The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Deflection Masterclass (feat. Sex Expert April Lampert)

Episode Date: April 4, 2025

"People think sex starts when you enter the bedroom, but sex is happening all the time." After Hawk executes some top-shelf detective work to attempt to understand how Amin's whereabouts last night led to him showing up late to today's show, our favorite sexpert, April Lampert, returns to explain. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by FX's Dying for Sex on Disney+. Based on the podcast of the same name, Dying for Sex tells the story of Molly, who is diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Determined to feel everything she can before she can't feel anything, she decides to leave her unhappy marriage to explore her sexuality, with some encouragement from her best friend Nicky. FX's Dying for Sex, now streaming only on Disney Plus. Sign up now at DisneyPlus.com.

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Proximo, Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly. queervo. Welcome to the big suey presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Leventhal Show with Stu Gotz is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. All right, guys.

I mean, thought he could get that off, but not on the blackest show ever. He tried to lie to Andrew Hawkins. I didn't lie. Oh yeah, he didn't try to lie. He tried to misdirect. I just didn't tell you certain things. But you ain't gotta tell him

when we got an Afro detective in here named Andrew Hawkins, he was like, I hear your voice, I see your eyes. Oh, there is the imprint across your forehead. Are those durag lines? Yeah, you could get that off when Dan is here and Stu and Chris, they don't know about durag lines. My voice is my voice.

My voice is always deep. No, your voice has changed. My voice has got a rasp to it. It's always got a rasp to it. Nah, man. Do you understand how much metric liters of alcohol I go through a week? You think my voice is just like,

oh, usually I'm like this, but when I've had a night out I'll go like this. You think that's what happens? Nah man, you know what? I'm always this deep. You can gaslight all you want. Gaslight, what is that? I know a raspy voice in the morning.

Every man in my family has a deep voice. Even G Roy? Even G. If you catch us early in the morning, there's a certain rasp to it that I can point out. I'm gonna tell you right now, right? This is what happens. I walk in here, it's a viper's nest.

Before I even walk in here, I'm getting makeup done, I'm trying to come here correct. I hear the show, y'all are already getting on me. I'm like, okay, that's what we're doing? Regular, I mean, yesterday, I was like this, hi guys, what's going on? Today, I gotta do the Stephen A. And I gotta put my voice right down here

because that's the most menacing. If you think we was killing you after the show started, oh, 10 minutes before the show started, we was getting all. What were y'all saying? All the things that we said now. I ain't nobody scared of that. It was the same thing.

The funny thing is. You thought you really died. You thought you had extra material. There was a portion I thought you were really dead. Yeah, that's what, we actually started to get a little sad until you responded. I mean, because we were like, it is a possible, like it's not impossible.

Once there was no shit chat, I'm like, I'm telling you, he's every morning at 8 o'clock. I wish I wish that's that's where I'm at right now I blame Tony though. He was the one he brought the heart what I know You know Tony cares about you what I said what I said is do we know if a mean got home last night Do we have confirmation of him getting into the hotel? That's what we were at Yeah, because if a mean didn't get to the hotel, obviously his premonition, something could have happened last night. The moment he steps in the hotel, he's fine, I know it. We did the first eight minutes kind of roasting you

and then we were like, this might not age well. Let's literally dial it back a little. But you would love that. We said you'd love it. I said, I was like, Amin would be okay with this. You know what? Even if he's gone. Straight up, I regret not getting in a car accident now.

Oh my God, I would love right now. I would like, in my mind, my biggest dream now would have been to be laid up in a gurney, like everything in cast, and then on the screen just have the love of Tarzan, he's going like, oh, I mean, probably overslept. I'm like. His biggest regret is being alive.

Pretty much. Not dying, yeah. If it makes you feel any better, we quickly then shift it over to, are we gonna meet MJ? Yeah. You guys. What happened in Miami?

Hold on. Even when we thought you were dead, I was like, there's no way I helped Michael Jordan's coming. Hold on. You guys thought you would be invited to my funeral? That's where you guys were at? You thought. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you trying to say?

Roy, you're good. Thank you. That's crazy. Here's how it goes. If you've you trying to say? Roy, you're good. Thank you. That's crazy. Like, here's how it goes. If you've been on Cinephobe, you're good. Thank you. So Roy, Billy. Billy's been there.

Speed 2, yeah. Everyone else? Tony defended you. So what happened? Are we gonna get to the bottom of what happened? You come in here in a UK Nike Tech sweatsuit, you got Durag lines on, you know what I'm saying? Raspi voice. I think you and I could recognize Durag lines. Durag lines on, you know what I'm saying? Raspi voice.

I think you and I could recognize durag lines. Durag lines. I think it was incredible, but I think Billy probably could recognize durag lines too. I think it might be the only, yeah. You know what durag lines are? I had cornrows once. Oh yeah?

