The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Awkward Handshake

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

The Miami crew kicks off the Big Suey by updating the Polls from the week, listening to sound of Don La Greca ripping Mad Dog Russo, and dishing out this week's picks for Thursday Thunder. Then, we head to Los Angeles with Dan, Mike Ryan, Mike Golic Jr., and Brad Williams. Brad and GoJo discuss the dynamics of their awkward handshake before Brad shares the revelation that he is *not* good at comedy. He and GoJo discuss what it's like to watch the best-of-the-best in their professions and how it shapes their own self-perception. Plus, what would you do if you didn't have internet to call an Uber and weren't within walking distance of where you needed to be? It's story time with Dan Le Batard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Welcome to the big suite presented by Giraffe King. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries

that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys. I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, that face and the habitual liar. All right, we need to get to the polls here. We will get to those in just a second. We have Thursday, Thunders as well.

I'm not here on Thursdays normally, so I don't know what that means, what we do, how we do it. I mean, I'm not here on Thursdays. Good sell. I just say we're going to do it in toss it in the middle of the day. I was just saying, I just, for you guys, I was telling you that I'm not normally here,

so I don't know how we do this. You said it to us all fair as well. Yeah, I did. Well, I wanted to say it again, in case you weren't listening. It's a Thursday parlay that we do, Stuyots. Okay. And it's been decent, obviously. Okay, I don't know. Oh, there's a big prize at the end.

I know, that's the other one. We should do polls, though, first, I think. Wanna do polls? Oh, all right. polls are more feeling like the show. Let's do it. And the polls are brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. Epic razors, epically affordable. find them in stores or online. Okay. You got the polls?

Yeah, you want me to do them? I'm here. You ready? Bill is like, I'm not usually here. I don't know how this works. Wait, I'm not here on Thursdays. I don't know how the polls are. I understand that. I'm not either. Well, you, you, historically are the one that read the polls. I'll read them. Yeah. But you said before the segment started, you the polls. I mean yeah, all right what's in brats 70.5% of the audience said yes 29.5 said no our polls are wacky that seems that way does Josh McDaniels always go back to New England with Brian Hoyer 95.7% of the audience said yes. Really? Yeah, same thing that's at high. That's right.

Does Mike McDaniel look too cool for school? 71.6% of the audience said yes. What game should Lucy go to this weekend? Oregon versus Utah, Georgia versus Florida. Georgia versus Florida, 157.9%. Nice, at the landing. Who to the police hate more Maddog or David Samson. This is a good one

Maddog wins which is weird because the Diamondbacks were ones that hated mad dog I guess they would hate mad dog because he inspired the Diamondbacks. Oh, we're cool Anyways, did Chris Cody play center for the dolphins last week? 78.6% of the audience said yes. Wow. You did play. Congratulations. Yeah. How's that game check? Big one. My man. What's the matter with you? I have two more Billy clips that just get out of here. Why? I don't know. All right. Billy was on the call for the FIU game last night. They lost. They have it scored a point in the first quarter

of either of the games the Billy is called. Here's another clip. First in 10. Jenkins steps up in the pocket, floats it, intercept it. Oh, no, oh, dropped at the final moment. My goodness. Don't worry, did that last game. He yelled in reception.

And then it was not, I was Tarnu, the junior defensive back. It should have been intercepted. It makes you feel any better. It was on a platter for him. You know what? Maybe the weather conditions came in the way. The slippery football was raining half an hour ago. So that that's certainly unlike,

oh, no, a trip here from Lawrence Hmm weather Droped interception in a turf monster Why are they entertaining you the old turf monster that one felt good if I'm a because I botched that intercept No, but I would just see someone like a professional could do a team. Right. I love you as the KG VAD who is called somebody games. You're in the broadcast booth and you're soothing them when they make a mistake. Well, we're a team. Right.

We're a team. Right, you're a team player. Well, it did look like it could have been an interception, but it fell. And last time there was a ball that looked like it was intercepted and it wasn't and I botched it. Yeah. But that was nice of you to say, hey, don't worry about it.

I did it last game. Weather came and he wants to do that for a living. You realize that, right? Well, they're saying I don't. Yeah, that I did it last game. Weather came and he wants to do that for a living. You realize that right? They're saying I don't. Oh, yeah, that's right, Sue. Right, Billy's trolling is being a color comment. Yeah, maybe it is. He's great.

Well, I actually went yesterday and I tried to print out because I noticed that when they call the games and I've seen in all the pictures that like the football broadcasters have like this empty grid where they have like the number in each position and it's like depth charts. And I was, as well as going in a suit yesterday I was going to print out one of those grids all filled out to show them

But I couldn't figure out where to get a blank one and I didn't want to ask them and be embarrassed by that I actually almost reached out to go to make it go to you know this thing I don't know what it's called, but like you guys that do it for real. Where do I get one of those like the charts and stuff? Yeah, but I don't want to bother him. Do you have a guy like spotting for you in the booth? No, we didn't. So last time Taylor actually was acting somewhat as a spotter and we had like a split booth where we had the opposing

team's radio broadcast and we had like a divider in between us and like they were really loud. Sometimes like the call would pick up their call, right? So we, it was really easy because we would just overhear everything that they were saying. So like, there was a guy called. It's like, Heating stats that you did so well today. 100%.

