The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Roy...Big Cruise Guy

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

Jessica is enjoying her Pittsburgh Steelers being featured on Hard Knocks alongside all of their rivals in the AFC North. We break down how this season of Hard Knocks has been playing out and whether or not the show should be taking place during the season. Then, there's something about Roy that delights Billy and it leads us to a discussion about Roy's recent cruise vacation. The only thing is...he doesn't know where the cruise went. We dig deeper to find out if he actually knows anything that took place on this cruise and if he did anything besides sit on the balcony and look at the water. Plus, Billy is amazing at gambling on football, clowns as masseuses, and we go into the way-back machine for a Stugotz 30 for 30. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. BetterHelp online therapy connects you with a qualified therapist via phone, video, or live chat. It's convenient and affordable and can be done from the comfort of your own home. Having someone to talk to is truly a gift, especially during the holidays. Visit BetterHelp.com to learn more and save 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com. Hamburglar, why are you calling? Rubble, rubble. McDonald's has a new biggest burger called Big Arch,

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The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Hey guys, download the Game Time app, create an account and use code DAN, S-D-A-N. For $20 off, your first personage terms apply. Download Game Time today. What time is it? Game Time app created an account and used code dan, S-D-A-N. For $20 off, your first percentage terms apply. Download Game Time today. What time is it? Game Time? Game Time. If you were a thief, and I told you that you lived very close

to where Joe Burrow was, and the television suggested that he was out of town, busy at a game against the Dallas Cowboys, that seems like a pretty good house to rob. I don't know if he's always got security around his house, but if you've recently read reports that he bought a three million dollar Batmobile, that seems like a pretty good house to rob if you know that he's in Dallas and not home. I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often. Well, it has been. That's why this is a story making headlines. You make it seem like it's a coincidence

that a burglar happened to be near Joe Burroughs' house, but the NFL and NBA PA have apparently sent out memos to players over the last few months about a string of high profile burglaries that have happened while players are at games. It just happened to Kelsey and Patrick Mahomes, I believe. Mm-hmm, exactly. Bling-Bling.

If you guys can read about Anton Jamison, I remember talking to him many years ago about his security system at home and how often he would circle his neighborhood to make sure he was not being followed. Because yeah, if people know you have money and know where you are at all times, there are ways to take your money.

But what are the details on Joe Burrow? Like what was stolen from his home? Because the other thing is, right, single athletes, if you're not married and there's not family, you're a single person and you're very wealthy, you're more likely to have an empty home, are you not? It wasn't empty. There was a swimsuit model. Yeah, there was someone. Yeah, there was someone. Also, like if you are- That's the way I empty home, are you not? It wasn't empty. There was a swimsuit model.

Yeah, there was someone. Yeah. Also, like if you are- That's the way I always imagine it. If you are married, wouldn't your partner be at the game that you're playing in anyways? So I don't, I don't understand. You're just reckless.

I didn't assume- You think that Joe Burrow goes to work and his hypothetical wife's like, I'm gonna stay home. I'll stay home and watch the house. I'm reckless by assuming that Joe Burrow goes to work and his hypothetical wife's like, I'm gonna stay home. I'll stay home and watch the house. I'm reckless by assuming that Joe Burrow doesn't have a swimsuit model at home. That's what you're saying, I'm being reckless. No, you're reckless for saying that a married person,

their spouse would stay home while they're playing. I'm talking about just family in general. There is more likely than a single person. Am I wrong about that? There might be family at home more likely than more likely than a single person, am I wrong about that? There might be family at home more likely than if there were a single person? It is okay for Dan to think that when Joe Burrow leaves the home, he's leaving his home empty.

It's okay, I'm with you on that. Yes, he's not married. I mean. What is the relevance of being married and leaving your home solo? I was David, I don't understand the distinction. It's very well documented that like family members

go to football games. I just assume that if a family lived in a home or a single person lived in a home, just probability by the numbers who live in the home, it's more likely that someone will be there if I'm choosing a home that has nine

people in it than if it has one person in it. Well, now you're saying nine people. You're just saying I'm making it a family. The whole family is going to the game, Dan. that has nine people in it than if it has one person in it. Well now you're saying nine people, you're completely moving, you're completely moving the goals of this family. The whole family's going to the game now. Now we're talking about my family.

