The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Dolphins and Their Capsized Boat Of a Time | Local Hour

Episode Date: October 7, 2026

"You will not wriggle away." Visit catchphrases.thegregcoteshow.com, a very interesting website that many people are talking about. A local sports anchor snuck 16 Greg Cote Catchphrases into a newscast. That's catchphrases.thegregcoteshow.com. Joanthan Bailey recently recorded the sexiest damn audiobook you've ever read with your ears. Again, catchphrases.thegregcoteshow.com. The Tyson chicken man laughs like a serial killer. Click on catchphrases.thegregcoteshow.com. Jeff Hafley used an interesting metaphor to describe his team's future success. One more time: catchphrases.thegregcoteshow.com. Today's cast: Dan, Zaslow, Greg, Roy, Chris, Jeremy, Mike, and Roy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There is nothing casual about football season. You can tell yourself, you're just going to watch one game, and six hours later, you're emotionally invested in a fourth quarter between two teams you don't even care about. That's what I love about this time of year. The entire weekend becomes football. Your texting friends, tracking games, second-guess and coaches, convincing yourself you saw something before everybody else did. And then Monday comes around and you get to do the whole thing again.

Those are the weekends you remember. And for me, some of the best ones have usually involved some good people, a great game, and a cold Miller light. No matter what triumphs are in store this season, legendary game days start with Miller Light. Cold, crisp, refreshing, that clean finish. And it's part of plenty of memorable football weekends. Make Game Day legendary. Go to Miller Lite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller like pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Game time is Miller time. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories, and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low No Frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at nofrills.ca. We make Chevrolet vehicles, but what you do with them makes them so much more. You make them mobile offices.

your kids' personal taxi, a concert shuttle, your hockey equipment locker, your recording studio. We make a Chevrolet, but you make it a Chevy. Discover yours at Chevrolet.ca. We have another blessed me maximum situation. Greg Cody came in here today saying that he wants something else promoted with all of his other things that are promoted. He is starting the show strong with his coughing, and, uh, he is starting the show strong with his coughing. and he's put his books out and he has a website and a podcast and a substack. But he told me that he's got another website that he wants to promote.

He's now got multiple websites. Are you aware of this, Chris? Are you not aware of all of them? Ever since our World Cup thing, he's just upset. Now Yet he just has all these websites he's working on. My dad's a monster. Yet he loves doing that kind of thing. Yeah.

No, he does. You are insane. PFPI. Dot me is going strong, but we just introduced a new website called catchphrases. Dot the Greg Cody Show.com. You can go on this. Angelfire.gioCities. You can go on this website and vote on our catchphrase top 75.

And look at my Tumblr. I don't know what Tumblr means. This is a cool website, though. Ascheeze. Of the three websites we've created, this one's the best. If you're into these catchphrases that we've done over the last year, you can vote on, there's three different areas to vote. You can vote on your top 10. You can vote on just your favorite.

You can rearrange the whole 75. Wow. Catchphrases. Dot the Greg Cody Show.com slash angel fire slash geocities. Greg, what are you trying to do with this website and why are you proliferating websites? Like, why are they procreating like rabbits? I think they're an interesting way for listeners and viewers of our show to interact with the show, to be a part of the show. And I need money.

It's such a great idea that I predict the Levitart show is going to adopt it and start doing ancillary websites as well. Because it's a good idea. It involves people who've already, it's only been open a couple of days. We have a lot, a ton of votes so far. And what interests me is that some of the things I had ranked very low are getting. a lot of support for like the top 10 and everything. So we're going to obviously reveal the listener votes

in a future episode. It's very interesting. Thank you. As to do with me. A lot of people are talking about it. Me? I, with the group of people that we have here, we have a media company that has zero

websites. And Greg Cody has how many? You're saying he's got three websites now? PFPI. I.com. Right. Catchphrases. Dot the Greg Cody The World Cup website is sort of defunct because it was just active for those couple of months of the cup. So it's dead?

You can still call it up. The World Cup update website is no longer active, Dan, yet. Sunsetted. He started a website. What is that website? Short run for that website, Dan. Could people go to that if they just wanted to, let's see if we could get it a bump today? Transitioning to a 1440 website.

What was that called, Christopher, the World Cup website? I don't remember. World Cup. The Gregcody Show.com slash. It could be. You know what? I'm going to call that up right now. Just a...

Okay. Please. Please do that. You can't even remember... You can't even be bothered to remember the names of all of your website. I'm a busy man, Dan. You love to ask Chris. Hey, Chris, what's the name of the website?