Yeah, the guy who was calling his 500th game, they were like, super professional about it. And like, they were like, oh, it looks like blah, blah, blah. It's injured. And I'm like, oh, I don't know if you guys caught on, but it looks like blah, blah, blah. It's injured. I was just repeat everything.

Did you repeat if the meals there eat? I made that one up. I made that one up. I'm fighting for real estate. That's a great, that's a great turn. So they asked me, they asked me for my keys to the game and I just looked up football cliches and then I made up the, you don't say they made up

the meal on the plate. Wait, didn't know. You're gonna left that part out. Yeah. Can we hear the keys to the game first again? No, I just want to hear the keys. No, you can't go back to that. I got one more here.

Let's give you the final clip That could be sneak so tough officials can't actually see anything. They're just guessing and Benefit of the doubt was given there to Jack State who's run the ball well enough. It's quite the accusation Second and ten Lewis. I'm noticing a theme here. It's just they do it and then Billy gives a snarky remark Not always You just noticed and then Billy gives a snarky remark. Not always. You hear it just notice, don't you? That's a broadcaster and it's just like, man, that's not so sure about that.

No, no. Taylor's freaking in choosing. No, he's not. Yeah. Every single one is what you said you didn't do that much of, but it feels like every time he sends something, well, it's a three hour game, there's hundreds of calls. Right.

Stu got it's hot off the press. I'm being told we have good sound of Don LaGrecca, ripping Matt Dogg for his retiring, unretiring. Really? So I feel like we just whenever that happens, we have to stop everything and play the clip. Get to it. Hit out. Why can't we be critical? If he was right here, we could be critical. I've lost a lot. I did. I can't lose respect for somebody. I know the guy personally. I lost some respect for them That's your elder in all No, he's my colleague. He's a contemporary. I'm sorry. No, I don't kneel and base a human being I don't have to bow down and kneel to anybody David get lost go scratch

Give me a break they open the door we kicked it down All right, that was Dan, this is now. Enough already. I'll sit there and bow down to anybody. I like him, but I lost some respect for him. Why would, let me ask you this, why would this deity, this God that we got a break to, have to do a stupid little college gimmick

to get attention. Why? He's Christ Rousseau, he's God, he floats on air. Why would he have to do a stupid little college gimmick to get attention. Why? He's Chris Russo, he's God, he floats on air. Why would he have to do some stupid, like guarantees gonna retire, and then rescind it immediately, like a weakling? Why would he have to do that if he's Christ? Why?

Let's go. Break it down, Billy. Let's go. Yeah, yelling in the background, let's go. It's so great. People getting mad at him and wanting him to retire is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Like he's yesterday.

He should retire. He said he should retire. He's like, yeah, okay, so he's going to just pass up millions of dollars because the diamond backs made it to the world series. That's one of the dumbest things. I mean, he did say he would do that. Who cares?

Clearly, like, who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? You do sports radio long enough and he's done it for 30 years 40 years You know eventually what you're gonna say is hey if this happens I retire. Hey, right do it this weekend for something Okay, let me think It's like you send the hey should I bring my kid in you know you're not gonna do it

You know our response is gonna be no Russo put out something where you everyone knew he wasn't gonna do it Yeah, and the fact that down the Greka thought he actually was, that's on the Greka. I lost respect for La Greka. Whoa. Wow. Another him. Well, that, but the funny thing is. Oh, yeah.

Don, please. Let's go. I lost respect. It's donkey alone. Okay. Well, mad dogs are really sad now that you've lost respect for. Maybe he's going to go back and retire so that he gains respect back. I mean, get out of here. Who cares? Why does Don care so much? I don't. Does Don care that much. Don did not like the idea that he was called his elder and that Don like, that's just set him off. He

really didn't like that. He said, bow, bow to me. I don't do that. Like, he's my colleague, my temperate like, yeah, floating on air. All All right, I gotta say Christ. He said, yeah. What's the biggest spread in the NFL this weekend? Oh, so. Do you guys know? This is when we all look at our phones. Sorry, sorry. I'm trying to think of something where I could say,

yeah, if this happens, I'm gonna retire. How about this, we have Thursday Thunder. Why don't you say if Thursday Thunder doesn't hit you'll retire? Dolphins minus nine at home against the Patriot. Thursday Thunder hits not very frequently. So I would say don't hold it to that. That's hard, betting's hard.

Well, thanks for that setup Billy, because it's time for Thursday Thunder. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. We are going to Tony this week because we trust Tony for this type of thing. They're gambling expert.

