The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers (feat. David Samson)

Episode Date: April 30, 2025

David and Zaslow share the details of Dan's shame as his ineptitude almost ruined Valerie's birthday. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Cuervo Cuervo The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo, Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly. queervo. Welcome to the big suey presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode is presented by DraftKings.

DraftKings, the crown is yours. What are you laughing about, I mean, just the timing of our executive producer? I'm laughing at you laughing at his timing. It's just perfect. It was, it was mwah. Just didn't tell me what he was doing, didn't inform me, just barreled on ahead.

We should get a divorce, Chris. Yeah, there it is. Another check box, Tony, you're on the- The last one, yeah. On deck. David Sampson is with us now. Nothing Personal is the name of his podcast. There are a number of different things

that I wanted to talk to him about today inside and outside of sports, but he made Zaslow's dreams come true. Zaslow feels like he's on a heater ever since David Sampson, and he made a bet, a giant bet, that now ends with the Heat producing the last good thing they did this season, really, in terms of getting Zaslow work here, paid work here,

and tickets two nights to Pearl Jam that our audience is sick of hearing about. So you guys wanna hug each other here. Hello, David. And be grateful for your new found friendship I don't know what your relationship was before this we're not so were you but were you somebody who who said a lot of bad things about David Sampson's ownership and not the Marlins no no and especially because I was always for the stadium like this stadium here so now

we have baseball like for me and team sucks you know but there's baseball here forever now David had a major part to do with that. So I've never said bad things. No, I'm not sure I recollect it that way, but I do know that I enjoyed watching you at the Pearl Jam concert. The only issue I had as as and we talked about whether we should stand at concerts when we did show together last week. But what I didn't realize is that I was not going to hear any better the entire night.

All I heard was your voice, every word, every song in my ear. And I didn't know what to do. I thought of an elbow. I thought of earplugs. I thought of switching seats, but I didn't have a seat. It was a whole McGill. But your voice is mediocre. Why didn't you have a seat? It was a whole McGilla, but your voice is mediocre. Why didn't you have a seat?

Because Levitard is outrageous. Do you understand what happened? What happened is we had tickets and they were hard tickets, actual tickets, not on the phone. Tickets were distributed to each of the people in our party about an hour and a half prior to the concert. When it came time to enter the venue and show the ticket,

Dan Levatard says, sorry, I can't find my ticket. He lost his ticket, which would have kept him out of the concert. He was there for his wife, for her birthday. So my girlfriend has to go looking in a casino for his ticket. Doesn't find it. And I'm forced to get him in because I knew security people at the concert.

By the way, that was so impressive. Like David made a phone call and a guy came out and like we're okay, even though Dan doesn't have a ticket to maybe the toughest ticket I've ever seen down here. So Dan gets into the concert. There are eight of us for only seven tickets. So we squeeze in and all of a sudden, there's this guy standing where our seat is. And I, no one else said a word,

Dan is just sort of standing there with his eyes half open. And I said, excuse me, this is not your seat. And what does this man do? Oh, he showed the ticket? He showed the ticket. That was Dan's ticket. Because who else has a physical ticket? Like, obviously, it's Dan's ticket.

He found it on the floor of a slot machine or a craps table. And he said, oh, I guess I've got a ticket to the concert. And he shows up, legitimate ticket, goes to his seat. And I look like a jackass because I said to the guy who actually was quite built and quite strong. And I was, it was sort of a Yanis Helleberten situation. I said, this is not your seat. And he shows me the ticket and I had to do tail between the legs

and turn around and do a 180. Oh, you gotta call him out. You gotta be like, no, you just found that. These are our eight seats. Hold on, hold on. I have some follow-up questions. David, you said the tickets were distributed an hour and a half before showtime.

Who distributed the paper tickets? I did. Well, that's your fault. Well, why? Because if it were someone else, I would say, well, they wouldn't know any better, but you knew better, man. You gave that's your fault. Well, why? Because if it were someone else, I would say, well, they wouldn't know any better, but you knew better, man. You gave Dan a physical ticket.