It was a summer, yeah. Shout out to my boy. Went to the Bahamas. Yeah, I was on a cruise. Honestly, like I did sleep with a durag tonight. You have to. It hurt so much to get it done. Particularly if your hair is not curly enough

to hold onto the cornrows, you better put a durag. You especially have to. Yeah, maybe two of them. I'm trying to find the picture to send to you guys privately, but yeah, that was one of those things that disappeared. Don't send it. I was worried, because I'm like, this is gonna be appropriation.

Don't send it, because if you wanted to be private, don't send it. You gotta look like Chris South for zingers when he was 12 you ever seen that picture He's got the braids on and then he got a durag I mean not do like his headband on but I want to ask a question cuz bill pronounced it Corn rolls and I hear people sometimes say corn rolls. It's corn rows, right? That's what I said. It's a row Yeah, I also heard rolls, but I know cornrows. Yeah, I know you heard rolls

You're late today Now we just I'm on my job right now, okay, you know what y'all gonna talk about this job I'm gonna hit the game winner. What what time did the game start last night? Okay, what time did the game start last night? 730? It was a TNT game. What time did it end? Oh, detective is in it. He's taking notes, man. 730 PM, heat game.

Yo, shout out to station golf. What are you, my baby mama? What time did the heat game end, roughly? I don't know, it was two hours or so. Two hours? Yeah, right. So we'll say 9.45, he's media, so he says hi, good bye. You think the game ended at 9.45?

Let's go with 10 o'clock. Hold on, it was a TNT game. That means every time out and every quarter break is longer than a regular one You could just answer these questions. Irrelevant information, but fine. It's relevant. It's 10 o'clock Okay, 10 o'clock. We okay with 10 o'clock? He's the media he sees his friends they talk this thing. Oh you talk about the extra stuff? You probably left the arena around 1035 ish midnight

35 ish probably about a 12 minute walk if you're talking from there to the Elsa So I'm gonna walk. Oh you think he went to the Elsa You got to get ready like he's not gonna wear his game clothes to The bright side Club Mansion. I don't know. I haven't gone out You gotta get ready. Like he's not gonna wear his game clothes to... The bright side? Club Mansion. I don't know, I haven't gone out in Miami in a long time. RIP I think.

I'm sorry, Club Bed. Pre-Vay? It's been a while. Man, Pre-Vay. What do we, what do they... This man. What? Okay.

We from the early 2000s, man. Did you come right out of a Jay-Z song right now? No, it was... My prime Miami days was like 2006, seven, eight. No, I don't know years. Show me like jeans with the leg. Was it this, this? Stop me whenever.

My prime Miami days? Yes, like the jeans. Oh, the jeans? Oh, they were. No, stop me, stop me. Right there. Okay. We talked about this.

I would just go into the store and just pick a pair of jeans I didn't look at the side wait Let me get them How about those Anichi I'll take two pair those of us of age Pelle Pelle they got a Pelle Pelle on the team Pelle Larsen yeah, Carl Knot all them. We all were in or all all those of us of age, we're all in that era. We wore jeans that were way too big. Yes.

They're back. God knows, yeah, they're back. I love, my kid knows. I know this from my children. I still have a pair of Fubu khaki shorts in my house. You're waiting, you're waiting on the return, right? It's only a couple, it's gotta be a couple years away. Like there's gonna be, I got them in 02.

I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen. For us, by us. Hawk, I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen. For us, by us. Hawk, I'm gonna tell you right now. Someone famous, is more famous than us, is gonna wear like their Fat Albert sweater or whatever, and then it's gonna be back in, and then you're gonna pull him out, and he was like, yeah!

Platinum Connect collection. Here's my problem. 90% of my baggy ass 2000s clothes that aren't like nameless faceless white tees or whatever, Sean John, that one I don't think is gonna come back. No, I think that's the other one. Rock-A-Ware. That's it.

Oh, I got a Rock-A-Ware polo. That was button-ups, big jeans and button-ups. Oh yeah. Big jeans, button-ups, long chains. That was like my Miami Prime era. So you probably left the L-servant at 11.45 PM. He be gone get you off the case, but he don't know what level of detective we working with that place Can I see your uber? Absolutely, not let me just let me see your last 24 hours of uber. I don't respond buddy. Yeah, exactly

I don't respond okay To anybody let me let me see how your rating has changed. What was his rating a couple days ago? Who figured this out? A black 491 was what it was. A black 491? That's like a regular 86? Yeah, 486. Okay, okay.

Exactly what he had. That's good to have. That's how I know, because he's black. I know. Someone else would have given me like, oh, it was a 42, like no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Charlie, what do you think happened to a mean? I don't know. Good job, oh, it was like a four two? Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Charlie, what do you think happened to Amin? I don't know.