Game is a winner last night. Yeah, yeah. And Thursday Thunder is brought to you by Draft King Sportsbook. Use code Dan when you sign up on the app for a limited time offer for new customers. All right gang, just came out of the kitchen. Hot and fresh. This Thursday Thunder is ready to go. We learned our lesson from last week.

We love QB rushing overs. There are cars over yesterday or last week on Thursday, was one yard. He hit it. Now we're going back to the same well, Josh Allen. Over 21 and a half rushing yards for Josh Allen is the first leg of our car. Second leg. All right.

This game, Sneaky Shootout. I think both teams are ready for offense. Interesting. I think Josh Allen and Barris from last week, interesting, is going to put it on the box. Sneaky Shootout. I didn't know you knew the game yet. I didn't know if he had given the game yet.

He did. Yes, Thursday night game. Yeah, TNF, Thursday night game. Anyways, back half. That's right. That's right. Back half of the secondary for the Bills hurt. A lot of guys injured there on that defense.

We're going to go over Bills Box 43 and a half. 3rd leg. All the parlay. Dawson knocks his out, wrist injury, he's gonna be on IR. He's gonna have wrist surgery. That means Dalton King K. Their first round draft pick is stepping into a full time role for the Buffalo Bills. Three and a half is his receptions total.

We're gonna go over three and a half for Dalton King K. The boy those are our three legs Josh Allen over bucks bills over Dalton over Are if Stanford beats Washington, I'm gonna retire what? Washington almost lost the Arizona state last weekend. They did? Yeah, it was really close. I lost money on it. Uh oh. Can I take it back? Yeah, sure. Micro-painting shooting through like four interceptions, I think. Really?

It was not good. If the Patriots beat the dolphins in Miami, Dan will retire. Okay. Good. I mean, good for... Yeah, wait, what? Not for us. What? I didn't mean good. Well, you said good.

Well, I mean, that's a good one by Chris It was a good game to choose is what kick saving abuse. Yes, right? That's a way I didn't need to get some rest He's not the rebound. We're here. Why not? Danny's the rest. That mean cheese. That's all that's what I meant by good Two-week retirement. I know he's resting in LA. He is I think no That's a weird, uh, Sedona not to make it super sports. You feel like that's a weird spread, right? Dolphins nine and a half over the Patriots. That seems big. No. Dolphins are graded home. Dolphins have been really good at home. Look at the scores of the dolphin games at home. I'm with games, but it's a division game. That's a lot of points for a division

game. I'm with Patriot. Look good last week. Don't I mean they won a game last week. He keeps saying they look good. They did. I know but body of work has been bad. Nobody is looking at that Patriots team and thinking that they have any kind of offense. Oh, so if Mac Jones, if Mac Jones is fine, their offense is okay. Also, the dolphins go at 70 in a game this season. So yeah, but against the Broncos. Mac goes are terrible. He's like, really is on the Patriots. I'm just saying.

He's on the points. It's what is Vegas trying to trick us about? Because that's the whole game. It's us versus them. Yep, right? It shouldn't be the biggest spread of the weekend is what I'm saying. Like that seems weird today. What should be?

Okay, well, let's go. No, the Billy, they won all their home games by 21 plus points. You realize that. So Ravens at Cardinals minus eight and a half. Should that be bigger? Okay. Well, Chris says that, you know, Tyree Kuhlmatt not even play. So right. Chargers. I said last time I said that I was wrong. This one I feel better about. What was the one last week? You said you confirmed that Trevor Lawrence would not play and then he started that. Then he started at one. This time I was smarter. I said that he's questionable and likely not to play. Can I ask you guys a question said that he's questionable and likely not to play.

Can I ask you guys a question? If he's not playing, I would take it right now on that risk. I honestly might take it right now just because it'll move if he gets rolled out. That's what I'm saying. Right. You take the points. You're taking the patch right now. If you're expecting Tyreeke not to play and that has a nice amount.

It goes like plus six and a half. It's plus nine and a half. Take it right now. There's no way that the line moves three points with a wide receiver. But it'll move down a little. What if Waddle's not not there because he heard his back Go down to seven and a half like eight all the all the top guys sportsbooks say the the biggest line moors are quarterbacks Obviously, but that a wide receiver a offensive lineman defense a lot those kind of things don't

The lineman don't they don't move the needle they really don't this is the best play non-quarterback division best player in football Yes, I agree everyone saying I'm with you How much take him out of the equation that offense does it does it seem to be nearly as high It's been I know but waddles banged up to he is how much of the line move with Purdy That I don't know we are getting into the X's I want to ask you guys a question. He didn't concussion protocol. It's he is half right now Yeah, let's go three and a half. Maybe you moved down from five,

I think it was five and a half earlier when it opened. My question for you guys is, I'm staring at the topic sheet that we have here and I did not listen to anything that was said in the meeting. Yeah, you're not great at those meetings. Why is there a question that says, should Brock Perty retire? I would assume that's probably a joke someone may

because of the fact that when two of our concussions, they said to each other, that was a sarcastic question of who asked that people to it was Jeremy who's not here today. Uh, it was it was basically a sarcastic question of hey, why aren't people telling perty to retire because he's had three injuries and it granted not a head injury. Should he? Sure. Where do we land on that?

