The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Great Myles Garrett Debate

Episode Date: January 5, 2026

"Animal abuse and racism...makes my face hot." Zaslow is somehow ALREADY tired of Trinidad Chambliss, and Dan refuses to believe in the Patriots. But more importantly, what matters more: games or snaps? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the big suey, presented by Draft Kings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habit. Pitch you a liar. This episode of the Dan Labitart show is presented by Draft Kings. Draft Kings, the crown is yours. Chris Cody, I'm thinking about needing some help here with an executive decision where we just make the whole week a fake pregame show that leads up to Thursday night's biggest game in the history of games since games were played by the University of Miami. Like, if we're going to do this right over the next week, because if you've been listening

to this show since the pandemic, you watched this happen. You watched Mike Ryan become someone who was in the NIL community trying to get into the thicket of how boosters influence things. You saw how Columbus High School made anointed Mario Cristobal as the guy from Sabin who could go get all of the players. And he's obviously fixed it. Like the things that were plaguing Miami, they've gone from being pretty mediocre for 20 years to getting into the big business of athletics. And at the beginning of it, it was John Ruiz. and life wallet. And now that has all, it's all gone away. And what's left is a man who came up through this program and learned how to win championships at Jimmy Johnson's knee. Offensive

lineman like his brother. Filed at FIU. Failed at FIU. You would say fail? He didn't fail. He won a bowl game. Had a great player in T.Y. Hilton. Okay. That was P. Garcia. Well, it got fired at the end because he wasn't getting results at the end. And his career was in disarray. Sneaky Pete. And, and then, And he ends up rehabbing this Miami program where they are favored to win the next most important game in program history. But it is fair to say we haven't had this spirit here since 2001. Because even when Miami was going to pit as the number one team in the country with Stephen Morris as the quarterback, none of us believed that was a championship worthy team that could play with anyone.

We didn't look at a season's worth of rivals and say, oh, at the end, they're going to win all their games. No, it was a team with flaws. this team is not flawed. We beat all our rivals this here. And you can add Ohio State to that mix because Miami has always had this weird relationship with Ohio State in terms of hatred that's outside since the Fiescible. They beat Ohio State. They beat Notre Dame. They beat Florida. They beat Florida State. No one cares about this more than Mario Cristobal. You think I care a lot? You think I've been a homer for 20 years on this show?

Mario Cristobal cares way more than me. He cares way more about getting Miami back to where it should be than anyone else on the planet. I guarantee you. He's a psycho about it. Does the Ohio State stuff, Terry Porter, the cheating, the flag, does all that go away if the Keynes win the national championship this year? Because I kind of feel like to me, you know, as a Heat fan, the Allen Houston shot was really bad. And then seven years later, the Heat won the NBA finals. Like, okay, I can let that go now.

I think it's even more impressive when you consider on their path there, they knocked off that team. There was a surreal moment. I can't feel my face. Final whistle blows. I'm looking around trying to soak it in. And if you look at the Miami sections, in the air, you're seeing people brought their own penalty flags. And well after the final whistle, you start seeing them go up in the air.

Really? Yeah, like confetti, like little streamers, like flares going up in the section. I thought that was pretty cool. I think we need to escalate this with the imaging that we have that rises to the moment that says that this is the biggest thing we've seen in many a decade. gave me 20 years. Look at that. That is the imaging we need. There it is.

A drunk Greg Cody driving home from the holiday party. Being driven home. Whispering into the phone and complaining to his son. Biggest game in 20 years. I think we need to build up to Thursday's game. Mike is going on Thursday. Zazzle's going to the Peach Bowl. I'm going to the wrong game.

I'm going to the Peach Bowl. Sucker. The two teams representing each semifinals should be able to trade venues. You got two East Coast teams going out. West. You've got two West Coast teams going out east. We should just make a deal with the Big Ten and say, hey, you get the Fiesta, give us the sugar. If all four teams agree, right?

What are we doing? Yeah, this is stupid. It's like, this is annoying. I hate the bowl game set up here. It's weird. You're all about the Goodyear tires, and then in six days, you're just supposed to forget that and become a verb-go. But us having a home game of who win, we like that. Yeah, Miami might be playing at home

for the championship. One game at a time. They're favored. They're favored. It's wild. It's a neutralizer because they're going to be going up against a team either Oregon and Indiana would be terrifying they're going to be going up against a team that is going to be favored and picked by most to beat them but the great neutralizer

is a home game you can say favored to beat them but I don't believe anybody should be favored by much against Miami like I don't I have not seen a lot of teams that I would say are better than Miami Indiana's impressive Indiana

