The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Hockey Player or Prescription

Episode Date: February 26, 2026

"He doesn't even have shoes, he has shoe." Mike Ryan ordered a pair of shoes that made him feel old, Dave has a brand-new game, Amin knows all the flags, and Connor McDavid gets a nice question thrown his way. Plus, is it a possibility that Connor Hellebuyck could get booed by his home fans in Winnipeg? Which teams have the worst names? Are there any cool team names left? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by Draft Kings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Lebitard show is presented by Draft Kings. So. Draft Kings! The crown is yours. You are suckers, Zaz. Suck a move. You know that's not on me.

Yeah, of course it's a sucker. You know that he says things. But I have a different mindset when I'm sitting in this chair. Why don't you look at them? Two left feet. Take that hat off. Maybe that'll help. Yeah, that's right.

Colin Calhard would admonish you for wearing your hat backwards, Zazlo. Where are you going in this world with that look? I don't know. I feel like I'm moving up. I think I'm doing all right with backwards. It has been working out for him. Yeah. I think it's going okay. I did. So speaking of left feet, I saw

Mike Ryan complaining about shoes that he bought that have made you feel old. Super. And this is interesting to me because I want you to tell me about it, but I think I'm going to be able to relate. Are they hokas? No, no, no, no. Not actual like orthos. So,

occasionally, I'll go on an app where you can get some shoes. I don't do like the sneakers app draws anymore because you never get anywhere. It's basically everything's secondary market. It's a lot like getting concert tickets. You're not getting these things once they go on sale. You've got to do secondary market. So there was this pair of LeBron's that I saw on the app that I'm like, oh, they're doing the Forever King. It's like a career retrospective series. And there was this shoe of LeBron's and I'm like, wow, it's gold. It kind of looks like this. the Js that you can wear to formal events. So I just see the one shoe.

I'm like, let me get this. And then there's this huge box that gets delivered in my house. Massive. I'm like, what the hell is this? And it was from the app store. It's goat, whatever. So I don't know what I'm doing. Like anybody that wants to be a shoe.

You got shoe secondary. Come on over. I'll shop on your place. So I opened this box from Goat. And it's massive. I'm like, okay, these are the LeBron shoes. It's like a casket size box. I'm opening it up.

I'm like, I didn't know that I would not have bought this particular shoe. It's a casket size box. It's huge. I would not have done this. It took me forever to open. I would not have done this had I known that this was like the presentation of this box. Whatever, it takes me like 10 minutes to finally get to the part where I see the shoes. And I open the shoes up.

I'm like, huh, did they screw this up? Because one shoe is gold and black and white and perfect. And the shoe that I looked there looked at on the app and decided to buy. and the other shoe is purple and black. They're two different color shoes. You have Laker shoes. I'm 40 years old. I cannot pull off this look.

At least I don't think. One of the shoes is a LeBron shoe that says chosen one. The other shoe is a brawny James shoe. The one who chose. I didn't like whatever they, I'm like, I can't read this. But yeah, it's a Bronny James shoe that's entirely the different color. No. And I have one standalone shoe, and I'm hoping that they kind of switch it up.

Maybe there's a set out there where the left shoe is just the black and gold one that I wanted. But the entire thing, from the box to the two different color shoes, to me being confused about it, it made me feel really old and someone that could not pull off wearing two different color shoes. Wow. Man, let me tell you something. That is the old, like, people in Congress know. about this. You want to get something, you hide a pork barrel. A rider on that shit and say, oh, but it. Oh, so you're

against children being saved? Yeah. And meanwhile, you've got your rider in there that's just, hey, and let me get $100 million for this or whatever. That's what just happened to you. They slipped the Bronny James shoe in there because like, hey, look, Ronnie sold a million pair, right? Because everyone bought the LeBron shoe. Man, I'm sorry for you because you got caught. I got caught big time. Well, what are you going to do? I have to eat it. No, I mean, are you to wear it?