And the entire Cody family can't remember the name of the website. It's coming up now. No, this site can't be reached. I either had the name wrong. It's defunct. You are listening to the Dan Levitar show, in partnership with the Drafkin Sports app, now live in all 50 states. This happens a lot around here. More to me than anyone, when someone is wearing a costume or one of these punishments, inevitably, we say that person looks better in the costume than they do normally.

And Jeremy Tashay just whispered to me during the open, I've changed Zasathe. Zaslow's look forever by making him dress today like Stanley Tucci from the Devil Wears Prada. He thinks that Zaz looks better and you can go for the replace fine bomb lane of being the college football expert who dresses like this and would fit right in with all of ESPN's voices and platforms on football as somebody who is just opining because you look very much like a bloated Stanley Tucci from the Devil Wears product. Congratulations. This is my look now.

Devil Weir, I'm proud to look like that. Devil Weir's product is one of my favorite movies. I don't care. I don't care if you judge me. I love that movie. I thought you were Andrew Zimmer. Did you see the second one? Of course. Yes, okay. I just told you it's one of my favorite movies. If you had a favorite movie, Dan, you're saying you wouldn't then see a sequel? What kind of logic is that?

Okay. Don't get snippy. Smirkconish is really uppity today. More confident than I'm used to from Zan. and he's plenty confident under normal circumstances. Before we get to the news of the day, I do want to celebrate somebody today because not to be outdone by, you know, those bums, Kevin Harland and, you know, Jason Benetti and Kyle Brandt,

all of whom have used a single catchphrase of Greg Cote's to honor him. Hayden Herrera, Arkansas's leading sports anchor for Fox, dropped a bunch of Greg Cody catchphrases nonsensically in the middle of his sports newscast. Well, I know everybody wants to know the Arkansas Texas A&M game. Who won? We're not going to show you that.

Only two Razorbacks ran in the men's 8K, but the women's team had a full squad for the 5K. We're rolling now, huh? Look at this kick down the home stretch, the definition of you never know. Combe giving it everything she has. It's a fight to the finish. And Combe gets the win by one tenth of a second, 1559. Absolutely incredible. Talk about me maximum. Braylin, good on you.

Number two, Georgia. Georgia moves to 5-0 with a 38-14 win over Vanderbilt. Russell threw for nearly 300 yards and had four total touchdowns. Very good. Just like that, the tider, 5-0. And you know what? Austin Simmons had two touchdowns and the Gators had no answers. That's a fact, Jack. A colossal win for Eli Drinkwitz in Missouri, 45-17, the final from Columbia.

Another crisis solved. Arum Brown finds Arles Bordingham, 16-yard touchdown. It's a three-point game. Do what now? Balls and Hogs kickoff Saturday at 3.15 p.m. on SEC Network. Right on. Finally, you see they're trying to line up. That is weird, wild stuff.

So instead of an extra point, they decide to go for two. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Kenny Minchie to a wide open Willie Rodriguez for the two-point conversion. Hey, that's what I'm talking about. And what a start to the Will Stein Erron. in Lexington, Kentucky wins in overtime, and the Wildcats are four in one. That kind of thing. 16. That's incredible. The sweet 16. I mean, it's 15. One was Johnny Carson. Still, very, very strong. I saw Mike's eyes light up when I heard the phrase Eli Drinkwitz

because he just gets very excited whenever it is that happens. I haven't seen him that excited since Bram Stoker's Dracula. Oh, do we have that clip? Do we have that clip? I'm distracted now because I was going to just give Eli Drinkwits a ton of credit. Mizzou changed the national narrative. That's a great job by them. They finally won the big game.

We're taking the Aggies plus three and a half. Put the town on alert. Yeah, and the money line. That conference sucks. Let's pull up that Bram Stoker's Dracula clip because this is a sexiest GD thing I think I've ever seen in my entire life. And you know me, I'm a big book guy.

I love reading books. You don't read, man. You listen. I'm reading Michael Douglas' book right now. It's incredible. In your car while driving. Yeah, but look, if you want to judge audiobooks, go ahead. If you think reading Bram Sokers Dracula is better than listening to it,

then let me provide you this clip. This blood that pours from me has your Lucy in it. No. Drink. Drink. Fick her in my dreams. Drink. No, no, no, no.

