The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Big Suey: Wild Willy’s All The Smoke Conclave Update (feat. noted liar David Samson)
Episode Date: May 7, 2025My Neck, My Back, My Clavicle Has Cracked. It's time for a game of "If The Shoe Was On The Other Foot." Mike accuses Boris Sanchez of dying his beard. Samson reveals which former NBA Player whose name... rhymes with Fall Fierce likes when you call him "daddy." It was an hour. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Welcome to the Big Sui presented by DraftKings.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBattard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries.
If they're just there, that hasn't happened to you guys.
I've done it. to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys?
I've done it.
And now, here's the marching man to nowhere,
fat face, and the habitual liar.
This episode is presented by DraftKings.
DraftKings, the crown is yours.
And here's David Sampson scratching his eyebrows,
already looking annoyed.
I don't know why, like David, you come in, you look sour.
Are you happy to be at work today?
I couldn't be happier.
It's Wednesday's my favorite day coming on with you guys.
Had a great Nothing Personal this morning.
So much going on.
I am jacked up and ready.
What was great about Nothing Personal today?
Oh, just being able to talk about what happened in Pittsburgh.
So much of my audience was curious.
And Stu, I'm sure you didn't hear the show during traffic,
but you could have.
But a lot of talk, though, it's not rated anymore.
So maybe it doesn't come on your feed.
But that, yes, there was a fight between a game day employee and a fan.
And that does not happen every day.
And everything seems to be happening to Pittsburgh this season.
It's been a nightmare for them.
There's a lot under the umbrella of everything
seems to be happening in Pittsburgh,
because we didn't even get to the story,
is that a human being falling out of the stands?
Yeah, that was a human being
who broke his back, neck, and clavicle.
Why are you laughing during that?
Oh, I...
Why would you laugh during that?
It was your transition, I think. No, but broke his neck and clavicle, Why are you laughing during that? Why would you laugh during that?
It was your transition, I think.
No, but broke his neck and clavicle and what else?
You can't laugh when you're saying that.
What would you have given him, David?
Like what is the compensation had that happened when you were president?
So I got a funny one for you, Billy.
Someone contacted me and said, would I pay for in that situation
were I to be president of the team,
all of his medical bills?
And the answer was no.
It wouldn't even be a thought of mine
to pay the medical bills.
What we did is provide first responder help immediately.
Both team trainers were there.
We made sure that he got to the hospital,
in the ambulance and you know,
a follow-up card with a little PR statement
saying we're sorry and we hope you get better.
But come on, it's not our responsibility.
You can't fall out of the stands,
no matter how jubilant you are,
with a double by Andrew McCutcheon.
But don't worry, they did the investigation.
He had two beers, only two beers.
Wow, so he was at fault.
Is that why you would field teams
that wouldn't get exciting,
like excitement out of the crowds,
and it would jump out of the stands
By accident how often do you see that exactly? I?
Just don't understand how you're sitting here
Giggling during you you were legitimately giggling
No, stop it stop it
Look if we went back if we went back and, David,
if we went back and played this video right now,
this is appalling.
You'd hear a giggle.
This is appalling and you are appalling.
You were absolutely giggling.
I said we didn't even get to the video
of a human being falling out of the stands
and you gleefully said, yeah,
he broke his back, neck, and clavicle
and you were laughing about it
So you accused me when we started four minutes late saying oh you look down
Are you happy to be at work?
And I was saying I'm great like everything's good and then you're like by the way a guy almost croaked in the stands
I'm like yeah, but he didn't it was just neck back and clavicle now. We know why he's mad
I mean because you were four minutes late?
No traffic to do it.
When's the last time you were late, Sam?
When's the last time you were late to anything?
I'm not late, but again, it doesn't matter.
You have stuff to do, you have a show to run,
I'm very happy for you.
No, but no, wait a minute, are you ever late?
What do you mean, it's not?
I'm very happy.
You're tension here.
You have stuff to do, I'm very happy for you.
You're onboarding, like, today, like onboarding the show,
onboarding me and me, and onboarding David.
Let's turn the vibes around.
Pressing me on personal medical information.
It's appalling what he's saying.
I want you guys to imagine, okay,
David Sampson runs the pirate.
A human being has jumped in a video
to what could be their death.
