The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Don't Shoot The Messenger (feat. Tim Kurkjian)

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

"Who the hell is Dave Dameshek?" Tim Kurkjian is here for a slew of new Looks Like submissions and to break down the Hall of Fame inductees, which is not good news for Greg Cote because we have the receipts of his old HOF takes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today, and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan. Live well for life.

Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by Draft Kings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys?

I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Levitart show is presented by Draft Kings. Draft Kings, the crown is yours. Dan, I have a new favorite paparazzi photo ever. It was Nicole Kidman after her divorce with Tom Cruise's finalites where she's like so free in the air. You know what I'm talking about?

We have a new one. William Shatner was caught driving with a bowl of cereal eating. Wow. Yeah. Is he driving? He's driving. He's at a red light there. My Ryan thinks it's like a promo because he thinks it's frosted flakes,

but I don't even know if that's Froston Trace Brins. That could be like a raisin brand. That's like Rizant brand. You can't like really tell exactly what that's real. So I don't know if this is like PR or not. But I do know that even if it was or was not PR, he got a bowl of cereal. He put the cereal in, he put milk, and then he went for a drive. How old is he?

Ninety-four. Yeah. He looks great. He's like old. Frosted flakes glisten more. Shops at the same hat store as Michael Lombardi. 94 years old, driving is already a dicey proposition. He looks awesome for 94.

I think this is a setup. I don't know for what. Maybe he's got some kind of project coming out, but this seems like a stage to photo. He watched always sunny. He watched always sunny, and he got the idea and went, yep, that's the way to do things. I think Lucy's right. The best part of this is not that he's eating or even eating something out of a bowl while driving. You have to figure, he poured the milk in it before getting into the car,

because you're not bringing, you know, a gallon of milk in the car. He is eating that like a vet, though. That is bowl to chin. The gap there's no gap. He is not spilling. There's zero spillage there. If there is spillage, it goes right back in the bowl. That is a man that has eaten cereal in a car many a time.

I'm so sorry to do this to our video team, but have you all seen the video of Michael Rapopor eating on traitors? He puts the whole plate in his mouth and just like slides it in. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. Like, I didn't know humans ate like that. It's nuts. About a decade ago, because as society's greatest empath, I don't make New Year's resolutions selfishly just for myself. I make them for all of society.

And about a decade ago, my New Year's resolution for all of us was to replace plates with bowls. They are a better delivery system than plates for almost everything. Outside a steak, you know, like you want to be able to cut the steak. But outside of that, bowls over plates. Thank you. Put it on the pole. Should we replace bowls with plates and is Damashchak society's greatest empath? Put those both on the poll.

I see the delightful Tim Kirchon has arrived. This always makes us and the listeners and the viewers happy. How do you eat, Tim? Who do you prefer bowl or plate? I'll take a bowl just so it stays in the bowl. I made dinner last night and I put it in a bowl when most people would put it on a plate. Either way, it's good with me. I eat for fuel, not much more than that.

I'm the opposite. I eat soup out of a plate. I don't get much soup. Thanks, Tim. Hi, Greg. How are you doing? Good? Yeah.

Good talking to you. Can I start off with a question for Tim? The Hall of Fame vote happens, right? What a bad ballot. Two got Beltron and Andrew Jones get in. All of the first ballot guys got like 0.5% except Cole Hamels. What were your overall thoughts about the election? Yeah, well, it wasn't a bad ballot, but it was, I usually vote for 10 guys for the Hall of Fame.

And there were a couple years there that if I had had 15, 16, 17 votes, which I don't, because 10 is the maximum. I would have voted for 17 guys. Yeah. Well, Tim, this year, this year I voted for three. I'm not proud of that,

but I voted for Carlos Beltron, Andrew Jones, and Chase Utley. And the rest, you know, I had trouble leaving Dustin Padreoff and Felix Hernandez and people like that because I think those guys have a Hall of Fame case.

