The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The $2 Million Puzzle

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

The $2 Million Puzzle that actually only gives out a maximum of $1 million takes the Shipping Container by storm. Then, Dan sends a picture of the Anchorman crew to Adam McKay, the ocean floor is breaking (?), no one here has a political backbone, and the Universal Studios rides the crew loves the most. Plus, we have a potential crime brewing after some info has arisen about Stugotz's White Elephant gift at the Holiday Party. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Welcome to the big, sweet, presented by Giraffe King. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries, if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys. I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, that face and the habitual liar. Billy, I don't think that I would necessarily describe you as gullible, but I would describe you as generally susceptible to a social media scam. I can believe that. Are both of those things the same? Are you someone who is gullible about social media scams? And next thing, you know,

you're making a flavorless, colorless gummy bear that is twice as large as the average gummy bear because someone told you on the internet to put it in your fridge for a while with some salt on it. Well, that did grow. It didn't grow to the size that it was supposed to, but I also took it out after a couple of days because it was taking up a lot of space in the refrigerator. So, like, I'm not 100% convinced that if I wouldn't have followed that through for a month or a year or whatever, that it wouldn't have been like the size of a 10 pound gummy bear.

So, I didn't give up on that one, but, Dan, I think that... You did give up on that one. You did give up on it. Well, technically, yes, but I wouldn't, you know what I mean? Okay, because you haven't finalized the experiment. Yeah, correct. Yeah, no, I stopped on the experiment. I got enough information on that experiment.

It grew a little not enough for your liking and you just gave up on it. You will never go back to that experiment again. Well, I don't know about that, but I also know that I don't rule what goes on in my refrigerator. And when I'm taking up a substantial amount of space with this giant Tupperware filled with water

and a tiny gummy bear in it, and I'm told we need room for milk then the gummy bear has to go. So the Tupperware that you put the gummy bear in was for something eight feet by eight feet because you never knew how big this would be. Well, it's like a turtle. Yeah, it's like turtles grow to the size of their like aquarium

or whatever, like the size of the thing that they're in. I don't know if you know that about turtles, but if you keep a turtle in a small thing, the turtle will stay small. If it's like a big open thing, the turtles can keep growing. So I thought, you know what, if I want a big gummy bear, I'm gonna have to have a giant home for this gummy bear. It sounds like you have a pretty generally plentiful fridge if it doesn't have room for some gummy bear experiment. Like, your fridge seems like it might be fuller than my fridge. Well, I mean, because I don't like going to the store often,

but I have to buy a lot of milk for children. So like I'll go and I'll buy like three things of milk and I'll keep them in there, because if not, I'm at the store every like two days to get milk. So I just, you know, go to BJ's, load up, because it's like a dollar cheaper, BJ saved $3, probably spent $6 and gas to get there. But I saved the $3 and then I fill my fridge with like 180 gallons of milk and then I'm good. So I had to get rid of the gummy

bear. So what you're asking me about, Dan, is that it seems like my phone's been listening to me again and says, there's a sucker born every minute and that sucker is Billy Gill. And I'm interested. I haven't committed to this yet, but I'm interested in this puzzle that's out there. Guys, there's this puzzle out there that when you build it, it's a QR code. And when it's built, you scan, said QR code, and it tells you how much money you've won because every puzzle is a winner, the million dollar puzzle. It's actually called the two million dollar puzzle, and then I went to the website and the maximum price is $1 million,

which I don't understand why it's called the two million dollar puzzle. So, it's this puzzle that you go and you buy. I think it's like $29 if you buy one, or like $19 if you buy one, but if you buy it in bulk, you're saving money. And then when you build it, you're winning money. So it's a whole thing.