There is no living. You are not to wriggle away. Drink from me. And with this baptism of my blood in your mouth, throat and veins, you shall be my servant. It sounds like Patrick Mahomes being sacked. You heard about that story, Dan? No. Of course I've heard about that story. I just mentioned it. I just mentioned that Max Crosby has accused... Just flying right by everybody now being horrid in the scene.

Sado? It was very sensual there. I hadn't thought about Bram Stoker in a long time. Mike's got an obsession with vampires. That's not reading, though. That's not reading. No, it isn't. That's not reading a book. That's a lot better. If that's reading, I would have to read. Yeah. I am well-reeding. read. All right, that's fine. Maybe it is better, but you can't say that you read that book.

Of course you can. Shut up. What don't you say you listen to the book? Because you judge me like you're doing right now, you and I both take the same amount of information from a book, whether you read it or I listen to it. Oh, I agree. Listen, one of my books, The Pride of a Lion, is in audio form. And in fact, I've listened to it, and the guy who narrates it is wonderful. How's it not you? They didn't ask me, but the guy who does it is wonderful. Me? I am pro audio books. But Zaz is right. If you listen to a book, you shouldn't say,

I read a book. This is a bad look for you guys. It's a bad look. Well, Dan said yesterday that optics and bad looks are false narratives. No, I didn't say that. I said it's empty criticism. Empty criticism. Just to say something. To criticize anything as a bad look is to simply say

what Tony does, I don't like that. That's all it is. It's just an umbrella. It's an umbrella phrase for, that's not something I like. Therefore, I'm going to dismiss it as bad look because it's not something I like to look at. Defend yourself. There's so many times that I impart knowledge with you and the audience from a book that I read. And you may know it, you may not know it in that moment, but it's because I'm well read,

I'm well-informed, and I read multiple books a month. Well, you listen to multiple books a month. Shut up, dude. There's a difference. No, I'm reading Michael Douglas's book right now. It's incredible. Unless you're looking at a page with words on it. You're not reading it.

Oh, my God. Like, I'm taking the same amount. My eyes hurt when I read. I don't want to do that. If you're watching a movie at home, and then in the middle of the movie, you close your eyes. Are you now reading the movie? I think if you have subtitles, you can say you both watched it and read it. Reading a movie.

That's fun. There are only six copies left of Pride of a Lion by Cody and McGill on Amazon. It's on sale right now for 1399, a 44% discount if you'd like to sell it out. Can I stroke one out to your audiobook? Ramstroke it. That would help. Please stop doing that. I'd appreciate it. AI isn't something that's coming five or ten years from now. Businesses are already using it every day and it's changing everything from the questions they ask to the decisions they make and even the routine work people don't have time for. That's the idea behind NetSuite Next.

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going for two when you're up by five switching the zone when man isn't working oh and building your new stadium in the state your team actually plays in in sports some things just make sense you know what else makes sense drinking yeagermeister shots ice cold Drinking it any other way would be like punting on first down Or letting your worst hitter bat first Or like going for two when you're down three with a second to go It wouldn't make any sense So don't let the team down when it comes to Yeagermeister

Drink it cold or don't drink it at all Yeagermeister damn that's cold Drink responsibly Yeagermeister liqueur 35% alcohol by volume imported by master yagermeister US White Plains New York Down Levitar I do agree with Greg Why are you talking so slow? Why are you talking so slow?

Why you talk so slow? Why you talk so slow? It's because you can hear yourself. It's kind of awkward. What do you mean? Greg, do you have it back in my day? A what? Greg, Cody.

I stand behind Greg for not doing back in my days anymore. You all have him singing songs and doing so many ancillary things that is ridiculous. And you know it. Talk faster. Why are you talking so slow? I'm talking at my normal speed. This is, uh, yeah, my wife loves this deep, sexy voice, I'll tell you that. How would you talk to her with it?

Yeah, baby. This is the The Delavitia show. Let's check in with some dolphin sound here because I just want you guys to hear where the dolphin season is after a month as their beleaguered coach four games into his professional. professional career makes this assessment. I told the guys very clearly that this was going to be a tough journey that we were all going to go on. And I told them that if they weren't up for it, then they can go talk to Sully. This is the time to find out as we build this thing and grow, who are the real guys? Like, who are the guys that we can trust that want in the boat? Because when we flip this thing and we will flip this thing, that we want to have around. And the only way you find out

those things is going through adversity together, right? And we're going to find out a lot about the guys. If there's any guys like you just mentioned, then they won't be here. But the way we're building this thing and the way we are talking about the process and the way we're playing together and the way we're getting better and the energy that we've played with and the toughness that we've played with, I do believe we have the right guys, more or less, that will help us get to that point. I was trying to follow that.