But for, I guess I'm a big hall guy to only vote for three guys, maybe speaks to what the ballot look like this year. And you're right, the first timers was not a strong group of first timers. I was surprised Cole Hamill's. I came close to voting for him, but he got 25% of the vote, which is pretty darn good for a first time on the ballot. But you're right, Greg. I've seen way, way, way stronger ballots than this one. Yeah. And when I say it was a weak ballot, I agree with you. Normally you vote for 10. I think I voted for five or six.

But Cole Hamels, I get criticized as a voter for holding sacrosanct the first ballot guy. I'm never going to vote for a guy his first year on the ballot unless I really think he deserves it. I have another criticism for you today. You want to tell people how you voted because you mentioned Andrew Jones. You're a really inconsistent voter. I don't think you remember how you voted previously. Yeah, I didn't vote for Andrew Jones for years. And I was in the majority for that.

But what the hell changed? What changed is that some guys... He's an eighth-year guy. Some guys are elite Hall of Famers and some guys are borderline Hall of Famers. But why not last year? Why this year and why not next year? Like, what are you doing? Andrew Jones...

Let's create tears for the Hall of Fame then, if we're going to allow people in, if we're going to reconsider them 15 years later. Okay, all I can tell you is I'm in the majority here. Because the majority went eight years without voting for Andrew Jones and then gradually over time, the appreciation for him increased, the appreciation for his defense, for what have you. But he's a borderline Hall of Famer.

I will tell you why you're not in the majority. None of those voters did what you did socially when you said why you weren't voting for Andrew Jones five years ago. So short question. Well, I mean, I'll just make a statement. I feel like either guy's a Hall of Famer or he's not a Hall of Famer. Okay, there's that. But there is someone called, I'll give him the credit,

someone called Reed Stewart, great follower of yours on Twitter, Okay, loves you apparently. Reed Stewart, but he dug up an old tweet ears, all right? And it's with an old ballot of yours from five years ago. And on your ballot, you explained, appreciate all of your comments on my Hall ballot, but one thing jumps out. You Andrew Jones folks are delusional. Seriously, good player.

Hall, not close. Zero shot at Cooperstown. No. Don't shoot the messenger. Okay. Oh, no, dad. I agreed that that tweet does not age well, but I also quote the famous Zaslow, who just recently on this air said, my opinion changed. Okay.

But my opinion changed with more body of work. You didn't have any more body of work. Tim, is that offensive? What you just saw, I think Greg Cody should have his vote revoked, like they did to me. No. Now, let me attempt to explain one reason why some guys just get on, they start getting. votes because some years there are, as I've said, 15 guys on the ballot and five of them, I believe are Hall of Famers, but you can't vote for them because there's not enough room.

In a year like this, when there is plenty of room in my mind for a player to move up on, that's how you get left off one year and put on the next because there is room or there is not room. With Andrew Jones, again, 400 homers and 10 gold gloves, you know, that's Mays, Griffey, Mike Schmidt, Andrew Jones. That's it. That's a pretty short list. And again, I'm almost 70. And I saw Willie Mays play. And Andrew Jones, other than Willie Mays, is the best defensive centerfielder that I've ever seen. When I was at S I wrote a story on the most difficult play at each position. Like when you charge a bunt and have to bear handed at third base, who's the best of that? Well, I took center field and I said the hardest play for a center

fielder is the ball hit directly over his head. And when I started looking around and talking to players about who's the best of this, I brought up Ken Griffey Jr. to several of the San Diego Padres. And they literally laughed at me and said, Tim, there is nobody who's ever been better at going back on a ball over his head in center field than Andrew Jones. Now, I maintain Willie Mays was better, but Andrew Jones is that good. And he's the second best defensive center fielder I've ever seen, and he hit 435 homers. That's why I voted for him. I would add that there are gradations of Hall of Famers, and it's not a mystery or a crime

when a guy takes eight years to get in. It took Beltran four years to get in. King Felix took a big spike in voting this year, which suggests he's going to get in. But again, if you make it your first year, you're an elite Hall of Famer. If you make it your eighth year, you're a borderline Hall of Famer. They're all in Cooperstown,

but there are different grades and levels of Hall of Famers. Are you done tweeting that a guy's 0% though? You're probably going to learn that lesson. Okay, based on the electorate then, he seemed to have zero chance. You're not going to say, all right. You're going to double down? No, but you said he's not a whole. I said based on the electorate, then he had zero chance, which he did.

