The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Get A Divorce!

Episode Date: April 11, 2024

We continue the conversation with Stugotz about leaving the show and spend some time being introspective before giving Billy credit for predicting "baseball" would happen last night. Then, other members of the Shipping Container pop in to say hello! The crew discusses eating at the movie theater, old people trying to see menus, and Billy has a recommendation for the couples in the audience who might be heading downhill. Plus, Luka Doncic is a trick shot artist, Mike starts and leaves group chats, and we tease a potential show-wide 3-on-3 tournament. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See, purchase a 2024 Escape ST line all wheel drive with tech pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just 267 bi-weekly, cash value of $40,294. Plus eligible Ford owners get a thousand dollar bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or ford.ca. Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face and the habitual liar.

The industry Stu Gotts helped build should feel flattered that he would entertain the idea of coming back to be a power broker, lazy and fat and comfortable. Boomer Esiason just got done telling Stugots that now, unfortunately, they're going to have a professional environment. Someone's going to come in there, because Stugots, I would assume Stugots wouldn't be coming in all of a sudden in a tie, right?

He's not gonna be program director. He's not gonna become. I wasn't aware in a tie. He's not gonna become management, is. He's not going to become management. Is he? Is that what he was going to become? No, absolutely not. He's not going to show up with that though. He's not going to show up in a hoodie. I would show up in a hoodie. I would wear a hat.

I was asking for a microphone at my desk. I mean, there were certain things I was asking for because I know the hosts there, they would try to get me on the show. And I'd be busy going through traffic because back to back car spots just played. And and so I just said hey I'm gonna be busy get the microphone put it at my desk that way if the guys want to talk to me I could just pipe in from my desk. I kind of want to... I am actually sort of eager because I don't know if Lucy, Juju, Jeremy, or Jessica have any access to the human being Stugatz was before the character that that human being belched out. Rich off fame and cigarettes and the sound of his own voice

giving sports takes, didn't matter how ill informed they were, they sold, baby. Stugatz kind of helped invent the revolution of sports radio in Miami, where Miami had been doing sports radio the way New York did it. And Stu Gottz hired a whole bunch of young people and created a radio station that was doing it different entirely than the generation of people who were doing it all over the country where people were finding us at the advent of the internet from all over the country because they needed to listen to this thing in miami that uh...

that felt like a lineup from top to bottom not all these disjointed thing see this is what the fan has and it's one of the few things that still carry over in sports radio intimacy that matter the fan all the shows feel connected yes all of them the personalities know each other they bicker between each other you heard something at night did you hear what they said about the guys in the morning and then the whole things connected still got to did that in miami and toppled the giant not just the incumbent a giant the only thing in the city that it ever mattered stu gots took it down inside of five years. I was working there, I said to myself,

there has to be, because at this stage, back in like early 2000s, you saw multiple sports radio stations popping up in major markets. So we had one, I was working there, it was old, it was being, all the shows sounded the same, there was no connection. And I remember thinking to myself,

there has to be a younger, hipper, cooler way of doing this in Miami. And so Dan is right, thank you, Dan, because I got Dan and we got Boog and we got Sedano and Sid Rosenberg. We also had Joe Rose. I needed the big dog though. The big dog, six in the morning,

six to 10 a.m. every morning, I needed the billing. I needed the big dog. The B in big dog though. The big dog six in the morning, six to 10 a.m. every morning, I needed the billing. I needed the big dog. The B in big dog stands for billing. That's what it stands for. And even before that, John Shamby, cross talking with you, midday to afternoon, and John Shamby right now is doing very well covering the cover. Oh no, but wait a minute. It's the voice of the gods. Is that the same person as Boog Shamby?

That's Boog Shamby, yes. Yeah. Not very well. No, this is one of the great, great blessings the same person as Boogshambee? That's Boogshambee, yes. Not very well, no. This is one of the great, great blessings, Stu Gotz. I don't know how people measure success in this business entirely, but one of the great blessings that I have seen in my career are people who I'm happiest for because they've arrived at something,

and I felt these feelings stir on me over the last two weeks with Stu Gotz is that Boogshambee has exactly the dream job that he's wanted to have all of his entire life as the voice for the chicago cops and he is at the perfect job for himself the one that he sacrificed the entire view of his life in pursuit of through the minor leagues and everything else and so basically at the end you get to craft your own ending with the greatest of jobs that's what's to gots is looking around at fifty he hasn't done a lot of And so basically at the end, you get to craft your own ending with the greatest of jobs.