And instead, thankfully, it was only all these horrible things that will mean limping through
the rest of your life because those things aren't meant to be broken at one time.
A horrible fall.
How soon would you have arrived with paperwork and lawyers and what would you have offered
to get off the hook for what can possibly be there as you say, two beers, you had two
beers because you went straight to lawyer on, if you say, two beers, you had two beers
because you went straight to lawyer on,
if you've had two beers, that broken back is your fault.
Oh, I would take the over on two beers, by the way,
for that gentleman, but it doesn't matter
because I think he may have been underage,
in which case it may have been an issue all the way around.
So what I'm doing is I am looking for a settlement
of some sort of
some sort of monetary settlement very quickly in case there's a lawsuit that would come.
This is not an autograph bad or ball situation. It's not a meet and greet. It's nothing like that.
This is when you've got to bring out the checkbook and you've got to try to see what is going on
with him and his family. But I would make it very clear that we were not at fault. The railings were set to code,
that we did everything we were supposed to do,
including responding to it immediately
with life-saving care.
But in this world of litigation,
we'd have to settle at an amount,
but no, I wouldn't want it much higher than five figures.
Can we play a game that I like to call
if the shoe was on the other foot?
So let's say David Sampson was taking in a Pirates game
and he was there and all of a sudden,
Pirates are doing well, you get excited and,
whoa, whoa, you slip and fall onto the field.
What does David Sampson do?
First of all, I've been really excited at games before.
I don't know how you, if you look at the video of how it happened and I don't want to assign
blame though that's what lawyers do.
You actually do in a negligence case assign what percentage of blame each side has and
that's how you get informed as to what the monetary payment is.
But it's impossible to look at that video and say that the pirates were 100% to blame
for what happened.
And I don't know if you want to show the video or if we can, I don't want to get us in trouble
because it's graphic.
But at the end of the day, if you zero up into it, which we'd have camera angles and
we'd have zoom capabilities, it was not like, hey, like doing the wave like, and then it
doesn't, it's not how it happened.
I don't think you're playing this game right.
I don't think that the shoe was on the other foot here.
You're still, this is still very much lawyer speak.
Yes.
Like I don't think it-
You want me to be the one on my back
with raccoon eyes bleeding out of my ears
and asking what I'd ask for?
I don't want-
Just put the shoe on the other foot.
I don't want to think-
He just wants the shoe on the other foot.
If you were, what would you do?
Cause I don't think that the,
I don't think the approach you would take was,
well, the railing is adequately high for me.
I would sue the pirates, I'd sue MLB,
and I'd sue the city of Allegheny,
if that's a city or a county, I can't remember.
And I love Pittsburgh, but of course I would sue everyone.
I get a lawyer to do it on contingency,
and my first offer would be for pain and suffering.
I don't know if you saw this lawsuit,
one of the great lawsuits of all time.
A Colorado fan sued the NFL for $100 million
for emotional trauma, pain and suffering
because Shador Sanders went in the fifth round.
Yeah, that's serious.
And it's a real lawsuit.
I'm not making this up.
Of course it's not gonna win,
but I'm gonna sue if I'm the one who falls out of the small amount of money
You're talking about you arrived with a checkbook
The person's holding their neck and holding their clavicle and they're on a stretcher being taken off and you are literally saying
$4,000 no, I said five figures Dan. That's ten grand. Okay, so ten grand you're whispering next to the stretcher
We'll give you ten. No, no, no, I'm waiting to make sure he's not dead.
So, no.
Why waste 10 grand if the person's dead?
You don't need to give a dead person grand.
So wait a minute, so you, so wait, hold on, hold on.
So tell me how this transaction goes.
He's hoping for death.
Yeah, that's what it sounds like, honestly.
I love Wednesdays.
No, I'm not hoping for death. What are Mike and Amin laughing about?
What are Mike and Amin doing?
Boris is in the conclave here.
Boris and his really dark dyed beard
is in a virtual conclave.
Boris is a listener.
It's the first day of conclave
and I even have a chat devoted to this.
You know who the favorite is?
A Filipino.
Really?
I believe Boris's beard is natural.
I do too.
He's friend of the show, man.
Billy Whitney.
David, if you were the pirates,
do you take advantage and say,
hey Clemente family, you wanted your name on this wall.
Time to start paying up.
You don't actually think it's real.
Wait, which part?