You trusted Dan in that, really? It's fair. KYP, know your personnel. Give it to Valerie. I'm not gonna enable that sort of behavior. You've gotta be able to hold on to a ticket. And this is, of course, after I'd run into Dan, only 45 minutes before that that with $5 chips falling

out of his hand because he had like, he was the guy who, oh, color change. Oh no, I'm okay here. So like- Walked away with like $100, well, probably more than $100 worth, but just that. Oh, $5 chips. Just arms full of $5 chips.

KYP, man. If I want to give Dan something, I give it to Valerie. I give it to Mike. I give it to anybody else. I don't give it to Dan. I refuse to take any blame in this. What I know is, is that I had to share one seat with Kara. And it was fine because we're both relatively small, but you have to picture sharing one seat next to Zazlo,, by the way, very impressive, knows every word to every song. So a ruinous experience for David Sampson

to have to sit next to Zaslow after helping Zaslow and everyone secure these tickets. I have no defense for anything that is in my face other than utter shame because I'm an idiot. And while his girlfriend was looking for the ticket, I was just standing there paralyzed in fear. When he says my eyes were half open, it's because I've ruined my wife's birthday

because I'm a toddler who can't be trusted with a paper ticket. Hold on, Dan, were you paralyzed with fear or was there any other substance that was paralyzing you? Okay, I understand. I understand, that's not even an objection. I understand this idiocy would have to be drugged, but no, no, no, it's perfectly sober.

It's just, I'm that sloppy on the details. And so let me just cover a few different things here. Do you know how humiliating it is to be standing there and a man produces a ticket, I know to be mine, and he has proof that he belongs in that seat, and I do not, and I know that's my, I know that's my ticket. So it was an aisle seat,

because if the guy claimed the third seat from the end, that's incredible, and he just sat in the middle of all of you. That's what I mean, was this an end seat? No. This is insane, you guys didn't call this guy out. Hold on a second, so he sat in the middle of your group? No, no, he sat at the end,

he sat at the fringes of our group next to me, me, seething that he had my stolen ticket, but if I called security, though the only person who got in illegally was me! I get, look, I get that he has that ticket, so he's gonna get to stay, but you at least can call him out on the shame of, we know you just found that ticket. We did that, That was done.

That was done. Both me and my wife said it to him and so did Samson. Samson also said it to him. David, you have a law degree. I'm sure you're familiar with the Supreme Court case, People versus Maxwell Santos. Finders keepers, losers weepers. And possession is nine tenths of the law.

That too. Just looking at this guy. We had zero standing, but I will point out that what did happen nine tenths of the law. That too. Just looking at we had zero standing. But I will point out that what did happen during the course of the concert, when I was had Zazzo my left ear, I was glaring far more not toward Eddie Vedder. I was glaring at this guy the entire time, like I was dressing him down. Some good side. I love some good side. Oh, it was. Well, not only was it good side, I will say this down. Some good side eye. Love some good side eye.

Oh, it was some good side eye. Well, not only was it good side eye, I will say this on behalf of the side eye. This was a show for all time. And he left about seven or eight songs in because of whatever it was our with our withering stares from the side of our eyes was doing to him. Maybe found a better seat. That's possible. Found some other. Maybe found a better seat. That's possible. Found some other idiot who lost a better seat. There was no better seat, I would point out,

which we did for Zaslow and for Dan, you and your wife, but he left what I perceived to be in shame because of all the side eyes, but he did get the first hour of a Pearl Jam concert and really good seats. And I'd like to go through what was in his mind upon finding this ticket, when all over hard rock were people saying,

you got one, anybody got one, you got two, I got, people were trying to buy tickets and there was not one ticket available. And there comes row N, like right perfect, right? It's like mana from heaven. And he says, what do I do with this? And the guy goes to the concert, doesn't sell it, doesn't return the ticket, which of course is what in a dream world you would do is say, Oh, I think somebody dropped this. That didn't quite happen. He just went into

the venue. How do we know he didn't flip the ticket? Maybe the guy that you guys are talking to is in that seat, actually bought it off of someone who scalped it. How are you so sure that it was? He knows what he did. I love where your heads at because he left. I thought of that during the show. If he had stayed the whole time and like wanted to selfie with Dan because he happened to buy a ticket that he found himself right next to the biggest celebrity, second biggest behind Jelios, but the one of the biggest celebrities in this, in the crowd, I assume he would have wanted an autograph, maybe a photo. I mean, David, you remember I was next to you, right?