Now, here's the thing about it. No one's won the million dollars yet, because obviously you're not gonna ship out the million dollar puzzle right away, because then no one's gonna buy the puzzle anymore, right? I'm starting to think that most of the puzzles are like one dollar puzzles, but then you could buy like a variety pack,

that's like a four pack or a 20 pack or whatever, and I'm starting to think that in those packs is where you could like slowly win like, oh, I spent $60 on puzzles. Here's a $3 winner. Here's a $7 winner and you still don't get the $60. Now this is my challenge to the $2 million puzzle. I'm interested in this but as you've pointed out, I'm a bit skeptical. I think Tony has heard about this too. I'm sure he might be skeptical as well. I'd like the $2 million puzzle to send us a puzzle worth like $50,000 that we can then scan and see, look, it's not just $1 winners. And then I feel like it's a good business investment for them

where they'd have us, credible people, vouging for them in their products, saying, you know what? Look, Billy won actually $50,000. Like the winning puzzles are out there. He didn't win the million, that went still out there. But 70, 50, K, 75, K and and a QR code puzzle and I'm good to go According to their website there are two puzzles with a million dollars inside So I guess that's why it's the two million dollar puzzle

There's one with five hundred thousand dollars two with two hundred and fifty thousand dollars and so on until there are 597,720 puzzles with one dollar inside until there are five hundred and ninety seven thousand seven hundred and twenty puzzles with one dollar inside okay credible people is what you called us while dressed the way i'm a newsman you guys suits are i do like the evolution of the puzzle to have a a prize that is money i did not know that the puzzle could evolve puzzles made a comeback during the pandemic during during the isolation of the pandemic, right?

Puzzles made a comeback as a business. I do like the idea of adding money to it. You add some technology to it to modernize it. But if you make it all a dollar, that's not gonna work. It's gotta be more random than that. There's gotta be bigger prizes more often. Dollar doesn't scratch my itch, Dano. But you talk about 500 grand, I talk about a million.

What if the puzzles went up in pieces? The more money there is. bigger prizes more often. Dollar doesn't scratch my itch, Dano. But you're talking about 500 grand, I talk about a million. What if the puzzles went up in pieces? The more money there is. So there's like a million dollar puzzle, but it's also a million pieces. Well, then you do it. Yeah, you'd buy the million pieces. Would you do it though?

Yeah, I would. How do you put a million piece puzzle? Like where do you put in your backyard? You're just like building it? Well, the birds might eat some of the pieces if you do that. Do you guys do the very elaborate scratch-off games? Like yesterday I came home and Lehman was doing scratch-off bingo. Wow, there's a look into your future.

How does that work? I have no idea, but it looked very elaborate. I love scratch-offs. I recently won $50 on a scratch-off ticket. Take me now. Can I explain to you, Jessica, at Lehman is a sweet creative person and he loves the outdoors. Your future is a possibly a fisherman coming from outside doing scratch off things with

his night times and that being a wild elderly romp for him. This was in the middle of the day, dad. He gets me a scratch off like every time I go to publics, which like Billy was saying is like every other day. But he loves scratch-offs. And recently, I feel like this was a little bit of like, I guess good karma, you could say, because my grandma was looking for pork neck bones to make her gravy, her Sunday gravy, when I was with her over Thanksgiving. And we couldn't find them anywhere. I called eight different butchers to see if they had pork neck bones and all they had were occasionally beef neck bones or no neck bones at all, but she needed pork. And so I kept calling, I kept calling them finally, I found a publics, a few miles away that

had pork neck bones. So we went and we got the pork neck bones after stopping at all these different butchers, calling all these different butchers and she was so happy. And we were like, wow, I can't believe we found them let's get a scratch off and so we got a scratch off fifty bucks boom. Well paid for all those neck bones. Did it pay for all the pork neck bones or were they more expensive than the ones? Not very expensive.

Is that for the stock? Billy what just happened with you and Jeremy? We're doing a lot of math back here to figure out exactly how much money this company is making by selling these puzzles for $30 each. And then we're seeing what if we buy a bundle for $125, you get 10 puzzles, how much money they're making if everybody buys a 10 bundle and how much money they're actually giving away.

Lots of math being detected. Well, I was hoping in our previous incarnation of developing a company that has its own following I give away puzzles. And I was hoping that advertisements and sponsorship opportunities would make an appearance like that, that organically where you're telling the puzzle company, hey, you want to advertise with a group of people who tend to support what it is you're advertising. I've got the team from Anchorman here and they're ready to advertise on behalf of your puzzle. But where's our sales staff to do that?

