The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Top 5 Names In Sports Who Connote Easter

Episode Date: April 21, 2025

"Steven's mom? That's the difference here?" After examining an underrated annoyance of Chris Cote's, Stugotz delivers his Weekend Observations. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices....com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:36 along the way. I know I have. It's backed by thousands of members whose lives have been changed. Be part of that group. Telling you I'm better for it, have it in my office, sometimes I can put on the baseball game, sometimes I can put on a soccer match, some other times I'm totally locked in on an emo playlist. Find your push. Find your power with Peloton at OnePeloton.com. Now's a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented Tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here?
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Starting point is 00:01:35 Cuervo. Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.
Starting point is 00:02:00 That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. It's pretty rare after 20 years doing this that I get sort of stunned silent
Starting point is 00:02:18 by something that's happened around here that hasn't been learned, even though Stugatz has lived among Latin people for 20 years. The first hour had a moment for me that I'm not even sure I concealed very well, but it felt like I was alone with Tony in the moment where you guys asked me how I got rid of the meat that Prime 112 sent over
Starting point is 00:02:45 to our house as if you didn't know that I'm a Latin family person. Like what, there is never a problem getting rid of meat at any hour that is cooked and is well cooked. Tony, like I felt so alone in a room full of people here. I'm like, are you guys from, like, have you guys been around? You asked me a question I did not know how to answer
Starting point is 00:03:08 because you're like, if you saw my reaction, it was like, what are you asking me? Like what kind of, was I breathing that evening? Like why are you asking me whether I could get rid of meat or not? Like I said, last segment me and Stu locked in today. I'm pretty sure we both had the same visual of you giving a $700 steak to your dog
Starting point is 00:03:26 Yes, and just being like I don't I'm not gonna eat this. Yep. How do you decide though who to offer up the $700? What I was saying as was I've then you come in, you kind of, what I was saying, Zazz, was I've got churraco, I got churraco. Why'd you assume I didn't know? No, just in case. I got all these things, you come over here and you pick what you want. And then Pepito comes over and he's like, What about this one?
Starting point is 00:03:55 No, that one's really good, okay, I'll take it. I've got Foot Foot eating like a five-star meal. Okay, I got it. I got your joke. You think I'm feeding it to the pets. We're all clear on what you're doing there Uh, I want to ask Tony some questions Because you guys didn't hear what he said on the translation He picked up an imaginary phone and the way that he said hello was you have stake i'm coming like
Starting point is 00:04:22 There's no hellos needed boy. Yeahaya because you got to get there first. Exactly. I knew that. No you guys didn't know that. You guys were hiding in your shadows and I know you like your steaks and you made me feel alone by derailing the show by asking me stupidly. How do you get rid of the meat? I'm Latin. Now we've elevated because now we have the group chat. So now you put the family in the group chat together on WhatsApp, obviously, on WhatsApp. And then you go, Oye tengo bisteven, pa ca. And then you have the cousin saying, voy pa ya, que tiene, vamos pa ya. Like it's just a family affair.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Zagack. Thank you. What is Spanish for Zagack? We're going to get to weekend observations in a second. Zaz is not here for your toughness. What does he care about your toughness? But the hockey playoffs have started and while the games might not be any good, they're already penalized a great deal and violent. Now that's tough. You want to hear toughness? Let's hear toughness from yesterday's Senators Leafs game. minutes for high snicking. Ottawa number 15 has two minutes for roughing and then Toronto number 2, 11, 25, 74 and 89 have two minutes for roughing and then Ottawa 43, 15, 22, 33 and 81 have two minutes for roughing. We're gonna play.
Starting point is 00:05:45 Number four. Yes, first weekend. That is playoff hockey right there. Best sports, this is the best sport. All right. It sounded like they were in the Roman Coliseum. Number C, checking notes by the way, for the people listening, he's looking down at paper.
