The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Devil Knows More (feat. Tom Segura)

Episode Date: January 15, 2026

"Rich Eisen's on drugs? That's crazy!" Jeremy breaks some Fernando Mendoza news, Mike's dad asks him for tickets to the game, and Tony checks back in from La Casa De Los Trucos. Then, Tom Segura stops by to explain why the rest of the country hates UM, why he got roasted by Joe Burrow and Nick Bosa, his love for Michael Irvin, and to translate an ultra-efficient Refran Del Dia. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan. Live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Welcome to the big suey, presented by Draft Kings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be. to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys. I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere,

fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Levitart show is presented by Draft Kings. Drap Kings, the crown is yours. As a proper network and whatever it is that remains of ESPN de Portis, I did not understand what Jeremy was shouting about sources close to Mendoza. I heard you guys, like all of a sudden this is a newsroom and, and Jeremy is shouting sources

close to Mendoza as I continue to interview his high school coach as if he's Cuban, even though his name is David Dunn. Yeah, I have a plugged-in source close to Fernando Mendoza. Man, you're sure just bullshit again. What? That says the Hoosiers are flipping champs? So I said. They are. They are. They are. They're undefeated. I'm, they're undefeated. I'm, there's shows anti-Maiami and all it is we do for several days and say, how is this point spread keep climbing? I want to give all the glory to God. But I do have a source close to Fernando Mendoza that has given me some information that actually is probably going to help the hurricanes. So Mike, if you guys want to talk about this on Kane's Insight, it turns out Fernando

Mendoza is lactose intolerant. Oh no. So if you're looking for a weakness, all you have to do is get some dairy in that diet when you're looking at the at the Gatorade that's on the sidelines, maybe sprinkle a little of like powder of some kind when he's going to get some coffee. You get rid of that almond creamer. You put some whole milk. Dan, whole milk with a W. I don't know if you know that. There's a W in whole milk. You make sure that happens. And you're going to have, you're going to have your way with Fernando Mendoza. He's going to go to Tommy Yick City. You get it? You got what you did there? Dan, I broke it to my Keynes chat, 30 deep that I just clued you in on Keynes fans hating you and that it's almost like you don't

know about consequences. A record nine ha-haz in 30 seconds. let them know that Fernando's lactose intolerant because that might be really big information for them. Nine ha haas. If they want to make an impact. 30 seconds. Do their part. That's a ratio. That is.

Time to look in the mirror, Dan. You know about that ratio? Clearly, what is happening around here, I'm not joking when I tell you, color me stunned. As I said, guilty is charged. Up to 12 ha-has. This has never happened to me. I don't think there's been a case of this ever happening. And the Miami fan base, I suppose, will enjoy seeing me stripped naked in front of you all this way.

Like, obviously... Like yesterday. It would go... Yeah, you saw it yesterday. I would do anything for this program as long as it's winning all of its games. I can't believe I didn't get a happens-to-know-for-that information. That's good stuff.

None of you have that information, it's not your bit. It's journalism. You're right that they could poison, legitimately poison Mendoza. With a little bit of milk! If soy milk, if someone were to say... How do we sneak it in? Put some cheese on his chicken nuggets! Just get the soy out of there, give him whole milk,

and you're going to have a quarterback who's got the stomach rumbles. You can't play this game with the stomach rumbles. You cannot play against Rubin Bain if you've got a tummy ache. What hotel they stand at? Let's do this. I feel like you've just endangered a kid. Let's not do this. All right, let's not do this.

My dad will never forgive me if we hurt Mendoza. Well, that's the thing. My mother won't either. Jeremy's fault. My mom is rooting for Mendoza. I'm like, how could you? It's lactose and tolerance. Don't you know what it is that this school has done for us?

Tommyache. Bobby, you'd never be on television without it. How could you go for Mendoza? So my dad, as I've mentioned, is totally in on this storyline. And he phaetime me yesterday. and this is one of the rare times that I didn't ignore it. And I answered it, even though I didn't want to. Now, he FaceTimed you.

Yeah, yeah, does that in the hopes to see my daughter. But she wasn't there, so it was just me laying on the couch with Roma, and I still somehow answered it. Usually I just like answer and immediately shove it in my daughter's. How do you answer it? Hey, Dad. And then, you know, I always thought like. With that level of enthusiasm? Yeah, that level of enthusiasm.

