The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Most Uncomfortable Moment

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

"What's the worst part of the life?" Billy says Josh Allen has a stupid face and unimpressive size, and Dan lobbies to get a sneak peek at The Secret Cote Family Binder. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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That was excellent. Thank you. You are on fire today. I mean it, man. Chris, what did you repeat to your father moments before we turned the microphones on? And he did that maximum professionally. Right above that line, he just read it says, Billboard, draft Kings. And I thought maybe he was going to read that part out as well.

And so you told him not to read out loud the word Billboard? A little last minute coaching, which I probably shouldn't have done. Just let him cook. No, you should have let him because if he would have read Billboard, it might have led to something funny there. I might have read it had he not told me that. I think you would have. I would have thought Billboard magazine was a sponsor of the show, that's all. I want the inheritance, that's why.

Is there still a Billboard magazine? Oh, yeah. I read it religiously. I follow the charts. What are we looking at in terms of inheritance for Christopher? I don't think we want to go there. That's a good question. I want to.

And what's the split? Do we trust Michael yet? Because at one point, it's like, you're just going to get it all, and you can kind of divvy it up. Oh, wow, you're the responsible, brother? I am the responsible one. Oh, boy. No, Christopher used to be the responsible. Michael's catching up.

Really? Michael's gaining ground on that. Any thoughts on just skipping a generation, maybe leaving its whole Graceland, you know, to trust or something? It'll funnel down. That's being considered. It'll be a heavily protected trust that Christopher can't get his hands on. But, you know, we haven't gone there yet. We're just thinking about it.

It also depends on how nice my granddaughter treats me for the next. few years. It is a little awkward in that because my mom honestly does sometimes like, hey, you know, just will stuff, just in case type stuff. But like I've never met, like, I don't really know as much as I feel like I should know. Like, I feel like if something were to happen to you guys, your money guy could just like take me, take me to the woodshed. Yeah. I know you're always asking for like an itemized. I just want to go to this meeting with you so this guy knows I exist. Like, hey, if something happens to them, I'm the face. I'm your guy. And I know how much. Okay. All right. No funny business. You. Okay. All right. Are you all

up like in I mean obviously it's very morbid we don't mean to go down but like should an accident happen with both you and your wife is that all set up or is Christopher going to have to plan like the ceremonies and all of that uh in other words do we have a living will what is that have you done anything you like do you have

like arrangements you have set sides like does Chris then have to start driving up to like funeral homes and like I'd like to find your best plot for two please you know my wife handles all that okay great all right let me be clear on something here okay he is exactly the person who threatens you all his life with not giving you his inheritance and then doesn't handle the paperwork before dying. So I don't believe he's done anything. I don't

believe he knows anything. I believe his wife has to handle all this. He hasn't done any estate planning. So what's going to happen after he dies is your brother's going to have his middle name and the rest of you are going to fight over what's left. I think what's going to happen is like they're going to pass and then there's going to be like the meeting for the will and no one's going to have remembered the guy's name because no one's met him. So he is going to get everything. He's going to be in an empty room. He's like, Christopher, Michael, Grayson, where is everybody? Anytime I ask about this, my dad kind of is like, what are you trying to?

And I'm like, no, I just want to be informed. You're getting old. Greg, these are the conversations I've been having with my father recently. He does not like them either. But you do have to plan these things if you want to make sure your family isn't fighting over your things at the end. Yeah, yeah. I got to talk to my wife about that. Luckily for us, my mom has started all that.

Okay. But you don't know any of it. I know I have a big binder. Wait, you presently have a binder? Can you bring it in tomorrow? Yeah, I'll bring it in tomorrow. Let's get off the bottom of this. We're not bringing in the binder.

You don't even know what's in there. It's a secret binder. You don't know what's in the binder. A little secret documents. We should have an oral contract. It's one of those binders with like the string thing that you close it up with. It's very important. Sounds like you're getting a lot, man.