I did not expect to. You're going to defend what you did. Okay, some, and Tim will agree with me on this. In the eighth, ninth, tenth, year, sometimes you get a bump. You get a sentimental bump because voters realize this is your last chance or you're coming up to your last. You're either a Hall of Famer, you're not, Greg. Okay, well, you know, that maybe that's, sentimental bump. Maybe that's why they stripped your vote from you.

They should strip yours. Like, I can't believe what he just did. Like, what he just read, zero chance on Andrew Jones and five years later, when he's played no baseball games, now he's a Hall of Fame. Okay, so like, I'm the first voter who has changed his mind about a player. Get in the real world and grow up on that. Okay? Andrew Jones did not make the Hall of Fame for seven years. Gradually, the support for him increased.

I was part of that gradual support. You're sheep. You're a lemming. We're not electing a pope. whether or not you're in the Hall of Fame. Are you worthy of it when your name comes up or not? Me and Zaz park our cars in the same garage. Tim, put it on the poll at Levitard show.

Do Damashik and Zaz park their cars in the same garage? And does Tim Ed Malloy, NBA referee Ed Malloy, look like the guy who brushes his teeth in the company bathroom? He absolutely does. That is unbelievable how much he looks like that. Does Adam Silver, Tim, look like a knitting needle? Does Adam Silver look like a magician's wand? Does Adam Silver, when he's standing next to Larry Bird,

do they look like the couple in the famous painting American Gothic? The Zoom kills us on the show. the looks like segment because his laugh doesn't do a phone hit next time it doesn't make a sound when he's laughing quick break to talk to you about miller light a partner of ours basically since our show's inception miller light has been there for so many great memories especially recently this wintertime lots of trips to texas one arizona surrounded by friends welcoming in a new year and toasting that beautiful white can of miller light my favorite beer and an incredible partner For almost half of its 50-year existence,

Miller Light has been partnered up with the Dan Levitard show and we could not be more grateful. Some of my most legendary moments have started with, let's get some Miller Lights. Whether it be a buddy's house, a watch party, at the game, or post-game, you crack open a Miller Light, you take a sip, you look around at your friends and you think, yeah, this was the right call. You're locked into the game, the conversation, the moment,

not thinking about what you're drinking, Miller Light just fits. Legendary moments start with Miller Light. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to Miller Lite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Drap King's Sportsbook, the number one sportsbook for live betting, is turning up the stakes this NFL playoffs. Every Sunday, every Draft King's customer has a shot at over $2.5 million in prizes. How it works. Open the Draft King Sportsbook app and opt in. Place a live bet at just $1 or more on Sunday's playoff games. And every live bet gives you another chance to win. The more you bet live, the more entries you stack all Sunday long. Download the Draft King's Sportsbook app right now and use code Dan.

Bet live for your share of $2.5 million in prizes with code Dan. In partnership with Draft Kings, the crown is yours. Gambling problem call 1-800 gambler. New York, call 8778-8-8-Hope-N-Wire. Text Hope and Y. Connecticut, call 888-78-9-7-77- Or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas, wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois.

21 and over in most states. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. No purchase necessary. Three sweepstakes with separate opt-ins. Minimum odds minus 500. Prizes, either bonus bets that expire in seven days or single-use profit boost. See official rules at dkng.

com slash live millions for entry period and free method of entry. Sponsored by Crown Gaming Inc. You don't remember the idea for home runoff? I was probably like, that kind of thing. Something. Okay, no, the home run call was, that kind of swing, that kind of thing. Stugats. Oh, it's a good call.

Thank you. And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. Like, you're not tailing it to a particular name. You know, all that jazz, you know, you don't got to do that. You're just a generic call. That kind of swing, that kind of thing. This is the Dan Lebatar show with a Stoob star. God.

