The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Uber Ratings Reveal (feat. Lucy Rohden)

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

"Put me next to you at your darkest moment, Mr. Uber Driver." The entire crew reveals their Uber ratings: Does anyone have a perfect rating? Who has the worst? Who will make The Dot Nine Crew™? What would Kon, Kager, Kinston, Kash, Kid, and the rest of The Flying Knueppel's ratings be? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Proximo, Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly. Cuervo! that invented tequila. proximo, queervo.com, please drink responsibly. Queervo. Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not gonna apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants

just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now here's the marching band to nowhere, Fat Face and the Habitual Liar. We back and we are joined by the great Lucy Rodin. What's up, Luce?

How are you? Hey, I'm sad I'm not there. I know. Last time we were here. I'm so happy you're in Miami. It was so much fun. You never said that before, Lucy. I know. It's just crazy. That was a great opportunity to play Look At Me Lucy.

Oh, why was it? That was a great opportunity, was it not? No. No. Do you not know how... I know what the meaning of it is, but still I'm like, off of the last conversation that we had about Look At Me Everything, no?

She's gotta brag about something. Yeah. Can't force it. He knows, get off my back. Can you explain the show to him? Sorry. I just talked about. This is my first day, Lucy.

It's good to see you. Hi Lucy. Hi. You've been enjoying the tournament this year? The tournaments, I guess. Yes, question mark. Why the question mark? It's, I think we've gotten like decent basketball

and that's all you can want out of a tournament. But obviously there's a little, there's a little like bummy vibe when you're like, oh, okay, here we are all one season, the final four, no mid majors in the sweet 16 or lead eight for the men. And you're just like, well, this is okay. So I had this argument earlier in the week about people talking about how they want the Cinderella.

So what's the point? Why do you want the Cinderella? Because of the story or, ah man, Charlie's gonna chime in. This is the worst take that Dominique has. Shut your trap, shut your trap. Oh, it's no fun when a Cinderella makes the final four. I just wanna see absolute shock.

We're gonna have one seed blowing out, two seeds the Elite Eight, because then they're better teams. If you guys don't listen to the Dominique Foxer show, you'll know that Charlie sets these traps for me, where he completely mischaracterizes what I say and think that I'm just going to walk into it, but I'm not going to do that.

So Lucy, how are you Lucy? So the Cinderella's, what about the Cinderella's do you miss? I don't know. It's just fun. Like we haven't really had every year. Lucy. So the the Cinderella's. What about the Cinderella's do you miss? I don't know. It's just fun. Like we haven't really had every year. There's sort of a white boy of March where it's some mid major school that has this like insane white guy who just shoots like crazy that the whole country falls in love with. He gets a NIL deal with Buffalo Wild Wings or a similar company. Then they lose in the Sweet 16 by a lot to a much better team, and you're like, man,

that was awesome. Remember Dylan. That made me feel something. I sat behind Doug Eater at the Duke game, and I was like, I forgot how great this made me feel. It's just like, oh, okay, we have to root for the guys that you have everything. Look at Lucy.

There it is. That works. My problem is I can tell the future. Yeah, I see. And I knew the brag was coming. So I guess Cooper Flag, when you say a white boy, you're not talking about actually a boy who's white. It's a different.

No, it can't be a white boy that we already know about. It has to be an unknown white boy. A white boy that appeared out of nowhere. Yeah, we knew about Cooper Black. No, no, no, no, because I believe in underdog Duke. No. He can't go to Duke. His name can't be Cooper.

Yeah. Because Cooper is the white Jalen. If a black athlete is named Jalen, you know he's good. You know he's nice. You know he's the best on the team. And it's now the Cooper is the white guy version of that. So if it's a Cooper, it'slen, you know he's good. You know he's nice. You know he's the best on the team. And it's now the Cooper is the white guy version of that. So if it's the Cooper, it's like, no, that's not. And that doesn't apply to the name Con.

Also, oh, speaking of which, when I was watching that last game, I had to look up Con Caniple just to check the middle name. I had to check the middle name. Do you know his siblings' names? No. They're like, he's one of the themed families where all the siblings have a weird name that starts with K So it's like con Kane

I'm just making them up Is there three siblings I think there's five I think they're like we got a we got to get these numbers up So there was there was three at one at one point. There was three. Hold on. There was three one is Dad and uncles nice. We're a three on three basketball team the flying canipples the flying canipple brothers. That's incredible That rolls. Yeah, Chris. You look surprised that I have to vet impressive here Might be a crowd source, I don't know. The Flying Canipples. Yeah, that was their nickname.