It's a dossier. Chris deserves to know. All right. I want to talk about Avery Johnson. and I want to talk about Shador Sanders. But first, we need to get to uncomfortable moments because this is Suey Week, and uncomfortable moments is always a rich category.

And anytime I hear us recording these around here, something funny reminds me that the last year was a lot better than I thought it was. Something funny is about to appear here. We'll see who wins this category. What's the voting situation? Chris, what are we doing in terms of crowning winners because we've been pretty loose over the years on this?

It's the 2025 Sui Awards, presented by Miller Light. To cast your vote, you go to lebitardaf.com and vote there. All the categories will be there as we release the categories. The winners will be announced next Tuesday, September 7th. This is very exciting. Coming out of the gates with a strong category, most uncomfortable moment from this year of shows. Welcome to the 2025 Suey Awards presented by Miller Light. I'm Greg Cody. And let's Let's dive right in with the suey nominees for most uncomfortable moment. Jeremy Tashay talks weird and everyone jumps on his throat.

If you think that your family would get a lot of joy from seeing you go to the Hall of Fame and they're getting up there in age, it's like your parents? Well, because I'm asking a kind of dark question. Right. Do you just sort of a board or something? Let's take a dive early. Everybody just, I don't know what he was doing. I didn't even get to start.

It's amazing. I was struggling to follow what you were doing. I'm kind of happy everyone just started talking. Oh, Hald. It was amazing. It's what it sounded like to me. It's pretty amazing. I know.

All right. Enjoy the rest of the show. I feel bad. I'm sorry. I think this is bullying. This feels like bullying. You deserve it if we're going to be honest. I've never seen that before where some dude is talking doing a thing and everyone else just

like moves on with our lives and has their other conversations. Mike, did we miss it? Like, should he try it again? Honestly, I don't remember what he said. It was so boring. Chris Cody insults Michael S. Schmidt of the New York Times. Show me the most meaningful of the Piazza balls. Oh, boy.

No, they're not the Piazza balls. These are balls of my stepson. Oh, okay. So I misunderstood. Even less interesting. You know what? No, let's show me the best of your stepson's baseballs. This is just

We do batting practice And I throw to him And we track the amount of A balls that he hit Chris, what are you judging his fatherhood? Batting practice balls Do it in a game What are you guys doing?

Why can't he have this relationship with his son Without you judging it He can You're just clarifying That was the point I'm sorry Michael Schmidt Yeah, Michael Jack. For your allergies.

Yes. David Sampson knows too much about Paul Pierce. And a little nugget about Paul Pierce. He likes when you call him Daddy. Okay, I didn't know that point. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm not as good a friend of Paul Pierce as I was like. What is this loon giggling about?

What do you mean? He likes when you call him daddy. What kind of contribution is that? You grinning fool? Are you fucking Paul Pierce, David? David. What? Like, what's that? What are you snorting in the middle of the segment where you're saying that about Paul Pierce? What's matter with you? Answer the man's question. Answer it. Calling someone daddy and making sweet, passionate love are two totally different things. Yes or no? Sometimes I'm a hard. No, I'm that. Put it on the poll. You're hard. Put it on the poll. Is making sweet, passionate love and calling someone daddy different?

Dan Levitard disrespects Black History Month while talking to P.K. Suban. Dan, it's his list and it's Black History Month. So maybe lay off the shit. You know what? It's not talking shit. Thank you very much. Exactly.

Anything goes right now, guys. True ally, Jessica. I appreciate you. Dan, you're out of line. I will not respect Black History Month. What? What? Clip that.

That clutch. You guys clipped me saying, you clipped me saying that much. You clipped me saying that much. That much, you guys didn't even let me get it out. That's a respectful top five, though. You got to respect that top five. It is.

I do, but I don't have to respect it because of Black History Month. Dan Levitard won't stop calling Greg Cody a senile old man. I don't worry about him being exposed as a senile old man if I can put. Quit repeating senile old men. Yeah, what is that? Why do you keep what's going on here? That's terrible. Yeah.

