The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Laughter and Grief Go Together

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

Dan discusses on and off air disagreements, and as he name-drops Chris Long, the Dolphins are one of the biggest. Then, Football™ keeps happening to quarterbacks and our security guard, Frankie, LOVED our White Elephant gift exchange. Plus, Rob Delaney stops by to discuss his book "A Heart That Works," about the death of his son and the grief that comes from it, and as Dan wants to gain some words of wisdom after the passing of his brother, they both want to find a way to make the interview funny. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Welcome to the big, sweet, presented by Giraffe King. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys. I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, that face and the habitual liar. I did a rare thing I hardly ever do off-air. Stugots loves to do it to me. Stugots loves after we've had a disagreement of some sort on air. He loves to text me all the way home in the next day, the night,

when he goes and does research and explain me why Otani is indeed ill-erated. Like, and I get it all night and I get bombarded with it. But I don't usually do that to other people. But after the show yesterday, I sent Chris Cody a tweet that reported that that Titans victory that we just saw in all circumstances when a team is down, 14 points with three or four minutes left in a football game.

And the number was like some 700 times it happened. And nobody ever comes back in that situation. I was explaining to Chris Cody while he was trying to give me perspective and say, look, this is just one loss. All teams in that sport lose a game to a bad team. And while he's right about that, what he's not right about is none of the teams in the top of that sport fighting for that position have ever lost that game that way in that situation and

It's crushing to your fan base to your family your mom is out She's dolled out she thinks everything that's ever happened to this team is gonna happen again And they're going to lose and this is the beginning of what signals it. That game lost that way. Yes, of course, we could come in the next day, Chris. Of course. And if they'd lost 23 to 9, we come in. Well, that was a weird one, but football's weird, huh? Look at what David O. Just did. Did you see how his agent was dressed? Like, football's weird. So it happens and you can convince yourself of that. But if you believe that all of these teams are as fragile as their quarterbacks, physically and otherwise, right?

Because I just, Chris Long is texting me. He's gonna get a tattoo of Tuah if... -♪ Look at me, Louis. Thank you. I was gonna hit somebody with a look at me, Luigi in the last segment. No. After somebody said something, and I got scared.

So... Would it be the, I have an Italian American husband so I can do the Italian. That is what it was. Well, I mean, I'm just saying, huh? That is exactly what I was going to use it on. But Chris Long has stakes in this team being a fraud because he has been saying for a while, it's a fraud.

They can't be good teams, not physical enough, too, is not a good quarterback. I'll get a tattoo if he can win the Super Bowl. And so he texted me last night asking, would you give to one of these big contracts? Because he's sort of taunting me, trying to say, would you, if you were in the front office position, would you give that pretty contract?

And not only his health issues, but look at what just happened in that game when everything wasn't perfect. Look at what happened. If you can't get the ball out in 2.3 seconds and Tyree kill his hurt. And I'm asking him, well, you tell me football expert who's got an excellent podcast. I'm confused by what's happening with Brock Pertie. I don't know how good he actually is, but God damn, when the 49ers are whole,

he looks like he is the best player in the world and I would give him all the money, but in a salary cap sport, you gotta have value at that position. If you wanna keep Debo Samuel and everyone else because as we've learned in segments earlier in the show, everybody wants their stuff, like when money's involved,

and in that's for where you're giving your body over to the cause. They're all fighting over money. You understand that at this point we have enough knowledge about football that if you have that as an option, largely sometimes it's because you don't have great options. And all of them are fighting over money and the 49ers are now physically fighting people. And Dre Monton is way out the door because they use that furnace and that volatility for their means. And now here it is with San Francisco.

Debal wanted his money and he got his money. All of these guys are gonna want their money. Brock Bird is not making any money. Brock Bird is working for less than a million dollars a year. You've got to find yourself quarterback who lives at home like DeVito, so you could build the rest of them. That sport's not paying its players,

it's labor enough money. For you to have all of the money you need to keep all of those people happy when they're giving their bodies in a fight, often in the inner cities, for money. Everybody made a whole big thing about Brock Purtey living with a roommate, and then Tommy DeVito came in and he was like, oh, I see your roommate, and I raised you two roommates. They're my parents. It's the new lane. Like this is, if the quarterbacks used to be Brady

and Manning and they did their commercials, how do you get to the commercials now? I wanted to ask that dude a thousand questions about the opportunities that are coming this kids way because hell man, we're so desperate for a healthy quarterback. Josh Dobbs was our guy for a minute. Like it's. I'll remember that. It's totally crazy, but then you game plan for Josh Dobbs was our guy for a minute. Like it's... I don't remember that.

