The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Squatter, The Active Gigolo, and The Freaky Chef (feat. David Samson)

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

"Do you have any Emmys, Dan?" David Samson is here to discuss the new WNBA Collective Bargaining Agreement. David believes this is a massive win for the owners and calls any other interpretation 'spin,' but after Jeremy and Mike offer counterpoints, it leads Mike to turn to Jeremy off-microphone to say 'I think we bodied him.' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Many promotions are available both in-store and online, though some may vary. Welcome to the big sui. Presented by Draft Kings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Lebitard show is presented. by Draft Kings. Draft Kings. The Crown is yours. Got a number of things to talk to David Sampson about from WNBA to Major League Baseball to Tracy McGready saying that there isn't enough talent in basketball to add expansion teams to baseball making polymarket now more mainstream that it has ever been made by anything reputable in sports.

It's just a great number of subjects to tackle with David Sampson from nothing personal. You can catch his podcast covering terrain that you just never see covered by others. And I keep saying that because it's the truth. There is nobody else in sports doing what David Sampson is doing, where he is covering difficult stuff. Florio tries to do some of it. It's the closest I have seen. Minor penalty, two minutes for boring.

Wow. We got you back, David. Dan, we have to do this to you. Too much. Yeah, I was driving in to the show when David was in studio, and it was excessive, and it was wrong. And the officials are sending a message. We're calling this game tight.

We're not going to allow you to do that to David. You were excessively mean to David, who took the time in a time where it's hard for him to travel to be in studio, and you treated them like crap. So please step out, serve your penalty. We'll get this thing started without. Kindly leave. Kindly leave.

Wow. Really delayed penalty. Kindly leave, please. How do you think Senegal feels? More on that in a moment. Actually, I'd like to talk to you about Senegal. But Dan did have a good setup on the WMBA stuff. What do you have?

Hey, what's up, Mike? First of all, I just want to tell you that it's okay for your team to lose a game, and I understand that they're going to try to goat you to be a different type of owner with that performance under the lights, but don't go changing. You cannot let one result change your process. I appreciate that. I appreciate that, David. And yes, it was a big game and it was an embarrassing look for the ownership group.

But the pressure got to the defending champs is a weird thing to say. I really do want to join the highlight group chat now. I thought about it overnight. And I agree that I could silence it if it becomes too crazy. But the reason I want to get in is the kind of. connection that you must have within your private group chat about these matches and about these guys. Oh, it's so good. It must be so entertaining. And the pressure that you feel as an owner operator, I want to see that pressure because I will feel good about myself by watching you suffer

and basically sore. Because when you run a team, you suffer and you sore. I mean, we kept our best player through all the down times. Yes, but you're right about me. I, I, I live big. So when I'm low, I'm real low. And when I'm a high, I treat myself to that sports hedonism. Can't wait to add you to the group chat. I'm going to do it now. Can't wait for you to discover that one of the taxi squatters is an active jigolo.

Anyways, what do you have on the WMDA? Wait, wait. Well, you'll find out. He's actually in a show with Druski. This is something that I didn't ask for in your live stream. Did they all have other jobs? Yes. And active jigolo, is that a full-time?

job? Are they all full-time jobs like the NFL referees who may get replaced, which is something that we should talk about? Because can you imagine replacement referees? From what I can tell, the jigolo hours seem flexible. And he seems flexible. WMBA, what you got? Let me talk about the WMBA because there is a yarn that is being thread that is so wrong. The players have come out talking about we did it. This was all about business. And we mean, business and they are taking a victory lap on this CBA agreement with Adam Silver and the NBA owners except when you look at what the WNBA owners were offering seven months ago versus what the players agreed to yesterday it's a tiny smidge better but not even close to where

the WNBA owners were willing to go the revenue sharing number stayed well below the 20 range the salary cap growing to 10 million over seven years. Oh my God. An opt out after six years only. The minimum salary, hey, 300 grand. Way to go. I'm happy there's an agreement. Don't get me wrong. But there's nothing I like better than a victory lap done by someone who just got their ass kicked. I get it. I understand you're going to win the PR because people aren't going to focus on it. but Adam Silver and the NBA got exactly the deal they wanted and the timing was fine for them. Like David, so help me understand this because you're saying that they got their ass kicked you. It sounds like you believe that they could have or should have gotten more.