You shouldn't keep doing that. You're right to. But it's absolutely ridiculous. It's unfair. I'm actually offended that that kid in a white hat who's done nothing in his life. I don't know what he did. I don't know what he did.

What did he do before spitting into a microphone? One of the better voices in the hot mediasphere, honestly. But I'm offended that he called me a senile old man, and I don't need you propping up that phrase. Next thing I know it's going to be on a levitar t-shirt. That's the way it works right here. I mean, that's a great idea, and you shouldn't have given us that.

But he's a senile old man. Mike Tyson takes it to a dark place with a kid reporter. Well, in your return to the ring for this fight, you are setting a monumental opportunity for kids my age to see the legend, Mike Tyson, in the ring for the first time. What type of legacy would you like to leave behind when it's all set and done? Well, I don't know. I don't believe in the word legacy.

I think that's another word for ego. That's just some word everybody grabbed on to. Now it's used every five seconds. It means absolutely nothing to me. I'm just passing through. I'm going to die, and it's going to be over. Who cares about a legacy after that? What a big eagent, so I'm going to die.

I want people to think that I'm this. I'm great. No, we're nothing. We're dead. We're dust. We're absolutely nothing. Well, thank you so much for sharing that. That is something that I have not heard before.

Someone say that as an answer. Can you really imagine somebody say, I want my legacy to be this way when I're dead? Do you think somebody really wants to think about you? I want people to think about me when I'm gone. Who the f*** cares about when I'm gone? Ronnie Chang didn't realize Pablo Tori worked with Dan Levitard on Pablo Tori finds out. What I want to keep prodig at, though, is the genuine...

Is this a big thing in the sports journalism subculture? At a company that Dan owns and operates that I work for, it's very much an inter-office. Oh, you work at the same company? I should say that. Oh, I didn't know that. I should have probably disclosed that legally. What, Meadowlock? Yeah, that's right.

Oh, so he works for metal lock? Dan, yeah, he founded it. Oh, he founded this thing? Well, why the fuck am I here then? I was going to say, you probably shouldn't have done this. Yeah, you should have opened with that. I thought this was like your own thing. No, I didn't know that.

That's why you're so interested, I see. Yeah. I said, no, I didn't know that it was the same company. But that goes to the show that's how little, like, I hold grudges about this. You know what I mean? Truly, truly. What I was going to try. Hey, Dan, can we get a new chair?

I know. This is. This is, this is Dan paid for this. Get this on, get this on camera. This is the level. This is where we're at. Yes, the end to this. The jerk off between David Sampson and Darren Ravel. Is this a business off?

Is it a respect off? It's a jerk off. Yeah. Whoa. There's a lot of things this is, and that's not one of them. You're both being jerks to each other. It's a jerk off. It is a jerk off. Yeah.

That was not part of the contract with the airline. Greg Cody, reading, 50 shades of gray. Darn Tootin, only me. You want it, you got it, baby. I growl, shipping out the prophylactic and unzipping my pantaloons, making quick work of covering my doohickey. I stare down at the insatiable misteele.

I sure hope you're ready, I warn her, grabbing hold of her wrists and keeping them at her sides With one swift move, I'm inside her, what you might call it. Ah, goodness me, Anna, you're so ready. I mean, I'm unbelievable. Andrew Hawkins misspeaks. Everybody was wondering. They was wondering, Hawk, when was your era?

It was 2003. That's when I came into myself. Hey, yo, that's crazy. That's wild. Greg Cody's voice does strange things to build. Really? My wife says this is a sexy voice. It really is. I'm hard. Thank you. Wow.

So am I, actually. I don't know why. Dan Levitard ruins the end of the interview with Larry Charles on South Beach Sessions. June 17th is when it's available. Comedy Samurai, 40 years of blood, guts, and laughter. Larry, a pleasure. It's been a pleasure to watch your work. My brother's name is Dan, by the way. Okay, well, there you go. That doesn't mean anything to me, Larry. there's nothing to me but i'm very happy to meet you likewise and i feel like i just ruined everything we just did because of that is my punctuation by insulting you by not caring you have to go

for it's name is dan you have to go for you because you're also right in a way it doesn't matter you know i mean i happened i wanted to share that with you and so i shared well you wanted to share it and then i just rejected it i totally just ruined everything at the end we it was intimate It was vulnerable. It was a lovely conversation. And I'm like, I don't care about your fucking brother, Dan. No, leave it in. I insist you leave it in. The more awkward, the better.

