The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Doug Unfunnie (feat. Jason Benetti)

Episode Date: May 22, 2025

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Proximo, Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly. queervo. Welcome to the big suey presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. I just realized something in the frenzy of what was the first hour of our show and what was fueled by, I'm going to say, 20 years of New York hatred.

I haven't seen this group of people quite this jolly in quite a while because some of these stats are so stupid, Stugat. The Pacers had 23 points in the final three minutes and 14 seconds of regulation. Jolly fans of teams no longer playing. That's correct, that's correct. You really shouldn't be smug today. I feel good, I'm still alive.

I know, you say you feel good, but we haven't gotten a real emotion out of you in an hour. You've been, all of a sudden, you care about the Edmonton Oilers. It was a great game. It was a great game. Overshadowed for obvious reasons, but that was great. I don't want to be prisoner of the moment with the Jolly,

but I wanna ask you if we're talking about biggest choke ever, and we're talking about the Pacers had 23 points in the final three minutes and 14 seconds of regulation. That's three points in the final three minutes and fourteen seconds of regulations that's the most in the final three minutes and fourteen seconds of regulation of a playoff game in the play-by-play era so carson breber said the esp and win probabilities here to me and i want you to find out whether you've got it wrong or you're coming after all of the esp n analytics incorrectly because some people are now calling the Pacers

the greatest comeback playoff team of all time because of what I'm about to read to you. They had a 99% probability, 99.7% probability of losing versus New York in game one, a 95.9 probability of losing versus Cleveland in game two, and a 97.9% probability of losing in game five versus Milwaukee So you're talking about a team for our times, right? I mean like this shit is so stupid. It's all made up Yeah, 99.8% now this now it's 99.3. It's just how we swap in the back saying that looks like a night

What are we doing? But a similar thing to what you're saying is since 1997-98, teams are four and 1,649 went down by seven plus points with less than a minute to go in the fourth quarter and overtime in the playoffs. Too many numbers. Hold on, the Pacers, this playoffs account for three of those four wins.

So this is where me and Jeremy ruin everything with our numbers because the group wants to just be jolly and hate and point out, hey, Brunson also had an air ball at the end. Do you remember that? Tired legs. Tired legs. Let me ask this question.

He was resting on the bench. ESPN Analytics, get me this number. Is that the most number of air balls you've ever seen in a playoff game? Everybody was shooting air balls. Yeah, Indiana was. The Pacers were shooting air balls. The Knicks were shooting air balls.

Chalamet was doing air ball. When he tried to tee up Halliburton there. Tee him up, tee him up, tee him up. Air ball. Might be a record for a fourth quarter. Air balls. There's so many air balls. Everyone but Neesmith.

That dude was right on target. Nothing but net. Pew! I mean, can you take me through when we're talking about how people rise to big moments and if indeed Halliburton has more than a mindset, has a skillset that will kill you late. Give me the person that you would say

would have the basketball instincts for all of the following to happen when you talk about what a point guard needs to be. Gets the ball at 7.2 seconds. Left has to go the length that the court has been in this situation. The matchup is Mitchell Robinson. You heard him wired up saying that guy crazy to go up against. Who has the mindset in those moments where you don't panic and you got to do something surgically

concise to want to go floater, have floater lined up, Bridges hits the ball, so that's short-circuiting whatever you're thinking and you immediately think, I'm going backwards now, see if I could kill him with a three. Take me through the non-thinking that has to happen in that moment because you're surrounded by people who are fearing you, you're a killer, and you're not scared of what this moment brings. So let me start by saying that uh... because last amendment two years ago i i gave

tires out in the nickname the last hope because the point guard position as we grew up knowing it is all but dead it's an ancient religion that nobody practices anymore and here comes tires albert and he's a pure point guard ladies and gentlemen don't get it was said by the heroics and and the big shots he plays the game like pure point guard ladies and gentlemen don't get it twisted by the heroics and the big shots He plays the game like the point guard position was originally thought of which is someone who sets the table for everyone else He did it last night

He's been doing all year and like it's really cool to see that Get championed you know after we've coming off an era where that position has been mostly a score now to talk about that particular situation in play, there's a couple of guys I would think of, Steph Curry would be number one on that list, is who would do something like that, retreat back to three point line like that, it would be Steph Curry for sure.

