The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: The Weight of Moving a Goalpost

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

"Not in heart. Not in guts. Not in dawg. Not in guile. Not in balls. Not in C's and B's, pal." James Franklin loses to the nerds, the fans at Oklahoma State are dudes being bros, the crew uses "half a beluga" as a unit of measurement, and Baker Mayfield has another swashbuckling moment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Choose from our world of destinations, if you can. Air Canada. Nice travels. Welcome to the big suey. Presented by Draft Kings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to pop.

apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Levitart show is presented by Draft Kings. Draft Kings, the crown is yours. Those stats that I gave earlier on the dolphins, the one in 15 stat, which is damning. one last 16 games against winning teams that's you're going winless if you're playing all the winless a season's worth of winless every time you play one of the good teams that would suggest

that no matter what you think the quarterback is with or without tirich kill he in it isn't enough the whole thing's broken it's broken down they had to be perfect in order to tease us and they are they're really imperfect defensively and offensively the other stat came from alfredo artiega that they were the three touchdown stats, which is if they're not getting, they don't have a way to win a game other than to have the game be something where they scored 27 points or play the Jets. Well, but the last two games are a prime example of the offense is good enough if the defense weren't horrible. Like if they had an average defense, they win the last two games. And it's the defense, let's not mistake it. It's the defense.

that is the real problem for this team. Well, Greg, we knew that going in. Like, their pass rushers were going to be okay. Linebackers were going to be probably a sub-average. And then we know they had no secondary outside of Minka Fitzpatrick. And now it's a surprise when guys are missing open field tackles and Lab McConkin. When it sticks a foot in the ground and goes 40 yards. It's like we knew this was going to be the test the entire time was the secondary.

The defense is historically bad. If it weren't for the Ravens, who are historically worse. And that's the epitaph for Chris Greer right now, is that he allowed them to go a whole off-season and start a season with those starting cornerbacks. He allowed that. He let it happen. It's all over, and I think that's what you feel here, and we've been saying it all season, and now Greg Cody is officially off the bandwagon, forevermore, fire everybody. Beginning last week, not yesterday. Okay. The thing that I wanted to ask you, speaking of firings, how many coaches are there in college football that will make their way into your Sunday,

into your professional football Sunday with the news of everything stops. James Franklin has been fired. Oh, look, minor league professional football just fired one of the real big guys with tenure who got that job. I think I have this right. Because he made Vanderbilt win.

Nobody could make Vanderbilt win. And so he got 12 paterno. Paterno handed off one of the mythical franchises to Bill O'Brien. And then James Franklin gets a great run so great without winning anything for 12 years. that how many coaches in college football would break into professional football yesterday with the news of everybody to be like,

oh, one of the big ones went down in minor professional football? Like 10 programs, I think right around there. What are the names that you would put ahead of James Franklin yesterday because of an in-season firing where we now know that the stakes are, hey, if you're at one of the big schools now that that conference is getting $2 billion, now that that conference is about to get private equity $2 billion, dollars if you lose early in the season and we expected you to win under these conditions you play a very close good game at home against Oregon that makes it look at the time like you're still

going to have a job if you win that in an overtime maybe at the time everyone's fine with you you finally won a big game then you go to UCLA which is the most glaring example we have in the entire sport this year that it matters how your team is coached because UCLA with john foster was oh and four they fired him and now they kicked the holy hell out of michigan state which is in the conference that just got the two billion dollars. So James Franklin, 12 years ain't what we get around here anymore. You then lose to Northwestern, you lose to Greenie School, you're out. That's the last one.

It's the last straw. We'll take 12 years of this bullshit. Greenie School. Once you learn to know, no, everybody knows that. It does make it sound like over Wilbonne School? Once you lose to Northwestern, that was the nail in the Franklin Coffin. Like, he could have survived it if he had won that game. Once you lose to the nerds, once you lose to the books,

They're the ones who tried to unionize. Once you lose to the books, nope, get out of here. We're taking $2 billion. And we're not losing to Northwestern when we're Penn State. Yeah, but he made the playoffs last year, right? Like, there's no reasonableness in college football anymore. And this is exacerbated by the whole NIL portal thing.

You have to win now. If you have a disappointing season, it doesn't matter what you did a year ago. You start off three and three, that's a fall on a crime. He didn't just make the playoffs. This isn't Boise State. He was vying last year at the end of the season for they're about a half away from playing for the championship. They were in full control of that Orange Bowl until a corner slipped and fell in Great House takes it to the house. And all of a sudden, you're wondering, how the hell is Notre Dame even in this game?