Dan Patrick welcomes the Dan Lebitard show into the Peacock family. Well, if you think our show is bad, wait until you get a load of this show. It's the Dan Lebitard show with Stugantz, and you can see it right after our show on Peacock. Boy, is it good. Early 20th. Edthles? You're not going to come up. Our name was actually.

Dan Levitard joins us now, I believe. Yeah, put it on the poll at Levitard show. Are we still making F-D-A-N, Dan, Dan. Did we ever? And put that on. Did we ever, did we, well, we did make Merman. We made Ethel Merman. But she wasn't even an Ethel.

Dan, she was. There was another one that was Vivian. Hey, Dan, Dan. Yes, sir. Yeah, it's Dan Patrick here. Sorry we interrupted you. Professional, as always, Dan. Once again, I led in with the tagline, I think,

for your show. If you think our show is bad, wait until you get a load of Dan Levitard's show with Stu Gantz. What do you think? What kind of intro is that? You're supposed to welcome me into the family. I did until I couldn't get your attention. I was going to say nice things. I've got a bad executive producer. Okay. Join the club. Oh, Dan Levitard asks NASCAR driver Ryan Blaney, what is the worst part of the life? What is the worst part of the life? the worst part

uh wrecking that sucks that's a good answer that sucks like that's the worst thing ever um

poppy levitard translates Spanish music lyrics I will let your hair loose I'll let your hair loose I'll take off your shirt off

your pantalone oh you're also your panties not your panties not your panties it's a two-for-one there Dano come on it's a two-for-one by that long they were not your panties dad

they were slacks they were slacks I'll take off your slacks Dan Levitard tries to give away a gift from a co-worker because we get a lot of stuff sent to us like DeMar de Rosen socks I get in today

and on my desk is the baseball cap I am presently wearing and I did not recognize it. And so I walked out into the other room and I just asked, does anybody want this? And I'm standing right next to Izzy. And with a nice comedic pause, Izzy says, that was my Christmas gift to you. The best part was you didn't just say, what is this? You said, who wants this? Right. It was like, not only were you curious about it.

I need to get this out of, give this away. And now he's overcompensating by wearing the hat that he was trying to give away before the show. I mean. Classic guilt hat. How is that going to stay on? And aware for a month now. I mean, it looks great on you. Sliming.

Not so much. Stugats calls Texas A&M head coach Mike Elko ugly. You know, you might win the game, but you're not going to win best-looking coach, okay? Like, you know that, right? What are you talking about? What is that question? The guy across the size is right from you.

The guy who grows to sign up, Mike. I thought that competition was still wide open. I happen to find Coach Elko to be very attractive. I'm very attractive, man. I do, too. But Marcus Freeman is the best-looking person I've ever seen, period. All right, now this is getting really uncomfortable. Don't worry, Coach.

Coach Freeman can blow an easy game. We've seen that over the years. Dominique Foxworth starts the Keenan Thompson interview with a spicy question. Keenan Thompson is here to join us. Thank you, sir. What's good with y'all? Good morning. Chillin, chilling, chilling.

We're having a good time. I wanted to start with you with Morgan Wallen. I saw him walk off the set. Who did he call the N-word and why didn't you punch him? What happens when Dan ain't on the show? This is just anything goes, man. So I'll be clear with you, Keenan. I had an interview earlier where I interviewed Steve Williams, Tiger's former Caddy,

and I did an awful thing. I asked him poor questions, and then I moved my microphone while he was answered a question, and I hit this button. While he was answering a question, it was a complete mistake. So I'm reeling right now, Keenan. I'm reeling. And I'm like, you know what? I got a big star coming up at Keenan Thompson.

