The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Tony Says The Justin Herbert Experiment Is OVER | Hour 3

Episode Date: September 22, 2026

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Starting point is 00:00:00 My favorite part of the football season is the confidence everybody has before it kickoff. Zaslo already knows how the game is going to end. Tony has studied every possible matchup and Chris Cody is convinced his fantasy team is unbeatable. Then the game starts, everything immediately goes off the rails, and suddenly nobody remembers making any of those predictions. That's why a legendary game day starts with an ice cold Miller light. Whether I'm at a tailgate, watching with friends, or settling in for a full Saturday of college football, Miller Light is the beer I can depend on.
Starting point is 00:00:32 It's crisp, refreshing, and has a clean finish that hits perfectly during a hot South Florida game day. Miller Light is the original light beer with great taste, and beer lovers have trusted it for more than 50 years. Make game day legendary. Go to Miller Lite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Game time is Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 caps. calories in 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Starting point is 00:01:02 You are listening to the Dan Levitar show, in partnership with the Draft King Sports app, now live in all 50 states. This episode of the Dan Levitart show is presented by Draft King Sports. Traff Kings, the crown is yours. From all of the college football stuff this weekend, okay, Oregon, I expect to drop today after playing a close game against Boise State. You got the Michigan Hail Mary play that was controversial. You got the weekend.
Starting point is 00:01:32 starts with Colorado blocking a field goal against Georgia Tech so that Dion Sanders wins a game at the end. You've got Auburn with a two-pointer stop. You've got Old Miss with a walkoff at Louisville. You've got Clemson losing the way that they lost and Lane Kiffin winning the way that he won. And you've got Belichick Sex and Drugs and a program in almost utter embarrassing disarray with the investigation that includes players. like parking in handicapped spots and, you know, speeding. You got Bill Belichick's son, Steve, the defensive coordinator. Being investigated, it's not known if it's true or not, but being investigated with questions about drug use
Starting point is 00:02:19 and giving drugs to a player. Where do you guys start on the college football weekend? I get a little mad when everybody wants to talk about Michigan. I feel bad, you know, that you didn't get a great upset there. because we're talking about tenths of a second and not talking about, holy shit, they completed a Hail Mary to finish the game. And we're talking about one second,
Starting point is 00:02:40 tenths of a second, and we're arguing about these stupidities. That is true. I hadn't even thought about it like that. The whole conversation is about the clock when if the clock wasn't an issue, we'd be holy shitting a Hail Mary the whole weekend. This is one of the greatest
Starting point is 00:02:56 plays to end the game we've ever seen, and we're doing the minutious stupidity talk of is it tenths of a second? Should it be? Shouldn't. be and you're ignoring the fact that the most miraculous of plays is what finished that game in a way that's bothersome but let's listen to the
Starting point is 00:03:12 Joe Tessitore call. That's the wrong call. It's a great Joe Tessitore call though. But it's true though. How good is ball being back? It's true. It's good. I don't know what I was... I thought I had a wrong. Yeah, somebody denied it. The goal line is not how the Michigan game ended. They got it past the goal line. You were setting up all the stories from college football so I was trying to
Starting point is 00:03:51 trying to tell you that Joe Tess had a great call. Look, you're having a rough go of it today for a number of different reasons. Yes, now that he betrayed himself, Chris Cody's the one who told me to do that. And then I did it, and that's how that happened. But let's go back for a second because Chris Cody thought he was going to get in trouble at the funeral, or at the Shiva, excuse me, for different reasons than the ones that he got in trouble for. When he embarrassed himself, he thought he had embarrassed himself in a different way than the way that he embarrassed himself. I had not noticed, but what Chris apparently was doing was angling to try to hang out with certain well-known people at the Shiva.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Say hello, I'd call it more than hang out. But yes, Jeff Conan, I wanted to say hi to. And I may have embarrassed myself by awkwardly walking over when he was talking to Jeremy and then just awkwardly staying there for about 20 seconds, realizing I wasn't going to be brought into the conversation, then awkwardly walking away. It was noticed, not by me. It was noticed by Mr. Martin. I just wanted to get a feel for that handshake. Like, I've taken for a walk a few times. It's still slaps.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Jeff Conine, my entire life, this particular exchange I'm going to share with you is something that he's been doing since he was playing for the Marlins in 1993. And I've seen no other celebrity do it ever. Jeff Conine, when people approach him, will just stare ahead silently for an uncomfortable amount of time
Starting point is 00:05:12 until people decide whether they want to stay or not. He will just stare at. silently without saying anything at all. There's no welcoming gesture. There's no warmth. There's no hello. It's just straight silence. That makes me feel a little better because he did that to me. And most people just shuffle off the way you did. And so he avoids most of those, most of those interactions that he does not want to have. I assured him that it wouldn't happen at the funeral or at Shiva because it didn't occur to me that Cody would do that. I just didn't, I, again, that's a mingle fest. Everyone's mingling in there.