Good job, Charlie, way to go, way to go, Charlie, way to go. All right, implicit. I do want to address the camera directly. Hey, I've been with Charlie every night since I've been here, except for last night. Except for last night. Really makes you think. Except for last night.

Interesting. Sounds like someone went off program and it wasn't me. It was Dominique Foxworth. Oh no, it wasn't my fault. He didn't want to go. But the one thing I did- He didn't know that y'all were sitting behind the bench. He knew.

As- I did get a screenshot of the ticket. But I thought it was only a ticket for Dominique. He sent a screenshot of a single ticket. Hold on, you thought, hey, got your tickets in the game. What an old move. I wasn't- Like a paper ticket for Dominique. He sent a screenshot of a single ticket. You thought, hey, we got you tickets to the game. What an old move. You thought I wasn't? Like a paper ticket?

No, it was a screenshot. That is an old move to take a picture of the ticket and send it off. It was a screenshot. Look what I get to do. Baby Billy Fox was over here. Just text me you're going home, game, Nick. You tried, oh, it wasn't me.

I told you I didn't buy the tickets. It was Golf who took the screen shot. The text, I wasn't. I wasn't with my phone for the hour they were discussing if they should buy tickets and Dominique was like, yeah get one, Charlie's not around right now. So I didn't assume that one was got for me. So Golf, this is how I know man.

All them fly ass suits and the handkerchiefs and all that stuff and the bracelets, now I know. Oh, that's where it goes. I thought it was just merely he was just stashing it all for a rainy day. Nope, he's buying damn near floor. The t-shirt you got under that Nike tag. Oh, I've been waiting for someone to ask.

Okay. I've worn this before on the show. Letitia, you were at a strip club last night. Make a note. You think, hold on, you think, guess what? Sounds like someone didn't get the reference. This is the DMX? Yeah.

Okay, there you go. Which is why I think that's exactly why he said what he said. I think I know the reference. Honestly, I was concerned. The phone wasn't about strippers? Well, I mean. It wasn't, but it was about the women. What? You know, you go into that.

That's a conversation starter in the strip club. Hold on, that song was about the women? That's a strip club conversation starter. Who could have guessed that the song called What These Bitches Want? It's a master class on Deflection of the Out. That's also sexist to assume that that song is about women, by the way. I mean, I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song.

I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song.

I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I think it's a good song. I. That's a master class on Deflection of the Hound. That's also sexist to assume that that song is about women, by the way. You're not going to get movies about it. It's about the socioeconomic crisis going on in America. Could have been about breeding dogs. Yep.

That's a lot of dogs in all of one gender. Now I have a list of the most updated Miami strip clubs. Billy, if you get a chance. Just shoot that thing. King of Diamonds does not exist anymore. Okay. Not KOD. Yeah, KOD, RIP. Really?

It's a Cadillac dealership now. Yeah. What? Jeez. Look at you guys, you guys are old. You're like, oh. That's impressive, that's smart. Everyone's like, six of my favorite songs.

Good transition right there to go from KOD to Cadillac. You saw Team Morant. I did. Did you see. Morant. I did. Did you see him after the game? Oh. Define after the game. Did you guys hang out? At the club.

I didn't hang out with T. I didn't hang out with T, no. But I did see T. You said define after the game. You did see him. After the game. I saw him, I talked to him. When the game was over.

Did you see him in a different location than the arena? Than the arena. That's a yes. No. Nope, it's too late. You don't think about that. I? Than the arena. That's a yes. No. Nope, it's too late. You don't think about that. I die after seeing that. It's not something you, that's a,

do I answer this question truthfully, Ponder? I see a lot of people, what can I do? I gotta go through, oh, was he one of the people? No, he wasn't. I think we're getting somewhere. Also, let's assume I did. What's wrong with that? Nobody said anything.

What's wrong? You're so defensive. I don't know. I know how cops do, man. Did you eat this morning? Did I eat this morning? Yeah. No, I didn't.

Okay. I would eat here. Can we get him some Chick-fil-A in here? No, hold on. That's how you get them next time. Okay, hold on now. Can we get just a little meal in here for me? We're just gonna keep this conversation going.

You hungry? So for the melanin deficient friends of ours who are watching this show, there's this television program called First 48. They know what First 48 is. White people are not allowed to watch first 48. They don't know it. They don't have it.

There's two shows that were mainstream shows when it created, but somehow black people loved, and the rest of America was like, oh, I don't know what the deal is. Number one. Race deflection. I like what you're doing. That's you, I got all the moves. He's digging deep in his bag. He's digging deep all the moves. He's digging deep in his bag.

It's a master class. You wanna be on Madden's in his bag. Are you on my side or are you on the other side? So number one is First 48, right? Which is what everything Hawk is doing today is all straight out of First 48. Number two is to catch a predator. When I tell you that this on Sundays from like 2011

to like 2014 dominated, dominated the lives of me and every person I knew who was of color. But the white people are like, what's the catch word? I'm like, what do you mean? You don't know what Chris Hansen is? I like that take. What do you have to say about that? That's a bad take.