That's what Stu gots is looking around at at 50. He hasn't done a lot of introspection in his life, but now the kids are out of the house. Like the kids are out of the house and like, what's my life going to look like? Oh, hey, wow. That was weird during the pandemic. Let's bury my mother and just skip right past it. Let's just skip right past it because we got to hurry up. And now we got to take care of dad. And what does he want to do with the kids? He's fought still gots comes in here broken every week his back hurts every week because he's flying all over the place chasing his daughter and championship lacrosse National champion daughter doing that from New York. I could see how tempting that would be doing it

Having all of that be closer to where his life was, I hope New York radio is flattered that someone who helped shape and shake this industry was willing to consider it at 50, but he didn't want to work that hard. No. Well, that hard for that amount of money, really. That's the thing. I do wonder, man, how they could have gotten him there.

And then I like to think about what would happen next because he would absolutely knock people out of their jobs. It would be messy, it would be bloody. He'd be like breathing over your shoulders. It'd be like executive producing this show with Mike snorting on your back. I've matured a lot, Dan, and so there was a night throughout this process where I'm up late on my computer

and I'm trying to dig up dirt on all the FAN hosts. And I realized it was right then and there that I should call Chris Olivero the next morning and tell him, listen, I'm gonna pass. That's weird. Top five hosts you would have fired for your not to hire yourself. I mean, none of them have ever been arrested, and nothing. Not gonna pass. That's weird. What if I post you on a fire for your not to hire yourself? I mean, none of them have ever been arrested,

and nothing. You're not gonna P.I. them? I couldn't find any dirt, yeah. But I'm sitting there two in the morning, what am I doing here? I'm trying to dig up dirt on Giannatti and Sal Licata. Like, what does the matter with me? I mean.

So, Licata's number one. No, no, no. Sal's doing great in the mid days. Dig up dirt, I mean what happened? Didn't they have a guy, the FAN is Carton, isn't it? Like, that's a, and then he- Well time is then Carton. Right, okay, so Carton just got a promotion.

That's what he got for the dirt you dig up. Right, I would have been the third sketchiest person to ever work at that radio station. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. What were the times that made you most lightheaded? Because I really do believe that this was sort of, I'm not gonna say midlife crisis, because he's 50, but when you're checking in on your mortality and people around you that you care about are dying,

and you're sending your kids off to school, and you have to decide what you wanna do with the rest of your life. Even these dream jobs, they'll wear you out. Like I'm not sure Stugat still has to work. I do. Yeah, he's got a house to pay for. Well no, but when you guys talk about Stugat's winning the lottery and not showing up the next day, I believe he needs an element of this. I don't believe he would just be on an island somewhere. I believe it's a part of his identity that he's proud of.

Like, why would he just discard that thing and stop working? I don't think he would. Time to check my social media, y'all. Time to check it again. Let's see, who writes this in? They didn't put the name on this one, but someone wants to remind everybody

that Billy called the Marlins epic win against the New York Yankees yesterday. Wow, salute to the Duke. He did get the bet correct. He said Marlins plus one and a half, and when I asked him to be better on behalf of DraftKings by giving good baseball information, his analysis was the Marlins will win because baseball.

And he was totally right. By the way, Jake Berger three run homer on his birthday. He has 15 RBIs, that's 41% of the Marlins' RBIs this season. And Aaron Judge flies out the center with the bases loaded. The end of the game. It's early. Ryan Weathers, huh? They got something there. Just four and a half back of the wild card. Hey, we're gaining on him. Getting healthy at the right time. Two and 11. Ryan Weathers, I had a very hard time watching him last year. He's another one of these people who throws 99 miles an hour,

and I don't understand how everyone keeps hitting it over the fence, because he's always behind in the count. Like, I don't. Not last night, though. No, no, I know. They expect a great deal from him. But what's been interesting about that sport so far this season is you're counting on Ryan Weathers your 2-and-11 Because all of your pitchers have broken down because it's unnatural to throw a baseball 100 miles an hour for an entire season

Yeah, that's right. That's what's happened to the sport dancing for The Marlins race saw it a while ago Baseball is dead in this town, and another season, Billy's season, has been ruined right off the bat so quickly that the manager a week in is negotiating, hey, how quick can you get me the hell out of here? Like a week in, it's like, can I, like this, yes, I understand that I'm in the middle of a burning dumpster.