James Franklin won two playoff games last year. Granted, it was against SMU and Boise, but he won two. Yeah, and yet he can't survive a three-and-three start. I think it's a little bit unfair, premature. Oh, I just think it's what it is now. Like, this is, if you professionalize it this much, yep. Oh, no one's going to be safe. When only 10 are worth it anyway?

Like, only 10 break into programming. Like, that's not, I think Mike's high there. Like, I don't think if DeBoer gets fired, anybody cares. Like, I know they care regionally, but not in the middle of your, in the middle of your- Alabama fires its head coach is creeping into your Sunday. Maybe, I'm not saying creeping into your Sunday. I'm saying everything stops with the plastered headlines. on ESPN.com of it's not about any of the football games like the it's not about the worst

Jets performance to fall in 0 and 6 that can cover the morning it's not about any of the five games in the one o'clock window that were one score games that all had drama no right in the middle of is holy shit james franklin has been fired i really don't think that there are many coaches who have the tenure or the name at a school now in the wild wild west of that's the most professional now. Now it's even more professional than professional football. If you're going to bring $2 billion to that conference and say, James Franklin, you can be fired in three games. Three bad games. We'll forget what you did three games ago. That's crazy. It's got the best job in football. I don't know. He's fired coach. 50 million dollars

come in his way. I don't ever want to see James Franklin again. This is one of my favorite games. For his mental health. One of my favorite games. I don't want to see him ever again. Where is he going on vacation? Go buy a house in the keys. Go get a contender in the back. Go fishing. Go meet Jimmy somewhere. I don't ever want to see James. James Franklin again. Don't show up at Wichita State playing. Don't do that. I don't think this is a Jimbo

situation. I think there are a lot of programs. A lot of good programs, you'd be shocked at the places I think James Franklin can kill it. Because one thing that he's shown is that he is a program builder. And there are some places in this country that desperately need someone like that, schools that have been trying to scheme their way

when they have no business doing that. You give James Franklin the resources of a Florida or an FSU. He raises the floor immediately. I don't think he's going to be out of work for a very long time. I really don't. I agree. And by the way, you mentioned DeBoer.

This guy is having the last laugh right now, okay? Everybody in this building was burying him when they lost the opener to FSU. End of an era. He's out of here. Bring back Nick. He's won. They're five and one now with three wins against ranked team. This is the only place I'll stop you, okay?

So, guys, I don't know if you paid any attention to the ESPN ranking. because they're funny. They're legitimately funny. Crooked FBI. No, wait a minute. It's funny, but also funny in a pretty great way. Because, yeah, I can make an argument. Notre Dame's one of the top five teams.

I really could. They lost two games on the road against two teams, I think, to be good. But to have Notre Dame ahead of Texas A&M and Miami, just it's funny. I'll read some of these. No, Tone. Wait, what? Tone.

I will read some of these rankings to you guys in a second. But when Greg overreacts to, Alabama ain't Alabama anymore. Missouri hasn't beaten Alabama since 1976 and could have very easily, very easily won that game if Alabama doesn't make two fourth down plays late that were great because all of a sudden, Eli Drinkwits is in the game. He's been in the game. He's like a top 10 in salary. Missouri is good. Yes, of course Missouri is good. But what I'm saying is the SEC, the top of the SEC,

They're all the same except, of course, Arch Manning might figure some things out over the next six games that shows you that Texas has better athletes than everybody else in that conference. But Miami's being penalized. Do you guys want to guess the ESPN? I thought this was a joke, the rankings, the FPI rankings. Do you guys want to guess what the top five is now? Anybody? No, must be ludicrous. He was in North Carolina last week.

I think Notre Dame is in the top five, given what you said. A&M deserves to be A&M's. No, A&M is not. That's crazy. Listen to what this top A, I thought this was a joke. Please check it for me. Maybe it is a joke. Like, I may be fooled by the internet here because of how little sense the ESPN ranking