I'm about to have a hell of an interview. I'm going to start it off with a spicy question. That's right. That's mad spicy. To answer your question, I don't know. You know, it's how he's feeling, I guess. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't even realize.

I don't know if he realized what he was doing. Jared Payton tells the story of Dan Lebitard not recognizing him. And the next thing you know, I'm watching you walk towards me. And I'm going, took me back to Coral Gables 305. I'm just like, holy cow, Stan Levittar walking towards me. And he definitely, he knows who I am. Like, he has to. He watched me grow up, you know, as a kid, breast-smelling like Simulac in Miami and Coral Gables.

I'm like, he knows me. Like, and when you walked up to be so gentle, you're like, sir, do you know where I can find a bathroom? And it was that moment where I was like, oh, man, Dan, he doesn't know who I am. He has no clue. He don't know me. Maybe, you know, maybe I've grown up a little bit. Maybe he didn't have to fake diamond studs in my ear from when I was in Miami.

Maybe I don't know what it is. And I didn't know what to say to you, Dan, but I go, you know what, sir, just to let you know, I don't work here, and you go, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. I said, this is going to make it even more awkward. I'm Jared Payton. You're like, oh, my gosh, doing exactly what you're doing right now. You, it was like you saw a ghost when I told you this. Racist.

Millie Gill has a spicy question for Ohio State quarterback Kyle McCord on God bless football. Billy, you're going to love this because it's my understanding. understanding that Kyle has a flavored potato chip? Is that, is that accurate, Kyle? You do. You have a flavored potato chip, don't you? Yeah. What's the flavor?

What does Kyle taste like? Wow, Billy. Wow. Oh, man. It's like a sharp cheddar honey barbecue. Oh, that sounds good. Nice. Yeah, I know.

It's legit. David Sampson's strange admission to start his interview. The great. David Samson's in the building. What up, David? How are you? I wish I were in the building. Sadly, I'm just on a little square,

but my voice is strong and my bottom is fresh. Okay. There we go. Love that you got her from. Flea flicker. Every first down. That's how we start.

Oh, I love you, man. a loaded category. How many categories do we have this year? I heard Greg Cody in here taping all of the voiceovers for this. He was exhausted, but honored. Honored to be the longtime voice of the Sueys. Who would you guys nominate there for your discomforts? Which one made you the most squeamish? Billy brought it strong at the end there. I was pretty awkward with that writer about his stepson's batting practice balls. I forgot all about that one. That one was hard to relive. That was good.

That one and Kenan Thompson were very difficult. You were wincing. You were cringing. You were hiding from the microphone. You were retreating. You can't just let the guy say his brother's name is Dan. Yeah. Like in that spot.

You did well there. That wasn't awkward. That was actually polished. What's the worst part of the life is still like that's the number one hit on the billboard charts? It might not win, but it's the most popular one. It's for sure. It's really good. Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan, and just in time for football season,

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Again, create an account and redeem code D-A-N for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go. Download the GameTime app today. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626-horsepower twin-turbo V8 engine, the Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar Rally, the ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca.

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For more info, visit bemo.com slash eclipse. Visit us today. conditions apply. Don Lebertard. Billy, somebody is written in here. I need way more. I'm sorry. I just said in his headset, haven't you been to all of them too? It sounded like you were speaking aloud. My bad. Totally on me. That's 100% on me. Stugats. But that goes without saying. That it couldn't have. Well, now he said. He didn't. He didn't say.

Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, why? Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg. He apologized, I mean, sincerely. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. All right, we've got a number of different things that I have wanted to get to. I still haven't fully discussed this Avery Johnson story. The father and the other son have released a joint statement to On3.com. sincerely apologize for our actions following yesterday's football game in Ireland. Senseless bickering escalated into an unnecessary fight. Mark and Anthony wrote in the statement, we have resolved our differences and take full responsibility for our actions.