Can you get me out of here? I'm the manager of the year. Did you see what I did with that shit last year? And so now, he wants out. They had the most successful, most powerful woman executive in the history of baseball, made the playoffs with her. She's like, I don't wanna work here. These are visionaries, these people.

They come here, they do their job well, and they go, oh my God, the whole thing's rancid. Get me out of here. Like the whole, like organizationally, what? Jeremy, you're shaking your head. You're gonna Homer on the Marlins. No, I mean, there's information and then there's Homer, right?

So like David positioned it yesterday as if Skip decided I don't like Peter Bendix, I want out. It's not what happened. He had a great relationship with Kim and when she ultimately did not pick up her end of her mutual option, he said, well, hold on, I'd like the ability to be able to be a free agent at the end of this year. Everything he said publicly and privately for that matter has been

positive about Peter Bendix. The thing with Kim is that Kim was not doing a great job running the minor league part of the organization and so the Marlins were trying to figure out how to fix the front office around her to be able to run that part better while she was making really good trades at the major league level. She was great at the job in terms of making trades at the major league level,

but there were weaknesses within her job. That doesn't mean they should have let her go. She should have been built around as a part of the organization. Look, their minor leagues were torn asunder by all that Jeter did poorly while he was here. Okay, and she suffered in one year and got to the playoffs with what she had

in a position that David Samson called eye wash saying that the other people were running the organization and these are the Marlins promoting a woman because this is the time to promote a woman and he was wrong about that what ends up happening is that she has the success of that does her job well

doesn't want to be here anymore hard stop skip schumacher comes here wants to be here does his job well doesn't want to be here anymore because organizationally there are some fractures here that create wild instability that people don't trust. Why would you trust organizationally anything from the history of this franchise? Before Skip Schumacher, the Marlins had one of the longest tenured managers in baseball and Don Mattingly

and Kim did want to be here. She just didn't want to take a demotion in her power. And her view of bringing in Peter Bendix as president of baseball operations to run the minor leagues was that she wouldn't still have the full power at the major level, which reports have suggested wasn't necessarily the case. Now a new savior comes to town, a raised person, and the season is done before it gets started.

Beat the Yanks. No Sandy, no Urie, no Brax, it's a nightmare. But yes, Billy got it right. Yesterday, the one in 10 Marlins were playing the 10-1 Yankees in New York. Not today, Dan. And Billy giving you gambling advice on behalf of DraftKings that allows us

to have the best deal in sports media gave you the explanation that he would bet Marlins over Yankees plus run and a half you had it the whole game why Billy because baseball are you tired of snooty wines and their old-world wine culture confused by words like malolactic fermentation yeah we are too so with 19 crimes you can do the fancy schmancy tilt sip smell oh I think it tastes like old red cherry, a little bit of wood and mahogany, a little leather, you can do all that stuff

or don't. 19 Crimes is the rebel of wine culture telling stories of rogues and rule breakers who overcame adversities, from convicts banished to Australia to the legendary icon Snoop Dogg himself. 19 Crimes wine is defiant by nature, bold in character, and always uncompromising. 19 crimes, the official wine of the UFC, pick up in stores nationwide or online at 19crimes.com. Enjoy responsibly copyright 2024, Sonoma, California. Don LeBattard. Let's go to 80.

His name is Bo. Wow. I think Billy typed an eight instead of a B, fine. It's the clearest day of my chinoise. Stugats. Number eight. It's Chris Corner on the line. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats.

I have really enjoyed for a long time, whether it's Kenny Powers, Tropic Thunder, an assortment of other things, the work of Danny McBride. And Danny McBride is now saying that when it comes to the movie theater experience, the old-fashioned movie theater experience, that he simply does not want it upgraded to include dinner or beers. movie theater experience that he simply does not want it upgraded to include dinner or beers. Totally with them. I am.

You go to a movie, you have dinner, and then you go to the movie. You don't have dinner while watching the movie. You have dessert while watching the movie. You have a snack. You have some peanut M&Ms. You have some Skittles. You have some popcorn dripped with butter. Okay? Those are the things you have in a movie. Not a bottle of wine and a steak. When's the joint? Before the movie. No prime rib for

Stugats with the movie, no big meal. Enough? It was a part of a very Stugatsian take in that he didn't appreciate that for a movie theater experience, but then he also hawked green screens, which is a movie theater that is open for people to smoke marijuana at. I don't wanna have to cut into a steak and see if it's medium, like a prime rib,

like it's too dark in there. I agree, it's too dark to eat. The beauty is though, you can just go to a theater without food, and then it's fine and it's not bothering you. Are you eating again? I am eating a sandwich right now. Jesus. And this is my movie.

