The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Shut Up, Kids (Cha-Cha-Cha!)

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

"I probably shouldn't have had that third old-fashioned." Everybody loves Earleen, but nobody supports her like her husband, who will have a crowded Tombstone. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the big suey, presented by Draft Kings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habit. Pitch you a liar. This episode is presented by Drap Kings. Drap Kings, the crown is yours. A number of different things that I wish to get to, including Greg Cody. I don't know what controversy this is caused in the house. I know Greg Cody does not want us to play a video that we are going to play anyway over his objections because he's embarrassed by it, but I don't know the nature of the embarrassment.

And before I play the video, Chris, can you give me some family context to this? Why is your father embarrassed that we're doing this? this against his will. My mother celebrates her birthday this upcoming weekend. And this past weekend, her work family took her out for their, which they do, like whenever someone celebrates a birthday. My dad goes to these dinners. I believe you complained about, and maybe I'm revealing too much because some people might listen. You only knew like two or three of 17 people or something. I probably knew three or four of 18 people well enough to have a casual conversation. But that's okay. It's her party, not mine. Right. So then they get to the end of the meal where they're, of course,

singing happy birthday and you would think other than my mom who needs to be the most interested in the sit like this song like we can't have for a raise you know that's true and as he's the boss and this is a work thing this is a bunch of kiss asses oh trust me and this is everyone here like my mom is the boss here so really got that right billy's nailing it like everybody for sure is like not wanting to be at this dinner and they're all just putting on a show for my mom like that's undeniable well wait a minute everyone loves your mother that's that's what they you know no at work Believe me, that's bona fide. So what we have here is the, we're going to jump in.

I don't want you to throw it to the video just yet. I want to set some of the family context of this because we have 17 people at a dinner. And I know your father, he wants her birthday to be about him. Like he can say it's her party. It's not what he wants. It's her party, but he'll cry if he wants to. Like he wants to be seen here. And these are people who work for your mother.

He doesn't really want to talk to any of them. Talk to two or three of them. They're going to ask, hey, Dolphin, seven and a half, over, under. He's bored. He doesn't want to be there. Okay, all right. There's another backdrop to this video, and it's that I probably shouldn't have had that third old-fashioned. My mom always criticizes him.

When he gets into the brown, it's a scary thing. And I love how he says third old-fashioned, while in this video, he's holding a glass of wine. Mixing. Oh, no. There may have, we Ubered. There may have been a couple of beers before we left the house in a pre-game party. Well, I have a theory about this video because I did see it before the show, and that applies some context. Yes, and what we're going to play here, this is more visual.

So all you're going to hear here is them singing happy birthday. But what you're going to see is a very uninterested husband of the birthday girl. Let's play it. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Happy birthday to you. So as he's, so what you miss there if you're not watching is my dad, just in the middle of the song, not singing, not mouthing the words, just casually looking at his phone.

Okay. Boy, what a side profile there on the Cody knows. I was scrolling my phone real quickly to try to take a video of them singing happy birthday before it ended. That was my theory. That was my theory. It was like a, you gave up. He was struggling. You could see the screen never changes. He couldn't do what he was. trying to do. We're three quarters of the way into the song. And I've been trying the whole time. You could have been singing along, but you were trying the whole time. We see you grab your phone to lift it up. Okay, the logo, the camera logo on my phone has disappeared. I now have to

click a- He's just poking the camera logo. I now have to click a button and start spelling camera to get the- Everyone please back off because this is a gold mine. There is a gold mine here on, what you guys are noticing here is this is your father Chris after quote I probably shouldn't have had that third old fashion Oh look there's a phone here

And his functions are not going to work correctly look he's bad at technology under all circumstances The funniest part of this is that nothing on your father's phones changes He's simply he's stuck at password and there are clearly people already videoing this

So, like, but two-thirds of the way through the song, you have the idea, someone should be videoing this. Let me get my phone while seven people around the table are videoing. I wanted to be the guy videoing it. By the way, I haven't fallen down any flights of stairs lately. Oh, come on, man. I'm just saying. Neither have I, according to that.

I mean, you know. You fell down some stairs. Different. Okay. But it's just like, I'm interested. Like, oh, should I take a video? Oh, that's not working. First of all, it wasn't even a birthday cake.