So the beginning, he's like, I told these guys, this journey that we're on is going to be tough. So the journey's begun. And then midway through, he's like, we're trying to see who the guys are. So when we've turned this boat over, who's going to be on this boat? So that, that he's saying that they're out. The journey's begun. They're in the ocean, but they're currently capsized. They're drowning. Yeah. Put it on the poll at Lebitard show. Are the dolphins a capsized boat? This is an algorithm actually that has, I get stuck here often. I get fed all of the boats that capsize because they underestimate haul over. And so I keep getting all of these YouTube videos of boats that have no idea what they're

dealing with and all of a sudden they're on their side. Did you see the dolphins out there? Because that's the visual he's painting there. He's like, all right, we're swimming here. Who's going to, we're about to flip this boat over? Who wants in? Who's tough enough? I'm on a great algorithm right now.

It's classic ACC football. So I have Chuck Amato. I actually call it the algorithm. them. You are so down on the SEC again. It's taken entire month. Actually, I want to, before I get to the SEC, I want to play some other sound because I want to see if you guys are willing to replace the Kauai Leonard sound with another laugh that I heard here recently. I want to play the sound simply of John Tyson talking. He's a booster for Arkansas and he's being asked about Texas Tech's eating booster and he's from Tyson chicken which I imagine makes a good amount of money

but he doesn't think that he can compete with what Texas Tech has you've when you look at those other guys and what you know what Cody Campbell has done at Texas Tech I mean he's completely by himself changed that whole program I mean well he's got oil I got chickens ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha so so we'll we'll start we'll we'll we'll start there I want to nominate, I'm going to ask the group here, I want to nominate that laugh to replace the Kauai Leonard laugh, which replaced the Kame Nix laugh. Do you guys think that this is a laugh that's worth replacing the Kauai Leonard laugh? So we'll start, we'll start there.

That's a laugh of a serial killer just before you're disemboweled. No. No, we shouldn't. It's a bit long. I'm also in that one. Well, then we maybe should change it. Hold on, wait a second. We might change it.

You think this is what a serial killer does while disemboweling you this? You know what? He's right. We'll start. We'll start there. He already said we'll start there. I'm going to cut you like a fish. We'll start there.

By the way, the guy crying poor, 2.7 bill. net worth. That sound is actually Michael Orvin before he starts talking. Mike is saying that the SEC is overrated again, filled with bad teams. I don't know that you can say that about Alabama, but if you're picking Texas A&M over Missouri, Missouri just slaughtered Florida and Texas A&M has a quarterback problem. They cannot trust their quarterback. Marcel Reed is not someone that you're going to win playoff games with. No, but I mean, he was somebody that they got to the CFP with. This is, I, I, know I'm hot takey here by saying the SEC is overrated. It is, and it may very well still be the

best conference in America. It can be both things. I think this year with the SEC, we need to take a beat, and we need to see how these games play out a little bit, because everyone thought Kentucky was good because they went into Texas A&M, and then Texas A&M is no good, and then everybody was glazing Florida, and then we realize, oh, maybe that offense is a little bit limited, especially when you take Brown out of the equation. Jaden Ball only ran for 13 yards. But we know why. Yeah, he's not getting enough sex. But I think that the college football media is just incapable of moving on from the last 20 years.

They only know how to talk about this sport in one way. And that's the SEC eats. So if an SEC team beats another SEC team, it's not the ACC narrative where Louisville can get picked off by Wake Forest. It's, man, what a grind. It's so hard to win in this league. It's hard to win in any league. It's hard to win road games inside your conference. They know your tendencies.

They game plan for you. They recruit against you. They know everything. It's not unique to the SEC. But let me ask you guys this question on what has to happen to change that conversation when what I slide in front of you isn't just what Ohio State has done, but what Michigan has done. And now what Indiana has done.

Like once Indiana produces that season, the best season any of us have ever seen, like what does change that? conversation because Indiana sneaking in after Michigan when Ohio State has been pretty dominant too. Like, what are we doing? The last three national titles have been decided without that conference. And I thought last year when Oklahoma and Alabama made it ahead of Notre Dame, and I think now with the benefit of hindsight, even though we were touting it all year, Notre Dame is better than Alabama. Notre Dame is better than Oklahoma. We saw that game play out. We saw how Alabama, after they beat Oklahoma, fared against Indiana, and I thought that maybe people would get it.