The lights are very bright. So you're saying others shouldn't eat during a movie, but you're eating in the middle of your work day at a microphone. If you want to eat. You all right? You OK? Oh my god, five dollars. If you wanna eat, they have that for you at those theaters. If you wanna eat, go to a different theater.

It's great, but don't get rid of my bar. I wouldn't necessarily be digging one of those movie theaters where people are just openly smoking. I would just not go to them. There's plenty of, those options where they serve bottles of wine, although it is becoming more and more commonplace at some of the bigger chains.

You like them. I do, I do, because when I usually watch dinner, when I watch a movie at home, I'm having a meal or a bottle of wine, I'm making an event out of it, I like it, but I can understand someone not feeling the clanging of silverware. Dan, as someone who hasn't made it through

Curb Your Enthusiasm season finale twice, you've fallen asleep, you can relate to, a recliner, alcohol, and a little marijuana before, this is a dangerous combination. I am falling asleep in every movie theater. Like, I can't do the recliner. I'll fall asleep. If I'm at a movie theater, I stay sitting up

because if I recline, my wife, she always makes fun of me. She's like, why do you wanna go to the movies? You're just gonna fall asleep. Mike said something though that I think is key to everything it is that we're talking about here because I'd be fine with beer and I'd be fine with dinner. The place that I am drawing the line, cutlery, I'm drawing the line at a fork and knife and cutting up a meal, if you tell me a sandwich or fries.

Give me some finger food. Or chicken fingers. They usually time it out pretty well and the trailers are long enough that I don't really experience that during the movie so much, but I mean, people eat at different paces. It gives off TV dinner vibes.

I couldn't agree more where it has to be at the very most fancy. It's a chicken sandwich or a burger. If you're gonna have a full meal, that's the type of meal you're having. Not a steak, like where you're cutting into it throughout the meal. And a bottle of wine, whatever, do you want?

I do that. I mean, if I'm having a bottle of wine, I do the steak too. Do we all agree? I'm not going to do the popcorn shrimp with this bold cab. Do you have a waiter that keeps coming out? Like how does this work? No, no, no. They come out during like the commercials beforehand. Once the trailers are out, like that's about the last of it. Some people may drop off very low key, like the check as the movie gets going. But they're pretty good about this stuff,

because naturally, everybody would find that annoying, but their whole business is built on this. We all agree on the lighting thing though, right? Like you can't eat blind, without looking down at your food in a dark room, right? Well this is why I say it's gotta be- I mean lights are a little hotter. It's gotta be pizza, it's gotta be hamburger.

There are certain things you can eat without light on that you know what they're gonna taste like. You know what pizza's gonna taste like. It doesn't have to be, guys. I don't need to see the pizza. I know they have the little lights on the floor and stuff. Trust me, they've figured this out. These businesses have been around for a bit.

You don't wanna be the guy with your phone light on eating a steak. Reading the menu. I, if I don't wanna eat dinner, with your phone light on eating a steak. Reading the menu. If I don't want to eat dinner, I really don't want to be sitting next to somebody who is eating the prime rib. Right on. So don't go to that table.

You have tables? How are you eating all of this? Yeah, you have a little tray table. Oh, this is not movies. It's like an airplane meal. But those fears, the ones. I'm sure Regal Ray has City's got some options for you to just chill out.

The ones with food tend to have the better chairs. I will say, they tend to have wider seats. They do have very good chairs. The sleepy chairs. Exactly. The Old People restaurant in my hometown now has a light in their menus that when you open the menu, it lights up from behind so you can read it

in the dimly lit restaurant so that people don't have to take out their iPhone to flash the flashlight on it, it's great. If you hate the person you're going to eat dinner with that much that you need a movie playing so you don't have to talk to them, break up with them. Like enough. It's a fair point.

You don't need this whole, get a divorce, break up with them, whatever. You don't need to go and do this whole to do that you have a movie playing, so you, I can't hear you, oh we can't talk, just break up with them. Dinner is the pregame to a movie. have a movie playing. Say, I can't hear you, oh we can't talk. Just break up with them. Dinner is the pregame to a movie. Exactly right.