My Patrick's family was always in the game. We're not talking about Philip Rivers. We're talking about maybe a wife and two kids. They're probably all in the game. I'm not even gonna go Hispanic stereotype. I was actually doing Manny Ramirez in my neighborhood. He had nine people there. I think that there is more off,

there's less times at Joe Burroughs' home alone than you'd expect. Well clearly, there was a swimsuit model there. I guess I'm supposed to be surprised there was only one. Well no, that's an employee of his. So that's the other little nugget about this, that it wasn't family or a girlfriend. Apparently, and we need to get some better info

because I love to recklessly speculate about this situation, but I won't, a swimsuit model, not a girlfriend, not a family member, but in his home during a game. Do we have a thought? Was she hired to do that? Is she being paid? And if she's being paid, to do what exactly? You have a lot of questions.

I just wanna know why his house was burgled, how it was burgled, and how many other burglaries there are happening. Potential inside job? What do you think? I'm just saying that Joe Burrow is not aware of what was stolen yet. So he couldn't even tell us because he had to go home first

and take a look. Why couldn't he call the swimsuit model and say, can we FaceTime? Apparently she called 911 and no? She called her mom, her mom called 911. That's right, she called her mom. I didn't read that. I feel like I, if you're not sure if you're being robbed,

you probably would call someone first and be like, should I call 911? Personally, I would just call 911. Immediately. But I could see being like, I don't know what to do. Maybe I'm hearing things, can you talk me through this? Actually, what I read is that there was broken glass. Yes, a shattered window.

That's 9-1-1 time, not mommy time. Can you guys tell me why it is that Jessica is the only one amongst us watching Hard Knocks? I remember a time, a glorious time in the history of hard knocks where football fans were so enthusiastic about getting just a little bit of access that it would be operatic when hard knocks would arrive with your team. Teams would object, I don't want my privacy invaded like that and football would grow giving you a really packaged product

about the insides of your team. None of the teams wanted to do it. Fans loved the access of it. Why is Jessica the only one around here who cares at all about watching what I'd assume would be interesting hard knocks? I can only speak for myself, of course, but hard knocks was something that got me excited

for the football season. Once I'm inside the football season, I don't need hard knocks was something that got me excited for the football season. Once I'm inside the football season, I don't need hard knocks anymore. I'm already excited. Like football's here. I'm in the midst of it. I'm in the middle of it. And so I think hard knocks, they're doing too many to be honest. It's also, yeah, it's the third hard knock since like June. Right. And our viewing habits have changed. Like I'll watch hard knocks when I can watch like four of them back to back. You guys are wrong. It's because the Steelers are in it

and they're winning a lot of games. That's the only reason I'm watching it and it's awesome. Tomlin looks great. The team is fun. I'm enjoying every second of it. It has been delightful last two episodes and you know who hasn't been in it? The Ravens have barely been in this season

because they were on a bye week and then they played the Eagles the first week so there wasn't a lot because it wasn't a divisional game. So I have to watch the Ravens. I'm just watching Steelers, and I'm injecting it straight into my veins every Tuesday night. What is the turnaround, the editing time,

because this is pretty different than the franchise, what they did with baseball. Are they filming and then releasing within a week? Within a day. The Monday night game was part of this week's episode. The Bengals-Cowboys game. They must be working three shifts. Well, what they're doing is really ambitious in the content age is everyone has seen what access

gets you nowadays the fact that they're mass producing hard knocks while brian gumbel goes off the air after twenty nine years a suspicious number if he was getting his own way i don't think that twenty nine years that the way that brian gumbel's career should be. I think it should get, he should get. Not a round number, I mean. He should get the 30 that he might probably want as opposed to the 29, but costs are being cut everywhere except around football.

That business is booming everywhere and the content football business, whether Stugac you're in on hard knocks or not, a winner with the mythology coach who has 18 straight winning seasons and none of us understand how he's winning with the discard that Sean Payton couldn't do anything with in Denver and didn't have a quarterback last year so how did he fix it he went and got two and now he never loses and he's a leader of men but I don't trust him to win in the playoff because I don't think

his team is quite good enough even though his defense clearly is his defense is clearly good enough for Jessica to be eating that up on hard knocks because she's getting What is close to the most unprecedented? Inside access to Steelers football you've ever had correct. I mean, I just I can't believe the Steelers There were videos where it did not look like Mike Tomlin wanted to be a part of it. He was like, get this Mike off me, like behind the scenes videos. But he's doing the interviews and he's sitting down and talking to the cameras. I think maybe secretly deep down he likes it. But yeah, it is strange to see the Steelers on Hard Knocks because they are a team that

you would never ever ever expect to be on training camp Hard Knocks because they always are in the playoffs and they're always winning games and they're a Team that like the Giants there. They don't want the cameras in the building now The Giants eventually relented with their offseason hard knocks season Which I think there's been some criticisms of now, especially the way their season has gone But I actually really like that show too. The only hard knocks I haven't liked this year is the Bears one because it was so boring It was just dry and just my there was nothing no one is consuming hard knocks around here. Like you are that's true