Hell no. How can I wear it? Dude, I don't need that in my life. You can't return on goat either, so that's the other she's got to eat on. No, I'm not going to be that guy either. I just got to eat it or hope that there's someone out there. Or, or. Does anyone want these?

That has a left. Not even, does anyone want these? Or you do unto them what was done unto you. Because you can throw them back on goat as a seller. Mint condition, never been warned, and just keep pictures. of the LeBron shoe and not the Bronny shoe. I didn't even know Brani had shoes. Exactly. Well, he doesn't even have shoes.

He has shoe. He has shoe. Can you order which one you want to be the left and which one you want to be the right? I'm hoping, but I'm too, obviously, I'm ancient now,

so I don't even know how to figure this out. But if anybody has the left LeBron shoe come at me. That's the one right there. That you have it on your computer. So I'm watching on StockX, and they actually have the purple one in front of the gold ones.

You can't even see the gold one. So if you're in the market for a purple shoe, you're like, oh, wait a second. I only saw the gold shoe. The gold shoe looks great. Mike sounds so old. Excuse me. Does anyone have the missing pair of what I'm searching for? I'm conceding that.

I know I sound washed. It washed over me right then and there. Like, you're too old for the kick game. Let me get my reading glasses. What if we can make lemonade out of the lemon here, what you would like to do is find a trading partner. right you would like for somebody to set you'll send off the purple one in exchange for the gold one yeah but i mean i doubt that they did that right shoes yeah i doubt that's why i'm asking can you pick left or right hold on let's just assume you could let's just assume you could who's the guy that says

hell yeah send me the brawny shoe i want two brawny shoes you can have them old lebrons who's that guy i saw the brawny shoe i'm like this is basically big baller brand what is this it just tanked the value of this. Like, not only would I have not at all been interested, I would have made fun of it on the internet. I had no idea he had a shoe. So that's what it means when they say that brawny has sold X amount of units, right? Yes.

Yes. It's coupled with a LeBron shoe, but a singular LeBron shoe of a different color. How many others are there like you? I got to imagine there's a lot of dads out there that are like, all right, let me fire this up. LeBron's been playing basically my entire adult. life. I like this Forever King thing. He has good shoes occasionally. I'm in on this. You know who would never do something like this? Michael Jordan. That's my goat.

Every time we go somewhere on vacation, like recently, my wife and I, we went to Vegas a couple of weeks ago, and we get to where we're going, and one of the days we did a day trip to the Grand Canyon, you know, it was cool Grand Canyon, whatever. But there's a lot of, there's a lot of walking going on. And when we get there, when we get to Vegas, my wife always says, did you pack your orthos. What'd you say? Because I have orthos and I

say no because they always make me feel really old. I have orthos for when we're doing long walks or on vacation stuff like that because I'm flat- You have a condition? I'm flat-footed. I'm flat-footed and... Not going to get drafted.

That was a positive. Not going to get drafted. But when we do long walks, and it doesn't even have to be a long walk and we're on vacation, it becomes very painful for me. And I develop planter fasciitis. And I don't like wearing my orthos because, A, they look like orthos, and B, I feel like an old man. And there's nothing I could do. Do you have cool orthos at least?

No, there's no cool orthos, man. There's no cool orthos. No, they're not cool looking at all. And I feel like an old man. Well, I think you've just landed on something that we should put our heads together and figure out. Cool looking orthos. Insoles, right? Like, insoles help?

I mean... You can't do insoles? I try, like, does it help? Maybe, like, what would it feel like if I didn't have the insoles? But it still hurts. What are they? Are they, like, just... Are they, like, off beige kind of your orthos?

They're, like, gray. They're, like, a light gray. Velcro straps? No! He's asking? Slip-ons. No. Do you have maximum stick on the bottom so you can, like, really grip?

My grandma has those. I'm not in jeopardy of falling things. down. Right? Just the same. Because usually they're two for one, right? You get the Velcro, but Max stick on the bottom with the orthoped. That's the three for one.

That's a shoe. Makes me feel old, man. You got those UFOs? Oh, I got those UFOs. They came out with like a shoe. I know. I gave one of my dad. The shoe, the shoes are very comfy.