Tim, there are a lot of people pissed off about Kyle Tucker to the Dodgers, and now the athletic is reporting that there's 100% going to be a work stoppage because of what has happened with the Dodgers and payroll. They're going to have a payroll over 400 million in 2026. Only three other teams are going to be over 300 million. The Marlins and the raise project under 100 million. What are your thoughts there? I think there's going to be a work stoppage also, although I pray all the time that that doesn't happen.

I'm not blaming all of this on the Dodgers because the Dodgers do an exceptional job of drafting and developing. And when they get a player from another team, he routinely gets better when he comes to the Dodgers. But there's no doubt there are major issues in disparity among the small market team. and the big market teams, and it's not going to be solved by a salary cap because there's just no way the players are going to allow that to happen. So are the Dodgers a part of the problem? Of course they are, but so are the Mets and the Yankees and a bunch of other teams. And baseball needs to fix this, and it is not going to be an easy fix.

Does Dave Damashek look like a realtor that would buy a billboard that reads, license to sell while posing like James Bond. I'm sorry, fellas. Who is Dave Damachek? Am I supposed to know? Oh, this is a fair highlight. Tim Kirchin doesn't know who the hell is Dave Damashek. I'm over the moon, Tim Kirch.

That's okay. If you didn't know that one, you might not know this one either. Does Jonathan Zaslow look like your big toe after hitting it on the corner of the bed? Why is that the one he laughs the hardest at? Does Jonathan? He knows Sassel, but he doesn't know Damash. I'm sorry. That is so insult.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know that. By the way, none of this matters. But I wear shoes 24, except for when I go to bed and get in the shower, I wear shoes and socks in the house, period. Because my father, who was a very smart man, used to tell us, you have a game tonight. don't break your big toe smashing it up against the couch.

Put your shoes on. So I, they're on all the time. And now when I go into my daughter's house, I have to take off my shoes and put on house shoes that they bought me for Christmas because those house shoes have not been outside bringing dirt into the house. So now I can still keep my shoes on at my daughter's house, but there are, a special kind of shoe that I have to wear, shoes that have never been worn outside. Am I being wrong about this that I really enjoy having shoes on my feet for protection and for warmth?

I just want to know how many times your father banged his toe and couldn't play in a game that night. My dad was a good player, and my two older brothers were great college baseball players, and my dad was just not going to allow one of his three boys to get hurt doing something stupid and miss a game that night. I don't think my dad ever missed a game. That wasn't the point. He didn't want it to happen. And I used to tell my daughter, it was a great high school basketball player.

Put your shoes on. You have a game tonight. I used to tell her that all the time. I told her that the other day. She's 34 years old. She hasn't played basketball in 15 years. Never heard of her. My daughter made 54 out of 56 free throws, her senior

year in high school. 54 at a 56. That's 96.4%. And get this, I'm so terrible technology. But I went to a video editor the other day who took the four-minute tape of my daughter's senior year in high school, her basketball tape, and he put it on my phone. So now in my photos, I have a four-minute video that all I have to do is press a button, and I can watch a video of my daughter's senior year in 100%. school. Is that ridiculous? Am I being stupid about that too? Does it bring you to tears? And I'm not being facetious. Yeah. It does. Greg just voted her into

the Hall of Fame. Yes, I did. Thank you. And my grandson is now five, and he went to basketball the other day for the first time. Five years old. He was four when he went the first time. He just turned five. And he was clearly the best player there. And his dad said, boy, you have the best shooting form, Karkar, of anybody there. And he said, well, I learned it from Mommy. And that's because he watched the tape that I made a Mommy senior year

with the perfect follow-through and the perfect finish. Talk about holding the finish. It was great. And my daughter's like three feet tall, and she made 54 out of 56. So please, don't tell me NBA players can't shoot free throws. If you

work at it, you can. How about that? Does Jonathan Zaslow look like he says, uh-oh, Spaghetti-O when he sees someone pulled over. He loves mine. Well, this one's a good one. Does Jonathan Zazlo look like an off-duty mime? That one's exceptional. I've got some, I've got a handful of Kurtzignettis for you.