My dad does this thing occasionally. I have to explain it to him. I'm like, I spend the entire day talking about sports. And the last person I want to talk sports with is my dad just because I don't respect them. Or sports opinions, for that matter. Well, you could have left out the first part and just left it. I love my dad. He's a great Abu.

Anyways, he asked me for a ticket to the game. Oh, no. He probably heard you say you had 12. No, he didn't. He doesn't actually support what I do. But he loves saying that he's my dad, which is cool. Same relationship I have with the University of Miami. And I'm like,

that I respectfully and I did say respectfully even though I was totally disrespect to me at the time yeah I want the seat to go to someone that actually cares about the Miami Hurricanes and my dad doesn't care about the Miami Hurricanes he cares about the scene he wants

to be there because of the whole Cuban storyline he's been so in on Mendoza and it seems like he'd be rooting for Indiana he would be he told me he's like man it's just Fernando's gone through so much adversity that I really want this for Fernando. And I'm like, Dad, you don't want this for me?

I've been sacrificing a lot of time, money and effort here, trying to get to this point. He's like, I really want them to finish the story. I'm like, what is their story? This is their story. They didn't matter. Hurting your son? Yeah, they didn't matter, and now they matter. That's a great story.

It's awesome for them. The story here is the pain. Like, I've tasted the riches. And now it's been 20 years. I'm offended for you. I was offended. And then he's like, okay, where can I watch the game? I'm like, anywhere?

And he's like, yeah, but I don't want to wait for a seat. I'm like, Dad, enough of this. He's like, what if I'm trying to get to this Columbus watch party. I'm like, you went to Berlin. That's a hated rival. What is happening? The Mendoza thing has gotten the older Cubans crazy. They love this guy more than they love their own town.

because he is an archetype of what they thought this country would mean for their children. Mendoza is the perfect, you could build them in a lab, the ideal dream child for one of those second generation Cubans that came here hoping for a better life. He is an amalgamation of the American dream, a good religious Cuban boy, and it has gotten in their head so much that they root against their own children and their own town. That's some balls on your father. I got to tell you. And he overcame that lactose intolerance.

What about my mother? And I would say to you, Mike, and I say this as we build up Monday, a live watch party, because I can't even imagine the idea of hitting up Mike for tickets right now for what this ticket is. And we are doing while Mike is at the game, he's going to have to leave about. tomorrow in order to get to the maybe Saturday afternoon to get to the stadium but

he has been in a way that's been like the pandemic made us all crazy okay but the last five years Mike has poured his life into this school like into the things around this school he's he's got a an information business that is covering this week better than anyone else

is covering it this week what was like the tipping point where like okay I I want to I want to be this I will well I was really frustrated with how things were going and I'm a big believer in be the change that you seek. And I was complaining plenty and I guess just getting other people riled up about what was going on. But then I realized I needed to get in the game and I was afforded the opportunity to get

in the game. But I think like the real tipping point in terms of like anger and enough of this shit was probably the first couple of plays against Alabama and Atlanta because I was a believer. I was like Deerick King, all right, here we go, Manny Diaz and New Miami. And then I was watching warmups. I'm like, we're a joke. We're an absolute joke. And we had zero interest in competing in that game. It was just let's not get hurt. And that's not the Miami that we, I believed we were.

I thought we were turning the corner. And then I realized I got God again. This is the third consecutive coach that got me. I was there as he arrived in a yacht and was talking all this stuff. And I'm like, yeah, this is the energy that we need. And I was a believer. We weren't too far removed from the turnover change. And I was like, all right, here we go.

This is it. I loved Mark Rick, but he had the health stuff. This is a guy. And I got fooled. I was pissed off, and I had enough of it. I actually spoke to Manny Navarro about this. I wonder if you could have put that out. The health stuff, man, you just skipped over the best of the UM years in the last 20 years that were had here.

God bless Mark Rick. No, of course. Of course. A legitimate legend at the university of. of Miami, even though people I guess would say, well, no, not really, but he kept the program afloat during all of those times. That's your cares, man. No, and cares and used his own money and everything else.