How'd you know it? You said it before he did. Everybody knew about the Flying Canipples. They were one of the best teams, urban legend in the three-on-three community. Everyone loves the Flying Canipples, and if you want to go see them play, that's a great reason for a trip,

that you can book with Priceline. Are you dreaming about that trip? Book it trip, that you can book with Priceline. Are you dreaming about that trip? Book it and go to your happy price with Priceline to see the flying canipples. Way to sell, Lucy. Thank you. Everybody clap. That was when you talk again.

She did a thing and now you go back to doing it. Everybody clap. So when she does that, she's done. And then you come in with the continuation of the conversation. Wait, hang on the conversation versus kicking it back to her to double down on Priceline. According to Sporting News, the Flying Caniple brothers were Con, Clint, Clay, and Cole,

but his brothers are Kager, Kinston, Cash, and Kidman. This is stupid. Wow. Yeah, that's crazy. What's stupid about it, Roy? It's just dumb, I'm sorry. No? No, it's dumb. The theme is stupid, I's crazy. What's stupid about it, Roy? It's just dumb. I'm sorry. No?

No, it's dumb. The theme is stupid. I'm sorry. We're not doing this. How do we? Too many Ks? Way too many Ks. Way too many Ks.

How do we feel generally about naming conventions for like, my brother, Scott, his name starts with a D. So like, is that okay? If it's two, it's just me and him, and we both start with D, is that okay? What about people? Yeah, if it's just two. What about, I'm going into some scary territory right now because I know that Hawk has twins.

Yeah, yeah. What about when you have twins, and they have like rhyming names? Did you go rhyming names with twins? They don't rhyme. Okay. They are both A-U's, Autumn and Aubrey. So it's very close.

I feel like with twins though, I'll allow it. Yeah? Yeah, with twins I'll allow it, because they got here at the same time, which you won't be coming with two names? Yeah, my son's name is also Austin. Is that a little much? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now we're reaching the quarter now. You're going for something. Yeah. And your name? Andrew. Yeah, and their mother's name. I didn't want to come out and say this, but I am a part of the Knipple family, basically.

Because all of my siblings are A's, and all of their kids are A's. Wow. And I can't even name them all, because I would have to sit here and think about it. But it's Artrell, Alicia, Anika, Avery, Andrew, our kids are Aubrey, Autumn, Austin, Azrae, Attalia, Arya, Aneas, Asiana.

That's impressive, man. And it goes on. And my mom's name is Aletha, my dad's name is Artrell. So there's literally like four generations of every A name you can imagine. It can only be in the DMX voice from here on out. Yeah. Lucy, you have a brother, right?

I do. Just one brother? Jack. I have a brother and a sister, Jack and Kate. All right, so right down the middle there, Lucy. Lucy, Jack, Kate. And we're all four letters. Those are the kind ofpples by the way.

Because my mom said our last name was so ugly. They're all gonna go to Duke. Oh no. Everyone, get used to them. Look at all those Knipples. They're the plum weights now. The problem with making Con Knipple or trying to make him the white,

the white boy of the tournament is not just that he goes to Duke, is that the white boy of the tournament has to go professional in something he goes to Duke, is that the white boy of the tournament has to go professional in something else. Like, Conker Nibble's gonna play in the NBA. You cannot, he has to, you have to see him later in life in a polo and slacks and be like, that name sounds familiar.

This guy tried to sell me some insurance. Oh yeah, you hit six threes in 1996. Yep, yep, I agree. You have to, yes, you have to go that NCAA commercial where it says most of the NCAA athletes will go professional in something else. It has to fit that bucket. Otherwise, you're just another great white guy

from college basketball that goes and plays in the NBA 15 years. It should be in something else. In something else. It just peters out right there. It's something other than sports You know in something and something they'll give them some time not everybody knows in college Remember Jack look figure it out He played in the G white white boy the G league now. He's got averaging like three points a game

Lucy what am I to do with the SEC narrative? Especially when 25% of the ACC teams made the final four on the men's side. Oh gosh. There was someone at the Duke Alabama game that was screaming behind us the whole time of like, you mighty SEC, you don't know what you faced. Obviously the SEC is, they were the best team at our conference in college basketball this year and the ACC has asked. Like it's just objective and they're just kind of entirely banking on Duke being a good program. I love sort of the theory of the ACC

combining with the Big East. I don't know how valid that is, but I think that's something interesting to look at in the future. But that's something that's been happening. There have been real conversations there. It does make sense for basketball, no doubt. The Big East.