I think Damien Lillard probably would have pulled from deep, before, you know, not that he can't get to the rim, but in that situation, he's got the confidence and the skill set to say, I'm gonna just take it from right here. I think De'Aaron Fox might have tried. I don't know if he would have been successful John Morant probably would not have retreated because he's not as strong a three-point shooter. So it's not it's not as rare Dan I thought it was more interesting that the Pacers there after timeout play was Even though we're advancing the ball to the front court

We're running almost like an arena football league kind of style set where everyone's in the back court and now we're running up and obviously they've got five guys out there who could shoot three including Miles Turner so that adds a complication I think it's like a combination of Rick Carlisle great play calling and Tyrese Halliburton great recognition of what's happening on the floor can we ease up on Halliburton because he doesn't have that opportunity unless knee Smith carries them back into the know We can't wasn't Halliburton that got him back into the game

No, it was an ancillary player who got them back into the game Like can we ease up on and by the way, he didn't step back far enough It would have been the most embarrassing moment in NBA history How they lost that game shit take I love Stu gots because we are one segment off from him saying he's better than Damien Lillard Can we ease up on all the days? No, we cannot playing both sides The how's this for numbers because I know that people don't numbers like numbers. How about this one though? How about just this one all the numbers seem to be 99.8 Yes, okay

The odds of winning all three of those games that I gave you those win probabilities on are one in three hundred and eighty seven thousand 147 you don't care It's so many numbers Gillian I think it's more than like one in two hundred ninety thousand. Thank you. Howie Schwab I like I like Mike's theory that all of these numbers for me has been analytics. It's just a guy named Elias Hispanic guy Dan Everybody thought it was this big like firm. No, it's just a dude named Elias I remember when the Brewers a comeback. Let's put that up there this big like firm, no it's just a dude named Elias. Ah, feels like 1985, 1986.

I remember when the Brewers, hey, all right, we'll come back. Let's put that up there. I'd like to continue the beef between Amin and Elias, the Elias Sports Bureau. I remember, I used to use them in about 1997. They were so progressive. You'd pick up a phone and you'd call somebody

and they would have the original computer there. They would call you back. What do you have to get back to? You would call. Yes progressive you'd pick up a phone and and you'd call somebody and they would have the original computer there They would call you back. What do you hate? You'd call they'd have to call you back We did that like when we were on ESPN Dan would ask one of those crazy questions that it was impossible to find an answer to and I would just dial up a landline Hello Elias, so somebody would be there on the other side and be like hey I need to know when Halliburton shoots for three, but with three seconds left,

what's his percentage if he does this X, Y, and Z and then go, all right, I'll call you back. It would take 48 minutes for them to get back to you. And then I just learned code on like basketball reference. I was good. That's the most important part, Tony, is that they would call you back, but always after you needed it.

Like I need this. I'm live on the air and kind of need to know. I'm on deadline. They would always call you back after, it. Like I need this. I'm live on the air. I'm on deadline. They would always call you back after with like, nevermind. Next thing, have that answer for you. Thanks. I got it. I like Tony's way better though that you're calling

and somebody's like at a boy. Elia. Chuffles over. We need Halliburton's three pointers. And he goes, he's thinking. No, it's thinking 99%. The noise is in the background. Yeah, yeah.

The thing about this, though, that I ask you, Stugats, because I see that now Chris Cody, a descendant of his father, you, Tony, you're doing this thing now where you're saying, I don't want numbers. I don't ruin the game with math and everyone's doing it and it is a ruiner. Like sports are better enjoyed the way that you're doing it, jolly and ignorant. Ignorant.