Starting point is 00:05:48 That's all it is. It's mingling. That's not all it is. It's not what it is. Supposed to comfort the people that are going through. It's not a cocktail party. I'm just saying that it's not a mixer. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:06:03 It's not a happy hour. Other than the moment when everyone gathered for the ceremony, it was just a, hey, what's a man? Did you wander over there to Mr. Marlin say, hey, did you check out my pastelitos? No, but I was like, huh, those, no one's. touching those. Untouched. Zaz, what was the story of the weekend from among those? And also, FSU, their power went down and everyone assumed it's because they couldn't
Starting point is 00:06:27 afford the electricity. I thought the story was, look, college football overall is fantastic, obviously. But I thought the story overall was this was a bad product this weekend. Really bad product. You know, Friday night, you had three-ranked teams play Friday night, all three of them won, Oklahoma, USC, Miami by a combined score of 135 to 6. and then on Saturday, every game was a blowout. There was only one game the whole weekend.
Starting point is 00:06:55 It was Sunday night, Ole Miss and Louisville, that pitted two ranked teams against each other. So Saturday it was all blowouts. And even the Michigan Western Michigan. No, no, it was close, but like, that's a shitty game. 12-7 until the final play of the game. That was not a good game. Like, it was just bad football all weekend long, not competitive.
Starting point is 00:07:12 That is absolutely so. When he mentions the Michigan game, though, David, the other thing that people are glossing over while arguing over tenths of a second. Oh, really? Michigan on the last play of the game produced a touchdown when it only produced a touchdown the entire rest of the game. And Bryce Sondor would might stink, by the way. So, yeah, and he doesn't exactly have the confidence of his coach in a way that's fairly obvious.
Starting point is 00:07:35 But so you guys, the mathematical perfection of Michigan scoring as many touchdowns in a second it didn't have as it had in the previous four quarters before. that second to finish that game ends it in the most improbable of fashions. And I guess that's what everyone's talking about today and from the weekend, at least in part because of what Zaz is putting it against, which is there aren't a lot of other games that went down to the wire, even though that Auburn one did, even though that's not the call I meant to play for you. I find sports to be fantastic in this regard, that whether it happens in the last second or not, there was a baseball game last night that ended 5-4. And if you look at the box score,
Starting point is 00:08:14 you'll say, wow, the Diamondbacks won five to four. It was zero, zero after nine innings. And then five runs scored by the Diamondbacks. Craig Kimbril, I learned yesterday that he was a royal. I learned yesterday that he was at Kansas City. Is he still doing the arm? Yes, of course. Except it's 10 miles an hour slower than it used to be.
Starting point is 00:08:32 But my point is simply to tell you it's a 5-4 game. Yeah, it was 0-0 into the 9th, 5-4 end of the game. It doesn't matter me when the touchdowns are, when the scoring is. The Michigan, Western Michigan, that's an exciting game. No, no. It was not. Seven's exciting. It was an exciting finish.
Starting point is 00:08:47 But that's part of the game. Man, the movie was terrible, but the ending was great. Well, let's talk about this for a second, though, because Zaz has a slight hyperbole, okay? There were close games. Oregon, Boise State was a good game. The game, SMU, FSU was a good game. The Auburn game was not a great game, but it had a dramatic finish. Ole Miss Louisville was probably the best game of the weekend.
Starting point is 00:09:12 The only game that pit in rankings, yes. six at halftime, finish what, 41, 38? No, it's a good game. So I haven't heard a lot of people saying what Zaz has said. Every year when college football starts, I actually kind of think that not only is this stupid, it's borderline unethical to play some of these teams that are coming in for a paycheck,
Starting point is 00:09:31 and they're just there for you to trample them by 50 points. It doesn't feel right to me that college football always begins that way. Every year, it starts with a whole, bunch of tune-ups that aren't real football. They're just the uniforms there and sort of the calisthenics. This is the equivalent of spring practice, or I'm sorry, the exhibition game. Did you say this about Mike Tyson when he would have someone would get paid to just get crushed in 20 seconds of the first round?