It is wild.
The Clemente family and the issues with the pirates,
that is real.
This is ridiculous.
They wanted their name on that wall,
now someone's falling off of the wall now from part of the wall
I'm a say you wanted it being on this pirate thing. This is Brian Wilson levels
Whose beard are you talking about Mike the dude on on CNN right now?
Boris Sanchez is
We have we have by the way Dan if you want to get to it later,
we have a segment dedicated to the Papal Conclave.
We do?
Why can't we just do it right now?
You want to go to the green screen?
I don't know where I'm supposed to do it.
Wait a minute, what do you mean,
where are you supposed to do it?
It's Wow Willy Wednesday.
You're supposed to, I mean.
I'll go over there, yeah.
I don't know if we set up an image.
Do whatever you want.
I'll be over there.
Wait a minute, okay, so just explain to me
how Wow Willy Wednesday works.
Well, just toss it over to me when we're all set up.
I mean what kind of producing is that?
It's his day man.
You've been hit by a car?
A truck, a divide.
Billy, Billy, I need your help today.
He is helping you.
He's going to our own virtual conclave.
Let's do it a bit.
The only way to make this work Stu is that you have to put some dye in your cigarettes
that has white smoke and black smoke,
and that the conclave only ends
when you are dragging from a heater.
Can we please do that?
And out comes black smoke.
Can we please do, no.
Black smoke, Pope Tuesday, Wednesday.
No, Stu, do not do that.
I'm gonna be your lawyer here.
Thank you. Don't do that. Okay'm gonna be your lawyer here. Thank you.
Don't do that.
Okay, I need some help, Chris.
You gotta grab the reins on this, all right?
Wild Willy Wednesday is, I don't think Wild Willy,
Wild Willy Wednesday.
Okay, did we not do any production meetings
that asked on Wild Willy Wednesday
whether or not Wild Willy actually wanted Samson around?
Because Wild Willy is the only person in our our shows history to have won a debate with
david samson ariel hawani and a whole bunch of other people argue with david
samson but they all got emotional
and the only one who actually won one time david samson's only
talk loss as a lawyer blabbermouth who could talk his way out of anything
was to billy gill on our air our air because Billy Gill never got emotional that happened
I saw it happen Billy grew up right in front of our
There's that one time David got science wrong
Yeah, I remember that I get things wrong all the time Dan
No, so I but it is fun to deal with people who are emotional. It is not difficult at all. All right for sure
Okay, so you're very emotional.. Yes I am. I wish I were
less emotional that would be better for everybody involved. So do I. That's why Billy's
neck is broken because he's been hit by a suburban.
Billy what is Wild Willy Wednesday in that room? Tell me let's ride this
bucking bronco into riches and glory.
Okay well Dan so there's I don't know if you're aware of this is a papal
conclave going on right now
So Chris if you can we have intro music we have a new segment. It's called all the smoke
This is a ridiculous aesthetic for you Billy, I know it's unintentional and I'm sorry that you went through that but it is helping the bit
and I'm sorry that you went through that, but it is helping the bit.
I can't call it all the smoke.
Welcome to All the Smoke.
I'm Billy Gill with your latest update on the Papal Conclave.
At this moment, there is no new pope.
Back to you.
Thank you.
We'll be checking in.
Excellent on Wild Willy Wednesday.
Your neck brace like a papal collar
Can we please change the name of that segment Dan?
Why oh?
I don't know. I think that maybe there's another name that we can use then all this
I think we should do all the smoke and I think still got should wander in smoking heaters. Let's call it conclave
What do you so I mean, what kind of update are we
going to get here in the next few minutes,
and how mesmerizing is the beard?
Well, I texted Boris, and we're going
to get an update pretty soon on whether the beard is
or is not dyed.
It is.
Look at me, I'm the winner.
I don't care what Boris says.
It is.
You know what?
I don't think Mike gets enough credit here
as a real industry leader on he is the breaking news leader
throughout sports and maybe entertainment on,
hey, that person's things are fake.
Not hard to do that, Dan, when you accuse everybody
of dying their beard.
But he's never been wrong.
I've been wrong once.
No.
Yeah, you know me.
Twice.
Well, yeah.
David, I asked David, I was curious.
And I'm still not so sure, noted liar.
But Jeff Passon, I got that one wrong.
Wow.