They he got me with the beard for a minute. I was like he's gonna make it through the season I was wrong without the beard. I don't think he even makes it to week four I think the beard got him to Thanksgiving. But I thought the beard would get him to January. I didn't. I want to play again today the game that we started yesterday with is he human? But I also want to ask questions of a colleague here

because I don't know if some of us know something about Roy that seems to really delight Billy. I don't know if the rest of us, I don't know what you guys imagine when Roy goes on vacation. I told Roy, I'm like, it's an odd time to go on vacation in December.

And he's like, yes, it's part of Princess Claire's birthday week celebration. And then I learned something that I did not know. And I did not have on my bingo card as someone who thought he knew Roy. Billy is delighted to learn that Roy is a big cruise guy. Big cruise guy Roy. Get out of here.

Yeah. The three dayer? It was from Thursday to Monday morning. Oh wow. Four-dayer. Wow. Longer one. That's fun. I came in and Roy was on vacation.

I was like, he was? Because scheduling here, sometimes I don't see people for like two weeks and I just assume it was the scheduling. So I didn't know where Roy was. So Roy was like, I was on vacation. I was on a cruise and I was like, oh cool, awesome. Where'd you go? He goes, I don't know.

And I'm like, how is that even possible? He's like, got on the boat, they told me to go on the boat, I got on the boat, rode the boat around, I don't know where we got off. Well, now Roy said boat. Well, it's interchangeable. No, no. What do you mean no?

Two different words, boat and ship are two different words. All right, fine, fine. The vessel, how about that? Is that better? Well, I was excited because the happiest I've ever seen Roy was when we were in the Bahamas together. When we went there, there was like a 790 event at the Atlantis in the Bahamas.

And me and Roy were roomies. Yes. Yeah, so we were there. It's the only time I've ever seen Roy wearing shorts. We went on the lazy river together. We went on the lazy river with Roy. Oh, Roy loved it. He was so good on the lazy river.

No one lets the lazy river take you with a lazy river- Tasia better than Roy Yeah, I mean it's fantastic that we had like a weird situation where we were like there was like the Cove or whatever like The VIP section and that's where we saw who is that we saw there the from the Falcons who Leo Jones Julio Jones I was spying on him. Yeah, we're spying on who they're just It was so strange. It was a really strange, honestly, like 24 hours. Because me and Roy were excluded from the trip,

but then we were brought along. So we flew out, and then we flew back out the next day. We were in a room. We shared the room together. We weren't supposed to be in the cove, but it was one of those things of act like you belong. And we had a key, then we just flashed him someone else's room key.

But that's not how you're supposed to get in there. It's like a private situation. So then Roy got caught because he didn't play it cool enough. And then there was like this whole hubbub that was caused and it became a principle thing. So Dan had to add Roy to Dan's room at a cost. And by the way, there was like two hours of sunlight left. So I don't think Roy ever ended up going to the cove,

but it just became a thing with a security guard not letting Roy in. It was a whole thing. The point is, it's the happiest I've ever seen Roy and I saw him in shorts, so I figured Cruz Roy was the same thing, so I was asking all these great details of like, where'd you go, how was it, how was the cruise, how'd you go, who'd you go with, he's like, I don't know.

For everything, he didn't know anything about this cruise. Did you ask him about the drink package? No, I'm dry right now, so no drink package for me. Thank you. That's a harder way to do the cruise. Wow. It sure is. It's also rough waters now. A December cruise in the Caribbean is not fun.

Oh yeah, it was very choppy. Very choppy. The boat was definitely rocking. You should have come to me before Claire was born. I could have told you when to have her be born and then you know when to do the birthday cruise. I wish I did. I wish I did.

Good point. Like right before? Yeah. Like 10 seconds before? No, like a nine month notice. Like not a good time what do you guys imagine cruise ship Roy is is he like is he playing any of the games is he well he's not drinking so that's a bad start is he gambling is he

doing the buffet is he hitting the buffet extra hard like what do you is he is he whirlpooling it like what are you imagining cruise ship Roy is? Well here's the problem, we can only imagine, right? Cause like we've gotten to the point that he wants to give us so few details he won't even tell us where the cruise went and pretends as though he doesn't know where the stops were. Oh I don't think he knows.