Starting point is 00:05:57 He's like, number 11, number seven, number 42. They've got three minutes, and then number 11, number 14, number 72, they've got five minute majors. We're gonna gonna play four on four Zaslow. Everyone is picking against the Panthers. This is this is the perfect spot This is look man This has not happened in our lifetime in this market where we have the defending champion We have something that swaggers into the playoff saying some form of Yeah, Washington. We get it. That's how you guys play during the regular season that shit don't work now
Starting point is 00:06:34 Now's our time We'll do that to McDavid. We'll do that to everybody. We don't care about seating We don't care about going on the road, what the last three weeks forever since march on got here uh... the panthers have to put that link to the finish line in a sport that's got about twelve teams where you're like all good god that if hockey happens in any of those of a goalkeeper happens in any of those total chaos and yet i'm guessing does that's as comes in here today the way
Starting point is 00:07:01 lightning fans have come into their arena for many years before this before being vanquished by the Panthers to own Florida the United States and Canada in Canada's sport. This is Florida Panthers time. It's not up for dispute. They are the reigning champions. They go into the playoffs knowing exactly what's required to remain champions how hard it is. And everyone's picking against them.
Starting point is 00:07:32 And I'm surprised by that. I think it's because of the year Tampa had. I don't think you're almost saying it like it's disrespect to Florida. I think a lot of people have the winner of this Florida Tampa series going all the way through the East. So I don't really take it.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Tampa has just kind of been that hot team the second half of the season, so I'm not surprised people are going that way. And honestly, it makes me feel better. Like you were just saying, it's in a good spot. You don't want everyone picking you in hockey. Oh, it makes me feel good too. Like I don't need them picking the Panthers,
Starting point is 00:07:59 but I'm watching the points on ESPN yesterday at Steve Levy and Mark Messier. We are back. And PK Subban and all of them picked the Lightning to get to the Stanley Cup final And if you don't understand what that means, it means they're also picking the Lightning to beat the Panthers So Steve Levy is sus and Mark Messier is sus and PK Subban is sus It's been said it's been noted sus It's been said it's been noted where's that notarization he's coming
Starting point is 00:08:25 after ESPN people that's ESPN on ESPN crime it's why Samson was worried about putting in a position near a microphone to begin with well look it's not it's not any kind of crime I made a pick they made a pick I'm gonna be right they're gonna be wrong yeah no but you're saying they all picked and that they're sus. Yeah. You didn't just say they made a pick, no. Yeah. If you pick against the Panthers, you're sus.
Starting point is 00:08:56 He's right. Are we still getting things notarized? Is that still a thing? Yeah. That was always a ridiculous thing. Yeah. It's like, oh, let me go to my friend's mom's house who is a notary. Always a friend's mom. My friend's mom's gonna stamp this. Yeah, it's like oh, let me go to my friend's mom's house who can is a notary
Starting point is 00:09:05 My friend's mom's gonna stamp this paper now. It's official. Yeah. Yeah, Stephen's mom. That's the difference here Stupid process always my whole life. I'm just like what I have to get this what I'd get it signed by hello something official courthouse No, not a courthouse really just Jack's mom your whole life something official, courthouse, no, not a courthouse. Really? Just Jack's mom. Your whole life, huh? Somebody who's got ink in an office. Now I can do something, now I can go on this field trip.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Because this has been notarized. Let me get one of those stamps, I'll be a notary. Do you understand what's gonna happen? There's a process. It's a good process. You sign up, you pay $50, and all of a sudden I'm a notary. No, you can't buy a stamp. I don't think it's a labyrinth either,
Starting point is 00:09:44 but you have to fill out some paperwork. Look it up, Jeremy, I wanna'm a notary. No, no, you can't buy a stamp. I don't think it's a labyrinth either, but you have to fill out some paperwork. Look it up. Jeremy, I wanna become a notary this week. Okay, I don't think it can happen that fast. And first of all, I think that you have to do work. For $147, it could happen that fast, I believe. There's notary packages on floridanotarieservice.com, starting at 94 bucks, Chris.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Buy one. Oh, really? I wanna be a notary. That's a deal. So hold on, you're saying that, no, no, I will not believe that the only thing you need to make something legal and notarized is ordering it on Amazon, a $97 stamp. I think there may be some legal issues too.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Like if you notarize something that then becomes illegal, you're on the- My mom's a lawyer. It's fine. There has to be a course or something. There's a three hour online course. Okay, thank you. I will be a notary tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:10:29 I will be a notary. There has to be training. I knew there had to be something. It's three hours though. It's a ridiculous thing. We can all agree. Is it? I think so.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Going through legally binding things to ensure that you're not trafficking in corruption? Kyle's mom's busy today, so you're gonna have to get it notarized tomorrow. You know, you only get a four year term as a notary. Wow. How about that? I believe notaries are holding together democracy right now.