It's totally crazy. But then you game plan for Josh Dobbs. These jobs are hard. We don't know what we're doing at the position. No one knows who's good, but you know how you get good? You got to get seven straight opportunities. Good luck with that kid. That's where your contract is. Seven straight opportunities. You got to get them all. Everyone's got to get hurt. Or Davido, we never see him. Never talk about him. Don't know anything about him. or Davido, we never see him, never talk about him, don't know anything about him. On tour, Brock Purdy, I don't know what he is, but he might be MVP of the league

if San Francisco can stay healthy enough and have all of the passing numbers. He is now second favorite, according to sports books out there, draft king sports book, Dac Prescott with his recent performance over the Eagles has taken a slight lead over Brock Purdy, but those are the two favorites right now.

Another quarterback who needs a lot of things to be perfect and in Dallas, a lot of things look like they're perfect. But Dr. Pertie, we know that Dak Prescott with this year compared to previous years, we know that he needs a lot of things to be perfect. We're just assuming that, given the history of Cal'Shan hands offense,

but we don't have tape of Brock Pertie in a different system. And we don't know that anyone can do it because Traylant couldn't, and he had the skill set. But my point still stands on this position. The people who are in charge, they don't know either. They don't. They're all guessing and they're playing probably another. I put it in the list.

You and Stellato said that. Yeah. It is crazy. I found it interesting how his agent, I got me thinking how many third string quarterbacks are there out there right now that genuinely in their team are like, I just need my shot. Well, we're gonna see them all because we've mocked. We've mocked them. Like, we're like, oh, Davido, this guy came out of nowhere, but he's been sitting there like,

just give me my chance. I'm gonna be the next. Browning too, but if Burrow had been healthy the next game, Browning's chance would have been done. He got one chance and then he got a second chance and you need to get seven of them in a row because the job seems hard it seems like hard to do but Josh dobs didn't make it look hard because no time to prepare for Josh dobs he doesn't know his teammates names we

don't know what he's gonna do this is a military complex in terms of strategy bellicichael strangle you he will strangle even just in her bird every time just in her bird doesn't know what it because that defensive coach is also paid and He's got to get his money and these people are working a world that's ultra competitive. Let me get back to two of those So I said to Chris Long Well, this is the way that I would do it. I assume happiness is something that To what would value? I assume the two are seeing everything that the rest of us are seeing

and seeing this is a pretty good place where they support me. I worked for Flora's that didn't feel very good. I almost ended my career because of how miserable I was. I see that I have a certain value and everyone else can argue about whether I'm MVP or the 12th best quarterback, but here they seem to get me. I've got a coach I trust. I've got franchise stability and I don't have to play the way that Zach Wilson is doing in New York, whether the organization, man, say a little bail on you in a minute if you cost him his job.

So do I have organizational stability? I, if I'm too, I'm like, man, winning seems fun. Happy seems fun. I'll take less, whatever, because I'm putting a down payment on happy, because I'd like the next three years if I get concussed, I'm risking my brain. I'm risking my brain for this.

I'd like it to be happy. But isn't that the happiness though, is knowing that I'm risking all this, so I'm going to be compensated accurately as opposed to me giving a discount. Fine, but he is seen. Look, man, Flores is a bellicic disciple. Flores really didn't like to support to or think he was any good in a way that's obvious,

but the new coach gets here and says, get me Tyrake Hill. I've got an answer for you. I do it a new way. I'm not doing it the way Bella checked is. I like his division done a different way. I'm an ally. I'm a secretary. How can I help you?

I'm a leader, but how can I help you? How can I make you better? Look, you and me are gonna do this together. I'm a teacher, I'm with you. As long as I'm secure, you're secure. Then it becomes a relationship. Then it becomes love. Then it becomes fun.

And then when you lose, it hurts together, but to what gets half his money and they're gonna keep trying to give Tyree Kill his money. They're gonna keep trying. To what, like man, I don't know. I will tell you now that if I had to do some things over again as we did them at ESPN I would not do many of them over again because I had to feel the pain of the last two years to get stronger and understand what happy look like and what the cost of it was. What the price was?