It was like a brown. That's a very sad little piece of pie. And at the end, like the half-hearted, just like, oh, good, that song's over. I love when he looks up, defeated. Like, let me just get back to programming. I won't jump in and sing. And again, you're throwing stones here. While you haven't fallen down some stairs, I'm pretty sure Dan's arms haven't gushed blood

because he just rained into a threshold. All right. That's fair. But, you know, that kind of thing. When's her actual birthday? It seems like it was a fake birthday. The birthday is the 22nd. The birthday is the 22nd.

Oh, come on. It's birthday. month in my house. I mean, I do nothing but celebrate that. Because we're taking her out to dinner this weekend, so she did her work thing the weekend before. And she and I are going on Friday night. I mean, it's like a big birthday month. Enough. And so the fact

I didn't sing because she's blown up the candle and a cupcake, you know, is not a big deal. How old is she turning? We don't want to talk about that. Is it like a significant milestone? It's not, no, it is. Oh, then ridiculous. It's not a major birthday. Why do you even need to go to a work birthday? You don't work with her? Well, you know, that could be said, but I wanted to support my wife.

You know, nobody supports her like I I'm looking at the people. Not financially, but otherwise. No one supports her. You're literally in the video, not support. I mean, I'm looking at the people in the back that seem somewhat disinterested and even the singing. There's a guy at the end that he's like faking the, you know, bob in the law. Oh, he's not in his head. What do you mean? Yeah, that's not enthusiasm. That's not singing like you're really wishing someone a happy birthday. It's like the Jay-Z Jim. What is? It's happy birthday.

That's effort right there. Mom's office, Louis, over there. Happy birthday to him, by the way. It is Lewis's birthday, actually. Look at that I roll he just did. I hope that guy's not getting a bonus. Watch the eye roll. Happy birthday to you.

Let's see. Oh, wow. Whoa. Greg didn't roll his eyes. Okay, so a lot to examine here. They're uninterested. A lot. lawyers could they sue us a lot to examine here i want to examine all of it because i am going to

defend my friend here even though the optics on this are horrible like he picks up his phone it looks like he's distracted immediately no interest in happy birthday for his wife the optics are horrible and this is what i'm telling you though chris i've seen your father in this condition when he still doesn't know what order to drink these drinks in he ruined my brother's very first exhibition, knocking paintings off the wall because he does not know the order to drink. So if he's already had beer and wine, you can't go

three old fashions. Like, you can't start mixing these in orders where he's already screwed up no matter what his tolerance level is. This is, your father, at his very cognitively slowest. He can't do... I should pick up my phone. All right, I'll put it back

down. He can't do shit here. Like, he's along for the ride. He didn't want to go and be out with these people. He's so tired of office Lewis and his fake ways over laughing in mom's jokes. Bob in his head. Yeah, good song. These people are dead inside. They don't want to be there any more than your father does.

And your father handles it every year by drinking too much. No, that's not true. Greg, there's a story I remember from you ruining one of these things where you actually had a lampshade on your head. In his defense, he doesn't need a birthday party to do that. Greg, how many years ago was the office party that you had to change your office party behavior because at the end of the night you had a lampshade on your head. I don't catalog all that kind of stuff, you know. It says there's so much going on.

This video does one thing. It shows how much I love my wife. No, it doesn't. Okay, because my priority right then was being held bent to record this song. Three quarters of the way into the song. You had the idea. You just need the wish at the end of blowing out of the candle. You fast forward through the rest of the happy birthday. I love the half-hearted like him clapping trying to like, look, I've been involved. the whole time. I mean, the idea you've got to sing Happy Birthday is such a...

Oh, really? I really don't like that song at all. Nobody likes it. Nobody wants to sing it. You know, and if it's, like, if you're singing it for somebody who's like a wife to you and an aunt to you and a nana to you...

What name do you say? Nobody knows what to say when it comes down to the name and everybody murmurs it because they don't know what you say. Kids now also have ruined. I don't know you guys have kids. They say cha, cha, cha, cha,

after every line. It's so annoying. Shut up, kids. Yeah, exactly. Put it on the poll, please, at Levitar show. Shut up, kids. Shut, cha, cha, cha. Okay, fine.