FPI football power index rankings were because I'm like, this can't be real. Oh, I see what they're doing here, but this can't be real. Who is this for? like what are these FPI rankings for who checks these I think it's computerized but they're irrelevant isn't it based heavily on strength of schedule I was out on this met as a metric when conveniently a week before the season the FPI shifted on it on everybody without games to pull data from so this is I'm looking at this I'm I don't know how computer generated this is but Florida state is still 25 which does not make sense to me after they lose at Pittsburgh and given that I can actually make a an argument for these rankings. I can contort myself, the way I did with the Chiefs, to make an argument on these rankings based on strength of schedule. But your premise has to be that Florida and Florida State aren't any good and that Miami hasn't beaten anybody. That Miami hasn't, that USF isn't any good. So the number one team is Ohio State. Ohio State is

amazing for a number of different reasons. One of them, Skinny Matt Patricia's pretty good. They're good on goal line situations in a way that's crazy. And they haven't allowed a rushing touchdown. I saw the stat during the game in 184 rushing attempts. They've allowed no first half touchdowns. So Ohio State is number one. Number two is Indiana. Indiana,

that was amazing to watch. Oregon get dragged late. Great game. Just get dragged late in that game. By the way, a quick aside for Indiana. Dan, I think we got one. We've been waiting. We've been praying. We've been hoping that one day we could see a Cuban kid be a quarter.

quarterback. Dano, we got one. He might be the number one of our pick, Dan. Indiana was super impressive in the second half of that game. So you want to put them number two when Oregon hadn't lost a game at home in 23 games and had like 18 games. No, was it? 23 straight regular season games and hadn't lost a game at home in 18 games. So FPI is a ranking that projects how the future will play out. So it's not currently what's going on why you have some teams. This is how they think things will end in the future. What's up, guys? It's a mean.

And those of you that listen to the show religiously know that I always talk about I'm not going to movie theaters anymore. There's nothing that can get me to the movie theaters. Just let me know when it comes out on streaming. Well, turns out I'm a big fat liar because one of the things that I watched in the movie theater this summer, just a couple of months ago, was the naked gun. And I laughed my ass off. I enjoyed it so much being there in a movie theater full of people, everybody laughing.

the communal experience, but now it's on Paramount Plus, and I get to do it all over again from the comfort of my home, and I'm going to grab my family, we're going to gather around, we're going to watch it. That's what you should do. You should grab your friends or your family. Watch the Naked Gun. It's hilarious. Liam Neeson kills it as Frank Rebben Jr.

Yes, Frank Drevin Jr. They're continuing the legacy. There are a lot of little callbacks and Easter eggs from the old naked gun movies. This one right here captures that spirit, captures that comedy, and why wouldn't it? It's produced by Seth MacFarlane. You know how much I love Family Guy and American Dad. He's a producer.

The director of Akiva Schaefer. You know him from S&L. He directed pop star, never stopped popping. He's hilarious. You got Pam Anderson in it. You got my man Danny Houston, aka I'm surprised. Oh my God. You have to go catch this movie on Paramount Plus.

And why wouldn't you? Who doesn't like to laugh? It's fun times in your household tonight. Paramount Plus. The Naked Gun Hey, audience, I got a special treat for you because I want to talk to you about Miller Light, but I want to talk to you about Miller Light

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Don Lebertard. I'm not going to apologize. I wouldn't expect you to apologize. You're a giant infant. You have no control over your emotions. You have no control over your emotions. When you're calling someone you know an idiot, I don't deserve it.

I don't deserve it. And you're a fool for saying it. Okay. Stugats. You're a fool. I was kind of following. Oh, you're locking in right now. You're locking in on eyes.

All right. Let's drop the gloves, pal. Let's rock. You should be thanking me. For what? Every day. For what? For what?

For what I've done around this character. And the second shit gets real for you, you want to come at me and call me a fool? Huh? Yeah, no, no, no. Seriously, Jeremy I've added 10 years to your career.

This is the Dan Levitar show with these two gods. That's pretty ridiculous. Well, you just got Miami below two teams. I mean, Notre Dame, you've got Miami and Texas A&M below Notre Dame when Notre Dame lost to both of them. And the argument would be it was on the road. Both games were on the road and both games were close.

And if you, you could make an argument for Notre Dame being one of the five best teams in the sport. You could based on what you've seen. You could. It's kind of ridiculous to make an argument that they should be ranked ahead of Miami in any metric, especially when what Billy said is if it's projecting, then one of might to do with the best odds across all of the sports betting for a team to go undefeated in that sport belongs to the Miami Hurricanes in part because of their schedule softening as the

season progresses. Yeah, they're going to be favored in every remaining game. But I think it's unfair to say they haven't played anybody. You can only play who you're scheduled to beat, and they have beaten three ranked teams at the time. It's patently absurd to say that because their strength of record is good. They beat Notre Dame. They beat USF so badly that people don't even know what to do with that.

result. EPA is a huge part of this, so expected points added on special teams, offense, and defense, and it's supposed to be sort of predictive from where that's gone. So just in terms of a metric, it's supposed to be based off of what your EPA is in all three of those aspects against the teams you've played. And when you look at where those rankings are in FPI, based off of what those losses are for FSU and UF, both of those teams losing to those teams is essentially looking like beating them as well. It's essentially even. It's all manipulated.

