The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Nail Ripper (feat. David Samson)
Episode Date: June 24, 2025David Samson's takes sound like chalk, nails, a board or something. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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["The Big Suey"]
Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar
to the other Dan LeBoutard podcasts.
I'm sorry, I'm not gonna apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants
just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries
if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys?
I've done it.
And now, here's the marching man to nowhere,
fat face, and the habitual liar.
This segment is presented by LinkedIn jobs.
Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash DLS.
Terms and conditions apply.
A potent heat dome is building over the United States sending temperatures into the triple
digits.
There are heat warnings all throughout the Midwest through Thursday.
It's going to be 100 degrees plus. We're all gonna die. We're all gonna die.
We're all gonna die.
The oceans are all burning
and we're all wondering why.
Let's turn on the news
and find out how we're gonna die.
Any number of ways.
David Sampson, nothing personal is here. We will find out if he will
attend an assortment of funerals before the end of this segment. It is a new segment that
is caught on throughout the globe. Everyone's playing it. Sampson is exceptional at it.
Why are you smiling, Billy?
Just because Adam McKay is going to die in like his least satisfactory way possible.
He's going to like slip in the bathtub while he's worrying about all this other stuff killing him.
When I was in Iceland, they told me that there's a glacier
that makes up 9% of the country
that's now projected to melt within the next 100 years.
And when it does,
it's gonna raise the entire sea level by a centimeter.
And what they told us is that all of Florida
goes underwater if it raises four centimeters.
So they said every single coastal town will be wiped up.
That's just 100 years from now.
It's sort of happening now with fires and fire tornadoes and all sorts of flooding
and all sorts of strange places.
Iceland's gonna raise up from the sea.
When we say it's gonna be in 120 meters.
I know, but when you say it's gonna be in 100 years,
there are gonna be gradual apocalypses all over the globe before that.
The volcanoes are gonna be insane when that happens.
Anyway.
I feel exhausting being your guys' brains. Jeez,. I just got told it wasn't my fault.
They just told me. I mean just stop thinking for a second. That's coming from me.
David Sampson, Nothing Personal is the name of the podcast and I think David,
have you gotten it like exactly totally wrong on the A's in Las Vegas? Because I did see a stadium being built
and I did see public financing
and you were very out in front on being loud
about the A's will never play in Las Vegas.
Yeah, I may get that one wrong, but not yet, not yet.
The groundbreaking was done indoors
in a temporary sort of building on the site
because it was a thousand degrees.
When we did Marlins groundbreaking,
we did it outside like men and it was so hot.
It was insane if anyone can remember that.
But groundbreaking is simply performative.
I don't think you've seen a stadium being built in Vegas
because there's tractors,
but there's been no actual building, but it's coming.
And if I'm wrong, I'll admit it,
but not today.
I don't need to admit it today.
Only men know how to go outside.
It's strange, go outside like men.
Why, I think this might be a reference
to the Club World Cup, where Ruchah Dortmund,
on an 84 degree day, were like,
we're keeping the subs in the locker room.
It's too hot out here.
Chelsea's manager has also said,
it's almost impossible to train.
Buddy, you're in Philly.
What are you talking about?
Can you guys get me some information
on what Pablo Torre is reporting, please?
There is some buzz around what he is reporting today
about the NFL on-
What did Belichick do now?
I don't know.
Go ahead.
Damn, this is a good one.
Go ahead, David.
I don't know.
You have information on this?
I'm just getting it now, but I don't know the details.
Is this the Russell Wilson thing?
The collusion?
Yeah, I want to say that how we are operating
on all cylinders at MetalArk without going to Inside
Baseball, Matt Koch and I do a live show every day
from 7 till 8 43.
And the email came in about the show at 7 15.
And the purpose is we're supposed to get some advance
notice so we could work in a topic or two,
talking about it to help PTFO and talk about an NPDES.
And you're saying that you're getting it just now
in the middle of your show.
So how can you comment?
I haven't read one thing, haven't watched one thing.
It never came up, never heard of it.