Shut up kids, cha, cha, because it's your day, Billy. But Billy is right about this annoying thing. Do you guys have a go-to move when you arrive at the name of somebody whose name you do not know? Just mumble. Yeah, you mumble. You murmur. None of you have a go-to, like, just anything. Get a load of this guy.

So during happy birthday, if you can't summon the name, what do you do? because you guys, this is a perfect time for that, or everyone there is close enough to say Erlene? Oh, yeah. Here, everyone would say Erlene. But if it's at our house, nobody knows what to say because she's Erlene to some of us, she's mom to some of us, she's Nana to some of us.

So when it comes down to the name, everybody's going, I strive for the day where I can casually get invited to a birthday dinner where I don't know the person well enough to know their name. Gras and the person next to you, what's their name again? Yeah, this birthday seems capped. It feels like the floor is know their name. She's the boss of these people. Why would they not know her name?

No, I thought that perhaps the significant others or the kids or other people who might not know that her name is Erleyn because they're there is a family event and it's not just work people. I did think that most of those songs end up with somebody mumbling. Dad, did mom do the thing where she makes people get them and talk about her? There was a couple of those. My mom's big on that. Wait, like what? At my birthday, it's like, all right, now everybody stand up.

And I actually stood up and said something that, despite the false allegation that I'd had too much to drink, I actually stood up just before that and said something that your mother acknowledged was very sweet. I'm sure you spoke quickly. You know, I like to be concise. Did you say that kind of thing? To conclude. No, I don't think I did. Wait, so she makes all of her employees stand out and, like, say something nice about me now. Makes is maybe putting it a little strongly.

She's for sure going to be mad that I'm saying this. But yes, at all my mom's yearly birthdays, there's usually speeches. Right. Were they gifts? Did anyone, did you notice any like over-eager gift givers? They were gift-giving. It's another pressure. It must suck for these people.

Your mom sounds terrible. I'm not going to lie. You're painting her in a horrible life. I just, I now want to recreate it. I want to put you guys in that position. Make each of you stand up and say nice things about Greg or me. Just make all of you stand up in front of people and say it. Like, what is she doing there?

What's happening? She's not making anybody say. It's a voluntary basis. There's a pressure, though. Like, there's a thing of, like, we got to do the thing now. Well, especially if somebody is the first one to do it. If somebody does it, then it's like, all right, who's next? Yeah, like, I don't recall.

I don't think I was the first one to do it. But when somebody else stands up, all of a sudden, I feel obliged. I bet Lewis, the head nodder said something, didn't he? No, I don't think so. She's a dobest boss, bro. Oh, I'm here for limited. Here's some flat against hot sauce, bro. I am here for limited fake Lewis.

Where's he been? Has he made an appearance before today? Well, please, please, limit and fake Lewis is somebody I want more of. You went three weeks with making an impression and not asking for more immediately. Congratulations, Billy. But that is Office Lewis. He's right there. And at the end, though, I don't think Lewis would like the appraisal very much that his enthusiasm is counterfeit because I think that's where he would object.

He comes in here good mood every day trying to give off gratitude and you guys just bury him with your bitterness. I'll start saying good things about Lewis. Lewis, your hair is small. What? Look, every football game is a grind, and if you're like Dan and the crew, you know there's no such thing as one-size-fits-all. Your sleep should be just as custom as coach's game plan.

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void in Ontario. Bonus bets expires seven days after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.com slash audio. Don Lebertard. Quiet man. Yes. You know, I'm a married man.

I don't cheat on my wife, despite that gratuitous line in back in my day. Stugats. I wish you were here in my wife. I really miss her? No, I don't. That's the thing about being married. You know, you're not allowed to say, I don't miss my wife.

I've been gone two days. I haven't been gone long enough to miss my wife. I'm sorry. I call her. I'm on the phone with her for 30 seconds. You know, what am I? Hello, all right. All right, we'll see you.

All right. And then, you know, I'm going to see her in two days. I was jumping, Charlie. Good. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. Again, quote, I probably shouldn't have had that. That third old-fashioned is a place that I want to put it on your father's tombstone, honestly.