Give me a player comp on this guy. Who did this guy look like? He looked like Tony from survivor 28 28. The winner of this season. Not helpful in any way. Go more obscure. He was just on the traitors. He looks like my friend, Manuel. I think that's useless.

Uselessly helpful. Nobody here watches what you're talking about. Thank you. That's fine. That's fine. You guys watch. I don't think this guy did anything wrong, if I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you.

He found a ticket, he used the ticket. What's he supposed to supposed to do walk out Dan Leventhal. Did you lose a ticket? Yeah, I'm the guy who did the wrong thing I'm not blaming him for anything other than he didn't have a story for the ticket when confronted by two people the Back and forth was that's not your ticket and his response was yes it is and that's all he had. He's right. That's all he had. He got some Vin Diesel vibes. He also had the ticket. Vin Diesel vibes for this guy. Yes, there was some Vin Diesel to him as well, but that was irrelevant. He got smaller and smaller as the night got on because he was ashamed because he knew we had turned on our phone lights on his ticket and that wasn't his ticket.

And he knew it wasn't his ticket and we knew it wasn't his ticket. And it wasn't just one phone light. What we did is we sort of surrounded him and each of us had our phone lights on it. And then we were looking at the other tickets making sure that it was numerically in order. It was so obvious that he had done something that he should not have done because

he didn't own up to it. I would have respected if he had just said, dude, I found this on the ground. I didn't know it was yours, but now it's mine. He stayed silent other than to say it's my ticket. He wasn't expecting to be confronted. That part is true. Again though, I'm the idiot and I had to sit next to that. I had to sit next to, stewing in my own shame. And David's wondering why my eyes are half closed. It means accusing me of substances. No, it's my shame. Has filled up to my nose and I can no longer keep my eyes open.

I just want to reiterate, again, this is all David's fault. You don't hand Dan something. Keep my eyes open. I just want to reiterate, again, this is all David's fault. You don't hand Dan something. You don't hand Dan something. You are incapable of accountability. This is Halliburton's, this is security's fault, not Halliburton's dad. But you're incapable of accountability.

You lost the ticket. It is, I'm saying it's my fault. What kind of accountability? Like there's nobody's fault here but mine. No, I mean, there's something happened before you lost it, which is David handed it to you. Clearly David is the Genesis. Why was David's girlfriend tasked with finding the ticket?

She just ran in a emergency situation and just disappeared. I looked around. Why do you think I was paralyzed with fear? Because my life was coming apart. And I was weak in the knees, and so she sprung into action, and nobody else was moving except for David who's another springer into action

who immediately rushes in another direction to make sure to get security. Okay, now here's my question. Let's assume for a second that David's magic with the security wasn't gonna happen. Like hey, no ticket, no entry, case closed. What were you going to do as a group? Like two and a half hours of slots by myself. hey, no ticket, no entry, case closed. What were you going to do as a group? Were you gonna?

Like two and a half hours of slots by myself. No, no, not true. Cause we already discussed it, that Kara would not have gone to the concert. It was your moment with your wife for her birthday. Whoa. And that she would have given up her ticket. No one told me that.

Hold on a second. I was thinking Zazz's kid. I was thinking Zazz's kid doesn't go. It crossed my mind that I may be the one that's out. Hold on a second. Dan loses his ticket. And immediately, it's like David Samson's girlfriend has to go to the fine ticket.

And if you don't, you're not going to the concert. That's the first time. That's crazy. Hold on. Hold on. That's the first I'm hearing of that. That was not brought in any way. This is going to lead to another divorce.

This is the first I'm hearing of that. That is, I don't know whether that's true or not. That can't be true. Oh yeah, no, we had the conversation. So much happened to him while you were here. You have to understand what they were doing. Yes, paralyzed with fear. There was seven people staring at him saying,

where's your ticket? That's right, I mean, searching pockets. His wife was getting anxious. And search, hold on, hold on. And searching pockets that had proven to be empty the previous 27 times I had. The old third check, the old third check to make sure he or she.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on, I want you to see how alone I was in a teeming crowd, crowd full of people, giant amounts of people rushing to get in. Also, I was pretty cocky 20 minutes earlier that we would all get there on time, there would be no problem. I had my pockets inside out.