Why aren't we aggressively doing that? Where's David Samson? Where can you guys get the puzzle that you want that makes you $50,000? Well, there's no $50,000. So we'll have to settle for the $100,000, yeah, because we're not going to 10, that's silly. Enough for sale for $10,000. I, there's no 50,000 it so we'll have to settle for the hundred thousand Yeah, because we're not going to ten that silly enough for sale for ten thousand dollars Our show's relationship with sales as always. Why don't they give us money? We like the thing We talked about the thing give us money. That's right guys There's only three hours before the delivery cutoff for Christmas on this puzzle

So we got to get this going right now Feldman Feldman, Let's go. Let's let's do some moving or some shaking Let's make something happen here. Get me a puzzle Feldman. I have not I have not yet caught up to the most recent episode of Hard knocks I have enjoyed hard knocks, but what do the group of you do with the following Tyree killed came here to Get start them and to sports wash some of his past, and he's largely done that, where he is a star talking about him for MVP and very few people bring up horrifying details about his domestic abuse past. And it seems like Sports has moved on to celebrate Tyrick Hill for being super fast. And we moved on like him fast.

Yeah, because he scored a lot of touchdowns. That's right. And now he's being featured on Horde Knox, which you can also find on Max, just like us. That's correct. And as he's being featured, the one I saw, I haven't seen the most recent ones, was a very loving look.

The optics were chef's kiss on what I would want. If I were his agent or anyone who cared about Tyree Kill, that's what I would want. If I were his agent or anyone who cared about Tyree Kill, that's what I would want. Go into his living room, watch him connecting with his new bride, tell the story of love, and don't touch too much on anything from the past. But now you're seeing reports of two paternity suits, three children in this year

and seven children overall. And I'm asking you genuinely as this whole climate of media and documentary changes so that the access, what you get in exchange for Tyree Kill and access to him, is you're gonna tell the story the way he wants it told, the way the way the NFL wants it told. But what do you do with those headlines up against?

Just learning about these headlines, by the way. It's not something that I've even seen on social media. I don't really do much because I mean, what I do with paternity suits is I let those things play off. I think very much that falls in line with private life. If there was illegalities involved, I think that is worth a discussion, but he's newly married too.

I think when we apply context there, that matters. I don't really have much to say about Tyree Kill in this latest news stream. I have as someone that's experiencing this from afar and seen plenty of people, how can you not root on this offense and he's at the forefront of it? A lot of people forgot. A lot of people, how can you not root on this offense and he's at the forefront of it? A lot of people forgot.

A lot of people who felt strongly about the Dolphins pursuit, reported pursuit of Dishon Watson and not that these are the same things are cheering on Tyree Kale as he rushes into the end zone, being faster than everybody else. It's just fandom. When I see these headlines though and I See the max story one of them seems true the other does not Don Lebertard. God doesn't even know what this list is. He was ahead of Tom Brady who also won a playoff game A couple. Yeah, that was literally the most confusing list. We've ever done But he's got a better shot.

Oh, come back. Oh, my man. She's got a good leader. I'm mad. I'm angry. I would have leaned. Still gots. This would have been your day.

You should own the sports media landscape right now. I am. Top seven guys. I would not want the child. No. Oh, no. No. No.

I'm not allowing it. That's okay. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, gonna mic Dan. Almost, I have to hold out fit on rabble there. Jess, you're gonna have to be micing Dan. I can't be reaching over the board like that. This outfit has to make it to two o'clock. You are a mess. What's the matter with you? You're wearing that burgundy. You're wearing the...

Gained a lot of weight since what most people in our audience might describe as my heyday. And good news for me is I've lost 25 pounds. Thank you, O'Zimpick. But, you know, kind of plateaued in the holiday season. I've bulked up too. So, the good news is the pants actually fit well. It's just everything else.

It's a little tight. You're squeezed into it. Jessica, have you noticed? He's moving very rigidly. Who's the best? Did you guys have a contest between who goes first through fourth on how good your costume is? You're so horny for us right now.