I got that one wrong, and he FaceTimed me,
he walked me through it, and he's actually updated me
when Graves have started peeking through.
Walked you through it how?
He took offense to it, which if I weren't dying,
I would hit me up directly.
You're dying?
No, no, no, it's very funny.
You're very sharp.
Wild Willy Wednesday, I kinda like it.
Oh, you've never been invited!
No, but Jeff Passan, like, got the face time
and he walked me through the follicles
and I had that one wrong,
and I made an on-air correction
because I'm the first person to admit when I'm wrong.
But I'm also the first person to admit when I'm right.
Go talk to Jessie.
She knows for a fact that I don't dye my hair.
Look, you let the beard go.
When you let the beard go, you lean into the gray.
It's very odd that it just decides to stop
with the sideburns.
A lot of people are like JD Vance,
where it just starts at the sideburns
and you gotta try to figure it out.
You're an oddity in that way. You're an oddity in that way.
You're an oddity in a lot of ways.
That's, I'm just asking, ask the hair makeup people,
ask anyone who makes me look like I look today
and hair dye is not one of the things.
One and a half times.
Again, I got a hedge against your just noted reputation for lying.
Everyone else, basically, unless they give you
a walkthrough of their hair, you're going to gonna assume you're right I know Boris is dying that
beard how old is Boris? I don't think so. How old is Boris? Around my age probably from the 40s.
Okay Mike you're an industry leader yes or no Mike Ryan?
Boris is 39 yeah okay he's dying. Samson look we're in the information business
straight-edge we're in the information business Jeff passing is an information insider only in media now the information guys
Are the ones being paid Mike Ryan is an industry leader in hey your shits fake
And no one else breaks more stories in this regard anywhere in sports
Dan this is like saying that Senator McCarthy
was an industry leader in catching communists.
If everyone's a communist, then yeah, of course,
of course he's an industry leader.
No, but he's not wrong.
He's a volume shooter is what Amin is saying.
Everyone knows this is rockin'.
This is my beat.
I'm a volume shooter because no one can spot it
as many times as I can.
I'm the guy.
And it's Botox, it's filler, it's teeth, it's everything.
It's not just limited.
In fact, don't put me in just the hair dye box.
Don't put me in that.
I literally have, Ozempic is kind of touch and go.
Oh no, he doesn't just do hair dye.
He does teeth, he does, no, he does an assortment of body parts.
He's a thorough reporter.
I've been, and I don't want to do Ozempic because you never know.
Like I'll be up front and honest
I did some a glue tied two years ago, but this time slim down all natural just replicating it by
No one likes to hear it that said that what yes it does no one liked to own natural
Come on. You I just seen the photos of Diddy look that guy was running a con for decades
I'm not against I'll be honest, I never would have guessed.
That was his con?
That was it, yeah.
Well, I was referring, well, I hope most people assume
the con was a larger thing, but also additionally,
I mean, he was dyeing his hair like every day.
A side con?
Guys, we're on the hair beat.
We're not on the other gun beat.
I'm not on the human trafficking.
We're on the hair beat.
Yeah, and by the way, I can't play fast and loose
with human trafficking.
I need more evidence. The Pope, when are the updates coming on the human trafficking. We're on the hair beat. Yeah. And by the way, I can't play Fast and Loose with human trafficking. I need more evidence.
The Pope.
When are the updates coming on the Pope?
It doesn't seem like David likes the Pope.
Can we do another segment of All the Smoke?
David, you don't like the Pope?
David doesn't like the Pope.
Well, there is no Pope right now.
There is no Pope right now.
First of all, there is no Pope.
Second of all, I said I don't like the name.
Why?
I don't think we can go with All the Smoke.
I wanted to change the name
in the best interests of Metal Arc to a different name for the segment where we announce at
the end of each day through one of Stu Gotts heaters whether or not there's been a Pope
chosen. I just got a text back, not from Boris, but from Dom Kang. He says the entirety of
the smoke, the entirety of it. It's not as terrible, I mean.
And Stu Gott's, the only problem with this
is that you have to stay longer throughout the day
because the conclave, at the end of the day,
they decide whether they got one or not.
They do a vote, which you know from watching the movie,
which I'm sure you watched,
but the time difference is such that you'd have to stay
until about one o'clock Eastern time.
And I know that that can be problematic.