I think he never got off the boat. He wasn't that interested in whatever it was. Eight hours in the Bahamas and he's like I just stayed on the ship. I think when you go on a cruise the cruise ship is your destination. I mean, I never get off the cruise ship. No there's you go on a cruise, the cruise ship is your destination. I mean, I never get off the cruise ship, ever. Roy, did you get off the cruise ship?

I did. Apparently, yeah, it was an island, it was a city called Labadee. Haiti, you went to Haiti. Okay. Well, how about that? Labadee, yeah. Okay, we went to Haiti.

No idea where he gets on a ship with no idea where he's going. You have to take a passport. You don't know where he's going. Yeah, I had a passport. Yeah, I had no, listen, my family a trip, and I walked on the boat. That's pretty much it. So you followed. All you did was follow.

Your vacation was to follow your wife and child to parts unknown on a ship you're still calling a boat. You know nothing about what you just did. You went and saw the world and returned with no knowledge. That's right. That's exactly what I did. Well, no, he could tell us how great a place of the world was, and we're like You went and saw the world and returned with no knowledge. That's right. Well, no, he could tell us how great a place of the world was, and we're like, what place of the world? He's like, I don't know.

A place my ship took me. A whole bunch of Taurus. What if you were taken, you had one call, you call me, you're like, Billy, I've been taken. Come find me. I'm like, where are you? You're like, cruise ship. You have him using his call on you?

I could find him. Drop a pin. It's not hard anymore. I already found the cruise itinerary. Wow. It looks like a nice four day. You're one day at sea, one day at Lobbity, and then one day at sea, and then you come back, right?

Yes, that's what happened, yeah. Little shuffleboard. You know about this more than I do. Royal Caribbean. Can you give me some information on some of the activities that Roy did or didn't partake in? Roy, do you have a little hat with a solo umbrella just for your head on top?

No, I did see a captain's hat in the gift shop that I wanted to get, but he didn't want me to buy his own. Well, and that's the way the trip is, you saw a hat. Yeah, he saw a hat, that's it. The highlight of Roy's trip is he saw a hat, he was not allowed to buy, he looked at it with great longing, and then he went and had a sad piece of cruise ship pizza.

What about the night time events? There's entertainment every night. He wasn't drinking. Did none of it? You didn't go to his shows? Roy was the entertainment. Roy, what were you doing on this cruise ship? Did you host a live podcast for everyone

to talk about the Panthers? That would have been awesome. That would have been awesome, but I did not, no. Did Dorko? No, he did not. He was working. Dorko. On the cruise with you. No, no.

This sounds terrible. Well, it wasn't terrible. I mean, I spent a majority of the time sitting on the balcony watching water. Oh, you had a balcony, all right. Yeah, I had a balcony. So it was very relaxing. Did you get one of the animals made out of the towel

or whatever in your room? Yes, I did. I think we got two. Oh, which animal? We got two of them. What was it? I didn't really look at it. Claire had it most of the time, but I didn't really look at it.

It's like an elephant. No, it may have been a rabbit. This is impossible. It may have been a rabbit. How do you not remember? It was like four nights ago. Did you get hit in the head? Because I'm old, that's why I'm getting old.

I'm starting to forget stuff. You're not that old. I'm not that young. That's not true. Roy, it is breathtaking that you just returned from a vacation from which you have no remembered details. You were sober the whole time. You don't know what city you went to,

you just saw a vast sprawling ocean, which looks the same in every direction. Very peaceful though, very peaceful. I believe that I have tracked down the ship that he was on, because I found a ship with this itinerary. Did you go on the Flow Rider on the back of the ship? No. The simulated like surfing thing, you didn't do that?

No, I did not. Okay, did you go to Splashway Bay? Claire went to Splashway Bay. Okay, great. Did you do the rock wall? No, Adi did the rock wall. Okay, you didn't watch Grease, obviously, which is performed on this ship?

Hell no, absolutely not. Did you do anything? What did you do while they were doing this? I was watching Claire to make sure she didn't get kidnapped, that's one. Good dad. And they can only take you so many places in the middle of the ocean.

Yeah, that's true, and in the buffet. All right. Did you overeat? I did. Did you go to the casino? Put it on the poll, please. I stopped by, but I didn't play. You walked through.