But then we fall into this trap of preseason rankings and every result having to validate. So let me just move this team that I had overrated up a little bit. It is embarrassing that a team like Mississippi State, who has been impressive this here, no doubt, but they only fall one slot after losing by a million at home? I was stunned that Florida only dropped to 16. I thought they'd have been at least the 20s. because they have no moves. It's like they have to put Missou ahead of Florida, but Florida can't fall that much because what do we make of Ole Miss? What do we make of them?

Because we thought Louisville was a good team and then Louisville loses twice. So, Old Miss is just as good as Louisville? I'd be fine if you took out Old Miss and just put Trinidad Chambliss in the rankings. Just put his name in the rankings. We're going to find out something this weekend. It seems like the weather's really going to impact this game, but I do think Alabama is much better. I like their quarterback. And I do think Georgia has a good defense, but Georgia hasn't played a good offense. Alabama hasn't played a good defense. And we're going to

take this result, and we're going to crown that team as if it's not totally likely that they can drop two inside that conference because they're all kind of the same team. I do think Texas has top-end talent. The questions about them is can they put it all together? Something that interests me about all sports is the habit-forming quality of it. You know, we hold the SEC in high esteem simply out of habit because we're used to doing that. It's a leftover from the Sabin era. The perfume lasts a long time. It's why the Dallas Cowboys still get to be America's team.

It's why we still think of the New York Yankees as so great when they haven't won in 20 years. It's just pure habit, you know, and it takes a long time to get over that. It's going to take the SEC to really slide farther than it does for us not to think that's still the best conference. I don't know that it's ever going to. to happen, at least not anytime soon because it's the money that's involved. Like, you know, ESPN,

SEC are in bed with each other, of course. And ESPN is the biggest mouthpiece there is in sports. And so the SEC is going to remain on top. There was a huge boom for the sport in terms of interest and revenue while Nick Sabin and the SEC was running things. If you look at the history of the SEC, they ran things for only 20 years, only 20 years. If you listen to an SEC fan, you'd think that this is something that's been grandfathered in from the 1950s when Miami on its own won more titles between the 80s and 90s than the entirety of the SEC. I don't have an issue with the top. I think the top rightfully should be discussed, and we'll find out about Bama and Georgia. My problem is the middle. My problem is that bottom half, and what we do with those results

and this game that we play of confirmation bias. For the record, just numerically, so that everyone understands the non-conference record against power four teams, the SEC is 10 and 2. The Big 12 is 5 and 7. The ACC is 6 and 10. The Big 10 is 4 in 10. So it's 10 and 2. And Alabama's for real. They've got nine rushing touchdowns in three SEC games this season. They had eight in they had eight in eight SEC games. Yeah, there are I think 30th nationally in rushing, which is a big improvement over what they did last year. But again, you look at the teams that they played defensively, and maybe that explains it. The capsized boat analogy, Greg, as you are more optimistic on the dolphins than just about

anybody, when Jeff Hathley comes to the microphone and says, we're all drowning, and the survivors that will be damp and breathing hard at the end of whatever this journey is, which isn't going to be this season, we'll get to have a functioning boat. Yeah. It's a surprisingly harsh metaphor that he chose, but I appreciate the honesty. The Miami Dolphins have had more snaps by rookies this season than any team in the NFL since at least 2000 in the last quarter century. This is one of the biggest ground-up rebuilds the NFL has ever seen. And to not expect to be surprised by O and 4, to be panicking and saying, what a disappointment.

Do you think people are surprised? I've heard a lot of criticism about the dolphins, about why they suck so much, as if this was not expected in the rebuild. But you would expect the criticism. I don't think anyone expected them to be any good, though. But why the criticism then? Well, because you do need to evaluate. You know, if your draft picks are not performing well, there's going to be criticism. Malik Willis, for sure, like, they spent money on him.