In fact, I'd like- A crowded tombstone. That's a crowded tombstone. I know. I'd like to find, please, let's have a competition, shall we? Let's have a Draft King-sponsored competition that makes fun. Dark comedy. If I had legs, I'd kick you.

It's a dark comedy. What do you put on Greg Cody's tombstone? Winner gets a great prize. The winner of Greg Cody's choosing gets a great prize because a good nominee to start the bidding is, quote, I probably shouldn't have had that third old-fashioned. I mean, that's been a life motto for him. Do you understand? Is it?

Is that, is that, is that, it's too wordy for a tombstone? I think we could fit it. Across the top. He's a writer, so he'd want to be efficient. He'd want to be remembered immortally with something that was well written. I really would like to do this as a competition to have Greg pick his, what a listener suggests should be the words on his tombstone. Should I mean, should it just be that kind of thing?

yeah hey that's that's at the end that's towards the bottom and you know it and you know it so it's just gonna be his catchphrases like that's a fact jack

no come on is he really dead you never know would you be willing to do this would you be willing to have a draft king sponsored contest that that gives away your

your actual tomb stuff yeah and then if I happen to pass away suddenly and unexpectedly it'll be ironic Are you allowing at the very end to draft kings to sponsor your tombstone? Yeah, well, in real life? Yeah, no, not as a bit in real life.

No, I mean, you know, first of all, I'm probably going to be, you know, cremated or something. But you just think it's going to say Greg Cody from 1843 to 2025? No, that would be a saying on it. I don't know. I think you have a say in what happens to you. You're like, they're going to cremate me. I don't know what they're going to do with me. Yeah, it's not like a grab bag.

and we figure out what to do with the body. You know what? Put it on the urn. Your wife and I probably have, or your mother and I probably have to have that conversation. What are your thoughts? You know, I go back and forth. How would you like to be remembered?

I don't know. I go back and forth. You quoted yourself yesterday on the dry race board. Do you want that quote on your tombstone? That's a little serious. Okay. Yeah, live your life with a plumb and alacrity. I was thinking more of thousands waited in line to see my toenail.

I think that would work. I'm a bit self-involved, not much of a legacy. I like... It is a tombstone. I like the poem and the word play of, because it'd be a tombstone and he's not cremated. Guy don't want to earn, U-R-N. Guy don't want to learn. That's good.

I like that. If I had a personal assistant, he or she would be writing that down right now. Have you ever thought of maybe like for like immortality, like making a cast of your great toe? Like you could go and you could make a mold of your great toe and then it could live on. beyond your years. I think that's a great, I should do it right now because my right great toe is chipped, and so it looks even more gruesome than usual. Yeah, and so I should do that.

I should have a cast maid. Yeah. One of the most amazing things in this show's history is that thousands of people did a pilgrimage to see his toenail, and I don't know where that is now, but I would like to have that as an heirloom that carries on beyond you. I saw that Josh Johnson last night was doing a comedy routine about a Steelers' fan wife husband died and she kept his tattoo she kept his tattoo in a in a frame took off took it off the body and kept it in a frame we should have this way to remember gregg cody by his sponsored

toenail which would become then you know an artifact and a religion that celebrates his death that we got it's one of the most amazing things this show has ever done thousands of people gathered to see his toe that that stugats is now cut twice where is that toenail do we know um I have a toenail in a plastic case. But it's not that toenail? In my office, and I think it is that tone. Well, why would it be a different time? It's a good question, Chris.

A great question. All right. I think that's worth a lot of money right now. He's like, I have a toenail. I just got to make sure it's the same one. I believe that's worth a lot of money right now. Yeah, I think it is the same one. Now that you mention it.