They need it, just, they're so bad. The Big East, I know the NIL, there are like new rules coming to NIL with revenue share coming up pretty soon. There's an article I read recently that talked about how the future of basketball in college could be heavily tilted towards the Big East because they do not have football teams.

And so when the revenue share situation comes, each school is going to have about $20 million to split amongst all of their sports. So in football, it's normally going to be like 80%, 75% to 80% towards football because the revenue generating sport in most major schools, and then the rest will be divvied up amongst basketball and the rest of the sports. But the Big East teams, they don't have major football programs, so they're projected to be spending six, seven, eight million dollars on their roster per Big East team against the rest of college basketball that will be spending four or five or maybe six million dollars. So we could be looking at a future where the Big East is like the basketball

conference and then the rest of these teams are essentially relegated to being like trying to be spoilers or Cinderella's. No, I think that's absolutely fair and I see why the ACC is kind of trying to capitalize on that right now because the ACC has been the premier basketball conference. That is what the ACC is known as and that has not been the case the last few years. The SEC has completely taken over. The Big 12 has taken over. The ACC just isn't competing the same. Obviously you can kind of play that into the fact that Roy Williams isn't there anymore and I know Duke's been very good this year but there was

you know concerns about Coach K being gone. But when you look at the ACC right now and just where they stand, where they've just redid their entire revenue model based off of what Clemson and Florida State wanted with football, just because they're in a weird spot where no one seems to be particularly happy, it seems like a good idea to attach another way for teams to make more money for the ACC to be more competitive because right now they're just falling behind and they're grateful that Cooper Flack decided to go to Duke because that's the entire savior of their conference.

Had Cooper Flack not gone to Duke, had they not been a good team, what would have their tournament appearance been? Clemson losing to McNeese State. Like that was it. The ACC is not a good conference, but if the ACC decides to join the Big East, we'll have some great basketball games.

And do you know where you should get tickets for those hypothetical basketball games? You should get them for game time. Download the game time app and redeem code Lucy for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Now you go. Again.

Look at Lucy. That's an undercover great Lucy. Two for two. Use code Lucy. You cooking Lucy. I're cooking, Lucy. I had something to say, but it hot threw me off. You're doing really great, man. You're crushing it, though.

You're doing really great. It feels good. So I got good news for you. Where is this going? No, I got good news for you, Mike. Oh, for me? Yeah, for you. So the article I was talking about, they're going to introduce a Deloitte run clearing house for NIL deals

now. Yeah, that's not great, but it's going to turn out to be good news for you, Mike. So the clearing house is going to make sure that all of the NIL deals are above board and actually deals for name, image and liken likeness not just ways to funnel money to players and so this article I was reading was talking about how the salary cap essentially the revenue sharing and the the renewed strictness on the NIL deal is going to create a situation where Get excited Mike. We might be going back to under the table deals Miami's back the you is back we've been doing just fine with the rules yes yeah doing better with the end of the table I just I've had a huge issue with it try to

undermine NIL and lost over two dozen court cases fighting NIL, all of a sudden just having full autonomy over NIL. It doesn't seem right. Mike, get your ass under the table where Miami belongs. Y'all love it under the table. Taylor's there. Come on, Mike. Glory days, bring her back. I don't think a clearing house may necessarily bring

a fair market for the athletes. And also I'm a little confused I understand why everybody is marching forward with rev share. There is still things pending This the Supreme Court will probably rule on this and look there's few things bring both sides together quite like a mutual hatred for the NCAA they do have While everyone is just pushing forward as if this is going to be a certainty, there have been Supreme Court justices

that have been on the record anti-NCAA. So it's not the slam dunk that they think it is. I'm kind of confused how the whole machine just keeps moving forward as if this is a foregone conclusion. Probably is moving because they feel like they have it. And that's why they brought in a politician to oversee the entire thing,

but the entire thing makes me feel really bad. And there's so many things going on that people are just gonna ignore it. And I think a lot of, a free market is going to get squashed in this. I just, and I don't see how they actually have the time to get to everything. They're going to completely create a new template

