The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Dos at CVS

Episode Date: August 11, 2025

An hour filled with so many great quotes we couldn't pick just one: "Greg, did your glasses fog up when you walked into a sex shop with your son?" "You straight guys have got that covered." "I don't want a green dildo, I want a flesh tone." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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All Porter fairs include beer, wine, and snacks, and free fast-streaming Wi-Fi on planes with no middle seats. And your Tampa Bay vacation includes good times, relaxation, and great Gulf Coast weather. Visit Flyporter.com and actually enjoy economy. Welcome to the big suey, presented by Draft Kings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habit. Bitu a liar. This episode is presented by Draft Kings. Draft Kings, the crown is yours. So there was a female umpire this weekend.

How about that? Marlins and Braves. Marlins lost four out of five. That's right. They played five games this weekend. Marlins and Braves, they lost four out of five. They're done. They're done with it.

Billy, I'm sorry. Marlins. It's a nice run. Someone out here said probably accurately. They did their job. They got us to football season. The sentence was, they did their job. They got us from the Panthers to the dollar.

and strongly that's a crazy sentence. But that's what they did. They, you know, got us through football. Is it still a crazy sentence? The Marlins have been in three straight Stanley Cup finals. Like, I don't know that it's a crazy sentence. The Panthers being three, it would be crazy. Why would the Marlins ever go to three straight Stanley Cup finals? I don't know. I don't know. But had they? It'd be wild. It's not that crazy a thing to say anymore.

They're hosting a hockey game next year. So... Did you see what the internet was having fun with on Saturday? She does her first home plate game. She did the... I believe Friday she did first base. Saturday, first home plate game, first pitch. You see it being put out. Here is the first pitch with a woman behind the plate. It was a ball, she called it a strike. There you go.

Wasn't even close to the strike. Which is not an indictment on her. Should you do an Eric Gregg impersonation? I'm going to say, this is not an indictment on her. Men have been missing these calls for years, decades. It was a good frame job, though. It didn't go well because the commentary on the historic moment. This is a ball that's going to go to Cooperstown.

And then it was like a miss. And then all the comments were calling her Angela Hernandez. Question. That's good. That's good. But this is not an indictment on her. What we should have been celebrating this weekend is the first robot umpire. Okay?

This doesn't happen anymore. But we're about 25 years behind. That's baseball. We're going to do women first, and then we'll celebrate robots in a couple of years. What we should not have been celebrating was MLB for, quote, unquote, breaking the gender barrier. It's about time. The NBA had a female referee 28 years ago. The NFL has had female referees or officials for 10 years.

MLB is just catching up. Well, that's the thing that my first thought when I saw the story was, I thought we did this already. I thought baseball already had women umpires, but I guess we didn't. My question on the first pitch, don't those types of historic moments, aren't they always supposed to be strikes, right? Like the first pitch for a team like Charlie Huff, right? Charlie Huff, that pitch was so outside.

They're supposed to have a pitcher groove that thing in there. and of course the yump calls a strike i think that's what that was she's saying anything close she's like if it's close it's a strike but it wasn't close same page don't say it was close it's going to be a strike and he was just slightly off the plate four that was a tough pitch to call we can all like like i'm not critic it's like that a lot of umpires miss that call whatever happened to the days of the umpire dictates their strike zone for the game yeah every umpire has a different strike zone i don't like the the square that's superimposed i like it if they're going to use it. I hate it where it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't. It's just showing me a box that

doesn't mean anything. They don't see it, Chris. No, I know, but they can't use it. They're calling it as they see it. The league could. The league could be using the box. I fell out of touch with the sport before this box was a thing. And I remember baked into the sport was so-and-so is behind home plate today. Usually goes with a larger strike zone. This guy's got a wide zone. This guy's got a high zone. Wove it into the fabric of the game was like, ah, this guy calls the game a little bit different, you got to adjust. I didn't want to know pitch by pitch how off or how accurate they were. Like if it's a Marlin that's striking out looking, I'm like, that's inside, that's not a strike.

Then when the square is there and they're like, oh, that was a strike, I'm like, no, I wasn't. I don't want to see that. And then you look at the square itself, Greg, it doesn't look like it gets to all the edges. It looks like it's visually tricking me so that if something's outside of the box on TV, it could still be in what I consider the strikes. Well, like baseball also is not head-on usually. It's not a center field, you know. It's slightly off. Yeah, right, which is why we don't need it.