I told you. They changed the FPI rankings a week before the season. But EPA is like a stat that's quantifiable. Yeah, I get an EPA, but yeah, just line up play the games. This is stupid. I want to talk about some of the professional football games that were played, although the Jets did not play one of those. Like that is a bad, as bad a passing performance

as you can possibly see in the modern age, non-weather division. But the game yesterday, and I don't know which one you guys want to talk about as the most important. The chief schedule is about to get easy. They've had a hard schedule. I'm going to end up eating a lot of corvettes as soon as Rishie Rice gets back. If you would have won that bet instead of losing it, would you have expected a corvette here? Good question. I hadn't thought that one through.

Like, do you think Nick was like, how do I find a corvette? No, but I thought part of it, but I thought part of the beauty of it, was that we were going to get the Corvette that Greg didn't like, that she couldn't paint because it was a lease. She couldn't paint in a different color. And he never told her he wanted a different color. So I thought if we got that car, the reason I was asking Erlene and Chris is if I lost the bet or if I won the bet, whether or not we'd give that car to Greg as a gift again. You didn't answer the question. If you lost, though, or won, I guess, because this is a rare occasion where winning it means losing and Nick Wright tried to send you a car despite not verbally

confirming that that was indeed the bet you would have been met no I would have thought it's funny you know 5k in your fat wallet that's what you know it doesn't no no Nick I believe that Nick bet that amount I never do like I never bet that amount I believe I believe Nick lives in that space where he's perpetually betting that amount with everybody on everything that's not a big amount of money to Nick? I don't think. Yeah. He's good for it. See, the poker stakes he plays. I think, yeah. He doesn't bet cars, though, usually.

Yeah, big slips, buddy. And we don't have any evidence that he bet a car here, but we're just running with it. Can you just, do me a favor, all right? Do me the favor. Do me the favor, independent of me. Just text Nick Reich and find out, just ask him if he thinks we have bet a car.

If he thinks we have bet a Corvette, yes or no. Because I believe his idea, in fact, I think I've got this right. I believe it was his idea to get the VIN number of Erlein's car. I believe it was his idea to me. Was that a private conversation?

May have been, yeah. It may have been. I'm now running all of these things together as I'm trying to figure out two things. I'm trying to figure out how it is that I thought I woke up this morning owing him a Corvette and that didn't feel very good even though it was funny. And I also thought

how did I get myself in this predicament? I don't feel this strongly about how it is that the chiefs are going to do the remainder of this season. You're huge. I want to break this microphone and have. Oh my gosh. That team's dead. And now you're counting on injuries, which proved our original

point to make you somehow right. This is crazy. This is what I want to be at this point. Yes. It's not crazy. It's the worst incarnations of me badly wanting to be right. And if I still had to bet the field with him, I would be willing to make that bet a bet that's got much larger

stakes than it presently has. willing to make you feel a little better by playing sound of Tony agreeing with you. Dan's 100% right. They almost three-peated last season. That doesn't matter, but they did it a different way. They changed the offense completely. They got rid of Tyree Kill. They went to a dink and dug.

They had two high safeties. They couldn't go deep. You know this. It's been dead for a while. It's been dead for like three years. Three years, Tony said. Tony, you get out of here. Now you owe Nick Wright a car also.

I have reached out to Nick Wright. He has texted me back. If we are clear, he is offering to join the show and explain this. he does concede that it got a little complicated. He can join us around 10.15. Okay. Thank you. Andy's going to, yeah, let's figure out how to make these season-long stakes.

Let's figure out. Okay, that's bad. That's bullshit. Like, no matter what the stakes are, car, or not, you're not getting to extend this. Now, he may extend you. I owe this. No, I owe him this. I'm not trying to get out of the bat.

I owe him this. I'm asking you... What do you think you owe him? I owe him a white Corvette. And $5,000. You're a little smirk ain't fooling us. What is Tonyo? You know what you're doing.

I owe... What do you mean? I know what I'm doing. You can't even hide the smile from your face. Because it's funny. This ends up being funny if I'm sending him either if I'm either buying Greg, the original Corvette he did not want back.

I would like it. Or getting... Or Billy's... idea, which is the best of them, of course. My idea. You're the one who found the white Corvette. The White Corvette. You're the one who found it without, you told me later it didn't have a transmission.