Really? Yes. Oh no, really? Yes. You wouldn't see, I don't know about it. No, I would not change it. I'll tell you why I wouldn't change it. I would not change what I did because the suffering has now gotten to a point where it's made me stronger. But the last two years have been an unholy hell and I was pushed into that position at least in part because they took out one of our guys. And when they did that and tempted me to do it myself, I said, okay, after, okay, okay, I'll

do it myself. But self-employment is hard. Yeah. Like, it is hard. And now the responsibility of 44 people and the media industry is falling apart and can you get to something stronger and happier, can I make these people believe in what we're doing enough that I care about their families that I care about the responsibility of this? Can I make them feel

Loved in this environment, so we're not fighting over money. So let me ask you this question, right? If a genie came by and said hey, I could take you back to right? If a genie came by and said, hey, I could take you back to, whoa, it was a 2017 when everything was cool at ESPN or cooler than it. I'd spend more time with my brother. I'd quit. I would spend more time with my brother. That's what I would do. If you gave me a genie, if you gave me a genie, and I'd write books with my brother and I'd do cartoon books and I'd do art with my brother and I'd do a business with my brother that I was trying to get to. That's, that's how I would answer that question. Like'd wish for Cam Ward to transfer to Miami.

What's the story there? I will find out today. But you are Rick Ross is involved? No, Rick Ross was at prime once while there was a photo. My amy's choosing between two top quarterbacks in the portal, it's either gonna be Will Howard or Cam Ward unless the... It's Miami's choice.

There's a deadline today. Someone's got to make a choice. They they rape both and it's a good position for my my amy to be in. Um, so we'll we'll find out. This is no matter what it presents an upgrade over Tyler Van Dyke. Congratulations. We just found out yesterday is transferring to Wisconsin. I'm going to be honest. I don't think the Genie in 2017 would know who cam ward was.

I mean, with the the COVID year 2017 would know who Cam Ward was. I mean, with the COVID year, he might have been in Houston. I got to look it up. I was also looking up the Tommy Davido Heisman campaign that never was. Well, you mentioned Wisconsin. You know that when they were at Illinois, he beat him real bad. And then they fired their coach, right? So just to bring it back to Tommy Davido, Cam Ward was 15 at the time. And if like a genie is presenting you

with 15 year olds, stay away from the genie. Not the way your mustache looks right there. Like you look like someone that I can incriminate on that front. Is that a different mustache? That's a different one. No, yes. No, I'm pretty sure it's the same one.

I think it's the same. It's gaslighting us. Tiled the thicker. What? You just brush it different. I mean, it's what I'm saying, ridiculous, though, the idea of Tua understanding with his coach that organizational stability is something worth valuing

that they clearly helped make him better and he values that. Yes, but also, like we said, he puts his brain on the line every Sunday. And I think that's a different calculus. It's not like an NBA player taking less so they can get Good team. I understand but it's still the difference between $200 million and a hundred million dollars. It's a big difference, but what's the cost of happy? I'm dead serious on this like I'd pay that if I had it for

Happy I'm paying a lot for happy and cam Don't love a card. Chris Cody does an impression just be careful dangerous game. This is a dangerous game I don't want to play this game. No, man. I could do such a great. Oh, I don't want to play this game He's like man. I can't do it like him. This is who we're gonna trust me. Let's let a mean do it I think I think I think you could do it Chris because you did a great Charles Barkley your one for one there Did no one just hear the segment we just did with the mean we cannot be taking judgment is not the best from the local drunk on whether or not You should do the impersonation of a black man stumbling over his words like you don't see the bad Moza moody moody moody moody moody moody

It sounds Moody Moses Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Moody Mo Then the line is where we feel alive though. This is the Dalabata show with the Stugats. Ooh, sure, here we go. What was that? It's energy bringing the energy in. Well, we'd already started the segment though. You're supposed to count us in. No, we start when the good material appears and you just did what to get the energy? Are you trying to change the energy in the room?

It's been a clunky, it's been an awkward hour here and we've been moving fast. I got to explain. I got to explain something to people like Mike Ryan's the executive producer of the show and a few months he's not going to be the executive producer of the show. This is a stressful environment, although it doesn't look like it. A lot of work goes into not making a stressful environment and there I would like more often for there to be sparks creatively. I would like that but you don't want too many sparks because things catch flames when there are a lot of them. Now it's been it's been a rough week but thankfully I just auditioned

a new agent and I am hiring chunks a lot of it was by media agent and we'll see where the future takes us. We're very excited about this after a meeting at the Bang Bang Room or whatever. You'll meet me too. That Michael's a Brooklyn. I warm my most Italian shirt, and I didn't even, I didn't tell him about it, because I, but now I'm telling you all.

Yeah, okay, go sit in the penalty box, and create a look at me Luigi for me, please, for Charlotte, because- I'm worried about how this will be produced and how cultural, appropriationally it'll feel. There is a real opportunity for Tommy DeVito and his agent to grab some marketing dollars here in a way that is fun and funny.

