The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Gardner Minshew Promised Land

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

Dan finally gets to his comments to the feedback from his LeBron vs. MJ (as businessmen) take, but more importantly: Does Seth Rogen look like he just stepped out of the 70s? Then, Mike is fed up with Aaron Rodgers and Davante Adams constantly longing to play with each other. Plus, the feeling of your phone starting to work after it lost connection to the internet, Chris Cote is a top tier Waze driver, and Billy gives Chris advice on how to get selected for a jury while Billy tries to avoid it altogether. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance. Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash ymx. Benefits vary by card other conditions apply. Welcome to the big suey presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

I just want to read some of the commentary because I think it's interesting. I would imagine that the audience that follows everything that's happening in sports takery would find it interesting. But Nick Wright came on our show, and if you're watching what's happening in sports takery would find it interesting. But Nick Wright came on our show, and if you're watching what's happening at Fox as Skip Bayless leaves and Colin Cowherd builds an empire,

Nick Wright is in position to be Fox's big sports star. And one of the ways that he got into that position is by taking a hair splitting take of LeBron is better than Michael Jordan. To me, it's lowest common denominator, idiotic and also brilliant because it's just an easy way to manipulate sports fans on a passion that they have that is crazed and unreasonable. So what I underestimated yesterday when I said I believe that LeBron James in retirement will eclipse what Michael Jordan has done in

retirement. A whole lot of people reacted very hostily to that. I'm just gonna read some of the commentary. Can he ever be taken seriously again? That's meaning me. Typical casuals trying to disrespect the undisputed goat. We don't care, buddy, hit the gym. You look like you just ate a bunch of vanilla ice cream. I think Dan is mistakenly arguing on bigger when it's really just different. I don't, it's not that I don't like vanilla,

it's that I like more flavors. I was gonna say. Oh. Well, vanilla is kind of like a vessel, like if you really like toppings, you go vanilla, because you know what to expect there. You don't wanna take away from the toppings. Yeah, sprinkles.

LeBron is a big deal, but this is a blind spot for Dan as he continues to be obsessed with new media. He'll never be as big as Jordan, never. Kobe was bigger than LeBron is a big deal, but this is a blind spot for Dan as he continues to be obsessed with new media He'll never be as big as Jordan never Kobe was bigger than LeBron before his death and still is post-death LeBron is the third most well-known NBA NBA player of all time, and that's fine Stop drinking before the show PS you lost your personality with the weight loss That happens sometimes. That happens to sometimes define people. I mean, I'd take it as a compliment,

and say you lost some weight. Right, but Jonah Hill's not doing really funny roles anymore. So let me read it. Why does Seth Rogen look crazy? I haven't seen him in a minute. Oh my God, he looks like he came out of a time machine from 1970, the way that he dresses.

Now he just sells ashtrays. What? He started a whole company where he like molds ashtrays and stuff Yeah, a whole perfect for he apparently likes weed all right Rogan we'll get back to that back his ashtrays have little joint holders in them put on the pole Please juju does Seth Rogan look like he stepped out of the 1970s. Yes, he's one of the most famous weed smokers. He has said publicly among other things, why would he have kids when he can be on a Saturday morning smoking weed in bed with his wife? He makes a lot of pottery and other things.

He seems to be a real docile pothead. As unlikeable as you'll hear Seth Rogen, him talking about his kids thing, he's very condescending of like, yeah, me and my wife, we look at each other every day. We're like, we don't have kids. Oh, this is great. Makes a lot of pottery.

Very condescending. I love Seth Rogen, but when I saw that clip about the kids, I was just like, meh. ["The Last Post," by The Caps plays.] Because you have kids and he's judging you by saying- It was the condescension. He thinks his life is better than yours. He knew he was right.

Like, look how happy I am. It's like you haven't seen how happy I am when my daughter walks in the room, okay? But, jerk. Wow. I love you, Seth Rogen. I'm sorry. I just didn't like that.

Wow. You don't know what it feels like. I mean, I know what it feels like not to have kids, huh? You don't know what it feels like too. Jerk. All right then. Billy? I don't know why it feels like too. Jerk. All right then. Billy? I don't know why I keep throwing jerks in there.

I don't know why you do either. I think maybe I saw a picture of him in a costume. In the 70s? Possibly. He was on like Kimmel or something. I thought he just dressed that way, but maybe he was dressed up. I get the IG ads for the pottery,

which does amplify the pun quite a bit that Jeremy made, and he looked fine. Did you know that Cheech sells gummies? Yeah, I know because I keep asking X to stop showing me the ads. Oh my God, X is insisting. Dude, it's unrelenting, the Cheech and Chong gummy ads. That's crazy.