I thought you were gonna go with, what are you, Carbonara? Why don't you have a seat? Talk about that one. No, no, Carbonara effect, it's not, it's the people on it, not the people watching it. White people love watching Carbonara effect. You cold? Carbonara was always going after tricking black people.

That's the, you know why? Cause we emote, we emote. White people, you do those tricks on them like, oh my gosh, that's all we got. Like, black folks are like, oh Jesus. The differences between a black and a white funeral. Can we get a cigarette in here for a mean? Just relax man.

Look, I know it wasn't your fault. I get it. Look, I mean I think things happen. He's dressed like a cop. That's an amazing point. That's true, you need a bath. The cat's alarm didn't go off. And the vest, the tactical vest.

I will turn this around and turn it into an undercover. No, you're overreacting. Malik Yoba. No, you did! That was amazing. I'm tryingoba. No, you did! That was amazing. I'm trying to be young, like listen man. I had an instant reaction.

I know there's a bunch, you were out last night, things happen. I've been down before. You're running into some old friends. That's normal, it's South Beach after a John Moran game. He's putting hand blickies all over section 606. Did y'all have a problem with that by the way? Not really.

Not really. Damn, he's good. He is so, he's excellent. I don't think so, did you have a problem with that by the way? Not really. Damn he's good. He's so, he's excellent. Oh wait, hold on. He's excellent at trying to do show as opposed to just talk about my life? Yeah, I think I'm pretty good at it. What is so amazing. So amazing. The deflection.

And also like you try to take credit for doing good things when we are just making gold out of the fact that you overslept and you're not Iron Man like you told us you were. I'm absolutely Iron Man. What are you talking about? What are you, I'm.

Okay, I got a question. Away from all of this, away from all this. I wanna get to Tony about his bracket challenge in a second. Oh, you want the show, amazing. Yeah, we got sponsors to do it. How about that? The sponsors don't wanna sponsor this part.

Before we get to that. Uh-huh straight forward question for you. Yes or no has anything ever been your fault? Absolutely. There we go. All right, Tony bracket challenge guys Jimmy John's bracket challenge. I'm excited to say I'm perfect What the second chance bracket? I'm absolutely perfect all number one seeds into the final four. I've got floored on one side I got Duke on the other side Duke winning me and about I'm trying to think so the the top prize for the Jimmy John's Second chance bracket is 500 bucks. The problem is me and 500 other people are also perfect So we're all splitting a dollar right now So I don't know how much I'm gonna make but hopefully we stay perfect about the entire thing I make five bucks six bucks

Tony's toasted bracket braacket Bragging Challenge is sponsored by Jimmy John's. They're finally here and they're hot. Try the new toasted sandwiches at Jimmy John's. Order one today. Question. Crazy bragging, I'm updating what my bracket is. It's insane.

Tony's take, I'm perfect. A mean's take on why he was late, I'm perfect. Got it. I heard this bid before, this segment before, it's the Toasted Challenge. All of a sudden bragging was introduced. Toasted, bracket, bragging update. The bragging.

He was bragging, that was me throwing a little. That was who you editorialized. That was me furbying it. I was worried that Jimmy John's was like, Tony likes to brag. I was like, oh, okay, sponsor. You give us money, we'll talk about your brand. You don't tell, you don't editorialize on my guys

That's where I was at Now I know it's Chris Jimmy John's my bad. What do you attribute your perfection to? Is there something about your back in the best teams? Yeah, right, but I mean I'm saying how did you know? Was there something I'm just giving you a chance. No. Yeah, I'm saying picking the best teams That's that's literally all it is like it wasn't it wasn't like an understanding of a specific matchup. College basketball's like, hey, them good, them bad. Give me the good one. Basically, like we've talked about on the show. March Madness as a collective is great.

When you watch the individual games, you start realizing college basketball kind of sucks. Sucks. Right? But then you start looking at the great teams. Florida's got a really good player in Clayton. Duke is obviously incredible. Houston's a great team.

Auburn. Auburn with Johnny Broom. Like it's pretty easy to see who the great teams are and now why they're in the final four. Obviously there's only gonna be two left and at the end only one left and I think it's gonna be Duke. But picking the best four teams usually doesn't work

except this year when they're so much far ahead better than every other team. Sounds good logic. Adam Silver, I was thinking about him last night and also thinking about you. When Adam Silver. No, you weren't thinking about me last night. You're thinking about me today, but last night, clearly, not a thought.

I was thinking about you after the game. After I saw you? Yeah, no, no, no, it was after the game. You want to, hold on, everyone's like, oh, I bet Amin looks tired. Like, yesterday I was tired. I was dragging. I'm walking through.