Starting point is 00:10:53 They're not doing a very good job. No they are not, they've got no chance. We need more of them. We need more Chris Cotes. This is you, you need to do this as a patriot on behalf of governance. On behalf. Down the middle. I will notarize both sides.
Starting point is 00:11:09 I want you to be on behalf of rules. I want you to stand strong and I want three hours of content from you in the meeting to get notarized because I don't believe. I believe you should get a bonus if you arrive tomorrow as someone who can confirm something, confirming, but officially notarized by you because you went through a legal process.
Starting point is 00:11:30 How strict of a notary would you be? Any friend that comes up and asks you, you're like, yeah, it's cool. I'll solve it. I'm going to take every case individually. No, you're not. I'm going to really see what's what, make sure my T's are crossed and my I's are dotted. That's obnoxious then. Florida is one of 21 states that requires a course
Starting point is 00:11:47 to become a notary, but 26 of them require you to pass an exam. Look, he's out. So you actually have the easier way here. There's only, I think, what, three that don't require anything? Look at the child in nepotism. Nope, it's going to take work now. Not so interested in making sure that notary's saved. He wanted dad just to hand him the stamp.
Starting point is 00:12:03 I'll take a look at the, see what works. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm familiar with this man's work. I'll see what's what. Yep. And this is the metal arcway right here. I'll see what's what and then a cloud of smoke and then nothing gets done and we never talk about it again. It's his form of leadership. Notarized. He thinks I have not seen it. He thinks I don't see him. I have notarized this conversation Can I do a class online that I'm farting around watching a Panthers playoff game and just having my body my way having my daughter Click yes a couple of times or or buy a thing that just jiggles the mouse to trick people To a fan the fan goes back and forth.
Starting point is 00:12:45 It's, do you realize how quickly that happened? How quickly we went from notarized, that'll be easy. Oh, Florida makes you take a course, I'm out. I'm not driving in my car and going anywhere. Oh, online course? Jeremy, look that up. It's a three hour online course. It takes two to four weeks to get commissioned.
Starting point is 00:13:11 And then you have a four year run. I'll do it. Maybe not by tomorrow, but sometime this week. What color official notary seal stamp would you like? They have black, they have yellow, they have orange, they have purple, pink, blue, and red. Blue. Okay, I'll also like that move forward for you.
Starting point is 00:13:25 All of you are anti-notary. All of you don't believe in just having. Suboxys. It really is. Name something I got notarized that was like really important in my life. Cause I don't even remember. What shit did we have to get notarized?
Starting point is 00:13:37 I got something notarized at my wife's school recently. That's right, my wedding thing. Your wedding. That's right. Your wedding. Recently though. Shout out Alex's mom for doing that. Your wedding. That's right. Your wedding. Recently though. Shout out Alex's mom for doing that.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Your wedding. I think it's like a two for one though, Dan. The person that's getting you married in the courthouse is also a notary so you kind of go pff, pff, two for one and you go. I mean that's, alright, I'll give you that one, but I was, I feel like there was things in high school. I had to get shit notarized for like if I want to go on a field trip, if I want to play this sport.
Starting point is 00:14:02 What, I want the accusation levied loudly and proudly. What are you saying about notaries? State it clearly and once so we can all hear. I just remember growing up, I had to do it multiple times, and every time I was like, why is my friend's mom stamping this thing, and now it's not.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Not an answer to my question. I don't remember. What are you, what did I have to get? You reminded me of the marriage. I guess that had to get notarized. I don't remember what shit I got notarized. I remember getting stuff notarized. I just don't remember what.
