seen as a hater. It feels like, it feels like you're here. Taylor's the Mike Wrangler. He's got him. He's got him. Last one. I just don't want to be seen as a hater. It feels like you're a hater. I am just properly putting him in his slot while everybody else. Look, I'm doing him a favor.
Starting point is 00:28:33 See, if you set the expectations too high. Wow, what a pickup from Taylor. For the audio audience, Taylor is currently picking up Mike and walking him out of the studio. Mike was stuck behind some panels. Izzy has cream cheese all over his face. Doors are wide open. Possibly egg too.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Just painting a picture. And also not a cave hater. Not a caterer. You want a napkin? I mean, what do we got, 13 minutes? I can deal. Okay, no, no. Get that dried on your face there.
Starting point is 00:29:00 Oh, crying. I kind of like the smell, because like I said, I haven't eaten cream cheese in forever. They got vegan cream cheese Yeah, that's not now. Of course not. Why not the same? Why not? But guess what is your meme now? So man bugs or whatever. That's a mean But to answer your question is it that Is that Shay doesn't have a huge personality like Anthony Edwards is it that I understand they're both in small markets
Starting point is 00:29:27 I've AT&T Ched Holmgren commercial with Shay does not move the needle for I have answers I have answers for you number one and people think it doesn't matter, but it does he's Canadian. Yeah number two While a nice guy not really bubbling on the charisma meter. Wait, the Canadian thing. People like Steve Nash just fine. Look, Steve Nash was MVP of the league twice, right? Like it took a lot for Steve Nash to get to that point.
Starting point is 00:29:59 You think about Steve Nash was a perennial All-Star. He had to win MVPs. He was perennial All-Star before winning MVPs. He wasn't like a face of the league. He was like, okay, he's an All-Star. He had to win MVPs. He was perennial all-star before winning MVPs. He wasn't like a face of the league. He was like, okay, he's an all-star. He's pretty good. Okay. Number three, this one's big.
Starting point is 00:30:12 It's not just you play in a small market. You play in the smallest, dullest, most boring market with an organization that does not want publicity. But that doesn't matter. It does. Okay. Kevin Durant. Thank you. Again, Kevin Durant, MVP.
Starting point is 00:30:27 Russell Westbrook, MVP. But those guys weren't, well, not Russell, but. In the year that we won and some of the groups that were in that one. Mike's in the video room. I looked at. Get him out of there! Lock him in the green room, please.
Starting point is 00:30:38 I think Mike, Mike, Mike, you can look now, because what you did is you just put your boy Marshawn on the screen, and that's not what you want to do. It's Flutterpanther now. Yeah. Let's go. Mike, you can look. Come on back.
Starting point is 00:30:50 I don't look. I believe an Oklahoma... You just said, look again. You just said, I don't look. It happened. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry to everybody.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I finally know how Dan feels They can't wait for that phone call forgive me, but the show got away from me People really liked KD before he won an MVP like you can be you can be an OKC and be likable I think it has everything to do with his game I think it has everything to do with his game. I think it has everything to do with the fact that he sort of operates in the middle of the floor, not really like dynamic, athletic, just kind of, you know, footwork and grace and ability,
Starting point is 00:31:36 and obviously the shot making. But if people clamor for the mid-range and what used to happen back in the day, like you're asking for 48 minutes of what Shay does. And what Shay does, again, while it can carry a team, is not like I must watch this guy play. It's not like Anthony Edwards, it's not like John Moran, it's not like Steph Curry, it's not like any of these guys,
Starting point is 00:31:57 it's not like Dwayne Wade back in the day. Or even Kay. Can I give a very weird comp for Shay Gilder's Alexander? It's not exactly the same, but it's very similar. John Belushi? Interesting. Sam Cassell. Oh.
Starting point is 00:32:12 I don't see that at all. I'll tell you how. It's all off rhythm, off tempo stuff, getting you with the herky jerky. It's all ball bearings. Unorthodox. It is all ball bearings these days. It's all pipes.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Unorthodox, right? But also big time shot making. I mean the only reason I would say it's different is because you know, Shay does it with his length and Sam was not that person. He was a 6'1", shorter shooter. Yeah, he's smaller than Shay. I mean he absolutely killed a pick and roll
Starting point is 00:32:41 with Elton Brand. I don't know if Shay is exactly that type of guy that makes his bigs better. I think he does make his bigs better. I mean, I think he's absolutely incredible at that. But it's a lot about the off-tempo stuff. What you're describing, as you're describing, like, oh, it sounds like Sam Cassell,
Starting point is 00:32:57 because all the guys you're describing are like, explosive, get by guys, whatever, and this guy's doing footwork, he's doing it with shiftness, he's doing it with like a level of subterfuge and craft. Oh wow. But he is a three level scorer, right? Like he's got the three ball, he's got mid range,
Starting point is 00:33:13 he can get into the hoop, like he's a very all around player. So when you say he talks about footwork and tries to like deceive guys into playing, it almost sounds like Paul Pierce, right? Like Paul was very much like a, let me slow down. Let me try and get something off one leg. Let me do something different. And who does Izzy hate?
Starting point is 00:33:31 The truth. There you go. That's why he hates Cade. That's why people have been lying in his ears all show. Look, or don't look, it's totally up to you. 15 years from now, Tony, let's revisit this conversation. Because I don't think at any point. What year is it?
Starting point is 00:33:48 2025, all right. On the 35th anniversary of the Dan Leventar Show, when Mike is finally looking again. The show will not. And doing another recap of this bit right here. We can talk about Cade Cunningham again. The show won't last that long, because Mike will have destroyed the building.
Starting point is 00:34:03 Well, did he fix the the cabinet or is that still? No, he broke it again. It was fixed now. It's broken. All right, Mike. You want you want to talk about tennis? There you go. That's it. Hey, get him back. Look now Indian Wells Mike. Have you ever been in the way you can look back? It's all good the fifth major. Yes subject to debate. What's the fifth major to you Indian Wells or Miami? No Indian Wells, dude It's been a boat. I've been to both. It? Indian Wells or Miami? No Indian Wells dude. I've been to both. I've been to both. It's Indian Wells. What makes it more of a major? Because Miami's got more prize money. I'll tell you what makes it more of a major. When I walk into Wimbledon, what's the venue I'm walking into? At Wimbledon. I don't know the stadium, but the hill? Murray Hill. It was Wimbledon Stadium.
Starting point is 00:34:45 When I walk into the US Open, what am I walking into? Arthur Ashe Stadium. When I walk into the French Open. Roland Garros. When I walk into the Australian Open. I don't know. It's at Melbourne Tennis Stadium. When I walk into the Miami Open,
Starting point is 00:35:01 I'm walking into where the Dolphins and the Hurricanes play. I think a lot of the feedback, because this has been a debate in tennis circles, is it was Miami when it was in Key Biscayne, but Hard Rock Stadium, which I think, like, having gone, I actually never experienced Key Biscayne, ever. Really?
Starting point is 00:35:16 Yeah, and it's one of my great regrets, but I always thought it was too much of a hassle as a local, and Hard Rock Stadium is just as a campus. For the Miami Open, it's easy to get around. Like, I really enjoy the Miami Open there. Is Indian Wells, is that the tournament that Venus and Serena stopped playing because of racist situations?
Starting point is 00:35:33 I'm learning so much. But that's the one out in LA, right? It's the one out in LA, right? It's in the desert. It's in Palm Springs. It's outside of Palm Springs. Yeah, the wind has been crazy this year. It is, look, when I want to go to a tennis, I want to feel like I'm in tennis. It's in Palm Springs. It's outside of Palm Springs. Yeah, the wind has been crazy this year.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Look, when I want to go to a tennis, I want to feel like I'm in tennis. Yeah, understood. And going to the Miami Open, which I've been to, it doesn't feel like tennis. It's weird. They've got risers and stuff. And I'm like, you're out of place.
Starting point is 00:35:58 Fair enough. Whereas Indian Wells, I feel like I'm in that environment. And for anyone who's never been to tennis, and you're like, I don't watch tennis Trust me. It is a top-tier sport Experience to go live live in person. Oh my god Jeremy just said the two best words anybody can hear game seven. You're right quote the white people at Indian Wells To what they've been wanting to say all along to us finally came out What they've been wanting to say all along to us finally came out.
Starting point is 00:36:25 Quote, end word, stay away from here. We don't want you here. So they boycotted for 14 years. I mean, he's looking at an old version of ESPN.com right now. Oh yeah, so they boycotted for 14 years. Oh, like page two? Is that page two? Yeah, like look at this boy.
Starting point is 00:36:39 Bill Simmons is the sports guy? Yeah, flip it over. Look at that. Oh wow, it doesn't even fill the screen. There's so many of those that were like, I think the Bill Simmons columns with like a wacky background. The sports guy.
Starting point is 00:36:50 It wasn't Bill Simmons, it was the sports guy, right? I like Indian Wells as a viewing experience more because of the time that it airs. And it is, you're right, it's more of a proper tennis campus. And even though I'm a Miami guy through and through, and I've never actually been to Indian Wells, and Miami has more prize money,
Starting point is 00:37:06 I would concede that now that it is a hard rock stadium, that the main stadium being more antiseptic, less of a traditional tennis stadium. You guys are talking about from the fans' perspective. The reason I asked the Venus and Serena question. From a player's perspective too, I think more major players, even though there's a lot of crossover,
Starting point is 00:37:23 you probably see better quality players over at Indian Wells, where some top players avoid Miami. But you didn't see Venus and Serena for 14 years at Indian Wells. And the next tournament is in Miami. So I always thought, wow, Miami's the one to pay attention to. I mean, you watch the men in any big tournament,
Starting point is 00:37:40 it's going to be the same three or four guys, right? So I'm thinking, yeah, Miami's the place to go. I get to go see Serena. It's an excellent point, but there's been some great tennis being played, and I have a shocking observation. Hold on, before you do that, I have an update. 10 years ago yesterday, Serena Williams returned
Starting point is 00:37:56 to Indian Wells, so boom, is he? It was a 14-year boycott. 14-year boycott from 2001 to 2015. And then it ended. Not quite the boom you were expecting there, I think. It is, it ended. Boom. Boom, there it is.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Where's Chris with a bang when we need it? People forget. That pain bang. What are your observations, Michael? I have the most, I think there's a hot take. Okay. But I think there's a player right now who's 38 years old, who's the most athletically gifted tennis player
Starting point is 00:38:23 of all time. Oh, it's your boy. I time. I think Gail Monfies is the most athletic tennis player to ever live. He's fun. He's got all the tools, he's never really put it all together, it's incredible what he's doing at 38. I mean, father went away. I don't really know how he's doing it.
Starting point is 00:38:38 But he's playing. He's 38? He's 38 and he's bright now. You can make an argument that Alcaraz is gonna be in that conversation. Djokovic was plenty athletic. I wasn't old enough to watch him play, but Janek Noah, if I Google it,
Starting point is 00:38:55 most athletic tennis players, obviously the father of Joachim Noah, so great athletic genes there, but I think Gail Monfies might be the most athletic tennis player of all time, at least on the men's side. I mean, that's a great take. It also shows you how disappointing his career was. He should have won more.
Starting point is 00:39:10 It also shows you the era that he played in and how great everybody else was. But I don't remember him constantly losing just to those guys. As a 38-year-old, seeing how competitive he is right now, if he were in this era, if the prime of his career were in this era, he might have won a major. And by the way, I'm not gonna sleep on him
Starting point is 00:39:27 for the French Open this year, I'm not. He's playing really well. This is the part where if Dan were here, he'd ask, doesn't that make you guys wanna ask questions, how a 38-year-old in a sport where no one ever? But you guys though, not me. I don't wanna ask those questions. I want you to ask just in case.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Does it have to be Alcaraz, is this like a Uruguay situation? Or can you say Alcaraz? You can say Alcaraz or Alcaraz. I'm never doing the thuh. Can you say Uruguay for me? Uruguay. That's really good. Uruguay and Paraguay.
Starting point is 00:39:56 I like saying it like that. I know it's a choice that I'm making. But check out this rally from Gael Monfise. This is from a few days ago. And this is him at 38 years old against Demetrov. This was an amazing match. I think it was a 34 shot rally at one point here. But this is an example.
Starting point is 00:40:09 And one of Gale's nicknames is Slider Man because when he's on the clay surface, his athleticism really jumps off the screen there. But look at his range of motion, his ability to get to some of these balls at 38 years old. It would absolutely make Dan LeBattard ask, what is going on there? Speaking of balls, the groin strength,
Starting point is 00:40:28 when you play it, what is it? Roland Garros on the clay. Oh my God, I feel like those guys are gonna strain their groin every single time. I'm gonna tell you, I play topspin a lot. And every time I got to go- The old one with Carlos Moya? Really?
Starting point is 00:40:43 I did, but now they got a new one that came out last year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw that. But the Dreamcast one with Jim old one with Carlos Moya, I did but now they got a new one that came out Yeah, yeah, I saw that but the dreamcast one with Jim The one that came with dude, I would skip school to play that Jeremy. We teased it. So we got to go to your top five Situational guy. Oh, yeah top five situational guys. No L. O. L. I's in this one. Quick correction. I'm confusing it with virtue of tennis number five Julius Randall. Number four, Mike the Situation Sorrentino. Never heard his last name before, also never saw an episode of that show.
Starting point is 00:41:15 What? Number three, Rudy Gobert. Two of the best on the same team. Number two, Christmas. Two of the best on the same team. Number two, Christmas. Oh. And number one, 60-year-old Barry Bonds against right-handed pitching.
Starting point is 00:41:31 Why wouldn't the Marlins just do that? Because people forget. They forget how good he was. I mean, I know they already tried it. But now, seriously, just do it. 60-year-old lefties. Just against righties. Don't look now but
Starting point is 00:41:45 Barry Bonds career is still no idea oh no get the whole thing that way it's gonna be a mess

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