But like I look at the numbers and you mentioned some of the numbers there, it does seem like significant increases. No, but this is why I was telling you guys, though, that this was difficult to talk about yesterday because they did start spinning it in a way that made it sound, David, because they, They lifted the minimum salary in the salary cap. They made it sound like they'd won, but it doesn't account for just how much value the WNBA now has. And you seem giddy. This is the telltale sign, okay, that the owners won.

Samson sounds thrilled. He sounds happy that labor got crushed. Well, getting crushed. I mean, let's not say that $300,000 is a minimum for playing a sport. Is getting crushed. I don't ever want to say that. compared to what they're worth. That's all. It's not, David,

based on how the revenues have increased, they are getting a smaller percentage of revenue than almost all athletes except the UFC that we have in comparably valuable sports. So that's the bottom line. What you just said make sure that people understand it

properly is that when you're talking about as a percentage of revenue, where the WNBA players are, is not in the same zip code. And the reason is that the WNBA is not as profitable or solvent or worth as much as one would think it was based on all the excitement around Caitlin Clark and all the other Angel Reese and everybody else that was happening in women's sports. And I am all in favor of leagues, but you need people to understand where they stand,

where you are in the hierarchy of value. And that happens in companies, in businesses, in sports, in unions. lose track and all I'd been saying and I got criticized for this is that I believe the women, the players had lost track of where they were on the value scale and they were trying to pass way too many levels way too quickly and they were shown that you can't do it. The average salary is projected to be 600 grand minimum salaries 300 grand in 2025 minimum salary was 66 grand and the super max was 249,000. So when you say at that, way everyone could say the players win, except if you were watching the riders strike and the future of AI and everything that was coming next, this does not account for how much money these people

are going to be making in three years, not the players, the owners, because of what, look at David Smile. He knows what just happened here. He knows the players are trying to set it up to look like a win, and they did get a bigger percentage, but they didn't get the percentage of value that this league is going to be worth in three years. Silver and the owners won here. And the biggest thing that I would have looked for was an earlier opt-out because you see players get that in baseball where hey let me get the opt-out because that is always pro player because if you're worth more you opt out if you're worth less you opt in and then you're overpaid an opt-out in a collective bargain deal look what the NFL is doing with their opt-out of the media deals

they're going to CBS for an extra 50% over what they're owed contractually because of this opt out four years from now. When the WNBA players agreed to only an opt out after year six, you are locking it in for six years. And any time you can get a union to lock it, lock in at a deal that you've won for that period of time, that's the point that should be the most despondency for the players, but no one's talking about.

What I thought was the players are going to realize, and fans are going to realize that this was a bad deal in four years, in three years. Like it sounds good now. They're framing it well now, but in three years, they're going to realize, oops. Yeah, if they have good advisors, and that's why it's so important to have a good director of your union, and that's why I spent so much time on today's nothing personal about J.C. Treadder. If you have someone of intelligence and someone who understands business, they're not going to be unhappy in three years, Dan.

They're unhappy this morning. And so what I'm looking for is what was announced was a verbal agreement, and that's it. And now you get to putting it on paper. And there's a good period of time between those two things until we see a signed binding letter agreement, letter of intent, a draft CBA that has been approved. I'm not going to say that this is over. But David, does everything have to come all at once for the players? like, okay, so they got this, this time around. And when the next opt-out comes in six years,

like, then they can try and get to that next step that they believe they deserve. Like, why does everything have to come right now for them? No, that's my point. As it doesn't, you have to be realistic about how it works and how you can go. Listen, we can go back to Kurt Flood and free agency and baseball and say, wow, at some point it's true.

The price is right guy falls over the cliff. but until then you're taking incremental steps until it's too much. It's like New York closet space. There's always room for one more hanger until finally there's not. And so you don't go for everything in a collective bargaining negotiation, but I'm really referring to the victory lap that the players are taking as though they're trying to convince us that we're stupid and that we don't realize what actually happened. It's working, though, David.

It's absolutely, it's absolutely, it's absolutely working. People think the players won and they didn't. Listen, there's only, we can go on the show, we can tell the truth, we can talk about the deal. But at the end of the day, PR is PR and that's why you do PR. You were talking in your first hour about why you would talk about touchable versus untouchable. And Dan, you just have it wrong. The definition of untouchable in sports with players is not the definition of untouchable when your daughter's on a date.