I would expand the strike zone. If I were an umpire, I would call almost everything a strike, unless it's in the dirt. Unless it brushes you back, I would say to the bad. So you'd be a little league umpire. Yeah, get that bat off your shoulders. I would say, swing the bat. I would say that to every ball player who stepped into my, into my place. Go ahead.

plate. Bring it, you know. I'm going to call strikes. Swing that bat, Jack. You know, that's what I would say. Did you ever umpire, like youths? I have. And would you say that to the kids?

Would you let them know? Hey, I'm calling it today. You know, I let the coaches know that I like a big, I like a big strike zone. You used to umpire? Maybe I was thinking of you. Yeah, like you used to call my balls and strikes like out in the front yard. Right. Okay, so hold on a second.

Let's revisit this. for a second. Not only was if you want to say he misremembered, lied, misremembered, whatever, but he also

imagined a scenario where he told the coaches before the game, I'm, you know, let's sing the back. It's hypothetical. I played travel. You're thinking of like my games

where you would hear that said. Right. You've heard that said. You didn't say it as an unbarred. I'm sorry to wonder if you ever spoke it to Tim Bowens. Yeah, because in Greg's mind, clearly he's imagining

being this umpire. And somewhere as time passed, he thought it ended up being a true story. And now he's like, wait a second, I never umpired. That's true. Yeah, but you umpired. I did. Yeah. And would you tell the coaches, hey.

I know, in my dad's defense, yes, two little league kids at the beginning. I'm like, if it's close, it's a strike. Like, let's go. We're up here to hit, not walk. Yes, thank you. But that's a clear little league thing that you don't do in the majors because the majors are the majors. Okay, if I was an umpire, I would take it upon myself to speed up the game. Like, I would want at bats to go very quick.

You're getting hot again. You're getting sweaty? Yeah. Oh, now both of his lenses are fogging up. Well, you know what I need? I need one of those things that are made to defog glasses. You know, I don't know what the product is called. Glasses defuggers.

Getting warped up in here. Well, plus, I've got a long-sleeved shirt. I got a t-shirt on a... Bad arm week. And also, it's perpetually warm in here. Like, I don't think the Levertard shows paying the rent. I don't think they... We are, I can assure you.

I would say that the AC has been cooking a little bit lately. Thank you. No, no, no, no. In a good way. Yeah. You didn't have your glasses fog up when we actually had AC issues. Right now, it's very comfortable. Well, in there, though, there's also, like, a vent if you look up that is specifically

just for Dan. Like, the rest of the room is... Is that right? Yeah, look up. There's, like, an air ducts right above you. I can't really do that. He is struggling with the Sucats scene. I suffer from Vertigo.

You can't look up? And, you know, movement. like that. Do you really? Adam McCame were moving. Slowly. What would happen? Would you fall back?

Oh, there it is. Okay. You would fall backwards? What other things like that can't you do? Like, I can't move my head side to side very fast. Like, I would, it would really... You can't do a little spinnerama? Does that get you going to?

So you have like a neck brace, like an invisible neck brace on, basically. I mean, not really. Like, you guys haven't noticed. If I had a neck brace, you would know that I had a neck brace. You haven't noticed that I have a shoe. But I'm saying you can't, like, if you turn, you'd have to turn your body. You can't just turn your head. I just go slowly.

I just got to go slowly. Like, I go look to my left here. I just got to go slowly, that's all. Turn your whole body, it seemed. Michael Keaton, batman, neck mobility. That's right. A little bit. Yeah.

How long has this been going on? I first started suffering from it. It was about, it was right before COVID. So, like, five and a half years ago. And what happens? You, like, get really dizzy and fall down? I mean, if I have a full-on attack, which I did that time, I can have trouble walking. Like Liza and the rest of development?

You're like, oh, I got the duster. disease. It's crazy when things just happen out of nowhere, too. It's getting old, man. I ran to a CVS, not just to listen to music this time, but to also get eyedrops, because I'm like, eh, I guess I'm meeting eyedrop guy now. Listen to music. I've been that guy so many times, like, tapping

my foot, looking at which eyedrops am I getting? Where the hell am I going here? I walked into Publix yesterday. I sent Mike Ryan a text message. I go, hey man, you want to guess what song's playing right now? I guessed. Chris, you want to guess? What song? I walked in yesterday. I walked into Publix. I have a guess. They had the soundtrack on, man.

What song, Israel? Is it Natasha Bettingfield? No. I guess Michelle Branch, I was off. But then when you hear it, you're like, ah, how did I not guess this one song out of all the other songs ever made? Very close. Matchbox 20, 3 a.m. Oh, wow, good song.