All right. I've only worn them once. I worn them to like a rock music festival, which was a much older crowd so no one can make fun of them. You know, it's not aesthetic. What are you laughing at that, though? They're also military green. I got the shoes.

They used to be a sponsor, so I got the shoes and the slides. I kept the slides for myself. The slides are amazing. Slides are amazing. They're very comfortable. But I gave the shoes to my dad because I know he doesn't care. Hello, friends, hello listeners. I want to talk to you about Chime because Chime is changing the way people bank.

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They're annoying. What an old reference. This is the Dan Lebertar show with the Stugats. Dave, I hear we have a brand new game that we are going to play here. And it is called hockey player or prescription. Yeah, old news that NHL players of this millennium owed to the fact that it is, in fact, a global sport now. You have those Scandinavian names added to. the great names of Canadians, you have the Russians, and so on.

Also, everybody's aware of the prescription drug ads that are ubiquitous in our lives, thanks to watching sports. A lot of blood in your stool. Yeah, all that kind of talk. So let's see how good we are collectively here. I'll go one by one here, and I'll start with you, Amin. You'll see, it's hard to distinguish when I put them into context here, whether I'm talking about an NHL player or a prescription drug.

Here we go, I mean. I'm really good at these games. Okay. Brukinza. Let me put that into a sentence for you. He's spell it. Senators oft-penalized grinder, Darius Brukinza or lymphoma treatment, brukenza. Can you spell it or no?

I'm not spelling anything for you. Come on. Country of origin. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Brukinza. Brunza is a hockey player. He said Darius. Darius is what threw me off. Oh, he said Darius? Yeah. You're not listening.

I wasn't listening. The Darius threw you off. There's white Darius is especially in hockey. Especially from Eastern Europe. Remember Dariusanguyla? And Casperitis. Darius Casperitis was the inspiration here. Let's try another one real quick. Mike Ryan. And Zubko. And Zupgo. May believe small.

speedy defense minyosi and Zubko or chronic hand eczema treatment and Zubka. You know about that exima? I know you do, Zas. I'm going to go with... Whoa. Do I look like I have exima? Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Actually, not today, but when I saw you earlier this week. I didn't know Exima carries a look. It does, famously. Soda drinking, too. It's either that or rosacea. That's what I've learned from the last decade's worth of commercials. that eczema is society's greatest plague.

It's the greatest issue out there. I didn't know that everybody or so many people were struggling with it, that were required to have 78 different medications available for sufferers of the exhumans. I get it on the eyebrows occasionally. I get it right here too. Look at us. We park her car in the same garage. I don't like that garage, though.

Keep me out of that garage. So did you give an answer or no? We got into it with Zazza's rosacea slash eczema. I think it's a medication. Let's see, if you're right there. And Zubgo. And Zubgo is, in fact, a medication. Rub it on your eyebrow there, Mike Ryan, or your terrible sneakers.

Can we do one more here? You want to do another one? Would you like to play yourself? Zaz? Here we go. Van Robes. Van Robes. He gets the easy one.

I mean, so far, Dave has stumped everybody. Well, you. I'm going with it. I'm being told by the fellows behind the glass. Louis is saying we don't have that. I'm going with it anyway. Yeah, whatever. Come on. Van Robes.

I'm sorry, Van Robes. Shark Centermen, Lucas Van Robes, or esophagitis treatment, Van Robes. Van Robes. You're pronouncing a two different ways. Van Robes. Van Robes. All right. The fact that you're having trouble pronounce

It makes me believe that it's a medication. So I'm going to go medication. You are wrong. You're a hockey player. He is an actual center iceman for the San Jose shark. Right now, I'm saving some. I'm saving some for later. I thought you watch hockey.

It's good game. Good game. Fourth liner. I'll be honest with you. I don't think he's played a great deal. That's part of the secret. I really couldn't go chuck. Could I?

I mean, I think that would be a tell. That's a medication. Celebrity sounds like an antidepressant. If you didn't just watch the Olympics, Celebrini would be the most hockey player actual name that sounds like a medication ever. Celebrity is the medication you take, and then in the commercial,

they've got Celebration is the song. But it's not actual. Celebrini. Come on. Exactly. Well, I want to do, when we have more time, we should do a proper Oscars award-style award of the greatest prescription drug song out there because there are a lot of them.

It used to be the 80s when Zaz and I were growing up, the, like everybody, you know, family ties and cheers. You knew the jingle for the sitcom, but those have gone the way of the dodo bird. Thank goodness they've been replaced by prescription drug songs. What, thank goodness. I miss those days. No, I'm saying, thank goodness that somebody stepped up and it was the prescription drug industry. I give you guys Sky Rizzi.

I don't think anyone beats me. Is that the goat? Sky Rizzy's number one. I don't want, listen. Nothing is everything. Like that one. Nothing is everything. Yeah.

Sky Rizzi, baby. It happens so much fun. My dream in life is to be as happy as the people plagued by whatever ailment has landed them in a prescription drug ad. Those people have the best lives going. Oh, oh, oh, Zambic. Yeah. You know.

That's a good one. That is a good one. The goat of commercial jingles. For medications, though. Take once daily jaudience at each day's start. Terrible. Terrible. As time goes by, it was easy to see.

It's lower in my A1C. It's pretty good. That might be a suey nominee, Dave. Oh, well, thank you. So the... I didn't write that. That wasn't an original. The NHL got back to action last night.

Panthers are playing tonight. That's most important. But the NHL got back to action last night. And so that means that the best player in the world, right? Connor McDavid, he met with the media yesterday. And how about, now, certainly this is not the only. Probably wasn't even the first question, right? It's a whole media session.

He's just scrum. He's meeting with the media members. But get a load of this very forward question from one of the Edmonton beat guys for Connor McDavid. This is a hard question, but, you know, Stanley Cup's foul. Gretzky and Crosby and those guys and gold medals and you've been put yourself in position and it's not finding you. Did you think it would be this hard? That's a nice question. Thank you. No, no, no, he said nice question. Thanks for that.

It was a nice question, he said. Wow. Some people are defending it. Like, well, he gave a fuller answer to that. I'm confused by why that's an inappropriate thing to ask him. The whole point is to win when you're playing a professional sport, right? why is it out of line to ask him what's going on there? And it was the nicest possible way to ask that question. Like he said, why hasn't it found you as if it's just something that happens to you? Did you think it would be this hard? Yeah.

I don't know. Do you expect him to say I thought it was going to be easy to win Stanley Cups in a gold medal? I'm disappointed in myself. I would have thought I would have been successful in one of these tries. But the good news is I'm young. I think I'm going to have a lot more opportunities to do it. Not that young. And it is, I mean, it may be uncomfortable, but that,

is the whole point and it is the subject when you're talking about Connor McDavid who otherwise is in the conversation for a greatest player of all time. He hasn't won. So that is why he is out of that conversation at this point. Looks a big gunt there, right? Yes, he does. I thought the same thing, Tony. Yeah, he doesn't look well. Maybe that's part of the problem. And did you see, did you see in the Toronto Star yesterday as the Maple Leafs are back in action? They're playing. That's my gimmick. The Maple Leafs are at the Panthers tonight and the Toronto Star headline yesterday

Austin Matthews made his choice seemingly putting the party and the president ahead of the playoffs. I know the Canadian media is especially Toronto is really tough when it comes to hockey like really, really, really tough. They're going to push these guys away from these teams when it comes to free agency.

Like, you want to talk to about the Florida has become an attractive franchise, the winning for sure, but there's a lot that goes around to it. These guys are anonymous, all right, when they're walking around here. And like this kind of shit with Austin Matthews, and even, you know, if you think that question was fair, fine, but you know there's a lot of pressure with Connor McDavid. Like, they're going to push these guys away from those six Canadian teams. That's what sits and Cheryl was selling us on Tuesday, that a lot of players are fleeing the Canadian markets, not because of like all the others like the weather or whatever, but because

the pressure is immense, the media coverage there is very intense. It's like New York City media coverage sports. I think it's a lot worse. You think it's worse than New York? It's worse. I think it's a lot worse. We're going to be joined by Saras Sivian. It's the national sports. We're going to be joined by Sarah Sivian at 1115.