It is just a totally different thing. There is no such thing as an untouchable player, but you call. call them untouchable because you're trying to get more and get more. And that can happen also in negotiations of a CBA. David, is it, is it not fair to at least perceive this as the Dumbia NBA players winning in the short term? Because they did. What's the name of the league?

What did you say? All right, guys, come on. Every time. Let's go. Keep it going. He didn't have to call it the Dumbul U.N.A. after they lost a negotiation. He's got three Emmys.

That's true. I do have three Emmys. Do you have any Emmys, Dan? I do not. I'll be taking that to arbitration. David, when we talk about... Oh, good pun. Really good.

Hey, Roy, buddy. You know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody, altogether, in unison, knows to stand up on their feet? Oh, absolutely, Mike. Yeah, you've been at many big-time sporting events. You know that moment quite well.

That's what it's like when you take your first sip of Cuervo. Oh, delicious. It's the signal that says, we're not checking the time anymore, pal. It's when small talk turns into stories. Quervo, man, it's at high-five, a random stranger effect. That's right. The game is popping.

You're hugging people you never met before. That's the kind of energy that Quervo brings. It's so smooth, so delicious. That's the Quervo effect. Keep it, Quervo. Folks, listen up. Draft King's Sportsbook, the number one sports book for live betting, is built for March. The tournament is unpredictable, but the rewards are guaranteed.

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see sportsbook. Dottings.com slash promos. Limited time offer. Don Lebertard. Go peepa. Go pee pee. This is the Dan Lebetar show with the Stugats. When we talk about the WNBA players

and the way that they raised their salary floor, the way that they raised the max, at least in the short term. And you've talked inausium about being willing to give up comforts, like flights and things like that. This is a league that was relatively suffering in that department. So can we not at least say that they've won in the short term that maybe four or five years from now we're looking at this and saying, oh, wow, how did they agree to that? But the active life today of the WMBA player is in a better place than it was yesterday, no? Yeah, I mean, Brittany Griner doesn't have to go to Russia again. It feels like a big win. Which seems like a win. There's no question. And if you want to talk

about charter versus commercial, you want to talk about housing, which are always funny things to talk about or things like that. But so you can always find things that you believe cause you to feel as though you're victorious. That's how our brain is supposed to work. You're supposed to look for the positive in every situation. But I'm talking about the overall deal. I just call it more pro-management than pro-union. Of course, there's points within a several hundred-page document that an owner would say, I'd rather not have given that. What was the thing that jumped out in the details that you've seen so far reported? Were there any details above all others that you were like, oh, that's interesting. Yeah, it was the opt-out. Because to me, that's everything,

Dan. The opt-out in these deals, it is how long you get labor piece. It is how long before you have to renegotiate. It's how long. you have to sit and wallow in your loss and misery, your economic loss and economic misery. I was very, very surprised if what was reported is true that the only opt-out comes after year six of a seven-year deal. So, David, it makes you crazy when it looks like the players won this negotiation when, in fact, they did not. But do the owners actually care, you know, what people think if they know that they did in fact win?

No, it's just me on the other side now, on the media side. When I was inside baseball, I would try to manipulate PR as much as possible and try to spin as much as possible, but I'd still go to bed the president of the team and wake up the president of the team. It didn't matter. My ID card still works. So at the end of the day, it really doesn't. But of course, you'd rather have positive PR than negative PR, but it doesn't change the underlying economics or the reality of your own situation. Are you made maddened by the fact that you know something and everywhere else you're seeing it reported as different from what you know to be true? What is wrong with that?

I'm watching the coverage of this and it's being framed as rah-rah, and I just don't hear many people saying what you're saying. Well, that's just what we try to do on nothing personal, Dan, and what you've given me the latitude to do, which is to tell you for me, for me. experience what's happening behind the scenes. And then people can get angry or take it as they wanted or appreciate it. And there are people in the industry who know and who listen. And there's people out of the industry who say, oh, I haven't thought of it that way. Let me consider that as I'm evaluating what I'm reading. Really, the object of my show has always been just to give people a different way to look at a set of facts and then make a decision for themselves. But if I may, I do think that there's a little bit of a disconnect here. You're viewing this

from a place of privilege because I, the housing is a big deal. Especially in a league where the salaries aren't that big. It's not easy to live comfortably in this country. And it speaks to a larger disconnect as how the housing crisis continues to get worse for people. Mike, do you get housing as part of your contract? No, but I'm making a salary that affords me a life to have a home that I like. Whereas these WMBA players, many of them are not. And so like housing would be a really, really big deal.