We have apologized to our immediate and extended family and now extend our apologies to Kansas State University, its alumni and fans. I will say that as a symbol, the free-for-all that college sports has become the father and a son fighting in the parking lot as the college quarterback is playing inside or afterward, the AA Eunice of it all, the high school meets college and now there's a lot of money. So you're not only going to get it there, you're going to get Halliburton's dad involved in the games in the NBA finals. Some of this family stuff is just going to leak into our lives here because of some of the things that you invite near your huddle with the business of all this. Ireland. Ireland. That seems like Ireland. Down to the, oh, we're good,

wrapping your arms around one another after saying we probably got too far out ahead of ourselves there. That was not a good look. We're like two months away from Thanksgiving. Like that's going to be weird. Like you just come, like, we talked it out. We're good now. And you just forget that you were punching each other in a puddle in Ireland. How old does a kid have to be a kid guy?

I don't know. Is this like a grown adult son? Because that's the part. Like, is there a line here of like, where's the line? How old does the kid have to be for this not to be on the other side of the line? How old is he, and let's, if we can for just a moment, examine this, because you guys say, what is Thanksgiving going to be like? My guess is that might be capable of happening during Thanksgiving or in a previous Thanksgiving, because I'm guessing we didn't catch him the first

time it's happened. Like, do you guys think that that's their relationship? I understand saying it's Ireland, but once it escalates to that, trust me when I say that if it escalated to that with my father in some form, we wouldn't just go back to normal. Like, This has to be at least something close to normal. It may be drinking involved, but that's fuel. That's not... This is an older brother. That makes it a little better for me.

It's still not good. I mean, come on. As opposed to being a 14-year-old, like, you know, this is better. This is not good. I'm not saying it's good. I'm just saying better that he's an older brother than a younger brother. It would be a wild place. If it was a younger brother, that's his borderline.

Honestly, he should have won the fight. Like, looking at the two of them, I couldn't believe that the pops was beating the crap out of him in that puddle. Like, he should have been winning that fight. It was a bad look. They say that this is behind them. This is probably an unpopular thing. Shouldn't be endorsing this or putting it out there? He's got to get a shot at his dad.

Like, he's got to stand up for himself and, you know, not have that be the lasting legacy as him, you know, in a puddle getting beat by his father. He needs to, like, he needs to have a new fight video where he's beating his father. This becomes sadder, the older you make, the older brother. Yes.

Chris, how, well, but how old are the father and the son here having this particular interaction because Mike you think i'm making some sort of a leap in saying with everything that's changing in college sports that makes it so that nick Saban can't exist today somebody who's just lording over the program with all of the control and there are punitive measures that will not allow you to transfer you and your family to another million dollar economy you don't think that if i put all of that the business of that around John Morant or Halliburton or a college quarterback or if I'm inviting family economies to our star player now makes $3 million a year, you don't think that I'm bringing a level of

professionalism that's going to get undercut by the young people and the economics that have no rules around college football right now that anyone can follow. No, Ireland. What does this have to do with the business of college football? A dad and an older brother can fight and it be a faithful. family squabble anywhere and has nothing to do with NIL of the business of college football. I would say it has more to do with Ireland. It can stand alone as being Ireland, or it could be a hell of an introduction to this series.

Again, another season of just wonderful lawlessness in college football. It could be certainly an image that you attach to the lawlessness of college football. I think college football right now would try to argue that we actually have laws in place. I think that taking the opportunity to lump this in with, NIL in the business of college football. The reason I'm doing it is because college football started this weekend, and I'm not talking about the game. And I don't think people are either.

It's like, yeah, great, college football is here. Don't expect either of those teams to contend for anything meaningful. And also, here's the one story I'm taking from that game, the one that can take me through to another college football when I can talk about all the shit that excites me that's entertainment around college football that isn't actually college football. When have you ever seen that? You're right to talk about it. When have we ever seen the star quarterback's dad fight?

with a brother in a puddle. I've never seen that before in my life. I love it as a symbol. College football for me hasn't started yet. There was a pretty good game last night, or Saturday night. Nobody cares who won. College football starts next weekend with two mega game Saturday and a mega game Sunday night in Miami Gardens. As far as this fight goes, I think the age of the father and son is all that matters. Because if you have a 30-year-old son fighting a 52-year-old dad nobody's worried about that. 52 and 25 is my greatest guess.