And this is Linn Sanity vibes. I guess the sample in this season, I mean, I know it felt longer than it was because there were multiple games, but if you compare what an NFL season was, the percentage of Tommy DeVito being a thing has already matched the percentage of Jeremy Lynn in his season of being a thing.

So Tommy DeVito, I think at the very least, has set himself up for life with paid appearances and autograph signings and being just a local legend just from these last two weeks. But he's not going for comedy. He's not. He wants to be a starting quarterback. He's probably thinking, I think the people think I'm a joke. Yeah, I say this with respect.

There's, I think, a rightful amount of skepticism over these last two weeks, but he's NFC player of the week. On the other side, Zach Wilson is the other player of the week. And we kind of have our minds made up about him. I don't know if anybody projects Tommy DeVito to be one of these regular starters in the NFL, but I would love it. I don't think this gets old for me. That was the question I wanted to ask

because Dan kept saying like, oh, you got all these Italian opportunities. And I was going to say, hey, man, like is there any part of this? Well, you're like, whoa, my client is legitimate. He should get opportunities marketing and otherwise because he's a good player. Okay, but that's because he's a good player.

And maybe, but they gave Daniel Jones the money, okay? So now the hustlers got to find their money where the money is, like the money is guaranteed and this is when players say, this is about politics, I never got my shot shot this is how it happens Do you understand when I'm watching football on Sundays what I believe I am watching is hey 70th best quarter back in the league when there are Only really like nine guys who can do this well drop back in the pocket I'm gonna throw machete's at you and I'm gonna throw cleavers at you and do this really fast and from the end zone view

Anybody watching this would say oh shit. That's miles Garrett in two seconds this jobs impossible do it quickly do it well do it fast right off the bat be good at it no reps look like Aaron Rogers that that's what the that's what the standard is at the jets now the jets the standard is look as good as Aaron Rogers who lands four plays and fall down and every game it's gonna be machetes and cleavers machetes and cleavers are you good at this are you not good at this and we've got no time to decide

not the pocket where you got a throw it into seconds not with our organization because you know who's gonna get fired if Daniel Jones isn't the quarterback everybody like if if Daniel Jones isn't the quarterback who loses their job all your protection and so when that's the pressure cooker and as an added bonus all the people in management don't know how to identify quarterbacks the bag is best and biggest winner ever 45

years old no one wanted him no one it not even the coach who now looks like a bum who was a genius because he had him they don't know how to do this all of them are hurt I saw an article in the ringer. What's happening with this epidemic? What can we do about quarterbacks getting hurt everywhere? Not play football. There you go. Like that's what you could not have any of them play football. That's not enough. That's not you. That's option B. Let try it. Okay, but I'm super into prime football on Thursday with Eastern stick versus Aiden O'Connor. But the question made me laugh because the ringer's asking like, what happened this year to the quarterbacks?

And my answer was football. Football happened to all of them. You can't keep changing the rules. What you can't hit them in the legs. You can't hit them in the legs you can't hit them in the head but last week cj stride we were excited about him for a few games now you go in the concussion pro's recall we've been arguing about Justin Herbert excited about cj stride yeah can just want to say is it possible that maybe they made the rules so much so that quarterbacks aren't used to getting hit so now they're so soft

because they haven't been getting hit that any time they get hit, they're extra fragile. Oh, Billy, you Galaxy brained. You have another mustache on it. That's the same mustache as Chris. You're an idiot. Billy, I do want, he's got a massive point here, right? This is my cell phone case philosophy, right?

When you have a case on your cell phone, you're a lot more reckless. But if you don't have a case on your cell phone, you're a lot more reckless. But if you don't have a case on it, now you're more cautious. Same thing here, it's like, hey, if I have all of these rules protecting the quarterbacks, when you actually get hit,

it's like, oh, what was that all about? Guys, 20 years ago, going through this as much. Billy, I'm with you on this, let's explore this. Before you know what, you're gonna get down, you get down or you're gonna get hit. Now it's like, I'm gonna fake get down and then I'm gonna get drilled and I'm gonna get extra 15 yards but also I'm out for the season. Drop the dookie.

Minshu loves doing that fake get down stuff. Minshu, that- Minshu loves getting hit though. If we're gonna be real, Minshu and Baker love getting hit. They wake up and they're like, I want to get hit. They're, I think they sometimes walk out into traffic hoping to getting hit. They wake up and they're like, I wanna get hit. I think they sometimes walk out into traffic, hoping to get hit. Yeah, Baker's got that about him. No doubt, come back player of the year. I feel like Minshu's the next Ryan Fitzpatrick.