Put it on the poll please, Juju. Are the Cheech and Chong gummy ads unrelenting? The clarification I wanna make on what it is that I was talking about. It's chocolate ice cream. Pistachio, because many of you are writing in, pointing out correctly how much money Michael Jordan makes selling Nike

and being a part of the Jordan brand. This has always been fascinating to me. Ever since like being in a room with Jim Brown and having him say that Muhammad Ali didn't go from America's most hated athlete to its most loved until he lost his ability to speak, and then derisively went after Michael Jordan for not standing for anything and the famous quote attached to Michael Jordan which

is the reason that I don't take public stances is because Republicans buy shoes too. I understand how you would arrive at the opinion well LeBron will never make the money Michael Jordan has made in sneakers. And you'd be right, he's not likely to have a business that makes as much money as sneakers. Michael told you what his plan was. Republicans buy shoes too. LeBron wants a media company. LeBron wants to own teams, plural. LeBron builds schools. LeBron wants to take five percent of every NBA player's contract because he wants to be representing every single NBA player. LeBron is going to get a better ending than Michael got. At the end, Michael's ending was, you're just an

employee. Get out of the Washington building. We've used you up for everything you got left. Long after Michael retired, LeBron is getting the coach hired and getting his son $8 million so they can move around the salary cap and just get a little more. I just think he's going to get everything that he wants and that he's got bigger ambitions than just being a basketball head at the end of his career and I think the next 20 years of LeBron are going to be super interesting what he can do with that money. You might disagree and tell me

he'll never make as much money as Michael Jordan and you might be right about that but he's gonna do more of what it is that he wants, which is vastly different than what Michael Jordan wanted from the end of his career. It's gonna have his fingerprints and a whole lot of stuff because of what he did with the ending of the managing of his career. Michael Jordan got used by Abe Poland in Washington.

It's probably the last time the Wizards were that kind of relevant, got used and squeezed the last little bit. LeBron spent all that time making the Hollywood relationships that he needs to so that he can have real power post-retirement. Michael made most of his money because of the equity stake that he had in Nike

because he essentially saved Nike and Jordan is this massive brand. But he also, during his playing career only made 94 million, and it's because of those sacrifices and Michael Jordan saving the league when it was in desperate need of stars that LeBron was able to make these career earnings.

But now, because of guys like LeBron, Coles-White may actually, if he ever does catch on, have an opportunity. I think Tyler Johnson made more money than Michael Jordan made in his career, you know? Tyler Johnson signed for like $50 million and I'm pretty sure that what I'm about to say is right, that Michael wasn't a billionaire during his playing days.

LeBron is. And if you're following the paths of how that stuff gets changed it might well be that it's just different and not bigger and I know that many of you because of the tack that Michael Jordan took many of you hate LeBron in a way that very few people hate Michael Jordan and that's part of the marketing genius that there are no haters pre-internet to Michael Jordan that's part of what it is that makes him vastly less polarizing than LeBron but I can't help but be awed at being able to figure out in your 30s let me get my friend over here to get a percentage of all of the other players

in the NBA and beyond, entertainment, who we can represent so that the money that I changed in this sport of everyone's getting, quickly is getting $175 million. Give me three to 5% of that, I represent you as clutch management. Like that's just unbelievable, the amount of money he's going to be able to recreate. He's going to be able to treat

the NBA the way that Michael treated Nike. No, I've got a percentage of this. I own a team, I represent players, I've got the power in the relationships to broker silver and Hollywood. Adam Silver, silver and gold. Correct me if I'm wrong, but he would probably have to divest from the agency if he owns a team. You can't have an NBA team owning an agency. Well, he doesn't own the agency. Yeah, that's true.

This is why I'm amazed by the whole thing. Little shady. But this is why, it's happening right now. The little shady is happening right now. When you can bring Anthony Davis aboard and have a percentage of what Anthony Davis is making, it's just taking a loophole that no one else has known to take.