Indiana can beat you in the same ways that Miami can beat you but I wouldn't say that Miami doesn't have a chance against anybody like no that that is gone but this is but this is the reason it this is why you know which championship worthy we're about to have a new champion where there one of these teams has never won before and so your there's going to be first time national champion head coach uh so it Miami it obviously has won championships but indiana and Oregon and Mississippi these are all newcomers newcomers what really the blue blood remaining program, after the SEC gets knocked aside in Ohio State and Clemson isn't what it was,

this is the name program, but it hasn't been that for 20 years. And the name on the marquee among these four schools is Miami. Miami's the only one with a real history there at winning at football. So they've won the business of it when you can just look at it and say they got the most expensive quarterback, turned him into a game manager and built all. all around him, a defense that can beat you, and an offense that has enough playmakers, and they're just going to maul you up front. They're going to be what the Christobal family name is.

Punch you in the face again and again, even if you're Ryan Day, even if it's midfield. Mass kicks ass. And this is who he is. He shakes hands with his elbows. Do you guys realize? I heard this on the broadcast where they were introduced in Kyle Whittingham at Michigan. There were people saying that their hands were still hurting from days earlier when he shook it. And that's what Cristobal is.

It's another one of these meatheads. Well, who will shake your hand. Adrian Peterson. Yes, more vigorously than you can shake his hand, and your hand will hurt for three days, and he's going to beat you because he cares about all of this more than you do. I mentioned this before Miami's mid-season hiccup, and a couple games later it was viewed as a joke of a statement,

but we need to reshape what we think of genius along offense. It's always supposed to look like Lincoln Riley, because we're so tethered to the quarterback. You'll hear, like, Trinidad's going to get plenty of hype over these next few days because fans and ESPN media were just fixated on the quarterback. Man, enough with us Trinidad, that chamberliss. Like, he's a well, unbeatable quarterback.

Please. I'm already tired. I know he's really good. Zaz, you got eyes, right? I already tired about hearing about him. Yes, I saw the game. Okay, you saw what he did. Okay.

He was brilliant. Oh, he's some Superman quarterback. Get out of here. My larger point is, like, Inensible. My larger point is Mario's never going to get it. Whatever, Dan. Mario's never going to get to be the genius type

because everyone's just like caveman, offensive linemen, and he'll never escape what happened to Georgia Tech against Georgia Tech, even though he's been executing quite well. No one's ever going to talk about that again at the Keynes when the national championship. He will escape that.

It will follow him forever. But it'll be one of those things that he overcame. But he's not ever going to be genius guy. But he's a genius about program building. He's a genius about offensive line play. He's a genius about developing guys along the trenches. He really is. And that makes everything easier,

for a quarterback. That makes your offensive coordinator look like a genius when you build the roster the way that he has. Shambless. It's not off already. It's only Monday morning. I'm tired to hear about him already. All right, Peach Bowl, breath. Like, you're just envious because you're not going to be at the good game? A little bit.

That's what it is. There we go. A little bit. I mean, when I saw the brackets come out, knowing I'm going on the peach bowl. What? Cains are on the other side? What? The University of Miami will take center stage here when I was talking about the history of the things in this market that have mattered in sports and the

way football matters here. Miami, the university, made it matter here at a time that the dolphins weren't winning championships. They had Marino, but they weren't winning championships. The University of Miami became a professional sports program in this town and didn't seem to have the money to get Mario Cristobal. Like $90 million for that seemed like a lot of money and it seemed like too much to give him. It didn't seem like money Miami had. Miami was aggressive and then he went out and got a lot of the best players, physical players. What's interesting about this town's relationship with this Miami Hurricanes team is Miami was only really an underdog one time throughout their natties, right?

It was the first one. Discounted, no one thought that they could do it, and they ended up playing a game at home and winning a national title. And then that started a run that had them as the favorite. They were a 14-and-a-half-point favorite when they played Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl. This is the first team that has tapped back into that first team, that first national title team, which is, no, they really doubted you. They said that you didn't belong.

They were going to take a team that lost you heads up because everyone thought that you couldn't do this. And it's interesting that there is only one team in the nation that can play that card more than Miami. And it's a team whose coach didn't think they had a shot to win the national title in Ole Miss. Larger scope, though, the thing that's, you know, is you build upon this. James Madison isn't in this class. Tulane, you're not in this class. There are 10 teams that can win the title, and Miami is now one of them. They have built the foundation that can make them one of them.