Are you ready for some Kurtzegnettys? Does he look like the dad who never says I love you? Does he look like your accountant, who, unbeknownst to you, is in the middle of a crippling divorce? Yesterday, no one ever tweets at me, ever, which is fine. And then yesterday I looked on there, like, 50 tweets sent to me because of you put it out there, that so-and-so looks like so-and-so. It was hilarious. Does Kurt Signetti look like the uncle who comes to your house for Thanksgiving,

and before even saying hello says your doorknobs loose. I have one of my own, which I think I've told you before, that some guy tweeted at me several years ago. Tim Kirchon looks like what Steve Correll is going to look like when he gets really, really old. That's not bad. That's not bad. And I looked at him up, Steve Carell is only six years younger than this.

me. I look like he's going to look like when he gets not really old, really, really old. Does Fernando Mendoza look like he makes his animal crackers fight each other before he eats them? This is a good one. Does Fernando Mendoza look like the cashier in a 1960s McDonald's poster? That one is exceptional. I saw that. I saw that. Dave Dombrovsky said it was a gut punch, Tim, to see Bichette go to the Mets and then started talking a lot about not feeling like they had a deal done because the deal's never done until it's done. But I was surprised to hear Dombrovsky feel, I guess, a little bit betrayed.

What did you make of those comments and that transaction? Yeah, very unlike Dave Nbrowski to say something like that, because he usually gets whoever he wants because he's really good at this. But I happen to think Bo Bichette is a really, really good hitter still. I mean, he came back last year. He didn't play from September the 6th until the World Series, and then was a tough out in the World Series. He's going to have a great year for the Mets.

He's going to play third base. He's not going to play shortstop, obviously. He can play third base. he's going to be a really good player for them. And yes, the Phillies could have really used him to play, you know, the outfield or somewhere in the infield when third base, when they need some help. So yes, I think it, I thought he was going to the Phillies, but he's really going to help the Mets.

And I'm still surprised that Dave Nbrowski would basically acknowledge I didn't get somebody because he usually gets his man. From the bottom up, 3-2-1, give me the off-season's biggest transactions. I will tell the people I'll give you a minute to think. about this, 3-2-1, but the host, he's the host of, is this a great game or what? He does the podcast with his son, Jeff. It's a passion project. It's a project of great love. I urge you, not just for baseball, but for family. I urge you to subscribe to, is this a great game or what that he does with his son, Jeff, Tim Kirchion. If not, for Ron McGill, he'd be, by consensus, the most popular

guest who's ever been on this show. The biggest three transactions, starting with number three, offseason. Go ahead, Tim. Well, I think Dylan C's going to the Blue Jays is number three, because it's just another, and they spent $210 million for him, it's just another reminder of this is where the Blue Jays are. They're the best team in the American League. They have the fifth highest payroll. When they went to the World Series,

they recognized that things are really changing here in Toronto. So they've added a bunch of people. And to add another star player, a pitcher with a great arm, I think is a sign that the Blue Jays are here for the long term. They got a taste of what it's like to be in the World Series and what it did to their ballpark, their fan base. So that would be number three for me. Number two would be, well, let's see. Kyle Tucker has to be number one, but let me see. Number two, the Dodgers had a chant. Dodgers had a terrible bullpen last year, and they won the World Series. And then they went out and got

Edwin Diaz, the closer for the Mets, who was a free agent. They only had to pay him only $69 million. So they won the World Series in 2024 without a starting rotation. They won the World Series in 2025 without a bullpen. Now they've added a dominant closer. now their pitching is just ridiculously good. And now their lineup is ridiculously good because Kyle Tucker, who was the best player on the market, signed with the Dodgers, he'll play right field every day. And that lineup is loaded just as much as their pitching is loaded. Tim, we thank you for your time. We love seeing you. I will tell the people again to listen and subscribe to Tim and Jeff Kirchens podcast. Is this a great game or what? What is the strangest thing