But he can't if he doesn't actually own clutch management. I understand, but if your best friend owns something, don't you also own it if you made your best friend? I think it just means you could use the bathrooms. This happened actually. You guys remember, what was the name of this guy? Billy, you might remember. When Wayne Heisengo, when there was a rule that you can only own two sports teams in

South Florida and he wanted a third one. When there was a rule that you can only own two professional sports teams in sports, but he wanted to build Disney World around what was Joe Robbie Stadium. He tried to like put the team in his brother's name or something. Brother-in-law what was that guy's name was it wits it was wit something it was just a total obvious masquerade yes he tried to move all of that money into the name of his brother-in-law wit, wit Hudson? Harris wit Hudson. Yeah isn't that what clutch management is? Like I really don't know, I don't know the-

He's not listed, so like the take where he's taking a percentage of it, I mean these are long espoused NBA conspiracy theories because everyone on the board has some sort of tie to LeBron James but he doesn't actually own it. Okay, so what do you think's happening there? Well, I think it's suspicious too, but he can go ahead and own an NBA team and easily say and refute.

I'm not getting anything off of these contracts. My friends are, and I am so happy for them. You are hearing from me suspicion. It's not suspicion. Well could I heard from you certainty I am I am certain that this is another economic source that exists in and around LeBron James that he can and will at some point profit of off of whether it's financially because he's got all of the options in the world, whether it's financially or my friends will just benefit from this, because again, he will get everything he wants post retirement because of how he set this up over the last five years. The last five years haven't actually been about winning a championship. That he got one in there? Great for him.

To IST. Forgiveness. Forgot about that one. Forgiveness, forgot about that one. Forgot about the end season tournament. Put up two banners. What's the dollar amount where you go from being Harry Wayne Huizinga to H. Wayne Huizinga? Because I'm sure growing up he wasn't H. Wayne Huizinga. His friends probably called him Harry, right?

What is Witt Hudson's name? Was that also? It's also Harry. So do we even know if that person existed? It's Harris. So his was also, was it, so they were both HW something, HW Rich person? They both were that?

H. Wayne, Heisenga? That is bizarre, because they weren't related. It's not, it's not. They were in-laws, right? It's not bizarre, it's all a construct that Heisenga was using poorly He got denied because he was clearly trying to buy a team with his brother

I can't log in to Sun Sentinel But the only line that I'm getting is Harris Witt Hudson sure had a good taste in high school girlfriends What that's Wayne High's Angus sister Imagine baseball with like a Julio Franco stance though bring Bring that thing back. Baseball had a Julio Franco stance. No, bring it back though. Julio Franco. We need crazy stances. There's no crazy stances anymore.

Is it just because we're not paying attention or they stopped existing? Who's got the craziest stance? Who won? Stu Gatz here from my friends over at Simply Safe. Imagine a burglary at your home. If you're picturing a shady character sneaking about under the cloak of night,

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Don LeBattard. That was a long story. Yeah. It's the only kind he tells. It's a short one for me. I tried to speed it up for you guys. You forgot about the league's cup. Stugats. Yeah. That's the only kind he tells. Here's my short one for me. I tried to speed it up for you guys. You forgot about the league's cup.

Stugats! Yeah. La Carreta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the 97 Marlins celebration because it was Levante and... Well, when Fidel died the first time. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats! Many of you are writing in now because you can be vultures, you can be buzzards about any time anyone around here says anything that can be objected to you

swoop in and you grab them so a lot of you are writing in what all the rules are for owning multiple teams. LeBron already has an interest in Fenway sports, own the Red Sox, the Penguins involved in racing. And I will just tell you if you've been watching what Magic Johnson has done post-retirement, Magic Johnson has gotten into now baseball and football ownership, at least in part, because when these rich guys all get together, all they look around and see is other rich white guys, and they need somebody with a name and a lot of money. And so Magic Johnson is largely, often, the only one most available to put a smile on this is a bunch of white guys

Walking into a room and LeBron's about to enter into that territory as well where he could do some of that also on the buzzard front Mike Ryan has been arguing with me since I got back about an assortment of different things and today for some reason It was Devante Adams which used to be a source of unity for me and Mike Ryan we both argued very vehemently that he wasn't a number one receiver yeah it was a terrible take one of the worst in our defense when we had that take he was very bad but he got really good after that.