At Levitard show lost do you overeat on the cruise ship buffet does everyone overeat on the cruise ship buffet what you've just described Roy is you go from the furnace of whatever it is that working for this place has been and you go toward the ocean and you sit on a balcony and you unplug your cord from the wall and you power down for four days staring at the ocean. I guarantee you if I look he was tweeting. Absolutely.

You got the internet package. I got the internet package. He didn't unwind whatsoever. No, I checked the phone from time to time. Did you go on the water slides? No, Claire did. You were watching hockey the entire time you were in the room, were you not?

I wish I was watching hockey. I wasn't able to watch any, I watched a Dolphins game at the bar and that was it. So you didn't get sports, you didn't get gambling, you didn't get drink. A bar wasn't drinking yet. Did you guys ice skate? Yes, we did. There's ice skating? There it is.

Finally, we have found something. Thank you, Roy. It's always good to volunteer none of this and make us interrogate you to get it out of you. For five minutes. Now by crowbar out of your mouth, it's good that you volunteer none of it. You don't remember anything, but now we've sparked a memory.

Yes, we ice skated. If he was taken, he'd be returned. He'd be like, this is way too frustrating. Can't get anything out of this guy. Exactly. That's part of my evil master plan. Did you get off the boat when you got to Labadee? Yes. Yes. We walked around the island. And you walked around.

And I sat on a beach chair the entire time. OK. That sounds nice. Did you take any seashells or? Claire took one seashell. That was it. By the seashore? Exactly. OK. You know what? It's not. What do you do? You know what? I'm going to.

What happened there? Me? Major penalty five minute screwing comedy. By the sea shore, seashell by the sea shore. Get out of here. That's not a helpful addition to what it is that you were doing on the show. It's not a funny joke.

It's not clever. It's lazy. And you were somehow worse than us having to interrogate Roy for five minutes to extract from him like archeologists that he went ice skating on a cruise ship. Content dam. Did you zip line? It's part of the game with Roy.

I have here a highlight from Roy's cruise. This is from his Twitter account on December 9th. He retweeted this tweet on December 9th while he was in Labadee, Haiti, or on his way back from Labadee, Haiti. It was a tweet from someone named Mark Lazarus, and it just says, 44 years on this this planet and I never realized that the quote New York and Rangers are in all different fonts that's insane on the low I would someone do something wait it

is yeah yeah that's what he did while he was on his cruise he was retweeted that would have stopped me in my tracks too now I have to Google it yeah pull up the logo I'm pretty certain that guy runs NBC Sports. No, no, no, no. Blackhawks beat reporter for the intellect, right, Roy? Correct. Here's Zendaya in a giant hat that you upgraded. This is what you were doing from your balcony on the cruise. He was risen from the dead, StuGods.

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Don Lebatard. Go ahead, Billy, ask him your question. Is gymnastics pop, prop, possibly corrupt? Oh, wow. Stugats. I got some phlegm in my mouth, yeah. It's okay. Yeah.

Is gymnastics possibly corrupt? This is the Don Lebatard Show with the StuGards. Jeremy, please go to the other room. It is time for your victory lap. I don't know what it is that the victory lap is about, but we'll get to it in a second. Also, do we know if Genesis has arrived? I will say, you know that I don't do advertising around

here, but if I were to advertise how you fix your body late in life so it doesn't have a great deal of pain, I would advise a lot of Genesis in your life or a lot of her mentor, Al. So some of the people around here are going to take a mashing today to see if we can get some of the stress out of their body. But Billy, can you help me do some work here on us to got some motionally i can rarely convince him to do anything that he needs to do for himself so that he uh... takes care of himself he tends to rebuff me and i think because he's been walking crooked lately that he needs an hour of

genesis but i think he's also afraid of genesis that her healing hurt so much that he doesn't wanna do a thing that would be better for him because the drives and the travel are taking a lot out of him. I may not be your man for this job because I also have avoided Genesis for about three years now,

because I'm afraid. I'm terrified. It hurts, it hurts, and I'm always afraid someone's gonna sneak one past the goalie when she's standing on me, you know what I mean? No. Like a fart is gonna come out or something else is gonna she's standing on me, you know what I mean? No. Like a fart is gonna come out

or something else is gonna come out. Oh, that's not what I thought that meant. She pushes down so hard. Wait, what did you think of that? Don't worry about it. Oh. Jessica, but you would not say the same things they say. You would say that it is rough and rugged,

but also you understand that the pain is the healing in it. It hurts so good, Dan. Oh my God. Right? Oh, it's the best, I can't wait. I've gotten so many massages in my life, and usually like five minutes in, the masseuse says, hey, how's the pressure?