I just don't, like last night what had happened is rare. That's good. Right. That's it. That's enough. Never seen it before. Right. It's just like one in seven hundred and eighty two thousand. Chances That's it. It's enough like that cover seen it before right just like yeah one in 782,000 chances of that happening. It's just like oh, it's just like I get it shocking It doesn't happen often we got it when you guys said biggest choke ever so Biggest choke ever statistically no one likes you at a party man get out. I like this character You're not getting invited back to the party pal. You brought chips

Leave you brought Jeremy in that vest Doug funny. Oh, I was talking to the smart guy Mike walked in today and earnestly said to Jeremy are you doing a grid of death punishment like what's going on here? Because he went vest in what summer approaches Yeah, to Miami? What a ball's outside, man. What a vessel roll, white tee. What's up, 1997 Gap commercial? Hey man, the late 90s are back. Jumpin' and drivin', every wheel you got to jump down.

And you really got to jump heaven, and you will to see. I think you guys have it right. I think the better way to experience all of that is just let the hate fill your heart Yeah, and just be happy about it and don't tell me how rare it is precisely to the decimal point Just let me got it. Let me just shake my hips and laugh Is there a better hate watch? Like what there will never be a better hypothetical hate watch for us down here numbers get in the way

Like if I told you the Panthers the way that they ice game Seven last year against the Oilers it actually wasn't that long historically speaking It was like the 27th longest way to freeze a puck no that took forever They were there they were in that corner for 17 minutes make a lot Does anyone feel more relieved today than Carl Anthony towns because he missed the free throw too, but no one's talking about it This is how I OG I don't know you got him feeling relieved more relieved today than Karl Anthony Towns because he missed the free throw too, but no one's talking about it. Just talk about OG Ananova. You got him feeling relieved this morning. I don't think anybody wearing that

is like, wow, easy day for me. I think he looked at his stats and he was like, ah, I did a good job. A little bit, he's like, whew, because people can look back and say, well, he had 35 or whatever it was, or 35 and 10. I think the person that's most relieved is honestly Halliburton.

Probably, yeah. Because that would have been embarrassing. They were down four in overtime. And it looked like he was going to be The person that's most relieved is honestly Halliburton. Probably, yeah. Because. That would have been embarrassing. They were down four in overtime. Right. And it looked like he was going to be a punchline for all time. What about John Halliburton?

Because he was dancing and doing a choke sign in the club. Watching hockey. What if they had lost, that's what he's doing the choke sign for, right? For the Oilers. What if they had lost that game? That would become a meme forever. Yes.

Like when someone thinks they have a result in the bag, they would just put Halliburton doing that. It wouldn't be the Knicks choking, it would be him literally choking. The funny thing is they have ESPN on behind him. That's what Channel the Hockey Game was on last night. I think he is talking about them. I mean, do you think the series is over?

Like, did the Pacers win the series last night? Cause I think the Knicks are gonna come back and win this series. They do. Pacers in one, no, I don't know. Yeah, it's like we always say. No, but a lot of people are assuming Pacers. Hey, like you can't lose that game at home. It's game one. You have home court that the Pacers won the series last night. I think before the game last night, it was already a coin toss for me. I think these are two good

teams that have guys that are transcendent and have type of defensive players that you need in order to win these type of series. They lost game one, the Knicks did. I don't think that ends their season. They can come back and all they gotta do is win one in Indiana. It's the same thing I told Dan when the Thunder lost game one to the Nuggets and Dan was like,

oh my God, and I said, Dan, all they gotta do is win one in Denver and that's it. We're back to square one. Hopes for this series were sky high entering it because it had all the makings. You have two teams. Remember how the Pacers choked away last year's Eastern Conference Finals.

They were losing games the way that the Knicks lost last night. It was insane the way that Rick Carlisle found ways to lose against Boston last year. You have two teams that are really good at coming back and displayed that this postseason. You also have two teams that are really good at coming back, have displayed that this postseason. You also have two teams, to be quite frank, they're not that good.

From what we've seen out of championship level teams that make it to the NBA finals, there's a very new NBA. So both these teams gotta kinda learn how to win on the fly, so I think it's gonna be a long series, and it's probably gonna get crazier. If you take the name off the Indiana Pacers, and you look at the stats that they've done since January, like you said, Dan, that's a team that you could say,

that team wins the title very easily. I don't think anybody's beating OKC, but I would like to see it. I'd also like to point out that some people are saying that Jeremy looks like an inner city substitute teacher who's in over his head. Yeah. Nick Freemont? It's accurate.