Right. That used to be a proper date night. Yes. Dinner and then a movie. My first date with my wife was dinner and a movie. It used to be a proper country. And you wait for, you see how dinner goes and then if dinner goes well they're like,

hey, we got a movie. Do you think anyone listening to this just heard what Billy said and is like, I am gonna get a divorce. That's a good point by Billy. I kinda felt like that's what he was getting at but I was like, all right I'm just saying Look look cool opinion bro, ask any divorced couple out there I'm sure a lot of them wish someone would have told them you should get a divorce sooner

Correct or incorrect. No guy if I have to be the guy saying get a divorce. This isn't working out You should just tap a guy on the shoulder and be like, the Big D. Hey. Well. I'm gonna bring it up to sell you. I don't know if I do it that way. Don't do it that way.

Now that seems a little strange. Don't do it that way. And then wink. Don't do it that way. Do not. I'll tap on the fanny after I say it. No, do not. No.

I got you, a little wink. No, no, not a tap on the fanny, not a little wink. Big D. Not to a stranger, not Big D. you a little way. No, no not a tap on the fanny Not a little way not to a stranger not big D No, no, don't do any of those things bad advice all around also I don't believe that anyone in the history of listening has Heard a show like this one With a host like you saying what you said and then saying you know what I need to get divorced the relationship I'm in is the wrong one I

didn't see it until now what a terrible blind spot by me how does you Billy how does Billy see so clearly into my soul I live with myself and my partner every day I've never seen it before but now that Billy articulates it that way, let me call the divorce lawyer immediately. Let me call 1-800-DIVORCE and see if I can get out of this. The big D. Listen, I'll tell you this right now. It probably won't happen, but of the people

listening to right now, there are people that should be divorced. I'm telling you that right now. About half. There are definitely people listening to this right now that should get a divorce, and of that percentage, there's a percentage that will get divorced. And of that percentage, there's zero percent

that are gonna do it as a result of this warning, but I would say 100% of the people that are going to get divorced should listen to this warning and just do it. It's not gonna get better, okay? You're gonna get divorced. Do it now. Your interactions at Moss are gonna be interesting.

Like hey, you changed my life, thank you so much. There was that one time, I was thinking about having a divorce and thanks because, thanks to you. I went through with it. I went through with it. It's hard, look, it's hard to deliver the news. I feel like the doctor that has like the, you know, death diagnosis that's coming, you don't wanna be the one

to deliver the bad news, but if you're gonna get divorced, just do it. This all reminds me of that very bizarre Isla Fisher, Sacha Baron Cohen divorce announcement that was on Instagram last week. I don't know if you guys saw this. I did. It was a picture of them after they had just played tennis,

or racquetball, or pickleball, I don't know, I think tennis, and it was like, we're putting down the tennis game of our marriage, and it's been a great match. Well, it was better said than that. Let's go ahead and put that up on the street. After a long tennis match lasting over 20 years, I mean, I think I was spot on. Dan was just super into the costumes.

You can see that. Dan saw them in costumes. You can't read the words. Right past the words, salivating in next year's bucket of debt. Dan was devastated to see a couple that leaned in so hard in the dressing room not making it. It's not that small.

I can read it. After a long tennis match lasting over 20 years, we're finally putting our rackets down in 2023. We jointly filed to end our marriage. We have always prioritized our privacy and have been quietly working through this change. We forever share in our devotion. I'm sorry, because it is small enough

that I am having trouble. Someone get a cell phone light. We sincerely appreciate you respecting our family's wish for privacy. And they're wearing tennis outfits. It's not the way that you normally see people announce their celebrity divorces. It's a happy divorce.

It's the nicest divorce I've ever witnessed. I don't like it. I saw Jack White during one of his divorces put out, they actually had a party to send off their marriage. They invited friends and people that actually went to their initial wedding to come over and celebrate their marriage. Tom Brady had the

successful marriage. They say that your marriage fails, but you actually accomplished a lot. What are you celebrating? The fact that they had 20 good years together or that they're splitting up? It's a good run. I think it's a successful run. People change and they can change together and they can have the maturity to realize they accomplished good things and don't want to make it a nasty divorce divorce at least public-facing to make it look amicable that that's good for their kids. Stu Gott, I've noticed here that Billy is applying for the Nike divorce lawyer position because he's just saying just do it. He's saying that the slogan for divorce should be just do it, get out there,