inside of a couple of months before football season and think it's gonna get messy. It's not over. It's gonna change a number of times in the next few years before we get to some sort of steady state. Combining amateurism with business is never going to work as smoothly as they want. But I think the peak college sport right now

is women's basketball. We didn't talk much about that, in part because Juju's out. But I do wanna wonder if the South Carolina's close games against great teams like Maryland and other teams, should we be concerned about South Carolina going up? I guess UCLA was the favorite going

into the tournament though, right? Yeah, so it was kind of a choose between South Carolina or UCLA for the favorite going to the tournament though, right? Yeah So it was a kind of a choose between South Carolina or UCLA for the number one overall seed and UCLA does have a head-to-head win over South Carolina I personally thought South Carolina should have gotten the number one overall seed But the way South Carolina has played in this tournament hasn't necessarily helped that case So South Carolina beat Duke yesterday 54-50 they had almost as many Turnovers as baskets in this game.

Like it was not a stereotypical South Carolina win. They had a similar style of game against Maryland the week before where they're eking out these close wins. They were down at half to Maryland. And then in the round of 32, the same thing happened with Indiana. They were down at half again. It was the first time and I can't tell you how long that South Carolina had trailed at halftime for multiple games within the tournament. Obviously doesn't matter though. They're advancing to their fifth straight Final Four.

It's one of those things where like you can look at this South Carolina team the way you probably haven't been able to the last few years and it's very obvious they have some clearing weaknesses that are very beatable. However, watching any of those games I was hoping for an upset because it'd be fun but the entire time I knew South Carolina is going to win. Don Staley, like South Carolina, they have a tendency to squeak out these close games whenever they're playing in them which they don't haven't been doing much over the last few years but this is a team that got their ass kicked against UConn and has been

pretty much unstoppable since got to the tournament and now has been playing with their food a little bit. I think with Juju getting hurt, obviously that opens up some, some area for South Carolina. It's probably going to be a South Carolina UConn final four. Obviously UCLA has looked really good. I think they looked great against LSU and I think the key to how good they looked against LSU was that Lauren Betts was in foul trouble and someone else stepped up and that's what UCLA needs. I can't tell you how many times I've turned on a UCLA game and you

see the little stat in the corner that's like Lauren Betts, her stat line, rest of team and they're always the same. So I just think that even though they've been messing around it's South Carolina and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna doubt South Carolina. They are a great basketball team. They're just playing kind of ugly right now, but who cares if you win? Yeah, I think Duke plays that style of basketball where it's defense heavy.

They're going to force you to turn the ball over and they're really going to limit your ability to make shots. And half of the South Carolina team is really young. Like it's a very like mixed age group right now. And a lot of the players that were on the team last year, primarily Camila Cardoso, who is a WMA lottery pick, she's gone.

So they're trying to fill in with a couple players that are a little bit younger. But if Texas or TCU wins tonight, I think South Carolina's gonna be favored over either one of them. They just beat Texas two weeks ago in the SEC Championship and completely destroyed them. So I think that if you're unfamiliar

with the style of play of Duke women's basketball, that's sort of the kind of game that you expect. They try to give themselves a chance by keeping it in there with defense and having these super low-scoring rock fight games, but South Carolina ultimately is just the better team. So they won.

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The Boost Mobile network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the US population. 5G speeds not available in all areas. Don LeBretard! I just texted my best friend Hannah and asked her who she thinks is gonna win tonight And she has never watched a hockey game and this entire season. She's picking the Rangers and she's an astrophysicist She's real smart. I'll text Joey Dan You know what I found out about Hannah today an anagram still gots you said Anna or Hannah Hannah, okay? I don't know Anna to depending on how you spell it

Film there's two ends. It's also an anagram same with one in Anna Anagrams are fun. Hannah's are a Hannah Graham. This is the done libertar show with this two guards Lucy do me a favor you got your phone near you. Yes Kind of question oh Nice phone case. Isn't that cute? It is very cute. Where'd you find it? Case to find.

No free. Oh, okay. It was, I mean, I think stories behind where you find things are normally more interesting than I just bought it, but that's fine. Yeah, I just bought it. So go to your Uber and find your Uber rating while you're doing that. Charlie, I also contacted Pablo, Dan, and David Sampson to get their Uber rating, so Charlie,

please run down the list of ranking who you think has the highest to worst Uber rating. Hold on, Lucy, don't tell us yours yet. But Charlie, you have it, you ready? All right, Charlie, run them down. I'm starting at the top, highest to lowest. Okay, so. This is a better reveal.