Now, Indiana would say they've done the same thing. Oregon's been trying to build that for a year and always loses one of these next two games. Much of the time when Cristobal was their coach. This is exactly the kind of team that can beat him because of this quarterback, because of getting rid of the ball quickly. Well, we all know Mass Kicks ass, but the way to kick him, Mass's ass is make that mask carry its own weight and chase you around and play lots of reps. Miami is different, though, than when they played SMU and Louisville in terms of rotation.

You got Marquise Lifefoot beating double teams now. Mass kicks ass. The thing that I thought that was confusing Zaz, and there are a number of them, is Chambliss the first time he played Georgia was one for 10 in the fourth quarter. In this fourth quarter, he's like the best player in the sport. Like in this third and fourth quarter against Georgia, you're looking at him and you're like, you need to redo the Heisman voting. 100% if the Heisman was held today, he'd win.

Yeah. Because that performance was on the real. If he was eligible to enter the NFL draft, what would people be saying? Well, he's trying to apply for an extra year. He is eligible to enter the NFL draft. I asked a front office person, and I don't know. He's 6'1, which you can get away with in that league, but he's going to have to put on some pounds. But I think he's an NFL player, no doubt.

I mean, those were NFL throws. Yeah, his arm is so live. That looked like Cam Ward, but it's not just no. it's just not how hard he's throwing it obviously it's going it's the accuracy 30 yards down field where he's got a receiver that's covered he did like kind of you ever see that movie wanted with Angelina Jolie

where they made the bullet like yeah like he did like he's able to do that? He put so much I knew you didn't watch it put so much mustard on that thing it kind of like went around you know about that bullet Dan where it goes around the one person or like a pole maybe and it hits the person he wants

Hey Jeremy happy holidays Happy Junuka I want to toast you. Actually, I don't. I will toast with you. Okay. We're co-workers. Mm-hmm. Friends, you could say. No, we cannot say that, but we both enjoy an ice cold Miller Light. That's true. Especially around the holidays. You know, it's a 50th anniversary of Miller Light. It's really amazing. Every time we say that, I can't believe. Well, it's crazy because, like, they've basically been partners with the Dan Levitard show for half of their existence. When I put it to you that way, we got an old-ass show. Yeah, we do. That's crazy. Hey, let's look around at our

friends not each other and our family even though they're not here i do miss your brother though yeah i know i'll i'll bring him back and take that first sip look around and know that we made the right decision when it comes to a domestic light logger miller light is the best and it's a holiday season as we mentioned why don't you enjoy that holiday season by drinking a beer that won't weigh you down the original light beer since 1975 still hidden different 50 years later brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, rich, balanced coffee notes and that iconic golden color that you can see from across the room. The best

holiday beers are the ones you don't expect. Miller Lite, great taste, 96 calories. Go to Miller Lite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96

calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. All right, kicking things off with Smeering off the official vodka sponsor of the NFL. and the number of vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smyrinoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smyrano. Smearrof!

Chris, you know what goes great with Smyrano? Yes, but I'm really talking about game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal. Game Day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smearov.

Starting this December, Smyranoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smyranoff Commission, merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Ailely May. Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize. A trip to the biggest game of the off season. Plus, one fan will win a Lely May's one of one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January, 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?

Smirnoff! That's right, Chris, fans 21 and over can head to Smyranoff Socialists to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smyrnav vodka. Number 21 at your local retail. Smyrath. Please drink responsibly. Smyranov. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume, the Smyranoff Company, New York, New York.

Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking aid. Spirnoff. No purchase necessary must be legal U.S. resident 21 or older. Sweep steak starts 1215, 2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1.23, 2026 at 11.59.59 p.m. Eastern. It's the official rules at program website. Dan Lebatard.

My algorithm on Instagram is dance, all boobs. Stugats. It's a good algorithm. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. You're already sick of Trinidad Chambliss talk? Yeah, I am. That's right. We just got back from the new year. I know, and you guys are talking about him.

Like, he's guaranteed to just run the steamroll. Have you watched Hurricane's defense? Because Miami's back, and this is what it sounds like. It sounds like Michael Irvin. It sounds like Miami's getting throaty. It sounds like you're going to have to hear about this for the entirety of the week. because we want you to hate all of it by Thursday. Otherwise, it doesn't feel like it used to.

Well, you trust more. Kane's defense are treating that Chamberliss? Well, getting rid of it quickly, I do not trust it. I mean, if you neutralize their edge rush, which Ohio State, like, it's not like they don't know what needs to be stopped, okay? They've won two games on defense. They've won two games on Ruben Bain is a first-round pick, obviously. One of the rare defensive players that you're always circling and always watching because there's the chance. chance, and you can, there are a couple of guys, Miles Garrett does this.