Very close. Greg, did your glasses fog up when you walked into the sex store with your son? Whoa. I'm sorry, what? Whoa. Oh, has everybody not listened to the Greg Cody Show podcast featuring Nick Cody? Not yet. Well, I don't want to give too much away.

I don't want to step on the punchlines of my own show, which just dropped a couple of hours ago. So I encourage people to listen to it. But Christopher and I did make a trip to a megastore that refers to itself as an adult entertainment store. I'll reveal that my dad tricked me. Late last week, he's like, hey, you want to go to lunch? I went to his house.

I got in his car, and he's like, it's late for lunch. We're going to a sex shop. Wait, what's a mega store? It's like the size of a supermarket. Like it's a gigantic store. Like the target of risque things. I heard you're throwing a sex toy shop together. I heard you're throwing doughs at the park yesterday.

Is that true? No, no, no, no. We decided... Well, that's what once again, now you're giving away. Don't give away. My dad wanted to not make light. Trust me, we do plenty of saying this is not right. We do plenty of caveats.

But my dad wanted to say, this is what people should be doing with dildos. What they're doing is throwing them at arenas. You know what, here at The Great Cody Show, we're going to give you something that you should be doing. Whether we actually should be doing what he wanted to do, you're going to have to tune in and find out. Yeah, but they're, you know, there's a, you know, use a sex toy for personal pleasure or group pleasure

or tossing, you know, for distance. Can I quote, first of all, it's always jarring when you hear your name out of the blue, like in a podcast. And so I was referenced twice in this particular podcast, which was a little jarring, spoiler alert. Can I quote something that won't give anything away? Greg said he was going to look for, quote, a decent-sized, classic-looking dildo.

So I just want your description on what is decent size and what is classic-looking. Great question, Izzy. Okay, by classic, I mean something that looks like what it's representing. Classic how? Because when I look at old paintings, for example, it looks like they are not circumcised, but today you would call classic penis circumcised.

So in your mind, which penis is classic? Can I go first? Yeah, go ahead. I think you're thinking about the classic replica, flesh-colored vascular. Erect. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Aren't they all erect? I mean, that's implied. Ever flapped one of those things around? I think it's a little misleading. That would be funny, a flaccid dildo. Well, okay. Now, the most important part, of course, Rick, being the size, I think we're just, right, let's probably take those off of your team.

In the edit, can we not do that? You want something that's a little larger than life. Whose judgment? Those look like awards. So can you be specific? Like, what is larger than life? Like six inches, seven inches? Probably more like eight, nine.

Ah, okay. Eight or nine. And here's the other point I want to make. The sex toys, quote unquote, that have been tossed under the WNBA courts, It's all a ruse with this cryptocurrency company or whatever. Cryptos not real. But they're green. I don't want a green dildo.

I feel like green is better than one that looks realistic, right? What's your preferred color? I want a flesh tone. But like a color. Whether it's white or black, you know, I want a dildo that looks like what it's representing. Purple maybe? No, not really. So we do that and we figure out if my dad can do the monkey bar.

Wait, so you went shopping? We did the monkey box. We journey to a sex shop. You're going to have to tune in to find out whether we, how far we make it in there, what happens. Just you're going to have to tune in. Also, did it in a muscle cart. By the way, I've always been like, you know what? I should do some sort of like gay themed podcast.

You straight guys have got that covered. Like, Dad and Son going to the gay shop, buying doodles. I'm good. I don't need to do a podcast. That's high praise. The Dan Libitor Show with Stugats is sponsored by Liquid Ivy. All right. So I'm trying to soak up the last little.

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not available in all areas. Don Lebertard. What do I got here? I got a magnum condom. We won't get that out. That's shocking. Stugats.

Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old. Right next to the condom. Yeah. That's a subtle reminder. Never forget. This is the Don Leverberts. about our show with this two gods I'll tell you

I feel like in the history of father-son podcast you guys may have pulled something off that has never been done that's why I was I had some pride doing it did it in a muscle card like I don't know if the golics are doing that can we put her in a request for the gollings to do that That would be great. Did they think you were like together? Can Tim Kirchon and his son do this?

Tune in to find out, Billy. There's a father-sson thing. Because I will admit, we could have been a couple. We didn't want to, you know, privacy stuff. We do, the video is on the way there. It's all video, but we go just audio for Into the Sex Shop. If, you know, forgive, obviously, this hypothetical. If something were to happen to your dear wife, you know, and then you were to date younger, would Chris be your type?

I could see me dating younger No, but like Chris specifically Would Chris be your type? No, soda body Why did you look over at me as if to like assess? I don't know how to answer that question I'm just kind of saying like if you went and you're like we're a couple Would this be like a realistic coupling for you?