You're tired of Devontae Adams. Oh dude, enough with Devontae Adams and Aaron Rodgers. Like, Oh, they're like two star cross lovers that can never be together except they chose to be apart. Ever since Devontae Adams got to Vegas, it would appear that he's only been plotting some sort of return with Aaron Rodgers, be it back at the Raiders or with the Jets. And there's just open frustration that from both sides that they haven't been able to get it done. Who can we blame for this? Who? Devante, you had an opportunity. You had a choice. You got a really good offer from Green Bay. You took the bigger offer because it

was quote your dream to play for the Raiders and since you got there you were openly into Wired for Sound microphones subverting the Raiders at every turn and now back in the news cycle I want to play with Aaron Rodgers again enough with this you guys had the choice you both made the choice that you wanted to move on maybe the Packers made their choice after it became untenable but there was a path to staying together and they're gonna

force their way into this Devontae Adams will almost assuredly if they can make the cap situation work find his way on the New York Jets this season It's only a matter of time I'm done hearing about it because it's been three years where they're openly campaign for this the part that I disagree with you on And the part that I would like to explore Conversationally is the choices we make when we make them what we think we're choosing versus what ends up happening

because I don't believe, and this one's always tricky with athletes because of how confident they have to be to survive that ecosystem. But I always believe that the most confident of athletes believe that they are the reason for their success. So if Devonte Adams believes that, then he believes he made Aaron Rodgers at least partially as good as Aaron Rodgers was, and he feels like he can take that with him. Now you

learn pretty quickly that's not the case. Hell, Randy Moss learned it himself in Oakland. Like he, Randy Moss could do it with anybody. Dante Culpepper. Yeah, didn't he do it a little bit with Randall Cunningham? He'd... Randy... Yeah, he would make, Randy Moss would make anybody that stepped into that Vikings offense prolific. Okay, so this is the part though where I can get entangled. So you've got two positions of extreme confidence the quarterback who's going to rightly feel like he's responsible for everything and the diva glamour position that sport that comes closest to star power to the

quarterback which is the wide receiver who's now being paid as if he's almost worth as much as the quarterback cuz justin jefferson and cd lam are not human beings that can be guarded they can't be covered davante adams probably goes to oakland thinking like randy moss didn't going to oakland i'm going to do all of this again

and then it becomes all garoppolo it's not what i thought it was. And it got me to thinking about the choice that broke apart Lebron and Kyrie, which I'm assuming Kyrie regretted or learned what it is that he had only because he didn't have it anymore. And so I'm guessing that Devonte Adams, when he was with Aaron Rodgers, however it is that people do the math on who's responsible for success on things i'm guessing that the bond a m specifically at that position where you

and i are doubting that does not that good i can't drop the ball an awful lot he's saying no look at me i'm a number one receiver look at i made a rodgers and mvp and now i got my money in oakland and i do believe that a lot of times i'm sorry yeah i'll keep yet Look at, I made Aaron Rodgers an MVP. And now I got my money in Oakland, and I do believe that a lot of times, I'm sorry, yeah, well, same sort of thing

with him and Randy Moss, but thank you. I'm assuming that he didn't realize the choice that he made, because you keep doing this thing, well, he chose the money. Well, he also chose another quarterback that he had an affinity for, that he had a relationship with in college and Derek Carr. And he just figured I can recreate that magic.

And once it became clear that he made a bad decision and then once Derek and that interpersonal relationship moved on to another place, he took every opportunity to be really upset with a quarterback production openly and a source of frustration inside that locker room doing all the things that a superstar should do publicly to try to force his way out. Apparently it was close last year with him forcing his way onto the New York Jets and it probably would have happened if Aaron wasn't hurt. This is what he wants which is it's a

little exhausting like you had the opportunity to stay together. You really did. You just didn't want to. And I understand how you get there. And I understand the ego of athletes and all that. That's all fine. And Dandy, he can recognize he made a mistake and not do this thing publicly that is exhausting and just a terrible look for everybody. I would rather the NFL just make a waiver

and make this thing happen already than to hear about it for yet another NFL season. He got 10 games of Aiden O'Connell last year. That will make you miss Aaron Rodgers. Wasn't he productive with O'Connell though? He's been good through all this. That's interesting about it. He just hasn't been like relevant in ways

that Aaron made him relevant. Still good at fantasy. Still good consistently week to week as good. Consistent in being able to count on this quarterback will force feed me. Keep in mind, a lot of things about the Packers maybe opened up with Aaron not force feeding the ball to Devontae Adams every play.

And Packers are doing best out of anybody in that equation. They are doing great right now. They are a sneaky pick to win the conference. Everyone I have talked to is floored by how good Jordan Love is and is going to be. And the wide receiver core too has come online. You kind of look back on it. Maybe they should have made this move a year earlier.