Man, when I left the house this morning, I really thought I looked great. I really did. I felt really confident. This is from Ramona Shelburne after saying multiple times that he... Oh man, I thought she was going to roast Jeremy. This is from Ramona Shelburne. Like a personal text. Jeremy looks like he's on the back nine.

The biggest disappointment of my life. I was so excited. Look guys, I'm invested in my fashion. She texted you information? I mean. After saying multiple times, she's talking to Rick Carlisle and Rick Carlisle has been very careful to say of the Knicks fan base that Halliburton's choke gesture wasn't a big deal

because he says he doesn't want to rile up the Knicks fan base and so now he's shrugging and saying Tyrese has earned the right to do whatever he wants. That's starch stiff Rick Carlisle saying that. I mean he did he, I watched his press conference. He, every time they ask somebody, like, look guys, I'm not even going into the historical element of that, like, this fan base is pretty engaged as it is, and we have nothing but the utmost respect, and dah, dah, dah, and then later on someone asks him,

like, how did you feel about Tyrese doing the choke symbol, and he's like, oh, Tyrese earned the right to do whatever he wants, and we're like, ah, it's a little contradictory there. If he wins the title, we gotta have a conversation about old Rick Carlisle. Oh, he's like, oh, Tyreson earned the right to do whatever he wants. And he's like, oh, it's a little contradictory there. If he wins the title, we've got to have a conversation about old Rick Carlisle. Oh, he's back. Remember when they won, everyone was like,

this guy's the best coach in the league. And then over time, it was like, this guy's an idiot. And now he's back to, oh my god, he might be the best coach in the league. Whose voice was that? That's the guy that doesn't believe in Rick Carlisle. Let me talk more to him. Oh, hey, you're nice to go, Dad.

Why don't you believe in him? You know, all those years when he'll remember he got into it with Ray John Rondo, what was that about? And then him and Luca, they didn't really get along and know that. But now it's like it's cool again. Don't forget how the Mavs made it to the finals.

Who's that guy? That's also that same guy. Same guy, yeah. That's my buddy. We're at the board together. We're at the board together. We're in a group chat together. Yeah, yeah. He's talking about other things too, not just Riccola. The NBA Finals are almost here and every second counts with DraftKings Sportsbook an official sports betting partner of the NBA

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but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No yes get almost almost anything delivered with uber eats order now alcohol in select markets see after details down libertar we have a photo right here if you can see in this photo with my daughter there I'm pointing exactly to the point on the Stanley Cup where it says you suck ass two guards right there it's like yeah yeah they got an engraved it. Really? They got that engraved in the jar? Yeah, they got it engraved right there. It says, Chris Whittingham sucks ass. This is the Don LeBathard Show with the Stoogats.

Jason Benetti is our favorite play-by-play announcer now in any sport. He's climbing up the rankings way too quickly. More than Whitty. Uncomfortably. Yeah, more than Whitty. He's more charming, more likeable, less stubborn than witty. Witty coming on here, having an alter- Look, let me just rewind for a second.

As if it weren't bad enough that he said that Giannis Antetokounmpo was the league's best number two. We didn't even talk about the fact that that made Chris Middleton the number one. Just like, we left that part totally out, and then he doubles down on the take. Benetti knows how to be likable. This is one of his chief traits, and one of the reasons that he's so likable around here is the impressions. I mean, your impression's pale

compared to this man's impressions. I disagree. Okay. And I also think we'll call this a bum. Cosign. Try that impression, Benetti. Yes, can you do, hey Benetti can you do Pacers fan who's always got something bad to say about Rick Carlyle as an impersonation? Bet you

don't have that one in your holster Benetti. No I can do it as a Chicago person who doesn't like Rick Carlyle but the Indiana accent is lost on me. Well, it was lost on a mean too. I don't think that there was much. I never said I was from Indiana. I just said I don't like Rick Carlisle. Just a guy. Until he wins again. Until he wins again.