There's people that make really good salaries that can't afford to live comfortably right now. I think David's point, though, is, and please, David, if I've got this wrong, say so. But I think David's point is, because he's always telling you that when baseball was negotiating this stuff, the owners were looking at the big macro stuff and the players were like, we want clubhouse chef amenities. And when you say housing, yes, housing is a stability that people want. But it's not as important as what do you mean they're only getting 20%? of the revenue. Like that the big macro item is this league is going to be making so much TV money

in four years that these contracts are going to look stupid. I understand, but it is important. It's not the luxury of a chef in a clubhouse. It's the stability of a home. And I do think that Yeah, but dollars are fungible, Mike. Dollars are fungible. If you get an increase of 50 grand over the course of a year salary and you allocate all of that if it's post-tax and you can add you know two to three grand a month to your housing allowance to what you can afford to do i i don't think it's the job of the owners of a wmba team to make sure that every one of their employees every one of their players has a place to live or a living situation that's good you have people who come work for baseball teams they live four people in a two-bedroom apartment you have people on

Wall Street who have roommates because New York City is expensive. It's a choice that you make. If you want a bigger house, live further away from a city center. There are just a ton of different ways that people account for the different cost of housing and its choices. The amount of money that you spend for an apartment in New York City or a home in L.A., it's a joke. Go to Montana. You get a damn ranch, but you're in Montana. By the way, beautiful and I'd love to live there, maybe in theory. So I just don't buy into the stepping over dollars to pick up. pennies. I've never liked that as an economic argument. I'll give you a couple of stories. One of them you've probably heard before. Don King just put the suitcase of a million dollars in front

of Muhammad Ali and made him sign away everything for Zaire because players see the one thing. I've talked to basketball owners who were negotiating largely against players who were on the end of the bench. And so they were kind. Chris Paul ended up taking some of that over, but they they were giving everything that the players on the end of the bench wanted because they were looking at the macro and what David's telling you here is any player in the NBA or WNBA is going to want the stability of a home. But the macro is revenue. The owners care about what percentage of the revenue do you get and they're at UFC levels. Like the WNBA used all the leverage that they had over the last few years to get a percentage that is among the most abhorrent you will see

in sports. These are very rich people, right? So, they can be looking at it from a standpoint of, oh, I'm trying to maximize every value of a dollar for the long term, but you're looking at people in this league in particular. We're not talking about Major League Baseball or the NBA, where salaries have already increased to a place where everyone should be able to live comfortably and live their life. The difference between making $120,000 a year and $600,000 a year is a massive difference, particularly in modern America. Being able to set people up with housing. Look, if you're going to create your own

little socialist collective as a group of owners where you could suppress salary, at least providing housing like the promise of socialism would do, is a nice little benefit so that they don't have to worry about it. Mike has a video of Drewski. Who the fuck the freaky chocolate downstairs? I've never seen chefs

so shiny. See, I come from a different generation. I know about Chef Boyardee and Chef Al Green and shit. I don't know nothing about no freaky chef. Who the fuck is these freaking Jamaican ninja turtles. The Jamaican Ninja Turtle is one of the taxi squatters. There you go, put that still up of them right there.

Gigolo. You guys said the Gigolo. Drewski said freaky chef, though. Yeah, he's in better shape than Manu. I'll give him that. You said he's physically flexible. You said his hours are flexible. I did not know that jigilos were still a thing.

Go ahead, David. You were going to say what to what Jeremy was saying. I just enjoy hearing it because he's talking exactly the way we want players to talk when I was in management that's what you want you want you want them to have the view and by the way there's so many people Jeremy making $60,000 a year and they figure out housing it's it's tough it's definitely tough but the difference between 120 and 600,000 for people making 60 70 grand it doesn't much matter and so from the WMBA standpoint if you can give increase their minimum from 60 grand to 300 grand and you get to give them what they call

call a victory lap while you are making sure that you have completely won on the revenue side and on capturing all of your franchise value, then what's the difference? That's the beauty of this agreement. We've talked here for 25 minutes about this. Just do me the favor, Jeremy, of looking up the following. What percentage of revenue do football players get, baseball players get, and hockey get? Get me those percentages. And what, did you feel like you had? Because they're saying 20%? You said it wasn't quite 20%. Do you feel like you have an accurate appraisal of what percentage

of revenue the WNBA players are going to get? I can't wait to see it, but I think they said what I read when it was released by Shams and not by Alexa, which was a whole another ball of crap, but it looks to me like it's approaching 20, not to exceed