you've eaten in your car. We had the bowl of cereal. What would you identify as the strangest thing? I go chicken wings. I've eaten chicken wings in the car, and that's my greatest shame. And I had worry while I was eating them. Someone's going to take a picture of this, and I'm not going to be able to explain it, that I couldn't wait to get able to eat the chicken wings. Yeah, I am always in a hurry. So sometimes I eat while I'm driving because I don't have time to stop and sit and eat. So I've eaten oatmeal many, many times in a car, many times. Now, it's pretty thick, so it's not like it's going to be falling out of the bowl. It's a thick oatmeal, but I've eaten oatmeal in the car many times. Does Kurt Warner look like the villain in a Christmas movie who wants to take over the

North Pole and make the Elves pawns in his capitalist scheme? Jeff Faghani looks like he works at an ice cream parlor. soda jerk from the 60s, also the queen of hearts. Tim, good seeing you. Thank you. Always nice seeing you. Always a pleasure. Do you guys believe that Ron McGill looks like your recently divorced mom's first date,

who, when you answer the door, is vigorously chewing his gum and combing his hair with his palm comb as he leans ever so slightly back to gander at the size of the home while never once acknowledging you with his eyes? And he's coming to bleep. Like he's there He's there to make love to your mom. What is the strangest thing you guys have eaten in the car shameful admissions only?

Do we not have any strange car eaters? Rotisserie chicken. What? And I'll dip it into the side of mashed potatoes. With my free mitt. Adobe Acrobat Studio, your new foundation. Use PDF spaces to generate a presentation. Grab your dog.

your permits your moves AI levels of your pitch gets it in a groove Choose a template with your timeless cool Flex those two Drive design deliver Make it sing

AI builds the deck So you can build that thing Do that do that do that With Acrobat Learn more at adobee.com slash do that with acrobat Don Lebertard I feel like we need

To normalize Saying the scientific terms for organs on the air. A penis? Yes. You know what? If someone takes a foul ball to the penis, we should just say he took a foul ball to the penis.

Stugats. That free kick hit him right in the cockado doodle do. This is the Don Levitar show with the Stugats. William Shatner, I should say, you guys say he shouldn't be driving. He still not only tours, but drives across the country while touring. Does so at 2 a.m. 94.

He might be 95 now because the last time I spoke to him, we did a South Beach session. Yeah, he does look amazing. His hair or two. Yeah. He's... Hat store. Was 94. Is he now...

94. Birthday is March 22nd. 1931. Wow. Zaslow, do you have any shameful eating, strange eating things? Chris, are you careful about this? Because us heavy guys have to be careful about doing this in public. I don't think strange for me.

but like, oh boy. What's your excuse this week? I just have every fast food place you can think of. Like nothing that would be odd. I'm trying to think of odd items. Yeah, I just have more fast food than you would think. Like, however much you're thinking, more. I did the other day get one of those ice cream, like an ice cream from somewhere,

and it was like one of those ones with a small bowl and it goes really tall. And I'm like, I should eat this before. Soft serve? It was soft serve. But I was like, you know what? I'm going to eat it in the car. And that was a mistake. Zaslow, you did not finish your thought.

I don't even the car. No, wait a minute. You didn't finish the thought because you just, you bailed. You were leaking so much confidence. Nothing at. That you bailed. Minor penalty, two minutes for leaking confidence. Chris, I needed that lab, dude.

He's had a bad week. He's had a bad week. Go ahead and find for me his most shameful butchering of the broad broadcasting language that we have from the last week. Which is better here, Damashek? As someone who doesn't mind a stammer with his yammer, which is the worst of these crimes Zaslo has committed as a broadcaster. The Packers winner, the Bears lose.

And again, reminder that it was the reverse of that. It was, did the Bears win or the Packers lose? The Packers win or the bear lose. Bears lose. He got it. This delights. So which one's better, though? That one or this one? You want to know how that?

What were the kids doing? Well, that would be your world champion, except that Mike Ryan's, oh, boy, at the end of it. I mean, I think we've got a recent nominee. Did you want to know how that? Oh, boy. What are the kids doing? Let's cut up what just happened to Zaslo, because he's wearing it on his face today. Like he didn't shave.