I don't know for sure, Dan. It's not on the internet, but I'm just... If that's the case, I think it's a fair fight, so to speak. Fair fight? But, no, but... So if me and you get into it, it's just... That can happen. No, because I'm 70. If you fight me, nobody's on your side. Right. You're picking on an old guy.

It's hard. There's no bios attached for the family involved, but we know that Avery Johnson's older brother and Avery Johnson is 20. I'm guessing 23, and the dad, early 50s. Okay, that's fair. That's a fair fight. Yeah, that's a fair fight.

53, you're not old yet. You know, you're still feeling it. You guys have a different dad situation than I do. If you're thinking that any of that is okay, normal, something that is normal inside of a family, like that would happen once in my family and never again. You have to know who instigated it, right? You have to know the cause of this.

Because if I get into a physical fight with my son, and I think he started it, or he's at fault, if I don't get an apology from him, then it may fester. Then it may still be going on at Thanksgiving. Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days, delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost?

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Don Lebertard He called me on my own podcast He called me full of shit claiming that I'm faking interest in the solar eclipse And I do do this You love to just get excited about everything Okay, junior Stugats

I had to school you and explain to you He was going to take you to Augusta When I was 17 years old Alan Sherry and I used to haunt the Bueller Planetarium. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. It may be irresponsible, but that's a hell of a time to ever have your first physical altercation with everyone from Kansas State around you. I want to interview them. want to join statement. I want to ask about

the family dynamics. I've got a lot of follow-up questions here. All right, let's work on that. I'm sure they're in the mood to talk. What if you only get one? You need both? Can we get Iowa State? Can we get Rocco Beck, the Iowa State quarterback, to fight his dad, Anthony Becked, former NFL player?

That'd be cool. They are committed to ensuring this doesn't happen again. Wow, commitment. How about that? Okay, but I've got some follow-up questions. We'll move on. Puddle placements, unfortunate. You'd agree? Yeah. Yeah, showy. The Cleveland Brown's quarterback situation, it is laughably funny that a couple of weeks ago they just sort of announced, yeah, Joe Flacko is our starter. That gives you no hope right off the start. He's going to have a couple of good games. He's going to have a couple of games where he throws four interceptions.

And that can't be your starting quarterback in today's league. That has to be somebody who comes off your bench for four or five games. Regardless. Warren Sharp has these stats, the final preseason stats for Shadour Sanders. Three completions, 2.3 yards per attempt, a net of minus 27 yards on 11 dropbacks, and five sacks. And the context he adds here is that he has nine years of play-by-play preseason stats, and Shadur Sanders is the only quarterback to take five plus sacks on fewer than 15 dropbacks in any preseason game. I've told you that I do very bad quarterback analysis. I get it wrong all the time because I find kind of puzzling how these people do the science of measuring whether these people have a future at the position that if developed over years can make it so that they can play that game, which is unbelievably fast and violent in the most decisive way. Having seen Shador Sanders in the way he plays quarterback, rolling around out there.

if you don't have the athleticism of Lamar Jackson doesn't work. It makes you take a ton of sacks in college. And the whole game now is how fast do you make the decisions? When you mentioned Tua before, it's the fastest it's ever been done. Dan Marino was special because it was all quick release. People couldn't believe speed and accuracy on how fast it got out. Because if you can buy a second more of time, you can be Josh Allen, Lamar Jackson, MVP of the league. but if you're not as athletic as them

and you try to play the position that way you're going to look like old Teddy Bridgewater where anytime you're outside of the pocket nobody wants you outside of the pocket you're not going to extend plays with his athleticism and the pros and those numbers are damning like I don't know what Cleveland could possibly see that would tell me that that is a professional

quarterback based on the sample size you just saw there of doesn't make the decisions quickly enough I think it's very fair to say Shador Sanders needs to prove himself in this league I don't think that's disrespect. And I also think the rest of the NFL right now is thinking to itself, you know what?