We're just asking the question. We're just workshop. Did he ever get Tommy John to fix his UCL or not? TJ. Did he? I saw on Beaum his UCL or not? TJ, did he? I saw on Beaumani's podcast, it's all you had for ya. He just gave me like a shrug on radio. I saw Nick Wright and Beaumani Jones doing the,

they proposed a trade in the NFL, Brock Purdy for Kurt Cousins straight up. Niners would do that. Niners would be, would be. The Niners were the ones that they said wouldn't do it because of how much money, because of how cheap, pretty is, and how not cheap cousins is.

Right. That the Vikings would do that, because then you get a younger guy who could be your next guy. I'm not sold on pretty though. I'm sold on Kirk Cousins. He's the first ballot hall famer recording the billy.

But all of a sudden, like Cousins has in a sweet spot right now, where he's the good quarterback on a team that's bad, so people are like, he could be sneaky good, but it's like, if you threw him on the Niners, all of a sudden, is he a, is he a Super Bowl winning quarterback? A bunch multiple 100% if he goes to the 49ers, he will be a first battle. Hall of Famer.

But fair. Yeah, because if he goes and he let's he goes, he gets super balls. It's Kirk presence wins two Super Bowls in his career, which is unlikely because first ballot. He probably has five or six years left. He's on good teams though.

No, not like that. Not the Niners, Chris. Obviously, not the Niners, but good teams. Well, the question though, with Kirk Cousins on the Niners, and it's something that Chris himself has told us is, Cousin and a hand doesn't want someone that wants to be the guy. He wants someone to fit his system. So if Kirk Cousin wants to be the guy, he may not fit that system. Right. He wants what he has now in pretty or a garapolo type God. Yeah. He doesn't want a great quarterback.

Mm-hmm. I just love this conversation. So weird. I'm talking football. No, but it's so weird. Like, if Kirk does win two Super Bulls, he's a first-ball hall of famer. No question on my mind. Oh, isn't our most quarterback? Eli, Eli won two Super Bulls. He's not first ball, though. Yes, he is. Eli's a first-ball in hall Yes he is. Eli's the first ballad hallfamer. Yeah, check the score. Take it away Dan.

Ha ha ha ha. Don Lebatard. We like to call this one a chorus of Owen Wilson, ready? Stugats. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. This is the Don Lebatard show with the Stukats. The Brad Williams makes me laugh all the time, but rarely as much as when he's greeting Mike Goliak and they are doing that shoulder handshake. And Mike Goliak has to get down and Brad Williams has to climb up.

Why didn't you just go in for a straight handshake to say? Because then I, because then I nut tap them because if I go straight handshake, there's the possibility. And by the way, how much go, Joe, were you just holding back? You're like, if I go full shoulder into this guy, he may evaporate into skittles. I was more thinking on if I went to pull in because we went to the DAP with the hug. Yeah. And so there's that pull in the middle and I was like are we gonna airlift Brad right now? Is this gonna end up being like a swinging situation show football mentality low-man wins?

I'm not gonna let this guy be true I thought I'm just getting all the way down You got down pretty low. I thought you were gonna throw it back. I was Jason Kelsey Tush push Yeah, I was trying to get down on all fours there. there is good and now I'm realizing that I missed my calling as an O-Lineman. Scott, because you have no man wins. Brad Williams led Tushpush unstoppable. Well, not only was it funny because visually that was funny, you were also interrupting a story of Brad Williams kicking a one-legged man out of his last show.

That's the story that you interrupted. I did. I did. There is no love long between people who share parking in the handicapped space. He was gone. Get out of my show, sir. Now, did you know he was one legged before you kicked him out? I did not. I did not. So he was when he gets up. I was in bridgeport, Connecticut, and we're all we're all the one like people hang out. And the guy was talking way too much. And it's the worst kind of heckler to me.

I will gladly take a heck of that yells out, you more than a guy that loves me, but it's just talking too loud and commenting on every joke and be like, that's so true when you did that. Like, I'm a guy, I'm a man. That's a great joke, friend, Willie that like, that's a great joke, Brad Williams. Yeah.

It's like he's encouraging me, but it's like, it's like your mom clapping to loud in the stands. Like, mom, shut up. I can do this. And so, and I talked to him, he's like, yeah, I paid good money to get in here. And I like, you got to shut up. And I finally had to kick him out. So he stands up and he does the walk and when he walks, the pant leg goes up and I see

the shiny metal underneath and I'm like, oh, no, oh, no, no, no, no, no. And I kind of, and then because I can't filter thoughts, I go, you, you have one leg sir. Oh, so you just decided to play with cards. I let go and then he turns and goes, yep, and I was like, am I kicking out a soldier? Did you serve? And he goes, now car accident. And I'm like, okay, get out. I'm like, if it's a soldier, then yeah,

but I actually kept talking to him, and then because I felt bad, I invited him back. I invited him back and he sat down and we, and we proceeded with the show. But then it just kept going on his second chance to the point where now I see the faces of the people around him being uncomfortable. And I'm like, all right, well, now you, so I kicked him out again. No. I kicked him out again. And he gave me the whole like,

well, you know what, I'm going to pay for these tickets and I go and arm in the leg. Oh. Oh. So we kicked him out. And yeah, so I, I think, yeah. Congratulations.