Starting point is 00:14:27 To Dan's point, say what you wanna say and say it clearly. We all know what you wanna say. Just say it. I want to know what your thoughts are on notaries. Quit lashing out at me. Defend your position. It's an unnecessary exercise. They're useless, that's what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:14:44 The most unnecessary of anything we do in society. We could do without it. If it just went away, notarized, notary, gone. So overrated. From existence. So overrated. Overrated. It's an underrated annoyance, actually.
Starting point is 00:15:01 But it's an underrated. That's a good point. What's another underrated annoyance? Locked in, Chris. What do you mean it's an underrated annoyance? Locked in. What do you mean it's an underrated. It's a good point. What's another underrated annoyance? Locked in, Chris. What do you mean it's an underrated annoyance? Locked in. What do you mean it's an underrated annoyance? Getting something notarized is underrated annoyance.
Starting point is 00:15:12 It really is. But if I say annoying things, you're not gonna think of that. So you're saying. Unless you're in it, and you need someone to notarize something. That's what I was saying about the tooth. You guys are saying that an underrated annoyance
Starting point is 00:15:21 is a top five, having to get something notarized? It's the worst. The worst? You don't wanna do it. Go get something notarized today. The worst? The worst. I'm gonna hand you a piece of paper and then you're gonna go get it notarized. And that's gonna make your day worse.
Starting point is 00:15:35 That's true. It is. Do we have a notary in here? Finally, finally. Kyle's mom is available today if you need though. I can get her to notarize it for you. Hey guys, it's Lucy. and I'm about to tell you about the most incredible, unforgettable gift
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Starting point is 00:16:43 That's goldbelly.com code GBF for free shipping and 20% off your first order. Ever feel like your paycheck disappeared before you even know where it went? You're not alone. Tracking your spending can be tricky, especially when little expenses sneak up on you. Late night food deliveries, I'm raising my hand that happens to me all the time, impulse online shopping, sporting event tickets, and don't even get me started on organic baby wipes and diapers. I mean that's costing me a fortune right now. Finances can feel overwhelming but Monarch Money makes it simple. Think of it as your personal CFO, giving you full visibility and control so you can stop just earning and start growing. More than just a budgeting app, Monarch Money is a complete financial command center,
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Starting point is 00:17:54 That's 50% off your first year at MonarchMoney.com with code Dan, D-A-N. Hey friends, it's Jarrah Bear here, and I'm here to tell you all about Boost Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second and put on my serious voice, because I would never ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of America. Seriously. Visit BoostMobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The boost mobile network together with our roaming partners covers 99% of the US population 5g speeds not available in all areas. Don Lebertard your history with him suggests three years of those three years of heaters but this stugatz, my partner enlivened by a sportsman.
Starting point is 00:19:07 We're having sex, baby. And Joe Mauer, yes, like this is the best version of him. What? Stugatz. No, you are. Yeah. The, the, the, Stugatz. Feels good.
Starting point is 00:19:18 This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugatz. ["The Stugatz Show Theme"] with the StuGuts. Let's do StuGuts' weekend observations. You're not even ready for it because you're over there. It is time for StuGuts to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy Stu. Underrated annoyances, Samson would still be number one, right? He's on all the list
Starting point is 00:19:48 weekend observations brought to you by Miller lights Dan Once extremely popular his people turned on him They killed him and his death was a brutal one crucified but and his death was a brutal one, crucified. But you know what they say? They say you can't keep a good man down. And this man, he rose.