We're gonna see Minshu for the next 10 years, just being the guy that can get you four games. And then we're gonna have him on the show and anger him. Yeah, asking about a water slide. But it's a great lane and that's such a great example. Think about all the teams that went trying to beat Brady, thought Fitzpatrick was the answer for 20 years. All of the ones in the division thought,

well, I don't know, he had some good games with the bills. Let's do this for 10 years. Let's see how this goes because we don't know anything about who's a good quarterback. Menshu, I've seen him throw for 400 yards. Menshu will play until he's 39. Menshu's gonna do a flakot just did. Menshu, that's how that one, that one, that's got, you understand that what's happening

in that sport is all of them are being thrown into a meat grinder to fight over money. And we don't know who the good quarterbacks are. And we analyze the sport by the way, more than any other thing that we analyze in our lives. I have a Gardner Menshu phone case now. Don't kick me up, please don't kick me up. I'm not sure. A lot of psych eggs today. Billy, have an audio audience. Speaking of psych eggs.

It was a mustache stuck on my back. There you go. Theater of the Minds, guys. It was mustache stuck on there. You go Peter the mind Charlotte also the timing's a little Well, look at there. Look at there Billy's mustache. I want you to be dressed like that. I want to create a commercial around Billy's buys I want you to be dressed like that and you to sell some of the weird things that you like to buy because your and you to sell some of the weird things that you like to buy because your I don't like how this is being presented. What does that supposed to mean? Weird things that I like to buy. Also, if I was truly in character and this was the era, I'd be super confused by half the things that I was selling. What is it, Dree? This is the thing though. A beam comes out of this portal.

I don't understand the purchases you're making these days or the things that are interesting to you to make. I shouldn't say they're weird. I think you're unusual and you buy unusual things. Okay, that didn't clear anything up or make anything better. He also bought clearly the worst gift at our White Elephant Exchange. What is that? Well, first of all, they were all anonymous.

I'd just like to say. So, you have no way of knowing for certainty what the gift was that I purchased. He bought a kids toy. There were no kids at this time. Well, I bought crocodile dentist. Why is that a bad gift? It's a fun game. Where is it?

We could play that game. I actually ended up with it for my kid because Cougs didn't want it. Cougs got done dirty. Did you see? And Greg Cody. Greg Cody had his gift all about nine times. That was, I've never seen something like that. I've done Secret Santa every year for many, many years.

I have never seen one person get their gift stolen a dozen times. Well, at the end, it was just out of spite because people were stealing candles from me. We were chanting steel, Greg's gift, whatever you had. It was a scandal. If you brought a candle to that thing, come on.

Do you think Franky has all of that on video that I'm sure he's never going to watch again. Well, you say that, but I've never seen anyone enjoy anything the way our head of a security. Frankie, enjoyed other people stealing. Keep it minding. Hey, you can steal. He can steal. He can steal. First time it happened, he put someone in a headlock which is great. We're like, Frankie, no, this is the type of stealing with a bag.

Good stealing, good stealing. It's loud today. What happened though to the fine bucket money? Get back on that case. Our head of security, you remember, when I say that self-employment is hard, that at the very beginning of this, I was paying someone a thousand dollars a day in security of my own money because we didn't know how to secure our building after the insurrection. In fairness, there were no incidents. Yes, but you got, but there was a line of people who wanted security work saying, wait,

they're paying a thousand dollars a day over there because Dan's got to protect the building, the Clevelander from insurrectionists. I feel like if we revisit that, the Clevelander was probably low on the list of targets after the Capitol. I don't know about that. There's probably like, you know, 10 or 12 stocks at least in between. There was plenty of stuff on social media that made us think we should probably get security.

It was the Capitol building, number two, the Clevelander. Right after that. My whole thought was, well, if they could do this to the Capitol building, for sure they can handle the Cleveland. And so in the difficulties of self-employment that are more complicated than you might imagine, also we got out of the Cleveland.

There are a few weeks after gun play was all over the place and someone died in the lobby of the hotel. A worker died in the lobby because someone was just shot. And so when I talk, yeah, yeah, it was there. I was there. It was, you were there that night? You were at the Cleveland at that night? That night because I was supposed to do my series

XM radio show. How many people come back this story? Well, no, I left because the funniest thing, I left because I decided I'd rather do it in my room and in commercial breaks lie down on my bed. That's the only reason I went back. I didn't want to be sitting in the chair for three hours. But at that point, my plan was, I'm just going to work through the night. I mean, just do it right here in the studio. So we've lost our way. Frankie, during the gift exchange, our head of security has never been so happy. The old sidetrack, hey, someone was murdered in our office, moving on, sorry, I was there.