I'm curious. I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility that a guy like Connor Hellobuck gets some booze at home. Because like... Come on. I'm telling you, like the way it, geopolitically, speaking, It is, as tense as it's ever been in our lifetimes right now between the U.S. and Canada. You have this layer of them losing to the Americans in their sport, which is embarrassing enough,

but then how the Americans have carried themselves, gallivanting with an administration that has started this whole geopolitical mess between the two countries. They are not pleased. I've seen plenty of Winnipeg Jets fans going at Connor Ellibuck. I've seen plenty of these Canadian-based teams with Americans on them going at these players. saying, it would not surprise me. It would be a bad look, but it would not surprise me if these players, in some cases, get booed in their own buildings. Winning or losing in that gold medal game may end up being everything. Yes, it would be okay with Canada if Austin Matthews hadn't won,

but taking this off now in celebration of old glory and now going back to the team that is starved for a Stanley Cup run. Yeah, man, I'm with you. I think he's going to get booed Austin Matthews Okay, so in Toronto, I mean, not obviously by the Florida. And Hellebuck, too. I could see that. I mean, in Winnipeg, yeah. Like, I've seen, that's a guy that's getting like a lot of it right now on social media. Are you guys saying booed as in like, and starting a goal, Connor, Hellebuk, boo?

Yeah, I don't know. What are you saying? No, smattering. When they lose or if he lets a goal in, then they'll get on. I'm like, oh, so now Captain America can't stop a buck. So the scenario that you're painting right now, I think, maybe a smattering before the game, but if he lets one in, like, yeah, then tension start to boil over.

Yeah, I mean, you're right. I mean, you would need, practically speaking, someone to say, and in goal, Connor Hellebuck, and then see what the response is. If you don't give them the moment, which, in fact, I guess you do that standardly before the game. So, yeah, it'll be interesting his first time up there. Very quickly, can I ask you guys this? Because I mentioned it a day or three ago, in honor of the Houston and Edmonton,

Oilers. They're no longer the Houston Oilers, if you haven't heard about that. The Tennessee Oilers. There are a number, there are, in fact, six North American sports teams among the four major leagues that share the same nickname. Tony v. Chris Cody. Let's go. You're up first, Tony. Name a team. A team. I love how you're pitting people against one another. This is good stuff. Tony, you go first. You know what I'm getting at. The Oilers belong to two franchises or used to. I'll start with the hometown Florida Panthers and Carolina Panthers. Well done.

Well done. Next up. Lions. What? Do you understand what we're doing? No. Can I take his answer? Go ahead.

The Jets. The Jets is correct. Can you name them all? You have four to go. I'm ready. Go ahead, Zaz. Cardinals. Can I got a Giants?

You got the Giants? Can I get a Kings? You got the Kings, and there's one left. I want Chris to keep going. Two left, two left. Chris keeps going. Yeah, Chris. Get one right.

I don't want to play. There's one more? There's two. Oh, this is good. I like this game. We've got Panthers, right? Got the kings. We got the giants.

We got the lions. We got the Cardinals. We've got the King of the Jungle. I still don't know what game we're playing. Okay, so there's... I mean, it's isn't difficult. They're the Arizona Cardinals, and then they're the same. Louis Cardinals, right? You understand?

It's the same name, but two different sports, Chris. You got me? So the Lions... I felt like Lions was a safe guess. They're only in one sport. I think it's cool that the St. Louis Cardinals of baseball and the St. Louis Cardinals of football and the St. Louis Cardinals of football didn't start out there, but they just so happened to both land in the same American Metropolis. But anyway, that's not the game we're playing here. Sheesh.

How can we can't think of the one more? There aren't two Timberwolves. There are not, yes. There aren't two Steelers, not two Browns. How can we can't think of the one more as well? There are two more. I think you think about Celtics and Celtics, right? Certainly hawks and sea hawks, we're not counting, right?