You said, you said $3,300. Yeah, 3,900. So how did you end up there? Do you remember how we got. I just got curious what a white Corvette would cost if you were to buy a used one, what the cheapest one would be. I like my dad's idea, 5K and pennies. Yeah, one thing is clear.

Tony's an idiot. Tony, there's a way for you to maneuver here to have a new white Corvette. I don't know how it. I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to say it, but yes. No, 100%. By the way, I got a guy that can fix it. So if you want to send me over the transmission, I got a guy.

Do you want to ride shotgun with me on let's see who we got the chiefs of the field the rest of the season? Let's kick up the stakes. Let's kick them up. 500,000 pennies. Hampton Farms. fan of the week because we sent him peanuts already. We're paying him peanuts. We're literally, we've already sent him a box of peanuts. That's where I started the bidding. Now send him an old Corvette. Let's see where we end up

with this by the Super Bowl when he's still betting on the Chiefs and I'm on the other side of this. The Hampton Farms, Nuttiest fan of the week is who this week? We have nominees, Dan, the Nuttiest fan brought to you by Hampton Farms. Get Nuddy with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season. Vote for your favorite nutty fan at Lebitard show on Instagram. And be sure to keep an eye out for Lucy at Iowa, if you think you are your team's nuttiest fan. The first nominee we have here, Colorado wins a big game at home against Iowa State, and then they rush the field, and there's a fan here that almost gets crushed by the field goal post.

That is nutty. You think it's funny? That hurts. You think it's funny, but then he's like, guys, seriously, get this off me. But they got it off him. No one was hurt. That's a nutty fan, if you ask me. And bad judgment by us. Got to hit the gym on him. What do you mean? If that's not nutty fan behavior, I don't know what is. And now the other nominee, we have Oklahoma State fans who at some point during the game,

one guy takes his shirt off, starts whipping it around. And then people followed. Next thing you know, they had an entire section of shirtless dudes just being a bunch of bros waving their shirts around. I mean, Dan, that's nutty. As they lost by 30 at home to Houston. There was plenty of space in the bleachers, but open space there for them to fill. So it's a Chief Super Bowl bet now, I mean.

Which would make him right. Like more than right if they make it to the Super Bowl again. Not since Vanderbilt beat Bama and the field gold pose ended up in the Cumberland River. Has field gold pose been moved so drastically and dramatically from what this original bet was, which was, Dan, they'll be all right when they got guys back. Now Dan's the Colorado fan with the field gold. That's exactly right. He's saying, I've moved the field gold so much. exactly the position I'm in right now. That is correct. I'm looking for injuries and I'm looking for strength of schedule. There's Dan right here. This is the position I put myself in because I doubted

the chief's offense and now... You can hit the gym. And now everyone here is saying, Dan, you were you were too soon on that. Wow, Tony, you're saying you could easily push this off. I'm saying you got to push that up. Wow. Yeah. That thing is probably, it takes, it took dozens of fans to lift this thing. You got to push that up. No, you got to get out for that. Like his arm was pinned there. Come on. Hit the gym. Hit the gym. Field goal posts weigh between 9,200 and 1,200 pounds. No, no, no, that's fine.

That's right. I can do that. You got to get enough? Dude, hold on, first of all. First of all, you got enough to get your arm out. First of all, moms carry cars when kids are underneath them. Have you seen that?

It happens. Thank you, Greg. Yeah, it does happen. By the way, 500,000 pennies, weigh 3,000 125 pounds. That's probably less than a Corvette. Less than a field goal post. You also have to keep in mind.

The field goal post are resting on the ground, so it's not all 900 pounds that he has to live. Okay. Okay. I love that. Load bearing. That Tony and Mike here. She's got to push it up and get on there.

That's like 400 pounds. Look, look, somewhere between where the audience just was thinking that perhaps a percentage of the audience, that this was made of fiberglass, okay? I do believe that there are many people in our audience who may have just been learning for the first time when seeing that kid stuck under those goalposts. Oh, that looks like it might be a little heavier perhaps than I thought it was, and that kid looks scared, so much so that I said feels irresponsible to sponsor. this. That realization

as he could have been hurt, yes, and not surprising that Tony and Blake say they have the adrenaline strength that mothers have when picking up cars to save their children. If you remember Tony just last week had a home intruder come in and he went and he was running through the halls, boom, boom, boom,

knocking things around. Bare fists and bad in touch. His family was in trouble. I also misspoke. So, high school goalposts weighed between 800 and 1,200 pounds. Professional NFL goalposts, which I'm assuming is closer to that, way between 1,000 and 2,000 pounds. Wow.