Number one, okay. I'm going Hawk. Ooh. Football players are on time. He's a receiver though. Ooh, it's a good point. He's a receiver. And I feel like everyone's on my time, always.

All right, well, I put you in the number one spot. That might be hand up my bad. Okay, let's be honest with you, man. Number two. I get there when I get there. That's just my life mantra. Wow, let's be honest with you man. Number two. I get there when I get there. That's just my life mantra. Wow. He's a receiver. I'm just telling you man, party starts when I get there. I've spent so much time with Dominique where he just gives me legitimate anxiety for being 10 minutes

early to stuff that I assume this is a full football trade. We've had Michael like Jr. on our show before and he's also there 15 minutes early but he's a guard and a guard sort of like a slot corner. Like where, yeah. Let me rephrase that. If somebody else is paying, yes, 10 minutes early is late. If I'm paying, I get there when I get there. Yeah, I mean, that's a good one. You know what I mean?

Like, so Uber, like, hey, I'll be down there. All right. OK, go ahead. I like peek out the window for an Uber to make sure I don't make them wait, because I just. That's crazy. Yeah. No, it's problematic. Well, yeah, I'll save my Uber story I like peek out the window for an uber to make sure I don't make them wait cuz I guess crazy. Yeah

I'll save my uber story so after you get to your list cuz I wouldn't know what you think number two I'm putting Jess Jess Shocking I like you said to Why is that shocking? I don't know I I guess it's just my own experience with my wife. The Uber rating is not, I mean the... No, keep talking. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm with Dominique on this. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, women! No, no. Give my man a five, don't leave him hanging. I've told my wife, when we're going out,

you call the Ubers, because I hate making the Uber driver wait. When we go out, you call the Ubers. When we're coming home, you call the Ubers. I ain't got no damn Uber, because I've called it a couple times, and you make me look like an asshole, I gotta walk out there and sit in the Uber for five minutes

and make conversation with this guy because I feel like a jerk. Hock, that's why I'm peeking out the window. Because I need to know when I have to go and have the conversation, so you know, buy the extra five to seven minutes. Nothing worse than having to have the conversation. That's my move though,

you go out there and you're like apologizing to your group, you're like sorry about these people, they're coming, I know they're in the bathroom. I told them to come outside, this is my rating here, please don't. Me and your wife are from the same fraternity because I am the, how much time do we have? 15 minutes, 10 minutes, okay cool. At minute nine, go put my luggage in the car.

Because then they won't pull off with my luggage. And then I got them locked in. And then we wait another 10 minutes until I'm finished with this phone call. Your Uber rating is definitely the worst. All right, Charlie, rattle through, hopefully we get some more. I'm gonna go a little faster now.

Dominique is third, respect for time. Yep. Fourth, I'm going with Billy, who I think is oddly polite with strangers. Fifth, I'm going with Roy. I don't like where we're going with this. Billy, we don't have, I don't know that I have Billy's, but okay.

Okay, fifth I'm going with Roy. I feel like he's never ever been like, hey, actually you took a wrong turn, actually there's a better route, he's just cool with it. What did I do to you, Charlie? We'll get to you, Big Red. Fifth, I'm going with myself, because I know my Uber rating. Six Fifth, I'm going with myself,

because I know my Uber rating. Sixth, I'm going with Lucy. I think she's probably got some one stars in college. Maybe a couple issues. That's actually fair. Yeah, the young people are tough. Seventh, I'm going with Tony. I feel like you probably.

I'm worse than Tony? Tony's like, have you heard this Joe Rogan podcast I think we should put it on that JFK thing yeah 8th is Mike mr. OXCORD himself horseshit 9th is is Chris Chris I think many people are on this list Chris have you paid the $250 fine for throwing up in the back? No. Be honest. I have not.

Oh, Lucy has, Lucy has. Twice. Twice. Wow. I'm liking my chances now. Yeah. Love the University of Iowa, go Hawks, great time. Someone below me, huh?

Chris is actually 10, just so you know your numbers are a little off. Actually, I am gonna bump Chris down to 10 because I forgot David Samson has to go somewhere higher just because I know he's standing outside anxiously one minute before the uber arrives and walks and goes hey how was your day no no no no no no no take because if the uber is late he's giving him hell the app said you'd be here two minutes ago no no no no no I'm telling you this from the from from the Jewish

diaspora anxiety thing okay David is more worried about his Uber rating than anyone else on this list. He cares more about it. And yet you have him at 11. No, I moved him up. That was my bad. I forgot to include him. Let's put him fifth right behind Roy.