I still don't like him either. But if he wins again. As well. He might be the best coach ever. In addition to. I'll take it Chicago style. I mean, I will, Benetty. Yeah, but I don't think Benetty's got a whole lot

of opinions on Rick Carlisle, but perhaps you're a sports lover. Perhaps, why don't you give us some not-pr lot of opinions on rick carlisle but perhaps your sports lover perhaps why don't you give us some not prisoner of the moment takes in the first uh... hour twenty minutes of today because we are fueled by new york a arson got to said that uh... tiradeus haliburton is better than damian lillard yet uh... we have identified last night's joke is the greatest joke in the history of all chokes uh... is all and and i think we've also said that tops uh... the reggie miller

eight points in nine seconds choke as i was arguing i still don't know if last night's joke is the biggest in the history between these two teams so even though your baseball announcer do you have any opinions on any of these things i think that carlisle guy he's got a play halibut more why don't you play halibut and that guy easy easy? He got all those defense contracts What's he doing? I don't understand you gotta like if you're in New York, I

Hate the Knicks. Okay, I hate the Knicks cuz Anthony Mason and all those guys, but you gotta play Halliburton more Did you see that North Korean worship fall into the ocean? Oh, you gotta use the voice. Hold on, what are you doing? What are you doing? Better, better. The Korean worship, what's up with that?

Oh, it's embarrassing. Did you fall out of character? Did you deliver news as yourself instead of? I'm still workshopping it, all right? Okay. I don't know, I don't get this guy sometimes. He acts like this in a group chat, too. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Stugats, you were talking the other day about missing when an NBA coach looked like an NBA coach in the days of Cotton Fitzsimmons. You'll be happy to know that Bruce Bochy is still a manager in the big leagues. Do you want to guess who the manager of the Twins is? It's a name that will delight you. Ooh, the Twins, the Twinkies. It's still Gartenhire. Wrong, Gartenhire, Garty? It's always been that will delight you. Oh, the twins, the Twinkies. It's still Gardenhire.

Gardenhire? It's always been Gardy. Yeah. Go ahead. You can help them here if you'd like. Look at how disgusted. It's not Gardy, huh? Benetti is disgusted with them right there.

There's very little baseball knowledge in this room, and it's offensive. But when you say the name, it will delight Stugatz, I assure you, Benetti. It's the Woonsocket Rocket himself, Rocco Baldelli. Oh! Wow. Wow. What a time. I had no idea. I assure you, Benetti. It's the Woundsocket Rocket himself, Rocco Baldelli. Oh! Wow!

Wow! What a time. I had no idea. The twins are good, the Tigers are good. Benetti, your Tigers are good. The Tigers are really good. They're really fun. And honestly, they just went to St. Louis

and had all the business in the world to lose two of three or three of three. They had a bullpen game yesterday. They got blown out in game one of the series and they won the last two games of the series. They really are like a Ted Talk waiting to happen because they use the whole roster more than most teams in Major League Baseball.

They use the bench basically every day. Like get your red pen out. There was a game last week against the Red Sox that the two guys that were involved in the game winning run didn't even start and it was extra innings. It is honestly really really fun to watch. And by the way, the Bruce Bochy comment, if you listen, I just had a Rangers game recently. Listen to Bruce Bochy and the actor Sam Elliott. They are 100% voice sound-alikes. It is great, you're not kidding.

Yeah, Bochy's got this low rumble that, what is it? It just gives off Southland, something deep, deep in Texas. I don't know what it is, but it's a rumble from another time. Yeah, no, he's a, I listen to that Wichita Lineman song and yeah, there's a lot in there that makes sense to me, but I work with my hands more than that sort of thing. How does he feel about Ricardo?

Does he think Ricardo's good or not? The operator that's been around is the one. Is that Scooby Doo? Ah man, I don't know. I'm still trying to find the voice. Keep working on it. It's like, Amin tried to work the other day. I was just working on Tag Me Here. Amin was trying to do comedy the other day for Andrew Santino, and now the two of you are trying to do impersonations for...