But you just skip past the health stuff because you're going through the last 20 years of supporting this program is, when is Randy Shannon going to get out of here? We need him to lose games. Supporting this program, it's taken a lot to get to where Mario Cristobal was, and he went through FIU. and without the storytelling parts of this, which are kind of amazing, just the facts of the matter is,

the business of Miami run through this man over the last four years has increased in value every year after they made a $90 million commitment with a lot of money people were questioning because it was Life Wallet and John Ruiz. So overcoming all odds, this Cuban business has absolutely risen up

at the center of college football to get to the very top of the chain led by this man. Where am I not positive enough about this? this stuff, Mike. I try to explain it to you, buddy. It's okay. We'll help you. Do it like you view the Miami Heat. And I know you got relationships with people in that building and you deeply care. And there have been a whole bunch of regimes that have come in and out. And maybe you don't have the same kind of relationship with that heck building as you once did. But when it comes to the

Miami Heat, you want you to be Homer. You put on for your city. And you don't mind being called to Homer because you're like, you're goddamn right. I've had opportunities to leave this town. I am a proud Miami and when the rest of the world attacks this town, I am the guy. This entire sports fandom area rallies around. And when it comes to your own school, you are not that guy. And I'm very sorry about that, but you can turn it around. There is still time, Dan Lovettard. You're doing a watch party. We've got a couple of days here. It's fine that you bring in Gino Toretta and Edron James and you farm out the homerism and you form out the school pride. You need to tap into that guy that was ranting against Indiana. You need to tap into that guy that hates Boston. You need to

be that guy. You need to be that guy again for this town. Why would I hate- You have forgotten who you are. Why would I hate Indiana? You hated the Indiana Pacers plenty. Why would- They're not Miami. You hated the Indiana Pacers plenty. You did two rants at their expense. Where is that guy? You want me to hate the undefeated Indiana Hoosiers? Not just them. The entire state of Indiana. Led by the Heisman winning quarterback from Miami. Yes.

The Heistming. Be rationally. Want you to hate Miami's opponents. You know why? Because they're what's in front of us. That's right. You want me to call Mendoza a dork, not have David Dunn do it. That's right.

That what? This should be muscle memory for you. You should just treat Indiana like you treat me. There you go. Look at him. He's even wearing a shirt for you. Yeah, look that bullshit. But I like Indiana.

But you hate him? I don't hate him. Yeah, he hates him. It's too strong. Everybody hates him. Come on. That's his whole deal. That's what he brings to the table.

Dislike. Roy, thank you for being a voice of reason in these troubled times for turning down the temperature. Dislike we can have a better conversation around. Nobody here hates Jeremy. No, it does not rise. to hate with anyone here. I do. All right, kicking things off with Smyranoff,

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official rules at dkng.com slash live millions for entry period and free method of entry sponsored by crown gaming ink don lebertard florida claws back from down two o because they were getting their asses handed to them by toronto to then get lit a fire underneath them by their head coach paul maurice who did the thing remember how the run was sparked last year stuagats he called him a bunch of peas and bees he did the thing again called him a bunch of peas and bees and then boom five on eight answered, you win the division. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. I want to believe you if we lift number six.

I want to believe that it matters to you. And right now, it feels performative. Feels like you're going through the motions. Feels like you kind of hate it a little bit sometimes. Because you're worried about the comments section and what people may think of our show. You never cared about what people may think of our show when the other teams are in it. And yet for this team, for some reason, you do. Get me Dan Lebitard back, Jack.

Perhaps I don't think we want to keep staying on this couch, do we? Unless you think it's a therapy that you're revealing to me something I have not seen, which you are. No, no, I'm not trying to give you therapy. I'm giving you a little pep talk. I know you're that guy. You've always been that guy. Just be that guy again. You think I have it wrong that the country is watching this game and all they're rooting against.

is everything this show has been loud, proud, and obnoxious, wherever the worst and best of sports fandom resides? When has that ever affected you? That's the sweet spot. There are some people that are right along with us, and it's usually this community that support us, but you've lost this community around this team. Now you're just getting hate from all sides.

Put on for your city one more time. I don't think I have it in me. Uh-oh. I think it's too big an ass. What if I show you Tony from a costume shop? Oh, let me see. Let me see what we have there. Tony. There it is.