20. You got to wait for the language. You've got to see what's actually there, and then you have to see how it's calculated. So you can't just read the big top long. there's going to be 10 pages of definitions of what revenue is or what revenue gets to be held back by the NBA and doesn't even count toward what's shared with the players. The devil is always in the details and that's what takes so long to negotiate. David, I'm glad you brought up the Shams thing because I don't know if everybody understands, I guess, the controversy here. I did think it was, it stood out to me yesterday when it was Shams Sharania who was releasing all of the details of this.

new agreement with the WMBA. And it's like, I don't even know Shams knows what's going on with the WMBA. You know, he's only reporting NBA. And people are, like, I guess the reporters who have been covering not just the WMBA, but these labor negotiations, they're angry, right? Yeah, well, they were sitting around all night as the negotiations went deep into the night, like six or seven days straight. And it's the same company.

That's the whole thing. It's Shams and it's Alexa. And they're trying to figure out who gets what. here's the problem. Shams's platform is way bigger and he is way more well known. It's why they had talked about making some of the insiders for the NFL also insiders for other sports because what's the difference? You're just fed the information. You're told what to say and then you just tweet it out what it is and that is not sort of interesting to me. What's interesting is how a big company decides what makes sense for who to get when. Shams is not camping out in front of the hotel as an

negotiations are going on until three in the morning, waiting for the commissioner to give three words on the way to room service or waiting for the head of the players union to give six words on the way to wherever it is that she or he are going. So Shams, of course, is, you know, in bed sleeping tightly and then gets to release it. But it makes sense just because he's that much bigger as a platform. Don Lebertard. I went in the margins. I'm like, I'm like, you're money ball of sex. I'm basically Scott Hatterber. A lot of wits.

Stugats. A lot of walks, but I'm on base. When it comes to sex, a lot of Fowtips. Other dudes, they can be Gionbi. You know your role you play well? I know my role. This is the Don Lebatar show with a Stugats.

Jeremy, what are those numbers that you were looking up, please? All of them are hovering right around 50%. So MLB is, I believe, at 47% most recently, David. And then... Yeah, it changes, but it's always around that. You got to keep it 50 or below. So, Joe. just to put a bow on this so you guys understand what happened here, okay?

You don't have that many teams in the WNBA. You don't have that many players to house. The difference between the partnerships in the other leagues that are close to 50-50 and 80-20 when this is multi-billion dollar leagues we're talking about, wait until you see what these WNBA franchises start going for. David's laughing about the idea of you could have had a mansion. You settled for a dorm. You could have, you settled for a dorm, you said you had leverage.

I had nothing. Thanks for the dorm. Yeah, like, okay, you can have the other side. You can have the top line. That's how I see it. And this is progress, all right? These are steps. They had nothing.

They got the dorm. Next round, they go for the mansion. That's what I'm saying. What is so hard to understand? It's a young league. Like, that's the space they're in. And yes, like, the owners are going to be feeling, hey, this is a victory lab for us. We haven't had to give up the mansion yet.

But what the WMBA players are doing is saying, hey, we want to lift the floor of our league. They're not even, yes, they're focused on the top end of their players, but that max contract, obviously, could have been a bit higher. The revenue sharing could have been higher. But what they're trying to do is just provide economic stability in the United States for the players that are in their league, and now they don't have to go play overseas in the same way. And if they play an unrivaled and they are the stars and they can get marketing deals, those players will reap the benefits of their star increasing.

but right now they were just trying to take care of the bottom of the rack. That is a really good analysis, Jeremy, except that's not at all what the union has been saying this entire time. Their position is that they wanted to have. I think there was a quote, we want to get what's ours. Yeah, but that's A-Chane is not available. That's a negotiation tactic.

Yes, you shoot for the moon, and you know damn well what you and your labor force is willing to accept. How am I explaining negotiating to David Samson? We're actually talking about the victory lapse and about what the reality is of the deal. That spin, baby. I got to explain PR to you too? Thank you. That doesn't seem like a sincere thank you.