Like a good off-duty mine. That's a great one. There are a number of great ones there, but he absolutely looks like a mime. He does. Out of work, hard times. Like, he's not a mime who's presently working. He's a failed mime. It's not just off duty.

It's not a successful mime. It's a mime who's gotten 17 cents his last four outing. Why isn't he in there practicing his craft and being in a glass cage? Yeah, go ahead, Zez. Practice. So good, man. Look how happy Greg Cody is. I had to prevent myself from snorting just then.

I'm so happy. Does Jonathan Zaslow look like the guy at an arcade who puts a stack of quarters on the Pac-Man game to send a message to any kids that he's going to be there for a while? Look how miserable. Sad Zaz. Honestly, turn my mood around. Lazy's both... My face hurts from smiling something. I mean, he's seething and he's hurt.

And he's miming. And Chris Cody is desperately searching as fast as he can to try and find the latest mistake, which he just bailed after the question. He didn't he just slumped in his chair, stopped talking, and just failed, admitted the failure, and just sank into his own sewage. I don't think strange for me. Easy for him to say. He's a rising star at ESB.

PN Radio, getting more and more opportunities to broadcast well. I don't think strange for me. He is seething right now and hurting. Speaking of seething, I saw that Baker Mayfield has gotten into the news stream here by going after Kevin Stavansky for dumping him like a, quote, piece of garbage and saying, can't wait to see you twice a year, coach, that division, man, shouldn't be third. threatening anybody. It can only threaten other teams in the division because that's the minor leagues. That division is the minor leagues. And Baker Mayfield being the best and the outspoken,

the most outspoken of the quarterbacks in that division isn't much of a tribute. But I do understand why Baker Mayfield feels the way that he does. Remember talking about this back when Mike still cared about the Browns. He physically tried so hard to lift up the O'Dell Beckham Browns, the only Browns team in the last 30 years to have any expectations, that he damn near wrecked his career trying to physically play through shit for that coach. And so I understand why he is hurt by Stefansky. But do you guys remember where this started? Because this is just a tweet from somebody named Orlando Ledbetter, a reporter for the Atlanta

Journal Constitution. Are they still printing? See, Atlanta Journal Constitution is still printing? I thought they went out of business. Falcons, Kevin Stefansky, had a dumpster fire at quarterback in Cleveland. Baker Mayfield and Deshawn Watson failed, which started a chain reaction to 11 other starters. Shador Sanders closed out last season with seven starts. And Baker says, failed is quite the reach pal, still waiting on a text or call from Stefanski

after I got shipped off like a piece of garbage. Can't wait to see you twice a year, coach. That's amazing. If that's true, and why wouldn't it be? Because it can be vetted. if that's true that they fired him. They traded or released Baker Mayfield without the head coach saying goodbye or explaining it or telling him first. That's pretty outrageous.

Yeah. Failed is so close. What the Browns did was bailed on Baker Mayfield. They had no, you know, this is a guy who beat the Pittsburgh Steelers in Pittsburgh in a playoff game and then had a bummed shoulder. and everyone knew it, in the organization and out, and they decided they added it all up, not good enough. We have to go and pay Deshaun Watson $230 million on purpose. And by the way, it's not just that they traded away Baker Mayfield, as I always will point out with this. They also gave away a lot of draft picks that would have turned into people who play football,

presumably at a high end. And that Brown's roster would be mighty right now if they could just undo the Deshawn Watson thing and just retain Baker Mayfield. Yeah, Baker was not a failure when you consider where the Browns were before Baker arrived. You mentioned the win at Pittsburgh, a win that goes under Kevin Stefansky's record, even though he had COVID and was not actually able to be there. In his literal basement. In his literal basement. Baker kind of occupies this Jimmy Butler zone where everyone just kind of understands

this is the fuel that that undersized guy needs to get his game to the level that it is. so none of this stuff really sticks to them. It's kind of crazy, and I'm here for it. That's awesome that sports has this. So Baker saying can't wait to see you twice a year, coach. I can wait to watch all of the games being played in that division. I don't want to watch anything being done in that division by anyone. Agree.