There it is. It's been there since what year, Tony? Basically since the Cuban exile, probably 1960-something. This has been here. So this has been the longest-standing costume shop on the planet as far as Miami's concerned. But I'm looking here and it's closed, Dan. Unfortunately, Etterbang, the owner who we had on Tony Tonight, who did incredible gags on Lewis, is out of the country. so we don't have the permission right now to go in plus they're closed but they said Monday he'll be back and we can go in on Monday Dan so is that something you want to you know farm out for Monday are you interested in

that that sounds good Zaz how about you uh yeah all right so before all right so where else are you going today because what I'd like to do now and I failed to do this before if you want to go back over to where we were I'd like to give you a chance to give us one football take headed into the NFL weekend because we're wearing out the audience with all our college talk think about what that is and I'd like for you to give it to us next while eating croquitas, okay? One after another, okay? Okay. Okay.

We could do that. I'm also going to go over to a Wayavera shop, which also has like some Cuban history in it. So we're planting the seeds around here on Coyote. I did want to go through, Dan, obviously you've been here, but other people haven't. So they're giving examples of kind of some of the things that they have. They've got a gypsy of some sort. They've got a pirata.

They've got Frankenstein. They've got King Kong. They got Dracula, Mortisha Adams. they've got some sort of night or something they have satanas so and if you turn around you know by that satanas

for Sean Miguel to do I don't know if you do Zaz they've got they've got Gloria Stephan I got Emilio Stefan a beautiful mural here of the Miami Sound Machine what what more do you want Dan look at this and the breeze is blowing

like we're next to a transmission shop somebody lives somebody lives right there that's somebody's house right there You know what? I don't want to do this, but I can throw a rock and hit that window over there. You won't be nice, but I could do it. That's how close there.

There's no need for that. In the name of it? No, no, no, no, no. You want me to do it? No, no, no, no. Okay. All right, I'll do it. No one wants you to do that.

No one is asking you to throw a lock and break a neighbor's. I heard. I don't think you'll do it. Yep. All right, Tony, please. I'm going to need you and your father's help to repair my image in these streets over the next three days. Please help me. I can't lose my ear.

By the way, I can't. I can't lose my city. I can't. I talk to my dad who's, I know, I know. I talked to my dad who's got a lot of, a lot of people at Columbus that he knows. He's very, very intertwined in the Columbus Circle. He said he didn't, they didn't appreciate a lot of the stuff that was happening. Pre, I've obviously made the inroads and calmed the waters a little bit,

but they didn't like where you were headed on the road you were headed on the last couple years. So it's going to take a little bit to do that, Dan. One trip over there is not going to help. We need a couple trips over there. I need your help. I need your help. Please go, please go, look at this and think of what that, one take is we've got to go talk to Tom Segura please. Thank you. We'll check back in with you. Andrew Santino is going to be on with us and then a little bit and David Sampson as well. This is going to continue to be a fun week. I've got issues with Santino though. Honest to God, I didn't tell you guys any of this. So this will be interesting to parse out with him. He's in breach of contract on Metal Arc Media because he was supposed to be the Chicago Bears correspondent all year and then a bunch of things came up and everything.

thing and there's like litigation. He blew it. Like, he blew it. He could have been Bears correspondent every week this season on the most amazing Bears season there's been. And so we're going to talk to him and see if we can hash that out in a little bit. But Tom Seguerra, he's a best-selling author. He's a comedian.

He's one of the guys, I think, that has helped change comedy podcasting. He's got a bunch of podcasts on his own network, your mom's house. He does that with his wife, two bears, one cave, with Krikscher and he's got a new Netflix, a Netflix special teacher. It is now streaming. I'll get to him and the streaming in a second, but you're a crazy college football fan, right? Tom, and thank you for joining us, by the way. Yeah, thank you for having me. I do. I love college football, man. I don't think you have to listen to your colleague's advice and become a homer. I don't think it's a good idea. Oh, you've been listening, so can you help me manage this, please, because I'm getting berated by my

community for not being Cuban enough. They're enough, okay? There's enough Cubans there, and they're they're supportive enough. They don't need you on board too. You can be a voice of reason. It's fine. But no reason. This is not a time of reason. College football has no use for reason. Listen, man. Look, first of all, this is the Indiana story. If you like college football, we have basically never seen anything like this. This is crazy that they're even here. It's insane. If you watch college football for the last 30 years, Indiana is a team you see on the schedule and you're like, oh, cool, we're going to beat the shit out of them. They're going to win maybe two games this The fact that they've even put this together is bananas.