They had been rummaged through, all of them, 27 times by the time I realized his girlfriend had fled the premises, and now it's getting worse because now everyone's panicking because they've realized, uh-oh, Dan's been Dan. Wait, I have a question. So David, you naturally would have set out the concert if your girlfriend didn't go, correct?

No. Okay. No. Only one of us had to sit out. It wouldn't have been both of us. I mean, that is a scavenger hunt that she was on with incredibly high stakes. That's why she ran.

She knew. I just realized why it is that she ran into action right now because you'd had that conversation before. It was her ticket that she was looking for for the concert. You have to understand what was happening because time was standing still because Dan had a lot of pockets. He also was going through his wallet.

He still has this old fashioned wallet with a bunch of different slots in it. There was a valet card from like six weeks ago. You're checking pockets. Maybe they'll scan this like six weeks ago. You're checking pockets. Maybe they'll scan this and let me in. You're checking pockets you would never put a ticket in. You're like, all right, no way it's here, but I'm just gonna search it.

I'm looking for pockets I'm unaware that I have on my pants. Looking for sub pockets in the pocket. You know, sometimes you get those. That little coin pocket in jeans. He did it more than once. Not more, no, I didn't. Look, trust me, I was counting. That little jean pocket, you're like, how'd it get there?

This is what I'm telling you, okay? The Panthers scored two goals, okay? And I was still searching my body, long after 11 seconds. Like, I'm, I felt like an entire third period of hockey, feeling my body. It was a long period of time that I felt alone with this, and I was gonna go sit and play slot.

And everyone is panicked, except my girlfriend who's out looking for the ticket. I'm making sure that we can get Dan in because you have to understand the background of this whole Pearl Jam concert. This was a major thing for Valerie's birthday, and it was crumbling in front of our very eyes because Dan wants the ticket and the show is about to start

because we had inside information that at 849 is when lights are out and when it starts. And Zaslow wants to be there. Valerie wants to be there. And Dan is standing there. And Dan's inside out with his pockets in the middle of the hard rock.

Okay, we've had about enough of this. And meanwhile, my son is like, what's the holdup here? Yes, and your son would have been, I think, the one that would have been the loser in that scenario. That's what I'm saying. Your son would have been playing the whole time. The holdup is, you're gonna wait here and we're gonna be back in a couple hours.

Yes, now I do need to call Zaslow on some fraudulence here real quick because it's being pointed out to me by sources that Zaslow should some fraudulence here real quick because it's being pointed out to me by sources that Zaslow should tell David how it is that he first described David Sampson to his son. Oh, I mean, I think I told David this the other day. My son, you know, a few weeks ago when I started making appearances here with you guys, and look, my son is not impressed with what I, what we do for a living. Shouldn't be.

But his friends will show him, hey look, it's your dad. He's on Dan Lebatard's show. My son's like, all right, who cares? And then they'll show him comments. And my son told me, he's like, hey, everyone's saying really nice things about you from the Lebatards. And I'm like, don't worry, that'll even out.

And then he says, you know who everyone hates? That Samson guy. Right. Well, there was something else, though. You also called him the liar who built the city for millions. That's not true. Get, find the sound forming. It is, it is.

Find the sound. Find that sound, I will wait forever. Okay, no, it's 100% true. Right next to Dan's ticket. It's 100% true. No, I'm gonna find it. No, no, I'm gonna find it. Unleash the chickens right now.

Like someone's recording Zazzos private conversations with his son? I'm not told. I wasn't offended. I'm told find it. Like someone's recording Zazzos private conversations with his son? I wasn't offended. for you. A lot of things I heard there are true actually. I love when Dan's alone as a chicken. I don't love it so much. I got to tell you it's a little more vulnerable than I would like it to be. It's an unpleasant thing to do alone. I'm going to be honest about that. Hey guys, it's Lucy and I'm gonna be honest about that. Hey guys, it's Lucy, and I'm about to tell you

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Find your push. Find your power with Peloton at BHP, a future resources company. Don LeBattard. John Zaslow, how you love that catchphrase. Bad news for opposing teams in the triple-A. Stugats. This is the Dan LeBattar Show with the Stugats. David Sampson, you've been firing everybody. There's two guards. David Sampson, you've been firing everybody. You say the Heat have to clean house, and this is getting, Chris, I don't know how you feel about this.