We're not counting. We're not counting. North American sports. Just North American sports. Four major sports. There may be one in Mike Ryan's beloved. He loves the greatest single position group in Miami sports history is, soccer attacker.

If that were true, it would be sad, but it's not true. Thank goodness. We're not going with, like you mentioned. Roy. The Rangers, New York and Texas. The Rangers is correct. Well done there. And we're not counting the Oilers anymore because they don't exist in football.

There's one left unless I missed somebody saying it, but you're already real close there, Roy, regionally speaking. Between New York and Texas? The Nuggets. regionally speaking, northeast. Stars. No. Hurricanes?

No. Oh, no. Pro sports, man. Pro sports. Try lions. Don Lebertard. I think I would have been on his side. I would have looked at you like, what did you say? I'm telling you, me and my friend, the rest of the way home, all we kept saying was, I ain't cheating.

Stugats. I think he got your ass. I think he got your ass. I got his ass. Chris won this one for sure. Not pathetic. It was great. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats.

All right, just give it to us. It's the Jets. We said the Jets. I just said maybe I missed everybody saying. I said the Jets. Martin. All right. So speaking of team names, Amin has been ranting and raving before the show, the last couple of days,

trying to get someone to engage with him. I mean, go ahead and let everybody know what you've been all over. There are no more cool names that teams can have because all the cool names have been taken and copyrighted by another team somewhere else. Any cool name you think, there's only one. I've got it. I won't say it out loud. Maybe I will. Maybe I'll copyright it to myself right now.

Copyright, copyright, copyright. Shout out to Billy Gill. There's one left. Who's that? I'm not going to say it first. But I want to point out. Okay, when you say cool name, like, so what does that mean? There's only one.

So, like, some of the names we just said, lions, tigers, bears, bears, rockets, right? Like, stealers. Like, no one's called the tables for a reason. Exactly. Like, all of the stuff are goofy names or singular names and stuff like that. Nobody likes that. Those are cool names. Modern league baseball, but then they get to go crazy over there.

I'm talking about something that you could actually market on a wide range. Yeah, that needs to be taken serious. I'm a curmudgeon about the minor league baseball teams caps and everything. They're just trying to get people to pay attention to them. Attention seekers. Yeah, that's the whole point. I get it. That's the whole point.

It's obvious. Against capitalism? I'm not against it. It seems like you're against capitalism. We got a picture of you as a commie here. Where is it taken out of the arc? Oh, my God. What era of your life was this?

I'm a Yankee doodle day. That doesn't look like it. Shocking. By the way, you know Yankee doing bandy? Shame the devil. You know the origins of that song? It's making fun of Americans. That's what Yankee doo

Vandy is. It's like, oh, look at the Yankee Doon Dandy. Yeah, you would like that song. Shocking. My feelings are getting hurt. There are no cool names as. Like, think about all the new teams that have arrived. The Utah Mammoth.

Terrible. It's a dumb name, man. It's a dumb name. I don't think that's a dumb name. That's a dumb name. Ugh, it's terrible. Mammoth? One Mammoth? It's a big ass.

I think that's, I don't think there's a plural, I don't think mammoths. Mammoths, for sure. Cannot be Mammoth. No, but I don't think Mammoths is, is it correct. It's not a cool name. Okay. It's not a cool name. Well, I think there could be some stuff that we could consider cool,

but they're not appropriate anymore. Oh, okay. In the vein of like the Washington Bullets is not something that you could use anymore, you know? Stuff like that. That's my favorite one ever, though, that we decided 25 or so years ago, like, you know what? We have to do our part to diminish gun play. And there are a lot of kids that are easily influenced.

Like, I wasn't interested in shooting anybody or anything. But then my favorite basketball team was called bullets. Well, gun violence has gone down since then. Peek my interest. Especially at that locker room. I saw Calvert Cheney one time. And I was just like, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. My gun curious now?