I started to watch games like halfway through the season because I was like, there's no way they're actually good. They're good, man. They're really good. It's amazing. I cannot believe I'm seeing Indiana play in the national championship game. It's bananas. This is perfect because for years, Dan's actually been yearning for the acceptance of comedians

way more than the local community. Dude, you got enough local support. Do you need more local support, really? Yes. Why? Because Dan, for whatever reason, when it comes to this program, a team that represents the town more than any other team, decides to play it cool, decides to give equal time, makes sure that the haters are heard. That's not the case when it was a Miami Heat. That's not the case even when it came to Florida Panthers hockey. And Dan doesn't even know what the puck is made out of. he doesn't he doesn't need to actually do any more for the Cains, bro.

Like if you're, aren't you an alum? There you go. There you go. You got Tom Seguera on your side. It's not pronounced Seguula. It's Seguera. No, it's Tom Seura. No me chas. But listen, man,

I think what we're looking for more than anything in this thing is that, you know, I have tons of Miami friends. I have tons of friends that were players. and they're all every year, they're like, Keynes are back, man, Keynes are back. And you're like, oh, okay. Look, they're kind of back. They're in the national championship game. So it's

exciting if you're in Miami. If you're a fan, if you're in that studio, I'm sure you're thrilled. And you should be because you actually, after all these years, put together a team that couldn't play in the ACC championship game, but they're in the national championship game. And that's incredible. I think you should be thrilled about it. But I think if you're a college football fan, this is the craziest Cinderella story we've ever seen. Indiana is not supposed to be in the national championship game in football. This is the craziest thing I've seen. So explain to me.

I'm missing a portion of this. When I see Rich Eisen doing a segment where he's saying that Miami, or I didn't hear the segment, but I just saw that what was clipped was Miami is America's team. That can't possibly be so, right? What the hell? Rich Eisen's on drugs? That's crazy.

No, that's Miami. It's all of India. The country is rude. All of the country that cares about college football is rooting for Indiana, correct? They are 100% doing that, 100%. Yes. Nobody outside of Miami wishes for Miami to win this game. They all want the story to end with,

can you believe Indiana just had the most unbelievable upset season of all time? No one ever saw Indiana coming. I think that's a totally reasonable thing to say. Yeah. I think that most people hate you guys. Most people hate you. Yes. Yeah.

No, and I think if you're a Miami guy, you embrace that. You embrace the fact that people hate you. Typically. Because Miami swag you. You're like, we did it first. It's who you are. And I think Miami best shot, I'm talking about as a team, is embracing the fact that it's them against the world, that the country does want to see them lose. The country always wants to see Miami lose.

Tom, you're helping my end game. more than you would ever know. This is catnip for Dan Lebitard. Wait a second. The entire world is against Miami? How did I not know this? Yeah, for sure, dude. It's not even close. Why is that, Tom? Why is the entire world against Miami? Oh, boy. I can think of a couple of reasons. Me too. That's all you guys got? It's probably a safe way. No, I mean, look, there's, no, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, no, there's, there's, there's a couple ways to look at it. There's going to be the thing that people say, which is they're like, Indiana's never been there. This is a basketball school.

They got it done without getting five-star and four-star kids. You know, it is the Cinderella. All they've done is lose, man. I don't have to tell you that, right? You know that all they've done is lose in football. If you were an Indiana alum and you wanted tickets to the basketball games, they made you buy tickets to the football games. you had to they made you buy tickets to the football games and the and you go I don't want these and they're like yeah I know but you're buying these if you want to go to the basketball game I mean the other level of it is the one that

we all know which is that I think a lot of people are just like oh Miami with the gold chains and loud dreads and all that shit like yeah it's they're racist do you not know that a lot of America's racist? Yeah, but that was 30 years ago. No, no, no. I know it felt like racism went away, but it's having a huge comeback, Dan. It's bad. I don't know if you've seen the news this week, but there's a lot of white people that are still hanging on to like, oh, just enter our country the right way. And you should get shot if you don't. So those people are the types of people that I think definitely want to see. They associate that with Miami. It's layered, man, and it might be nuanced, but I don't think it's untrue. Tom, you got to spend a little bit of time

with the Miami Hurricanes mascot Michael Irvin over Christmas, didn't you? He is the best. I love this guy, dude. I love this. I'm not. I love this guy. And I told him straight to his face that I'm not a Keynes fan, but I would I would go anywhere with Michael Irvin. He is the most fun. I was like, what are you on? And he was like, let's not talk about it. And then what is it about you? He's just like, I'm built different. The enthusiasm that guy has, I mean, he would be the person I put the forefront. If I was building a team, I would honestly, like, you get prime age of everyone. Michael Irvin is definitely on that team. He's, He's incredible.