That last season that Derek Carr played with Devontae Adams, Adams actually had a career high in targets and had 14 touchdowns, which is the second most he's ever had. But last year playing with O'Connell, after Derek Carr now is no longer the quarterback that he initially went there for, all those issues of still wanting to play with Aaron Rodgers understandably kind of come back to the surface

because when you're getting 180 targets in a season, it's tough to complain. I'm genuinely confused as to what Jordan Love will be used as a case study for because you could use him as an argument for, see, that's why you sit a guy. This is the Carson Palmer, John Kitna thing. This is the Aaron Rodgers thing.

That's exactly why you sit a guy. But I'm also looking at it as like, no, this guy clearly needed to play, because early on, he stunk. We were wondering if that was a terrible decision, and we were openly spitting into microphones, how could you betray Aaron this way? You need to give him weapons.

I think he needed to play more. Okay, and very easy to say from this position, you would have been benching an MVP. Like you can't bench an MVP quarterback in order to play Jordan Love. No, I still maintain like the Packers in that moment. Well, he was MVP in 2021, I think. Aaron Rodgers, like that's a championship window.

And yes, you're set up now to compete for championships later on. You owe it to that guy in that title window to give him something to help him win. And they didn't do it. You have heard me for, I think probably 10 years, quote Chris B, because I thought it was hugely insightful.

Chris Bosch, who was unusually sensitive, vulnerable, communicative, and just really good at introspection, said after being here for a while, you do not know what the sacrifices feel like that you're making until you're actually making them. A-Rod did not choose the money to be in last place. He chose the money and thought he was gonna go make a last place team great. Devontae Adams didn't choose to leave Aaron Rodgers because he thought he was choosing losing over money. He thought he going to take the winning with him and to me you get ten games of Aiden O'Connell and you're like okay blackjack dealer I'm good I'm good get me out of here we're not going to compete for a championship get me to someplace that felt like I used to feel

when I got all the targets all the catches and I was relevant what's interesting is like he doesn't have a terrible situation right now in Las Vegas. I mean I understand your longing for Aaron Rodgers. We have a load of questions. It's now been a while since we've seen Aaron Rodgers be that guy that force fed you the ball and made you great. Las Vegas isn't that much worse of a situation than New York because I don't have the same kind of questions for them. They were really feisty at the end of the year.

They have a new head coach over there that they very clearly love, and he's got a quarterback in Gardner Minchu that's gonna air it out. If you could listen to me, Devante, maybe try to embrace it. This isn't all that bad. Two great quarterbacks.

Good depth. Minchu will take your team to the promised land. Well isn't all that bad. Two great quarterbacks. Good depth. Minx will take your team to the promised land. Well, not the promised land. He'll take you three steps from a promised land. Their promised land is like, hey, let's be at the wild card. Let's be feisty. Minx who is fully capable of taking you to that promised land. Where will Minx take you?

Put it on the poll. No, at Levitard Show, you can't do it that way, Chris. It's a terrible poll question. Where will Minshew take you? Just make it this. Will Minshew take you within three acres of the promised land? All right, everybody, it's finally here. Best Ball Week at DraftKings, my favorite time of the year. And DraftKings Best Ball Millionaire Contest is the biggest fantasy contest ever at DraftKings. A $15 million guaranteed prize pool with two millionaires being crowned. DraftKings is offering everyone a draft one get one special. Your $20 entry fee scores you

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to get one bonus entry. $20 entry fee required. Reward expires at contest lock on 9524. See terms at draftkings.com slash DFS. The Libertard. You owe me everything. You owe me everything. You have added 10 years to my career! Yes I have! This man has! You haven't! That man! Who the hell are you? Stugatz. I am! Who the hell are you? Bullshit! Me! You're a rude young man! You're a fool! You're a fool! I already called you a fool! You can't call me! You're an idiot again! You're an idiot twice! You're a fool! You're a fool! You're a fool! You're a fool! You're a fool right back! You're an idiot again! You're an idiot twice! You're a fool! You're a fool! You're a fool right back! You're an idiot again! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot twice! You're an rude young man. You're a fool. You're a fool. I already called you a fool. You can't call me an idiot again. It's a fool-off. You're an idiot twice. You're an idiot for dismissing how much I've helped you.