Starting point is 00:20:14 And Dan, on the third day, just like that, make no mistake about it, Jesus Christ is back. Big comeback. JC, son of God, the King of Kings. Also, Dan. It's your observation. I appreciate it. Sent me a little text on a Sunday. I enjoyed it. Speaking of back, the NBA second season. Speaking of back, the NFL draft. Speaking of back, the NBA second season. Speaking of back, the NFL draft. Speaking of back, Mel Kuiper Jr. Oh my God, what a weak pearl gym. T-Wolves, Lakers, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Your series started. Nobody loves a mock draft like Mel Kuiper loves a mock draft. You know what the M in Mel Kiper stands for Dano? Mock draft. You got wow you're on it today. Also we'll be on God bless football this week. Every time I watch hockey, I wonder why don't I watch it more then the game ends and I won't
Starting point is 00:21:20 watch it again for a couple of months. Happens all the time. The Knicks going on a 21-0 run in Madison Square Garden. The Mecca, hey Pistons, welcome to the playoffs. The Jets play a sport that awards you seven points per score, and yet the Knicks have more 21-0 runs. I hate them. Dan, we had a Christian Leitner type moment
Starting point is 00:21:46 over the weekend. You'll never forget where you were when campaign saved the Knicks season. Where were you, Dana? Was on your list? Where were you, James? I was fiddling with my wifi. Gangster.
Starting point is 00:22:05 I'm taking it right now. If the Knicks win a title, they are gonna pop the campaign. How about that? That's good, I like that. Thank you, it's mine. You should try to trademark that. Actually, you know what?
Starting point is 00:22:19 Pop the campaign is something that right now should be a T-shirt. You should take over. You should right now make sure to do whatever you need to do so that you're profiting off of, that is a great slogan. Thank you. What do I do now?
Starting point is 00:22:36 You gotta stop what you're doing. Someone on the Knicks is on that, right? You gotta stop what you're doing and you gotta tell Angel, you gotta tell somebody in our company that you've got a business idea. Have to get it notarized for sure though. Samson?
Starting point is 00:22:48 By David Samson probably, yeah. I'm sure he's a notary. I mean for sure. So obnoxious. Marvin Bagley Jr. with the rare half-court buzzer beater to cut the lead to 49. Also, had no idea he was on the Grizzlies. The Grizz. It was definitely Taylor Jenkins' fault.
Starting point is 00:23:15 That seems a disaster. John Moran said, we'll never play worse than that. You can't play worse than that. Even if you tried to play worse than that, you cannot play worse than the Memphis Griiglies played. Oh, Taylor Jenkins. Were there any grenade celebrations from Ja? Uh, they were down by 53 at one point. So that's a no. Yeah. If you look up swept in the first round in the dictionary, you'd see a picture of
Starting point is 00:23:41 this Orlando Magic team. Team is done. you'd see a picture of this Orlando Magic team. Team is done. Put it on the poll. They really are, right? I care was really good though. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. Enjoy his last three games of the year. Put it on the poll.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Are notaries obnoxious at Levitard show? Hey, Jesus Christ, if you have twelve apostles, you have none. Whoa. I mean, Dan, you know what they say. If you have twelve, I mean, you don't have one. Top five people in sports who can note Easter. Oli, David De Jesus. Number five, Hank Basket. Number four, Dan Pasqua. That's a good one, right? That is a good one.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Thank you. That is a good one. Thank you. Thank you. Number three, Kareem Hunt. Number two, Rich Eggy. Number two, Rich Eggy. Number two, Rich Eggy. That's not right. That's ridiculous what you just did.
Starting point is 00:24:50 That's not right. That's ridiculous what you just did. Update anchor. Yeah, it's ridiculous. 790 update anchor who worked for like nine months in 2001. 790 update anchor who worked for like nine months in 2001. 790 update anchor who worked for like nine months in 2001. The six people who got that joke think it's funny. Thank you. I did it for the six. Not a one of them is listening
Starting point is 00:25:05 Oh the grunt fast might be listed that you got that right that is a joke that only works if you're Rick Rich eggy or rich eggy adjacent There are very few people in our audience who are either of those things Either rich eggy or rich Eggy Adjacent. Rich Eggy Adjacent is a funny term. It really is. Count! Number one, Burke Baden Hop.
Starting point is 00:25:36 The Hopper. Centerpiece, the Miguel Cabrera trade. I know, do you believe it? Running our company Be a means of David probably should stop here come the Mets The Mets there the Metropolitan's you noticed Looks like we'll have to wait another year for Dan's dream finals matchup of Clippers Pacers.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Oh, don't give up on it yet. Do not give up on it yet. Fear not though, guys. We still have the Rays. You're the weirdest sports fan, man. Stugat, Chandler Simpson's been called up for the Rays. He stole 104 bases in 110 games last year. One of the fastest humans I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:26:27 Can't get here fast enough. Rays baseball, baby. Seventh best prospect in the system. Wow, really? Yeah, they called him up to the big leagues. He can fly. Exciting. Harris English.