and get out of your relationship. I will say that I've had this conversation very reasonably recently with some listeners who are- Phew! We were worried, dude. A little too early for that, yeah. I've had that. Start worrying about the prenup situation,

are we gonna have jobs? I'm in a very healthy relationship with my wife, but I think we've had the conversation, if anything were to happen, we want to take an approach that's a little closer to that, maybe not dress up in costume, although Dan would love that. But I think in seeing other people talk about their marriages that lasted several decades and then end up splitting up, you're a little heartbroken for it, Jason Isbell, he had great albums about love and he announced a separation from his wife and I found that very disappointing. Who he worked with, who he was performing all the time. Marriage is hard. One of the things though that I was beginning to say before it is that I was interrupted because

I'm not thinking about having a divorce but I've been talking to listeners who have gotten divorced from this show Who I don't like the changes. I don't like what's happened I'm getting out of here after eight years go bleep yourself and I'm like eight years is a hell of a run It's a hell of a run that we had your attention. Thank you for giving us your attention for For as long as you have had it I'd prefer misogynist Bane not have a mouthful of sandwich can the can misogynist Bane My name is Jessica. Eight years is a good run how about you stick it out until we're done huh?

Seriously. Don LeBretard! Photography is not as hard as it's made out to be and now with computers I mean you can make anything look like anything. It's almost cheating it's not as hard as it's made out to be. And now with computers, I mean, you can make anything look like anything, Dan. It's almost cheating. It's not fair. If you push a button and it takes a thousand pictures,

you're gonna find a good one in the batch. There were a lot of photographers there taking thousands of pictures. One got that photograph. Okay, good retort. Stugatz. Haven't you ever passed by photographers? Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- I know that a lot of people are complaining about the NBA, they're complaining about the way things have changed so that you get your 150 point game because you've got a lot of

people shooting from three, but I've really enjoyed the impossible skill that I am watching in that league and Luka Donchich Stugac, who is as unstoppable an offensive force as I've ever seen really like I mean there may be somebody that you find better but he's as several he's okay but he's I'm just saying that wherever it is that you've watched basketball the things that this person does they they're all crazy. And so he had, this seems impossible. Before I show it to you, would you say that you think it's generally plausible

that somebody's gonna put together a finger roll from the three-point line? A finger roll from the three-point line. Wimby. Because I want you to watch somebody who's not an elastic man, somebody who's not, you know, from another... That was Stacey Augman.

Plastic man. Plastic man, thank you. Here is Luka Doncic basically getting stuck on the perimeter and just finger rolling it from the three.5. Oh, come on. Yes, just throwing it into the basket, laughing at himself. That is not a good shot. That is not, it just ended up being a two pointer because his-

It should have been four. I love that now he's creating offense to limit his movement. He's like, all right, I'm limited, so I'm just gonna hit insane shots by burning up the least amount of energy to do so. I was watching this live and my initial reaction was like, that shouldn't be allowed. I don't know why I immediately went to like, no, you can't do that.

You wanted to make it against the rules? It's not fair. She's right. It's not fair. I'm like, this isn't fair. I don't even care about either of these teams. But that's exactly what every frat guy would do in their dorm with a Nerf hoop. Does he attempt these a lot and just miss them sometimes?

Or is he one for one on the year with that? Because if he misses that, all of a sudden, we're like, what an idiot. What is he doing that for? You have to retire the shot if you're one for one. When most people go into their off-season labs, they go, I know a gym. He just goes to the Sigepp Frat House and puts up a Nerf hoop.

And drinks beers. Let's go to some of his trick shots because he and Steph end up doing this stuff at the four games. And let's just see an assortment of Luca trick shots here because he. Oh my. Yeah, that one is off the Jumbotron

that is above center court that he made look pretty easy. It seemed like it was off the corner of the Jumbotron. He went jumbo, backboard, and in. And then at the All-Star game, he did the from almost half court where you throw it 50 feet into the air and he made two in a row. Crazy.

And Steph does that stuff from the tunnel and from other places and it is super interesting to watch the range and this is obviously this is part of what happened with Caitlin Clark where we were sort of confused when we saw her shooting from the spot that usually had been reserved for Damian Lillard and Steph Curry. Speaking of Caitlin Clark, Iowa, the football team, should recruit him to punt with his arm. Ooh. You're not allowed to punt with your,

yeah, it doesn't matter. Should be against the rules. That shouldn't be against the rules, but Lucas finger rolled from the three point line. On fourth down, he just throws an arm punt like Josh Allen, that's totally legal. Can I ask you guys a basketball question that no one's gonna care about but this room?