This is the Don LeVatar Show with the Stugats. Roy, where is Stigatt? Seems like he's bothering the video crew right now. He's force feeding the lines to be added to YouTube right now. Are they all spelled correctly? Probably not. That would be a sign. He also told me that the reason that Seth Rogen was dressed like that is because he's doing a biopic of Jerry Garcia

Then we messed it up and we found out he's not that's Jonah Hill. Oh Wow that happens that does happen I feel like Gardner Minshew is like the uber driver that takes you to like Right around the barrier that you can get to when streets are blocked off for a big event And then even though he can drive you further just for convenience. He's like, I think you gotta get to when streets are blocked off for a big event. And then even though he can drive you further, just for convenience, he's like, I think you gotta get out here. He'll get you like a block away

from the barrier to a big event. Really? He won't get you to the big event. You still gotta walk to the big event, probably like half a mile, but he'll take you like within a block of the perimeter of the big event. I hate that move.

I am always like, I'm staying. You can drive me. No, I like to walk to find the person. I think he's the opposite. I think he's like, you know, they're telling us to get out of here But he might be the type of guy that would pose a national security threat just because he's like no trust me on this one We can get around this barricade, but he still won't get you there. They'll probably get you further away if anything No, it'll be trust me. I can get us there and then the car explodes because he could tell you to get out kindly

He's like as as Secret Services, Service is converging on the car, you'd be like, I got this. You go ahead. He'll lie to Secret Service about who you are. He'll be like, I got someone really important back here. I got to get through there. And then all of a sudden, you're in there. He's like, I told you it worked.

You know that's a move that worked? When I went to the Stanley Cup final, my app took a crap, but I took a car service because I was so sure the Panthers were going to win the Stanley Cup that day. Boy, was I wrong. And I was just scrolling forever. My app just took a total dump there.

And I was in this SUV, and the driver just goes, a guy like, I have a very important client in the back. And they're like, oh, go ahead. What's the difference between a car service and just an Uber or a Lyft? Money, alcohol, and TV screens. And the car service is at your disposal the entire time? Yeah, and keep in mind I thought man this night can get wild who knows where this night ends and it ended with me looking

at my bank account saying what have I done? Do you realize when I don't know if this happens to you guys it does happen to me with a good amount of self-awareness that sort of makes me take inventory of things I don't usually take inventory of. When your apps crash or you can't get internet service, do you realize the level of your addiction to technology that makes you sad about like, well, I need to correct this. My itchiness about I can't do anything without this phone

that leads me everywhere. It's a hopeless feeling. Do you ever have that moment where you've lost Wi-Fi connection and you're like, nothing's working, and then you flip down, you take Wi-Fi off, and your phone comes back to life. Yeah, comes back alive. You see the life of the internet uploading, You take wifi off and your phone comes back to life. Yeah, it comes back alive. Incredible.

You see the life of the internet uploading. You're like, yes! Hourglass fill. What a moment. When you see that phone of just like, ooh, now I can read again. Mike, when your app falls apart, does your dependency, does it become illuminated? Well, that app has fallen apart once before.

So I have since learned, like, if this thing's going to need a power cycle, let me do this. And that one's on me, because I don't have the excuse of, I was driving and that's how I forgot, because that's happened to me when I've been behind the wheel of a car, and then I've got like 17 people, I've got a traffic jam, I'm sweating, and then I have to wait for the phone to power back up.

Because, you know, as far as technologies come, the work around for everything seems to be what you used to do with your old school Nintendo system. Just hit it on the side. Power cycle, maybe blow inside of it, even though they say it doesn't work, bullshit, it works. Speaking of apps, I realize coming back from Tampa

that I am a great wazer. Like I am good, I don't just think about myself, I think about the people behind me. Because you know in Waze it's like, oh there's a car pulled up on the shoulder here, is it still there? That's the easy one of yes or no. If it's not marked and I'm like,

oh there's a hazard right there, boom you hit the hazard, what kind of hazard is it? Oh it's a car on the shoulder, boom I click that. Nobody is better at that than I am. But it got me thinking, because I'm driving and I'm like, oh, there's a cop up there a mile away. I wonder, do cops, when they're on Waze, are they putting no to help their brother out?

Like, hey, my brother's up there, I don't want to see he's there. No, I don't see a cop car there. And then all of a sudden that thing disappears. And he radios them, he's like, hey, you were on Waze, I just cleared you up. Beep, beep, over. Lying, so they're working together. Cops lying? If I was a cop, I mean, if you're a cop, you were on Waze, I just cleared you. Beep beep, over. Lying, so they're working together. I mean, it's cops lying?

