The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Bowling Center

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

"We're a weather event. It's a 'woosh, woosh.'" Tony is live outside of Bird Bowl for a Tony's Top 5, but will he get inside, or will we have to send him to the sex shop across the street? Plus, the Bears' miraculous comeback, the Rams' close call, and a stray Rose laugh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the big suey, presented by Draft Kings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Labitbart show is presented by Draft Kings. Draft Kings, the crown is yours. Is Brady better than Romo now as a broadcaster? It's certainly worth discussing. Brady has really improved this season. Well, Romo's gotten worse. Yeah, but that's been a several year thing.

Remember there was a report a couple, like three years ago where CBS execs had to meet with Tony Romo to stage an intervention about his preparation? One of the things that he continues to do every single game, no matter the game, is these seven things are as good as any you will ever see in the NFL, or anywhere as there is presently in the NFL. It can't be everybody, Tony. It can't be everybody that we're watching

in every game we're watching, that you're just hitting the note again and again that this safety, the latest safety, is as good in the league as anybody. at this. That's not empirically true in any way. Tony Romo's immediate approval was kind of like a perfect storm because the game had changed so much

like offenses. The game had totally evolved with the sophistication to it and he was affable and he was so closely removed. Like Tony Romo started broadcasting months after we had last seen him on the field. Well, and remember everyone thought it was so cute that he was able to predict the play. Because he had a pretty good idea because he was in those film rooms. Required to.

He was still doing it this weekend. And getting some of them wrong because it's interesting to me that the Ben Johnson's of the world are new when they're here. They've got their young quarterbacks and they're here to say out loud, history of the sport, the Packers. F*** them. All the tweaking that Tom Brady has done, and I think he's done more personal stories, listening to the greatest bad weather quarterback of all time, talk to you about the difficulties in throwing in the wind. I'm always going to be there for that, but less has been more for Tom Brady. It got through to him. He's received coaching

and he's learned. Let me do more bite-sized tip-tip- Why wouldn't he get better? Someone who's never done broadcasting is thrown into the broadcast booth with no experience and you don't think they're going to get better? I guess it's because

it had been two seasons. We have a clip that got traction online where we kind of wrote him off because at mid-season it didn't look like it and he turned a corner and you're absolutely right. I think if anything has taught us, if anything we've learned,

let's stop counting Tom Brady out at anything in life. Because he is if you overlook him and you doubt him. Oh no, I'm going to keep doing it on the Raiders. I'm going to keep doing it on the Raiders. Go ahead, Brady. Brady, I will keep doubting you. I'm going to chase you to the grave and you won't

respect me any more than Christobald does. But I'm going to chase you the grave saying, no, you were bad at that because you were shitty then. There's no question about that, that he's gotten better and that Romo hasn't worked at it. Same way. Not surprising. That Brady would chase down Romo in the booth with 300 million more in guarantees. Yes, of course, he's going to be better at this if he wishes to be six years from now because he's going to get the reps of it and he's going to care about getting better. But yes, he was terrible at the beginning. I'm not taking that back. I think now all he needs to do is add to moments, add the right amount of

color at the right time on big time moments because when I still tune in to Tom Brady, it doesn't feel like it's a big game. But that's just a resume thing, right? His voice will sound like it belongs on a big game, much the way that it did with Chris Fowler early on. It was awkward. And now you can't picture a big time college football game without his voice. No, the best one, the best one this weekend.

And it's how Prime bought its way into the game. And holy shit, football was broadcast. Amazing. These amazing games. and at the top of it, in the middle of it all, I know it can get forgotten, because all the games are great and interesting yesterday. Goodbye, Jacksonville.

I should have never trusted you. I hate that I did. The best of all of these was the framing on, and this is how this shit happens. Give me that LaFleur sound, if you want to see how high the flames can climb when. These moments happen and pressurized things that we're all watching. And, hey, Tomlin, you win, you go on, we won't fire you.

Harbaugh, you're gone. LaFleur has a quarterback. That's a great job. That's a great young quarterback. If you're not good enough, LaFleur, one of these young Wiz kids, who have taken over the game and you can get old fast, when you lose a game that way, and Al Michaels is in the booth, and he is saying, I've been at this field 30-plus times.

It's never felt like this. He could feel the play shaking. 80-year-old Al Michaels will not quit because he wants to be at the center of those games. Went to Prime to make him big and has, and now that falls on LaFleur. Listen to him in this press. conference after the game. That is the greatest collapse in playoff history and all sorts of flukery, immaculate.