But I guess he found out that there's a smoking gun
of collusion because Lamar Jackson's microphone didn't work
or that Lamar Jackson is dating Jordan Hudson.
I can't remember which is which,
but something got found out.
I will say this to back up David,
not to get too inside baseball,
but sometimes we get teases
that they're gonna break a big story,
but get no idea what it is so we can't promote it as though they're state secrets that we're gonna break a big story But get no idea what it is
So we can't promote it as though they're state secrets that we're gonna scoop them on
So no one can go listen to their episode where if we knew we could help promote it better
We're not great at promotion around here. So I will tell you for the first time that tomorrow night
We are gonna watch some of us. I don't know which ones you're invited, with Tim Kirchhen from 6 to 10 p.m.
we're going to just be watching baseball games with Tim Kirchhen and an assortment of his friends.
What are you laughing about, Samson? I would love the opportunity to share what it is to watch
baseball with Tim Kirchhen. It's like watching with an encyclopedia and it's just anytime you
can watch a game with a scout or a real member of the media or a former player or manager,
you'll realize that the game of baseball,
it's like a symphony or a ballet.
There's so much going on during the course of a game
that your audience may say,
my God, that sounds like chalk nails a board or something.
I can't remember the expression, but no,
it's gonna be awesome tomorrow night with Tim Kirchner.
Will the old-timey baseball player be there?
Because David Sampson, looking at Greg Cody right now,
would you say that you have ever seen anyone
who looks more like, I don't know,
I'm gonna say Casey Stengel, but maybe Connie Mack
than Greg Cody right now?
He looks to me like he just came off
the set of Field of Dreams.
Thank you. Thank you.
That's what I said earlier. Like Archibald, Moonlight, Graham.
Right, just walked out of a cornfield.
Yep.
Barefooted with those talons.
With those talons.
I've been told we're gonna get you a pedicure here.
That we're gonna get you.
Next week.
Stugats, can you tell me you have twice
cut the toenails off his talon feet?
It was an honor.
One of the toenails was seen by pilgrimage
by thousands of our fans in a glass case. What would you say is the texture of the talon
nail when you cut it with the pliers you were trying to use on his talon? Like a rock? It's
like a thick seashell. It is. It's hard to get the clippers around the nail to actually cut it.
You really got to dig in.
It's a very thick seashell, and it's the consistency of bone.
It would be very hard to break.
Like Stugatz did something.
I broke it.
Stugatz did something Herculean by taking, I'm going to say a hatchet and a mallet, and
getting one of his toenails off
because it is the feet of a demon, no one disputes it,
the pedicurist, whoever that person is,
will run from any room screaming
when she sees him unveil his leathery feet.
His skin is the texture of a catcher's mitt of that era.
You know, there's a scene from Dumb and Dumber
when Harry and Lloyd get a
pedicure and it is from nails that have not been exactly tended to in their
previous lives as just a you know cleaning animals in a moving car
and that pedicure scene is a hilarious scene in a hilarious movie and I'm
picturing the machinery that will be required to get a pedicure because I have suffered a little bit
from that as a runner, my nails are not awesome
and I rip my nails in order to keep them short,
I don't clip them,
because I feel like I have more control by ripping them
and so I'm a nail ripper only on my feet, not my fingers.
You are a man.
That's not, I don't know what that is.
I don't know what he's describing there.
What are you doing?
What do you mean?
Ripping your toenails off?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Stu got you acting now with surprise
after saying it was manly to rip your toenails off.
Well, I was making a joke.
Put it on the Poll Plays at Levitard show.
Is it manly to rip off your toenails at Levitard show?
You're grooming of your feet, this is a,
I would think that you are a very meticulous tool user,
delicate and careful around your feet.
I'm a meticulous, careful toenail ripper.
And so I, I get, you get an edge.
It's all about getting an edge when you're ripping off
and it's different with your pinky nail
versus your big toenail.
It requires different angles in order to start the rip
and you have to start it exactly right
because while running, if your toenails are too short,
it can actually sting.
And if they're too long, it can cause blisters.
So you have to be a perfect ripper
and it took years of practice.