Maybe we weren't that stupid to wait and wait and wait and wait and draft him in the third day of the draft. The fact that Joe Flacko was named the starter fairly quick simply indicates to me that Shador Sanders ain't ready and we all see it and it's without dispute. It doesn't mean he won't turn out to be a very good quarterback. But right now, he needs time and they're not rushing him. They're doing the smart thing, though.

The worst thing they could do is Cleveland starts off 0 and 4 and Shador Sanders stinks, and all of a sudden everybody dislikes him instead of waiting for him as the hero that's about to happen. Those numbers I just gave you, though, they're pretty damning on decision-making, on the skill that you're being asked to have right now that is the most important. We've seen a sea change at the position. People are expecting J.J. McCarthy to be good. my entire life. The quarterback never comes in and is immediately good, or he's one of the really special ones. He's Cam Newton throwing for 400 yards his first game out. The quarterback in my lifetime.

Now, this is something new now because all of a sudden, Herbert and Tua don't wait. It's not about Aaron Rogers stays on the bench for a couple of years. It's Bryce Young, get in there in eight games, and we'll think you're close to done if Andy Dalton doesn't get into a car accident. You might be on another team right now because the windows now to measure these people are what? Eight games? Eight, like, legitimately, because of what they've done with the economy of you can get out from under a bad contract now. You don't have to sit there with Ryan Lee for two or three years trying to figure it out. What do you do with Shador Sanders is there as your quarterback, but your team has no hope, none.

He's not going to be any good. They're not going to be any good. If you're not patient with your rookie quarterback, you have a systemic problem, particularly a rookie quarterback drafted in the round he was drafted. you have to go in knowing this is not going to be magic right away. We're going to have to wait a little bit. The problem is he's gone to a bad team. If he's playing behind Philadelphia's offensive line, he's not sacked five times. He's playing behind a bad offensive line.

He might be. He gets sacked a ton. That's an excellent point. In Colorado, he never got blamed for it. They always put it on the offensive line and the dynamic there kind of protected him. But we know how he played in Colorado. He would hold on to the ball a really, really long time over there. Kevin Clark was on part of my take a few weeks ago, and he kind of theorized how Kame Ward held on to the ball a little bit when he finally had a good offensive line.

It was the opposite when he was at Wazoo. But you have quarterbacks that are entering the league now that aren't necessarily from the school of get it out as quickly as possible. Usually the sport beats it out of you, but in high school, the hitting rules have changed. This is really the first generation that has gone through all levels of football, not really being punished physically for holding all in the ball too long, so you might see it more and it might take time to get it beat out of you.

The thing that people do not realize whenever they stand next to Peyton Manning or Tom Brady or Ben Rothesburgers, holy shit, that person's big, right? So now make it Lamar Jackson or Josh Allen where someone galloping around and he's more athletic than everyone else and he has the most valuable of gifts

in the salary cap. It's the most valuable gift. Don't kind of need my running back and also I can extend plays. Does not matter whether my offensive linemen actually does his job. Patrick Mahomes doesn't even have that as much anymore. He'll run for eight yards on third and seven,

but what they've done to his body already grinds that out of you. If you're not, I imagine, Billy, you stood next to Josh Allen. Was the size of him not something that sort of left you in the shade? I thought he was going to be bigger. I mean, I'm not saying that as like an insult. I was, coming off as insulting. It's not meant that way. Billy's tall, though.

We took a picture next time. He's like two or three inches taller than me. I thought I was surprised. Like, I've seen Joe Burrow in person. Joe Burrow looks like an Adonis. So he's not that big, and he's got a stupid face. Is your appraisal of the top of the AFC East? No, I didn't say either of those things.

No, I did not say those things. At certain points, you said both those things. Just not together at the same time. I did say both of those things. Stupid face and not that big. I was surprised. Not impressive physically. Should have been bigger, honestly.

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