So the white elephant. Yes, thank you. Things have gotten intense. And Dan props to you for getting us back on track. Yeah. Normally most people would want to chase that whole murder thing, but not you. Let's get back to white elephant. And Frankie's joy, our head of security. Franky as Mike Ryan Pepperd, Greg Cody, with 10 versions of his favorite song,

and my holiday song, what was the name of that song? It's inundated me. You hit him with it like 10 times every time. Brothers for sale. Okay, now go ahead. Rooms, select. 50%. And so yeah, here's Franky'm gonna do a Franky keep on

I'm good. He usually goes I'm great Cody in that you have to steal keep a stealing My dad you can steal his give a steal it a steal it Don't live a tard. I got somebody here making fun of me How old do you have to be to reference checky green man man i went comedically there with the funny name of a comedian that's on you for not knowing who shecky greener you know who shecky greener you don't have to know who shecky greener is but i i get no no i don't like my allies the bush belt stugatz um i have the soul of a bush belt comedian i should be in the cat skills in nineteen forty five opening for shecky green

that's why I was destined to be. This is the Don Limita show with this two cats. Hello Rob. I am starting right now. I have not talked to you in a while and we are on the air and before we get to very serious subject matter, I've got a problem that I need your help with. You're a human being who has made a comedy career out of the democracy of comedy now on Twitter. You're just wildly, wildly funny, but you have written a book and we have talked about some of the subject matter. Rob Delaney, for those of you who do not know, is the creator of catastrophe. He is, well, he's the creator of the show catastrophe,

which was very popular, is very popular. And if you have humor and relationships, it's a really honest look at relationships that's wildly funny. It's one of the most inventive television shows that I have seen in a while. And he had, as his life fell apart, he had the strength to write one of the great comedy works on television and realized during that time.

And sorry Rob to speak for you, I've read the book, you're a friend, I consider you a friend, and so I will tell the people, I will tell the people that you did a proud and brave thing by writing a book about the worst pain a human being could possibly feel. And you did this after gaining the life perspective of, yeah, I had to hit comedy, but I was a shitty husband and I needed to be a more present father. And you realized very overtly, I'm working

and success and comedy. Yeah, they're important, but family matters more and love matters more. And this is serious subject matter because you lost your son in a way, obviously, that is torturous. And I've got in my studio an old-timey baseball player with a ridiculous mustache who's going to be in on our show. And we're, yeah, so help me. Can you help me? How do I navigate the serious subject matter in this book?

And hey, let's be funny and entertaining. Well, I would say we can jettison the need to do that, right? Because if you feel the confidence that you're talking about, that what you're talking about is worthwhile, then humor can happen. But if you try too hard,

then it won't be fun. I mean, not that I'm not going to try to be funny, obviously, about this book, but it is empirically funny that we have an old-time baseball player. And maybe it might not be funny to know you, but since I do, it makes it funny to me. So we could, I guess, start there. Okay, but the awkwardness of doing interviews about this, right? You and I have talked about how transactional some of this stuff is, and you're now on tour selling a book in which you're talking about the greatest possible pain. And the interviews aren't going to be human.

And it's going to, I mean, you're going to provide the humanity within the artifice of television, but you've been navigating serious subject mean, you're going to provide the humanity within the artifice of television, but you've been navigating serious subject matter and you're a comedian. You're also a serious actor, but you're a comedian. I think your greatest strength is your funny. Well, thanks. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Life is so insane, and they're in the buffet of life. There's so many weird meals on offer that any human life is going to be a collision of things that are wonderful and funny and excruciatingly painful and seemingly endless and hilarious and things that make you horny and things that make you want to go hide under a rug so

Yeah, that said yeah promoting the book hasn't been the most organic normal Feeling thing in the world because you know you want to get it out there in the way to get any piece of media out there You got to promote it. So it had felt weird. Yes, you're right about that because this book is different. This isn't a book about aliens taking over Arkansas. It's not a book about a historical, you know, I don't know, earthquake cleanup rescue thing that turned into a romance, it's the story of my son and he died. So yeah, it has been strange. I've the sort of style on the pain of promoting it is that the book has gotten in front of loads of bereaved parents and siblings and people who can really use it.