So a ton. His arm is caught underneath it. Can you guys? How could he push it up? That's a testament to how weak he is. This is nutty, though, Dan. You have to admit. I believe that Billy just shocked

the audience with the weight of gold posts. I believe the audience right. Now, wait a minute. They weigh as much as a beluga whale. What do you mean a ton? You guys are just like push it off them. Guys, let's watch the video. Look at how he gets freed.

Let's watch how... One guy lifts it. Apparently, the strongest person on the planet comes to his aid. One guy seen. One guy, look. There could be other people lifting. Look, that's all you need. One guy.

There's two people there. Okay. Okay, two guys lifted. Come on. That you saw in the video. You had nine people there on the goalpost? The creatine these days is so good, kid. Baluga whales can weigh up to 1,600 kilograms, which is actually 3,500 pounds.

It's like half a beluga. All right, so if both Gold Post fell on you, it would be the beluga whales. Female beluga whales can weigh 1,500 to 2,600 pounds. Okay, so a small. Where a caviar comes from. Is that so? Yep. No.

Baluga whales. That can't be right. Sure. No, they give live birth. No, but they're mammals. But the eggs. No, that. I don't think they have.

It's fish eggs and beluga whales are mammals because of whales. Let's talk this out, Dad. You never heard of beluga at caviar? Yeah, but those are fish eggs. And the beluga whale is not a fish. The penguin is This show is sponsored by Liquid Ivy And man, let me tell you something

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Always drink your Yeagermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day. Well, that's just a personal decision. Bushing your teeth.

Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules. But the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly.

You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Yeagermeister liqueur 35% alcohol by volume imported by mass Yeagermeister U.S. White Plains, New York. Don Lebertard. The boy is Captain Slappy. Stugats. Is this Chum Bucket?

This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. Baluga caviar consists of salt curated eggs of the beluga sturgeon. Oh, hello. Sturgeon, whale, you know. You said so matter-of-fact that you were right on that. Yeah, I thought it was. Yeah. I grew up thinking beluga whales equals beluga caviar.

But you're right. That's what makes a whale, a mammal, is that they give live birth. Yeah. Although whale sharks, not whales. Chris, can you get me an assortment of sounds? I've gotten distracted today because I meant to start the show during the Shadow Show before Billy put me in an ascot with three sounds that I wanted to go to today. from last week for a particular reason. Can you get me the Kendrick Perkins first on just...

And please add to the list. Tell me what others are in show history that would feel or sound like this. Get me that Kendrick Perkins sound? Bam out of the bayou. So that's him trying to say, Bam out of by you. Bam out of the bayou.

And he did not say it correctly. And then we've also got poor mad dog last week trying to say the name of Yankees pitcher Schlittler. And then we're getting to Schlistler. who obviously was Pannap, it was Schittner. And we also have just gronk being gronk. I'm scared of Emeka, Abuka's name. Because of how he says it, I get scared to say it.

I was saying this in my house to myself, all of them. Emika egg begbo. Emika, egg begbo. That's his name now. There were two stories I thought, you tell me if you think you have a bigger one than this, because I know the chiefs being three and three, and the chiefs are always the biggest thing.

From yesterday's games, I thought the two takeaways that I had that were the biggest were. Oh, Seattle is good. They're just simply good. And they have somebody who is now challenging Justin Jefferson for Sam Donald's really going to have, like, the best weapon in the league yards per catch at receiver? Because I think Smith and Jigba has snuck up on some people, maybe he shouldn't have, but best receiver in the league type good? I'm not sure a lot of people were having that conversation before this season and the number of. of yards that he has per catch. It's hard to talk about Seattle because that defense travels. They've won nine straight on the road. And they were favored yesterday at Jacksonville.

Like they were favored and should have been because they're not as dumb as that team is. They're not that Jacksonville, that's exactly how Jacksonville is going to play in all of those games when they meet the very best of the disciplined teams. And Seattle has something in the connection between its quarterback and that wide receiver that they have big plays the way nobody has big plays. So there's that one story over there. But then, Being Tampa again with injuries, and I thought Baker Mayfield pull off the two consecutive plays that were like, blow your head off on weight. On 3rd and 16, he's going to put his shoulder down, and he's going to run over two