Miles Garrett did it yesterday to break the sack record, where you know a man who's physically stronger than everyone else also can get lower, quicker than you, cutting the corner. He's just getting, all he's doing is running from where he is to your quarterback. There's nothing impeding him because you can't. A massive statue back. You're like, I can't get around this guy. No, but so, so I don't want to get spoiled or numb to this, okay? Miles Garrett broke the sack record

at a time in the NFL where guys aren't sitting back there for five seconds anymore. Everyone's getting rid of the ball fast because they're scared of Miles Garrett. I want to hear about that. That's a fake sack record. What do you on about? What do you mean, what am I on about? What are you on about? That's a fake sack record. He's got some cockamamie thing you're doing.

Why? What do you mean? Why? Yeah, just why. Tell me. Okay, am I talking to Mike Ryan who pretends he's a Browns fan? I'm not a Browns fan. I'm not, what are you throwing more? I'm just thinking short. I'm just making short. Look, guy. I'm riding high. Let's move on. Miles Garrett. Miles Garrett gets the fake sack record yesterday. He surpasses T.J. Watt and Strayhan in a 17th game. All right. Those guys were only allowed to play 16 games. So not

only did he get the record in a 7th. Like, how do we not acknowledge that he had more games? Totally fair. And it's not like, it's not like he surpassed the sack where by like three sacks or four sacks, one sack in the final game. We're acknowledging. We're acknowledging. Yes. You can count to one. And you can count to one. And let's just all, you know, let's just say the quiet part out loud. Joe Burrow took a dive. With a, Joe Burrow took a dive on. Such a clear dive.

Did you see Mina's tweet about the Miles' get-off on that sack was the fastest in the league. Also. On a sack. What does that have to do with Joe Burrell taking a dive? Like break bar. Because he had two tenths of a second to take it. Like, I don't think he processed that he was taking the dive. And maybe Miles Garrett touched Joe Barrow with a finger and Miles Garrett and Joe Burrow just went to the ground.

Have you seen what Miles Garrett looks like? Yeah. Touching him with a finger might send him to the ground. The funniest part to me was watching Miles Garrett's teammates try to avoid touching him. Like, this is not me. I don't want any part of this. That's his sack. It was so obvious a dive by Joe Burrow.

So are you saying he pulled a Brett Farf? Yeah. Absolutely. That was not that bad. It was not as bad. If that was a 10, that was a 5th. Miles Garrett wasn't even near him. So you can count to one.

I'm not sure you can count to a second because it takes way less than that. That's two for two right there. All right. Well, T.J. Watt, you mentioned him. 22 and a half sacks. That's right. You know how many snaps he played? I don't know.

Why would you? 618. Okay. Michael Strahan, 22 and a half sacks. You know how many snaps he played? Why would you? 567. You're big on the extra game.

Of course. 22 sacks for Miles Garrett. 437 snaps. Okay. You're a fool. He's lazy. You're a sucker. Why is he playing so little?

I mean, that's picking and choosing stats. That's picking and choosing. When you can count to one and say he had an extra game, but he had 200 fewer snaps to get the sacks. So when a quarterback gets the pass. passing record. Do we then look at how many attempts he had compared to the quarterback that he passed before? He only had this many times. So he's, this was more impressive. We don't do that. He had, he had 200 fewer chances. Why does it come out of the game so much? Maybe it was less snaps because he can't handle full load. How about that? Hey, I want to criticize Miles

Garrett now. Play more. Fast in question. Just to be clear, if you're not familiar with the place, because it is, it is funny that we just lose context in the moment. Miles Garrett has been playing nowhere football in that dumpster fire in Cleveland, giving his Hall of Fame excellence to a true turd of a franchise that has wrecked everything over the last few years around him. His body hurts, he's been through a car accident, I'm not sure how much he actually wanted to be there, but he took all of the money and stayed there,

and they were every bit as bad as you think they would, and the great joy of their season is just wrecking Cincinnati and trying to wreck Pittsburgh at the end. But when you talk physically about what this human being is and the toll that that takes on the body. There were five minutes remaining in that game, and anyone who was watching it was only watching it to see if Burrow would give up a sack to Miles Garrett.

Oh, he gave it up, but he got there so fast, at least in part because Miles Garrett has never wanted anything and his life as bad as he wanted to do something in those five minutes, which is the last of what he had on the season. If people don't understand what it takes to be great at that sport, physically, that dude, this is how I will tell you what, you can give me Lawrence Taylor and Reggie White and everyone else, and I'll understand.