Genesis doesn't do that. And if she does do it, and you say, hey, lay off a little bit, she cranks it up. Cranks it up. I'm terrified of her, I gotta be honest. And Sylvester Gatza's getting older. His bones are getting more brittle. We need to be careful.

Well, you say this, but I would say because, I mean, okay, so I would sound a bit like a lunatic here, but when you endure whatever the pain is of that, it is your body healing itself because she will make you more limber, more flexible, and you'll stop walking crooked. Like the pain is the thing that you need in order to get better here. But Jessica, you like the pain in here,

and is she here? Because I am overdue here on needing some of your college football takes because I'm tired of Mike Ryan's college football takes and you don't agree with Mike Ryan's college football takes. So I'm thinking of merging both of those things. You get mashed, but you also give us your hottest takes. But you don't view this as pain that makes you yelp, right?

Because I just did this this morning with her mentor, Al, and I'm screaming. This morning? Yeah, I'm screaming. And you came to work? You don't feel like you're liquid right now? Because afterwards, I generally feel like I'm liquid. I have to go lay down.

I hurt at 6 o'clock in the morning in a way that woke up my wife because I was screaming because he was on a part of my body with his knee and all his body weight, but yes, I feel physically better today. But I have used Al as well, and Al is fantastic. He really is, but when I tell him to lighten up on the pressure,

he lightens up on the pressure. Genesis, not so much. I've never done it before, because I'm petrified. Like, I'm way too scared. Well, everybody comes out of there saying that they feel like liquid. Oh my god. I don't know, my back is very sensitive.

Didn't you play sports? Yeah, but I clearly don't anymore. I'm in a fucking green witch costume. That is true. Samson, you would not allow somebody to touch you this way. You don't like a massage, correct? You wouldn't like it? A foot massage?

No, any kind of massage. Massage my foot. Would you be here for any kind of massage? There's certain massages I like. Okay, but a professional massage in a professional environment? Well, he did already. I mean, come on, man.

Still. You know what he's talking about. No, the answer is I was surrounded by people who did sports massages. As a marathon runner, you're supposed to get deep tissue, and I do not allow that. about. No, the answer is I was surrounded by people who did sports, I was just, as a marathon runner, you're supposed to get deep tissue, and I do not allow that. I don't want the pain.

I'd rather, I roll myself out. The pain of that. That hurts too. That is also painful. But it's self, when you self-inflict the pain, it's easier, because you have the threshold. But rollers do hurt. But yeah, I roll my calves, and I roll my thighs, and my back, but yeah, it can hurt, but I don't let someone else do that.

It's because you don't want somebody touching you that way, correct? These people use their feet, their elbows, their knees. You would never allow any of that, right? I wanted to ask you guys a question about this in this realm. This is a serious question. Put it on the poll, please, Juju, at LeBataar's show.

Should you get a full refund if during your entire 90 minute massage, the masseuse has the hiccups? Yes. The entire 90 minute massage. Did Al have the hiccups? No, this was something else. This was a nightmare.

No one has the hiccups for 90 minutes. I've had the hiccups for 90 minutes. For 90 minutes? 90 minutes? For a long time. Yes, it almost happened last night as I was going to buy, I got the hiccups. You guys have heard me get the hiccups before, haven't you? There was like a whole day where I had the hiccups

for like three hours and I had to record like multiple podcasts while I had the hiccups. You have no tricks? No. Everyone's got tricks. Sometimes they don't work. But I gave you one. Hold your breath, swallow three times, remember?

Like it worked, didn't it? Mm, I don't remember. I think it worked, yes. Towards the end of the remember like it worked didn't it? Mmm. I think it worked. Yes towards the end of the show it works. Yeah ones do scare people You can just go and blow in smoke in someone's mouth. Oh really I could do that. Yes I'm an expert at that but to answer Dan's question. Do we deserve a full refund if they're hiccuping the entire time? Yes, I'm there to relax. I'm not there. I found it wildly distracting. Like wildly distracting. Of course.

I mean, they're making a sound every five seconds. It made me want to stop five minutes into the massage because the hiccups were not stopping and did not stop for 90 minutes. And so I'm asking you guys if I deserve, because I didn't ask for a discount or a refund, but I felt like that was not in any way what I was signing up for.