It's kind of like consuming professional wrestling for me. I don't need to see the match. What I want is the pregame chat. This heat is great for football. is what sports needs more of actual hatred and rivalry and all the rest of it. Is Atlanta supposed to be any good? Like I keep expecting, Kyle Pitts was better this year, but I thought Kyle Pitts was going to be a dominant player, and I don't know if Michael Pennix is going to be healthy. I don't know what Atlanta has. I don't know why Stefansky would

be rehired, honestly. I don't know why he would be a coach of the year. He's one coach of the year twice. I rate Kevin Stefanski. I really like him from my time being a Cleveland Browns fan. I think he showed you in that season that Baker won. If you would do any kind of winning in Cleveland, I think you get credited. And then he made the playoffs with Joe Flacco at quarterback. Browns were a disaster

before Kevin Stefansky arrived. He won two coaches of the years with Cleveland. He runs a really good offense. I think he's going to be successful. I genuinely wish him the best, too. I'm excited to see him actually coaching with a new organization to prove that he still has the goods. and I'm super pumped to watch Baker play him twice.

I'm sorry, Dave. I think Dan's right about Atlanta. I feel like every year we talk about how talented Atlanta is. Panix, though, hadn't been around long enough. Whoa, golly. Panix hasn't been around long enough to write him off yet, right? Like, we're still thinking he might be pretty good. Pull a little further back from the mic, if he can.

Yeah. So you were close to the mic when clearing your throat. Right. And then as he made the good point, he's like, you know Zazz, as I really make this point. It's really strange, Greg. I'm trying to be a natural man here. When I'm making a point, I lean back for emphasis. It just doesn't happen to work when you're involved with the microphone.

I think that you have to regard Kevin Stefansky's time in Cleveland like you do, Robert De Niro and Rocky and Bullwinkle. You can't hold it against him for the larger production being a garbage mess. I mean, the last 10 years of De Niro, you had any number of selections you could have gone to of the last 10 years of De Niro's work. You went Rocky and Bullwinkle. That's the only one I had access to. Greg, you are delighting in Zaslo's failures here. And Zaslo, I do believe, is a bit mortified by your difficulties with just speaking into the microphone. Right.

Between the two of you, you guys delighting in each other's miseries. Look, let's tickle Greg Cody with a little more Zad, shall we? I don't think strange for me, but like... Oh, boy. You doctored that. That's definitely not how I said it. I don't think strange for me, but like... Oh, boy.

Yeah, that's what I heard. I don't believe it. Yeah, no, that was it. That's edited. Yeah. That's not edited. The Packers winner, the Bears lose. Bears lose.

I believe that that is also a little a tinge, an undercurrent of pity from Mike Ryan with the... Oh, boy. I don't think strange for... Strange for it. me, but like... Oh, boy. It is definitely not pity. He is so...

He loves that I did that. He loves calling me out in the post-show meeting because that... He says that... Dan wrote it down. Dan comes and praises all of us, says we did a great show. And then Mike says, I got one more thing to add. Zaslo. Be better tomorrow. That was a really bad sequence.

I don't think strange for me, but like... Oh, boy. Quick break to talk to you about Miller Light. partner of ours, basically since our show's inception, Miller Light has been there for so many great memories, especially recently. This wintertime, lots of trips to Texas, one Arizona, surrounded by friends welcoming in a new year and toasting that beautiful white can of Miller Light. My favorite beer and an incredible partner. For almost half of its 50-year existence, Miller Light has been partnered up with the Dan Levitard show and we could not be more grateful.

Some of my most legendary moments have started with, get some Miller Lights. Whether it be a buddy's house, a watch party, at the game, or postgame, you crack open a Miller Light, you take a sip, you look around at your friends and you think, yeah, this was the right call. You're locked into the game, the conversation, the moment, not thinking about what you're drinking, Miller Light just fits. Legendary moments start with Miller Light. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to Millerlight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.