But for the modern age on how they're playing football, my proof is, look at it. Just look at that left tackle paid higher than anyone in the sport to keep him out of the backfield, who as soon as he leans on him, the left tackle cannot do anything about it. He's going to be at Burrow in two seconds. He's sacked him 11 times the last couple of times they've played because he's an unblockable human being. It's asinine. That guy, look, there are some physical specimens in that sport. Nobody cares because it's Tennessee, but Jeffrey Simmons, like, I don't understand how that man

is that much stronger than everyone else and that much faster. No one cares about the Titans. But what Miles Garrett did physically in that league after 17 games at the end of that nowhere season, I can't imagine how bad he wanted that sack at the end to get that gladiator moment. It's the best moment he will ever have as a Cleveland Brown. There will be none better than that. That is the best moment of his career now and forevermore, because his excellence will be swallowed by what that dumpster fire.

If he wanted the record that bad, why wouldn't he play more? I'm confused why he didn't play more plays. The snaps? Like, just, like, did they just wrote? Like, they just wanted to get them. I think they would argue that they probably get more out of them

in certain situations. I agree. It's like a pitch count. It's ridiculous. I gotta be honest, you throw on the snap count in there. Like, I don't mean, it's such a weak move. That's such a good point, though, because I was with you, I'm like, games.

You said one more game. How can you make? So much more important. What? Than 200 more opportunities? The extra game gives, literally. Literally, the extra game gave him the opportunity. You're full with snaps, though.

You can only play snaps in these games. I understand how that works. All right. But literally, like, it's undebatable without the extra game. He doesn't get the record. I'm sorry to tell you this. You're embarrassing yourself. It's happened.

You've done it. You've stuck your foot in your mouth. If there was not a 17th game, it's a yes or no question. It's real simple. At least I think it's simple. Maybe it's not as simple. Maybe this is a different brain than the brain over there. If Miles Garrett did not have a 7th, the Cleveland Browns, the NFL didn't play a 17th game in week 18 yesterday.

Yes or no? Yes or no? Is Miles Garrett the Sack King? This is sad. Yes or no? I don't even, this is sad. The answer is no. I'm sad for you.

And it doesn't matter how many snaps he took because the answer is still. But the snaps I feel like do matter. So if they didn't play the game yesterday, would you've been coming here to talk about, he's the Sack King, even though he has half a sack. less than the record because he has less snaps. What kind of stupid is that? When I heard that when I heard he only had that few snaps, I would have been like, wow. You would make that case. I would be like, the games provide the extra snaps. Yeah. Exactly. But if he had more snaps and the other guys, it'd be like, yeah, you're on to something. Because that's obvious. So if he didn't have the extra game and he was half a sack fewer than Strayant and what?

You would sit here and say, Zaslow. I know he doesn't have more sacks, but he did this in so many fewer snaps. I want to keep engaging you. What's more important to get him the record? Games or snaps? I'm so I'm embarrassed for you, Mike, Ryan, then I'm going to stop. I'm okay. What's more important? Games or snaps. That's what we're debating. I'm embarrassed for you.

Well, clearly games is more important because you need the other games. I would argue if you had 900 snaps in eight games. You a big 72 dolphins guy? I mean, whatever. Are you a big 72 dolphins guy? No, not really. No, you better not be because you're a games guy. Okay, I'm just, I'm embarrassed for you though.

I'm still embarrassed. Just like I was a minute ago, I'm still embarrassed for you. I'm a good year, Cotton Bowl, classic champion. You don't have to worry about me. All right. You're a peach bowl, breath. You put it on the poll at Levitard show. Can Miles Garrett really be the Sack King if it's one extra game?

And also put on the poll at Lebitard show, is Miles Garrett the Sack King because he did it in fewer snaps? It's crazy. Because I don't actually even know if Miles Garrett maybe missed some time. Was he injured at all? Did he miss games? I'm still not even 100% sure the set is real because it was so shocking. I kept Googling it.

I kept Googling it. Usually you're unsure of stats are real because they don't matter. I don't want to do this anymore with you guys. He's an unblockable human being, and if you tell me, he comes. Let's not forget what he did to Billy at Radio Row. They don't have anyone else, people. Please understand that every game plan every week is just, please don't let that man wreck our quarterback. Also, I want to point out to people, this happened during the break.

Why was it reported by Adam Schefter all of a sudden that the Dolphins, had offered four first round picks to the Bengals for Joe Burrow for the rights to draft Joe Burrow. Where did that come from? Why was that out there at the time that it was out there? Because they were playing the Bengals. And so it was Burrow playing against the Dolphins and that was just an added storyline for it. You know, you had to get people to watch that game. So that's Adam Schefter doing the league a solid.