I put Dan as not applicable. I'm shocked if he has the Uber app on his phone or knows how to call an Uber. There's just no f***ing way. I imagine Dan like on the wrong side of the hotel, like I don't know where to go. He has a, he also definitely has a black car driver that he knows, that he calls and schedules

the night before he needs to see him. Is that a black car driver or a black car driver? Glad you said something like that. Either way, I'm not sure. That was also some Dan wordplay. There we go, there we go. Slam Dan is in the building. The spirit is strong here.

His name is actually Leroy. All right, can we reveal now? But he's white. Can we reveal our numbers so I can get a victory lap here? Well, all right. I got two more. We got Pablo and David, too. I got two more.

Oh, I'm not the last. Next is Pablo. He is always late, and I just do not think he cares about his Uber rating or about drivers having to wait for him Or about him, you know, hey the rule for Pablo is if you ain't famous If there's no value for it, yeah He's not gonna give his best. He got it tatted on his chest

And the last one the last one is a mean like come on. Give me a give me a break. Give me a break man spit-take Last one's a mean. Like, come on, give me a break. Give me a break, man. Spit take. That's fair. Hard to argue. Just him mumbling drunkenly to an Uber driver for a 30 minute ride to the airport every time he leaves Miami. Somebody text a mean to see if he could get us his Uber

rating, because I did text him. I just text Pablo, David, and Dan. All right, now we got it. Let's go around the room. Who's going to pencil this list in? I'll write him down. All right, now we got it. Let's go around the room. Who's gonna pencil this list in? I'll write them down. All right, this is tough. Starting with you, Charlie, what's your rating?

487. Imagine that. Ooh, ooh, ooh. All right. Mike. It's real bad. It's real bad. What is it?

Show me your phone. It's 4.75. Ooh. That's real bad, huh? it? Show me your phone. It's 4.75. Woo. That's real bad, huh? I've been building it up. I, at a certain point, I was like, all right, let me just start over. I'll be a Lyft guy.

I gotta reclaim my reputation here because I'm always the guy that gets the Uber Excel for the group. Can I make a choice whether to do Lyft or Uber? Nope, nope. It has to be Uber? Ubs only. Oh, come on. Both of them. Jessica? I've worked really hard on whether to do Lyft or Uber? Nope, nope. It has to be Uber? UBs only. Oh, come on.

Both of them. Jessica? I've worked really hard on my reputation on Lyft. I have a perfect 5.0. There's no way. Get out of here, Smitty Wap! Woo! You might be the first person I've ever heard of.

That's impressive. To have a 5.0 Uber rating. Roy, what you got, buddy? Well, for Lyft I have a 5.0. I ain't no one asked me about that. I don't have no plans about that. And for Uber, I have a 4.97. Get him, Roy!

Superlative. So I don't know who that one driver was, but you can kiss my ass. Yeah. I was probably the guy that did the voiceovers. Yeah. Chris. Mine's higher than Charlie's.

Ooh. 4.92. 4.92. 4.92. Charlie forgets how damn nice I am. You are affable as hell, man. Hey, how's it going? How's your night going? You probably start with a four

because you wobble in there drunk and mad. I'm sorry, man, I'm a little drunk today. But then once they get to know you. You having a good night, though? You having a good night? Chris also revealed to us once that when the Uber drivers are talking to him about weird stuff, he'll just kind of nod along and smile and agree with them. Oh, they're saying whatever you're selling

I'm buying down the middle Chris. Oh Conspiracy theory give me some of that and look at me. I get a lot Great point vaccines vaccines, baby People are so loud man, it's crazy. See that guy wearing a mask? I was thinking the same thing. Alright, Lucy, what's your rating? I'm a 4.96. Despite what I did in college, I think that's the most impressive.

That is incredible. To have thrown up in an Uber three times. Only twice, only twice, speak, no. To have thrown up in an Uber twice. times. Only twice, only twice, speak of snow. Hey, hey, hold on, hold on, hold on. Gotten that fine. In your defense, Hawk, if you throw it up in the uber two times, you probably don't remember the other two times. Exactly, I completely agree.