I don't know how the group feels about this. It got loud from one day to the next nationally on Fire Riley. The national stuff doesn't bother me. Heat fans need to back off Riley. You guys are ingrates. Not like, go be a Hornets fan. All right, look, I'm not saying it's good.

It's as bad as it's been in a long time. But I'm gonna ride it out with the Godfather as long as he wants to do it. And he's earned that, and I love this team. I just hate that Heat fans, it's just gross. This guy has given you so much joy, and he gives you two seasons in a row that are a little subpar, and you just, you lose it with them. I'm just done with it.

Samson, you've been firing Riley the last couple of days. Well I simply it's not about firing Pat. It's about him understanding that it's time and it's a tough thing when you've got someone like Pat Riley because he's never going to get fired by Mickey Harris. And we know that is true. But at some point you have to do a self evaluation and say that what we're doing simply is not working and the way we've constructed this roster is not working. And adding a third star to BAM and Hero, that is not going to be enough. And you therefore have to admit it.

And I think it's time. And frankly, Sposter looked terrible. He we talk about the fact that he acknowledged how embarrassed he was. He just for whatever issues he's having on or off the court, he looks beaten and many managers. This happens to them and coaches. It happens to them.

It's a really hard job. The Popovich's are really few and far between. It is time I believe for a fresh start in Miami and a fresh start in Miami and a fresh set of eyes and ears and voices. And that's not an indictment, Chris Cody, at all. It's been the greatest run you've had, dare I say, in South Florida sports history.

It is an indictment. How can it not be an indictment? How is that not an indictment? Because all runs come to an end, Dan. But is that not a, it's an indictment. You're saying they should be fired taking employment from them You say they're their careers should end in the disgrace of you're no longer good enough to work here What do you mean? It's not an indictment

Because all runs come to an end and that's just a fact and for people not to recognize that or realize that It's like holding on to a sixth grade t-shirt in the top shelf of your closet singing glory days on to a sixth grade t-shirt in the top shelf of your closet singing glory days. David, considering how many times Riley over the 30 years here has been able to remake this team and have success, why would you believe that he can't do it here? Because I believe that his time has passed and that's not an agent's thought. It's actually, I don't want to spoil this. I actually, I'm not going to be a responsible and be a journalist in this way. I will only say this, that what owner's job is at the end of the day,

it's not to make fans happy. It's not to have great ballparks with great concessions. What an owner's job is to win while the value of their asset increases. That's it. And what Mickey Harrison has done is both. But when one stops, which is the winning the heat were a 10 C to below 500 team.

They are overmatched. Forget what you think happened in the Cavalier series and I'll pissed off poppy is they have no path to competitiveness with this current administration in this current team and as an owner, you've got to recognize that. The path is get Yanis. That's no.

Yanis himself will not make a difference for this heat team. What? Who are you going to get? Wait, wait a minute. Are you getting Yanis as a free agent? Just getting Yanis. You get Yanis, you're an instant contender. But what do you have to get rid of to get Yanis?

Milwaukee? Mediocre? You get Yanis, you're an instant contender. Mediocre. Not good enough. I just don't understand what can a potential new regime apparently do to make this team set on the right path that you believe that this current regime can't do? I'm going to tell you, Zaz, it's the ability to actually rebuild,

which the Heat have never been willing to do. They've never been willing to understand that you may have to take three steps back and not be in the middle. Pat Riley would tell you himself, being a 10 seed or a seven seed is the, it's the worst place to be in any sport. All right. This is what's happening right now. Samson, I'm sorry, but Jeremy is stomping around in the studio saying he just wants to fire everybody and he doesn't know anything about the sport

he's talking about. I just think that deciding that firing everyone is always the solution has been proven by organization after organization after organization to not be the best thing for organizations. So if you have a front office with a proven track record of creating teams from nothing over and over and over again, the team that they had the year before they acquired