I go down those million steps from the media seats down to the floor to get to back to the tunnel. And as I'm walking, I see Taylor Rooks, right? That's my friend. Superstar. I do my little funny business with Taylor. Hey, I make a joke, whatever. Don't know what that means, but go ahead.

Write that down. What are you guys doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? It's a weird way to describe whatever the hell it is you did. I do my funny business. Yeah. What is this, Roger Rabbit?

No, I mean. What are we talking about? Okay, so I am a little bit of a cartoon character. Are you? Okay. With my media friends. Okay. Right?

Not with y'all. You can't be trusted with the real me. So like. You've been on Cinephobe. My real, there you go. You've been on Cinephobe. You would get. As I turn away, as Taylor's walking around,

I see, the first person I saw was Goff. And Goff looked guilty as shit. He's like, and I was like, man, what are you doing? I thought, man, you know what? Guys, one night in Miami, whatever, like, hey man, what's up? And then I turned and I look at this smug bastard right here and he did, you know what really hit me hard was that golf had the shock and shame,

like shit, we're here and we didn't invite a mean. Dominique was just like, hey man, what you doing here? Hey, how'd you get here? I had no guilt. Nonchalant as F and I was just like, this guy is, I'm confused. Did it drive you doing here? Hey, how'd you get here? I had no guilt. Nonchalant as F, and I was just like, this guy is. Did it drive you to drink? I don't get driven to drink. I'm confused about why you think I should have some.

You think I should have some Chalon. There's no reason to have Chalon in that moment. It's proper to be nonchalant. I didn't buy the tickets. I was invited. I'm at a game that you're working at. Why the hell did I have to show up? You didn't know I was working though.

I didn't buy the tickets, Amin. There was an extra, because Charlie said no, and at no point did you, y'all literally said, we would rather have an empty seat than to check what Amin's doing. I mean, you're the only one. The empty seat is implied, Amin. You're the only one.

Everybody in this building could be offended by this, but you're the only one. The NTC's implied to me. You're the only one. Everybody in this building could be offended by this, but you're the only one that's actually offended. We did not know Charlie wasn't coming. We knew Charlie was going to do a dinner with his in-laws and he may be back in time. Amin's friend didn't make it there until, excuse me, golf's friend didn't make it there until midway through the third quarter.

Charlie could have been coming in too, but that's not where I was trying to go. I was steering away from the drunk talk detective work and going towards something that made me think of you and that I've heard you be critical of Adam Silver's lack of David Sterniness. And pets. I'm gonna be critical of your lack of ability

to discern between me and Goff. You said a means friend was there. Oh, I mean, Goff's friend. We all look alike, don't we? Oh, come on, man. And also, don't step on my investigation. That's the was there. I mean, golf's friend. We all look alike, don't we? Oh, come on, man. And also, don't step on my investigation. That's the only thing. All right, all right.

Obstruction of justice. I was trying to give you some time to connect the dots. See how he foisted it on you? He's blaming you. He's like, I was trying to help you out, but you're welcome. That's what he's doing. That doesn't sound like a good partner, I'm just saying.

I was a little offended that I didn't get offered You know for to go out whatever the big dinner was the other night I never even Do I do that's exactly what I will so so I well I guess you'd feel better I feel worse So I haven't been invited to anything, but I did get texts asking. Hey, where would you recommend? We go to dinner That is a wild What'd you say? Ridiculous, but it was bad for his kids to get no recommendations Hours later not be invited to the team. Where should we go? But hey, hey Billy

Where do you think is a good spot for like? Friends and co-workers that really care about each other have a good dinner. You want to hear the wild part I didn't even know anything like even though I said hey guys, let's meet up and they're like, oh we're tired co-workers that really care about each other to have a good dinner. You wanna hear the wild part? I didn't even know anything, like, even though I said, hey guys, let's meet up, and they're like, oh, we're tired, whatever, we can meet on Wednesday. On Thursday, I'm sitting here, I'm getting makeup done,

and Jessie, who does our makeup, was like, so how was XYZ Restaurant last night? I'm like, what? She's like, that's where you guys went, right? I'm like, who went? This just clicked for me. There's jealousy that there's a relationship with the namesake host of a show.

They don't get this, that me and Dominique get to just hang out on the side. No, it's not that. Hey, you ever want to fire that flare in the sky, buddy? Nah. That means to be clear, I'll be more than willing to take responsibility if I hurt anyone's feelings. Certainly was my intent. That's on me. That's my best. Was your I hurt anyone's feelings. Certainly was my intent.

That's on me, that's my best. Was your intent? I should've, was not my intent. Oh, I think it certainly was my intent. I should've invited more people to do more things. I will say though, I would like you to also take responsibility in that you, the night that we all went out, you reach out to golf

and you ask golf what was up. We're sitting at dinner with golf and golf is like Amin's texting us, are we going to another spot? At no point did you reach out to me. At no point did anybody reach out to me directly. Me, you and golf. After the original check to golf.

This is boring. No one wants to hear about this. This is gonna be the fourth time. Oh wow, this is boring. The fourth time that I've tried to pivot to something. You've done two hours of show based on my life and now it's about your life. We thought you were dead for the first hour though. We did. I've tried to pivot to something. You've done two hours of show based on my life, and now it's about your life.

We thought you were dead for the first hour. We did. We legit thought that you kicked the can. Dog, let me tell you something. We were trying to figure out how we were going to get to this with Michael Jordan. We want to take over, and Steamroll, the most outrageous thing is, you were late.

We laughed at you for being late. Every time I steer the show in a direction that we can talk about actual sports content, you steer it back to this this that's no longer interesting. I'm happy to do it. Are you going to say something interesting about it? Go ahead, by all means. I steered it back into this?

Yes. How? We got tape. Every time I said, I thought about you, in the Adam Silver tape, take. You said I thought about you. You turned it back in the direction. Because you said you thought about me. By all means, I mean, please make this interesting.

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Breakfast flan, dun dun dun dun. Stugats. You've never heard the breakfast flan song? No, hit me with it. Okay. I wish I had some breakfast flan. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Breakfast flan. Da da da da da da da da da. Breakfast flan. Da da da da da da da da da.

Where can I find a breakfast like that? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. This is the Don LeBretard Show with the Stugats. You got... Alright, as I mentioned before. Hold on Dominique, there's a lot of stuff. You guys are looking way too deep into my boy right here. A lot of pocket watching on Amin, a lot of seeing stuff like that. A lot of pocket watching. You know what?

What's up? Don't look now. But... Oh! It's time for a new game. Don't look now. Both the all go be blindfolded for this. Got to be. Can't look. I mean, stop looking. Seriously, stop looking.

Is there a liner? I can't see it. Don't look now is presented by Smirnoff, the world's number one vodka. Please drink responsibly. Don't look now, boys, but Joe Milton, Dallas Cowboy. What do you think of that trade, Dominique? I definitely can look at that. Don't look. Don't look at it. Don't look at it.

Just think about it. I feel like I can look at that. I think that's something worth looking at. No, the point is don't look. I closed my eyes. I closed my eyes. My bad. All right, Hawk, what do you think about it?

I like it. Thank you. He likes them. I like them. That's what we wanted, Hawk. Joe Milton is not taking over for Dak Prescott at any time. But he took Dak's injury every year. They need a backup quarterback. Cooper Rush played like 65 games the last couple years.

Don't look now. Cardinals just made Trey McBride the highest paid tight end in the league. Thoughts? I mean... Arizona. Yeah, your hometown team, my guys, COD. Shout out to Kyle and Mary. Trey McBride is his name. Yes. That's the most generic build a player name I've ever heard in my life. Trey McBride. You know what? No, it's not a video game name. You know what it is? It's a movie. It's a rom-com and And Trey McBride plays for the Arizona Thunder Sneaks or whatever, something like that.

That's what it is. He does sound like a former player who's a broadcaster. Trey McBride on the call along with Jason Storm. I feel like it's kind of an investment into Kyler Murray because they have such good chemistry. It's like a security blanket that it's almost like, hey, we wanna make sure we keep Kyler happy, which is kinda, I don't know know Dominique. Are you looking?

He's not looking now. Okay. Thank you. I know how about k1 How about throw the ball into the end zone with trey McBride? He had three touchdowns to one of them was a fumble that he recovered in the end zone Don't mean that throwing the end zone about that also Marvin Harrison jr. Let's give him also true You know what k1 you got to figure it out got a lot of weapons out there What else you got Gino Smith 75 million? Oh extension with the Raiders. Shout out to Gino something or nothing Also a mean a great call by a mean. Yeah. I mean like each come in you want to talk about today know about that I don't know if they do it. They probably don't I don't what does that mean? I mean tell them. Oh, is that a me?

When Gino Smith signed with the Seahawks, I think it was his first year or the second year in the Seahawks We had a show in the off season where I said Geno's about to kill it. It was the first year after Russell Wilson left, so it was Geno's first year, and I said, he's about to kill it. And a bunch of people on the show, most loud of them was Chris Whittingham,

were like, oh, you're out of your mind. And I said, he's gonna throw for 30,000, what was it? You said over, I think 4,000 yards, 30 touchdowns. 4,000 yards, 30 touchdowns. 4,000 yards, 30 touchdowns. And like, I called his exact stat line the season before it happened. How?

God, you just gotta like that. Oh, I guess because I was oversleeping and then like having too much to drink with Team Morant, that's how I got it done. Ain't that right, Bill? Saw it in a dream? Dreams, man. What else, Tony? Oh, sorry, it in the dream? Dreams, man. What else, Tony?