You can't lose that game statistically. The advantages that you had throughout that game, and it's the second time in a couple of weeks they did that to you as Ben Johnson leaves the field saying, now I got the quarterback and the Bears matter again, and look at how high the flames climb

on this guy. Hey, Matt, you got a year left on your contract and policy has said he doesn't like playing duck season. Do you expect to be back next season? Have you guys already started negotiating that deal? Yeah, with all due respect to your question, Pete, now's not the time for that. I mean, I'm just hurting for these guys.

You know, I can only think about just what just happened, and there will be time for that. Mitch, you've won a lot of games here. I know you always say the quarterback, it's too much blame. I'm sure it's the same for you as a coach too, but after the way the season finished and a couple other playoffs, shortcomings. Why do you think you should be back here next year? Again, Pete, I'm not going to, I'm not going to get into that right now. Do you think your team has the confidence that the leadership of this organization can get more than the long ago? Yeah, again, with all due respect, Pete,

definitely now's not the time. I mean, whatever. Am I crazy or does he look like white Jalen Hertz? I got that deer in the headlights thing down. Shepter has tweeted this morning that Packers now are expected to try to work out a deal in the coming days to keep head coach Matt LaFleur. May I ask a question? Why? He had Aaron Rogers, right? They finally moved on for McCarthy. And if you remember LaFleur early on, there were a lot of growing pains in those playoffs. A lot of mistakes, a lot of second guessing. And you just said to yourself, okay, the Packers are willing to live with these growing pains to get LaFleur to a point where he can take them to the next level, and here we are, six, seven years later, blowing three score leads, looking like an

absolute mess from an operational standpoint, if the growing pains were worth it, he'd not be screwing it up that badly. Because it's not just a team got hot and came back to you. The Chicago Bears have proved that time and time again this season. They can do that to you. Hell, they proved it in the exact same building against the exact same team. I'm talking about shooting your own damn team in the foot. I'm talking about bad timeouts. I'm talking about procedurals. I'm talking about undisciplined play. Like that he looked like a rookie head coach and that's inexplicable. Uh, what's usually the explanation there and I've always thought it dismissive. I've always thought it too remedial. You can't analyze these games on a Sunday and just be eating popcorn and stuff.

And when these guys prepare this way and say, oh, I would have done this, this, this, this, differently. I hate the way we cover the NFL where every week's somebody's shouting louder than the next person, no, that person choked. Do they deserve credit for winning Chicago or do the Packers deserve blame? I'd prefer to be positive there about the Bears have the best team and quarterback that they've had in that city. And it made Al Michaels shake in the booth. But Green Bay's got the better quarterback. You believe that, yeah.

Well, I mean, if Jordan Love doesn't want to get caught from behind on Caleb Williams, I believe that through several quarters in that football game where I thought Chicago had, without Michael Parsons, Chicago had some real line advantages. You saw what happened in the Chargers last night, Zaslow. Harbao's going to get, when Alts out, Harbaugh's going to get Justin Herbert killed. He can't also lead them in rushing. You can't play that football.

You can't. John Harbaugh is going to get Justin Herbert killed. They had one sequence of Chargers, and I think it was first and goal from like the nine. And the first three plays were Herbert runs. Listen, look, what was, listen to this. I couldn't believe it. Look, you went to see Bloody Vrable.

He's got blood in his mouth. He's smiling because of what he's going to do to you. And this is what you're going to do in that game, Harbaugh. On fourth and short inside the five, you're just going to try and run Justin Herbert into their face and then not get it and get scared and then kick a field goal the next time. And that's the end of your point. You're in the red zone twice inside the five-yard line. You got scared the second time and kicked it on fourth and two because you failed the first time

because you had no offensive line. Because that's the worst offensive line in the entire playoffs by miles. Their play on first down on that goal-to-go situation. It was roll Herbert outright and have him try and run over a linebacker. Maybe that's because the Patriots had 30 pressures last night. 30. No, he's playing. Look, Justin Herbert, I want an intervention.

It's unfair what they've done to him over the last nine games, asking him to play a different game of football than even Josh Allen. Josh Allen is not getting hit nearly as much as this dude. This would make Andrew Luck quit. Like, you can't keep asking that guy to play. play like that. That is Jim Harbaugh being a total lunatic and feeling like he can't trust anybody else except for his quarterback to be miles better than any athlete on the field. He was hit 129 times this year going into yesterday. That's 18 more than any other quarterback.

I don't think there's a tougher quarterback in the league. I feel bad for the way that dude gets hit on Sundays because he's big like Josh Allen, but not quite as big as Josh Allen. Hey listeners, I don't know about you, but at the start of the new year, I always want to make sure I have my finances in order. And it really does feel like Chime is changing the way people bank. This is fee-free, smarter banking built for you. Not the old school model that hits you with overdraft fees and monthly fees just for trying to live your life. This is banking that's actually on your side. Chime isn't just another banking app. They unlock smarter banking for everyday people with tools like MyPay, giving you access to up to $500 of your paycheck when you. need it. And even getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Forget those overdraft fees. Forget minimum balance fees. Forget monthly fees. Chime makes everyday spending work harder by turning it into real rewards and real financial progress. There's also the new Chime card, a smarter way to build credit with your own money while earning cash back at the same time. Someone I know would have really benefited from something like this. Chime is not just smarter banking.