So this is the first thing I've ever promoted where I'm like, okay, if I do this, then this is gonna happen, meaning if I promote it, yes, painful, then somebody who lives in a suburb of Tallahassee can get the book, because they hear about it, you know, whereas I live in the middle of London, I can walk to a bereaved parent's meeting because I live in a, you know, thrumming megalopolis, But what if you can't? You know, you need tools to help you. So,

I hope that this book could be a tool like that. And, you know, through promoting it, more people who could use it can read it. It's a New York Times best seller. It's a heart that works. It's out now in paperback. And I have not talked to you since this happened to me. So I will tell you that the places that you and I talked about the loss of your son at the time that we talked about it, I didn't even know my brother was sick when we had that conversation. And in the time since then, my brother has died. And I will tell you that the pain of that has been, I don't know what your pain is exactly right I can't possibly know even though Yeah, you've written a book, but I

Feel like I lost the sun because I raised him Yeah, yeah Yeah, it's it's brutal and I'm glad that you Are talking about it. I'm so Incredibly sorry. I'm glad that you're crying and that people can hear that Because the pain there's an old-timey baseball player here at Rob Like what yes, thank you like I can't cry in front of these people. Do you know how weak it is? Do you know I'm a I'm a blubbering idiot people. Do you know how weak it is? Do you know?

I'm a blubbering idiot, Rob. I need this to be funny. Like, look, there's an old timey baseball player. Rob. I know. I know. And it's very interesting because parents get all the, I don't know, attention when their kid dies. And people say, oh, that's the worst thing that could happen. Very interesting because parents get all the,

I don't know, attention when their kid dies and people say, oh, that's the worst thing that could happen. And all right, maybe it is. It's the worst thing I could have ever imagined. But then I watch my son's brothers, his two older brothers, and the one that was born, my wife was pregnant also when our son died.

So we've had a forced boy and helping these boys who were just three little peas in a pod. I have hundreds of pictures of the three of them in Henry's hospital bed. Henry the youngest, two years older, is the next brother and then two years above that is the other one. And what are they doing without their little compatriot, their little partner in crime, their little nugget, you know? And so watching a brother's mourn, a brother has been, you know, very difficult and I don't know and a wrist-b-f*** up privilege because it's so beautiful to see these brothers express the love and

grief that they feel and felt for this amazing boy. It's heavy, heavy shit. Can you explain to people because I'm optimistic that this might be so, and I've felt some soothing in, it's been, you know, it's only been a few months, but I have felt while carrying around what I would say is a physical weight of sickness in my stomach. Like I can feel it that does not listen listen and it's there as soon as I wake up in the morning. I can hope that this is going to have lessons of growth on the other side of the pain. And I can see it sort of from here, but I got, but life's happening all around me in a number of different ways that interrupt my grief. Are you stronger now and more balanced

and do you have a better relationship with life? Is that the gift he left you? I hesitate to encapsulate it, especially to you, somebody experiencing a cute grief. Your brother, it's fair to say, just died. So, I wouldn't want to blow smoke up your ass and waste your time and also dishonor the very appropriate pain that you're feeling. So, on paper, the answer is yes. A cute grief makes way for sort of long-term grief

where the excruciating waves of often physical pain may come with more time between them as time goes on. So, you know, a day will come where when you think about your brother, your first physical instinct will be a smile. And then, often, it'll be tears. So, yeah, I could say that, and it's true, but... Part of what I wanted to do with the book was not... Hell people that there was hope... or give them... Maxims or...

Sayings or any nonsense like that. People could take hope away from the book. Another mustache, fantastic. Thank you. For your, I saw it in a bunch of my moustaches. Well, this is the thing. It's distracting. Rob, I want to laugh with you. Rob, I want to laugh with you and I want to talk about laugh with you, and I want to talk about the serious stuff because I think you have genuine knowledge for me here, right? I have found so little solace in the words of anybody.

Like, I, I, I, like, there's, I've found so little bomb, but I also have a guy in the back who's dressed like an old-timey baseball player, and I can't, I can't do both of these things at once. Right, but I honestly, God thinks that the absurdity of that is a very helpful thing. A lot of people would say, I don't know if there were some f***ing grief intimacy coordinator

or something, they'd be like, you know what, why don't we not have mustache guy there? Why don't we, I think it'd be better, maybe. And no, because shit gets interrupted, you know, you learn in my book,'t we, I think it'd be better if maybe. And no, have because shit gets interrupted. You know, you learn in my book, you know, I say that some of the first times we laughed after Henry died were in dealing with the funeral home guy, the undertaker who helped with Henry and his name was Barry White. And we just couldn't... couldn't, you know. So the laughter and grief go well together and the laughter doesn't mean you're not breathing.