defensive backs because he needs 16, or whatever it was, it was 3rd and 15, and he needs 16, and he's going to get stopped three yards short the way every other quarterback wouldn't the league except, wait, Baker's really going to do that with his will? It ain't even going to be about his body because he's too small. we know no he's too small and then no receivers left for him to throw to imica a big boo no receive everybody's hurt for him no receivers and you're playing the team everybody's hurt for them but they win in this spot when everyone's hurt for them fred warner's gone now too but you go right after that you put tampa and spin it on your finger the

entire city because you're such a gunslinger that after that play you're going straight to the end zone with whatever receivers you got and you get the touch It's like the opposite of everything the Dolphins are. And that's why Draft King's latest NFL MVP odds have Baker Mayfield third, number three, and rising. That game was so much fun, and I feel bad for the 49ers. That's brutal. There's no coming back from that one to Fred Warner. For me, that was like the main takeaway is this incarnation of the Niners.

I'm not going to say their windowism because I have a head coach that has found ways, but this incarnation of the 49ers, that might have been the window shutting yesterday. Just what it takes, right? Like, I mean, so the sport. There's a gruesome injury, too. I was really looking forward to watching Fred Warner versus Baker Mayfield. And he always plays. Like, he's not the one that's ever heard.

It's everybody else. It's never him. And now Debo's questionable tonight. Like, what that sport does and what it's taken in that sport to go from Garoppolo to Mac Jones to how are we going to figure out how to do this? Because we got Trent Williams. And we had Kittle. We don't have him anymore. We can make it with Purdy. He's the last pick in the draft. We can make it with Mac Jones regardless, anything. You don't need to make this about injuries. On 3rd and 15, Baker wasn't going to be stopped by any people who make tackles in that league because that's the story around him now. And then he goes to the end zone on the next play. And he doesn't have his Hall of Famers. Like it's he's not, he's not throwing to Mike Evans. Baker Mayfield was missing wide receiver one, wide receiver two, wide receiver two, wide receiver. receiver three, wide receiver four, right tackle one, right guard number one. His team was somehow

more beat up, RB1. His team was somehow more beat up than San Francisco. Ted Johnson only gets in the position to get that opportunity because everyone else is heard. Emika a big boo. The quote from Jim Nance, as he was calling that incredible rushing play by Baker Mayfield was, he doesn't have a chance. Oh, yes, he does. It happened just like that. He doesn't have a chance. Oh, yes, he does. If I told you two and a half years ago, would you rather have Tua or Baker? We were doing that conversation. Everybody answered, do it.

But no, the other conversation that's funny about that, though, this is what's funny about that one, right, Tony? Because Justin Herbert made the play that Tua can't make, because Justin Herbert in that spot is of the size that makes you doubt Tua, but not Herbert.

So did Drake May, by the way. We can name like 15 quarterbacks that made the play you needed to make. Well, Baker's closer to Tua than he is to Herbert in terms of stature. not heart, not guts, not guile, not no, not balls, nothing. Not C&Bs, pal. Literally nothing. Not the C&Bs.

See, wait a minute. The part that's not fair about this is that only one of them has been racked by brain injuries. I'm not going to question two as toughness. C and Bs, though, Dan. Cock and balls. I'm not going to question to us toughness, but what I will say is I have never been the person. I do not do this. where I say yeah

Baker was going to make that first down against everybody because I don't I mean the mythology of sports is silly like we do this after we get the result every time but to have those two plays back to back to beat that team which has been the champion in that sport like it's been

champion good it hasn't quite won the championship but that team's the standard for you overcome in that sport like look what happened to Baltimore when they can't overcome like that that team overcomes and you slayed them in your house and you slayed them in like the best and most emotional way. The kids who are at that game will remember those two plays in adulthood.

And he does that every week. Like, Bigger Mayfield is making generational fandom for those in attendance week after week. Yeah, he's become a folk hero in Tampa. He's a dog. Yeah. I mean. Not just a Tampa. Baker Mayfield, week after week, is doing something that sticks out on your NFL Sunday.

Everyone's come around on this guy. Everybody loves this guy. Everyone, that style of play resonates. Say, no, he's not the tallest, all right? He's not genetically blessed. And he is throwing the ball better, Damier better than anyone in the league right now. He is just a dog. The thing, though, that does, I'm not going to go after Tua for toughness.