My first congratulations. Oh, the most memorable days of my life when my daughter was born, my wedding day, and my first time came Nick's lap. Yes. Yes. I want to talk to you a little bit about comedy because you went and saw John Stewart and Jim Mulvaney as I like to call him. Mulvaney is a very good comedian.

But before we do that, in general, right, I see that four of the top five Netflix movies are now our rated comedies. There's a hunger for it. And the audience is rating Bill Burr's old dads very well, but the critics hate it. They're, yeah, that's kind of where you want to. That's a good sign. That's where you want to be if you're Bill Burr. But what, what did you get from watching? I didn't know that John Stewart was doing a lot of stand up these days. I didn't know either. And, and, and the tickets went on sale. And thankfully, I have a live nation rep who's doing my theater tour, which you can go to Bradleyam's comedy.com and get your tickets all over this great land of ours. Okay. There's my plug. And then

I have the same rep. So he got me tickets and I got to sit down and watch John Stewart and John Malini do stand up. And I'm just going to say this, I'm not good at comedy. I'm not good. They're very good. But the thing that made me happiest watching them do stand up is in the middle of, excuse me, John Stuart set a siren started going off in the lobby. I don't know if it's a fire alarm or some sort of siren went off in the lobby and it made me so happy because I'm like, you're at the highest level of this and you're still dealing with that. Like I, at the highest level of this and you're still dealing with that. Like I, he just like me for real. Yeah. Yeah. Like like that has happened to me to comedy club at standup live in Phoenix, Arizona. Sorry for my cough. Let me get you water. Yeah. That's okay.

Let's get bread some water. I'll fill a buster for you. No, I got it now. Let's get a water in a COVID test. Yeah. I got it. Close the door by the way. Yeah. And let's get some fans in here. It's circulating there. $15 and fine. You're going to have to. You're going to have to leave that. That's what it costs to do with Dan Hakeem. Next laugh.

But yeah, so I had a fire alarm go off once during a show. Nope, it's back. But I dealt with it the whole show. The whole show I was doing the fire alarm. I remember now I'm doing a cop. I was curious fire alarm. I remember now I'm getting caught. I was curious. Second time. I can tell you kids his, his coffee fits under control here.

When he mentioned he had that same sensation that I had certainly like as a player, which is one thing when you look and watch someone do something so much better that's technically the same skill set as you. But even now in doing the broadcasting job, like I have such a vivid memory since I call college football games in the analyst role of driving home one night from ESPN. And I was listening to Doris Burke on the radio call of an MBA finals game. And I'm listening to this. And I'm going just the way that she explains certain situations down the stretch. There were technical things in addition to her just her general thing where I'm like,

I'll never be that good at this thing that we're both technically the same job title at, but she is so infinitely better at. And so I was wondering as you're watching John Stewart and John Mulaney, like, is there something technically as a comedian outside of just great punchlines as Brad pays off, thankfully, many dollars and fine to those. Is there something technically when you're watching them that they do from a comedian standpoint that maybe inside that fraternity would be the things that you notice? Just, uh, just how they construct the bits, you can tell they're well written. There, there's

callbacks, there's setups. Uh, once, once they hit a, uh, um, Malini hit some punch line where I'm like, he set that up 15 minutes ago. Like he planted that seed that then that line came back. So yeah, just seeing all of that. And the fact that Malini just did a special. And so, and it was a widely regarded, a highly touted special. And the fact that he's already got about 35 minutes of great stuff. It already that's brand new. That, that's what angered me where I'm like, oh my, I felt, I felt something very close to all the other day watching Neil Brennan co-creator of Shepel show. Go into the comedy store, one and a half minutes before his set, pulled his car up, go on stage, crush for 16 minutes, 90 seconds after pulling up, and then leave

because he's just sharpening, sharpening material for a special. And one of the things that he did go, Joe, is that he was talking about mental health and athletes and took it a place that I hadn't thought of, which is you do realize that the very best of athletes, all of them are deeply, mentally unhealthy, that they can't be as great as they are

and keep competition of other crazy people down unless at the top of the food chain, obviously, is funnier, but this, I hadn't even considered the idea that you almost have to be a little bit Inbalanced in order to be excellent excellent at sports. I've always asked the question of would most people consider it worth it? When you really see that up close and personal what it takes from someone in order to achieve at that level when you've seen a great Player like that who has that obsession that clouds the rest of their life sometime affects the way that they are post career, the way we all think of Michael Jordan, when most people, if they got to see that up close, look at all

of what they got as a byproduct of being that great at the sport and say, is it worth it? Because there's just so much life after sports that can seem largely miserable sometimes when you've got that as the bad. What are you making face about? Because every time I have, you know, the algorithms get me and are always showing me, would you do this job for $50 an hour? And then, you know, it's somebody on the side of a skyscraper. Almost everybody listening to this, thinks they would take the trade of whatever the money in the glory is.