We did have some breaking news as we were talking about Trinidad Chamblis and his NFL prospects, provided he gets an additional year, That waiver from the NCAA is being reported that he's agreed to return to Ole Miss, hinging on that waiver. God, enough of this Trinidad Chamberl. Per Jordan Schultz, the Titans have requested to interview Chiefs offensive coordinator Matt Nagy for their vacant head coaching position. Did you want to do the carousel?

I thought you were going to break in with your Pete Fairbanks news. That was a... Pete Fairbanks aside with the By-Abee Barlands. They spent money. $13 million on that guy. He throws hard. That's the story there. More than Pete Fairbanks, the Marlins spent money.

Guys, this guy is one of the best characters in baseball. I love hearing him interviewed so much. He seems to be flamboyantly weird and enjoys it and throws 107 miles an hour and some of it's in the strike zone. What's great about Pete Fairbanks is not only is he like one of the best relievers in baseball. But now, as the weirdo that you're about to hear, he might still be the second weirdest guy in that bullpen because they have a guy who slaps himself in the face before every time he comes out of the bullpen. But Fairbanks is equally as weird as he is dominant on the mound. We're playing in our new house in the pool and I pulled the pool basketball hoop down

onto my face after don't get on a three-year-old to, you know, kind of teach him an early lesson in life that, you know, when you're in the paint, you cannot be caught aware of unaware is underneath the rim. And did that end up with me, with the black eye? Yes. I love this guy. Marlon should spend money on that stadium. We'll get to that in a second because I do want to talk about the winner classic.

But just the Fairbank signing is a wonderful one because I can't wait for this guy to get in front of cameras and be interviewed. He has been funny even after games when he's been terrible. No, I thought it generally sucked. I didn't think it was a specific suck. I thought it was like an all-encompassing. type of suck, so you know, we're going to try and rectify that, but right now I'm going to be pretty pissed about

it. That looks like Rose there. He does. He does. Same nose, Rose. But how many pitches did he suck in? Because if it was fewer pitches that he sucked, that's more important than someone who pitches a lot more and sucks, right? You're going to keep... You don't want to play this here. You're going to keep doing this to Miles Garrett today. The Browns...

Are you disputing what I'm saying, that this is the greatest moment Miles Garrett will have in his career? He will not have a better one in that uniform. Oh, well, no, in that uniform. That'll be his best He'll probably play for somebody else at some point. Okay, but in... Hard contract to move famously. And in that, look, man, throughout sports, we are seeing the age of mastery.

LeBron James, Shohei Otani, just... Keante Scott. Shear lunacy throughout sports. We are witnessing it. Are we not? Are we not? We're living this. You don't view this as a form of mastery?

He's probably the best defensive player in football. I'm not disputing that. I'm telling you that he had to get a record in extra games and the quarterback who he got it against took a dive. That's it. There was a play. They ran a pickback. Devin Bush ran a pickback, a pick six,

and Miles Garrett had the speed to help nuke the play at the line of scrimmage. He's incredible. Catch up to Devin Bush who was like, hey, do you want this touchdown just to help boost your argument for a deep point? He's like, now go ahead. Well, he threw a block and killed somebody. It was an incredible feat of athleticism. that was just so casual.

He missed the block, actually, because he was running around and circled. His speed and athleticism was just sort of circling around the pick six. Casually pulled back up to Devin Bush. He was like, no, you should take it. I'll take it. You should take it. I think he wanted Miles Garrett to block. That was almost not a pick six because Miles Garrett was just sort of docy dowing around the pick six on the way there.

He was like, hey, you want this? And Miles Garrett literally goes like, uh, I don't, like he's pondering. No one is telling you, Miles Garrett, is incredible. I'll sit here and tell you he was the best defensive player in the game. Okay, that's not even what I'm saying, because you're measuring him against now. What I'm saying is, if we're living in an age of mastery and you concede to me that the left tackle is more athletic and 360 pounds and bigger and stronger than he's ever been, and the quarterback's getting it out faster than he ever has, this is the best you've ever seen at getting back there. Everyone knows he's the one that's got to be blocked.

That year after year after. year everyone knows he's the one that's got to be blocked for him to have that year this year on a defense that is okay because he has that year like this is the best you've ever seen and I don't think that's prisoner of the moment. That is by far a superior point than your less snaps in 17 games nonsense. Okay. That right there I understand. But it's still he needed the extra game to get the sack. But everything you just said, I can jive. The good thing about points is you can pick and choose and form like an entirely new point using all this data. Data is important.

Are you laughing with me? At MedCan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health. From the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment.

today. Medcan, live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Don Libetard. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football.

Football. Football. Football. Football. Stugats. Football. Football. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats.