I think sneezing and sniffles are worse than hiccups. Yeah, no. Don't you wonder is that oil or is that mucus? Exactly. Is it a constant sneezing though? I mean. You know when sneezes for 90 minutes, but one sneeze is refund worthy. Five minutes of hiccups is not.

One sneeze? If someone would sneeze in my presence, and you'd feel the things. Now you're saying you're getting sneezed on. That's different. Yes, not one sneeze into your elbow like an appropriate person. He's talking about a sneeze with the shrapnel

that comes, the snot shrapnel that comes with the sneeze. That's a refund. I don't want snot shrapnel on me generally speaking either. So yeah, okay What if this is a funny guy that does the sneeze but then sprays you with a spray thing goes chew and then a little Spray and it's not real snot Because you're looking at the floor no tip He's like, oh I'm gonna get this not out and then he starts pulling it and it's like a scarf, and then it's another scarf coming out of your bag.

Ooh, clown masseuses would be great. That's a great idea, business model. I'm gonna pitch this to Genesis. Samson, can you invest? Why do you think that's a great idea, clown masseuses? Samson, you're not afraid of clowns, are you? You're afraid, you're not afraid of clowns? He's Billy, I mean.

So you think it's a good business, I just, Billy's business ideas are something you always wanna support there. I'm still waiting for that Moss Miami at the last remaining Kmart to come together. I'm ready whenever you guys are. You guys are the ones that won't do it. I'm the idea man, you guys are the money men.

You're definitely not the idea man. I bring the ideas here, just fund these ideas. I'm telling you, that Kmart moss would be incredible. I'm gonna just realign your nose real quick. Ah, got a quarter. Clown masseuse. I fell asleep in a massage and I started snoring. Is that rude?

Because I feel like that's more of a compliment to the masseuse, they had me so comfortable that they put me to sleep. If I were them, I would just stop doing it. Well, it was a college massage, so my wife was there. So then she also had to deal with like the embarrassment of I fell asleep and I was snoring. So she's getting a massage while I'm getting a massage.

And the three of them are dealing with me snoring while the massage is going on. That's refund worthy right there. What? If you are getting a massage next to your significant other who's snoring, don't get a couples massage. What's the refund? What do you mean?

What is the refund? Her massage got ruined. Yes. I want to. His wife should get the refund. I like the idea of just getting three couples massages forever, cause I just keep falling asleep and snoring and she gets a refund on it.

You gamed the system. You guys, though. These clowns are never gonna see it coming. You skipped right past Jessica's thievery of you fall asleep during a massage Jessica's giving and start snoring, you're gonna wake up and she's gonna be eating a sandwich nearby when you wake up,

because she's just gonna stop working. She's not gonna work if you're asleep, even though the job is to work. I'm gonna wake up, because she's just gonna stop working. I'm not gonna work if you're asleep, even though the job is to work. I'm gonna wake up and my masseuse is gonna be doing something else other than her job, because Jessica's a thief as a masseuse, which is worse than a clown as a masseuse. If I'm a masseuse, I have to take my breaks

where I can get them and rest my hands. You know, you're using your hands all day. If my client falls asleep, I'm monitoring the breathing situation. As soon as he snorts himself awake, I'm gonna go right back in there and pretend like I've been massaging the whole time. Just barely touch, just do like this.

And then if the person wakes up, they think, oh, this is just like the lull in the massage. We would all do it. Massussas are very routine. So sleep or no sleep, you know, arm and then arm and then down. Very disciplined, yes. It's a whole thing.

They do the same thing whether you're awake, asleep. Once in a while it's the whisper, how's the pressure? They do that. Except Genesis. I'm skipping the arms if you're sleeping. I'm not doing your arms if you're asleep. No, but I'm saying as a professional masseuse, you would just do it as a matter of course.

Taking a break, it's sandwich time. I gotta restock the gunpowder in my trick handshake, so I'm taking a break I'm I got you smoking a cigarette in the corner of the spot Sandwich You wake up the person who snoring because you're having a heater in the corner That's a candle Dan an ash

scent ash scented candle in the corner of the spa. Why is there a clown masseuse? Why do you think this is a good idea, Billy? Because I will tell the audience, we have not celebrated around here, okay, in the gambling corners of the universe where people are making your money because they got inside information billy is better at gambling on football than anyone draft kings has ever known in an area of expertise except that last time i was very close to his jealous of billy very jealous to assume that his curious to build a little better to still got to have in the season

of a lifetime on god bless football but billy's been better billy keeps hitting on three-team parlay, three-leg parlay, he hits in the first half. Billy, what's your record this season on God Bless Football against the spread, Billy? 41 and 17. Whoa. That's better.