So there's this talk about The Office, Dan, about a three-on-three basketball tournament, and they ranked us based on nothing but appearance, and you'll be shocked to find out they ranked Jess last, and I said, that is sexist, and in part because they ranked me second to last. Of course they did. She can't play basketball, she's a girl.

She's literally never played basketball and she made it clear to the person doing the list, AKA me. Wow. Man's playing it. Wow. I contend that having never played basketball in my entire life other than in eighth grade on the B team,

by the way, no one taught me the rules. I was like, oh, this is fun, all my friends are playing. And I went out there during a game and just fouled the shit out of some girl. And my coaches immediately took me out and were like, you cannot do that. And I was like, I'm used to playing soccer. You could just body someone off the ball.

Apparently not in basketball. I don't have the hand-eye coordination that most basketball players require, but I am by far the most in shape person here. And if we're playing full court, I will run laps around these people. We're doing half court. No. Thank God.

No bad habits, though, if you've never played before. That's a good point. I want to hear more about the rankings, though. Well, she has bad habits if she's never played before, except that one time that she got kicked out of the game because she was bodying everybody and fouling everybody. I just smacked the crap out of some girl, and they were like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who was the first pick?

Tony. Tony ranked himself first. Did Tony do the rankings? Tony and Jeremy it seems. No, it wasn't me. It was Taylor started it and then I helped him from there. He ranked me a little too high, but you know what, I'll take it.

I got a kind of nice jumper. But I'm not Tony. I want to actually play. I think this would be really fun. Yeah, we want to do a three on three tournament. We had enough people who volunteered to be a part of it to have four teams. So we could do a double elimination tournament,

make some content. Where was Dan ranked? We figured Dan and you would not want to play. Oh, Dan's a hooper. Guys, we'd love to have the two of you and Ron McGill. I mean, come on. It should be our team. It has been a very long time

since I played basketball. I haven't played basketball in like 10 years. None of us have. Except for Tony. Let's do this. Like you won in on this. Me, Dan and McGill. Stugats I think if we start asking some questions he will think he's the best of the basketball. Well he has a state record for threes. Yeah. Six threes and a half in high school, Dan. I did it against Long Beach. Billy Owens Jr. was on that team. Six threes and one half. I'll never forget it. It's still a Long Island record.

Your lies are so great because of the details you put into them. Like who here would know who Billy Owens Jr. is? Why is that necessary for this lie? So Billy Owens Sr. went to Syracuse. Jim Beheim recruited him on an outdoor court. 70 mile per hour wins. And Billy Owens hit like 16 threes So his son was on the Long Beach No way true

Here's the other part of the story that's not true he's's the age of Billy Owens' senior, Stu Gatz is. So he's not playing against Billy Owens' junior. That's not a thing that's happening. That's not the child. It's my game. But I'm saying, you are, check up, Jeremy, look up the age for me please. Syracuse standout Billy Owens.

54 years old. Wait, wait, wait, wait. A mean is ahead of me? Whoa. A mean? They updated these? Whoa. A mean? Where's Lucy? Here are the rankings. Lucy is not on here.

It is probably also last because of sexist. Look, Juju shouldn't be number two. I see what's happening there. I've seen Juju dribble. What's happening? Whoa, what is that supposed to mean? I don't think Juju prides himself on his basketball game.

I'm not sure. No, I think you're wrong. I've heard Juju say he's better than Tony. Juju played college. Did he? Yeah not sure. No, I think you're wrong. Juju, I've heard Juju say he's better than Tony. Juju played college. Did he? Yeah. Okay. Tony does not belong at the top of this list.

Juju actually played in college. Tony played in the NBA, he thinks. I'm actually pretty offended. I'm offended. And Mike Fuentes is higher than me. No, I'm offended that I'm on the list because I'm totally not doing this. Aw, come on, Mike.

I didn't agree to it either. I was like, I haven't played in 10 years. This is a bad idea. We literally turned and asked you, and you said yes. Mike is the first person to leave the group chat, by the way, when we're all having a good time texting each other, like, oh, it was a fun show today, blah, blah, blah. Mike will just be like, Mike Ryan left the conversation.