I was the second best pick six of the weekend. The best being Keante Scott, picking off Julian Sane and talking shit to the Ohio State sideline, the entire runback all to end it with the Jim Thorpe Award pose in the end zone. With Turf Toe, I want to go back again and have you guys give me a Mount Rushmore because I don't think Scott can go in that discussion yet, although maybe in retrospect, we will think about it at that time. Ed Reed had a play years ago to preserve an undefeated season at the goal line. He ran 90 yards with a football. The only game Miami would have lost that

season. That goes in the Pantheon, correct? May I, a sneaky submission here. CJ Daniels catch against Notre Dame ends up being like the most consequential catch in Miami history because they don't win the game without that catch they don't get in the CFP without that catch in retrospect that catch becomes even greater than it was in the moment I got Dorsey to Shockey

so that was the rejuvenation of the program that feels not unlike this one when I say they came back from probation and then they beat Florida State last drive of the game type stuff Dorsey to Shockey and it births All the tight ends that would come after shock you because once you get one and once you get it rolling and once the business of it gets rolling, you're in Miami, everybody wants to live in Miami. Why wouldn't it be a giant program?

It's a better place to live than Wisconsin. Like why wouldn't all the football players want to be around here, year round playing at Miami? That's crystal ball's advantage. It's always has been. And now it's also no state income tax because we're playing that game now too in the business of we have the most expensive quarterback. They went out and got Carson Beck and paid him a salary in the millions. I think it's been reported over $3 million. He's the highest paid player, correct?

You'll see some numbers out there. The one that's most out there is 4.2. Maybe it got there with incentives. It wasn't what it was real. But he's not their best player or their most important player. They have first round picks along the offensive and defensive line. That is how they will beat you. The other teams do not have that.

The four remaining teams do not have that. Yeah, what is it? seven million on the offensive lines. It's not four first round picks in the trenches. Yeah, Miami has the best line of scrimmage left in the college football playoff. With a coach who just wants to hit you in the face with a mallet. I like it. Yeah. He's had to learn to adapt, but we'll see if they can adapt again. I am worried about the ability to get rid of the ball quick and run tempo. It's always been Miami's heel. But why would you be worried if you have the Michael Irvin sound to carry with you in the huddle just shouting at anyone that'll listen?

This is how Miami's going to play football this week. What is that the sound up? If I didn't give you the context of what this is, if I just told you this is only and exclusively an audio experience, you do not have any context for this other than what is this sound? Someone struggling to stay afloat in like the ocean. You have it being a human being, though. Yes, I got like, let's keep it.

I think the ambient noise, the step, again, let's try and eliminate the state. stadium noise and just isolate the sound. I know we can't do this with audio right now, but I just ask you to close your eyes and imagine. What is this sound I've given you no context? You don't know it's Michael Irvin with a belt on the sideline spanking a cooler or whatever. You just know nothing. The witch at the end of the Wizard of Oz.

I think it sounds like someone's on fire. Same thing. While running. That's great, actually. That's pretty good. People are going, stop dropping, roll, roll! Yeah, someone has just emerged from a... Look, oh my God, that person from that building waving his arm.

He's on fire! That's how I imagine it. Lay down, roll over! But he's not listening, because he's on fire. So it's hard his senses aren't picking up what you're saying. Anyone beat that? I can't beat that. I want to do funniest thing from the time that we,

We were off and I also want to bang around the room here and ask you guys what's the most interesting thing we weren't able to talk about over the last two weeks. Give me one thing and one thing only. Chris Cody, we start. We begin the bidding with you. Hey people. Tell us what in the sport made you laugh hardest this weekend. In this segment we call What Make You Laugh this weekend. I'm going with just the Patriots taking over the dolphins again They were bad They had Brady, they were bad And now they're back again and it's annoying This Drake May's good and the dolphins stink And for me over the break

That's what I sat in the entire time Is the Patriot run here Something that you guys believe America believes Like they have not lost very much. They have dragged the bottom of their division and they get to play against that other cruddy division that no one should be in the playoffs from. I think so.

Like, nobody actually believes that that's going to be representing the AFC and the Super Bowl, correct? Most people believe that Jacksonville can beat that and Houston can beat that and the Chargers might beat that and Denver might beat that, correct? Or do you think that most people listening

to this are saying, yeah, the Patriots are back, Drake May is indeed an MVP. He is somebody who's just as good as Josh Allen, and I believe this is him, this is his signature moment. He's going to take down every team in the sport. I think they're on the same level right now as all of those teams you just mentioned. Jacksonville. Like, why would you believe more in Jacksonville or Denver than Drake May, New England?