It's crazy. I'm actually now feeling very relieved my Veronica Corning Stone costume didn't come in time. That's too bad. I didn't realize it was supposed to be five of you. Yeah, but you do think it's too bad. Dan was't realize it was supposed to be five of you. Yeah, but I bet you do think it's too bad. Dan was just in the corner taking pictures. It was weird.

To send to McKay, I thought he would be flattered. His response was, that's how my soul feels. Well, it sounds like a Hollywood cabal. It's definitely out there. That's pretty cool. What does that actually mean? That's how my soul feels. I don't know, but I'm checking flight logs right now.

He's very worried about everything. He is worried about the climate. He's worried about politics and and he's hurting in general. But I would say to you when Stugat's is now paying attention to the climate and Stugat is sending me texts about the ocean floor springing a leak. Which way? Up or down? Well, there are bubbles coming up, so I'm going to zoom it up. It's tectonic plates that have shifted in now water that isn't supposed to be, you know, it's not supposed to be an ocean floor with a leak.

It's not actually a leak, what it is is a spring. So it's sprung a spring. The ocean floor has, and it brings the potential for Earthquake. Billy, do you think Sircach just watched the Meg because this is the plot line to the Meg? Was the Meg too good? I can't stop. The trench.

I cannot stop stopping on it. If I'm flipping through the channels, I will stop every time because, okay, here's Statham and he's on a jet ski and it's a giant, giant shark and okay, you know, okay, you got me, I'm sorry. It's also historically in cinema, how a Kaiju appears.

The Meg trailers are great because it looks like it's gonna be a really, really scary movie and then a giant shark appears. Yeah. Do you guys think that the shark movie was made correctly the first time and every single time after that has been less than the first time? Do you believe that JAWS, the original, is the best of the genre, 50 years of genre that

it has spawned? Just sucks. Just sucks. Yeah, just sucks. I don't think it's aged well, like animatronically. Yeah, not at all. I mean, the shark looks sick, really fake. They build some great suspense, and they did the music well.

They did the genre well, like you said. But overall, we could probably continue to make more. No one's done better. What's the better shark movie? The Meg 2. Shark the Meg 2. Shark Nate. Oh, thank you, Tony. Shark Nate 02. Shark Nate 03. Shrouders. one's done better what's the better shark movie the mech to shark the mech to shark Nate oh thank you to me to shark nato three rounders

they birth the genre they didn't invent just because you got their first doesn't mean it's the best exactly I didn't say they invented sharks they invented sharks as a reason to further tell shark stories. I'm stunned to hear you guys say that Jaws socks put it on the pole, does Jaws hold up and put it on the pole as well? Does Jaws still represent the best of the shark genre? Here's the thing, if you have a movie that can transcend time, right, the or ride at Universal or at Disney will stay there.

All of a sudden, guess what's not there anymore? Jaws, why? Why is it gone? Because it sucks. It scared the hell out of me as a kid. Wait, what did they put there? Now it's like the train station for the Harry Potter trip as it should be.

Oh, yeah. To be fair though, that particular thing at Disney World felt dated just like the shark universe. It felt like it was out of the 90s. It was modern for the 90s. It wasn't modern anymore. Oh man, if I could go back to the 1992 version of Universal Studios, I would sign up for that in a heartbeat.

It was a perfect park. I'm with you on that actually. The Jurassic Park ride is still there, right? Yeah, yeah. See? There you go. There's a new Jurassic World ride too. Is there? Yeah, it's a roller coaster. It's really great.

ETs still there, but ETs can't contractually ever leave. That's right. It's a fascinating part about that. Yeah, they can't. And Lord knows they probably wanted to. They cannot because of the deal that they made with Spielberg. Get rid of that ride. However, just adjacent to it,

the revamping that whole like, Fifle Playland and Curious George into a DreamWorksland. And let's not forget, Universal's Epic Universe, a whole new park, a whole brand new park with several islands, and that's not islands of adventure that's gonna be debuting. I think in 2025.