Really? Yeah. But you start so many group chats. Yeah, but it's like, then you leave group chats? He has a literal poop chat. Yeah, I didn't start the poop chat. But no, it was just super unorganized. There wasn't a name for it.

There wasn't a chat at it. There was one with Amin on Friday that just destroyed me. It was just terrible. That was the one he's talking about. I knew how to eject myself. I would have done it. There's no decorum. It should be labeled Lebatard Show,

except for the green phones. But no, it was just chaos. Mike has this rule where every chat needs to have one topic. I just gotta have a theme. So I know what I'm getting into. It's like the intention of our Slack channels, but they quickly lose that theme. Then it's very difficult to figure out what's going on.

I can't have one chat where people are talking about golf and we're talking about hoops. We need to separate it. So you leave those. If the poop chat starts talking about hockey, you're like, I gotta get out of here. Yeah, gotta get out of here. Are they allowed to evolve?

So if you have one that starts to say a baseball chat and then that baseball season ends and it evolves into the same people talking about basketball or something else, is it possible? He has a basketball chat though. Yeah, there's a Formula One chat that I'm kind of in and out on

because they don't wanna talk about NASCAR, I'm very European, it's led by Whitty. But it's also okay to talk about soup. What? Huh. So it's soup and Formula One, but no NASCAR? Yeah, well, I'm the one pushing. I would like to be part of this chat. You would? Formula One?

Soup and Formula One, yes. Yeah, cool. There's always a cutesy name to it also. But actually, you don't have to add me to that. I don't want to be. Billy, I'm offended on your behalf. Why is that? How low you were ranked on this.

Jessica has reason to be offended too, but you're six foot two. You're taller than a great many of the people on this list. And Cougs? I'm also actually one of the only athletes here. Cougs would play in slacks. Cougs would play in khakis. That Cougs is ahead of you? Sensitive. That Cougs is play in slacks. Cougs would play in khakis. That Cougs is ahead of you.

That Cougs is ahead of you. He was upset where he was on the list. Billy, I think. He said that he would be a pest to Tony. That he would really drive Tony crazy. Defensive stoppers? Yeah. Really?

Which I kind of believed it. Being a pest to Tony gets you higher up the rankings. Billy is number one by far. That is true. Yeah, that's true. No Carl in that draft. I bet he could throw down and why the soup what are you doing with Carl why do you bet that because I've seen him French onion soup right there with fried French onions on top that was a real deal folks well you

seen Carl do what I've seen him hold the basketball hold the basketball you've Oh. Hold a basketball? You've seen Carl be black. Whoa, don't project onto me. I've seen him play basketball. Don't shove words into his mouth. He's just black. We did a basketball bit. I've seen him on a basketball court. You said holding a ball.

What do you want? I saw him take four shots. I saw him take four shots and dribble for six minutes. Like I've seen him hold a basketball. Where do you want? I saw him take four shots. I saw him take four shots and dribble for six minutes. Like, I've seen him hold a basketball. Where did you see this? When we went out and did the shoot. Like, I had to go make like 50 points before coming to work one day or something stupid.

Oh wait, I'm seeing him now holding a basketball. Chris is right. Yeah, that's a top five pick right there. In this workplace? That is. I mean, I was four. Billy, well... That's what I'm saying. This is a ridiculous list Billy. You are Spin a ball on this one finger

Good only good players can do that. I can do it I can do it. No you can't you can't that's why we want to be Spinning the ball on their finger. I think I'd be pretty good really watch the teams watch Carl do it He doesn't want a ball in Carl do it first and let's see if Dan could do it better than you know We could do it better than that Good that's gonna be hard to beat. Oh, let go. The spinning.

Oh, back it off now. Now, the spinning of the ball is gonna make it. That's spectacular. Is gonna make it far for me. Hold ya, I've seen him hold a basketball. But Billy, you are six foot two, six foot one? I was a division one athlete. Now, I think Billy would be good at basketball.

No, I wouldn't. I'm not that insulted. Basketball's not my thing. But how tall are you? Basketball's none of our things. Except for like Tony and Juju. But you were behind some people there on that list who are half your physical size. Half.

Lewis was drafted ahead of you. And if you posted up Lewis, he would get caught in your ass crack, but he's friends with Tony So my proxy yeah, he's probably been like barking behind Tony Means really the insulting one Yeah, good one Yeah good. Carl just needed one pressures on Still got it