You got four oob vomits. To remember two of them with the fine. And there's gotta be something you didn't get fined for, like a cup where it's like, and it just splattered on the seat in front of you, and you just left, be something you didn't get fine for like a cup words that just splattered on the seat in front of you and you just left as if you didn't know because he didn't see it five years oh I love that come back player of the year all right Andrew I'm nervous man I saved you I'm not I'm not as bad as Mike I'm not great okay that's good I'm four seven eight I'm a I tip well too though that was my 40 time okay there's no such thing as an accurate

high school 40 time no yeah it's like a full second faster than Rastrapo I ran a four three in high school and then got to college and they clocked me and they were like, 4.6? Yeah, you got faster, stronger, and lost.3 in your 40s. 4.6? All right, well, let me see, who we got here. So Lucy and Charlie, oh no, Charlie, what was yours? 8.7?

4.8.7. So Pablo is a eight four four eight four Dan is a four eight five. That's Valerie The head is a four eight five and David is a four eight seven put me next to you at your darkest moment Mr.. Uber driver It's good impression Can we do lift next please? I Good impression Hold on so He's thrown up in multiple cars and yet uber drivers around the country are like we'd rather have Lucy

Lucy Lucy is a lot like Chris I think is that they're probably really fun to talk to and the Uber drivers like them well that's because I lie you lie see just like Chris that's how you do it crazy story you guys are you guys getting into life debates with your uber drivers just let them talk yeah no no no no you guys are bad stuff I have to say something no one time an uber was like I think you would love this girl her name is Candice Owens and I had to be like. One time an Uber was like, I think you would love this girl, her name is Candice Owens, and I had to be like, no, we're not doing this. Steven A was your driver?

Love CEO. Perpetuate people pleasers is what you guys are. You don't have to be. Yeah. Hold on, you know why? You guys should be taking advice from me, first of all, because I have a perfect score. The way to do this is just, you don't have to be yeah Lucy you guys should be taking advice from me first of all because I have a perfect score the way to do this is just You don't talk you just sit there, and you're not in your smile politely. That's all you do I never have very long conversations with the uber drivers. It's cool, but I

Am a part of the dot nine crew. I got a four point nine No, who else is me is Charlie Lucy, right? Not Charlie. I mean I try me Chris Lucy and The boy Roy had dot nine boy Roy short for Leroy. No, okay Royce if I can know I said Roy thalamu no royal Alexander no, I like how you made 4.9 a crew. Roy Cesar.

That is the unconscious bias that America has built on. If this is my thing, other people have done it to make it more important than everyone else. Because it's not a five. We have a 5-0. So there's no reason to call out a 4.9 crew, but yet, he made

it a thing. We all know the 4.9s, but yet he made it a thing to the four nines are strong Yeah, you gotta treat it like a 40 time in high school. Yeah, you round up as strong as a five, but yeah Roy Mond no Your hockey nickname be Roy Roy? Roy-y? Roy probably. Wah! The king. Bells.

Belly. Bells. Oh, it'd definitely be belly or bells. Yeah. Good call. Hawk would just be Hawk, because it wouldn't add a Y to that, because it'd be like hockey? No, we can't have a hawk.

You can't call hockey, hockey, and hockey. That's nuts. All right, Luce, thanks for joining us. I'm gonna let you fly. I appreciate it. What's your shirt say? It says chaos. That's what I thought.

Oh, chaos. It's a cross club. All right, Luce, you got anything else you want to sell before you go? No, I already did a great job. You did an awesome job. Bye, buddy. Thank you.

Bye. So what's the most surprising score? We don't have Samson's score. I gave you Samson's score. Samson had a very high score. 4.8 something. I was actually surprised at how low his was. Yeah, he had a 4.87.

He's not a.9, boy. four eight seven. He's not he's not a nut He's not a dot nine boy. Same as me that I mean Charlie tough scene What are you doing ubers? How do you ruin your what's it? Do you guys mark no conversation on your uber? Yes, yes, of course I mark no conversation and my wife will tell me I'm hard on it because I do not want to talk not cuz I'm It's more my social anxiety because the whole having to get to the conversation and I'm typically doing something else I want to work in the uber there's only certain places where uber drivers tend to talk more than

not talk it's very city dependent you get an uber in a big city generally you're not really chit-chatting you get in an Uber, maybe you're on a work trip somewhere, it's a little smaller town, they're like kind of curious about you, why are you coming to my town? That's where the conversations happen. In Miami, they're on the phone. And like you'll learn it like four minutes in,

you'll just hear them like. Yep, the Uber driver, yeah. And like, oh, are they talking to me? Oh no, they're on the phone. The person's just on speaker and they're just like listening along. Just listening along the whole ride, like they're not actually phone. The person's just on speaker, and they're just listening along. Just listening along the whole ride. They're not actually communicating,

but he's just like, I'm here for you. Seven minutes in, they're like, yeah, I agree with that. And it's like, who are they talking to? Are you? So Mike is the worst. Mike is the worst? Mike's friends. Yeah, Mike's friends is the worst.