You're not born knowing how to rip toenails
and different angles, but you can learn it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I need to tell all the people,
again, nothing personal.
It is broadcasting excellence every day.
Two hours now, double the David,
this kind of broadcasting eloquent.
Like chalk nails a board or something.
That's nails on a chalkboard.
There it is.
Yeah.
Whatever the saying is.
He's talking too much, and some of those words come out in the right order and some of them
do not.
Like chalk nails a board or something.
Do you have any opinions on Kevin Durant in the Miami Heat?
Greg Cody was not allowed to say anything in the last segment and Greg, get near the
microphone now.
I know you're very comfortable as the old-timey baseball player i went to you a couple times trying to ask you
something about respecting pat riley and never heard a syllable from you so the
floor is yours it was tough to get a word in edgewise i'm thinking of taking
out ad space on your show just so i can say something uh...
uh... any thought that pat riley is too old for the job is ridiculous any
criticism pat riley needn't even mention the fact that he's eighty too old for the job is ridiculous any criticism of pat Riley
Needn't even mention the fact that he's 80 years old. I think his mental acuity is beyond question
I don't think age is a factor at all what I think what I think heat fans should be
Frustrated about is that Kevin Durant was gettable at a price far less than I think anybody imagined
was gettable at a price far less than I think anybody imagined. Houston did not pay a lot to get him. The Heat could have had him if Riley was not unwilling to
give more than he was. That's the frustration. The Heat didn't lose out on
Kevin Durant because they could have had him. They were just unwilling to give a
fair market value for him. That's what's frustrating to me.
So that's a bad job by Riley though.
It is, but it's got nothing to do with age.
So you're criticizing him, but...
Yes, I am, but it has nothing to do with age.
You could be sharp as a tack
and still be out of touch with today's players.
Look, I'm 39 years old
and I see OKC's championship celebration.
I'm wondering what the hell's happened
to the younger generation.
Well, but this is him going in that direction though by by
valuing Kellele Ware more than he does Kevin Durant I disagree with that but
that's what Riley is doing right yeah but Riley disagrees with that he's never
operated this way he hasn't right which is a surprise he's never cared about
draft picks he always wants the big-name veteran and and this was a total
reversal Samson can you hold on for just a second greg cody i would like for
you to look into that camera right there please if you do not mind actually here
look into this camera right here i want to get as much of your face as we can
uh... which camera do you think he should be looking at as uh... that is
what i did one thank you uh... So just give us your hottest take here
as your glasses fog up and as you're
an old timey baseball player.
I love how he looks at the screen where he is.
No, no, don't look at yourself.
Just straight ahead at that camera.
You talk to the audience right there
and you give them your, look, as the guardian
of the Miami Herald and local journalism,
as a man who might defend and protect respect and
gatekeeping of Pat Riley and the end of his career in Miami give us your best
take on fair criticism of Pat Riley and unfair criticism of Pat Riley. I thought
that's what I just spent the last two minutes doing are you asking me to
repeat myself? Yes. Okay yeah he does that a camera. I just did that I just said it's not about Pat Riley's age
Okay, but in Dan forget. I mean jeez in this case
He did not want to give enough to get Kevin Durant, which is a disappointment and a surprise now
To Dan's point what he said yesterday if he goes out and somehow gets Yanis now
Everything is great, and he looks like a genius, but nobody thinks he's gonna
do that, right?
You look like the old man from Up.
That's all I wanted.
I just wanted his glasses to fog up more and more and I didn't care what the words were
that came out of his mouth.
I just wanted the hot air from his breath to clog up his glasses as the take kept getting
hotter.
But David, your thoughts on not getting Durant.
Do you have, on nothing personal, did you have some sort of viewpoint that's
different than other people who are at this trough?
Yeah, I just would tell you that, uh, Pat Riley should be getting thank yous from
his fan base, not any criticism.
Kevin Durant is, you want to talk of him at Gova Rated, Greg, you missed the
opportunity at $50 million in an expiring contract. Durant is not getting you closer to talk about Mcoverrated, Greg, you missed the opportunity. At $50 million in expiring contract,
Grant is not getting you closer to a title.