Starting point is 00:26:42 The most British sounding name of all time. He's from Georgia The Thunder could win the NBA title and I still wouldn't be able to tell you who their head coach was Can you name him now You don't know the name. Yes to God's this is this someone knows the thunder head coach in there This is a joke from last year. Yes, but it's got your it's got it's hard to spell very I think I'm not gonna win I think a lot of people would have trouble spell most people would spell it wrong. You don't know I'm not gonna take a quiz Anyway, I think everyone no one
Starting point is 00:27:24 No, you smoked out Chris Cody Chris does not Chris Cody's and I like you want Mina times on Celebrity Jeopardy Mina I'm proud of you and it's gonna pay me to say this but you choked Mina do it in the semi-finals, and then do it again in the finals. I mean, if we're being honest, if you think you might be away for nine days, you pack for nine days. What are we doing with smallster here?
Starting point is 00:27:57 I pack for nine days. That's why we won. I think I'm going away for nine. I pack for nine. Would have been inconvenient if they packed for less and they had to go home and then go back. It's inefficient. Right.
Starting point is 00:28:10 What are we doing there? Anyway. Should I apologize to Mina? To who? Mina, I feel bad. I mean, we love her. Well, uh, well, what, you wrote those and you read them and now you feel bad, But she actually leaned into it,
Starting point is 00:28:26 physically leaned into it and said to Ken Jennings, scared money don't make money. I couldn't believe, like she, that was the most gangster of wifi things. Jason Hayward, Padre. Look at this, can you guys look at this? Look at what we have here. Mina, I'm sorry, Stu Gotts.
Starting point is 00:28:47 I don't mean to do this to you. I just couldn't believe that after losing this way, losing because her math was a little faulty, losing and it tripping over the finish line, she still leaned into great confidence. And you don't have to kick yourself, I think, because the way it worked out with Dave being the only one who knew final.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Listen, yeah, I would have been more mad if I had done the math wrong. And once that was, I was like, all right, you know, because that would have just been embarrassing. Well, you made small wagers on who you ended up knowing, on Nero, and then. Scared money don't make money. I take back everything I said.
Starting point is 00:29:24 I've never seen me that confidence It was incredible she didn't choke after after no, but after choking. Oh you said it She's like leaning to the right to super confident. It's incredible television Did you hear what I said yes Jason Hayward Padre Padre is a great but Jason Hayward's on the Padres you hear what I said? Yes. Jason Hayward. Padre. Padres are great. But Jason Hayward's on the Padres. J Hay Kid. Damn,
Starting point is 00:29:56 when you've got two strikes on Juan Soto, you know where he has you? Right where he wants you. He's incredible. Yes, he is. Oh, the Mets got a good one Stugats you wandering over to sports after 18 months is interesting. Yeah, like in a way Operation blooming onion, what do you think about Mark Dagon? All Sue? Oh Do you not know who that is? No
Starting point is 00:30:23 Just wonder how can you not know who that is that? Measuring into things that it's a Padre Oh Utility infielder so is Jason Heyward He's not a utility infielder. No, you totally outfield it. Although everyone is a first baseman that really crazy how that changed, huh weird I'm embarrassed to admit this. I thought the creator of the White Lotus, Mike White, was the NFL quarterback, Mike White. Thought it was weird that HBO would give him a show. I did. I had under 11 and a half runs in Cubs and Diamondbacks. It was 2-1 Cubs in the seventh inning.
Starting point is 00:31:03 It finished 13-11 Cubs. What the hell happened to that Phillies Marlins game? Baseball. Javi Sanoha happened, Dan. Javi Sanoha, Tony! You haven't heard of Javier Sanoha? That absolutely sounds like an ailment you can make fun of because no one dies from it. There's Sanoha on my back. That is absolutely an illness of some sort. That was not a marlin.