I will allow Mike. I'm almost exclusively left, too. OK, Mike. That's like out of seven. You're the worst You're the only one you're the only one I'll allow you to introduce your lift. Why score because I was right behind them We're part of the four point seven gang Five point oh and lift you sure like For close to 800 rides, yeah. Congratulations, man.

You're not an asshole. I worked hard on that. I worked hard on that because I found out one time, my Uber driver told me, you know, your rating's pretty low. I'm like, what? I was shocked to hear that. And then I was trying to figure out

exactly how I got to that point. I'm like, I'm never really the problem, am I? How low was your rating? At that point, it was like in the five. What? Like 4.5? Yeah, 4.5. So I'm really doing a lot of work on myself.

Yeah, good job. And it's just because he wouldn't stop talking about Miami Hurricanes football. When I say no conversations, it's to protect my rating. I have also 5.0 and Lyft, in case you were wondering. I was wondering. OK. They hand those out on that day.

Yeah, apparently. Everyone 5.0 and Lyft in case you were wondering. I was wondering. OK. They hand those out on that thing. Yeah, apparently. Everyone 5.0 and Lyft. They're trying to get you guys to come over. Deal the car in order to get a bad rating. Let me see some of your Lyft ratings, because for some of you, there's only one way to go. I don't even have Lyft.

Yeah, I don't know that I even have Lyft. I feel like I downloaded it at one point. My name on my Uber is also not my name, so I wouldn't even be able to prove that it's my profile you got a fake name like Roy yes so does Pablo you guys don't go fake names Roy's names Jack Spade yeah I'm gonna get you sucker so I mean the point of having a fake name you can't say he checks in a hotel it's a say the name on air. You can't say the name.

Isn't that the point? Yeah, it is. So people don't know your identity. You can't now give it away that you are Jack Spade on all your rideshare apps. Every hotel I go in, is there a Jack Spade? I mean, I don't know. Which of these is the most surprising?

I feel like, I mean, Jess's 5-0 shocked me. That's incredible. I'm not like your wife, it turns out. Apparently not. We are different. Uber was around when you were in college. No. And I was very respectful.

I would like to ask for a retroactive 90s pardon for being sexist. I just would like a sexist pardon. We didn't truly dig into how sexist that got. we can, I just would like a sexist pardon. We didn't at some point truly dig in to how sexist that guy. Can the pardon be granted because Lucy's is still the most shocking. 496 with a double boot.

Well, you know what? Maybe they're like, maybe they're really smart about when they order the Uber. Like maybe she's not feeling great. Like you should probably get this one. So it goes on someone else's ratings because I'm not at my best. Also how many rides?

We should also put that into consideration because if you only have two Uber rides you have a high rating I'm less impressed. Yeah. Whereas if I have a in the 4.7 gang, fo life. Hopefully not fo life. Never getting out of the 4.7 gang. 5.0's in lift. Asterisk. We should see how many rides you have. How do you do that? I don't know. My lift tells me right away. Lift tells me, yep, lift is perfect.

I have 106 lift rides. I would love, did anybody text Amin and find out, Amin and Tony, so maybe I guess in the next segment we'll get in Amin and Tony, because somebody has to undercut my buddy Mike. I believe that between Amin and Tony, one of them is gonna get under Mike, right? Man, that's pretty low.

That's a pretty low rating. Who do you think is lower, Ameen or Tony? Ameen. Ameen. Yeah. I think Ameen is lower, for sure. I think Tony's lower, just because I felt bad the way that y'all jumped on my dog Ameen. Tony could be a charmer.

Yeah, fair point. And Tony's- I And Toby's friends. I have a, I have a text from Pablo. Ask Mike if his Uber driver handed him a survey full of the anonymous thoughts of other Uber drivers that drove him in an attempt to make him more likable. Your thoughts. I don't want to indirectly talk to Pablo.

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