What he's doing is taking away
any sort of flexibility you may have
and giving false hopes to the players
that he's with thinking that he can be better.
And he can't.
So the reality is that any amount of deal
that Houston gave, I viewed it as an overpay.
You think that they didn't have to give up anything.
Five second round picks, it's not nothing.
There were eight live bodies given for one,
an overpaid guy who has proven that he can go to a team
and bring them right into the crapper.
So Pat Riley as an octogenarian
is actually firing on all cylinders,
although 80 year olds can actually firing on all cylinders, although 80 year olds can't
fire in all cylinders, but most cylinders not being seduced by the name.
Put it on the poll please, Juju.
Can 80 year olds fire?
Can any 80 year olds fire on all cylinders?
So he's taking the hottest of the more extreme takes.
All I have heard is that the Rockets made a good deal getting exactly what it is that
they needed for their team Not just as a veteran
But as a shooter the last three years of Kevin Durant have no precedent in the sport in terms of efficiencies from jump-shooting
You're on the other side of this. I've heard no one. I've heard no one say that's an overspend at one year
They didn't even have to extend him. Did they did they extend him or do they just take the 50 has not been reported yet
It's not even a trade yet folks
Just so we're clear the NBA NBA, nor the Rockets,
nor the Suns announced any trade.
It was breaking news leaked on game seven.
I have not heard anyone saying
what you're presently saying.
You're going the other extreme here
in a way that's aggressive.
I have not heard anyone saying
that Kevin Durant is not someone
who will be additive to the Houston Rockets and is exactly
the kind of thing they need. I'd be far more worried that they're going to get George'd
and that would concern me far more if I am. He's not Paul George, he's an unprecedented scorer.
It's not even that, it's also they're not giving up Shay Gilder's Alexander and the bevy of picks
that were traded for Paul George. Not that Jalen Green is a bad player, but you're moving Dylan Brooks, who's been a journeyman and a defensive-oriented
player. One first-round pick. Those second-round picks are almost more valuable to help you
facilitate other trades down the line for role players that maybe they won't be able
to do. But the benefit, if you're Houston, is you've already built your core around
Shane Goon, around Thompson, these young players who were ascending.
You're viewing Durant as just an upgrade from Jalen Green, which he is as the scorer that
you need down the stretch in games, which was proven during the playoffs.
So for them, it was the right move.
For them it makes sense.
That amount does not.
Yeah, and they're not done.
They have so much more to trade and continue to improve on their roster.
And if Miami... We'll just let it grow. Who's to say if Miami comes up to the table and says, all right, we'll
include Jovich or we'll do the wear deal. Houston still has plenty of assets to be like, okay,
we'll go one up. Yeah. I think you got to wait to see what happens here with all these trades,
because you say there's no SGA in this trade. I don't think you exactly know who's in this trade
because you have to look the way and you can look at with Paul George with the finals this year with Indiana and
with Oklahoma City. There's so many different iterations of trades that happen and it's
not one trade. It's multiple trades over multiple years that bring your team to a place where
they weren't before. And we have to see whether it should be is going to be smart enough to
allow any sort of smart basketball person to do something there.
But they're better off with more bodies, different bodies than with Durant because you saw what
they did with Durant.
They weren't even in the tournament.
So what exactly you say?
It's unprecedented, Dan.
Yeah, you wrote checks to the guy and he didn't play in May.
But offensively, he was an extraordinary and exceptional player still.
Winhorse said on first take yesterday basically that Durant kept rejecting places to play
like Minnesota to lower the price so that Houston could have assets to land another
player down the line.
Their report that he'll take less than the max in the next deal.
They got him cheap on a discount and if I understand the Heat frustration if a pick swaps and
Jovic if that's actually accurate and that's all it would have taken that they
that the Suns weren't enamored with the five second round pick. I think the
overriding frustration here from Heat fans is yet again a player wants to come
here which is hard to do get a superstar to say, I wanna go to Miami.
They haven't always been able to have that player play ball.