Samson, just out of curiosity,
cause they're sitting here saying.
What about Holy Smoke?
Ooh.
Holy Smoke is better.
Now we're talking.
I like all the smoke.
Well, Holy Smoke was also a movie, so that's not our IP.
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code Dan. Save 25% at TommyJohn.com slash Dan. Don LeBard. Where the mother f**ker Ruiz at?
Bring his ass on here.
Where's the mother f**ker Ruiz is a great question.
Stugats.
Running, huh? He running today, huh? I'm ready.
This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats.
Are we friends with all this far?
Yes, always.
Well, except for Paul Pierce Pierce who's occasionally around that yeah
What's going on? He can go kick rocks?
I told him to his face. Yeah routinely while also boycotting him and going to other places
See his face. No don't don't do that to me. No one has told Paul Pierce sucks more to his face
That's true. No, okay
Congratulations on that multiple I ducking Paul Pierce when I got here, it's because I can't stand the sight of the man.
He happens to be, Mike, a great guy in real life.
He's not. He's not.
He is a great guy.
No, he's not.
He's a dear friend.
He's a terrible basketball player.
He's a fun guy.
Worst person.
No, he's actually not.
And a little nugget about Paul Pierce. He likes when you call him daddy
Okay, I didn't know that
Giggling about about thank you for smoking
He likes when you call him daddy. What kind of contribution is that you grinning you grinning fool?
Are you fucking Paul Pierce, David? What?
What?
What's that?
What are you snorting in the middle of the segment
where you're saying that about Paul Pierce?
What's the matter with you?
Answer the man's question.
Answer it.
Calling someone daddy and making sweet, passionate love
are two totally different things.
Yes or no?
One Wednesday.
Sometimes we get that.
I'm a hard no on that.
Put it on the poll.
You're hard.
Put it on the poll, Juju.
Hey-o.
Hard no.
Is making sweet, passionate love
and calling someone daddy different?
I don't even understand what you just did there, Samson.
Please, I've got two questions for you, okay?
And they're important.
Answer them honestly.
Honestly. Why did you do that? Which part, Dan? part Dan all right start with let me go back for a second, okay?
Do you boning pole peers no I'd like to get away from that. Thank you
This is horrific
Here we go.
This is what I was afraid of.
This is what I was afraid of.
Wild Willy Wentz.
I don't want all the smoke.
Wild Willy Wentz, David.
I don't want all the smoke with Paul Pierce.
Yes, Mike wants to fight Paul Pierce.
Mike was gonna go do a party a year ago,
two years ago, where he showed up
to Paul Pierce's party in a wheelchair.
No one has done more in Paul Pierce's face
to tell him he sucks on behalf of Miami than Mike Ryan.
That is true.
That cannot be disputed.
Paul Pierce doesn't want that smoke.
He hasn't wanted that smoke.
And frankly, I think Mike Ryan has accused him of veneers.
Andy dyes his hair.
To his face!
Wow.
To his face!
And he hasn't denied it.
He wore it.
He wore it. He wore it like a champ. He's like you got me
You wear veneers is a great move
It's a real humbler in debate
Doing it for people not to notice right the other what is it con?
They're trying to prove like oh my teeth got better on their own like it out of here
You got the veneers. I'm gonna call them that don't deny it don't don't it's unnecessary
It's too vain of you to tell everybody I see your fake teeth. It's a yes a BS. Er. I've got one cap
Samson the other question I wanted to ask you noted liar
when you point at Stu got and you say of this papal series that everyone is watching
Conclave, Stugatz, which I'm sure you've watched. When you tell Stugatz, I'm sure you've watched
it and you say it with the smugness of knowing he's...
I watched.
He's... with the smugness of he wasn't listening to you You know, he wasn't listening to you. And when you say Stu got I'm sure you've watched you're lying
No, that's called sarcasm. Yes, I got totally different then then line
But I if you'd like to conflate the two then we can but what I was saying is Stu is so busy doing God knows what?
But what I was saying is Stu is so busy doing God knows what
Football not God knows what it's God bless
God knows God knows God knows foot Jesus. What is the matter with you? It's God bless football. It's not
God knows what it's a totally different podcast
Do I thought that you had started God knows what God. God Knows What is a totally better podcast.
Billy, buy the domain name before ESPN steals it from you.