It must be. We're going to need to get that authenticated because he could just start pretending and now it doesn't become an heirloom or a collectible of any kind. We'll do a DNA test. But he's got discussed. feet and they they're muscular feet they're warlocky okay warlocky I like that I mean but am I wrong I'm proud of my feet there you can't be proud of their they're muscular they're vain their talons they're masculine feet they're a giant bird of prey an

ostrich okay speaking of celebrating my dad Dan while you were out we AI made a statue of my dad and recreating his famous I love that tell me that doesn't look like Poppy when you When you zoom it on the face, when you zoom in on the face, there are poppy vibes to it, but it's clearly you, dad. Greg Cody, I don't know if we could do this visually, but Greg Cody has, throughout his career, he has teetered, and this is a strange thing, I don't really understand it, between people saying that he looks more like my father or Jeffrey Loria, the former owner of the Marlins, that if you did an evolutionary chart of how people would look as they age, that somewhere between Lori and my father, Greg Cody resides, even though I think Greg is younger than Loria. Yeah, I'm definitely younger than both of those gentlemen. We actually have a photo from yesterday of my dad, Carl Pavano, David Sampson, and Mike Hill. We can put up right here.

Now, look at this weirdo. What is David Sampson doing on his toes there? Somebody explain, well, this is... Also, the tan line, if you zoom in on those Sampson feet, good golly. Okay, look, Samson's having all sorts of problems here. Why is he on his tippy toes? Does he always do that? Yeah, that's his move in photos.

But wait a minute. He's only 65 inches. He still looks like he's their toddler. But that is my dad in that photo. I know. I know there's even in the feet now, but that's clearly Greg Cody. I wish I looked like Jeffrey Lurie's bank account, I tell you that. Okay, that's my dad's joke right there.

That my dad has said, I love Poppy. My father has made that joke forever. I don't want to look like him. I just want to have his money. Okay. Now that's you, you're going to use. Bank account's a little funnier than the word money. What would Poppy do with his money?

Like, if he had his money right now, what would he do? Well, this is what my mother keeps saying to him. What are we saving it for? We're in our 80s. Like, what are we been saving? This is the exile mentality. My parents have been afraid since they got here. And, like, you think what's happening in this country right now isn't scary, too?

Like, my parents have been saving money since they got here. Terrified, grateful to just live here. Grateful to have this country give them all sorts of freedom. And my mom's not riding him into the ground. Disney's, this is. is the wonder of it. Disney's still paying my father. This is like Bobby Bonilla. In retirement, because he's retired

on however it is that the pensions pay out. Wow. So my father is sitting here. He's the only one still collecting from Disney. My father now just owns 10% of the NFL, or how does that work? Or what's the math on that? Bobby was asking the other day. How much of ESPN do I own now that the NFL

owns 10% of ESPN? Does he still get those passes? A lifetime, oh, man. I mean, my father, I don't think there's been a mercenary in the history of ESPN or Disney who have gotten away with more than my father did. They're still paying him at the end. He pretended he was holding out because he just wanted to quit

and couldn't tell me. And he said, they're not paying me enough. And he strong-armed them. Like, they caved. He didn't want to raise. He just wanted to leave. He didn't want to work anymore and didn't want to tell me. Good for him. Good for him. I'm glad he's, I'm shocked he's still being paid by Disney. More power

to him. Looks like me. Who do you get that most with? loria or my father because it doesn't make any sense that you would look like my father he's an old Cuban man I know but look at look at that gold statute I mean to me that's your dad in that statute not me so we must look alike and I I used to hear Loria all the time Mike says Lyndon Baines Johnson yeah Lyndon B Johnson for me LBJ LBJ of course everyone knows that in my Ute I used to be liking to Tom Cruise he used to call me Greg Cutie so Kristen who works for us here has been asking me like do we want to do this and I'm like that

probably would be expensive. I would like, she's like, where would we put it? I want to, I want this thing. I think we need this thing somewhere. Let's start at the big toe. Well, we'll make a bust of his, uh, of his podcasting, uh, project inside the slacks. There we go. And like, like, figure out the supplies we need to cast his feet.

I'd like a real statue, you know, rather than me, one deep frying a turkey. What would you be doing? Oh, come on. Greg, you're going to set yourself so seriously at the end. This is, you want to all right, let's have artists concoct yours. You want a civil war, statue of you being serious like commemorated as a great writer that would be funny too don't

get me wrong which one what's your idea how do you want to be remembered how do you want to be remembered how do you want to be remembered i just noticed that you can actually see the turkey either submerging it's great or rising at this what i mean chris when chris says i want that it's not as a joke that's a loving reminder of you that's what you look like doing you're right let's do that statue let's make it slightly larger than like where would we put it make me about six one yeah a slightly larger than life. That's what you do with a statue. Ron Frazier's statue at UM is like 6.5 or something. Is it still there in front of, uh, or did they quietly remove it? No, I think it's still there. Okay, good. Dan Lebatard. My wife says this is a sexy voice. It really is. Yeah. I'm hard.