Do you think they regret that name because like they named it when epic was a thing and then they named it epic universe and it's been like years with this been under construction and no one says epic anymore. Billy, is there anything you you miss more from Disney than the ability to get free into these parks now on on flea universe? There's nothing I miss more and I tied my children very poorly because I lost my Disney passes and it is quite pricey to take your children to the parks. But you know what I was thinking, Dan,

now that the suits are in town, maybe that's like a perk we can add next year. You know what I mean? This is the end of the year. This is one of those things we talk about. Maybe everyone just gets annual passes to theme parks as part of their arrangement. How about we get a 401k match for a spilling?

Is the mummy still there? Yes, the mummy is such a great roller coaster. So underrated. And also they had already tried to reboot the franchise with Tom Cruise and that failed. So it's weird seeing skinny Brendan Frazier. But he's an Oscar winner now. So how can you get rid of an Oscar winner's ride? What what's your rip-right rocket song everybody on three one two three Shiny toy guns

Ladisco Paralyzer by finger 11 Billy go go sit in the penalty box. I don't think I understand the question I also did sabotage by BC boys. That's one of the options. Did you know you can get secret songs if you hold down One of the Ten seconds it unlocks a whole other selection of songs. It's awesome. Yeah, yeah, there's a whole bit of this goes on. It's great. Uh-huh. Hit that, Shay. Rip right rocket.

Florida segment that we've ever done on this show. It's so great. Billy, get out of here. Why? Somebody writes in, what's up with people wearing costumes on this show? You don't get the show. We're forced to against our will. All to play to our bosses, kinks.

Can you get for me, please, the still shot of Brian Kelly attempting to do the Heisman pose? I will get to that in a second, but before we do so, I just wanted to tackle something else that someone has written in. Everything I'd like to know, I genuinely like to know what the audience, especially the audience, given that most of it has come with us and is just generally aligned with who we are, otherwise why the hell are you listening to this thing every day. But someone writes in, everything anyone on the

show ever says politically comes from whatever the media safe center left line of the day is. They never have anything to say that is different or contrary to that in any way, in either political direction away from whatever the media safe perfectly politically correct line of the day is. They think people hate their politics because they're freedom fighters, but really they're just extremely boring and unoriginal when talking politics. I would cop to that actually I Would say to you that my politics are simply and I don't understand how it is that it gets distorted

Can we be decent and not racist and sexist to people like that's what's passes for a political stance from me now these days, that where I am consistently is just there. It's like, okay, we disagree on vaccines and max is okay, but science kind of told me that the best for community good was to, I'm sorry, make you feel pressured when you didn't want to put something in your body. And that stinks. I understand how you wouldn't want someone like me telling you what to put in your body

because science tells me that it's for the greater community good. But am I wrong when I say that the politics of mine or what gets extended to our show is some form of, can we just be pro-decency to people? I personally am not overtly political. It's just things like truth and decency have since become politicized.

And I will tell you, flatly it's because the right it has just thumbed its nose at things like fact-based media and at times science, although we're quite removed from that discussion. I don't want to conflate the two things. But yeah, I'm all about being decent to people, and it seems as though the platform's increasingly

on one side of the spectrum don't really care for that. So yeah, I guess I'm political now because social issues are deemed political. Okay, but I'm virtue signaling, and I'm grandstanding by saying, just can we be nice to others? People that maybe don't come from the same places or the same backgrounds as you.

Can we, if you object to me saying, hey, can we be equal? Not threatening you, not yelling at anybody. If you object to the idea of, can we all be equal? Then can we agree on a working standard for what it is to be decent to others? It's sort of, I feel like my political stance is basically, hey, don't be an asshole to the server.

Like just don't be an asshole to the restaurant server. Is this all because of that loser Aaron Rogers? Well, you're not helping. That's why I came in. Justice for Nick Baudin, by the way, the only thing we could say good about Rogers yesterday was, oh, he's a good teammate, he's been helping everybody out. You know what, someone got cut yesterday

because he wants to hang out and look cool at practice. It's ridiculous. You're not helping matters here. I think it's gonna be cool when he trots on the field that week 18 to throw a seven-match lead. Take a knee. A bubble screen. Yeah, but that is a massive achievement.

We've never seen someone tear their killies within one year. Twice. Yeah, and it's gonna be cool to see. I can separate some of that stuff when it comes to Aaron. It is a pretty cool achievement if he does it. I wouldn't call him a loser. See, you're not helping Matterson, Jeremy. It's a super bowl champion.