God knows what.
ESPN's not who I'm worried about stealing it from me.
Let's do it.
Is it Samson you're worried about stealing it from you?
I already own it.
What do you mean, while we were talking?
God knows what?
I'm very busy right now.
Wait, you bought the domain name God knows what to compete against God Bless Football
right now?
Hey, Brett, I'm on the air live.
Could you please go buy God knows what, the domain name please?
You said you already did it!
Go get that.
You said you already did it!
I'm talking to 123 Brett live right now.
There he is.
God knows what. please go secure that.
I better secure an entire tear of smoke right now.
You know that scene in Pulp Fiction?
Check out the big brain on Brad,
but Samuel L. Jackson, by mistake in that scene,
mixed up the name of the character.
He calls him both Brad and Brett.
Wow.
Can one of you please put up on the poll here
at Levitard Show is making sweet, passionate love
and calling someone daddy different 58% so far say yes.
That means we already put that up on the poll.
Yes.
Yeah, well, I mean asked for it.
So that was quick work.
OK.
That's what we do.
Wow.
You asked for something to be on the poll.
I'm not used to things happening that quickly around here because an answer
quickly do we own it it's taken
that's right Dan Levatard I got the domain before anyone could move it You won one and get a new one. Check out the big brain on Brad. God knows what.
That's right Dan Levatard.
I got the domain before anyone could move expeditiously on it.
Tom Kang, strictly in the United States.
I thought that was Baby Billy.
Got something in his mouth this time.
It was slobbery.
It was slobbery.
I was excited.
It came.
That was funny.
Your Baby Billy's pretty good.
I didn't know you did one of those I
did for Halloween
Samson I you're bothering people here because what here we go once again just
Dan what what transition I mean, I think this one's gone pretty well. I mean he told us he's banging Paul Pierce
revelatory the truth
Paul Brett.
I'm sick and tired of your criticisms, Dan.
Just stop having me on the show then.
Every week it's like, ugh.
All you do is you ruin the show.
You listen to your three haters out there,
you ruin the show.
There's more of us than three.
You married this, David.
So do you have a review or something?
Believe me, I've got divorce attorneys at the ready.
You got a review for us or something?
Wait, what are you talking about?
I do.
Speaking of divorce.
No.
You want to get rid of him?
No, no, no.
I just want to not default to he sucks.
I mean, we've covered that ground.
He seems to not be having a lot of fun.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a Wild Willy Wednesday, and I'm
not usually here on Wednesday,
and you know what I've missed out on?
All the David Samson reviews,
and he actually has got quite good taste.
We rarely get to them.
It's a lot of just the criticism.
It's been something, Billy.
It's been, I've had four weeks in a row
of not getting to the review.
This one hit hard, though.
I don't know if anyone watched the four seasons,
the eight episodes.
I've seen the first half of it because it's got so many good people in it and they're
trying but the writing seems a bit stiff and predictable.
So the part that really hit home is when Steve Carell leaves his wife for a younger woman
and tries to win the younger woman in on the couple's trip and it ends up becoming sort of a nightmare in all sorts of ways.
So I resembled some of this show while also longing for the days of Alan Alda because
it's based on a movie that Alan Alda did back in 1981 and that many people I'm sure haven't
heard of.
And the concept is if you go away with the same four couples every year,
and of course they updated it
because now one of the couples is a gay couple
with Coleman Domingo and it's updated from the movie.
And it's fantastic in that regard
because couples can't go away
and get along year after year
because things change and marriages change
and relationships change.
And if you can find people you actually like to travel with,
you gotta hold on to that as long as you can
Because there are many many people who are not compatible in that way and this series talks about how you go through
Changes in people's lives while still trying to stay together as a group of friends. I haven't liked the first half of it
Would you recommend it? No, not unless you're divorced with a younger girlfriend
so if you're in that category, then I would do it.
If you're not in that category, you can skip it.
Or if you're older, you dye your hair
and you're thinking of getting divorced
because you wanna be with a younger girl,
then you should watch the last four episodes.
All right, can you?
Or if you're already with a younger girl,
then you can watch the last four episodes.
Younger woman, younger woman.
Woman, thank you, sorry.
Yes.
Depends how young, I suppose.
I would vote for woman, David.
David, if someone broke their,
went beyond breaking their neck at Marlins Park
and died falling out of the bleachers,
would you attend their funeral?