Yeah, I could see myself dating a man half my age But like Chris type? Yeah, why not. I feel like he's answered enough guy. I don't like a beard. No? No, I don't like a beard. He doesn't, Christopher doesn't like to shave.

for some reason. He only shaves above his lip, I've noticed. I have a beer now because I'm adult. Yeah. Yeah. I shave my neck. Seeing those two go in a place together where you were assume they were together is no weirder than Bill and Jordan. I guess they're not the Belichick's but I don't know her last day. Them

going out in public somewhere, right? My dad was caught up on good. Because I did not want to go in with my dad. I'm like, you take the phone. So he wouldn't be your type if you went older. My dad was afraid to walk in there alone. He wanted me with him. Well, of course. I would felt self-conscious walking into the mic. Is that because, like, if you were

recognized, like, what's Greg Cody? At least if someone's, if Chris is with you, it's like, oh, this is obviously a bit. You should have worn a mask. Partly, part of that. Just the eye mask, you know? An eye mask. Yeah, like a Robin type mask. Yeah, he's sweating again. You can do a surgical mask, too. So, oh, he's older. Oh, yeah, COVID. Susceptible. Yeah, that's a good point. Did you walk in and say, where the dildos? That's why we did it. Yeah, like, I know when I go into a, a store, the last thing I'm doing is asking for help. I'll find what I need. I agree with that. I'm a man. I could

I could do it on my own. I agree. So what's when you go into this? It's all the poor women asking for help at the sex store. Well, I'm not judging. I'm just telling you from a man perspective. I don't ask for help. I don't ask for directions. I know exactly where the dildos are. I don't need help. But how long do you wait in the sex shop to ask for the dildo? Well, you don't want to be seen as leisurely browsing in a place like that. You want to do your business. You want to get to get to the In and out. No pun. Decisive.

The old in and out. I feel like the people in there wouldn't be judgmental of you. Like, it's just in your head. Like, you guys are all there for the same reason. It's not like you're, you know, I don't know if you guys have noticed, but you mentioned like the CVS. Like CVS, I mean, you just walk down the aisles. You look around and you're like, whoa, like, okay, this is not what you thought that they would sell at CVS anymore. It's just there like on the shelves.

You walk past, go down the wrong aisle, looking for some Advil. And then all of a sudden, dough is everywhere. It does. You look around. Target, too. The recent dildoes being thrown on sporting courts, you see them more, you can find those easier now at CVS. They're in more prominent spots now.

So, like, there, if you're walking around and someone sees you, like, you know, you're doing school supply shopping, all of a sudden someone walks by, like, Greg, what are you doing in this section? It's different than if you're at an adult store that everybody's looking for doze there. I want to make sure I just heard something correctly. You can walk into a CVS drug store and buy a dough. We didn't even have to go all the way where we went. That's crazy.

Is it? I mean, I knew that you could buy, like, condoms. It's in the pharmacy. Yeah, it's in the pharmacy, right next to the condoms. No way. No, it's just in the aisles, not even in the pharmacy. I thought you guys were kidding. It's under eating medication.

Look, next break, walk over to the CVS down there, and I'm sure you could find if you're looking. Ask them which aisle are the doze. Yeah, I will. We'll bring a live view camera. Okay. I mean, it's crazy. Do they have a good variety, though, or just like? Like, we're going to learn.

All flesh color. Maybe it depends on the size of the store. Yeah. You know? Size of the store. Yeah. I've noticed like the, the pharmacies in, you know, like when we worked at the beach and here, like in downtown, they're more like just meat and potatoes type pharmacies. You know, like they don't have a selection of anything.

Any CVS or Walgreens in a downtown stinks. Yeah. I'll say it. There's a target here. Honestly, I'm kind of wondering if that target sucks or not because, like, the target of the beach. I don't, no offense, if you work at that target or any target. That target kind of sucks. It's not big enough.

You want, like, a lot of square footage. And when they put them in, like, more compact, like, downtown settings, they're not the best versions of the stores. Greg, I can tell you sort of the evolution of how we got to doze at the CVS's or in regular drugstores. Please. If you go to any supermarket in the produce section, cucumbers. It's been largely the go-to for people way back in the day. More carrots.

I think people, but egg-carrots, a little small, little rough. How about zucchini? A little jagged on the wrong end. To each their own. Zucchini, a little soft. Doesn't really work as well. And so... What about an eggplant?