I'm sure I am. The late Abe Poland was greatly moved because a kid in DC got shot over a pair of Chris Weber's sneakers, and he felt like the violence in Washington, D.C. had gotten to a place, and he said he didn't want his team to be associated with that kind of stuff. It wasn't public pressure. It didn't sound as good as Baltimore bullets anyway. They're also bad wizards.

Look up Rasputin. Amen. Is it a wizard? To many. We don't talk enough about how lame that was. To your point, I mean, that they 25 years ago went with wizards. No cool names. Pretty bad.

What about the commandos? That would be a good name? No, that's ass. Really? You know what commando means? I think so. This is a very high conversation. What is the goat of terrible team names in sports?

Of terrible names. Well, I mean, we should get the 10-foot pull-out for that one to evaluate that because the worst one, any really, it's basically a tie at the bottom. Any team whose name doesn't end in S. although I do have to throw in the completely lazy move by the Nashville Predators. Let's come up with a fearsome beast that will intimidate our foes when they walk into our building. Like, what should we do? We need a Predators to.

You know what? It's 4.59 on Friday. Let's just get out. Predators, it is. It's just all. We're taking them all. All the beasts that need other beasts. That's our name now.

It's the worst one going. Um, heat is bad. No, what? He's a great name. Comey. You got to let him talk like that? It doesn't have an ass at the end. It creates a grammatical conundrum.

Have you been to Miami Heat is good? But I'm worried more about the grammar of it. The Miami Heat is good or are there 12 guys on the team? Who cares about that? They are good. Miami's hot. The Heat. It's always for an awkward interview.

I speak. What do you mean? Why do I care? Because I speak. It's a great. It's a great honor and privilege to be a heat. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, that's the thing. Like, for instance, if I play for the Knicks, I am a. If I play for the Celtics, I am a. Celtic. If I play for the jazz, I am a. You're a jazz player. A jazz man. That's the, that's literally what it is.

Really? No way. I like that. Jazz is the worst for me. That's the goat of bad ones for me. So if someone in Salt Lake City sees a player for the jazz in the mall, they say, oh look over there he's a jazz man that's a jazz man yeah and if you're on the blues you're a note

you're doing a joke no not they're the notes no they're locally the notes yeah that's uh that's not made up this goat conversation is presented by frank's red hot make every dish the greatest eat the goat and by the way I've done a lot of great work and I hate to pat myself on the back but my work here has in fact been great in analyzing these things

As a for instance, why would the Los Angeles Clippers, when they've moved to L.A., knowing when the day they arrived that the Lakers owned this town, by the way, stupid name, Minneapolis Lakers, that is the plague of Los Angeles. Alliteration saved them. Well, L.A. Dodgers, there are no trolley Dodgers in Los Angeles. You're dodging traffic in Atlanta. Right. There are no trolleys. I don't know anyway. No, they have a trolley. The one that goes up that steep-ass hill. That's not a trolley. That's an incline. Or I forget what you call it.

That's what that is. That's more like a train that only goes up and goes down. But if you're the clippers, you arrive there. By the way, I've asked a bunch of clippers this, or I did a number of years ago, if any of them knows or knew what a clipper is. Tony, do you know? Of course I do.

The Yankee Clipper. Good hotel. It's a boat. It's a fast-moving ship. That's right. There's a hotel here, or used to be a hotel here called the Yankee Clipper. Chris's favorite pastime.

Dave, everyone knows now because the clippers in their most recent rebrand went super nautical on everything. I don't know if you've been into it. They've got all sorts of waves. It's an awful. Have I been into it? The dome. I get it.

I've been in into it. See, that's another one. Have I been in into it? I have been in into it. But what I should be going in is not the home of the L.A. clippers. Instead, they should have just veered a hard right turn away from L.A. second NBA team. And instead, rebranded as Hollywood whatever. The Hollywood Knights, spelled with a K, unfortunately, Vegas has since jumped in, but I had advocated

for that for many moons. The Hollywood Knights with a K or rhinos, double entendre. Rhinos, that's a fearsome beast, and it honors the residents of Los Angeles who've had rhinoplasty. And a lot of people there have. That's a good name. But I stick with Hollywood Knights as a grand name, a better one. And by the way, Thunder Stinks, Oklahoma City Twisters. That would have been a winner.