Jimmy Butler was pretty terrible. The future was Justice Winslow, Josh Richardson, Derek Jones Jr., and that was it. And they turned that into Jimmy Butler. So I'm not saying that they will do that again in terms of star acquisition, but when you're in a place where you have an all NBA center and an all star guard who were both in their 20s, I don't think that you're

at this point of total destruction when you have all of these picks laid ahead of you for the very first time in what, two decades? Like I think you're in the place that you would want a front office to be to move forward. And I think your delusion is that you think that Bam and Tyler are the centerpieces of a championship team. I have no reason to believe that those guys

can't be part of a core that goes to and wins championships because they have been part of a core that has to and wins championships because they have been part of a core that has gone to multiple championships in the last five years alongside another elite player. They need to acquire another elite player. I'm not saying that they don't need to in order for those guys to be able to win a championship. They would say that themselves,

that they need another guy to be able to win a championship. But that doesn't mean that those two players who have proven who they are, especially Bam Edibayo, can't be a centerpiece of a championship organization. I mean, David, you want these guys fired when they've been to the finals, two of the last five years. Only one of the team has done that, and that's the Celtics.

I'm trying to think of the NBA coaches who have won championships who don't have jobs now. What's that stat, Jeremy? I believe that every NBA coach of a champion in the last four years, I think one still has the job. I think I may have that. I may have a lot. Maybe I think it's five. That's most of them have been fired within three years, like three of the last five or something like that. Four of the last five. And that's after winning the heat.

You're holding that up like that should be the standard. We should do that. four of the last five. And that's after winning. The heat has not. But you're holding that up, like that should be the standard, oh we should do that, let's try to fire like. That's organizations failing. That's not the standard that you want. You want consistency. That's, I mean, I mean, an organizational reputation has to be part of that, no?

Yeah, I think that's one of the things, you know, David, like they said, you're bringing that up as something supporting your argument, you're actually supporting Jeremy's argument, that like all these teams are just chickens chasing their tails without their heads cut off. And the reality is... Chickens have a tail?

Yeah, chickens have a tail. Chasing it without the head or with the head? Yo, chicken time! There it is. What? Come here, Dan! No one asked me! Now I'm alone again!

But yeah, the point is there is a value to organizational stability, and when you know that the people doing the job are not, they're not bad at their job, right? We know that Pat Riley's good at his job. They know how to do this. We know Eric Spolcher is great at his job, one of the greatest ever. Why are we gonna say, well, someone's gotta go?

That's just such a reactionary kind of way. To me, that's kind of where the Phoenix Suns are, where it's just like, oh, it didn't work. Everyone, you get out of here and trade some more people, and all that kind of panicky is why it's not what it should be. I don't think that anyone would say, if the Heat move on from one or two of Bam, Tyler, Pat,

or Eric, that they're being panicky. I just don't think that would be the narrative surrounding those moves. I would say this is what I would say. The players is a different story because players you could say this player is great and he's done a lot of things for us. But the only way for us to get better is for us to acquire someone else. So in the case of Bam and Tyler and and slash or Tyler, if Janis is on the table, like you can't be like, oh, but I like Tyler. You gotta go because Giannis is something special,

something elite, something rare, right? But when you talk about the personnel who are making decisions, I totally don't believe in just, oh, well, it's not working, so you, it's your fault. That doesn't make sense to me, and I think a lot of teams find themselves in a lot more hot water doing that than the

teams that succeed because they made it. Samson, how is it not panicky to run out Riley and trade Tyler Hero? Like you're running Riley out of the organization against his will as the punctuation on his career. Oh, I'm not, I wouldn't say it's against his will. And that's why I wouldn't say that it would be a firing down. What I said is it's an acknowledgement by the heat, which are defined as Mickey and Pat and Nick, that it is time to go a different direction

with a different voice. And I think that that is what they do. And by the way, Bam Adebayo, if you look at his salary, Jeremy, I believe he has three years left and it goes like 50, 51, 59 in the last three years of his deal. I hear that you're saying he's all NBA,

and I understand there are a lot of overpaid players, but do you have him as that type of player? I mean, the question is for you, three years 150 million on Hero, four years 210 million. I mean, to me, I lock up Tyler Hero long term when I feel like the value is going to be delivering, meaning where's the salary cap going? What are the deals that again signed for guys that are kind of his comps?

Can I get value on that if not? I don't see a need to commit super long term because I want to remain flexible But David was also suggesting that Bama to bios contract is not worth it now No, Bama is absolutely worth it. There's a market for BAM. The reason you don't trade BAM is not because no one wants to give up anything for them or no one. It's because whatever you get back has to be good enough to continue or propagate the organization.