Recently they have, especially this player,
multiple times and they just haven't found a way
to get it done when the executive atop the franchise
is the guy historically that gets it done
more than anybody else.
People just wanna change.
I just don't think you ever wanna overpay, Mike.
That's the whole key.
And this is coming from a person
who made a living overpaying and making bad trades.
You really don't wanna do it because you can get gun shy
and you get burned enough times, you stop doing it.
And I think what you're seeing of Pat Riley
is that his MO has changed when he's realized
that those kind of trades can go bad in a hurry.
That right there, you can seize on that
and say, that's not my pat Riley
That's that that's not the scared money don't make money pat Riley's never been afraid to make a move now
He's afraid to overpay
What are we what are we doing that overpay for Kevin Durant a Hall of Famer while you overpay for Terry rosier?
We're scared. We're suffering PTSD from Terry rosier and that's standing in the way
You that's been the excuse for the last three years
and you know where it's gotten Pat Riley?
Ten-C.
Kevin Durant's not a Hall of Fame player today.
Kevin Durant was a Ten-C.
Kevin Durant was a Hall of Fame player 15 years ago.
No, wait a minute.
No, David, he's still-
Finally people coming around on Durant.
David offensively still a top 25 player, David.
Took you so long.
You don't get in the Hall of Fame by being a top 25.
It's a basketball Hall of Fame. He's a Hall of Famer. Don't you misunderstand you don't get in the Hall of Fame by being a top 25 basketball. He's a Hall of
Famer. Don't you miss?
I understand. He's going in the
Hall of Fame, of course, because
it's easy. All right.
But this year, next
year for the Rockets, as a
matter of fact, I predicted on
nothing personal. The Rockets
will not make it out of the
second round.
OK, all right.
We don't need these predictions
that we can check in six months
from now when I see things being built in Vegas
And you're still not conceding that the A's are gonna be in Vegas like it seems like they're building. He doesn't have to right now
You gotta string it out, Dan. He's right still.
He's not wrong yet.
Right to see.
You're being stubborn.
David, in the negotiating room in baseball
or outside in business, did you ever physically intimidate
others to get your way?
Maybe just slap someone across the table,
leave a diamond in someone's forehead, anything like that.
What's the most menacing tactic you use to get your way?
I weigh 133 pounds.
How can I be physically menacing to anybody?
No.
Can you show us your toenails?
So I was thinking about trying to do it.
Here's the problem.
Now I have the ability to do it right now,
except I don't have the flexibility to do it right now
because it would require taking my leg
and I'd have to bring the microphone and somehow.
This is what I would like to see.
Alright, here it is.
I love that tan line.
Look at that tan line. Good God, look at that tan line.
That's the good stuff right there.
That one even has the tan.
Those hips are not doing well.
Did you guys notice the tan around the thong sandals?
Did you notice that?
We all commented on that.
Just wanted to make sure it was clear.
We were late to the party.
Because I didn't really hear it, so we were all talking over each other.
Wanted to make sure the audience understood.
Don't say that out loud.
Audio medium.
Okay, yeah, excellent.
Yep, audio medium.
I don't want to play that yet.
He just wants to be mad at me.
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Don LeBattard.
Baker Mayfield tearing up Tampa Bay 38 for 45.
Stugats.
Shred him.
This is the Don LeBattard Show with the Stugats.
["The New York Times"]
Nothing personal is the name of the podcast
with David Sampson.
He is feuding with Andrew McCutcheon over baseballs and owned.
He got your ass.
Andrew McCutcheon really got your ass.
It seemed like-
Can you admit that you're wrong here?
Let's see what happened here.
So there, Andrew McCutcheon hits you with a rock and he says to David, my source stinks.
What a laughable thing to say
when my source is the commissioner of Major League Baseball
and I have 27 witnesses to back that up.
So stick to your lil channel and do this.
He revealed the source, huh?
Yeah, it's a proud partner.
DraftKings is a proud partner, Major League Baseball.
Bad journalism from McCutcheon just revealing his source
but his source Barry Simpson
So that's actually not at all what happened
so in first of all, I like kutch and it's all good and
Lil channel, I didn't know what that meant. I was thinking little Abner, but but I don't mind that he did this to me
Lil Abner really so Abner, really?