Yeah, it's cool. He's good at his job. He's a loser. Oh, I just stop it. It's not biased whatsoever, Jeremy. You don't worry. He's not a loser. I just don't agree with a lot of the things he says. He likes attention. Can we all agree on that? He loves having his name in the new cycle. It's a lie to us. Unscrutinized over and over. Okay. Doesn't like some attention.

I would accuse everyone on this show of that. Like, why'd we get into the vanity business? I'd accuse everyone. I don't know what you're talking about, Dan. This is selfless. I wear costume every day, not for attention. I, uh, whenever I'm asked about whether or not it bothers me that people come up because they think they know you on television. And I'm like, well, if I didn't want that, I wouldn't be on television.

Like, we all like some form of attention. Like, I don't talk to Mike if you see him ever. Never. Yeah. We're interrupting my dinners. That's a new thing. Stop it. Inherrupped your dinners level of fame.

You know, it's like a nice gentleman in a Buzz Light Ear hoodie. Who's probably listening to this right now. And I'm sorry. Disney Springs? No, this was at the other Mexican restaurant I'd up got. The one that was Basite. And my wife was talking about my daughter's bathroom habits and a gentleman in a Buzz Lightyear hoodie was looking at her

and she, I was looking, I was hanging on every word about this conversation about poop. And my wife just, in the distance says, are you looking at me that way because I just spelled out the word poop? And a guy in a Buzz Lightyear hoodie says, no, I'm sorry, I know you don't like this. And I know you're having dinner, but I'm a huge fan of the show.

And I turned to him and I said, no, it's okay, man. And yet you're here. All right, be decent to people. As I mentioned, Billy also I laughed because as Mike was seriously giving his point on politics, dressed as anchor man, you in the background, were in the penalty box dancing in front of universal Don lebertard. We got a freini hardaway Oh, it's a freini hardaway I was trying to read fast you deem is on the team

Luke Jackson Bobby Jones the matrix. Marion stu-gats So shacks much Parker Chris Quinn D. Wade Jason Williams to roll right. I mean stacked roster. This is the down lebertar show with a stu-gats Can you might goddamn please Can you mic God down please? I know, it's not his fault. I'm not blaming him. Just kidding.

I think I'm just kidding, please. Jesus Christ. Can you guys be ready and help mic back there please? Because mic is under it right now. Lucy, what are you making faces about here? I'm just a girl, Dan. I really... You're asking a lot for me today.

Okay, alright. I don't feel like I've asked for that much, but mic crying is in a girl Dan. I really, you're asking a lot for me today. Okay, all right. I don't feel like I've asked for that much, but Mike Ryan is in a sausage suit, a burgundy sausage suit that is very tight. I believe, what are you laughing about, Tony? Sausage suit. I mean, it is. He looks at the color of a sausage.

But it's also, he's uncomfortable in it. He's moving around in what feels like sausage skin that's gonna break, correct? You feel like it's also a cheap costume, is it not? It's like that's not in a very... That's not too bad, but I don't like being at work in costume. I think you've gathered that from my lack of participation. It's not my favorite thing.

I like to be comfortable at work. I'm very uncomfortable right now, although my posture is impeccable. Lucy, Jessica, I don't know if Anker Man is something that's before your time I think there were a handful of people saying that they had not seen Anker Man in the other room. Do you guys have a ranking system on who looks best here who's produced the best costume? I think it would be Tony right? Yeah. Yeah I feel like Tony is here no one.

If there's a way for us to make this a contest and call that a day, I'm good. Yeah. Tony wins. We need to see, okay. All right. No, that's not how it works. No, it's no.

It's four hours. I'm ready and no. It's four hours of punishment. I want to see Jare Barragan with the wig on. Yeah. We will do that in a moment. I have to, I do have to tell the group say less. In general, I think that's something people would like for me lately.

I have to tell the group about something that I believe you guys will be shocked by, even though it's very hard to shock you when it comes to Stugot's bad behavior. I've got an investigation I'm conducting now that the suits are in town for the holidays and stuff. I've learned something. What are you shaking your head about, Billy? I just don't want to hear it. Whatever it is.