I wasn't trying to do comedy for Andrew Santino. I was doing a paid read that I had to do for this show. Whoa! Oh, you didn't, they didn't know it was sponsored? Whoa! When it said weekend observations are brought to you by? You thought that was just part of the bit? A paid read? Why are you lashing out at the paid read for?

Because you called it comedy for Andrew Santino and that's not what it was. But what happened was you were doing... You don't know what you're talking about, Dan LeBoucheard! Odd arguments. You and Rick Carlisle both don't know what you're talking about, Dan LePageard. Odd arguments. You and Rick Carlisle both don't know what you're talking about. Why didn't Bonetti talk about it? Let's not forget he lost the NBA Cup. He did.

OK. Bonetti, before you came on with us, we were talking. They were making fun of me and Jeremy correctly because we were just talking a lot about numbers. And I know baseball is inundated with the advanced metrics. I know you've had to evolve as a broadcaster and get better at doing all the measurements, but I can also feel like I say to you,

it's kind of ruining the sport even as you get more information about the sport. Is it not? Or do you enjoy the numbers so much that it can't do it for you? I'm not just talking about this sport. I'm talking about just the hedge funding in general of numbers all over sports

so that it just kind of ruins fun. And so I agree that you play Monopoly enough times and everybody knows all the strategy. And I think that's where baseball actually, it's shocking to say that baseball has been on the front end of something, but they have been with the rule changes, because I think you see a lot more stolen bases now

in baseball because of those rules. But I think what it is more than just like fun being gone because of the numbers, I think it's once you size up a game so well, you just kind of know how it plays. And at that point, you then like have your house rules of monopoly, where if you land on free parking, you get the money, or like you have to go around once before you can buy properties, like you just have to change the rules.

And I think like that's what's coming probably in all sports, because we have so much information now, and teams are able to go ahead and try to like quote unquote optimize right like then you have to change the rules you have to do something that makes it different and then make them spend years re-optimizing I think it's rather than say I want it back to what it used to be I think we probably need to say these leagues have to push to make the rules different so we can see a different game and watch 30 teams scramble to get their numbers in order. Mike, what are you and Tony making fun of me about? Well, because you've been on a number kick lately, and I think yesterday you invoked when talking about, well, two days ago when talking about baseball, hedge fund analytics, and we just all kind of took it. Like, what are you talking about baseball, hedge fund analytics, and we just all kind of took it. What are you talking about?

Are you guys not aware that hedge funds and private equity are bleeding America dry? Yeah, but I don't know what they have to do with analytics in baseball. Again, that was also out of left field. That you get so much bleeding America. That you're, let's just keep it to sports. Come on, man.

This is sports stuff, it's hard. What are you talking about? Look guys, Dan's just looking for the vest of the best How bad was that dog unfunny get out of here That's your team. Wait, we inject people major penalty five minutes rooming comedy I mean that that was so impossibly lame what he just did there. I didn't like it either. It's like he doesn't understand how to do self-deprecation. He thinks too highly of himself to do it well.

He's wearing a vest, Dan. So is it insincere, you think? Or like he just doesn't know? It's like an instruction manual in a different language. He is. But Nettie hates Jeremy Dash. He's been him for like three minutes. Spot on.

But the reason I brought up the question is something that you're delighting in, right? Which is the evolution of the game that makes it so that it's not Mike Mordecai on your bench anymore. It's you've got the Tigers have 25 players, they're going to rest them. The 162 game schedule is insane. And they figured out how to exploit market inefficiencies.

But you're saying that this is fun for you. And I'm saying it's probably less fun when a line drive over second base is caught by the second baseman because he's got a card in his pocket that tells him exactly where to play yet that the fun for me is being with a team i love what's on the screen right now is that there was a there was a game show on nickel odian called finders keepers where the kids would have to go up to the screen with little like sticky notes,

and they'd be like, find the frying pan, and they'd have to put the picture of the frying pan up on the thing, the cartoon thing. That looks like what we're playing right now. He didn't answer Dan's question. No, I'll answer the question. I actually, by the way, I'm having trouble hearing you. Honestly, truly, my audio is a little low.