So you're somehow going older than Cody today.
So you think of L-I-'-L,
you go back to Lil Abner, a 1970s cartoon.
That's the first thing I thought of
when he wrote Lil Channel.
I assume that's what he meant.
Is it even 70s?
So I did respond in a private DM. I think it's 60s.
Yeah, way before.
Let's get more context here, David.
You originally, McCutcheon said there's something up
with the baseballs this season,
and you went on a rant saying that he's wrong about that.
He's just making that up?
No, what I said is his source is bad.
I never impugned him personally at all.
I merely said his source was wrong.
So his response was, my source was the commissioner.
Here's the problem, A, unveiling your source,
not really what you're supposed to do,
but B, he's talking about a meeting
before the season started, I promise you,
when he says 27 other people,
he's referring to 26 members of a team
and the commissioner. Wink, wink, there's more than 27 in the room, but I digress.
So in that meeting where Rob goes around and talks to all the different teams, trying to
build relationships with the players, trying to fracture the union in order to get a better
CBA, but I digress, we can talk about that later.
Oh my God.
What was said was that the balls have a standard of deviation when they are handmade.
And I know he said, because he said this to me too.
And within that standard deviation, balls can be different, but the specs of the ball are the same.
They've always been the same, but there's always different balls.
Some seems are higher, some are lower.
Some are just off with the leather. They're handmade. That's always different balls. Some seams are higher, some are lower, some are just off with the leather.
They're handmade.
That's all he said.
He didn't say the balls have been deadened
or the balls have been juiced.
He didn't say any of that.
So I merely said, your source stinks
because you misunderstood your source, but we're good.
Whose balls are juiced?
Lil Abner debuted in nineteen thirty four
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and private text messages from eight nfl owners three-star
quarterbacks lamar jackson kyle and ross a lelson nfl pa leaders powerful
agents and executives and commissioner rodrigo del journalism is dying all over
especially in sports
pablo torrey continues to give keep it alive by snooping around billionaires
and uh... powerful people and their young girlfriends.
You know, Billy-
There's a chance that this episode gets nominated
for a Peabody, and I think that that is the object
of this game when you have this sort of reporting,
and it's a great object, and I assume when we watch PTFO,
which we haven't had time to do
because we were told about it as a company 25 minutes ago, is that we will find that the biggest thing the owners are engaging in, in what
all players and unions are trying to find, is the possibility of collusion.
Was there collusion and not giving guaranteed money passed to Sean Watson for all those
years?
Is there collusion with free agents or with guarantee clauses?
And the answer is, it's not collusion
that is actually provable in a court of law.
There's no settlement coming,
but there certainly are discussions that happen
between teams and between executives
as you're trying to figure out how to navigate
today's waters in terms of guarantee language.
That's about enough of David Sampson.
I think we can all agree.
Thank you.
Look at Billy just came to life back there.
What are you pointing at, Mike?
I got a list of people for the funeral.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, I do want to do that, but I don't know how to segue from that to what David's reviewing
today because he watched a movie that I watched.
And George Clooney did an amazing job on revealing to everybody
what was happening at ohio state that was predatory in a way that ohio state
uh... needs uh...
to be held account for in a way that has some group a great deal of public
shaming around how leadership fails young people just so we're clear the
crew myself so we're keeping David now, we're doing movies
and the funeral game?
Well, this is the, yes, it's crowded here
and I was about to let him go.
They wanna play the funeral game,
but David would like to talk about this movie
because it was powerful.
And David, what was the most interesting?
It's on Macs and it's surviving Ohio State
and I know Penn State has gotten a lot of the attention here
and Nassar has gotten a lot of the attention here,
but this same thing happened over decades at Ohio State
in a way that George Clooney is responsible
for bringing to life, at least in part,
as an act of activism here, correct, David?
Yeah, the story is there was a team doctor
for all the athletes at Ohio State,
and this team doctor took it upon himself
to fondle the male athletes and to examine them
for hernias while his hand was on their genitals
in ways that that's not how you check hernias.