Thank you. Wow. Stugats. So am I, actually. I don't know why. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. No, I like the idea of a statue. I obviously would like it in my own front yard. No, you would not. I would prefer. We did this last week, that we turned it into a mailbox. Yeah, it could be a, well, it's a little big for a mailbox.

We can just put it in the Riley corner. He hasn't done anything lately. Yeah, what's he wearing a hat? Is he wearing a hat? No, that's a plant. Oh, Greg. It looks like a green beret. Look at this.

This is the old. Gildo, one or the other. listen up time to think fast is this a real or fake podcast wait a minute the placement of Riley has made it that because a plant is behind him

a beret it confused Greg Cody just made it a green dildo that we had put on Pat Riley's head tell me it doesn't look like he's wearing a green beret A little bit. Thank you for your service, Pat. That angle I even get the dough reference. Dan?

Thank you. Let's hope that you're sharp after three and a half weeks away. We've had a handful of games yesterday. We had a really tightly contested one. We learned together that Darren Ravelle actually does not actively have a podcast, defying the odds. As Greg said, he's the one. Yeah. I mean like that.

Café con Linderor with Francisco Linderor. No, that's not a... No, that is not a podcast. I don't believe that Francisco Linder has any interest in doing a podcast off the field. That is a real podcast. What? Get the hell out of here. No, no, no, it is not.

Look it up. I love it. Club 619 with Ray Mysterio. Real or fake. Do you know who Ray Mysterio is? He's a wrestler, right? One of the most famous acrobatic masked wrestler. The most famous mask wrestler of all time, right?

Is that right? Look, there's evidence of Cafe Conlien Door on our screen. That's unbelievable. So it's a breakfast show. Is he doing it in English or Spanish? I don't know if it's a breakfast show. That's a nice logo. Look, man, I just learned about this thing yesterday.

I couldn't believe it. It's stunning. He has a host, right? He has a host. The host name ain't on Kathy. Coen D'Or. You don't think he can carry a show? Oh, I just, the last time I spoke to him, his English was, I don't

know whether he's doing it in English or Spanish. But his, yeah, that's what I was asking. Now that it's real, you can subscribe and find out. Look, he's going, the, the marketing on this, this is why I will celebrate this. Please put this up on the screen here so that we can advertise. I'd like a relationship with Café Con Linder

especially if he's doing it in Spanish. This is a Spanish style kitchen. This looks like my grandmother's kitchen. This would only be a breakfast time show and it would be in Spanish. I don't know. I don't think he can do that show in English from the last time I talked to him when he spoke English. Well, the beauty of a podcast is it doesn't have to be a breakfast time show. It could be an anytime show. Stop running away from Club 619 with Ray Mysterio. Is it real or fake? I say yes. Real. And I was asking questions about

Mysterio. He is the most famous mass wrestler for all times. Zazlo's been bothering me. Look, Zaslo's on a hot street. He's been bothering me about he wants to do a wrestling show. Badly wants to do a wrestling show. For years, I've been trying to get this off the ground. For years, he wants to do a wrestling show. And I just threw out there, Mysterio, most famous mass wrestler of all time, right? Who's second? I don't know. And it went nowhere. I think, yeah, probably. Most famous, luchador. Grazie. Real or fake podcast? That's a fake podcast. I don't believe that that's real. It is a fake podcast.