Because that's like the emoji. Good for you. Eggplants seem... A little large. Eggplants seem impractical. Yeah, they should be firmer if they're going to be that large. Otherwise, Roy has thoughts. Yeah, Roy has something here.

Go for it, Roy. Yeah, the problem with the CBS pharmacy situation is the form of line is right there running past this section where the condoms and the sex toys are. That's why Roy goes to the store for the doze because everybody's there and shopping for those and there's no judgment. When Roy goes to CVS to get his doze, people are like, Roy Bell is going on. This has gone on way too long. There are not doze at a CVS.

Yes, they're are. Yes, there are. At best a personal massage. Roy is telling you right now. There are definitely cucumbers at a Publator. Roy, you're the arbiter on the. they have actual sex toys or just personal massagers that everyone knows that's what it's done personal massages so you've heard okay personal massagers but are they phallic shaped yes this is insane

and why haven't I gotten the invite to this CDS I can only imagine it's every CVS no way I'm telling you walk to that CVS right down the street I'm sure you could find one at CVS where is the line I mean since I was a child I go to CVS I see all the jellies and you know You know, other types. It's like, why is other sex-related items? You were thinking that as a child. As a child. And I got a waiting line over here standing with Claire and she's over here.

Like, what is that? I'm like, yeah, that's crazy. Listen, I cannot believe. Can we all, like, do we have the capabilities for all of us to go as a show, just walk down the street and just broadcast all of us live from there? Or someone has to stay behind. I mean, my guess is it's tough to set that up mid-show. I mean, I'm kind of new around here. I'm finding those.

They have those. They have those. They just walked. Yeah. At least they're packaged. Ham vibrators. At least they're packaged, though. They are.

Packaged and locks. They're not like, they're not dangling very fallicky. You don't want to be walking down the aisle. Like one fell to the floor. And so, excuse me, a pickup, you know. This is apparently a recent phenomenon. Interesting. This is crazy.

How do you think that board meeting went when the, you know, the CVS execs are like, you know what I think we need to start stocking on shelves? Somebody in the meeting was like Mike. And they're like, no. And everyone else is like, it's good business. COVID was like the great. reset. Like, everyone just forgot everything that happened before. So, like, after, it's like, wow, I guess this has just always been the case with everything. Did we, of course, you know,

the reason, if somehow you have forgotten, the reason that the doze are in the conversation is because of what has happened in the WMBA over the last couple of weeks. Did we have any incidents over the weekend? You know, football, football, preseason football felt like it was front and center. I didn't see any headlines about any doze in WMBA preseason games. I didn't see any headlines. games this week. And WMBA's great season games this weekend. I haven't seen any either. Maybe I was distracted. Shador Sanders. Other things happened. But it's possible, as Chris mentioned, some of them are sold out, so we don't have enough to go around. The love buzz is sold out at CVS right now. I did see that Pierce Morgan fell for an NBA Centel tweet this weekend, that NBA Centel put out that WNBA aren't installing nets.

What? Fucking hockey rinks. so that you can't throw the doughs. And Pierce Morgan fell for it. My favorite meme regarding this story is when the WMBA announced no bag policy. And the meme was, I know what I have to do. I just don't know if I have the strength to do it. So guys, I have something

that doesn't take that much strength. I have something very important to tell you, all right? As you may know, there was a movie that came out this weekend. Oh, did you find out why the kids keep leave in the rooms? I know why the kids ran into the streets in the middle of the night at 2.17 a.m. Greg Cody, do you know why? I have no idea what you're talking about.

The movie, weapons, came out this weekend. New horror movie, Weapons. That's the movie where they show you in the previews. The kids are running into the streets. They're leaving their homes unprovoked and they're running out all at the same time. Greg, what's the last preview you saw? To 17 a.m. And they disappear to never return.

That's the movie. I had to find out why they are running out of... Like, do you remember the last time you watched a movie trailer? And you're like... Like, the trailer works to perfection where I have to know what happens. I don't think he actually does remember the last time you saw a movie trailer. Full stop. No, I don't.

My wife talked me into watching Happy Gilmore 2. That's not a trailer. One of the worst movies I've ever seen. Whoa. Awful. You couldn't name one thing about the... first one, though. I like the first one. But it's all paying respect. The first one was

great. What's the bad guy's name in the first one? You know, the guy there. What's his name? Dorothy. I forget. Gesturing. I'm gesturing. Shooter. Oh, Shooter McGavin. Yeah. Thanks, As. I'm looking like he was going to get it. No, I didn't, but

the finger gun gave me a hint. So, so you don't remember, I forget about a trailer. You don't remember the last time that you heard a movie was coming out, maybe like, I have to know what happens. We saw the Rocket Man, the Elton John biopic. You don't know what happened to Elton John? Like, it's a true story.