So if I've missed something, that's why. But what I would say is, there it is, Finders Keepers. Yes, let's go. How did you find that that quickly, I guess, because you kept it? I don't know. But the idea being, you have super guys on the bench who can do specific things. Like there's a right handed bat on the Tigers bench who just mashes left handed pitching.

That's what he's there for. You pull the trigger on him in the sixth inning. And by the way, I don't know that people do this enough in Major League Baseball. But when you have a guy on the bench that you know can hit a certain reliever that you think might be able to, is likely to come in the game, you can choose that guy to face that pitcher. So there actually is something to pinch hitting. Everybody's like, well, you're right out the lineup in baseball. You never really know exactly what's going to happen. And whether you get that at bat or not, that's up to the baseball gods. Now when you pinch hit, when you pinch hit you're like that's the guy this is what's gonna happen.

I don't know why I turned into Robbie Hummel there for a second. That's what they do. He goes over his right shoulder. I don't know what's going on here but I do that sometimes so I apologize. What else do you have for us? Do you have any impersonations that you've been working on? Do you want us to take some guesses? Do you have anything that you've added to your repertoire? This is putting a lot of pressure on you, but you do seem to enjoy this playground more than most. I love that it's a playground. It is officially a playground

because of that cartoon mural you got going on there. I used to do a Jim Rome impression from back in the day. I don't know if I could do it anymore. Do we like Jim Rome impression? Do we a Jim Rome impression from back in the day. I don't know if I could do it anymore. Do we like Jim Rome impression? Do we like Jim Rome? He invented this thing. I'm in the jungle. This is very exciting.

When's the last time you broke out your Jim Rome? A couple of years ago on a White Sox team charter, the hook of it, I was driving around San Diego as a kid. And I don't know why I remember this, but he had Oakland Athletics pitcher Barry Zito as a guest and he just kept talking about how Barry Zito was a musician. So the hook for me has always been a player

and an instrument. So he'd be like, this is the premier radio network. Barry Zito is here with his guitar, Mike Lieberthal and his flute at 445. Terrible take. Actually, re-rack it. You can re-rack it. Who did you grow up listening to?

Like, who, did Jim Rome, was his effect something that, that hypnotized a young Benetti? I was, we were on vacation in San Diego and there's this guy who's just talking about a bunch of major league players and their band evidently. And it just, it was sort of mesmerizing to me. So, you know, it was just always, it was always that hook. But like I grew up listening to Hawk Harrelson,

we know Hawk Harrelson, right? I followed him as the White Sox play by play announcer. And one of my favorite Hawkisms, I used to like run around fourth grade doing Hawk Harrelson impressions, but I used to always like how dejected he got when he would be like, stay fair. It won't.

I'm just kidding. I was like, shit. It was't. That's as wrong shape. It was like the elation, there's like this super elation and then my goldfish died. Like, stay fair. It won't. That's as wrong shape. Do you have a favorite radio broadcast?

In Major League Baseball? Yes, like a team. So I love Pat Hughes from the Cubs and his always partner named Ron. Right, he had Ron Santo forever and then just to make it easy for Pat, I feel like they went and got Ron Kummer. But Pat, because you know, like us play by play now,

we don't know everybody's name. Are you saying more qualified people did not get the job because their name wasn't Ron? There's a decent chance of that if we're being honest. Like, you know, people came walking in the room and Pat was like, well, my first question is your name Ron, Ronnie? And they're like, no, I'm Frank. And he's like, well, I'll be calling you Ron.

The Cubs are wearing the white trousers. Jason, can you do an impression of the Chicago Pope for us, please? I seriously could not hear that. My audio has been low. Can you just yell that like an American fan for me please? Can you do an impression of the Chicago Pope please? You know, I was doing the Pontiff things

and I was listening to the White Sox a couple years ago and I was like, yeah, this guy, he laughs a little too much, honestly. The new pope, by the way, lived at one point like four blocks away from where I grew up. So the text thread of my high school friends devolved from like, he ate pizza at Aurelio's to isn't it funny that the new pope has an opinion about your work? That is a good point, man. That's crazy. Like the leader of the Catholic faith, man,

over a billion people across the world listen to a man who's like, I don't know what this Benetti guy's doing, calling this game, man. Wait a minute, so do you think the pope was a Jim Rome fan? Ooh, of course. White smoke, 445. Possible black smoke. White smoke, 445. Possible black smoke later on.