The only way you do that is for something like Yanis. Like that's it. So yeah, that's what I say. So if Yanis comes available, there's no part of me that says, well, not BAM. No, BAM's gotta go if that's what gets it done because he is of that level But I don't that voice when you do that like who is the impersonator? That's the emotional person of like but I like my favorite player. I don't want to give him up Why is he gotta go can't we get you honest and not give it to me? It's a good question says it is

Where are you is the heat though if you replace? as it is. I'm just making sure it's not me. Where are you as the heat though, if you replace Yanis with Bam? You replace Bam with Yanis. You're incremental between Bam and Yanis. No, you're better. Infinitesimally better.

You're better. Well, infinitesimally, that's small. Yeah, that's small. You did that wrong. Don't worry about that. He's cooking, let him do it. Infinitesimally better. I'm gonna tell you why, David.

Because there's two things. Number one is the simple one that we all recognize. Yannis is a billion times better than Bam. A billion times better, right? And that's not a knock on Bam. That is respect to one of the great, it's not a knock. It's not a knock. A billion times is a knock.

Dan, would you call Shaq a wealthy individual? Would you call Shaq a, okay. Is Bill Gates not a billion times richer than Shaq? Yeah, but that's not a billion times. No. Wow. What? Like you could have said twice as good as Bam. You went a billion.

He's a billion times better. He's a billion times better. And it's not, it's not a knock on Bam. It is a knock on Bam. Jeremy called Giannis the second best power forward ever before the show today. Well, that's wrong. Yeah, he might be.

So, so let's not get sidetracked. Okay, so once we start with that, all right, automatically you're better just because you have a, first of all, you have a player that commands the respect of the opponents at all times in a way that right now, the heat don't, right? Number two, though, and I know where David's gonna go, is like, well, if he's so great,

why is Milwaukee where they are? That's a great question. But the answer there is because Milwaukee's front office and Milwaukee's coaching is not as good as Miami's. Miami can find the supporting cast people. This is what I always like to say. Like you see those guys on the floor with Giannis last night?

Yeah. So I'm gonna tell you right now, David, I used to always say this, the easy part is the hard part and the hard part is the easy part. The easy part is identifying the stars. He's great, Giannis is great. Okay, we can all see that.

But the hard part is, there's only like three or four of those guys. How do you get them? It's so rare. Then the hard part is the easy part, which is, oh. Wait, is the hard part the easy part? Easy is hard, hard is easy. Yeah, let him go, come on.

He's cooking. The flip side of that is, right, where you say, well we just gotta get the right supporting cast. Well that should be easy, right? There are millions of these guys everywhere. All these like, you know, runthe-mill basketball players who end up getting mid-level deals and all that There's so much more of them than there are of the illnesses, right? Yes, you're right. It's easy They're everywhere but it's not because you actually have to do the work to identify To develop to give them chances in the right moments, to give them in the right situations,

and then you get the right supporting cast. Miami is incredible at that. They did it around Jimmy Butler, and while he's not billions times better than Jimmy Butler, he's also a good deal better than Jimmy Butler. And Dan, they've done it throughout the history of this organization. Ike Austin, Vashon Leonard, right?

Billy is so done with all of us right now. Billy is so done with everyone here. history of this organization. Ike Austin, Vashon Leonard, right? He's a god. Billy is so done with all of us right now. Billy is so done with everyone here. No, no. Don't say no. Well, because Jordan Hudson, apparently, according to the Athletic, was to blame for Hard Knocks falling apart at North Carolina.

Billy had no interest in you guys talking about Pat Riley and all the players he's gonna get. No, I got it. Pat Riley's the greatest of all time. He's never gonna leave his job. We got it. And the Heaters just always going to be a seven seed. No, and the heat are always going to get Giannis.

You're already doing that after what happened Sunday. Well, they are going to get you. That's the hard part. The easy part is saying Giannis is great. The hard part is getting him. And the easy part is the hard part. The hard part is the easy part. Come on, I got it. I'm here. I do think there's an intriguing conversation to be had around

what it requires to get Giannis if he is available because. Oh, sorry, okay. David, good talking to you. Zaslow's confused by that. That was Chris Cody tasing Jeremy because he talks too much. Zaslow was legitimately confused. What is happening?