The problem is, and I will say this, because you keep wanting to bring it up and talk about it, I don't like talking about it because I have felt the tension with Stugatz because Stugatz is not comfortable when we discuss this. So I don't want to discuss it. I mean, I thank you because you gave me a three and oh back to back weeks. I believe you gave me two three and ohs and one of those games.

I got to go to sleep by halftime, so I was fine with that. But I am trying to support you. And, you know, we're making a big deal about your record. I too have a fantastic record and I haven't heard a peep from you, Billy Gill, about my record. I mean. I haven't said, I'm not, excuse me, I'm not pushing to promote this record.

I understand. I'm just going out there and I'm giving you three picks at a time every Monday and then we do special events on Sundays, I'll do those. You know, I start a season going 0 for 18, and we do a 30 for 30 on it. You know, I have a season right now at 61, 38, and 2, and no one says a word. I mean, it's unbelievable.

Not you, Billy. That's what he wants to celebrate. I'm OK. I'd rather celebrate you. He also changes the line for every game. Well, I buy down amperes. You buy halves. Are you that guy?

I am that guy. Do you do it after the final score? I'll buy a full board. I don't care. Some people have accused Are you that guy? I am that guy. Do you do it after the final score? I'll buy a full board. I don't care. Some people have accused Dugats of finagling some lines. His record might, it's got some accounting. It's not, look, it's not notarized by an accounting firm. Right, those 38 losses, David, feel like 75 losses.

Well, they are 75 losses. They might be, but one of the things that happens with Billy, this is the case with both Billy and juju They care deeply so they are actually pouring themselves into Looking where the advantages might be but so are the gambling people and they're not doing as well as Billy Gill is and neither is Stugat and of course we celebrate when Stugats in 30 for 30 style starts a season 0 for 18 because do you have any earthly idea how hard it is to start a season with your public picks going 0 and 18 and be as hard as going 18 and 0.

What if I told you that the pursuit of perfection isn't always a good thing? That 0 for 14 on your gambling picks isn't just possible but will likely have real life consequences. That my picks are for entertainment purposes only. That I gave you a sly wink and air quotes when I said that thing about my picks being for entertainment purposes only. That I've run into some pretty rough people you don't want to owe money to. That I've run into some pretty rough people you don't want to owe money to. That I've just taken out a third mortgage. That my daughters are going to have to make new friends in public school. That I know way too much about the University of Hawaii's football team because I'm always up late chasing.

That my wife is probably leaving me and taking the kids. That if someone you never met before starts asking you questions about where I've been, tell them you haven't seen me in a while and immediately text me so I can get on the next flight to El Salvador. That I know, it's been a rough couple of weeks, but I've got a great feeling about the Titans plus six and a half on Sunday. ESPN Films presents a 30 for 30 about one man's fight to keep both his kneecaps. Did we do multiple 30 for 30s on this because it deserves it starting 14 0 and 14

We did because I went out in 14 one year and and and I think two years later went out in 16 during both season Where was the only 18 from I think he did twice. I'm sorry. I think I got it wrong on 0 and 18 It was two different ones that I've confused one was 0 and 14 and one was 0 and 16. It did happen twice. I think Roy, if you keep searching our library, you'll find another one because it did happen twice. That's more impressive than what Billy's doing. To do that twice, that's unbelievable.

Well, how about Billy pick games instead of these prop things, okay? I don't like prop bets, Like something against the spread, man. That's how I do it. I pick a game, pick a side. That's another segment. That one, oh man, I had those cats last week with the dogs and then the,

I told you the Panthers were gonna cover that spread last week. No one believed that. You actually did, I took it. Ha ha ha ha ha. Stugats has been making a killing. The only bet's the winners. Well, Stugats has been betting Billy's bets the last three he's made because Billy's gone

eight and one over the last three bets he's made. I had an awkward conversation David where this isn't how we're supposed to be doing it at all but I told Stugots, I go, you know what Stugots, I'm going to pick games to lose on purpose next week just so that you feel like just for your ego I'm going to pick losers just for you. What's the worst bet I can make? Howdy folks, it's Mike. And guess what? It's Miller time.

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