Now What with Gary V. Or, now what? With Gary V. well but yeah well i don't know if that's the name of it but gary v is doing something like that is that the name of it gary could be a guy that has plenty of podcasts who's gary v that's what dan said once on our show to gary v's face an entrepreneur of great fame that's an influencer who has a lot of voice and uh they get into garage sales and is really good at making money is this a real or fake podcast now what with gary v i'm going to say it's real yes real fake that's not the name of it right okay get in the game with former Detroit

Lions kicker Jason Hansen real or fake get in the game with Jason Hansen all right here's my dilemma with this game you're not that imaginative you're not that creative I know you I've seen your work there's I made a musical guy there's no reason there that's what I'm saying Wait, what was that guy doing in the middle? I made, as a taunt, I mean, as a taunt, I made a fucking musical guy. You've been gone for a while, that's what he calls you now. When's that guy coming back? You're not creative enough to invent that.

That has to be real. That's too ridiculous to be fake. Can't end the game with Jason Hanson? It can't be real. It shouldn't be real. It can't be real. It should not be real. There's no reason that anyone should pay for that in this economy.

So are you saying it's real because it can't be? That's right. I'm saying it's not real. It can't be. It can't be, but it can't be. It can't be. It cannot be, but I'm saying it's real just because I'm testing your imagination. You wouldn't make that up.

It's real. Wow. Dan Coldon. All right, final one. And I know you made a fucking musical guy. And I'm saying you're not that creative. it. Last one. Soup's On with Jeff Soupon.

Oh, I love it. Love it. Is S-U-P-P, though, or is it S-U-P, you know, like... Good follow-up. How is it so? It's conventional spelling. Okay. No, but that's a great question he's asked. You want him to use it in a sentence? Just to see where Mike's at on it. I like it. Go ahead. Let's do this. Greg, go ahead. How does this work? How does this spell? What is the graphic for this? Soup's on with Jeff Soupon. Has to be spelled S-U-P-A-P-A-P-S.

I would think so. But I think so. But I think so. I think you can still get away with a soup bowl, with a spoon, with a little picture of a tendril of smoke coming up from the heat coming up from the soup bowl. I think you would confuse the audience because they would say, sup, Ann, you know? Yeah, it's called What's Up? Yeah, and then we get fouled up, yeah. All right. So, no, that can't be a podcast. I think it is.

It's fake. Welcome back, guy. Thank you. I've missed that game. I missed you guys. and I want to come up with Greg's tombstone sponsored by Draft Kings. Please help me figure out what the writers around our show. What are we saying the limits on this has to be?

Because you don't want too many words. It depends on the fonts. You can fit a lot, you know? You will disqualify yourself, I think. Well, Greg is so self-involved. You saw the most engaged he's been in 10 years is when you guys asked him about his statue and how serious he is about wanting it to be 6-1 and being in his front yard. We made fun of Pudge because he had a giant static.

that was in his yard. It was a giant gold statue of Pudge in catching gear here in Miami that was in his yard. It was ridiculous. It was golden. It was godlike. And the last time I saw Pudge walking through the lobby of a hotel because I'm so awkward, I just asked him, where's the statue? Because we made fun of it for years, that he would have a statue of himself in his yard.

And he said it was being shipped to Texas and that they are now having it outside their stadium, stadium which they should well no they they made a different statue for him so he might have thought that you were actually interested in the statue they were making in his honor yeah to have multiple statues you really want a statue of yourself for your yard if we got it for you you would put it in your yard i would love it your wife would let you do that yeah i would build a whole uh thing around it like it would be like in a garden type situation uh we would we would decorate we would landscape around the statue, and I would also like a very lightweight version of that statue that I could carry around with me.

Like if I'm going on a trip or something, I could carry a statue of myself under my arm if it weighs like 10 pounds or less, like a bowling. Think of it as like a bowling ball, you know, weight, weight-wise. Why would you want to carry this around? It would be fun. Yeah. Hey, look at that guy over there carrying a statue. Is that a statue of himself?

Is that Joe Biden? Did he win an Oscar? Carrying a statue? Sitting around the kitchen. table on Scranton. You hear Joe Biden, you're like, all right, time to play the hits. Bring back Joe Biden. I mean my imitation of him.

I don't mean Joe. God rest of the soul. Not that he's dead. Wait, he's alive. What? Yeah, he's still good. He's still kicking. All right.

He had legs. Yeah. Exactly. He has legs. We know that. Just joking. Yeah, he had legs. He'd kick you.