I think you're going to be shocked by it too, but perhaps you won't be. Perhaps you guys will marvel at the general grift. I have something that you may be shocked by that we can talk about off here that I found out last week. Yeah. Does it have to be off air? Can it be on air? Do we run the risk of really pissing Stu Gotts off because some of his behavior is so bad. He's gone until like a couple of weeks for now.

So I don't think he's going to hear it. Okay. You don't think he's listening intently caring about the show deeply when he's away? I think we were both victims of uh... the old switcher from him on the same day last week one day oh no he's been doing he has been doing lately the move that i did in college where i would miss classes because i was working for the newspaper but i would also tell the newspaper i had classes and so i think

what stugots has been consistently doing is getting out of here early or cutting corners by telling me he has something that he has to do for you and telling you that he has something he has to do for me when neither of those things are true. Absolutely correct, because that happened last Thursday I believe where I was called very early by him for an interview that shall remain nameless at the time.

And he said, hey, I know we have something because here's the thing. I try to be very conscientious of the main show and the schedule. And I try to schedule things as far out as possible while, so like, you know, within a certain window and obviously sometimes things come up at the last minute. So then we have like certain conflicts, whatever. But I try to schedule everything like as far off as possible to give us wheel room, give them travel time. Should he choose to go home? So this was one of those times where we had something scheduled at two o'clock and you guys were doing something

at one o'clock and he's like, hey buddy, I'm gonna need you to do that interview by yourself if you can, it really saved me. You know Dan really wants me to stay for this interview and I'm gonna help him with this. And it really wouldn't mean a lot. And I was like, okay, finally. And I'm a little peeved and a little irked.

But by the way, spoiler for God, but football's two guys says, no, what the word irked means. And I learned that this morning, because when you go to a haunted house and the ghost comes out and you get irked. So anyway, so I was a little bit irked at the moment about this situation, and then later on,

we had another situation with an interview, and then when we were recording something the next day, someone says something like, oh, you weren't there for that. I go, what do you mean he wasn't there for that? He told me he couldn't do this thing because he was saying, no, buddy, I told you that. I didn't know that.

And this is whole thing. And then I was, this is the first time we're having this conversation. The reason I think that he missed that was to do something with me, that he missed because he was doing something with you. I feel genuinely bad for Billy on a number of different fronts here. I will reveal company business in ways that might be uncomfortable for, before I get to really revealing company business, get me John Reed from video because I need to ask him some questions in front of you guys to,

to I believe shock all of you because I couldn't believe it when the suits came in and explain this to me. But Billy, one of the reasons I feel bad for Billy is because Billy, it's not just chasing stugots around, it's that Billy has really tried because the last 18 months have been hard on me to leave me out of all of the things that have been happening that make Billy have a lesser standing with the executives around here because I don't know where this is going, but let's talk to John Reed. He's in here.

Stugots is shit sticks to Billy and poor Billy ends up getting drowned in it. Yes, John, you are now here and what I want to know is, what can you tell me about Stugots' secret Santa white elephant gift? We did it at the holiday party. That may have been the day, Billy, that may have been the day that Stugots left early because he missed the holiday party, but he did manage to do something at the holiday party to make his presence felt and to cost the company money. Well, I had never planned on telling you anything prior to now

and seeing all the executives here in town and receiving an email from a counting and I'm ready to snitch. Okay, yeah, I'm sorry to blame you. That's a bad question. Yeah, well, hold on. Thank you. He told everyone by the way that you told him he didn't have to stay for the holiday party.