Jim Lampley is here Friday. Welcome to the jungle. This is the premier radio network. Lampley. One of the go-tos. Have you heard Frank Caliendo's Jim Roam? We will see if we can get some of that for Benetti, because I think that Caliendo's

got the best Jim Rome that I've ever heard. I don't think that... Caliendo has the best everything. I don't ever want to do any impression that Frank Caliendo does because it's like doing hockey the day after Doc Emrick. That's why I pick all the esoteric ones. I don't know that Caliendo does the Sports Center guy, but when you're, you know, like if he does,

then I'm gonna have to retire the Sports Center brought to you by Applebee's. Oh shit. Hold on, hold on. Let me rebut. Sports Center brought to you by Coors Light. Can't follow Benetti. That's Harvey Fierstein.

Yeah. And also the less superior beer. Yes. Yeah, why'd you do that? Same company. You can keep that one, Benetti. It's the same company. I know, we're safe.

Are you guys really making fun of me, or is that simply invest? When you see a girl you like, do you hear, ah? Yeah, in fact, I do. My wife, my wife. Jason, through the through the season, the best moment you've seen so far. The best moment is Javi Baez last Tuesday. Walk off home run like that dude was down for the count in so many ways

and then ended up becoming a hero again. He's hit the ball really well. That's specific to the Tigers. The best moment of the season might actually have been the other day in that Mets Red Sox game though when Walker Bueller and Mike Estabrook, pitcher and umpire, started to do one of those like saloon doors swaying in the breeze, Wild West standoffs walking toward each other from the mound and the plate. Baseball announcers like to flower up some Westerns there when it was just like, it's not quite all of that, Benetti.

Me and Mike are arguing back here because we were in Mexico with Cuervo Doing our thing over there and there was a bathroom in the hotel that had saloon doors and me and Mike came away with two Different opinions on saloon doors. They're useless. They're terrible who installs saloon doors. What do you don't get privacy? They don't swing the way that they do in the movies. They always ricochet right he wasn't doing it right You know, it's not even you don't get the cool effect or anything like that It's not the way that it works in real life. It just sucks You gotta step through and then they swing behind you

Where someone's walking now, you got a beeline you don't worry about it. You step through the ferry. That's what you do most practical door It's great Than a curtain hit somebody on the paid saloon doors. Also, they're not there it. I love it. Worse than a curtain. Might have hit somebody on the way. Hate saloon doors. Also, they're not there for privacy. They're there to look cool, dude. You want to look cool? You want to be private. I guess they do sort of look cool.

And then you have to actually use one. Walk through, and then you walk and you survey the whole room. You don't just walk through. They never work that way. They never work that way. Walk with purpose. Sounds like the Wild Wild Vest in here. Mm-hm. Walk with purpose. Sounds like the Wild Wild Vest in here. Mm-hmm.

God damn him. Ha ha ha. It feels a little bit, it feels a little bit like saloon doors are the biggest villain on this show for weeks. No, it's Jeremy Tachay. Yeah, no doubt. Put it on the poll, please, at Levitard Show. He can't leave fast enough.

I don't I don't even have enough buttons for what it is that he's doing. Just click one of them Dan, for god's sake. Minor penalty, two minutes high-sticking. Jason, we need to have an ejection animation. We need to have an injection animation. We need to have somebody just that. Yeah. Just how about just a vaudevillian cane of some sort, something because we can't get

anything modern around here. So why don't we go 1950s? He should be yanked out of here with a giant cane by the vest. You just put it in, you insert it in the vest and yank him right out of here. Jason, nice seeing you, always nice seeing you. Thank you for making the time, sir. Thank you guys. I hope this marital dispute works itself out.