I don't understand what that movie's about, and there's not a torso involved in that movie, right? There's not someone without legs in that movie. I mean, the title is a little bit deceiving, I'll be honest. That's the greatest title I've ever heard for a movie. Put it on the poll at Lebitard Show. Have you ever heard a better title for a movie than if I had legs, I'd kick you? Well, I would assume that someone does not have legs or is bound to a little. wheelchair. If not, that's a terrible

title for the movie, right? I think it's great. I think it sounds like a comedian's biography title. I want to know, I want to watch this movie and I want to know what it's about. I should know what it's about, and you said it was not horror. It is dark comedy. ASAP Rockies in it.

Can we please examine for a moment how Earlene Cody is going to feel about today's show and the talk of her office? Your father is not a good friend. By his definitions, I would not say that. I think he's a masterful, wonderful friend. I love him. I'll always love him,

obviously. But he doesn't think he's a very good friend. And it's because he can make it to be hard to be friends with him. You have to chase after him. It's not, he's not coming to you. He's not, he's not making phone calls. He's not trying to, and I think that's why he identifies as a self-proclaimed bad friend. I don't think he is one. Yeah, I'm not an attentive friend, I would say, if I'm self-analizing. And so when I'm saying that there's a birthday party with office workers who I don't think he would call any of those people, his friends, they're your mother's employees, I think. Right. Co-workers, but yes. And he likes them and he's close to them, but only so close, correct?

I mean, there's a couple of people in that room that I think I would call friends. If you're asking what my mom's going to think of this, I think she's going to be fine with most of it except for me saying that she makes people talk about her. All right. That's the part that I'm worried about. So you keep crossing the line and we'll see how we enraged your link, Cody, because that's, I want to get to the bottom of how she feels about all of this because I think she has to get people up to speak about her because she's raised three toddlers who are not likely to tell their mother how much they love and respect and admire her in ways that she has heard very often because they're all constipated repreps young boys, even her husband. But I've never heard your father speak more lovingly or more pluralically about anybody than when he's. Jump in Charlie. When he speaks, except for Jump in Charlie, when he speaks of his love for your mother, which

is the very most of the romantic things. Yeah, I can't express so much I admire, not just love, but admire her. But I think something needs to be said about that video that I am just now realizing. She never noticed until she saw the video that someone else took that I was on my phone during the song. Why does that make it different? Because it's not like she was upset by it. It's not like she was elbowing me, like, what are you doing?

You know, she didn't even know that... Why does that make it better? Because in real time, it didn't hurt her feelings. It didn't insult her. And yesteryear, he would have been able to get away with that. Yeah, because everybody's a photographer. Everybody's got a camera. Except you.

Including you. I would argue that you did more to pay attention and give her your full attention than the person videoing it because they were on their phone. You were not. You were only for a portion of the time, but you were trying to be in the moment. I was very much engaged. You were essentially treating her birthday. like an Erica Badu concert.

Whatever that means. Yeah, you're right. She was at the phone room last night. I know she took away people's phone, but I heard. Oh, that's the best Miami there is. Erica Badu. Badu. She wears a hat, right?

She's the hat. Do you know the names of any of the people in that video? Let's move on to something else. Sure I do. Good work by you, Billy. What are their names? She was wearing a hat last night from the video that I saw. Thank you.

And it was cell phone video from another. venue. Dad, what are those co-workers? What are those co-workers' names? Well, that's Cam and his wife and the nodding person at the end. I'm not positive. So you've got one third, one third. I think that's Lewis. All right. So if we quizzed you on you, if we quizzed you on the

17 people that were there, how many of the names would you know? More or less than half? Less. In terms of being able to name them? Yes. That's part. That's how you know someone's name. Yeah, less than half. But what if it was like a lineup for like a crime and you had to say criminal or Aline's coworker? You could pick them out of a lineup, surely.

Most of them, maybe more than... Against criminals. You've gone too far, but how else would you know someone's name other than to know their name, to name them? I mean, you know, I don't... I don't take a quiz. I never go to my wife's office. I don't socialize with these people. Some of them I do, but not the people in that room.

How many people here could you name? Everyone. Oh, let's play that game next hour. I'm not going to take a quiz. No, I'm not doing that.