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details and applicable terms. Happy New Year, everybody. 2026 is already getting off to an incredible start because you want to know how I rang in the new year. It was with a bunch of friends in a Dallas hotel lobby bar ordering a bunch of Miller Lights because that's how you do it. That's how you make special memories. Miller Light has been by my side and many special football memories this year.

And hopefully we get to write a few more memories with Miller Light. Some of my most legendary moments have started that exact same way. a buddy's house, a lobby bar, a game, no big plan. And then you crack open a Miller Light. You take a sip and you look around, and you immediately recognize that you made the right call. Legendary moments start with Miller Light. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to Miller Lite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. All right, kicking things off with Smyranoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number of vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smearned off! Wow, you're on the money with Smeernaw. Smeerrots! Chris, do you know what goes great with Smyranoff?

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and it's all courtesy of what brand? Smirnoff! That's right, Chris, fans 21 and over can head to Smyranoff Socialists to learn how to sign up, and don't forget to grab a bottle of Smyrnav vodka. Number 21 at your local retail. Smyrath! Please drink responsibly. Smyr-Nov.

Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume, the Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking aid. Smyrna off. No purchase necessary must be legal U.S. resident 21 or older. Sweep steak starts 1215, 2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-226 at 11.59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website. Don Lebertard. If Daniel Day Lewis did it, you'd be jerking off all over yourself.

Oh, come on. Yeah, I would be. Aggressive description? I mean, what is it? What is that? I'm just saying. You know what? That's me.

saying what? That's me. Daniel Day Lewis does something. I see that photo of Daniel Day Lewis looking like Lincoln before he's about to start filming Lincoln. And you know what I do? I mean, Stugats. I jerk off all over myself.

That's what I do. Lincoln, who you outed the other day? Don't make this a rejoin. This is the Don Levitar show with a Stugats. In all honesty, like, they have no one else on that side of the ball. We're still talking about third down. Look for Keenan Allen. No, and Arronda Gadsden's kid.

He's good. He's a good player. Okay, well, then what did you just do, fool? Oh, he's young. He's a tight, he's not your go-to. Be a good player or not be the go-to. Ladmacocke's a pretty good wide receiver. They have a lot of nice pieces. I think their season was completely undone by injuries along the offensive line, right?

Well, this is what this sport does. It ravages people and the end of that Philadelphia game, okay? The idea, this, I'm not overreacting when I say, what the 49ers have done over the last I'm going to say, I don't know, years with whatever the parts are, when their giant parts are always getting hurt to go into Philadelphia and have no Bosa, no Fred Warner, and then kittles out early in the game, and he's going to be gone for a bunch of time. And Brock Purdy missed games this season. I don't know how McCaffrey's still held together. I expect any game now for someone to just stitch his forearm

to the side of his helmet. I don't know how that physical body holds together as everything else on that architecture gets ravaged. John Lynch runs that franchise. They just gave the keys to Matt Ryan and Atlanta thinking, look, John Lynch did it over here. But what the 49ers have done over the last 10 years without winning a Super Bowl is one of the great achievements I've seen in this sport. And going into that place and winning after you got ravaged by Seattle, don't like their chances at all against Seattle, not even a little bit.

But I'm done doubting that team because I can't believe that they can be that injured every year and still be at the top of the standings and be higher-seated than the Rams, who are the best team I've seen this season, and almost coughed it up against Carolina. The worst playoff team there's ever been by point differential. There's never been a worst team in the playoffs in Carolina. Minus 69. 49ers, what they've done to me, I know it's not going to stand out in the yesterday of it all. We're going to talk about Josh Allen being pushed 10 yards and whether that's actually football. And we're going to talk about it's not football. It's not football. That's assinine.

They carried it. You can't have rugby break out in the middle of the football playoffs and be okay with games being decided the last minute because the guy's being carried 10 years. All right, let's put Josh Allen on a chariot. See if anyone can stop that too. And the referee called it a touchdown. He was down like the three. What are you watching? Oh, but

I mean, what are we doing? Often asking myself that. I'm going to get back to NFL stuff in a second, but Tony's made me happy. Look at him. He is beaming. That's as Cuban as you've ever looked right there. Everything that's happening right now. This right here is a snapshot. This is a work of art right here. It looks like a green screen. Oh my God. Tony. That is the most colorful Tony photo there's ever been. All right. Tell the

people where you are and what the history of that place is. Ah, Dan, I'm here just literally not even a mile down the road on Bird Road. And I'm here in front of Bird Bowl, 69 years of family fun. As you can see, Billiards Arcade and Bowling and parties. So this is Miami's and not. inaugural, the first of its kind bowling, what do you call it? Alley. Establishment? Bowling. Alley.