No, no, no.
David.
And we would make sure that wouldn't happen
because no one was ever in the bleachers.
It's a fair point.
Okay, but I'm saying that if something happens
on your watch and that person dies, is that, forgive me.
Chris, I didn't, it just broke out out of nowhere.
It just broke out. How am I gonna remind you to do that? I've't, it just broke out out of nowhere. It just broke out of nowhere.
I've got to remind you to do that.
I've never done it.
I mean, why?
I've never done it twice in a segment.
Every time.
If they mention ball peers again, you say the truth.
I've never done it twice.
It's a wild day, man.
No, that was amazing to watch in person,
where Mike just throws Stugatz a lasso.
Stugatz catches it two seconds late.
And Stugatz's reaction to Mike was,
I did the watch kind of bored in two seconds too late
10 minutes ago and you didn't catch it.
We all laugh.
You don't wanna do a Pearl Jam Thursday set.
I need the Saturday set.
Well, can we talk about this for a second?
Because have you and Sampson had this argument?
Have you and Sampson?
No, no, no, look, Pearl Jam's entitled to do
whatever they want with their shows.
They wanna play the same city two times and do a shitty set list one night
That's their prerogative and I it's my prerogative to be disappointed by it and just be disappointed that I frankly I picked the wrong night
All right. No, but wait a minute. You've calmed it down, but you came in here with well
They should be arrested for what they did to me. I mean
Give you nothing on Thursday. See my travel schedule lately. I had to carve out time for that
Dan we've got an update. Oh boy
From not quite the conclave but from close to it Boris Sanchez has checked in. Oh man, and he is denying all
Allegations. Oh my god saying absolutely bleeping not
studio lights and shadows make it look dark and he
sent photographic evidence of such I'm trying to get it uploaded right now into
the system to let everyone know he's got because the picture I'm looking at here
I'm seeing some grays Dan yeah that's that's admirable of them and I will wear
it I am constantly the trickiest thing about doing this beat
is the Turner lights.
The Turner lights are a problem.
Watching, well Kenny Smith is ridiculous,
we all know that one.
But watching their NHL coverage,
I'm constantly asking, is Biz dying his beard?
And he's constantly blaming the lights.
Now Lunkwes has tried to use that as an excuse too,
but get out of here with that.
Look at this, Mike.
Yeah, he's got plenty of grades,
like if I saw that on TV.
That's pre-die job.
So hold on, that's live, that's a live shot.
No, it's not live, he's wearing a t-shirt there.
He was just in the conclave.
He's off air now, that's what's happening.
Did they touch it up in post?
But here's the question, here's the question.
Mike, does this now give us two and a half times
you've been wrong?
Yes, yes.
Look, if the light's full me, the light's full me.
But I mean, the larger point is I know that beard
can't be that naturally dark.
Now, it was the lighting in the studio,
and straight up, thank you Boris for your honesty,
you've got Grey's way to lean in.
Had that one wrong, But the general sentiment was,
it's impossible for his beard to be that dark at that age.
So there was something going on there.
It was just television performance enhancing.
Can I give Boris a piece of advice?
Sure.
Dye your beard.
Looks terrible.
What?
Honestly.
You should dye it.
If people are gonna accuse you of dyeing it,
and you're just looking...
Might as well.
Yeah, look bad just to prove them wrong, just die it, who cares?
Well here's my thing though,
but Mike, how many times have you accused people
of dying their beard and maybe it was just studio lighting
the whole time?
It might have happened.
I could have been wrong more than two and a half,
but let me tell you something, like accuracy wise,
this is still over 99%.
I'll stack my credibility up against anybody
who's in this game.
You know what, hold on a second,
because Mike's doing this thing where he's being a
different kind of journalists these days hybrid journalist what i'm telling you
non-journalist insider no but this is what whatever the journalism insider
business is that is jeff passon and adam schafter and jay glazer risking mental
health issues and wode to get you the information first on a wild
Willy Wednesday. I can't believe that Mike's not giving you any of his sources here because
he's not giving up his sources and what no one knows is that Mike, this has been part
of the Metal Art budget, Mike has on staff a forensic sort of expert who works with us
every day and can vet these things out.
And after much research, and I'm sorry to do this to you, David, I think Jesse might
be able to prove for us that your hair, that that's fake what you're doing up there.