He's a lie. Swing vote and Elton John movie. Those are his last two movies in the last two decades. In theaters. Yeah, Gilmore, too, we watched in the process of our home. Were you surprised at the ending of Gilmore, too? Like, it would shock you? No, the whole thing was formulaic.

Are they happier with the girls? The Liv Reference, you know, nothing worked. It was just terrible. Favorite cameo? There were too many. A little distracting, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, half of the PGA players...

Just push it away. You don't hear it. Half of the PGA players I couldn't name. You know? Like, who the hell? Best player in the world, number one. Oh, that guy, you know, he should have three clubs in his bag to give him a handicap. Him, I sort of recognized, but not really.

But those other guys, they needed, hello, my name is tags, for me to know half of those PGA tour players. And the bad bunny, I think, was in it. The bad bunny. My wife told me who that was. I thought he was pretty good. That wasn't funny where every time he kept asking happy if he needs a breadstick? No. I don't get that.

Because he was a waiter. But what's a breadstick got to do with it? You're really open. At restaurants, they have breadsticks. Okay, whatever. But he was a star. You don't know about that Olive Garden? Bunny, no.

Bunny was the star of the movie for, me, along with Gilmore. Looking for a new way to get in on the action? NASCAR betting on Draft Kings is where speed meets strategy. Whether it's a super speedway, short track, or road course, no one brings chaos quite like NASCAR. Every Sunday brings new ways to win. Bet on winners, top three finishes, stage winners, head-to-head matchups, and more.

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It's also hike season, pool season, picnic season, and yeah, I'm down season. So drink it up with Tim's ice lattes, now whipped for a smooth taste. Order yours on the Tim's app today at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Don Lebatard. I heard that as a woman faking pain. I didn't think that sounded real. I really didn't, you know. It was not fake.

It was in no way fake. You can spot a woman faking it. Stugats. Yes, I can, Jess. Expert. I've been married 40 years. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. You're annoying me today.

Not, not, just a little feedback, not super helpful. The Tim Bowen thing. The Tim Bowen, the even, like, right out the gates, the photos. I know you're not on Instagram, which is why you kept referencing Facebook, but the photos of the kids, like, that's a pop culture thing, but I understand how it misses you. And you know what? I love you just the way you are. You stay.

Can I ask a follow-up question, which would get? Greg Moore into his comfort zone. And again, this is not giving anything away about the Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody. Yes, yep. Thank you. But when you are swinging on monkey bars, not when you do it, but as a generalization,

when someone swings on monkey bars, you imagine your feet flowing freely, right? Like you have, you don't have to hit against the ground. You don't have to keep your knees up or anything like that, right? Exactly. Because this motion right here, keeping your knees close to your chest,

chest is already physically more demanding. Right. Right. So I will say I'm not going to give anything away, but when we talked about monkey bar swinging, we definitely talked about it in terms of just having one that was tall enough or your feet can just swing through. Oh, adult monkey bars? Sorry, we couldn't find those.

Every single monkey bars I've ever hung on were long enough for adults. Yeah, we went to a playground with kids monkey bars. Which I thought they all are. What? I mean, no, the monkey bars of my youth. What a ridiculous thing, Chris. We didn't go to a CrossFit training place. We were at a kids park.

I know, but that was one of the difficult. The monkey bars is like three stories high. It's in Squid Game. I mean, that was a difficulty. That added to my difficulty of whether or not I was able to complete the old. You know what? From now on until the end of, let's say the end of the Greg Cody show's existence, probably going to be at least 20 more years, right?

I will stop at every monkey bars that I see that are tall enough and show you. And just so you know that all monkey bars are not short. little kiddie monkey bars. Right, exactly. That's right. Christopher, take a lesson. Wait to see. One that isn't at a workout place. So, am I the only one who knows why the kids ran out of their homes in the middle of the night? Yes, you are. The only one who cares is more like it. No, that's not true. I care. I actually had tickets to see it on Thursday, and I couldn't, I've been too busy this weekend, but it's on the list. This is one that I have to see in theaters. I have to find out. You got to know. I got to know why they're running out into the street at 217 a.

Well, just tell them. Why wasn't? Well, no, no, I'm not going to give any spoilers. So people, listening right now, watch right now, I don't do spoilers, or I'm not like that. I'm a courteous person. Bad name for a movie. I'm not, just... Is order any weapons? I'm not going to spoil anything for you. Okay, I guess they were.