You can see how much I bowl. I don't. Okay. Well, I don't really bowl much as a Danism there. Okay. But you're doing a live report. It's raining on me right now. Okay.

No one goes there to bowl. They go there for the pitchers. You want to give people the history? I actually have a funny story here, Dan. Well, the history. I'll give a personal anecdote really quick. Not just a personal anecdote. The history of the joint.

That right there has been Cuban Fund Center for generations of Cubans. Yeah. Did you not have enough money as a kid to go to Disney World? Great. Guess what we're doing the party? We're doing it at Bird Bowl. It was $67 for you and 37 friends to go in bowl with shoes that had been worn for 60 years. I think the original shoes are probably still inside of Bird Bowl right now.

Bumbers are no bumpers? For me? Bumpers, obviously. What do you think? A bowler? What do you think? I got my own ball. I'm going to fling my own ball.

they're like, come on, dork. Sucker. Eric Dampere, Eric Dampier used to play in those bowling shoes. It's a true story. Well, this is a different place, but over at the bowling place in Dolphin Mall, I remember what it was called splits or whatever. They used to have Shacks shoes, and they were like this big bowling shoes.

They were like size 27. They were like this big. They were huge. So that was exciting. So at one point, a quick personal anecdote, one time I was here, and they had, let me be, how can I say this? Okay, so a alcohol beverage brand that is uniquely American that has a very American figure as their mascot, they had one of those in here, a cardboard cutout life size of him.

And after, you know, us hanging out and having some of these pictures, I took the American hero cutout with me home. I took it out of here and I put it in the car and I haven't been back since. So I don't know if they have my picture on the wall saying this guy cannot be here. I don't know if they saw me in the security footage. I don't think they have security footage here. But that American icon life-size cutout is in my house. This is the home that Mike Ryan, this place built you. Dude, I got a smile ear to ear.

He's just, I got Madonna's this used to be my playground playing in my head. He's so close to the former Ultra Zone laser tag center that later became a sex shop. Dude, it's right. It's play things. It's right there. Yeah. I was thinking about that place the other day, Mike. Let's go ahead. Go over there next.

It's right there. Yeah. No, no. There it is right there. Yeah. Used to be ultrason. Mike, I was thinking about that. I was thinking about that ultrism what it was called.

I couldn't remember what it was called, but I remember going in there and it was a sick laser tag place. But then it closed down. It was the best. In fact, not too far. Just like the Excalibur. Yes, not too far from you. The Excalibur was sick. Right next to you, there is a racquetball center that had a fat camp that I was a counselor at.

Yes. Fit Kids. I was also at Fit Kids for a while. It's down the street. A bunch of fat Cuban kids. So wait a minute. It was a bunch of fat Cuban kids. I was a counselor.

Come on. Hey, come on. Let's go for a jog. And usually they just pull out a Game Boy advance and tell me to go screw myself. Tony, so you're going to go to Columbus here at one point. But are you allowed to Inbird bowl? Is it not open this early? It's early for bowling.

Is it open? It's open. It's open. But I don't think we can go in there. Well, can you do me the fact right to ask? Go me and do it. See, to me, help me with this. Do they agree with dance politics?

Mike is saying that these are dangerous times. Mike is saying that the... Hold on. Let me say one thing. Let me say one thing. So, so we bring politics into sports a lot, okay? And we were politicizing the camera and people not want to dance about the hurricanes.

The moment the camera shut off, three guys is I was making the right after that La Ventanita to get in my car. Three guys came. up to me talking about the canes, talking about Mendoza. And I said, guys, why don't you come over here 30 seconds ago when I was doing the hit and giving Coladas away? They're like, oh, because we don't like the cameras, we don't want to be around the cameras

or whatever. So it's not a political thing. It's a camera thing. People don't want to be in front of cameras. And they see Sean McGill bringing up a camera in their face. And they, like, who is this guy? No, but it's, it's, but the problem is that they don't want to be seen by cameras because they're doing illicit things in our city.

It's not because they're afraid of the government. It's because we've got people throughout our city who probably shouldn't be in our city. Who are your neighbors and friends? And there are people that you care about. They do important work around your house. But they might not be here legally. They might not be here legally. They're probably not.