No, I was making that face because you said the, you said the words, was it worth it? I know a famous comedian, I won't say his name, but he got some death threats and they were, they were, they knew that they were possible. Like they were, it was definitely something that was credible. Incredible. That's the word. Thank you, journalist. So the, I love you.

I was called in. I was searching. I love how you're making sure that you're never going to be as good as John Stewart and John Mulaney. And you spent the next seven minutes proving it. Yeah. I wanted to make sure you knew I was correct. That's how good they are. As opposed to like, that's how not good you have to be to be a professional comedian. But so the guy got credible death threats. The FBI was called in and the FBI had to tell his children that your dad might get killed. There's a credible death threat against your father. They were explaining it to him.

And the daughter turned to the comedian her father and went, was it worth it? Was it worth it for all the stuff that you've done for all the work that father and went, was it worth it? Was it worth it? For all the stuff that you've done, for all the work that you've done, all the success that you've had, was it worth it? And that, you told me that story and I've got a four year old daughter and I'm just like, oh my God, that, that wasn't gut punched. So whether it be athlete, whether it be a comedian, I'm sure there's many other whether whether it be stripper, are you willing to dedicate that much of your life to something? Comedy is so competitive to know like famously competitive, cruel, cruelly competitive.

Like, one of the reasons I admire Neil is because he's doing comedy store five nights a week so that he doesn't get, you know, so it doesn't get flimsy. So it doesn't, he doesn't get a lack of sharpness. A name one other dwarf comedian. Ha, that's how competitive it is. And that's how good I am. And I'm keeping other dwarves down. I'm successfully stopping all of the dwarf comics from succeeding.

Shout out to Nick Novicki and Tony Lee Davis. Anyway, it's like Highlander. Yes. Yes. There can be only one. We play King of the Ant Hill. And I, and right now I'm on top. Let's go.

You don't think that the average excellent athlete would tell you in retrospect that it was always worth it, almost every one of them. Well, so I think when you say average excellent athlete, that's in retrospect that it was always worth it. Almost every one of them. Well, so I think when you say average excellent athlete, that's where I draw the distinction because I'm not even saying in terms of consequence of fame. That's what Brad's talking about. There is the invasion on your lifestyle. That's like the Taylor Swift problem with what we're seeing with Travis Kelsey, where so much of your life gets picked over. And I think this is what you're talking about, just the mentality of like, I know what it took to be an average college football player. And that's a lot

that goes into that. And I had a great time with it. It afforded me a lot in my life. I got a ton of good out of it. And there's a ton of guys that do that at the NFL level. But then there's the guys that do end up being the future Hall of Famers. And based on the way the prism through they, which they see the world that's so much defined by competition and their obsessed with those are the guys that seem to have the most struggle reintegrating into normal life because once the world's not structured in terms of result that I know how to achieve. And then I've put my whole life into achieving.

You see it become so hard for them. I guess that's the part I'm talking about when you're retiring at the average age of like 30, 33 if you're lucky in that sport or in any sport in your mid 30s. And then you see your friends that were achieving at that level struggle so much because of what it took to get there. That's the part there. And maybe it's the benefit of hindsight, the benefit of age where you go, oh man, like what it have been worth it to be that much better at the thing I was already pretty good

at and got a lot from with knowing what it costs on the back end of that from mental side. Don Lebert hard. He said while you were off there while the connection was bad, he had mentioned that you have lost a lot of weight and that he admires that. What got into you? Why did you decide? I thought it was all, I thought we enjoyed being about the monkey. Yeah.

Oh, it's luring again. OK, the connection is bad again. Unfortunately. Back to Magnus. OK, back to Magnus. Magnus, and this is going about as well. As it can go, thank you, Billy, again, for laughing in my face. Stugatz.

Magnena, look at this. I mean, I have to say, what's going on? Yes, we can hear you. Hello. Yes, sir, action. Hello. Action. Man, I'm really sorry.

This is literally the worst way to ever do this. Yes, we can hear you. Hello. Yes sir, action. Hello. Action. Man, I'm really sorry. This is literally the worst way to ever do this. This is burning my heart that this is happening. But if you could hear me, just understand, I'm sorry. This is the Dal-Lebatar show with this two cats. I'd like to ask this group a question. Mike Ryan, Mike Gollick, and Brad Williams.

If right now I put you in a hurry outside to get from one place to the other that's not within walking distance and you cannot get your Uber working or your internet working. I've become so reliant on this that what I'm about to tell you about what happened next, well not surprised you at all, but did surprise me as someone who recently called 411 when his internet wasn't working and expected that, expected, expected.