I'm sorry for being mean, especially considering. No, you're not being mean. I'll serve a penalty. I'm sorry. No. Disagreeing with someone is not being mean. It's having a conversation. I'm always wanting to learn and have a conversation. But what you're saying, what you're saying is that the union itself knew from the start that they wanted the dorm.

And that's not accurate. Did they settle for the dorm? Yes, because that's all they were ever going to get. And the process that you're talking about that you first need the dorm in order to get the three bedroom in order to get the six bedroom and then the mansion, that is bargaining. That is true. but it's not supposed to take that long in a league that has seen franchise appreciation and expansion fees excel in a way that we never could have anticipated. That was my only point.

What is your issue with Zaz and all the things he has wrong about the Dolphins fire sale? Zaz, I didn't get a chance because Dan did not allow it when I was in studio, but I saw the math yesterday and I couldn't believe the amount of dead cap money that they have. And I wanted to explain what dead cap money is because I must have it wrong. There's a salary cap of $301 million in football. But if you have dead cap space of 175, meaning you're paying money to players not to play for you, it's my understanding that on the field will then be $126 million. Yeah.

So, or $200. Yeah, 175 and $126 is 301. Is that correct? Yeah. So do you not view it when you're looking at? at fire sales, are you not looking at the amount of money that's on the field or are you looking at total money spent? I'm looking at total money spent.

Like, for instance, the Marlins, and you guys did it once. Certainly Wayne Hisinga did it back after 1997. Fire sale to me is trying to change your finances so your payroll is lower. The Dolphins payroll is not going to be any lower. So do you not count the $10 million that the Marlins are paying Jean-Carlose Stanton this year? as money for the Marlins payroll? No, yeah, I do. Yeah. Wait, that's funny. Wait a minute.

I'd forgotten all about that. Jean-Carlose Stanton is being paid by the Marlins this year? Oh, yeah. Yeah, last year, this year, next year, $10 million a year. But it's still an incredibly, it's still a very low payroll that the Marlins have. But yeah, we can include that. So if you're always, so then why can't you go back and include an 06 the money that we had to pay the Mets to pay Carlos Delgado? I just want consistency is all I'm saying.

Yeah, but the dolphins have to eat it this year on that. but they're creating more space in the future. Like in the next couple years, they're hurting themselves this year. They had all the two of stuff, like they're a bunch of dead money, but it makes their next couple years better. Well, I guess it all depends.

You say that, but then you have to get the players and you have to do the signings and all baseball teams that are rebuilding or bringing their payroll down in order to bring it up when they think it's the right time. That's just what sports is in pretty much every market,

but L.A., with the Dodgers. where it doesn't matter, you're always going to be at an up. Even the Braves had that in the 90s and then a little down and then up. That's the life, that's the cycle. I just wanted Zaz to acknowledge that the light, the dolphin cycle, it is the same. It looks the same, feels the same, smells the same as what you call a fire sale. And for me, I don't refer to any of these things as fire sales.

Dan, was that our face over a penis in that Drusky video? No, freaky chocolate downstairs. I've never seen chef so shiny. See, I come from a different generation. I know about Chef Boyardee and Chef Al Green and shit. I don't know nothing about no freaky chef. Who the fuck is these freaking Jamaican Ninja Turtles?

I think it was. What's the movie you're reviewing for us this week, David? This hurts me. This hurts me. But I watched Adnan's number one movie of the year. No Oscar nominations. Nothing like that. But in his top 10, he had Mr. Squirrel

I can't. First of all, you bleeped out the wrong stuff, or at least not enough of the stuff. There wasn't, anyway, that was outstanding. For the audio audience, it's just porn. So, Mr. Scorsese seems like she's going to eat it and then swallow it. I would assume we can ask people in the business, but I assume that's not how it works. There is no eating and swallowing. It is eating and spitting up, I assume. So Mr. Scorsese, five-part documentary Apple TV. Adnan, I was wrong. It was a documentary that I wish had lasted 10 parts.

I learned about his life and what went on with his movies and how he made them in a way that I never did. The way that he narrated each of the five parts. And I believe the director is Daniel Day Lewis's wife, Rebecca Miller, the daughter of playwright Arthur Miller. Don't have that confirmed, but you can check it, Coker. And I thought it was the best documentary. I had seen all year, and I had just reviewed the Oscar documentaries.

So Adnan, thank you for making me watch it. Do I think that your top 10 lists are still ridiculous because they're all Scorsese-based no matter what? And therefore, you lose credibility. I do. But in this case, Mr. Scorsese on Apple TV is a must watch for everybody. He is David Samson. His podcast is nothing personal.