And so they don't want that scene on camera. That may be true. I'm going to see if Sean can actually help me here. Sean, can you pan over and zoom into the front door of Bird Bowl? And Dan, I want to see if you can see exactly what's on the front door. So the handle of the door, I don't know if you can see it perfectly right there. there's a placard that says notice no firearms

at the bowling center no firearms please it's good advice that's correct you got this Sean that only happens that only happens if there has been firearms here before many times where they had to put the placard of like hey

yeah you don't want no guns you're open care if you could you don't want that at the bowling alley all right Tony thank God I was America I would like this is where I would like to end up as an American institution in the media fighting its way during these difficult times through our sports and political climate. Why are we not the show that can now go over to play things and see what's going on over there? Why can't you go do a live hit over there? Ask some people over there about the hurricanes.

Does playthings agree with Dan's politics? About the hurricanes? No, I don't want to talk about. So wait a minute. This is what we're going to do. So you think you're in a dangerous area because no one within three miles of you agrees with my politics. You think you're, you think I'm putting you in danger? More than three miles. You think I'm putting you in danger right now. Go to Florida Christian and ask for Coach Stemmer. I don't think he's there anymore. I can ask for Coach O and Coach Dandrina's also not there.

No, Padron's one that's not there anymore. I can go over to play things, Dan. Again, that's more of a risque place. Somebody may be getting something for somebody who's not their wife. I don't know. People are not going to want to be on camera. The show I'd like to do, look, if I were pushing you beyond the limits of normal production in a free media world that isn't as dangerous as this one.

I think you should be asking someone inside of play things, what they think of the hurricanes, and just doing a straight U.M interview with that person. That's what I would like. We can. Yeah, I can do that. I can do that. We're right now, my producer, Rose, is inside begging us to be able to get inside of Bird Bowl.

So when she comes out, I'll tell her we'll go over to play things. That'd be good television as well. I'd like to ask how old. I'd like put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Have the shoes at Bird Bowl been there for 69 years? For 69. Were they worn by your grandparents? Because those are those bowling shoes.

We need to make cars out of those bowling shoes. Those bowling shoes cannot. Those bowling shoes... Oh, those zapato have mea. 69 years that Bird Bowl has been there standing strong, entertaining Cubans who got to this country and couldn't quite get to Disney World. All right. Go over to play things. Yeah.

slash Ultrazone. All right. Let's see if I'm going to try to get inside of Bird Bowl. If we can't get inside of Bird Bowl, we're going to head over to play things and see what we can do there. But I will promise that we will effort, Dano. Thank you. Let's get back to the NFL here quickly.

Let's do a, I want him inside of play things, not outside of play things. Go? We can't get into Columbus. We can't get into Bird Bowl. I mean, are we making television here or not? I'm walking on Columbus. I'm working on Columbus.

Rose can wait outside. We're not making her do this. HR issue. Well, okay. I'm being told, They can go into Bird Bowl. All right. Well, let's do the next report then from inside of Bird Bowl.

I'd like to hear you talk about the Cains and the enthusiasm about the Cains with the local community. Thank you, Tony. We'll check back in with you in a second. But it was, again, a bat-shit crazy NFL weekend. And when I'm quoting there, this is the coolest, as it really is. Because in the middle of all of these wonderful games, okay, Chicago taking back the division in that town. with Al Michaels shaking. They want so badly to care at football,

to be relevant at football. They care so much, and they've never had this quarterback, and they've never had this coach. Not Ditka, not anyone, has the ability to both outsmart your coach in offensive ways that make the lions collapse in the division when he's taken away, and Dan Campbell exposed as something less than when he couldn't keep up with the plays. They've got the coach that's running off the field after toppling,

what Aaron Rogers has specifically done to the bears historically with bleep the Packers, bleep them, because it's a new era in Chicago and they know they're going to be good for 10 years. I like people getting upset with Ben Johnson's handshake with Matt LaFleur. I mean, he snuck it right in there. He ate a big grin on his face. I mean, he essentially smacked his hand and then he ran off. I liked it. I liked it.

The Packers. Why can't the coaches not like each other? I like it the coach don't like each other. I like if Ben Johnson doesn't like the Packers. like it. Don Lebertard. For weeks, months even, during the regular season, I wondered, allowed what Kevin Stenlin did. And then about three weeks ago, it hit me. Stugats. He gives them one of these and he gives them one of those. This is the Don Leibatar show with the Stugats. Zaslow, apparently you didn't take the cue and neither did I. I wasn't trying to beat gratuitously

television by using the F word there. It's just, I'm quoting Ben Johnson as he's around the highest forms of the celebration that they've had in that city. I'm going to say since the Cubs, I guess. But like, the way this city cares about the football team is in sort of the Michael Jordan class of caring when the championships have never met what the standard is. For this tandem to bring that city hope as the Eagles fall at the finish line, as they've got a defense that will ravage you, win the turnover battle.