I'm not going to spoil anything. But, yeah, so I will tell you, though, I enjoyed the movie. It is not what I thought it was going to be. That I will tell you. Not what I thought it was going to be. I will also tell you that purposely, the movie's actually pretty funny, all right? it's not, like, if you think it's gory, it's not, there are some gory parts, but it's not gory, it's not even scary, it's, it's, it's a thriller, it's more suspense than it is

scary, but I liked it a lot. It's, uh, it's pretty wild, actually. Would it be giving anything away if you told us what you thought the children running away would be? Uh, I don't know what I thought. I, I don't know, like, Mike, you haven't seen yet. Do you, you have, like, a theory? I didn't think I had a theory. I had no theory. I had no theory. I just, yeah. Because the last time, to answer your question that you asked you, Greg, the last time I saw a trailer that made me say, I need to know what that was about. It wasn't too long ago, it was sinners. It was, oh, okay, I don't really know what the horror element here is, but I want to know what it is.

And then I watched it. And like you said, it wasn't crazy scary. It had a couple of jump scares, but it had a very consistent, you know, classic theme to it. And it was a great movie. I have a shocking admission. I was embarrassed to admit this. but I'll do it on the air now too I saw the trailer for sinners and was like

I want to see that I still haven't seen it yet oh it's a good movie and then I and spoiler for those that haven't seen this I don't it shouldn't be a spoiler it seems like this is a pretty important plot point no idea Michael B. Jordan played two roles I didn't know that at first either had no clue I watched a trailer

the trailer a handful of times right right right then I sat down and watched the movie and I was like huh what do you know that's like awesome powers doctor evil type thing or no No, I mean, yeah. He plays himself and his brother. Well, he plays twin brothers. That's how I knew he did a great job in it, because right when I saw him, I said, man, that's clearly Michael B. Jordan. And I said to myself, at what point in this movie am I going to forget that those are two Michael B. Jordans and just think of the character?

And at some point halfway through, I completely forgot it was Michael B. Jordan. That guy did a great job. I liked weapons. I liked it a lot. My older son didn't like it. My younger son was like, all right, they're all fine. I see all the horror movies with my boys in the theater. And any time it gets too gory, you know, and one of them wants to, like, put their hands over their eyes, I look like, you'll put your hands down, you'll watch every second of this. You're a Zadzlo.

I don't allow them to look away. You're a goddamn Zaslo. You will watch this. Did this movie grab you, like, in the first couple of minutes? Did weapons just totally suck you in? Yes, the way it starts, you know, it's creepy, the way it starts. And immediately when the movie gets going, you're like, I have, it's building and building and building to finding out

what the hell is going on. So, yes, I liked it a lot. And I don't cop out. You find out what's going on. Oh, yeah. There's no mystery. You know what's, yeah. They explain it all.

When scary parts are coming, did you used to like have to open your kids' eyes and hold them open? Like little Alex with the ultraviolence and Clockwork Orange? Really? You would have to do that. Well, no, I tell them to put their hands out. Because when their father tells them to do something, they do it. Is it because like, you know, man, don't get scared.

That's right. Zaslo's don't get scared. We're at the movie. We're not at the movie to not watch it. We're not at the movie to cover our eyes. We're at the movie to watch. White Tamara, can she cover her eyes? She doesn't come to the horror films without us.

She doesn't like it. She's not into it. Do your boys like it or you just bring it along? They love it. They love the horror films. If they don't like it, they have the opportunity to physically challenge him. Well, my younger son can challenge me. He has not used up a challenge yet.

My older one used up his first ever challenge. I think it was three months ago. How often do they reset? if they do it all. Six months. You've got three months before he can challenge again. Yeah, my boys can challenge me, Greg, to be man of the house if they want. You know, because they're both men also. They've been bar mitzvahed. And I don't know if you know in the Jewish tradition, once you're bar mitzvah, you're a man. Sure. And so my boys there are both allowed to challenge me to be man of the house at this point because they've both been bar mitzvahed. My older one

took a stab at it a few months ago. It did not go well for him. And so he has to wait another a few months. But my younger one, if you want to step up, step up. And what would be an example of a challenge that your younger one might make? Got to take me down. You know, like they announce, hey, I'm challenging you. Okay, I drop what I'm doing. You know, I would never back down on the death, Greg, but close. Yeah, you got to get me down on the ground where it's almost like, all right, you know. You're talking about a physical challenge? Oh, yeah. Isn't your youngest son? Well, what do you think we're having a debate? Isn't your youngest son 14? On a dais. Greg, yep, that's what he's talking about.