If I was a cop, I mean, if you're a cop, you hate Waze. It's like, I got this beautiful spot behind this bush, and now all of a sudden, every car knows I'm here. I would hope that my brothers in arms are like, I got you, brother. I think if a cop is using Waze, and it says this is a cop in the area, he always has to hit yes,

because he's a cop in the area. It's like, thing, if you're undercover, and you say, are you a cop? You are obligated to, by law, say yes, because he's a cop in the area. It's like thing, if you're undercover and you say, are you a cop, you are obligated to by law say yes, I'm a cop, that's how it works. Put it on the poll please, do cops hate Waze? Oh, I love Waze, man, if it's like, oh there's an object in the middle of the road

in a quarter of a mile, that next quarter of a mile, I'm like, first one to find it wins, me and my wife are like, where is it, where is it? Oh, that little piece of tire, right there, I found it! Still there, boom, nothing feels better than Where is it? Oh, that little piece of tire, right there! I found it, still there, boom! Nothing feels better than doing, it's like being on a jury. You just feel like you are doing your part.

Have you been on a jury? No, I want to. It's terrible. I want jury duty. Why? You can take mine. How do I request it? Take mine, please.

I want like a month long trial. No, you don't. I wanna be an important person. I wanna be the lead jury. What's the person, like the lead person called? I want to be the foreman. Yeah. Or floorman.

All right. I want to be that guy. I feel like I would be, I feel like if I was on a jury, they would keep me. They would look at me and just be like, and I would lie. Cause I feel like if I said this job, Okay, stop. If I said this job, they would be like, get them out of here.

Like that's, you're, you're in the public. Why do you think that is? Right? I mean, cause you're, Cause we're in the public? Cause if you have a platform, I feel like they would just be like, I him out of here. Like, you're in the public. Why do you think that is? Right, I mean, because you're in the public? Because if you have a platform, I feel like they would just be like, I don't want that noise. I would just be like, I don't have a job, I'm fully committed to being here.

I don't think you, I mean, I don't know if that's a crime or not, but it sounds like a crime. I don't think you could just go to jury duty and start lying about things. Well, most people lie for the other way. They're like, how could I get out of this? I'm trying to lie to get in it. Well, the problem with this, Chris,

many problems, but the main problem with it is that, you know, the lawyers for each side are trying to pick people that they think will be dependable. So if you're just acting completely irrationally like a wild card, neither side will think this is someone that will work out for me. They won't know where you're gonna go. I'll be cool as a cucumber.

As a what? Cool as a cucumber. What is your move? what do you say? Just lean back. How do you get selected? Cause I'm in a situation where I have been selected, or I've been sent a jury summons for the third time in a year.

And I thought this is impossible. I even served on a jury, it's impossible. I got hit by the big three. I got civil, I got criminal, and now I have federal. So like, none of them offset each other, so all of them are still good. So I keep getting hit with you need to come. That's bad luck.

It's terrible luck. You're not resetting the general timeline. Well here's the thing, is that this time I'm gonna be out of town, but I can't get anyone on the phone to explain to them I'm gonna be out of town. So I had to do like an online thing and I'm trying to click, like I'm explain to them I'm gonna be out of town. So I had to do like an online thing and I'm trying to click, like I'm not even trying to like entirely get out of it.

Like let's just postpone it like a month so I should be good. And I can't find anyone to talk to. So this is a problem, cause this is in a couple of weeks. So I'm trying to figure out how to get out of it. And I don't think that like, if I could get a substitute in Chris,

I would love for Chris to go and be my substitute in this situation, but it doesn't seem like it's possible. I realized because I'm a junior that between the time that I was eligible for jury duty and the time that I moved out, all the jury summons came in as Roy Bellamy, so I didn't know if it was me or my father.

So I was like, hey, it's my dad. I'll have to go through these things. So what's your plan, Chris, when you get there? Sorry, Roy, I thought that you were done. Yeah, I'm done. My plan is just I'm into it. I'm into the process. No, but what are you gonna say when they ask you questions?

What do you say? Well, I think you wanna give off a combination of, I mean business, and I'm gonna take this serious, and you're not too into it. So I'll have like my body language will give off relaxed, but my eyes will give laser focus. So I'm kinda like playing with my beard. You wanna come off a little sexy. You just kinda lean back, but my eyes don give laser focus. So I'm kinda like playing with my beard, you wanna come off a little sexy,

you just kinda lean back but my eyes don't leave the attorney. Like I am locked in. Which one? Is this you coming off a little sexy? Which side? I don't think he's working. Which side are you looking at? Play with the beard a little bit.