But a month ago, all of these games fell Iber Flusian right before the second half heroics when they're doing things mathematically that they simply cannot recreate. You cannot win a Super Bowl getting down 21 to 3 and trying to figure it all out in the second half after Ben Johnson goes into the locker room and does whatever he does with the Bunsen burners to figure out what he has to do in the second half to just play, okay, Caleb, go out there and just run around on fourth and nine. And now they're a home win away from the NFC championship. One home win away.

Rams are favored. I'm really not sure why. I've got to be honest with you. One home win away from the NFC championship, which maybe they would host as well in Chicago. Well, it's because everyone thinks the Rams can win all three road games because you target Puka 18 times. But that game against Carolina was impressive to you? I would love your thoughts on the Carolina game because

their season was over after they beat the dolphins, and yet they were right there, almost beating the Rams for a second time this season. It's pretty unimpressive. I did not think I would get to the point in life where Mike Ryan would look at me earnestly and say, I want your thoughts on the Carolina Panthers. But thank you, because I have publicly been the greatest national skeptic on all things Carolina Panthers this season. Again, I declared their season done after they beat the dolphins just because don't make me

watch that team all season. But it's hard to reconcile that with the both times the Rams played them. The Rams, who I think are the best team in football. Five one-score games they've lost in total freak fashion. All of it, like allowing a special teams touchdown, a defensive touchdown. McVeigh fires his special teams coach after one of the losses. Like the Rams should be a one-seed at home. They were better than Seattle this season.

But now, and this is what you risk, 37-year-old quarterback or not, Stafford throwing fingers is a problem. Like he wasn't the same in the second half. They have in Pooka Nakua the same thing they had with Cooper Cup. You cannot stop it all season. We'll throw to it 20 times. It'll never be something that you can stop. It's too accurate.

There's nothing that you can do. But against Carolina, the worst team in the history of the playoffs by point differential, they come out exactly the way that I thought it would go, the entire game, and Carolina stays in it. And the Rams do dumb stuff. And at the end of the game, they need Stafford to be great. and he is because he's better equipped to be great at the end of these games that are all going to be close than any of them. Like, it's weird to me, Zaslow, to watch these games and these quarterbacks when they're all trying to stay being kept within 150 yards and everybody's going forward on Fort Down.

To have all of the games in that league be that close at the end where the team trailing at the two-minute warning in the first three games won all three of the games came back to save its season after the two-minute warning. It's because of the precision of people not like Trevor Lawrence who had 59 seconds to win that game and they know how to get down the field to get the 40 yards you need so that you can get into field goal range because there's not a human beating that can actually guard Parkinson. Like that's not DeBonte Adams. That's not even Pooka Nakua. Like if I take a six-six tight end and I just throw it to him over in that place, there's not a cornerback that's going to be able to keep up with. something like that. You're noticing now, right, to where all of these teams, first of all, everyone goes for Fort Down. It's so strange to see. But you're noticing now where all of these teams, it's the fourth quarter, several minutes left, whatever it is, they're all afraid to settle for field goals to give them the lead. They're all afraid. They all

know we have to score touchdowns. Is it not fair criticism to do what I just did with the Chargers and the Patriots to say to you, early in that game, he's inside the five-yard line on forked down, he goes for it. He decides to throw a pass. He does not trust his offensive line. Harbaugh fails. It's a game that's clearly going to be won by the defense or not at all, clearly, because of the problems that, again, the charges were not fielding a professional offensive line yesterday. It was the worst in the playoffs by Miles. I believe that Harbaugh should be indicted for threat for manslaughter, an attempt at manslaughter for trying to kill Justin Herbert by making him play behind that offensive line without alt for the last eight games. It's an incompetence. You cannot do that to

Justin Herbert. But in that game inside the five yard line, Herbert couldn't get in, even though he's going to be their leading rusher for like five or the last six weeks. Again, assonine, assonine that you're asking Justin Herbert to change his game because you can't run the ball. You don't have an offensive line. You don't have any hardball answers for just run a sweep, Justin. Run away. Run! That's what the charger offense was. was at the end of another season that collapses at the finish line. Justin, run! But, fourth and short, you fail, and then the next time you get inside the five,

fourth and short, and you kick it, and you kick it, and way to go, Harbaugh. Like, you got a chance at touchdowns. You got to go for touchdowns. But if you're not going to go for touchdowns, don't tell me you're going for touchdowns at the beginning, and then the second time you get close, I'll take the tie three, three. And then at the end of the game, Rabel's laughing with blood in his mouth, because he's doing it differently than you are. It's crazy how fast this stuff happens in that sport, isn't it?