Starting point is 00:31:31 In fact, let's play a new game. Find marlin names and let's find which one sounds the most like an illness. Also name the Thunder Coach. We just did! He just asked you! Oh, that was it. Dagny, you looked it up. He bails halfway through the name.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Daggy. I got a bad case of Mervis. Lester relegated from the Premier League to the championship. Based on the name alone, I'd rather win the championship. Wouldn't you? Premier Championship, right? Seems bigger. Which is bigger? Premier.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Tip of the cap to one Reese Davis on his new seven year deal to stay with ESPN after being heavily pursued by Fox Sports. When you think of a class act, you think of Reese Davis. Also Fox Sports, call me. Hey, Klay Thompson, here's your reminder that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. How much do you think Nico Harrison
Starting point is 00:32:43 is rooting against the Lakers this playoffs? Dan, did you see someone ask Klay Thompson after the last game in the locker room if he knew what the team was going to look like now, would he have still signed with the Mavericks? Balls to ask that question. If the Lakers win a title with Luca, they're going to build Nico Harrison a statue in LA. I'm sure Maverick fans were devastated that the Lakers lost game one. Phonies. If the Mavericks win a title with Anthony Davis before Luca wins one with the Lakers,
Starting point is 00:33:19 Maverick fans will still be mad at Nico Harrison. They are a bunch of phonies those fans. Seriously. We didn't understand what you said. What kind of fans? They're phonies. The Maverick fans. I mean they're rooting for the Lakers. Rooting against their own GM. There was not a better cameraman moment this weekend. Was there nobody in sports had a better weekend than cameraman who went straight from Anthony Davis limping toward the sidelines to Nico's face on the sidelines, correct? That was of the weekend, no director's team,
Starting point is 00:33:51 no television truck. This was what the Masters did last week with McElroy. That director definitely Jeremy-style fist pumped after that cut. Right? Like the director was just like, yes. Yes, like that was just camera work and Nico is sinking straight into the part.
Starting point is 00:34:09 That is side eye. That is official side eye. That is his eyes trying to leave the frame and the rest of him will get there in a moment because of how embarrassed he is by that's the worst thing that could possibly happen here. I've got a bad case of Declan Cronin. How many do you have?
Starting point is 00:34:28 How many how many Marlins names would pass for illness? Lake Bacher disease? Oh, wow, that sounds awful. That's kind of the best one I got. That's pretty good. The doctor said he said Lake Bacher. Two thirds. That's why you pronounced it wrong. The doctor said he said Lake Bokner. Two-thirds. That's why you pronounced it wrong.
Starting point is 00:34:50 How do you pronounce it? I love watching a position player pitch in a blowout. Do you? It's the best. So is what? I want it in other sports. I want like a punter to be the quarterback in the fourth quarter in like an NFL blowout. You guys like that?
Starting point is 00:35:06 I did, he just throws meatballs. The Jets did that for real. Tom Tupa was a punter who was their backup quarterback. That was something the Jets did. But you guys, so, but the game is 13 to four. Why are you even watching that game anymore? Because there's a position player now pitching. Throwing like 68 miles an hour.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Meatballs. Well you saw Ichiro came out there to throw a first pitch the other day in full uniform and gassed it up to 84 miles an hour. I like it. They should do that in basketball when you honor a player the next season and he comes out in uniform. If you're diagnosed with Lake Bacher disease, you're prescribed with calquantril. Oh wow. It's unfortunate. Can you imagine if one day the Heat retired LeBron jersey comes to center court wearing a Heat jersey?
Starting point is 00:35:53 It's in full Heat uniform? It'd be amazing. Every golf tournament should have a regular person in the field, just so we can see how hard the course is. Have a television crew follow him and call it AmCam. You're welcome. 80-20 my way. That's a really good idea. It's tailored.
Starting point is 00:36:16 Seeing Denning Company at the Sphere, the rare once in a lifetime experience that I've done 26 times. But you know what they say, Dan? Every time feels like the first time. If something happens on the Dan LeBattard show, you can guarantee awful announcing is going to write about it.