Oh, sorry, it's time to look. You gotta look before you don't look, because we have, last time I was here, we had a sex expert named April Lampard on, so I decided to have her back on this time. We are up against the clock, but we have one very, very important question for you, April, so thank you for joining us.

How does lack of sleep impact a man's sexual performance? Oh, well, great question, and good morning, everyone. So sleep is one of the most important things that we can do for ourselves, right? And if you're tired, guess what's gonna follow being tired? Your penis. Most likely, if your brain's not responding to things, your penis is not gonna respond.

And yes, y'all, you do think with your penis a lot of times, right, and not your brain. April, that was an excellent answer to the question, because what I zeroed in on, as you said, was if you're tired. What if you're not tired? Well, so if you get lack of sleep, but you're not tired? Okay, so if you get lack of sleep but you're not tired, okay, so I would think those things would go hand in hand. However, that just means maybe your diet

needs to be adjusted because everything that you put into your body and everything you want to put your body into, you know, you have to make sure that it's balanced and full of nutrition. So think about what you eat. If you're eating like a diet full of a bunch of dairy and things that weigh you down, even if you have enough sleep and you're not tired, that also could make your penis tired. What if the penis isn't tired though either? Well, I thought the question was

about being tired and your sex drive. I don't know if you know this idiom, but it's called hit dog gone holla. And that is what the idiom is called. I got another question. No dog was hit. You missed the dog. The dog is living its life.

First of all, I wanna give you a chance to tell people where they can find you and promote your own show. And then I wanna ask you another question, but please go ahead, April. I gave me all the questions and I'm April. I am from the Shameless Sex podcast. I'm an author and you can find all of our things

at shamelesssex.com. We do retreats and all sorts of fun things. And I love being on your show. Thanks for having me. And hit me with all the questions. I'm here for you. What is something that guys get wrong most about sex? I would say the thought of that,

it's all about the orgasm. It doesn't have to end in orgasm for either of the folks involved, right? If you're wanting to please someone, don't think about the end result. Think about what's happening during the experience. And if orgasm happens, think of that as a bonus, not the total objective.

Yes. Now, I like that take. That's gonna be good for me. Going forward, we're gonna- Can that clip that bit and email it to everyone we know Lot of guys in the group chat are gonna be like see When you get into your head right if you get into your head then you are just thinking about What what's gonna happen? So you're not even enjoying yourself Like think about all the senses that are involved, not just penetration. Yes, what is the best thing a guy can focus on

to enhance his own sexual performance? I would say think about every moment that you're experiencing. I know it sounds like really wooey or whatever, but think about the presence. What are you smelling? What are you tasting? What is your body?

What are you feeling? Just get you tasting? What are you? What is your body? What are you feeling? Just get out of your head and get in like tap into your tap into your penis tap into yourself This is you know why I like her because I've never had anyone tell me to tap in more into my penis What do you recommend this is not for me this for a friend of mine What do you recognize for you if you happen to not perform up to what you want to? Do you just go with the classic I'm sorry? Or is there something more humor I can bring into that?

What do you recommend there? Good question, good question. Not you, your friend. Yeah, my friend. Friend of his. Okay, well I hate to answer a question with a question, however, it's a bit subjective, right? Because if you think about it,

what's too short or too long? If it's too short for you or too long for you, what about with the person you're hooking up with? Maybe it's just the right amount of time for them. Or so I think getting out of your head, look, this is really important to remember again and again. I know it's that simple and it sounds too simple. However, it's true because of all you're thinking about is, and I know it's that simple and it sounds too simple, however, it's true.

Because if all you're thinking about is, am I lasting long enough, or did I just come too fast? Then what's gonna happen? It's not gonna help your longevity at all. So it's about just connecting and knowing that, like have confidence in what you're doing, and you don't have to apologize. If you wanna turn it into a joke, be like,

yo, that was good for me, how was it for you? Yeah. Oh, I've done that one. Oh no, I mean, he, that was good for me, how was it for you? Yeah. Oh, I've done that one. No, no, I mean, he's done that one. Yeah, he's done that one. Yeah, yeah. All right, April, thank you so much for joining us. If there is one parting secret, I feel like,

I'm sorry, I mean. I had a question. What about the performance of males who have visible undergarments under their knit shirts? Does that help or hinder the performance? Okay, so you're saying if they have just underwear? Just look in your Zoom right now. Just look in your Zoom.

He's trying to make fun of me, but go right ahead. He's saying, like, if someone is dressed like this, should you anticipate that they will have an awful performance, mediocre performance, tremendous performance? You're pretty good at this. That's a good one. I would think that... So I like what you're wearing. The vibe, at least what I can see.