Mm-hmm. How fast... How fast Le Fu gets old. It's crazy to me what you saw over the last week of NFL football that, again, begins with John Harbaugh, now available to everybody, right? I'm reading the reports. Harbaugh will decide whether he wants to come to teams or whether he's going to have him to Baltimore, because he's got...

I keep seeing the Dolphins are in play. I don't believe it. They're interviewing him. Yeah. Why don't you believe it? I mean, maybe Stephen Ross was listening to me. Maybe he's going to do my thing. Give him $50 million.

But why don't you believe it? What are you not believing? How is this a good job? For a big time coach. For not a first, not someone going for one out of 32. How is this a good job? All the power and money? Well, where's the power?

They just hired a GM. Okay, but you tell the GM that there's going to be rules and the GM is going to act as a, you can allow. Meaning Stephen Ross tells the GM you're saying. Well, but wait a minute. No, what I'm saying is. that if you really want somebody and you have no other options that don't improve your credibility from one day to the other, because it would be Jim Harbaugh or bust here if all you're going to do is famous guy who stabilizes your franchise so that people can yawn and say, okay, stable.

You won the offseason. I bet they're going to look at McCarthy too. Oh, okay. But, I mean, that's a waste of time. I agree. Okay. But, wait a minute. What's the difference?

What's the difference between McCarthy? McCarthy's a meatball. He is not a good coach. He'll stabilize your franchise, for sure. And I think that's why the dolphins will look at him, but you're not winning anything on McQuarrie. All right. Put it on the poll at Lebitard.

Is McCarthy a meatball? I don't understand what you're doing there. I don't. Really? Oh, Tony's at the bowling alley now. I wanted to make a point about the Harbaugh's here, the first family of football, as John takes on like a royal quality

because everybody wants whatever the stability is of that guy will come here. Plenty of time for that. Plenty of time for what? To get to the Harbaugh stuff. Tony, timely. Okay. Well, you go ahead and take the show from here then.

Well, you said to government in Chris's defense. I said to govern it, though, when I thought it was three hits ago, and I said to govern it as it related to Zaslow and 10 minutes before we got out of the local hour, and I'm looking up, and there are three minutes left, and no one's governed it. It's true. Being told, they're going to let him actually bowl. So this is. All right.

So Tony, do me this favor. So Tony, this is what I would like for you now to do for us because some of the benefits of entertainment television have alluded you this morning. I would like for you to bowl right now while doing your top five. I want your top five while bowling. I want you to do both things at the same time, and we're going to do Tony's top five.

Did I just hear Rose laugh? Okay. Yeah, yes, because she understands how many hands I need and how many hands I have. And I need three hands, but I only have two. but we can do it, Dan, that's fine. Okay, so let me know when you're ready. If you said you can bowl, I'd like to see how you do now while doing your top five.

So let's do this. I will remind you, when was the last time you bowled? Because remember, I got to throw the ball, then the pins have to fall. Then the ball has to be returned to me to then hit a spare to then be able to do the same thing again. So it's going to take a little bit of time. That's fine. I've got five minutes. So give me a take.

Roll the ball. Do it five times. Okay, perfect. You ready for number five? No, all right, just straight number five. Is anyone there at Bird Bowl? Number five. Is anyone there at Bird Bowl?

There's a nice family. There's a nice family with a young kid who's bowling right now. Again, we don't have to show the kid. Plus they're expanding. Plus they're expanding thanks to Dion, the GM here. They're actually going to get another like 20 lanes this one with an arcades and a mini golf. It's incredible. Oh, see, I love that Bird Bowl is only expanding here.

Is Columbus doesn't let us get in there and, uh, and, and, and, and, and, and, Now look at us. We're in the middle of another Cuban Miami icon. What are you shaking your head about, Mike? You think the bowling alley would be a lot more popping on a Monday at 10 a.m. And the bowling center. All right, Tony. Go ahead.

All right, number five, it's a look in the mirror game for Philly. Look in the mirror because something is deathly wrong, deathly wrong with your organization. That offense should not be scoring the way that they are. That defense is obviously very good, missing some key pieces throughout the season. but it's a look in the mirror game looking at you Siriana you got to figure it out all right here you go okay you put it down and I'll

I'll come after you here with Zazlo I don't like putting my fingers in the hole so I'm gonna I'm gonna do it kind of caveman style with just gripping the ball like this you gotta put the fingers in the hole you got what do you mean no you got to put your fingers in the hole no he's not doing it I don't like I don't like doing that okay you're gonna bowl

I'm also gonna put a cut on it that's not even bowling if you don't put your wait a minute it's not called a cut but there are some people that do this No, it's a spin. It's a spin, but he's just... Tell my man, what's up? That's pretty good.