Starting point is 00:36:35 How does that happen? Things you think about on a gummy while sitting in the bleachers in Evanston, Illinois, at a Northwestern lacrosse game. Remember when the Astros had a hill in their outfield? I do remember that. That's what I was thinking about. They had a hill in the outfield and the pole. Yes. Was in the outfield. In the outfield. Yes.
Starting point is 00:36:59 Yeah, it was like 435 feet away though. Like back then, it seemed impossible that anyone would ever feet away though. Like back then, it seemed impossible that anyone would ever hit the fall of that one. Like you guys do understand that that was designed that way because of how rarely, now that's where singles go to land. Oh, but Jim Edmonds on that hill. Oh boy. On the road.
Starting point is 00:37:19 So good. Patrol in center field. Whenever somebody hits a far drive that goes in the middle of the fairway, I have to turn to the person next to me and say, that dog will hunt. Taylor, who got that from Chris Cody? I've heard Chris Cody say that. It's my saying.
Starting point is 00:37:35 It's not your saying. It's everyone saying. And it's all people who look like you. Either that or let the big dog eat. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm sorry. I can't make it. I, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't make it
Starting point is 00:37:45 I have to no-go hmm. I'm sorry If you bet on the Devils to win a playoff game in the Bible belts on Easter Sunday What the hell were you thinking? Speaking of hell or Pryles Dan those are the weekend speaking of hell or bryles those or the weekend observations stood outside want to talk about the lakers and i want to talk about the nfl draft i i know that people want to talk about
Starting point is 00:38:11 these things but you mentioned taylor couple of times there and you also mentioned earlier in the show getting someone tickets who did you get tickets to what what what i got mike ryan a uh... a couple of tickets for him in the and a few friends uh... Sphere, Ded and Company, on Thursday night. Okay, and so I have been sent a text here from an informed source writing, Stu said he got Mike Ryan tickets to Ded and Company. Mike Ryan had to pay for them. Can you say you got someone tickets if they had to pay for them?
Starting point is 00:38:43 Mike did have to pay for them, face value. I told him that up front. No, that's not really, I just, you know, I had access to tickets that were face value and I got them for them. Okay, but the question being asked- I didn't get him tickets, I didn't buy the tickets. I think- To answer your question, Dan,
Starting point is 00:38:56 if you are getting me face value tickets when only second market are available, that is a hookup that is getting someone tickets. I would consider. I agree, I think Stu got Scottum him tickets. So a source here though writes in that he did this to me with Nick's heat when I asked for tickets for my birthday. He sent me a guy's number and the guy said, what's your budget? Really exposed your source there, Dan. Send them to his guy though, right? His guy was supposed to take care of him. The
Starting point is 00:39:23 source. I'm just, I'm asking, I'm simply asking you guys what, for a clarification on something he's being accused of here because I don't know what the definition of this should be. He's saying he got Mike Ryan tickets. Mike Ryan may say, yes, he got me tickets. Those are hard tickets to get. I'm asking because he's being accused by text of just hooking up, he's hooking up people with a guy but those tickets may or may not be hard to get if you have a budget. I think there are two forms of getting someone tickets. You can get
Starting point is 00:39:56 them tickets for free which was not an option for for debt and company at the sphere or you can get them tickets that only exist in the secondary market. I think that's still getting someone tickets. I think he had no other way of at the company, at the sphere, or you can get them tickets that only exist in the secondary market. I think that's still getting someone tickets. I think he had no other way of getting them. Yeah, I think if tickets are incredibly difficult to get your hands on, I've been through this before, to be honest with you, if someone is able to set you up
Starting point is 00:40:16 with someone who can then get you the tickets at a regular price, you got them tickets. LeBron James and Luca in the first round they get beat up in the first game at home by a Minnesota team that we all know is going to be more athletic and more vibrant and I heard after the game something that I was not expecting JJ Reddick to say the wolves physically caught us off guard. What was surprising about that? Like the main flaw you have here is they're going to physically catch you off guard all series because their size is a problem. Hopefully for the Lakers
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