There's going to be criticism. The coaching staff, there's going to be criticism. The criticism is going to be there. It can't just be blindly. But it's also not unfair. They're the first team in the NFL to score 14 points or less in the first four games of the season since the 2019 Miami Dolphins. And they're also the first team in the NFL to play undefeated teams

the first four weeks of the season. Those teams are undefeated, at least in part, because the dolphins are on their schedule. Like those are easy games for the other. Like San Francisco hasn't had an easier game. And they got an entirely exhausted range. team flying poorly to Australia and they haven't had an easier game than the one that they had against the dolphins. I'm going to say it again. The 2026 dolphins are the first team in the

NFL to score 14 or fewer points in their first four games of the season since the Miami Dolphins of 2019. You're not supposed to be at the rebuild again seven years later. It's not supposed to be a more difficult rebuild seven years later when you've already had the difficult, your team stinks. Okay, and you expected how much better instantly from the youngest team, the NFL is seen in 25 years? It's not that I'm expecting better, Greg, is that they are absolutely confirming my worst fears. I didn't expect better. I expected this. They're just as lousy as I thought they were going to be.

Okay, but what did you expect? Lousy, really lousy. Okay, and that's to be expected from this kind of a rebuild. I just don't think there's any way to be surprised or particularly disappointed. It's not that what you've seen. It's not surprised, Greg. It's anger or indifference about the fact that the season is nuked before it started, and there's no reason to have any hope about much of anything.

You have to talk yourself into silver linings. Well, and the reason it's more difficult this time around than the rebuild, the supposed rebuild in 2019, this regime is paying for the mistakes of the previous one. Like that is why this. They're janitors, meaning the people. The people who. who are in charge of the dolphins because they have so much salary tied up in players who no longer play for them.

They're five highest paid players don't play for the dolphins this year. They're just cleaning up a mess. Yeah. No, it's the residue of the Chris Greer era. Tony, you know that moment at a party or a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks? I know it well. It's usually when I show up. Everybody goes crazy.

Yeah, you usually take all the credit for it. But it's because Tony usually walks in with queer. Walking like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quervo is a thing that turns hanging out into this is the night. It has that effect on people. It does. You usually take the credit for it.

But again, it's the quervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering. Keep it quervo. Keep it quervo, baby. Ah, folks, listen up. You wouldn't want an offense alignment to play wide receiver, would you? No, you wouldn't. You need the right person.

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Find Manscaped and the lawnmower lineup today at Target and CVS. Dan Levitar. Put a finger in there, but if you tell anyone, I'll deny it. Mike Ryan. Don't just stare at it, eat it. This is the Dan Levitar show. How can you just go about your business after watching that Dracula clip? I don't understand it.

I've been forever changed. That's the hottest damn thing you'd ever see. I want to play a different clip. that for sports fans and dolphin fans might be a clip that leaves you cold. Okay, I want to go back because Lane Johnson, surprisingly, retired yesterday after surprisingly sitting out Sunday's game unexpectedly for personal reasons. That's the best right tackle ever. I'm going to read some Lane Johnson stats for you because there's rarely been a player like that.

But the Dolphins had a chance to trade up and get Lane. Johnson. Instead, they took Dionne Jordan and since then have drafted a whole bunch of offensive linemen while not being able to block anybody. So they could have had Lane Johnson. Let's go into the wayback machine here and hear some great nostalgic voices and names from what the Dolphins could have done and how they could have had Lane Johnson. This is Lane Johnson, right? Has to be Lane Johnson. They are going to get Tanny Hill's best friend. This is going to be his roommate for years to come. Right. And then Marshall, they sign Mike Wallace. They

re-signed Brian Hartline. They went out and got Brandon Gibson, Dustin Keller at tight end. It all adds up to we will compete this year. They have a quarterback in place. When they let Jake Long go, that's the one big hole. The Oakland Raiders have traded the third pick to the Miami Dolphins. With the third pick in the 2013 NFL draft, the Miami Dolphins select Dionne Jordan. Defense of end, Oregon. It wasn't for Lane Johnson. It's Dionne Jordan. The player that I compare him to, which is Jason Taylor, who ironically played for the Miami Dolphins. I also think he looks a little bit like an Alden Smith.

And if he puts on 20 pounds on that 6'7 frame, someday he might even be good as a DeMarcus wear. He's got that kind of edge speed. One of the biggest busts in dolphins history. In fact, how many do you put ahead of him in the history of the Miami Dolphins? Were you trading up for the number three pick? And he's being compared to Jason Taylor, Hall of Famer, who I think had more touchdowns from the defensive end position than any defensive end ever. Where does Dionne Jordan go on the list of biggest busts in franchise history?

Very high. I know that, but does anyone go above him? Good answer, good answer. Good answer from Chucci. This is why he said. Good job, Choochee. Accurate. Who above him?

Second best answer of the week from you. Who do you put above? Behind ghost. All right. Thank you for bringing that back up because I've been making fun of Zaz for two days. There was nothing wrong with that. Via text.

I've been making fun of him nonstop about how it is that he contributed so little to a segment. I don't agree. That he contributed so little to a segment that he said it was reasonable. He thought it was reasonable. Why are you laughing? Because you can't even look at me.

me. You can't even look at me at what you did to the show because why don't you go ahead and tell the people what you did to the show and go ahead and you defend it. It's quite the deflections, Zaz. Maybe I'm not looking at you because I don't want you to be distracted by how good I'll look today. It's my new look. Dan wanted to play a game. Guess the personal reasons of Lane Johnson and why he missed the game. Now, in retrospect, Dan was right to question what's going on here. Zaz could be right too. He's never playing it. Here's where Zaz is right. Candy Light! Excuse me.

Are you not familiar with the rumor? Andrew Luck, what happened there? Are you not familiar with the rumor that Andrew Luck saw a ghost at the facility and decided it was time? But Sam Darnold saw a ghost. He won a Super Bowl. You know who else saw a ghost? Yep. Daniel Day Lewis while doing Hamlet.

Go on. Dan, if he turned into a ghost, he would have to retire. I turned to Zaslow while talking about Lane Johnson. And Mike Ryan was berating me about wanting to play the game. hey, it's pretty rare for a guy to just say right before a game, I'm not playing. Yeah, we all acknowledge that. Unless. Let's go around the room.

Guess, recklessly. So I don't have to. I didn't think it was reckless. And given what's happened recently, where he's just flatly saying the best right tackle ever, look, I don't know if you guys have noticed how much have changed since DeMard de Rosen and Kevin Love were brave enough to say, hey, tough guys can have mental frailties. It's not a weakness to go get help. It's a strength.

This is the best right tackle. in the history of the league telling you that he can't do it anymore. Because? Personal reasons, not your reason of, it wasn't even, you weren't even saying that maybe he saw a ghost. No, maybe he turned into one.

That's where, that is where it is that you lost me with, you, you said it's not unreasonable to suggest that maybe Lane Johnson, not had seen a ghost, had turned into a ghost. Right now, there's nothing proving me wrong.

Because if he turned into a ghost, he would not be able to play anymore. And guess what? He retired. I don't know why Dan's being so pissy. You gave him an answer to a terrible game. It's not a terrible game, Mike. And the reason it's not a terrible game is because I don't want to lose sight of the fact. DUI.

You see how bad that is? It's a bad game. I felt wrong just recklessly saying DUI. Mental health. Here is why it is not a bad. I'm hesitant to call it a game. but it's not a bad conversation to have. There's not a lot of precedent for an NFL player of this caliber

checking out in the middle of a season a few minutes before a game and saying personal reasons, and then he's just not available to his team. And not only that, his coach is going to get fired and it's the worst offensive performance that the Eagles have had this century. They're over 12 on third down. Man, I don't know how the Padres feel

about what happened with Mason Miller last. night. I really don't. People can be unreasonable about their priorities in sports. And if you don't know this story, do you know what happened here, Greg, last night? The baseball was terrific last night. I do not know. It was really great. Okay, so here's what happens last night where San Diego saves its season, and they do so because Michael King has to come out of the bullpen after pitching on Sunday against that really tough Brewer's lineup. Because 45 minutes before the game, Mason Miller learns that is wide. Mason Miller, the best reliever in baseball, throws 104 miles an hour. He learns that his wife has gone into labor with their first child. And so their best reliever isn't available at the most important time in the season because he's left during batting practice. And I heard on the way in, this is one of the things you guys miss by no longer listening to satellite radio or AM radio or radio in general.

You miss the joys of whatever it is is on the radio in the morning after you've been listening to a baseball game at night. And so I checked in today with Babs and the boss. Mike Babchek. And Steve Torrey. Who are you in your car? You're just a different person. So listen to this.

Why I didn't mean to? Obviously, the radio's still on. The radio's still on. But you're just driving around at night, just odd hours. You're listening to the game at night? Yes. You just radio shame us?

I get texted all hours of the day. Of Dan, just taking a picture of Oakland and Houston. it's 2-1 in the sixth inning. It's like, it's four in the afternoon. His old tweets, he just sends you via text now. Yeah, but it's just a picture. Oh, it's the best. I love it.

So Babs and the boss were insistent, insistent that Mason Miller has to be available to the Padres there. And they kept saying, and I don't know whether this was Babs or the boss who was saying, and I'm not familiar with this show. But they kept saying, and of course, family has to always come first. family has to be the priority, but Mason Miller is letting a lot of people down. I just believe with this decision on first child, I believe you really need to leave that to the people involved, because while he's letting a lot of people down, one of them's not his wife. And you really do have to allow. Now, it's different for everyone because Fried is pitching for the Yankees and his girlfriend is pregnant as well. She's due, but she's not actively in labor. And so we don't know

if she goes into labor this afternoon. Will he leave? Will he stay? Well, no, but he says no. He says his family is very understanding, and he says he's not going to leave. And it should be. Why wouldn't we be okay? I know this is an age-old sports radio argument because we've been having it for 20 years. But how could you not leave this decision in the hands of the people who have to make it and just stand aside and be okay with whatever that decision is? And respect it, you know, not just be okay with it, but be understanding. of it. I had an example of that when Christopher was born, the day he was born. I'm in the hospital

room with my wife and my newborn, and my executive sports editor at the time calls me on the phone, tracks me down to the hospital room and invites me to work that day because there was some breaking news having to do with UM. I think it was George Myra Jr. and steroids or something like that. And I politely said no, and he was very understanding. Had he been insistent? Had he like all but forced me to leave that hospital room and work, I never would have forgiven them. You know, I'm just kind of zoning out here. I don't look at you the same way. Like, you think writing is a craft, right? Or is it an art form? All right. So someone pours their soul into writing a book. That's incredible. That's admirable. Now I'm throwing another craft on top of it, a performative

craft. I'm getting two different types of crafts right now and you're just there to dismiss it to say the one with one craft is better. Let's cue this up again. Let's play it again because I double dog dare you and Zaz who are both super dismissive of audiobooks to replicate this scene and do it better because this is an award nominated actor. That is taking time out of his day and I guarantee you you can't come close to this. has your Lucy in it. No. Drink. The figure in my dreams. Drink. No, no, no, no. There is no living.

You are not wriggle away. Drink from me. And with this baptism of my blood in your mouth, throat and veins, you shall be my server. I laid down the gauntlet. I think that's better heard than seen. No, you're going to do this. You're going to do this. Oh, that's great.

Greg, you play the role of Dracula here. Zaz, you go ahead and play the role of Dracula's love interest. Are you ready to do this? Do you need... Well, do we have it transcribed? We're working on a transcript. We're going to do this right. We're going to get your production value.

Okay. Wait for a second. You will not wriggle away. Maybe we'll do this during the Nick Wright segment in a moment. Perfect. Or at some other point in the show. As soon as possible. Because he looks like Dracula?

The Cory Booker segment or the Larry the Cable Guy segment. Oh, you leave that alone, Dan. I'm talking cars that entire time. You know what? Can I sit there instead? I'm going to sit over. I'll talk to him too if you want. Yes, yes.

You can sit here. That's great. You will not wriggle away. You can indeed sit here. during the celebrity prognosticator segment. Larry the Cable Guy was 5-0, so he returns. Wow. That's crazy. And Tony wasn't here, and he really wanted to talk to Larry, the Cable Guy.

So I will give you 90 seconds on the front end. 90 seconds. Well, because we have to get to the back. I just get into Cars 1 in 90 seconds. We got Cars 2. We got Cars 3. He's in all of them. How about Cars Adventure hit the road? What about that?

How about Tokyo Drift with Mader? How much time do you feel like you need with Larry the cable guy? Like 20 minutes. I think we should let him have it. I really do. But we could set something up on the back end where me and him talk alone and then we could put that over on the show later. You'll get three. Oh, three minutes.

No, I don't. I'm going to keep it to 90. I'm not going to go. 90 minutes? Wow. Thank you, then. Lucky Tony. Judgement of Tony and Jeremy.

I'm not going to let them lead us into whatever it is needs to be done with Larry the cable down. Drink. He's going to start coughing 15 seconds. That's so great. I hadn't considered that. He is going to be. All right, all right, let's get prepared for this. Let's get prepared for this.

We're going to do this leading into Nick Wright. Let's see where we end up here. So we'll start, we'll start there. Tony, you know that moment at a party or at a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks. I know it well. it's usually when I show up, everybody goes crazy. Yeah, you usually take all the credit for it, but it's because Tony usually walks in with Quervo.

I'm walking like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quervo is a thing that turns hanging out into this is the night. It has that effect on people. It does. You usually take the credit for it, but again, it's the Quervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game

where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering. Keep it, Quervo. Keep it, Quervo, baby.