He was talking about a physical challenge, yeah, man. Yeah. Just, you're on one. So my older one, my 16-year-old, he tried. He talked a tough game. It did not go well for him. And he was talking to trashed to me yesterday, to be honest, saying, I can't wait for another few months because you're dead. I'm like, okay.

Like, we remember what happened last time. It's going to go poorly for you again. But he thinks that he's got me next time. But he still has to wait a few months. Was it scary off the jump, or did they try to lull you in a false sentence of security? No, no. My older son, like when he tried, like he started choking me out. I was talking about weapons because I keep trying to find the loop to get to the top five that I cooked up.

Let's do it. Come on now. Top five, best opening scenes in cinematic history. Good list. Okay, top five best opening scene cinematic history. We do have an OLLI. Here's the group of OLLI. Raiders of the Lost Ark. Can you explain for those of us who haven't seen it in 30 years?

Yeah, big old ball. Oh, yeah. That's right. A big-ass ball, yeah. Big-ass ball. Just like the stunt show, which is still around, by the way. Is it? Yeah.

Yeah, you can always tell who the plant is. They're wearing a Hawaiian shirt. O-L-I. Heat. Wow, that's O-L-I. It's a great opening scene. Dude, it was tough to boil this down to five. It is a great opening scene.

Waynegrove kills him. He's got the blood in his ears. That Wayne-Grow was a real piece of shit. Let me tell you. You see who they're talking to to join the cast of Heat, too. No. Pat Riley. Leo DiCaprio

What? Wow I like it I like it too Did you read the book He too? No, there's a movie Why would I read?

Well, he too is not a movie Okay, but you just told me that the movie's coming out though So why would I read it? Well, you know, they're still trying to get it greenlit Huh All right, OLLI, final OLAI, Jaws Or Alternate title

What's that known on my leg Number five Scream Great opening scene Great opening scene involving what? Spoiler alert Drew Barrymore

Yep The Drew Barrymore It was kind of a It wasn't really a cameo It was a bit part But you know Paul's coming from inside the house Yeah it's great

And that was also back then Where like A famous actor or actress Didn't get killed in a movie No it didn't do that You didn't see it And it was genuinely scary I just forgot that that was the opening scene

But it's clearly The most memorable scene from the movie Oh for sure Number four gotta give some animation some love here up it's very sad super sad and you you

are totally shocked at how this movie grabs you right away and how emotional that start is when we watched up for the first time in my house my kids were of an age where they're going to be into it blockbuster was like still open it was still a thing and and when we were renting up like the person behind the reddish like be prepared

for the opening of the movie it's really sad hey blockbuster employee don't do that. Spoiler. What a terrible thing to do. I love the... Dude, I miss the banter with the people that worked at Blockbuster. Well, No It All.

They really liked movies. Well, know it all? Yeah, they were No-It-alls. When you had the connection with the one person who would tell you when something just got returned. Oh, my God. That was my guy. Well, do you know what the move was at Blockbuster?

If it was a really popular movie and, you know, it was never behind the on the shelf, when you walk into Blockbuster, you first go to the front where it has the movies that have been returned but have not been put back on the shelf. shelves, yeah, that move. Number three, Dark Knight. Wow, number three. That's what I would have, number one,

dark night opening scene. I think that's the number next to. I don't know. Great job. William Finkner, right? Fickner, yeah. Is it Fickner? Either way, it's a f*** up last name.

Number two, saving private Ryan. This was really difficult. You had dudes walking out of the theater. Yeah, I mean, you had dudes carrying in their own arms. It was nuts. This is an incredible scene to start a movie with, and it was really hard to put that in number two. That was the D-Day, like on the beach? Yes, yeah, you open right up with Tom Hanks on the boat.

Apparently very realistic. It was incredible. And number one, for me, also in that World War II genre, not the kind of action, but gripping. Edge of your seat type of dialogue. Christoph Waltz, you knew that he would win an Academy Award. Just base off of this opening scene, it's Inglorious Bastards. Wow. No, no good fellas.

No. I can walk you through that opening scene, like, almost frame by frame, where you got Ray Leota, you've got Joe Pesci in the back seat, you've got, what's his face? Robert De Niro in the passenger seat, and they're hearing the bumping. This face? What's that? And they pull the car over, and it's the dude in the trunk. Oh, he's not dead yet, and Joe Pessies, and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then it goes to

Ray Liotto with the voiceover. As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a gangster. Do your own list. If you're talking dialogue, social network.