Well, he asked to leave, and I told him. And that was presented. I mean, it's big surprise. None of this is surprising so far. He's a rap scaling. No, but what about this part? I think this part is gonna be surprising because this part was even surprising to me,

and I've lived with this for 20 years. Look at Jessica. Jessica, what do you want this to be? Before, I want some dramatic build up here, because John, I appreciate you snitching here, because the way this information got to me, my mouth was just hanging open because I couldn't believe the shamelessness of it. Billy, why is... I want gossip drama

mess alright that's what i would be anything okay uh... well let's take some get before let's let's milk this a little bit go ahead mike you've got you're asking for guesses i think he tried to expensive holiday present a hundred percent well what was his holiday present he wasn wasn't here. He did not participate in the way that's that's it. That's a twist. I think he bought a present and decided to keep it for himself and still try to expense. We workshopped an idea for him earlier in the day because he didn't have a present where he was going to take one loose cigarette and

put it in an envelope and make that his white elephant gift, which honestly would have been great, but I don't think that ended up happening okay just so that people know the holiday party party was lovely was i actually felt like a about the happy company place where music was playing greg kody got his gift stolen ten different times somehow i've never seen that happy and uh... happened before and security card frankie just reminded everyone at every return that they could a steal the gift uh... but in the middle of this what was the gift that stugots eventually either had or submitted does anyone

remember which stugots gift there was because i do not remember his presence being felt there in any way well that should have been two gifts a ton a Tony Kucoz jersey and a bunch of candles from bad bath and beyond. Well, this is one of the things that happened that made me, it delighted me with Greg Cody. It's not just that he got his gift stolen ten times. It's that he ended up with a candle at the end, which is like the most thoughtless way to go by gift giving.

I love candles. Sean Bautos. I am those are bad. No, no. I love candles. It's just an easy way to buy anyone in the world a gift without having to know that person at all. I like candles too.

But in a white elephant, you don't know who's getting the gift. So it's a good generic. Here's a candle. I actually... Spoken like someone who bought a candle. I bought a candle and then stole it back because I wanted the candle that I bought That is correct They're lovely. I'm just saying I I every year with my wife

I'm deciding well, what do we get that person who wants to think that we were thinking about them But we really weren't but you buy those candles that have the diamonds inside of them. Oh, no the giant candles are nice The giant the big giant candles are nice. The giant, the big giant candles are absolutely a thoughtful gift. Dan has candles that are a size we couldn't dream of. That is correct. Giant candles. So many wicks. John, can you explain to me though how you got ensnared in this particular web? I don't understand how you're involved with any of this. A rennet to stew gots in the kitchen and he basically had me to go out and purchase two gifts for him for the white elephant party.

Like you're his administrative assistant? Yes, but I didn't mind at the time, but now I realize it was bad. Okay, so wait a minute, so, so, wait a minute. He ensnared you in something that feels a bit like a crime now. You're an accomplice to a crime. I didn't even realize it reached this deep. So he sent you on an assignment and didn't give you any money. Basically, I created Digital Fraud by using a company's credit card

by Buena Gift, which we were supposed to use. I was getting yourself a job, though. My personal card and I screwed up. It was a school. Now this is even more information than I knew. God, I'm giving this information. No, he's not the boss. As John's attorney right now, De facto, he is not going to say another word.

Daniel, you look like a detergent. All right, John. I'm sorry I put you in this. Personal injury attorney, Tony. You will not be saying no. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Dan, grant him immunity so we can get the story. Dan, don't, Dan, call it.

It's your call, please. Say it to him immunity. And then we'll get all the immunity information. Clear immunity on everything. Think, I will, what are you looking at me? Maybe stole a cat at some point. Whatever, all immunity. Just physically uncomfortable.

I feel like if someone shot me, the bullet would bounce off. That's how tight this outfit is. You're physically uncomfortable, not with the story. No, no, no, I mean, telling. I can't physically off. That's how tight this outfit is. You're physically uncomfortable not with the story. No, no, no, I mean, I can't physically squirm because of how tight this costume is, but I would be. I have to gather myself.

Immunity. I'm not giving it yet, and I'm not giving it that easily for a certain reason, okay? We'll trade. We'll trade something else. By Sue Godch's just approaching John Reed and saying, hey, go fetch me. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable.

It's unbelievable. But you understand that I am presently getting more information than I had. I thought this was one kind of very simple thing. I did not think it rose to the level of crime. Immunity. I did not think it rose to the level of John Reed being ensnared in both administrative assistant

and possibly building the company money on gifts that I have yet not seen and don't know how expensive they are. By the way, I'm willing to pay for this and put it on my own card. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, place than I thought. We find out if Stugots is in Stair John Reed and a crime next!