You claim all the time that it's real and you were not one of the places where Mike
got it wrong.
Wait.
No, he's got it.
You're 100% wrong.
This is not a hill you wanna die on.
You don't want to test this,
because you will lose, and I have already.
Thank you, Stu.
God, you're supposed to let it go.
You're supposed to just let it go.
I didn't say anything, man.
No, I believe David, because-
Maybe it's studio lighting in David's house.
Perhaps.
No, it just, look, I've gotten right up there while David's talking to people and I've seen
The yeah down there. I've seen the back. I'm like the coloring is a little off daddy
I don't understand like stop doing this just please. What are you doing?
He would go all the way with it. He would go out that was a short joke not a I wouldn't know he did it again with the
Daddy, he's creeping me out with the daddy in the grin
Do you call Paul Pierce daddy when you see him like hey daddy again the fight?
No, no one said that just ask
Daddy I'm just rude calls in that yeah, he likes to be called daddy, so I call him daddy
No, see this is... What?
Oh, sorry.
Not bad.
It is.
My bad.
This is, Jesse, get in here.
Jesse, get in here.
I don't believe anything that's happening here.
Look, Sampson's got this cone, this helmet of dye hair.
Like this is a helmet.
This is a baseball helmet of black hair.
No one ages this way.
He's in his late 50s.
You don't get gray.
Do you guys, have you guys seen a lot of gray in the beard,
totally gray beard, and then not a gray hair in the black? I don't know whether David Sampson is or isn't dying
or lying, but Mike Ryan, are you willing to stake your information journalist?
I know that David doesn't die his hair. He dies. He doesn't die his beard either. He's
I believe him when he says this. I believe him. But you got Jesse right here. I don't
understand. Like I believe him. Like why would you, why would you believe him when he says this. I believe him. But you got Jesse right here. I don't understand.
I believe him.
Why would you believe him when you have somebody
that isn't more of an-
Well, hopefully she can co-assign.
This is high drama, man.
We got a witness for the state that comes in.
What kind of journalism are you doing
where you say, I believe him, and we have some-
I'm doing actual journalism. I've gotten up in there.
What kind of journalism are you doing right there?
You're trying to attack me for my sources?
I have reported.
I initially had reported that David Sampson dies his hair,
then I did my own inspection,
and after more thorough investigation,
I retracted the report and corrected it
like a true insider.
Then why is it only a half?
Why didn't that count as a full-
Because you're a noted liar,
and I cannot discount the fact that you're just conning me.
Right, he has to leave room in the event that you are a liar.
Got a hedge, you're a special case.
What does it happen when noted liar Samson meets noted liar Stu Gotz and we're trying to do an investigation here and Samson can tell you, Jesse is on staff and she would reveal to you,
the people who make the makeup cost the most
are David Samson and Mike Ryan.
Don't, what are you shaking your head about?
What are you, what, why?
For the 15 days a year that I'm in the studio,
you're allocating the majority of the makeup budget to me?
I don't know what she paints you with.
A lot, whatever it is. And I don't know if she paints you with. A lot, whatever it is.
And I don't know if it's your hair.
God knows if you go in there and you just have like
orange hair that she paints every day
with whatever lacquer she puts on your head.
Can I just before Jesse takes a stand note
that a lot of makeup artists have to sign NDAs
so it's possible that she's not gonna tell us
the real information that David has already silenced her
because she'll have big clients
And can't really give us all of the info here
David does strike me as the kind of guy who takes the extra step of making someone sign an NDA before they work on them
What can the state I strike you as that I mean, but it's just not quite the case. You're a noted liar
By who Dan everybody are you are you speaking on behalf of my kids my ex-wife like who are you?
Everybody everybody everybody everybody
Marlins fans. Oh another good one. Thank you
So why they are literally thousands
Ten tens of thousands of thousands millions hundreds of thousands. Well, that's just a tactic Marlins fans. There's about scores
You you object you object to the reputation that you have as a noted liar?
I don't have that reputation except when I'm lucky enough and thankful enough to do your show
because I feel such gratefulness toward you.
Talk to my agent Lou.
For painting me that way.
Thanks Jesse.
We didn't get to the review, did we? Yes, we did.
Oh, yeah. Four seasons. I tuned it out.