Zaslow thought an electrical current actually ran through our headsets and that there might have been a shocking of some sort. I thought it was a fart. What it? Fart bear. And then Dan said, I'm sorry, and that there might have been a shocking of some sort. I thought it was a fart. What it? Fart bear. And then Dan said, I'm sorry,

I thought someone farted too, honestly. I was confused. We had so much to cover, Dan. I wanted to talk about what's happening with Amazon and the tariffs. Can you give us a quick minute on that? I know, it's not, it's not, a quick easy minute on that. Say no.

Go ahead. You can say no. Give me your best 60 seconds on that. Say no. Go ahead. You said that 60 seconds. What's going on? If you want 90, you got you got three minutes left for that in your review. So you choose. Let me just try to get through this and there is a real problem

with what's happening in the tariffs, not just in the economy. What's happening is the companies are trying to figure out they're going to pass on the increased expenses to the customer. We are all going to suffer because of the tariffs. The question is, how do you quantify it? Amazon said, we have an idea. We're going to put the amount of money that these tariffs are increasing the cost of your product and we're going to put it right there on the page.

The White House got word of this and they lost their minds. There was a quick phone call and a quick meeting which said, hey, Jeff, here's an idea. You may want to cancel this plan because we're going to crush you because we've lost the three legs of the tripod. And as the executive branch, we're now in a position where we can make your life miserable. You want tax on the rich?

We're going to do it. Then Amazon, 20 minutes later, second statement, hey, that was a division of Amazon. No idea what anyone was talking about. We're not gonna identify what the tariffs are doing and the impact they're having on the prices of the products. It was a faster retreat than you saw in the 1700s. And what does it mean?

It means that we are now in a place where there is fear that is ruling individuals, corporations, and those who run the corporations, and it will cost us. Make no mistake, the companies that you do business with will not take on the cost of these tariffs by themselves. They will pass it to you. It is maddening though, David, to see these people fight where power resides and the government

has more power than the billionaire of the billionaires. And what ends up happening is we all pay for it. I mean, it's really infuriating. It's guaranteed to happen. And you're watching it happen right now. I have an Amazon package waiting for me and I'm just seeing how expensive the toilet paper is as Bezos and Musk and Trump just fight over the money. You Amazon toilet paper?

Yes, in bulk. What if I got bad news? What are you reviewing? What are you reviewing this week? I had I had metal art people, Dan, at the apartment where I'm doing show right now, and they were doing the lights. And they said, listen, is there anything you can do about the brown boxes at the apartment where I'm doing show right now and they were doing the lights and they said, listen, is there anything you can do about the brown boxes of tissues, toilet paper,

Clorox wipes and paper towels that were in the way of the lights flashing properly off the walls? And I said, hey, it's a New York apartment. There's nothing I can do about it. And they said, and these are great IT people. They said, why do you have so much stuff? Like, are you worried about the apocalypse? And I said, no, I've always been a bulk guy. I can't deal with the people. There's two types of people. Those who run out of toilet paper and those who don't.

And I am one who never runs out of toilet paper. No time for your review. And so that toilet paper is the end of this segment. That is you being wiped from the premise. Just out of curiosity, what does bulk mean? Like, what are we talking about? How many rolls? At least 200.

Oh my God. That's insane. Multiple, multiple big brown boxes of toilet paper. You are afraid of running out of toilet paper. I have that with soap, I have it with everything. No, but that's the, no, but that's apocalypse. Your body, you would die. That's apocalypse hoarding.

You would die before you need to go through 200 rolls of toilet paper. That's apocalypse. No, but that's apocalypse. Your body, you would die. That's apocalypse hoarding. You would die before you need to go through 200 rolls of toilet paper. That's apocalypse hoarding. I am a hoarder of products, having nothing to do with the pandemic. This was way, I never panicked during the pandemic because I always have supplies ready to roll. When do you redo?

Like how low on your 200 before you reorder? It's a rotate and when there's a hole in where I store stuff, I refill from the back. That's why there were shortages during the pandemic. I mean, he's the worst. It's him. It was all him. He's the worst. It was just him. He just, it was just him.

It's not just me.