Like, Drake, Drake, May is the best quarterback of that group right there. So why would you believe in those teams more than New England? Because I haven't believed in New England all year, and now it would require me to change my mind. But, like, you believe in Jacksonville all year? No, I haven't. I don't. It's not that I trust anyone in the AFC, but I,

I'm not doing this by definition the way that you're doing it, where it's like, oh, let me choose all the teams I don't trust. Those would be all the ones in the AFC. Like we can do that with every single one in the AFC. You don't trust any of them. I guess the question I'm asking you is who do you mistrust the least? Because everyone listening to this is going to say, yeah, I could distrust Bo Nix,

and yes, I could distrust the Patriots, and of course I could distrust Jacksonville, and the Steelers aren't any good. I know they're not any good. They're just another Mike Tomlin miracle. Oh, I've been watching the Houston Texans the last nine games. I was asleep while Davis Mills was saving their season, and now they've got the defense to beat anybody.

And if the Chargers were actually healthy, they too could win the Super Bowl with Jonathan Zaslou's greatest coach ever, Jim Harbaugh. Why are you saying it like that? Because somebody said it that way on ESPN Radio this weekend on a show with you. Really? Yeah. It was Zass. LOW. Did Trevor Madage call me Zass Lau?

Yeah, I was embarrassed for whoever it was, but I did not know who it was. I'm sorry that they did that. They need to understand that yours is a name that deserves respect. Thank you. Roy, what was the funniest thing from the sports weekend? Kickers, Dan, specifically in last night's game between the Ravens and Steelers, because the Steelers season came down to two miskicks. It's stupid, right, that we decide games this game? We're going to agree that no other sport does it this way.

decided at the end with a guy who doesn't play the sport that all the other guys play. Like, it's a dumb way to do it, right? That Miles Garrett can't win because at the end, soccer player comes down and plays a totally different sport. You see Derek Henry's face when the kick was no good last night? Him mouthing, like, he missed

it? It's like if extra in baseball was a three-point shoot-up. It really is that different. We don't have anything like it, right? Here's the game. That would be if there were three-point shots throughout the game, though, sprinkled in. We do kick throughout the game. Ole has a good kicker. Really good. Professional kicker.

Going to get drafted. So do we. So do we. Mike Ryan, what was the funniest thing from the sports weekend? D.K. Metcalf punched a guy. And then that guy had a press conference with a backwards flex-fit hat. And I know you, Jonathan Zaslow, definitely appreciated that look. What on with that?

D.K. Metcalf came very close to costing Pittsburgh at season. Aaron Rogers hit the end of his career, possibly. and instead Pittsburgh wins last night because a kicker comes out at the end. And by the way, Pittsburgh is no better or more playoff worthy today because one kick was missed by one kicker from 44 yards that he would have made 86% of the time, but now Pittsburgh season advances. Weird, Miles Garrett and D.K. Metcalfe, they have these unprecedented body types

and these weird fits of rages. I don't know what's going on. Was this real, this Lions fan press conference? This seemed fake. No, it's real. Let's play it. After this guy, At an incident with D.K. Metcalfe, he got a table together and did a press conference.

Let's start this over, guys. But there's two things. Animal abuse, racism, like, I get hot right away. Like, I can feel my face gets all warm. So I guess I want to be crystal clear about one thing. I didn't use any racial slurs. No hate speech. I mean, none of that stopped the game.

Actually, Netflix. 15 years, he's a ticket holder for the Lions. I've never done that at all. So to Kalen, if you're watching this, man, just, if you could just say that, please, like, my family's getting threats and stuff, and it's not cool. So whether you said that or not, I'm sure you didn't want that to happen to the family,

even if you did, like I forgive you, man. Well, hold on, hold on. Maybe I heard this wrong. A lot to unpack there. Do you just say that racism and animal abuse makes his face warm? Yeah, he gets hot. There's two things in this world, Roy. It's those two things.

He hates those things. Wow. That's the part you seized on, Roy? Of all of all of what was happening there, that's what you seized on, that he gave you a window into his soul by saying these are the two things that he cannot abide. I'm getting hot just saying it now. I thought he did a convincing job of making me know that he cares about those things. Yeah, I got the hot face.

It makes my face all. one. And he did have a little barb at D.K. by calling him by his given name. Well, but what happened there? According to some eyewitness reports, what set off the entire situation was that fan using D.K.'s first name

and for him to use the opportunity at that presser to kind of kneel him one more time. It's funny. But we laugh at this. Did he cost himself $45 million in guarantees? Did D.K. Potentially. Potentially.

I mean, I mean, I mean, yep. Yeah, we missed that. Glad we can talk about it.