And as I mentioned, it is excellent. If you want to challenge me or recommend to me or anyone else, someone who you think is doing what David Sampson is doing on the sports landscape. I'm willing to listen and I'm willing to entertain nominees, but I have not seen what David is doing with the kind of legal and business expertise that he's doing it with from anybody in sports media. Thank you, David. Appreciate the time.

Thank you. I cannot believe that I have not gotten to this story of what it is that happened to me yesterday. I think you guys are going to be both amused and appalled, and I think you guys should help me tell me how I should feel about what I'm about to say, okay? This is how I spent my day yesterday sort of realizing over the last couple of weeks, like you're watching usual suspects and Kaiser Sozee, and everything comes together at the end where you're like, oh, that's why that was happening. So for a few years, my wife and I have been working on building a house trying to get a house built,

and we've been using it as an Airbnb in the interim, okay? And we're in and out of using the house and others are using the house. And a couple of times after someone hasn't stayed there, I've been like, oh, some things have been moved. I don't understand why that's over there. Who did that? I'll call somebody. Did somebody do this? Don't understand it.

Got some mail one day and I'm looking through the mail, and there are a couple of things in there that are the correct address but are not my name. And I'm like, what is this? This isn't here. I throw it out. Yesterday, Elise calls me, my assistant, and says, do you guys know why the room upstairs is locked? You have a squatter?

And we're like, the room upstairs is locked. Why would it be locked? Is there someone in there? And she's like, no, there's not anyone in there. But what do you mean? It's locked. So it's locked from the inside, but there's no one in there? Yeah, there's no one in there.

And it's also a room, by the way, that is totally empty. Like, it's a room that has no furniture. in it and it's locked so we don't know. So we go to start figuring it out and trying to figure it out and we open the door and break in. There's a bed and a television hung in there that's not ours. I had also spotted

a few days earlier. I'd open a drawer and there were a bunch of doorknobs in there. And I'm like why are there doorknobs in there? That squatter was preparing to fully occupy my house to have everything in there, his doorknobs

so that when I got there, and said it's my house. He could spend months there litigating for free that arguing with me over whether it's my house or his, he was this close to changing all of the locks in my house and was living in my house. There was a full television where he had been living in the interim and the house isn't empty for all that long. So it's weird how quickly he got in there and how quickly he was about to, did you guys see the movie Pacific Heights with, I think it's Michael Keaton? It's like a 90s movie. where a squatter takes advantage of the legal system,

but that squatter was welcomed into the house at one. No. No, I didn't see it. I gathered as much, which is why I just kept talking. I could see from the blank look on your faces. The no was understood. Pacific what now? It was totally redundant by the time you guys said it.

I could tell, by the way you were all. Matthew Modine. It wasn't just the silence. It was the blank stairs on all of your faces. It was why I ran right through it and just kept gallivantic. That was with like the robots, Pacific Rim, right? That's a totally different movie. Kaiju.

Gazintai. What'd you call me? Oh my God. Can you guys tell me how I'm supposed to feel about this? Because... Terrified? It felt... Angry?

Like a violation. I'm angry for you, man. That is so bothersome. Like, squatters rights. It doesn't even make sense. There's nothing you could do about it. How do you prevent that person from coming back now? He was going...

Well, he's in jail. No, we had him arrested. That quick? Yeah. It usually never happens. Where'd you find the person? Because the room was empty. You said the room was empty.

No, he wasn't there. And then the cops waited. Later that night, they waited for somebody to show up who ended up showing up later that night. It was coming through a window. Because if he was in your house, they would not have been able to arrest it. That's correct. No, we got there. I'm telling you, I got, I should have figured it out with the doorknops.

I couldn't figure out why they're. I'm like, whose doorknobbs are these? Why are there doorknobs in this drawer? Where did these come from? But there was somebody who was sneaking in and out of the house around when we were there. Like was able to do it. I'm rarely upstairs. I would have no reason to go upstairs.

The mail didn't clue me. The doorknobs didn't clue me. And the way that we got him arrested last night is the cop was just waiting for him to get there. And evidently, he pulled up in front of the cop and started saying, yeah, this is my house. This is my house. Was there an upside-down pineapple on the door? I always take that with me before I leave because I don't want any. to know that I like that.

Was it under? He is in between places.