All right. Wow, that's a very difficult shot to hit now. We'll get the sparr. Middle. Terrible leaf. And a two-corner pin. They're right the same way. You went Brooklyn side.

You went Brooklyn side, huh? Good at all. Jesus. That, you have no chance of picking that up. Do you realize the viral moment that will become if you're able to pick up? This guy knows. We got some canes over here. Oh, he was listening.

Oh, there it is. Yeah. Came running over with the pantou flas. Get your friends. Get your friends, pantou flas. Everybody go to birdball right now like that guy did. Let's go. Tell your friends, get everybody.

Let's make it a UM party over there. That guy showed up and was playing. And then he saw he's the only one. So he's like, all right, I'm leaving. It's a, it's whoosh-wush. That's, I don't like that. It's who-o-o-o-o-and-a. I'm a who-who-who kind of guy.

I don't care what you say. All right, here, Rose, hold this. Rose, hold this. Do your job, Rose. Do your job, Rose. We're a wind event. It's a whoosh-boosh. What's the strategy?

Are you going to try to get the middle pin? Like, what are you going to do here? I'm going to try to throw it. How about that? Well, but wait a minute. Don't we need number four first? Yep. I was about to say it, Dan.

Number four. Kittle, George Kittle, we'll see you in Bahala, brother. Maybe he throws a ball every two. Now we're going to keep doing this. Okay. You loser. Man, he almost had that one. He had the right idea.

He had the right spot. Right idea. What do you expect? I threw a dime. I threw a dot right between the corner and the safety. How do you like that? So we still have three pins that are up. Are you going to keep trying to knock those down?

Okay, that's it. You're going to just bang through the rest. Dan Howl works every two shots at reset. A new frame. Yeah. I was hoping they would rejig. I was hoping they would rejigger it just for our bit. I was hoping they would rejigger it just for our bit.

it. They can't radio the back. They can't set pins up. All right. So set it up the way it was, and I want you to take four shots at that same pin combination. I want to see if I can have the viral. I can't do that.

We have a full rack of pins, and we're on number three. Caleb Williams, sir, you have my attention. Let's get a strike here. Caleb, William, sir, you have my attention. attention. I mean, it was Brooklyn, but we'll count it.

It was Brooklyn. All right. Chris, what I want you to set up is your dad was telling me the other day that he bowls about a 150. Set him up against Tony and let's see if Tony bowling this way can knock out your dad. Number two, Tony. I think you can. I think you can do it just this way.

Number two, playoff touchdowns. Justin Herbert, two. Joanne Jennings, two. It seems like the question between Tua and Herbert. Was neither. Oh, no, you can't do that to Herbert. It's got another strike. It's a big week for Cubans.

Of course I can. They're terrible. All right, Tony, this is big. I think I do want him bowling against your dad. Almost a good. We got an easy spare, though. I would take my dad. Set the table nicely for the spare.

Exactly right. I just need to hit in the middle and have it spin out and kick up. No, that was not setting the table. Put it on the pole at Levitart show. Is leaving seven pins up, setting it up nicely for the spare? Three, guys. I got fooled. I got fooled. There's four pins there. Hey, you hit it. You throw your nice strike ball here, that Brooklyn side. You can get this strike. I mean, this spare. What does that mean? Listen to. What about Hill's Kitchen? I'm sorry. I was distracted by the fuzzy, my eyesight and the fuzzy camera work at the end there. I thought seven pins were.

remaining. Number two. Oh, that was number two, Dan. Number one, picking up a QB and carrying him 10 yards into the end zone should be a crime punishable by the electric chair. Oh, wow. Okay, that's a little too strong. Not even suspending the push, push, no, no, electric chair. You're the guard that picks up

Josh Allen and goes 10 yards and knocks out the Jags, electric chair. You're that guy in the background. Josh Allen? Just standing ominously. Electric chair, maybe. Pat's fan right here. Big Pat's fan. He's got a Pat's hat on. This guy says, we love Drake May, baby, let's go. Drake May, Drake May. Let's go. That's not football. What Buffalo did at the end of that football game to win the football game is un-American, and while not punishable by the electric chair,

it's not football. I think if you put that on the poll, you could probably get a better result. The electric chair is too strong, Tony. We're changing things. It's too strong, Tony. Electric chair is too strong. Here go. Brooklyn side, Brooklyn side spare. There we go. Do you think he'd beat your dad, Chris?

No. Tony seems pretty awful, if I'm being honest. You've got this, Sean. That was a personal foul, by the way. That was a personal foul. Sean McGill almost broke my arm on the way back. All right, a bunch of excuses. All right, go to the sex shop.

Broke my arm. Sex shop. Go to the sex shop. All right. Former laser tag center. I know one more. I know Sean McGill's in on that. I love that.

I love that. Fingers and holes.