Well, it is a testament. It really is a testament to his connection to the program and to entertainment that Miami is the only team in the history of college football that has as its mascot, an NFL Hall of Famer, like as its mascot, an NFL Hall of Famer. Yeah. I mean, it's so crazy that they were able to work that out. But it's not an act from this guy. It's so genuine.

That's the thing. It's so enthusiastic. I don't know. There's points where I'm like, I think he's going to run on the field. Like I don't think he has any no in him. There's just like it's all energy 24-7. He's like that at 6 in the morning. It never ends.

No idea how he finds the energy. Really don't. There's ways. You, your love of Michael Irvin in football and netflop. put you together in a situation? You guys have had a number of interesting opportunities present themselves. How are you selecting the ones you select, and what is it that you are trying to do with the Netflix opportunity?

I've had a great relationship with Netflix for, I guess, 12, 13 years now. I'm in prep right now for season two of my series Bad Thoughts, which we start shooting next week. It's just something that I really wanted to do. I took it to them first, and they said yes. And they've been great to me on stand-up. They've put six specials out. So I'm super lucky that I've been able to do that.

And for me, I just go with like, this is the thing that I've dreamt of doing. They've literally made many dreams come true. And so I'm just very lucky that it's worked out that way. I'm just super thankful that I get to work with them. So what are the situations you found yourself in, though? I saw you told at some point an endomic ensue story, but you found yourself in what strange positions is someone who never really expected to arrive in a place where you'd actually be jostling among like some athletic heroes that, you know, want to party with you?

I mean, look, I've sat next to Mike Tyson at a fight and that's pretty crazy. The whole thing feels surreal, man. I mean, I just wanted to be able to sell some, you know, tickets at a club when I was starting doing stand-up. I never, you never dream like, I'm going to do stand-up where they play NBA games. Like, that's not on your vision board, you know? you just kind of, you do your shows, they put it out, and then people either, you know, like it or they don't. And it turns out it's both. But you don't really get to pick that thing. I mean, yeah, I've found myself hanging out with people that I never thought it would be a possible thing. Like Tyson was

obviously one who I've run into now several times. I still think it's crazy whenever I run into him and that he remembers me. I think, I remember I was having, dinner with like Joe Burrow and um and uh Nick Bosa and and uh um John Feliciano Hurricane. I asked him. That's not fair. He asked me. No, you don't get to.

You don't get to do that. I asked him. I asked him. You're a fucking bum. It was Chris. I asked him. I asked him. He might be a bum.

He's literally. He's literally fishing for me to do this, you piece of shit. So I'm hanging out with these dudes at dinner. and they're telling NFL injury stories. I remember, like if we were talking about, you and me were talking about injuries, you know, we would talk about, if you were telling one, I would be like,

oh, this would happen to me. And I realized that in the middle of them talking about NFL injury stories, my brain just was like, oh, I remember when I got injured. And I was thinking about a high school football injury, and I started telling it. And my brain was like, I think you just, you're about to get lit up by these guys.

You're talking about high school football and they play in the NFL. And I could just feel it. They were like, I saw their forks kind of go down. And I was like, ah, shit, just take whatever they say. And they were like, oh, yeah, you hurt your tailbone? And I was like, yeah, man, I was doing, I was doing punt coverage. And they were like, uh-huh. And they're like, how'd you get injured?

Were you, like, falling down the stairs? And I was like, okay, I'll just. Nobody asked a follow-up question. Tom, Tom, they didn't let you drown in that shit. That seems like such spectacularly bad judgment to try and get in on the story with your war story. And to have those three guys look over. How do you not realize three seconds in? Oh, what a terrible mistake I've made.

I did. It was humiliating. And I knew I had made a terrible mistake. I knew I had made a terrible mistake. But my brain was like, just try to keep going and maybe they'll gloss over it. Maybe they'll miss it. I was just trying to escape the room. And then I just took the beating.

They just roasted me for the next hour. It was pretty. It was a humbling experience, man. Don Lebertard. Who is the comedian? Is it James Mulvaney? How do you pronounce his? John Malaney?

There you go. Thank you. John Malaney. Two dollars. Yeah, that's a bad fine. Wow. Everybody started shaking their head. I mean, he's arguably the most.

popular comedian right now. James Mulvaney. Put it on the poll, Guillermo. John Mulvaney, the most popular columnist at Levitart show. Oh my God. Comedian, Dan. Jesus, get it together. Excuse me.

Comedian, my bad. This is the Don LeBatar show with a Stugat. Tom, you can stop me at any point. You may want to stop me already. I've been going down. I read the book on the Garth Brooks thing. I know you're probably annoyed with people asking you about it. I don't want to ask you about any of that stuff and your opinions on it.

There is a part of the book that alleges that Garth Brooks has a video of you actually sustaining an injury. A horrible injury. Yeah, a horrible injury showing people this video and saying that it was karma. I learned this firsthand from somebody who is directly related to one of his high-level employees. And so the person that I spoke, I'm trying to like not give out too much of their information. The person that I spoke to was like, yo, yeah, I've met him, weird guy. My relative works with him. And I said, does he know about these rumors?

And he goes, yeah, of course he knows. And he doesn't get it. And then they asked him, they're like, do you hate Tom? And the person that works for Garth said, Garth doesn't hate anybody. And I was like, that's such a creepy thing. say and then and then he said that he sometimes looks at the video of me tearing my pateller tendon and breaking my arm and goes karma karma right here so yeah that's how he responds to being you know the internet has completely ruined his social media right like it's

comments are off on like everything he used to like first you turned him off on instagram then it turned off on facebook and like those are big obviously platforms for him that Because just everyone's asking him where bodies are buried and if they can have their grandmother back. And so they just, it's completely over for him on social media. This is a, I guess it's a complicated question, but you guys have all run into a giant fame sort of fast that I think probably you didn't quite expect in some ways and you teamed up with Birk Kreischer on something. And he is vulnerable in ways and fragile in ways that the internet's going to eat up,

especially if he's reading comment sections about himself. Like, as you've gone through the last five years of slalom course in a changing America, what has all that felt like as some of the guys in the Rogan's Fears are being accused of, you know, tilting the political election? Yeah, I mean, the social media thing is a very precarious thing to navigate. And I think you realize that, like, if you are, if you get great exposure, sometimes, you know, you just get, you get showered with positive things. And when it shifts to all to like negative or very negative, what you realize is you really shouldn't be digesting either

side of it too much. I don't, I don't let it really, I've been doing this now, stand up 25 years. And you learn like how to deal with like people talking shit to you and accusing you of things or calling you names. And at first, it's really, really shocking. Like when I remember when it first happens, it feels so personal. But the longer you do it and you realize you have all this exposure, the more I think of it as like, this is just something you deal with. Sometimes I look at like an extreme case and I try to tell when I'm telling like another comic about it who is themselves shocked about it. I'm like, look, why don't you just like do a search for like what Taylor Swift gets? Do you think that like she's sitting there

making sure like, yeah, she gets a lot of praise and then she gets a lot of criticism because she's a superstar. So your stardom has begun. This is just part of how it goes. Now, as far as the political thing, I know that some of those guys are really into that. Thankfully, I'm not. I do not participate in that. I mean, I've been pretty, I wouldn't say I'm a very outspoken person about political things, but I've definitely never been a supporter of anybody in this administration. And I think I've made that pretty clear. Can you explain to me the perils before we talk about teacher, your new Netflix special, the perils of doing a podcast with a Peruvian relative.

Forgive me, I am a bit ignorant about the concept of the podcast. Oh, well, my mother is Peruvian. So she's a hundred, I'm half Peruvian. So we gave my mom her own podcast. And she is a crazy Latin mother, as they all are. And she's the most difficult human being I've ever met my entire life. And so I decided to share her with the world and gave her a muchacaro, her own podcast in which she can be crazy with my own staff. But she's, yeah, she's a lot, man.

You know, you have a mom, right? Yes, I've got a Latin mom, but I've had one all my life. So, I, you, yeah, so how, how does that go? Like, how does the podcast end up going where she's being, your unleashing to the world, Hispanic fire? Well, we're, yeah, I mean, so we used to have my mom as a guest on, on YMH, and she would come in, and the whole game would be just a horror fire. It's still my favorite thing to do, you know, when I was a kid, I would just

belch at the table or say awful things just to get this rise out of her because it was fun. It's still fun to see her get upset. That's been a thing we've done for years. But she is, to her credit, I have to say, this woman is naturally funny. She's a natural storyteller. She is funny. She is an exaggerator. She's dramatic.