And when they would hurt their elbow or shoulder,
he'd say, yeah, but we got to check for hernia.
And the real thing that you'll learn,
and it's not a spoiler, is the guy,
the doctor who did this, he's dead.
He killed himself.
And to me, he took the easy way out.
I wanted to see him suffer in prison because molesters and pedos don't do well in prison.
And he decided that he would not take that chance.
And this is a story about money.
It's a story about the fact that males can be molested and can be the victims of sexual assault as much as females.
And it doesn't get a lot of attention.
And it's horrifying to be a big, strong wrestler
or a hockey player.
And you find yourself absolutely at the mercy of someone
who takes advantage of you in a way
that you don't even know how to respond to.
There's no outlet.
And the damn coach, including Representative Jim Jordan,
who's still a representative in our legislative branch,
was a part of it as an assistant coach, knew about it,
claims he didn't, which is wrong
and maliciously lying and gaslighting.
And it's a movie that will change how you look at victims
of sexual assault in a way that
is disturbing, upsetting, problematic.
I have not read on about George Clooney and Jim Jordan, but the lack of leadership in
there basically being a pipeline for abuse that is being funneled into a pedophile's office in the, in the waste, who gots that you have
athletes getting injured all the time around wrestling. So you're basically just sending
basically prey to a predator for decades at Ohio State and seeing it laid out this way.
Go ahead. I'm sorry, David, you wanted to say something.
I'm sorry, Dan. I didn't say something. I'm sorry, Dan.
I didn't want the segment to end without telling you about a team doctor that we had with the
Marlins that it turns out was doing unsavory things. A team doctor who examined me. I took
physicals. Now the team doctor in this story would shower with the athletes. Our team doctor
did not do that. He was up in Jupiter. And what he did is he had a bunch of strange things
in the drawers, like handcuffs and various things
that sexual deviants would use,
or people who have a more interesting life than I do.
And it was never used on me.
And when I found out about it after the fact,
I was blown away in that I then was checking
on older players.
Like, did you know about this? Did you see this?
So is there a chance that there are people in Ohio State
who did not know what was going on?
There is, but not the coaches and not the players around it
and the executives at Ohio State
because it was brought to them and they ignored it.
Nothing was ever brought to me during the course of my time
with the Marlins about this stock.
So you volunteered, I'm sorry,
I don't even know what to do with what it is that you just.
Should we be asking more follow ups?
We should, yes.
Well, that's one thing that I would do,
but I also wanna play Would You Attend Their Funeral.
And so I'm kind of-
So you want the joyful music.
I mean, you used to be a journalist. I'm kind of stuck here, yeah, I'm kind of stuck here.
Yeah, I'm kind of stuck.
But I do have follow up questions though.
Do that.
So take me through the details of what handcuffs and what handcuffs and what were in the clubhouse
because I didn't say the clubhouse.
I said the doctor's office in the drawers where I was having my drawers around my ankle.
But they were never used on me.
So none of these-
Okay, well no one assumed it was used on you.
No one-
I did.
I'm just kidding.
The other guy showered?
Wait, but hold on.
That part, you just threw that in there.
That's the other doctor.
There's one question, one direct follow-up
that we should be asking.
Did you have any evidence that this doctor
was making any of your players feel uncomfortable?
No, we had no evidence at all.
We were absolutely shocked.
And that's why I told you, I went back to players on our team and said, by the way,
did this happen with you?
Were you a part of this?
And the answer was no, not one player who was getting physicals or treated by this doctor
ever saw any any manifestation
of these proclivities.
Whereas in Ohio State there were issues all over the place.
How'd you find out about the handcuffs?
Oh, only when it got made public and he got arrested and he got sued.
He was he you get this is Googleable.
I'm not making this story up.
Okay, you can search a doctor and if it with initials that may be DS and you may find this story up. You can search a doctor with initials that may be DS and you may find
this story.
All right. So I don't know the history of this and where the lines are between in the
details between deviance and illegalities. But just to put into context what David was
saying about surviving Ohio State, which what I would recommend to anybody, but it will make you uncomfortable as these things should
so that people can learn about them.