But when I give you the stat of the dolphins are broken, their quarterback can't beat the good teams. Baker did that at the Seattle team I was just talking about. That Seattle team is one nine straight on the. the road that seattle team is rugged and sam darnald's pretty good too and nobody was slinging they were slinging it back and forth and baker took it from them at the end and this is how the league's stories at that position get rewritten as the quarterbacks get old and go to the booth Brady and Romo and Aikman and all of them are in the booth now but they're telling the stories of the kids right and this is how the league gets taken over when you're watching all the games on sunday and then you're

wait a minute. Oh, I've got to pay attention to just Baker now. Everybody get out of the way. Is Baker going to do this in the last two minutes? Is Baker going to Baker? Like, this is how you get rid of nobody's thinking about Ben Rothlisberger anymore. Like Aaron Rogers will hold on to the end, but it's in these stories. Now, they have to be in the playoffs for someone like Lamar Jackson, but it is kind of amazing to see that Tua can't beat the good teams and Baker has has climbed out of the sewer to beat the good teams because his career was finished. Fulfilling promise, it's weird that this is happening with a number one overall draft pick. But yeah, that's what happens when you're running scout for the Carolina Panthers as a D-end.

Remember the NFL 100 commercial. It ends with Baker sitting at a table next to Tom Brady. And Baker was coming off a really good rookie season. And everyone's like, yeah, this makes sense. One day this guy will be a face of the league. Well, he's a face of the league now. He's up there. He's one of the faces that represent this league.

No one could have accounted for the twist and turns that story talk. And part of it is just the swashbuckling style and the idea that he will take a tackle. He's not going to slide all the time. And he's so small to be a swashbuckler. You know, you expect that style from Josh Allen, who's as big as a linebacker, but Baker Mayfield doing it as a small guy, very impressive. I love swashbuckling. Yeah.

He does honestly seem like a buccaneer. Like he seems like he would kill it at Gasparilla. Yeah. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. does Baker Mayfield look like he would kill it at Gasparilla? Like Carolina was not a fit for him. No. L.A. also, I don't think, was really like vibe for him.

Tampa fits. Tampa? He's a Tampa guy. Exactly right. The part about it that to me is the coolest, because we can make up these stories about anybody if we want to believe in the mythology, the part that's the coolest is, show me all the other guys in the league

as you're watching Justin Fields and what the Jets are. show me all the other guys in the league. Even as I'm arguing with Nick Wright and the rest of you about what Patrick Mahomes looks like when he doesn't have the right receivers. It's not just that Baker Mayfield is winning. It's he doesn't get the cheat code of Mike Evans is always open.

Like the receivers he won that game with are not. Those are guys that you're not throwing to on Sundays. You can't have all your receivers out. What do you think that would look like if I took... What do you imagine the dolphin offense would look like if I just took out Waddle, Washington, Ann Hill? You killed the Chiefs because they were missing two guys. Nick Wright explains what the hell this bet is next.

Guys, join us Thursday, October 30th. We mentioned it earlier in the show. We're throwing a Miller Light Watch party for Thursday night football. Dolphins versus Ravens. Wake the kids up for this one. Like I said, Flanagan's in Kendall, Southwest 88th Street and Kendall Drive. It's a Halloween block party. Costumes are encouraged.

Come hang with the crew, Dan, Billy, Chris, Tony, Jeremy, Amean, Dave Damshack and more. Our party starts at six, kickoff at 815, don't miss Flanagan's $1,500 costume contest. Good vibes, plus great football equals Miller time. Hey, audience, I got a special treat for you because I want to talk to you about Miller Light, but I want to talk to you about Miller Light with my good friend, Rose. Hey, Rose. Hi, everybody. When we hang out, and we hang out often, we're friends, I consider us friends.

Yeah, me too. We're often toasting the good times. And what am I toasting with? With Miller Light. That's right, Miller Light. Whether you're hanging out with your dear friend, Rose, or at game. day. It just hits different when you got a Miller Light in your hand. From jaw-dropping touchdowns to fantasy heartbreaks, it's a beer that has been there for every moment. Fifty years of great taste,

simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color that you can spot across the room. And it's just not the color of the beer, which is brilliant. That beautiful white can. How beautiful is that? Is that you doing the sound of a can opening? Is that your favorite sound? Oh, no. It is a horsey. A horsey? All right, we'll stop doing that. And here's a kicker. Miller Light is just 96 calories. 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The original light beer since 1975. That's right.

And still hitting different five decades later. You're so good at this, Rose. I know. So whatever your game day looks like, remember, Miller time is always a good. Time.

Look at us. We're a great tag team. I know. I know. Can you do that beer sound one more time? And the horse sound one more time? I regret asking you about that one,

but the Miller light sound is good. Miller light, great taste, 96 calories. Go to Millerlight.com slash Jan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller.

Time. Celebrate Responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Sin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounce. Aung-Sess. No, it says. Oh, it says.