She's a Latin, you know? So she is who she is. And so we gave her own show where my production staff, the fantastic staff at Wyoming, they just do this show with her now where she they they fill her up with like pop culture news here's slang what's your take on this crazy story about you know someone selling their own breast milk whatever crazy things happening and you just get to see chado react and that's been the the show and fans seem to love it so you know i'm glad somebody's having a good time with her the new netflix special is called teacher it is now streaming you'll forgive me for doing this

but Tony is calling in urgently from back at, yes, okay, no, has he moved the party somewhere else? That looks different. Tony was running around Miami because we got a big game coming up. He wanted to play Refron del Dia with you. Are you ready to chew up some Latin phrases here before you leave? Yeah, I'd love to. Dima diogenes.

We are here live at La Colala Gourmet, still down on Caya Ocho. Tom, a big fan of yours, buddy. I'm excited to play this game with you. So the game we're playing is. called Refrande Dia. I give a Spanish phrase and then... Yeah, and then you have to translate it into English. So I'm going to give you the Spanish phrase.

You're going to translate it into English literally. And then we decide what it means and let the people know who don't speak Spanish, how we use that and where it comes from. You ready to play? Okay, let's try. All right. Let's do it. Chris, in the wheel.

Okay, this is one that we've never had before. This is an exciting one. It's a little bit more nuanced. Okay. Okay. Uh-oh. So here's, here it is. You want to start with, you want to start with, you want to start with nuance as opposed to easy.

You want to go nuanced. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Because we've given all the easy ones, right? And Tom is, it's a man of dignity, a man of class, a man who understands Spanish. He does the damn podcast in Spanish for God's sake. So he knows what the deal is. So here it is.

Today's Refund de Dia is, mas save el diablo for viejo than for diablo. So the devil knows more The devil? For be it? For a year? Yeah, that's The devil knows more

for being old than for being the devil. Exactly right. Nailed it. And then the Is this a Cuban expression? What the hell does this mean? This, I'm glad you asked,

which is why it requires nuance. So, It's not that he's the prince of darkness and knows all. He knows all because he's been around longer. And that's a phrase that's said to somebody who's older of age, who's been around the block, who's seen things. You say, ma's saviablo for biago, so somebody who's such an old lady phrase. It's an old lady phrase that she says when she sees you getting into like bad things, like you're going down the wrong path. And she's telling you.

That's what I feel. Tony, go eat croquetas, Tony. Tony, I can't believe that that's what you chose to use with him. Thank you. Okay, I can do another one. I can do it. Fade him down. No, thank you. Just spectacularly bad judgment.

And I knew it as soon as you started talking. It's rare this happens. He never good when he says nuance. Wait, what did you say? He just learned what nuance means two weeks ago. I just can't believe what he tried to do with you there. Really? No, yes, I'm stuck.

Isn't that the game? I thought I'm, no, but it's supposed to be a little easier than what it's supposed to be a little easier than what it is we just made it for you. Wait, how is it complicated? What do you mean? What's the complicate? You said easier. Easier. How?

That the expression that he used, uh, uh, I didn't understand what he was talking about even as someone who knows the expression. Oh. He's, I love that he's, he's, he's exactly. Brated. No, it's that Dan doesn't speak Spanish. So he hears a phrase that he's never heard in his life and says it's a bad phrase. Dan has no idea what he's talking about. That's why Miami doesn't like him.

Like what is he attacking me for? Are you kidding? I like this. Tom came out and knew it exactly was in two seconds. I gave the context for it, Dan. You are such a bad gauge. You have such a bad gauge and so does Mike Ryan. Got, I repentio, but go no, my mother.

Like, please. She's dead. Please. That's a phrase. That's a phrase. Thanks, Tom. It doesn't mean exactly yours. Hey, man.

She died. You knew that. Me cago your mother, Dan. Me cago, me cacao your leche. Oh, yeah, muchisina, thanks. Grazie, Tom. No we'll go. To see you.

We're going to talk about that mom line, Tony. Happy New Year, everybody. 2026 is already getting off to an incredible start because you want to know how I rang in the new year? It was with a bunch of friends in a Dallas Hotel Lobby Bar, ordering a bunch of Miller Lights. Because that's how you do it. That's how you make special memories.

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