Defense or? Whoever's talking. Like I'm moving, I'm side to side, I'm like ping pong, whoever's talking, who needs me? I knew the moment. Who needs me? I knew the moment that I was getting dismissed last time. I knew exactly what I did to get dismissed.

It was because they were going around and we were talking about, so this was not a criminal, this was civil or whatever, so it was a lawsuit. And this was a batch of like, I don't know, like 80 or 100 potential jurors. It was huge. Normally it's like 12 of us and they pick six,

so your odds aren't that good. This was an all-day affair and there was like 80 people and they had to whittle it's like 12 of us and they pick six. So like your odds aren't that good. This was like an all day affair and there was like 80 people and they had to like whittle it down to like 12. And I didn't survive like the, or I guess I survived the first two cuts so I'm still in there and I know like, oh this isn't gonna go well. And then you have like the people like,

I'm really excited, I wanna, it was like the Chris Cotes, I really wanna do this. I'm really eager to do this. The Whittingham's. Yeah, but they were also saying things that like, if I could give them advice, like you're not saying things that if I could give them advice, you're not saying things that are gonna get you selected.

You're being too forthright here. I object! You're giving off the wild card vibe. You're very excitable and you really wanna be part of this, but you're also giving off unreliable here. I don't think that they're gonna select you because you're giving them too much wiggle room. They need to know where you're gonna stand

before they select you. So it got to me. Overruled. And what was going on was it was like, it was a case where, it was like, I think it was like an insurance claim or something was going on, right? And there wasn't like an actual witness to the claim,

but they were bringing in witnesses that were paid witnesses that were experts on whatever the field was. So then they got, they're like, does anyone have any questions? And the question that I asked was, sustained. Well, I mean, if this person is getting paid and they're a witness, wouldn't you just pay a witness

to come in that's going to say exactly what you want them to say and present your case? Like for sale. It's their opinion, it's not an actual fact, they're not actual witnesses. And then I saw the defense attorney kind of perk up and look at the other defense attorney and they were like that might be our guy. And then I saw the plaintiff or whatever the words are,

look at me and they're like that is not our guy and I said I think that did it. I think that did it because then the judge did it, because then the judge is like, yes, that could be one way to look at it, but not necessarily the case. And I was like, I'll just stop talking now. I'll see myself out. I should honestly just got up at that moment,

I'm good. You should do the thing that you do on this show, like I'll leave. I know, we're good. Penalty box? And they're like, what the fuck is a penalty box? Can I approach the branch? You should please say that.

Like ask the judge to approach the branch the branch Absolutely caught that Chris Cody Why is it that you spoke there with all of your legal terms as both the attorney and the judge? Not a juror. I just show them that you know the well things used to work at a law office Do you ever tell them that or you keep that away? Because you don't want them thinking you're too smart because you're almost the lawyer. Keep that bad boy in your back pocket because that can get you out when you don't want to be there.

Chris Cody appearing to be too smart, you think is a way to go. Yes, yes. Let me tell you something. Jury polls, not the best of the best, exactly. Billy, you said something during the segment. You said you couldn't get anybody on the phone. Kenya for anything?

I'm dead serious about this. You've heard me lament before the way that customer service has collapsed all over the place just because we're now addicted to the technology and human beings don't have to answer the phone. But can you guys get anybody on the phone for anything? I finally was able to get someone on the phone, you know, he told me, oh, you gotta do that online.

And then he just gave me a website to go to do it. I'm like, bleh, bleh. Every company has like their answering machine before they get you to someone. If you know you can do this online, hey, you big dumb dumb, you go to blah, blah, blah dot com and you can do all of this. But if you'd like to talk to someone,

sit there and press zero. The number of times I don't need to tell you that I'm ordering food and I'm talking to somebody and they're like can't take your order this way I'm like, what do you mean? You gotta do it by phone that one's on you. I mean, what are you doing? I don't want to do it by phone. You want to do the old-school? Can I get the orange chicken, please? Yes, it's a white rice. Yes Do it on an app. I don't want to do it that way

Well, you can save some money doing it that way. I don't want to do it that way. No, no, no, saving money Dan's way I'm not looking to save money. I'm looking at the same time. Well, you're just a boomer at that point Stugots here for my friends over at simply safe imagine a burglary at your home If you're picturing a shady character sneaking about under the cloak of night You may be surprised to learn that according to the FBI Most break-ins happen during broad daylight and spike during the summer months as more homes sit unattended and the days grow longer That's why you need simply safe home security now simply safe is the only security company I trust my own home and family's protection offering me peace of mind whether I'm home or away

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