For decades, a doctor with high school boys
who are arriving at a culture of sport where,
okay, these people know what they're doing, right?
It's all about winning.
I need to trust the adults here, right?
This doctor was preying on kids who didn't know, weren't old enough to know how
they're supposed to deal with whatever is normal in the height of college sports that
a doctor showers several times a day with the players even though he's not working out
or doing anything and that's the doctor that everyone except says that's that doctor everyone
knows he's a little weird it's just a fundamental leadership breach
that is an indictment of everyone who was in charge of ohio state where they
put winning ahead of all other things in a way that was really overt and
chronicled well in this now please give me some happy music as palate cleanser
and sorbet so we can get a little lighter on this segment.
Yeah, funerals.
Funerals, lighten it up around here.
The conversations get a lot funnier
when it's just around death
instead of the serious societal stuff.
By the way, Billy Ray Cyrus is dating Elizabeth Hurley.
What?
Who's 60?
Whose balls are June? I don't see what the point of that is. What? Who's 60. Who's balls are June?
I don't see what the point of that is.
What's the point of that?
Why did you do that?
Little tidbit, there was a window,
maybe 10 minutes ago to mention that.
I digress.
Sandy Alderson.
Would you attend Sandy's funeral?
No.
Here's why.
Sandy was, he was with the Mets for a while.
He was with MLB for a while.
He's someone who I thought was pretty good.
Got a lot of credit for doing things,
Hall of Famer in some circles.
But no, even if it were convenient,
I would be sorry,
because it means the passage of time,
but I wouldn't go to the funeral.
Former Marlins utility man, Alfredo Amesiga,
would you attend his funeral?
Wow, Mezzi.
Wow.
If I got a bunch of old players together,
like if I would call up Miggy, who is good friends with him.
You're making it a party, it's a funeral.
I mean.
It feels like his funeral would be a party.
I would only go if it were a reunion.
Some sort of reunion of good teams that we had,
where we could hang out and party and have fun.
I wouldn't go like with my head hung low and wear a tie.
I'm not interested in that part,
but I would definitely go with a bunch of the former guys
and talk about the good times.
Would you go to Miguel Cabrera's funeral
if Alfredo Mezaga invited you?
I wouldn't need an invitation from Meziga
to go to Miggy's funeral.
But just to hang out with the guys, yeah.
Yeah, so I wouldn't need it.
So the reason why I need to hang out
for a Meziga's funeral is he's sort of a fringe funeral.
So I need an incentive.
For Miggy, I don't need any incentive,
though I wouldn't go to Venezuela.
So let me actually say, depending on location for Miggy,
I wouldn't put myself in jeopardy, but I would certainly
go to the funeral in Florida.
New twist on an old classic. Would Miguel Cabrera attend your
funeral?
I believe that he would send a fruit basket.
And you would send it to Detroit.
Let's play Would You attend David's funeral?
Greg, would you?
Oh wow.
If I were invited, I think I might.
Invited?
You decide if you want to go or not.
You gotta be invited to a funeral.
Invited?
No you don't.
Invited.
Wait a minute.
What kind of answer was that?
That's a man who's been slumbering and was not expecting the show to come in David's direction.
I was not, to be honest with you.
Caught off guard.
Yes, I think I would attend.
Are you going to RSVP?
I think I would attend David's funeral.
You're going to get the fish or the chicken.
You got startled by our show right there.
Is it a buffet?
I did.
And then you made it an invitation only funeral.
David, have you actually imagined
who will be at your funeral?
Yeah, I have an actual plan
that I'm gonna do a funeral in Vegas
and have one more big party in Vegas.
I'd like to be buried in a Vegas cemetery.
So when people visit me,
they can visit right off the airport
and then go right to the casino.
Make it easy for them.
We'll go to an A's game before. We'll sprinkle your actual day night double header.
Documentary, ashes in the outfield.
How David seems.
It was wrong and refused to admit it.
By the way, the fruit baskets are better
all than you got the first time.
See you later, David.
Ranks better than Mike Rubello.