That looks great. The little mesh with some tank top action underneath. I think that's good. Knit, not mesh. Little skin. Knit, not mesh. I think that it shows that you have a lot of courageous attitude towards life and that you're probably

gonna be great in the sack, because you're probably adventurous. So I would say, yeah, let's go, let's see what you got. I've also found, April, that what my kind of secret move is to listen. I gotta listen. It's before. People think sex starts when you enter the bedroom.

But my experience has been, it's happening all the time. You gotta listen, you gotta lead up. It's all about anticipation. I wanna give you a mind orgasm. It's all about anticipation, preparation, perspiration, penetration. I didn't like that last one. I was on a roll and the last one threw it off.

Who'd you listen to? I think you should come on our show and talk about this because I love it. Don't you tip me with a good time, April. Tell me when, I'll be there. I'm gonna bring my friend Amin, too. Who'd you listen to? Y'all are welcome.

Whoever's working on the wall back there needs to come, too. Hey! For real. Yeah, let's go. Who'd you listen to before you dressed like an extra from Shottas? That was funny. Last question, April.

For a guy who, you know, maybe for a friend of mine who has described as being too big, right? What could they do to make sure that everybody leaves, you know, the situation for, you know, him and his, maybe his wife, like, they can have it feel like they've had a good time. Thanks, Hawk. Yeah. Okay.

I have something to share with you all that's kind of it's so, so yes, there is such a thing as too big or not the right size. There's also a thing as big vaginas versus smaller vaginas. For real, right, shallow vaginas. So if you are too big, there are like these bumpers you could put on your cock. So it could kind of stop shorter than hitting like the cervix however sometimes it might not be the right fit

and if it hurts someone continuously you might have to find another human I'm not I say that with another hole or or or another hole yes with consent I I concur that could be a good a good way to uh to find a solution however you don't want them always walking with a limp you know so it's good to to maybe go slow yeah and then if it is too big you could you could work up to it things can adjust to each other eventually however sometimes if it is just too big then yeah I don't want to give you bad news though there's no such thing I think everybody's great the way they are.

Thank you, April. You make us feel so confident. Thank you so much. My friend says thank you for that advice. All right. All right, you guys can go find April on her. Buy her books, listen to her podcasts, which I'm going to be a guest on.

Somebody make sure we make that happen, because I can't wait to tell all my secrets. Charlie. So everybody can be as great as me. Thank you so much, April. Have a good weekend. Thanks, April. All right, I mean, did we learn anything? Yeah, we learned apparently you went to Bimini last night.

So you think Shata's is a bad movie? I think it's a hilarious movie. I don't know if I would call it a great movie if you said it under your breath. Oh yeah, no, Shata's is great, man. I see. So I think this is, I have this issue with people oftentimes is when we're talking about a product,

whether it's a movie or it's food or it's a restaurant or whatever, you grade on one scale. For what Shata's is, I was going through Amazon looking for something to watch with my wife a couple days ago and she was astonished by the shows that had five stars. Some of the shows that had all five stars, I don't remember.

There was a bunch of shows. It was something like that, but just a bunch of shows. I felt like all the shows on there had five stars. And I was like, no, they know the assignment. Like the people who are showing up to see this show. And when I turned on Shata's, I knew what I wanted to see. And Shata's gave me everything that I wanted to see. Yeah, and when I walk around in this sexy shirt,

I'm advertising what you're gonna get, you're gonna get it. Hawk, you seen Shatis? I have not seen Shatis since college. So you have seen it? Yeah, but I was like in and out. It's a long time ago, it's not memorable. I'm not sure if he's seen it actually. Yeah, no, it's like a hood classic.

I was waiting for Hawk to say, I've seen it, but Chris hasn't, can you tell Chris what it's about? I've seen of it. So we had this discussion yesterday, or maybe two days ago. It was about Paid in Full, and how Paid in Full is the ultimate to America's movie. Because people of a certain America have all seen it,

and can recite it, and recite it gleefully. And then other people are like, like Charlie, are like, Charlie, are like, what's Paid in Full? Now you, self-claimed, right? That you grew up, no, I'm just saying like. Are you gonna say self-claimed black man? No, no, the opposite.

Self-claimed that you've lived amongst. I lived amongst all the peeps. Yeah, so in your experience, Paid in Full, is it a two Americas movie? Yeah, Paid in Full is a two Americas movie. Like your friends in high school weren't like, hey. Nah, they weren't like, everybody eats me. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

That's a two Americas movie. Most of the Rockefeller movie catalog is a two Americas movie. But that was a real movie. Even Kevin Hart, who is- Paper soldiers? Exactly, like you know,, who is like, Paper Soldiers? Exactly, like you know, I know Kevin Hart from Paper Soldiers. That's when I'm introduced to Kevin Hart.

Soul Plane? You know? Skinny Kevin Hart. Remember that? If Beanie Seagull's in it, it ain't for y'all, Chris, that's all. We going to the club next, where we will find a lot of people, probably a mean.

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