That one was suggested, but they felt because the natural disaster thing was a little too sensitive and they went away from that. Well, I mean, you know, then you got to get on the hurricanes, both pro and. Oh, we're good. Here's a deal, Dave. We're great name, dog. Have you seen the great pickle of 2026? My movie theater sells pickles. I'm going to charge.

There is a two and a deal. This could be problematic. They rolled out the names, the official. names for hurricanes, named storms. Did you see what one of the names is? Hurricane Bain? No. There's a hurricane that's going to be called Cristobal. Wow.

That's pretty cool. They do it. I've looked into this. The meteorologists have some name that they check through A through Z and then they go back to A and they just keep going to alternate male and female names and then they go by the first letter A, B, C, D, etc. Well, speaking of this, you know, I've advocated

before. It's right there. Why would you, if your home has to get destroyed, it's terrible, no matter what, but, you know, Katrina, she did, like Ruth, Hurricane Ruth, Matt. There's a lot of names there to cycle through. It's an extra gut punch. We should be using football players names. I mean, it wouldn't feel as bad. Hurricane Mahomes. My house got destroyed by what? Hurricane De Brickshaw, like, oh, well, I mean, how would you possibly survive that? I don't want to see that hurricane. How about after Budkis? Like, what happened? Hurricane Dick, Say no more. Hurricane Mean Joe.

I never had a chance. You know, now, right? To go back to your, well, how come you got Hurricanes as a team name? Current names or current teams are grandfathered in. I'm saying as a new brand, you can't come out with a new brand like that. But if you did it back in 19-0-whatever or 18-90-whatever, then it's all right. It's fine because back then there were different sensibilities. There's only one name left.

You know what? I've decided since I said copyright, copyright, copyright, a bunch of times. sit on there? Yeah, I want to know it. Mako Sharks. You needed to copyright that, you felt? The Miami Maco Sharks. Miami Maco's. Okay, if you just go Maco's, that's all right.

Makos, oh, it's like Knickerbocker. It's the long name, but then we just shorten it to Mekos. Okay, I like that. You won me over. What do the heat players call themselves? On the internet, I've seen Heishans out there. No, heishin is a stupid name. Hatties.

But what do they call themselves? Heedle. I'm a heat. That's bad. That's bad. It's bad. You know what? The one that has been around for more than 100 years is white socks and red socks.

I'm a red sock. Sure. Player. I'm a magic is worse. I'm a magician. Magician. Why do they get to spell it with an X? Jeremy Tashet sent me this.

It's a tweet from a guy named Jay Kudo who said, most teams named after a sock by professional sports league. MLB is in the league with two. They've got two teams. All other leagues combined. Zero. Why were we naming teams after socks back in the day? Sox are big in baseball. There are a couple that are good. My least favorite going legitimately, not just because it doesn't end in an S, is wild.

Minnesota Wild as in the outsides. That's what it's a reverber. The Wild is in the Great Outdoors. The Great Outdoors would have been better than Wild. The Minnesota Outs is a terrible name. Also, Nets is an underrated awful one. Like, let's name it after something to do with the sport. The balls? No.

The rim? The hardwoods? Nope. We're not working blue. The Metropolitan's. There's actually three in baseball. I understand why people think there's like a racist origin to it, but they were named the Cincinnati Red Stockings at first. Hmm. Remember that show? Silk Stockings? Yeah. Right after Raw, right? Yeah. Every Monday night on USA. I like when they named people after, or they named the team after their best player.

The Cleveland spiders were called or changed their name from spiders to Indians because their best player was a Native American. That's true. I got your best one right here. The Los Angeles LeBron. The old name of the Brooklyn Dodgers. Do you know what it was? The name of the Brooklyn Dodgers before they were the Dodgers. The trolley Dodgers.

The bridegrooms.