It weren't? No, I expected the help of an operator and there was no one there to answer my phone I was like who ended up answering was a slightly racist Joe Zagaki It's that the old guy Oh, your buggle in the room What's your last name? Leopard, but what do you guys do?

What do you do? It's not working and you need a car. Okay. I just walk until I get signal man. Yeah That's about the only thing I got. I called the taxi. You called the taxi. Well called for a taxi Listen, I guess because the phone was working, but internet was not working And so I called a taxi, but this is what happened not unlike 411 rings forever I have to call again. Then I'm talking to someone. You have. Then I'm talking to someone whose English is not quite that good.

I'm having trouble understanding them and they're having trouble. He'll have. They're having, I don't think it was Hispanic. They're having trouble understanding me as well. And what ends up happening is that on Sunset Boulevard, 15 minutes later, when I'm calling back again, because they said they were sending a cab and now I'm talking to the same person. Surely your internet has to be working. You're not in rural Iowa.

It's not set Boulevard. No cabs. They're on. Why? I don't know why it wasn't working. I don't know why it wasn't working. It wasn't working. Please forgive me.

15 minutes later, I'm calling back and they're saying to me, sorry, can't help you. None in the area. Same person. Yeah. And I'm now yelling on sunset, bullet. Is this how you guys are keeping up with Uber? This is how you guys are getting there. You can't get your internet to work.

It's a phone call. You made a phone call. I should be able to make these things. I should be able to get a car when I call in order that the Uber was frozen. It says you. Wait, this is you. I also have a question.

Is there just a defined number 41 one style that I've been missing that you can call for a cab? I think it's there. 4444444. Like I was just sort of, I thought keep hitting four. Eventually they hand you a cab. I thought that was some lawyer

because I see that advertisement on the back of buses all around LA. Guadalguadalguadalguadalguadal. But Mike's got a better story involving involving an Uber driver. So LA I found is a pretty terrible ride share town. It takes forever. You're better off scheduling. Yes.

I had to I had to catch a movie and I was in a bit of a rush. And I know it takes about an hour to get anywhere. So I'm running out the door. I got my Uber thing. Hopefully I had luck there. And I'm watching the Cessus cyclone, so my ESPN app keeping to myself because I don't like talking to people generally. And I sit back there and the guy hears the highlight going on and he's like going to the movies, huh? Because I had the location put in there. I'm like, yeah, he's like, you in the industry.

Oh, my. This is LA. I imagine everybody that's driving who versus industry adjacent. I'm like, I'm in sports media. So not really. I just, you know, want to see this movie. Why do you tell the truth? Yeah. I'm just I just want to figure you would have a pretty tried to lie at this point. Well, I'm just keeping myself blasting the highlight. As he's talking, I'm just putting the sound louder on my phone. And there's a, you know, two wall by my new. Like, you would take the point, but no, this guy clearly wanted to get somewhere.

So a little bit more silence. It's only filled by the Cessars Cyclone's dominating the wall warriors. And he's like, have you seen the new Texas chainsaw massacre movie? And which is also on, I don't, I haven't mapped out a top 50, but that's up there on things I don't want my, who might driver to be just asking me? Like, where is this going?

What time of day was this at? I don't know. I don't know if it was daytime, but it's just saying. But wait, wait, do you see where this ends up? He's got, do you ever finish? He's got, do you ever finish? He's got, do you ever finish? He's got, do you ever finish? He's got, do you ever finish? He's got, do you ever up? He's got, you ever been in a show? He's got, he's got something inside a Turkish prison. So he's got sunglasses on and like prescription eye glasses over it.

And he's got long gray hair. He's a big guy. And I'm like, no, I haven't seen the new Texas chainsaw massacre because I've kind of seen them all already. I'm like, is it just to get another remake? He's like, no, this one's a direct sequel. It's on Netflix right now. I'm like, oh, okay, cool.

And he's like, and leather face is driving you. And again, having mapped out the top 50 things, I want my rideshare driver to be telling me, but I don't know where this is going to an basement somewhere. That's the somewhere. Yeah. And I hear him talking more and more. I'm like, wait, is he actually leather face? And so as he's talking, I Google IMDB Texas Jainsaw Massacre and I see the photo for leather

face is very similar to the one for my driver. And I'm like, it's a different name. And he's like, I'm only doing this because the Shrikes going on. It's about to say, yeah. And it was legitimately leather face who's been making money during the Shrikes driving ride shares and going to horror cons. And I guess promoting writer by writer

the new Texas chainsaw massacre movie. He was a really nice guy, a little chatty, especially for leather face because that is a non speaking role. I mean, he's got a lot of things to say. Yeah. Really. One got pent up speech from that role and two out here slinging it out the truck. However, he's got to end this point. No wonder he's chatteling. And that was one of the, there's a couple like, welcome to LA moments. Usually it's like,

wow, I can't believe this concertion town, but also it can be like, wow. The guy who made a leather face reference was actually leather face this time. What were the seats in the car made out of? They were the leather. It was leather, what kind? And also something that he said at the very beginning

of the ride, he's like, you're one lucky rider because this is one of the best ubers in town. I'm like, okay, it's, it's an okay car. He's like, and then he, like three minutes later, he's like, you're being driven by leather face. I was, I thought for sure, because usually when I think best uber in town, you got a bunch of mints in the back that are chargers.