Laughter because of what he remembered, what I remember about him, laughter ends up even when I'm laughing, reminding me of the physical pain Rob because it jostles the physical pain. And so now I can be laughing at whatever's been said to me and it is a reminder my brother's gone. Yeah, and it'll be like that for I don't know how long a while. That's why I didn't want to say, yes, you know, there's sunshine around the corner because they forget, they forget that your beautiful brother died, you know, They remember and then they forget and

fuck them. You don't forget and people will want you to move on and you do that at your own speed and you never really do move on. You weave the stories of your brother and the memories of your brother and the pain. You weave that into your life. You weave that into happier memories to come. And, and how, when why wouldn't you, you know? So it'll hurt. You will love him forever. He'll be your brother forever. How do you communicate with him?

I don't know. I don't know where he is, you know? Uh, but he, but he's somewhere. Oh, but wait, but wait, there's a lot we don't know here, but do you, are you spiritual enough to feel Henry's presence or is it, or are you brooding? And the pain is so big that there's no way that you will believe in anything

that brings you that kind of loss. You will not believe that that can keep existing and reach you because it's gone and it's gone forever and the pain is not. So, my spiritual beliefs are basically that Henry isn't Henry as I know him anymore. This is how I feel. Because I loved him and because I loved him, I don't want him to be in some physical paradise where he's like still him, because that would be boring for me.

Christ, when I die, I wanna get obliterated, not like destroyed, but you know, poured into the big cosmic smoothie where we all mix and mingle and all that. So it's not my job to know where he is or understand where he has, God help us, God, if we could even begin to understand what comes next with these insane minds, these useless swollen frontal lobes filled with f***ing recipes and s***, sp***ing street jokes and sports stats, Jesus.

Like that mind can't communicate with him. Like, don't, don't, don't disrespect sports stats. All right, there you cross the line there. Like, please, there are a part. Yeah. Have some, have some goddamn respect, please. Here, my wife the other day, go says to me, she goes,

because I've, I'm part of my midlife crisis is listening to a lot of steely Dan and reading books about steely Dan etc. and the other day I just had a distant look in my eyes and my wife goes, are you thinking about steely Dan? and I said yeah and she goes there's like a man with a shovel and I can hear him in your mind, shoveling important memories, like our marriage, the birth of our kids, into a furnace to make room for Steely Dan Fun Fact.

And yeah, we both had a good laugh because that is what is happening inside my head right now. But I'm sorry, I interrupted you. You were in the middle of something thoughtful, and again, I can't help but notice this is an old-timey baseball player in the back. Yeah, I mean, look but notice the old timing baseball player in the back. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look, can he communicate with me through like a medium that I give $30 to on a boardwalk at the beach?

I hope not. That would suck for him. You know, yeah, I might want to talk to him in the English language that we used. But for me, I see him, I see him in his mother's eyes, in his brother's, the back of their necks when they're asleep, you know, in the pain that I feel. I woke up the other morning crying from a dream that a doctor was telling me about the circumstances of his death. He Henry died at home, but I had a nightmare that he died in the hospital and a doctor was just telling us what happened, and I woke up sobbing. You know, and you know that in a way that felt good because it's been almost six years since he died. So I felt very grateful that a body, I could be just body slammed by a very painful memory of my son who I should be raising.

He should be eight years old now, you know what I mean? And ride in the bike around too fast and me chasing him saying, watch out for whatever and you know, and are you kidding me with all that candy you ate and come over here and sit on my lap and he's like, I'm eight, I don't want him, I don't care, I had you so that you would sit on my lap, get your ass over here. You know, that's what should be happening. It isn't and that hurts and it should. It should hurt.

So you should be sad as hell right now. It should have a major physical component in acute grief and that's one of the ways right now that you love your brother is through feeling that pain. And yeah, will it dissipate and change in the coming months and years? Yeah, it will. And then it'll come back again. And then it'll go away again. And you know, yeah.

You really peed it out there. I did. Yeah. I was thinking about the mustache. Yeah, I thought you were thinking about Steely Dan. He's the author of a New York Times best seller. It's called a heart that works. It's out now in paperback.

Let's talk about it more long form. I actually haven't talked to you in a minute and I kind of need your help with some of this stuff because I've been isolating. I don't know what you did. I don't know if you kept working. I don't know how you managed what you managed, but I haven't been talking to anybody about this stuff

because it hurts too much and it sounds like you have some wisdom. So thank you, sir. I appreciate your time. Oh, no, it's great. It's great. I'm happy to do it. I will have to pick up some alive kids from school shortly. So I can't talk for two terribly long, but I could call in another time. All right. No, it would be fine. You're leaving. That was very dark. You went through terribly long, but I could call in another time. All right, now it would be fun. You're leaving. That was very dark.

No, no, not now. See you later. Not now, but I mean, like in like five minutes. All right. See you later. Please close with a shot on Billy's face. Just. I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha