The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - The Suey Awards: Worst Mistake | Hour 1

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

"Massage near me." It's time for the first category of the Suey Awards, but first, Dan wonders why the entire crew is dressed in red T-shirts and backward hats, and Jeremy introduces his pivot to a country music career with his single dropping Friday titled 'The Diary of a Personable Fella.' Plus, how did a new Nicholas Cage movie get stolen? And Dan tells a story about a Larry David situation he came across while in Los Angeles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's one of my favorite times. There's that point in every summer where I start convincing myself, I'm going to be normal about football this year, not as emotional, not lose myself completely in it. And then the game start. The sprinklers, the smell of grass, the roar of the crowd, the toasting of Miller Light. Ah, that right there, my friends, that's my favorite part about all of this,

because making football time is great. Making football time a Miller time. That's special. Some of my favorite weekends are built around football. getting everybody together, putting the college games on on Saturday, come back for the NFL on Sunday, order way too much food, and crack open Miller Lights for me and my friends.

That's a perfect weekend for me. And Miller Light is a beer I reach for every time because it's crisp, refreshing, and easy to drink, especially when football starts. When it's still somehow down here, 90 degrees of Miami, it's a true American Pilsner that cools a body down the original light beer since 1975 and just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs.

Legendary game days, start with a Miller. Light. Make Game Day legendary. Go to Millerlight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Game time is Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company

Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. You are listening to the Dan Levitar show, in partnership with the Drafkin's sports app. Now live in all 50 estates. This episode of the Dan Levitart show is presented by Draft King Sports. Drap Kings, the Crown is yours. We have a brand new sui announcer. We have a brand new sui trophy. And we have the first category of this, our suey week. This hour, worst talking is the first award that we're giving. Why do you guys look and are you all dressed like a company softball team that is four and twelve? Why is it that all of you look exactly alike today?

I mean, we had three weeks with Zaslo, and it's just, I don't know. You know about that red shirt, Dan? He's changed me. Makes us look great. All right. We're having Thai food. I look good at Redona. Lunch.

Dan thought Montreal had a lot of ties in the conference standings of MLS. Jeremy, why are you wearing a cowboy hat? Oh, well, as you know, Dan, it's been my lifelong dream since last Wednesday to become a country music star. and y'all know how much I care about this and it's been it's been a dream of mine so I decided to work on this passion project really no there's no qualms about it there's no there's no facade here I have wanted to do this you regret the word qualms there right yeah yeah I didn't like that and when it came out I was like ooh I really have I've long worked at this dream I've been writing down lyrics in my notes app for about 10 years years now of, you know, the lack of trials and tribulations that I've faced. You know, I really haven't faced much strife in my life. And so I wanted to authentically, you know, come to all of you in the audience and let you know how that felt. So my new single, the diary of a personable fella, will be dropping on Friday. I'm really excited to share this authentic and personal experience with all of y'all.

I see the parental advisory label. Is there actually explicit content? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, this is from the heart, which means there's going to be some real emotion, y'all. Okay. The key to your impersonation is going to be the y'all. How do you think Jonathan Taylor in Indiana feels about the fact that he's being paid for the next two years, $44 million, and Indiana's former punter, Pat McAfee, is being paid $60 million. How do you feel, how do you think Jonathan Taylor feels about that one? Play the stat of the day. Play the stat of the day music, Roy. The start of the day, start of the day, this is start of the day. The five high, start of the day, start of the day, the state of the day, start of the day,

and this year start of the day, start of the day, the day, the city is star of the day. The five highest paid dolphins this season, Tua, 55 million. No. Tyreek Hill, $28 million. Jalen Ramsey, $20 million. Come on. Minka Fitzpatrick, $13 million. There's a sealer in there somewhere.

Bradley Chubb, $11 million. That cap is dead. None will be playing for the Miami Dolphins this season. They have two players that are 30 years old. Zach Seeler, who's 30 and their punter that they just signed. I wanted to ask you, Zaslo, about something that is happening in college football that I know you guys have talked about. I'm watching the televisions here, and Lane Kiffin says they will absolutely abide by whatever the SEC's eligibility rules are.

But there is some doubt on what those eligibility rules are going to be, because, of course, Lane Kiffin has tried to test the boundaries and the limits of the rules by taking a player who had been waived by the Browns and taking him at LSU. And now you have a fight here where college conferences are trying to ban the ability of players going to the pros back to college. And I don't know what you guys have said about this. And I also don't know what people are saying about this. But I know how I feel about it. And I think that both fans and these conferences are being awfully precious about the cis boomba of what they want college football to be. when I just think we should call it minor league football

and let guys have 10 years of eligibility if they want. Like, let's stop making this about education. So no classes. Stop the stupidity. It's not about them being students. Like, what are we doing? We're still hanging on. We're just slowly changing it

because they want it to feel like some sort of amateurism. When that ship is sailed, it's minor league football. It's a giant professional sport. Chris Wanky won a Heisman at 29 years old, just make it minor league football. Like, just stop with the nonsense. Like, if you want people to keep going to class, fine, but eventually this is all going to break. If your governing body has no power, if judges are telling you, yeah, conferences, you can't do that. You can't do this with antitrust rules.

Look at what we have right now, okay? This is, I mean, football, professional football, NFL football, is the most lucrative league in the history of earth. It's $20 billion a year annually. Nothing like that has ever existed. They've got a free minor league system. Basketball doesn't. Baseball sure doesn't.

Of course they want to protect their free minor league system. So just let the players go back and forth and just make it minor league football. It already is. We're just pretending it's not. We're sitting here watching this and pretending that this is about class, and it's about education, and it's about young people. It's not about any of those things, and you know it's not about any of those things.

Like, it's not, I don't even, we're being so, these conferences are being so precious about we've got to protect this thing, and the whole thing is stupid. Like, it's just clear to me that the whole thing is already collapsed, and we're just pretending and abiding by previous rules because the new rules are going to be made up as we go along. Yeah, I think it's mostly about, like you're saying, and, you know, we're precious about the old rules. I think we're behaving as fans. I think we're behaving as normal fans who have always liked the way college football has operated

and don't see any reason to change the way college football has operated. Which just feels very sequential, right? You have four years in college. If you're really good, you got three. And Dan's point, like, that's really interesting. Let's get 10 years. The guy starts at 18. He's out of 28.

There should be a cap of how old you can be. Because at some point, it's like you're playing with kids if you're, You're a grown-ass man. And like that is a little odd. But that's an interesting point. Like, let's just let him play. I do not want to limit earning potential and workplace potential for employees. You say fans like the way that it's been.

But that kept the players broke for a long-ass time. We've changed it. And once you allow the money and you've got to start changing all of the rules, as you've got to start with, I mean, of course, the Lane Kiffins of the world are going to try to do stuff like that. And a judge is telling you. They can't. They cannot ban the ability to go work. Like, if you want to work as a professional football player, you have some options in Europe, but they don't pay very well.

The paying options are NFL and college football here. And if we're already at the point, as, like this changed quickly. If we're already at the point where you're paying the quarterback $5 million, why are we still pretending that this is amateur in any way? Like once you get to the point that you're making the quarterback a millionaire as an 18-year-old, I don't know why you'd be precious about the rules unless it was just in protection of a bygone age that can't exist when you throw this kind of money at it. Once the money opens up these floodgates, you have to allow employees to be able to find work in this country. You cannot sit here and protect your thing that makes it so very precious that you're the only one who gets to.

to hold on to the money anymore. Like you have to, you're not going to pay kids with food from the commissary anymore. Do you think fans have more of a problem with the player playing in a preseason NFL game and then going back to school for a fifth year of eligibility or the, you know, signing the NIL deal and then leaving the very next year so the contracts mean nothing? Because I think the latter fans have more problem with. I think football is so popular as that it does not matter what it is. that we do here as long as your team has a chance

to be the best team. That if your team, look man, Indiana was as stunning a sports story as we've ever seen because the whole thing is collapsed because your conferences don't matter, your traditional powers don't matter. Nothing that used to be is still so, except for the uniforms and how some people who are unwilling to change feel about it.

And I get it. People don't like that kind of change, but it's too late. Like it's already changed so much. What difference does it truly make? There are all sorts of guys in college football right now. Didn't the hurricanes had a tight end who's been there from McCormick for nine years? Like, there are a handful of players. I love school.

There are a handful of players in college who have been there for seven, eight years. And yes, there are injuries and red shirt years and medical red shirt years. But I'm asking you guys sincerely. Like, I get what it is that this does, okay? because it limits opportunities for future young people if a guy can play for more than four or five years. If a guy can play for 10 years, then it makes it what? More competitive. Okay.

All right, make it more competitive. I saw Virginia. They beat NC State over the weekend. Their offensive starting line, graphic popped up. Their right tackle, fifth year. Their left guard and their right guard, sixth year. Their center and right tackle, seventh year. Fans and alum, like part of what makes college sports, college football so special to most fans and most alum is they like feeling this connection.

And if the players, you know, are, were pros and then are coming back and not even taking classes, you're not even really part of the school. And that's the part that fans and alum love the most. They love the school part. I feel like you only like that part when you're like at the school. Like, I haven't thought about a U.M player going to class in a decade. All right, but what school did you go to? FAU. Okay.

Well, I haven't thought about an FAU player going. It's just like if they're playing on the field, then they're eligible. No, but the fan likes most winning. Like, that's what the fan likes most. And I would say under what it is that I'm saying to you, though you might absorb it as ridiculous, you develop more of an allegiance to a player who's there 10 years because you're watching him all the time. Like, it's, my larger point is, template, it's already professional football.

And you can't stop it by trying to return it to still being college football by handing a guy a couple of books and telling him to please go to geometry class. Well, some of it is professional football. A lot of it isn't, right? Like there was games this weekend where I found myself looking and I was like, this is a sad game. Right? First and the foremost, the FSU game being on the CW. Dan, did you watch it? while St. Thomas, a local high school down here is on ESPN2.

That was fantastic. CW, it was New Mexico State versus Florida State in a half-empty Doe Campbell Stadium. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen. They went down to a guy on the sideline. I was like, who the hell is this guy? Look up for me, please, what New Mexico State's record is each of the last 10 years? Because people are saying that because FSU won by 17, there's some reason for hope there. And I just think of New Mexico State as something that exists at the very bottom of

football at all times. We saw what the line was on the game? It was like 28.5. 31.5, I think it closed at. They only won by 17. New Mexico State, just give me some season logs on what their records have been the last few years because I simply think of New Mexico State as something that exists to get to travel and then get beaten by others.

So they won four games in 2025. They won three games in 2024. they won, actually pretty decent year in 20, 23, good recruiting class. They actually only lost five games. Keep going, though. I want like the last 15 years of New Mexico state football. They were kind of six and six, not a great year. Because there's a lot more else than Ws, but I'm trying to do the math in my head really quick.

For being honest here, Tony's looking at their full schedule, so while looking at it, he's trying to assess what the record is. 20-21, they won two games. This is what we're doing. No, I'm guessing. I'm doing, you want to come do this? No, it was. Okay, good. I just want it done right.

Okay, two wins in 2021. In 2020, a shortened season, they actually went 500. You sure? They won one game and lost one game. That's easy for you to count. They played two games. They lost to Tarleton. They lost to Tarleton, 4317.

Tarleton FCS school. Jeremy, can you do this quicker, more efficiently? Since the turn of the century, they've been over 500 four times. That's not as fun. That's not as fun. I have qualms with that. 2019 no quams no i have a qualm no there's no qualms no i have a crom 2019 they won two games uh well he just covered it 18 they won three games he's scanning like year to year put it put it on the poll yes he's the

he's the android they lost to utal state 60 to 13 once click to the next season uh put it on the poll uh do you know what a qualm is at levitard jes i used it correctly okay i used quam correctly it might not have been the best word no but i used it correctly you used it correct you used it But it just wasn't the place for it. It really wasn't. The world was used correctly. But we're not good. The diary of a personable fellow.

Out Friday everywhere. Look, I understand paying for things I actually want. Dinner, sneakers, a trip, whatever. But paying fees to just access and manage my own money, come on, please. What are we doing? That's where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank

with the most rewarding fee-free banking. No overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balance fees, and all the benefits are legit. you can get 5% cash back on your Chime card in a category you choose like gas, groceries. You can build credit through regular everyday spending with no credit check, and your savings can grow at a rate that's nine times the national average. Plus, if you're ever in a pinch, Spot Me lets you overdraft up to $200 bucks fee-free.

I can think of plenty of people who would benefit from banking like this. Join the millions who are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com slash Dan. That's chime.com slash Dan. sign up now. It only takes a few minutes. Chime is a fintech, not a bank, banking services, and Chime card provided by Chim's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. Dan Levitar. There's sunglasses and boxes today, but it lives all the same. Jeremy Tache.

It's the fun. This is the Dan Levitar show. We're not good talkers, and here is the evidence as we debut the sueyes this week. Uh, worst talking. Welcome to the 2006 Suey Awards. I'm Michael Biamani, the long time now retired voice of your, my... You know me as the two minutes. Dos minedos guy. while others know me as Lualdang.

All right, let's get this party started. And now, for the first time ever, here are the suey nominees for Worst Talking. Dan Lebitard matriculates through a sentence. Why does he go into full coach speak when after listening to this Texas A&M pods where he's like, well, we've got to matriculate, the ball down the field.

You're right? I'm asking for us and the audience. Well, we've got to matriculate the ball down the field. Tony Colada eudes attempt at wartime consigliary. That's a Sean Pin movie. Is it a, okay, yeah, fair enough. It is a Sean time. She also wasn't a wartime concilieri.

Hated the way I said that. He said it again. There he goes. Let's cut that up. He's leaving. Bye. He's leaving. He also wasn't a wartime concierge.

Chris Cody did not a complete his sentence. On Sunday, James Winston against the Lions, had five completed passes over 20 air yards. Five of them he had on Sunday. The Steelers did not a complete. Not a complete. You're going to love his Italian guy impression. He's a legend. He's a legend.

He did not a complete. The Italian one. We're losing the punch line of this stat now. I made this about me. The Steelers did not a complete. A single one in the month of November. The Steelers, not a one. Did not a complete a one.

Mamma me. Don't do this. Did not a complete. Don't do it. Mike Ryan gets Flemmy. You do the same thing with the coach that you do with the quarterback because FSU was undefeated. They are so tied.

Whoa. You're right then? That's emotional. They are so tied. Sorry. College joke. Wow, that was weird. Rough week.

They are so tied. Whoa. Tony Kaladdeyud gets lost in his sentence. Dan, that would be the most unprecedented thing ever, right? In sports, where a gambling scandal where the team was not let under the, under the, they didn't know what was going on. Okay. Spit it out, tone. Look out, look how.

They didn't even need me there. Look at him. He lost all confidence. Yeah, that was unfortunate. A gambling scandal where the team was not let under the, they didn't know what was going on. Jeremy Tashay skips the pass. How did we skip the pass that his name is Stryker? Yeah, how did we skip the pass?

I don't even know what my brain did there. How did we skip past the fact that his name is, yeah, the kid's name is Stryker. You were saying. I don't know, man. How did we skip the pass? Dan Lebitard can't say innings. A game in which Scoobull strikes out seven in a row. And they lose anyways because it goes 15 innings.

You got that. National. Indigenous People's Day. I'm an ally. Because it goes 15 innings. Zaslo takes the Bucks Hole. Can we just say the very obvious? And that is that in the year 2023, Jimmy Butler in the heat took the Bucs hole.

They did? What? They took the Buc's soul. Okay. The soul. I heard Buc's hole. I heard Bucs hole. You think I said they took the bucks hole?

You said they take that ass. You're the inventor around here of taking that ass. Why would anyone say I thought that's what you said too? The guy that says take that ass would say bucks hole. Jimmy Butler in the heat took the bucks hole. Chris Russo calls bad bunny bugs bunny. And that game was the, again, unless you bet all sorts of props, read Chris Russo. I don't know how you stuck with it.

And I am not talking about Bugs Bunny at the half either. As I can kill us, whatever his name is. Pat Riley screws up. Wembenyama. Wemba. That's tough. He did go right by us. Wembaia.

What did the Eastern Conference do to Pat Riley? Mambaya. You're better than that. Damn. He said it, not us. Mambaya. You got to get that name right. Mambaya.

That's why you go Wembe. Excuse me. Mambaya. Chris Rousseau botches Cam Schlittler. Let me start here. And then we'll get into Schlister, who obviously was Pannama. It was Schittler. He kind of botched it, and he's like, I need to re-say this.

Let me start here, and then we'll get into Schlister, who obviously was Shetner. Rob Grancowski screws up Emeka Egbuka. Rookie sensation, wide receiver out of Ohio State. Emika Egbekboo, going for over 100 yards. Amika and Buka. I'm getting confused. Emika, Bigbu. Kids good.

Emika a big boo. Chris Cody loses his breath. That's at the Kendall Drive in Southwest 127th Avenue Flanagan's Thursday, October 30th, $1,500 costume contest. Dave, what are you joining dressing up as? Jesus. Chris. You okay?

Chris, what happened there? Thursday, October 30th, $1,500 costume contest. Dan Levitard messes up Jude Bellingham. How about Jude Bellingham? Bellington returning to the form of the pitch from two years ago. And Jude Bellingham has been pretty good, too. That's a fine. Oh, what did I call him?

Bellington. Oh, shit. It's a fine. Man, God damn it. It was a funny joke, though. You were so close. Oh, man, that hurts. People get names wrong sometimes.

No, but I've been doing it more and more, and it's just debilitating. It's okay. How about Jude Bellington? Zaslow gets emotional. Like, I was pulled over a few weeks ago. Oh, fight through. It's choked up. Oh, get it.

It's emotional. No, take your time. I get choked up sometimes when I talk about, you know, getting pulled over by the police. Zaslo gets emotional again. Do you expect Matthew Kuchk to be skating with a hangover tonight? Survive that one. I got emotional. I get very emotional.

Cut that one. But I think about Matthew Kuch, I get very emotional. What's done for our country? Do you expect Matthew could Chuck to be skating with a hangover tonight? Tony Kallata Yude tells us who he'd wather have. 100%. because then you look at what they have and J.J. McCarthy, and it's like, who would you wather have?

Who would you wather have? Who would you wather have? Who would you wather have? Who would you wather have? Dave Dameshack can't talk. The person who insists that when they make a list of the great, well, the first one is when they say of all time. Zaslow screws up Bobby Portis. You know what?

That's just more time you're going to be standing around and waiting because you're going to be standing next to. to Bobby Porty, Greg Cody botches Malachi Tony. This year, not just Fletcher, Marty Brown has been great. Malachi has been great. Malachi. Malachi, sorry. But in this case, I can't praise Miami enough. I think they're an airtight kid. Are we sure it's not Malachi?

It's a biblical name. It is Malachi. It should be Malachi. Yeah. I apologize for misspeaking. Malachi. Dan Lebitard has the sink shipping. I think he's mentally broken because this is a

really hard job and he was kind of alone in doing it as the sink started as the ship started to sink it's so interesting to me to see the sink is shipping and greer's the first one out it's gonna it's a second time it's the ship is sinking what i say what i say the sink is shipping which by the way i'm not mad at that i want to see a sink be shipped away like that that means it's over i'm glad you mentioned that because the first time he said i'm like i've never heard that he caught it the first sign, but then he just let it loose there. The sink is shipping. Zaslo asks if the Packers win or if the Bears lose.

Diana, did the Packers win or the Bears lose? It was really bad. Brutal. That was so bad, Zaz. We're going to cover that one in the post show. We're writing it right now. We're going to cover it as soon as she's off. No.

Bears lose. A mid-segment meeting. Bairnish. Several times. That was bad. The Packers winner, the Bear lose. Bears luge. Oh, my God.

What a dork. That'll never go away either. The Packers winner, the Bears lose. Bears lose. Oh. Bears was plural. Yeah. Dan Lebatard messes up.

Borikwa. There are an assortment of Pittsburgh broadcasters who were trying to pronounce the word Boricue. Boricua. Boricuap. I'm sorry. Thank you. That's a bet, Dan.

Abort, abort, abort. Wolf. It's draft week. Transition. Ty Simpson. That's going to be like Spoh with the Pistons calling the time out when you didn't have one. You're going to wake up in the middle of the night like Borikwe? On my deathbed.

On my deathbed. I'm going to be next to you. Roy's going to be there and be like, I'll never forgive you. Morayne. Moriquet. Mori'i. Tony Kaladayude. Three-time champ belt champion.

Talk about danger in the heavyweight division. Alex Paneda moving up for a, just completely crazy three-time champ belt champion in three different weight classes. What did you think? Just say? What did you just say? Tap out. Alex Paneda moving up for a just completely crazy three-time belt champion. Zaslo gets excited about weapons.

Weapons. What a movie, David. I never would have watched it without my suggesting that I watch. Did you want to know how that? What were the kids doing? How did they go missing? That's exactly right. That's exactly.

Well put. What are the kids doing? What did I call David in the beginning? I don't know, dude. One more time, one more time. Tie. Foo-foo-foo-foo-foo. Shitty you want to know how that?

What are the kids doing? It sounds like me doing fake him. What do you want to know how that? What were the kids doing? Dan Lebitard messes up cross-country about as much as you possibly can. Are you an expert, Jessica, in the cross- Cross-canti-country. See you.

See you, buddy. Hey now. Get out of here. We're almost to California, bud. Cut it up. Of course, he's an expert than that. Cross-Gh. This is going to be a bad year for me.

I didn't like that one day. This is going to be bad year for me. I think I'm going to run away with all of the categories. Oh, Tony came for your stuff a little bit. It's hotly contested. We need to more Jeremy. Jeremy messed up a lot this year. Tony, you know that moment at a party or at a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks.

I know it well. It's usually when I show up. Everybody goes crazy. Yeah, you usually take all the credit for it, but it's because Tony usually walks in with Quervo. I'm walking like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quervo is a thing that turns hanging out into this is the night. It has that effect on people. It does. You usually take the credit for it. But again, it's the quervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering. Keep it quervo. Keep it quervo, baby. Dan Levatar.

The Packers winner, the bear's bears lose. Jonathan Sassel. Shitty, you want to know how that? What were the kids doing? This is the Dan Levitar show. Speaking of wartime consigliaries,

are you guys aware that the LAPD is investigating that a Nicholas Cage movie, a World War II spy movie, has just disappeared. The name of the movie is Fortitude. supposed to be Oceans 11 meets and glorious bastards

and it's just disappeared. Nobody can find it and the LAPD is investigating where the hell the movie is that Netflix is making so many movies that they could just take a Nicholas Cage movie. Netflix is making so many movies and Nicholas Cage is making so many

movies that one of them could just vanish and it needs to be investigated. So is this movie just going to show up on YouTube at some point? I don't even understand what you're saying here. It's not physical. This is a digital copy. You're saying someone stole what the computer, every hard drive it was on.

They weren't saving it more than one place. There is a movie that Nicholas Cage made that has vanished. And so I want you to look up for me what the LAPD is investigating. What are you shaking your finger? Oldest trick in the book. That's a scam for insurance, Dan. That's a highly insurance scam if I've ever heard one. Where's the movie?

I don't know. It's gone. I have no idea. What was the insurance on it? Five million bucks. Oh, okay, I guess I'll take the insurance on it. It does sound like an insurance. An insurance scam.

I want to ask you guys to tell me how I should feel about a Larry David moment that I had in California, where I go into a place to get a massage. And it's $81 for an hour, okay? It's not bad. No, it's very affordable. I was surprised at how cheap it was. It feels shopping center cheap. I was stunned by how cheap it was. And I give them $100 off of the top.

And I forget that they gave me change because that's how I would tip on the massage. If $81 massage, I'd give $100 and then we'd be done with the transaction. But they gave me change. And so at the end of the massage, I walk out of the place and I am in the street and the masseuse chases me into the street and is yelling no tip. Oh. No tip. And it's simply because I forgot.

And then, of course, I give her the $20, but I'm saying to myself after I walk away, wait a minute, though, a tip is, it's not guaranteed. A tip is extra. I shouldn't be chased into the street and embarrassed, even though she was right. Like I meant to tip her correctly or more correctly, but I failed. I think there are some industries where it is just fully expected. I think restaurants is the most. Well, and especially because the servers, they don't get paid well.

I would imagine the masseuse gets paid a normal wage, right? I think that they probably need their tips. I don't, and especially if it's a place. But they're not making $2 an hour like a waiter. No, but if it's a place, though, that's giving you a massage as cheaply as $81 for an hour because that is pretty cheap by massage standards. If it's $81 an hour, that place probably isn't paying very well. I don't know if it was because it was a daytime rate or something else, or a weekday rate, but that place can't be paying the masseuses that

well. So I have no objection to thinking that you deserve the tip. I have no objection to, in that case, the tip being mandatory, even though I've told you guys, that if a restaurant puts my tip into the bill, automatically, it is all you're getting when you would have gotten more from me if you had not done that. But in this particular case, how am I to feel about the fact that in the street, someone is yelling at me, no tip? I'm a coward. I would like overtip. She'd come back out. I'd be like, sorry, here's 40. Oh, I was embarrassed. It was an innocent. mistake, but I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed not because she was calling me out on it. I was embarrassed because I had legitimately forgotten and she thought I wasn't a tipper. But once I,

once I left and walked away a few minutes, I was like, wait a minute. Like, it's not, it's not guaranteed. And the way this just ended was with the shame and embarrassment of me in the street just handing you $20 because I was indeed embarrassed. And she, by embarrassing me, she got an extra dollar because she was only going to get 19 a second ago and now she got 20. Some people just have no shame about asking. I feel similarly when I'm ending an Uber or a ride share, the driver that says, if you appreciate my service, please. Like, you ever have that where they like kind of ask you for a tip on the way out?

I'm less likely to tip then. I don't know what they're doing there. It's like the, hey, if you appreciated everything, please give a good tip. And I hear that and I make a weird face. The idea is always Uber I don't have to tip. And then they reverse cores and they're like, oh, you got to tip because we don't pay them anything. And it's like, well, that's your problem, not mine. Right.

That was the beauty of Uber at the start. You don't even have to tip. We don't want you to tip. But I thought, though, that the tip in all instances was optional. They don't. I'm pretty sure this is this just an America thing? Because I don't think it's something that they do very, like Europeans are notoriously not tippers when they come to our country. It's because it baked in.

When I went to London and Paris last year, I was so confused when we were at restaurants, like, what's the deal with tipping? And then I were like, no, you don't do that here. They just pay them enough. Yeah, I like that better. Right? I just don't know how I'm, I was legitimately confused as I left because my instantaneous reaction was shame and agreeing with her genuine embarrassment. Of course, you'd come out here. It's a mistake I meant to do this.

it felt like an assault on my character afterward. It did not feel like that in the moment because I did agree with her. Like it was, it was an... What kind of place were you at? Can we start there? What kind of massage place did you go to where it was only $81, which is really cheap for a massage? And the masseuse is running into the parking lot and chasing you for money. No, it wasn't the parking lot.

It was Santa Monica Boulevard. Was there like the chimes when you open the door? There were no chimes when I opened the door. Where were you? Just the... It was just massage near me. It's what I did. It's just the Google search.

That's what's called? Massage near me. That is, you know what? That's a good name. Where are you going? Massage near me. That is actually a good... Don't say anymore.

That's a free one, guys. We've got to open a franchise. I give business away like nothing. That is a good name. Insurance game here, business there. That is a great way to sort of jerry rig the algorithm so that you can massage near me is absolutely a good name. But that's all that was. I just want, I didn't check any, I don't know whether you guys would.

Would you guys check the comments and reviews? Yes. Because I didn't even do that. Yes. Make sure there's no sting operation. 100%. Yes. Yeah, I didn't do any of that.

What are the code words to, you know, have the fun thing? I would have texted Sedano and said, where do you get your massages around here? So Simon Offram is the producer of fortitude and he's suing Netflix because apparently what it was is they were, you know, in discussion. Netflix wanted a screening. They brought this unencrypted digital cinema package. to Netflix for them to be able to watch and have a screening. And then after that happened on June 16th, on June 25th, he was informed by Netflix, hey, someone stole the footage.

So he's now suing them not only for $165 million for the rights of the movie, but now he's suing them for defamation because of the way that they responded to that initial lawsuit. But I can completely understand it because this is a story of British intelligence operatives using unprecedented strategic operations that fool Nazi leadership. And in it, Nick Cage is playing Dusko Popov, a Serbian playboy who was a real-life double agent. I see the way that you guys all looked at me. I saw it in your eyes. And you've got me being Bob Kraft and Dirty Jed York.

You guys have me being Dirty Jed York is what you guys have. Real dirty. Eighty-one bucks, you're like, what a steal. I mean, Kraft ruined it for everyone. You can't say I got a massage without people. thinking that's just where you go. I get massages all the time. At Lebitard Show is where

you vote on the polls. Are we still making Jeds, is the name of the question. At Lebitard Show. I think that prostitution scam thing is more embarrassing because his name is two syllables. Your name is Jed York, and I think it's made more embarrassing by the name

Jed. Those details are, how much did you guys laugh at the details of an NFL owner, somebody who is wildly rich going to the equivalent of a trailer park trying to fish out some sort of sexual favor for $140 from somebody who washes their underwear in a coffee machine. I laughed. The NFL is investigating this, correct?

The NFL, I just can't imagine how embarrassed you are if you are Jed York and this is what you have around the 49ers franchise. This is one of my puzzle pieces in this NFL conspiracy that I'm cooking up that I want to get off the ground and I feel like I have all the pieces in place if you want to hear it, Dan. Let's hear it. The NFL, the San Francisco 49ers, they obviously the situation came out with Jed York where they're like 140 bucks, trailer park. This is bad news.

What do we do? We bring in Dejan Love. 49ers, fake wide receiver all of a sudden now the entire news stream, the entire media is flooded with Dejan Love, who's a fake wide receiver for who? The 49ers. It could have been any team. But specifically the 49ers. Jed York and the San Francisco 49ers brass have been cooked by the substation,

and now they're employing Dajon love to go out and do their bidding to completely clear Jed York of anything timeline related on Twitter on anything. Now all we see of the 49ers is this person doing sand routes very slowly. With the helmet on. All right, let's for a second here move away from the Jed York story and watch this video and talk about how poorly this guy. impersonated an NFL receiver while bilking women out of like $1.2 million, right? Because he was-26 women.

He was faking being a wide receiver for the 49ers by doing routes on the sand, wearing a 49ers helmet. And not looking very athletic in terms of body type. Also not looking very fast in terms of sand routes. I have seen videos of wide receivers and professional. athletes working out in the sand, none of them look that slow as molasses as our guy, DeWan, Love. He really called himself Love? That might be his real name for all we know.

So the guy who's faking his credentials to trick 26 women out of $1.2 million, you're a rich, wide receiver. His last name is Love. There is a genius in him wearing number seven on the jersey, though, because you know that no one is going near Kaepernick's number right now on the 49ers. You're not going to wear that. Well, there's some great stuff, too, of him explaining on his Instagram why Jake Moody was able to get number four, even though he has jewelry of number four.

He said that when the 49ers sign him in the offseason, that he's going to buy the number from Jake Moody. The key to a good lie. Moody all season. Details. More details. More details than needed. Let's just watch some video of Stefan Diggs working out in sand here on a volleyball court so that you guys can see what, what real professional athletes look like when they're moving,

they do not look like that guy who is wearing a 49ers helmet and looked like me out there. I go wrong.