That's a charger. I like the charger tree that lets me know you're cognizant of everyone's needs Yeah, maybe a white cloth you're feeling fancy. Oh, water. Yeah, water because you never know it could be late at night I could be really using this water Yeah, but I'll take leather faces on the board now in terms of I'm like, thank you for the cocktail party So I was waiting for Mike to pull up his shirt and show us the scar from where his newly removed kidney is or was. Yeah.

Right now, I'm trying to think of a top five, like you do not want that actor or that part driving you in your Uber. And leather face, I think, is on there. Well, they're pretty high. Yeah. Yeah. When he first mentioned it, we were talking about like the movie and I thought it was a plot point like, okay, the movie opens and you're in a car and other faces driving.

I still hadn't pieced together, but apparently this is something that happens in Washington. It's legitimately horrifying though to get from your driver in a strange car, that movie and the question, the random, but the randomness of have you seen the new Texas chain saw massacre, obscure and weird enough to really frighten you. Is that the worst place to encounter this guy or is does he use the same line at a bar? Like, like we're trying to pick up chicks. He's used that line all the time. 100%.

But at least in the bar, you've got company. Yeah. Like you've got exits. Yeah, like you've got exits You've got other people around here It's Mike and dude and that dude is quite literally in the driver's seat. I have his conversation Have you seen the new Texas Jansaw massacre hits the button click? Wearing sunglasses with prescription eye glasses on top of it is a bit of a startling look when someone starts talking to you about the Texas Jansaw Massacre you start being very perceptive that looks like and sounds like a description of a startling look when someone starts talking to you about the Texas chainsaw massacre, you start being very perceptive.

That looks like it sounds like a description of someone who has taken their work home with them. Oh, he's method. Yes, he's definitely method. What else makes a great Uber ride? We have, I believe Miami, because of the humidity, leads all of the world in ubers that smell like cheese and feet. But on the positive end, you guys have noted all of the things where you're like, okay, I'm giving this, this person

the highest of rating. My, my, my bar is very low to like just get me there in one piece. Oh, something else that happened to me last week. I didn't tell you guys. I was in a, in a rideshare that got in an accident. Oh, see, that's by far to me the war. If you're talking about the polar opposite, Dan, that's the worst outcome accident in a ride. Yeah, right. He merged lanes and I was in the back seat. I hadn't put my seat belt on yet

because I don't actually do that when I'm in a ride chair. And I'm like, did we just hit that car? And sure enough, they pull up and they're doing, like this is actually happening right now. And they went at it for like a good 15 minutes and I didn't step out of the car because I kinda didn't wanna be, if a cop pulled up, I didn't wanna be questioned.

So I thought I could hide because there were tints on the car. And as a wrapping up, as a wrapping up their conversation, the lady that was in the other car comes up to the the Uber that I'm in and just starts peeking in like this and doesn't see me because the Tins are that dark, but it was like mad creepy. And so I didn't know what I was supposed to do. So I went on the interface and I'm like, hey, can I car got in an accident? Can I get $13 back as you see? You immediately went for the refund. You didn't check on anybody.

Well, guess I got so strong. You would admit that that requires some sort of way down. I was just waiting for you to just order the other Uber to your crash to Uber and Uber away from that. I was thinking about it, but also I'm in LA. I'm like, the time that it will take for me to get a new Uber is probably greater than the time it takes for them to settle their differences and exchange information. That was literally my

thought process there, but I just put in a claim and I put, oh, I was in an accident. And then the legal department steps in and are you all right? Are you all right? They're following up like crazy. And I keep it going for a little bit because I'm like, I want to maximize whatever I can get. Maybe I get $50 and credits. No, I'm a back seller.

And I, and I mentioned like, thankfully, no one was hurt and I haven't heard back. Oh, first mistake. That's what you would have heard me shouting on sunset boulevard. I should get a dish gown for this With $50 yellow cap You guys you're gonna mail it to you when I asked the three of you the question you were all buffering like what do you mean What do we do if the uber doesn't work? There are no other move also your own sunset boulevard I want to see Dan lebertard on an eScooter. I want to see I thought about that I thought I saw one of them and I thought about that I pay for one

He could get you an eScooter from the Payphone I Falled the internet wasn't working I couldn't you made a call the internet was working. I love working. I love writing an e-scooter because it makes my day because of the convenience. And then it makes the day of anyone else who happens to see me writing an e-scooter. They're just like, well, I was having a bad day,

but there's a dwarf on a scooter. I'm good.