Starting point is 00:10:03 No, but at least that player is getting the money. You know, the boxer is getting the money for the fight. Here, the school is sending the kids out there. You're going to get murdered so that we can get $1.5 million for playing. But now the money is shared. But the money is shared, though, to be fair. Not that money, but now the players are making money. But they're there to have, look, a point spread of 54 points or whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Like the way Ohio State started its season, when you've got these point spreads that are 30, 40, 50 points, it's how the college football season always starts. Have you heard a lot of people saying this weekend, Zaz was immersed in college football as he will be all season? He'll be traveling to a bunch of the best games. in the country every weekend. Have you heard a lot of people saying bad product this weekend? Because I feel like people are so grateful to have football back that they don't care that the product is bad. Like there's a little drain on your Coke, but it's still Coke.
Starting point is 00:10:56 Yeah, like, I feel that way too. I'm okay with the bad product in week one because I know it's going to be great all season, and I'm just glad it's back. Like, I am okay with it. But I just haven't heard a lot of people saying bad product. Like you came out of the box with your takeaway from the weekend is that was a bad product, I find myself focusing on the five good games instead of the 40
Starting point is 00:11:15 bad ones or the 400. And do you say that in the NCAA tournament when the 1 in 16 seed, when the spreads are always so big when you got the top seed? No, because the stakes are so high every game for the turn. It's more, you know, no, but the reason I don't do that, the reason I'm talking about it feels borderline unethical to me
Starting point is 00:11:31 because in basketball, there's not the risk of people 100 pounds heavier than you and stronger than you more built for professional football, literally injuring you because they're just too big and strong, that's not, like, that's not something that really happens. It's division one. The 55 point spread that you said is coming up next week.
Starting point is 00:11:49 You think that there's risk of injury that increases when the spreads increase? I've never seen that correlation. The team isn't big enough for good enough. Like, that's what it is. Like, it's a disadvantage, which is why you're getting 55 points. I believe there's more chance of injury to teams that are 50 point underdogs than there is in the average game. Is there any big backing for that?
Starting point is 00:12:11 Is there more football injuries? I'm talking to you. I don't have math or science or data in front of me. I'm telling you, though, that when I've seen these smaller schools physically be a hundred pounds smaller along the offensive line, you've got people who are too strong out there against people who aren't they? I may be wrong about that. I think they're all Division I.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Some are, but still, like there's a wide gap between the tier that we're talking about that are guys that are getting paid millions of dollars to play football versus guys that aren't. No, I don't, I don't think that FAMU is, like, is FAMU Division 1? Like, is it, like, some alternate, help me with this, because I don't think that, I didn't know you could schedule out of the division one. They're just in Power 6, group of six. I think of Florida A&M as such a small school that has never been Division one relevant in any sort of way that I almost don't even classify them that way. Yeah, they're in one of the HBCU conferences.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Southwestern Athletic. The swag. The swag. It happens in soccer. You get the bottom of the table. They never compete for the Premier to win the Champions League or the Premier League, but they're still in the upper league. I just, there's always going to be blowouts.
Starting point is 00:13:25 I don't think that there's a risk of more CTE or injury because a team is a 55 point underdog. I've never heard that before. Okay. So do you understand, though, when I say that an underdog of 50s, you? 50 plus points in football, given what the scoring is in football, is so much better than an underdog of 30 or 40 points in March Madness in terms of, or so much worse, in terms of the disparity between what those teams are physically. If I give someone a point spread advantage of 50 plus points in football, it's not the same as giving them a 50 plus point advantage in basketball because of the way points are scored. It's an even bigger advantage between the teams.
Starting point is 00:14:08 You get six for a touchdown and only two for a basket. So 50 points in football is a smaller disparity than 50 points in basketball. That's 25 baskets versus seven touchdowns. My favorite part of the football season is the confidence everybody has before a kickoff. Zazlo already knows how the game is going to end. Tony has studied every possible matchup and Chris Cody is convinced his fantasy team is unbeatable. Then the game starts, everything immediately goes off the rails, and suddenly nobody remembers making any of those predictions.
Starting point is 00:14:40 That's why a legendary game day starts with an ice cold Miller Light, whether I'm at a tailgate, watching with friends, or settling in for a full Saturday of college football. Miller Light is the beer I can depend on. It's crisp, refreshing, and has a clean finish that hits perfectly during a hot South Florida game day. Miller Light is the original light beer with great taste, and beer lovers have trusted it for more than 50 years.
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Starting point is 00:16:27 Is this Chum Bucket? This is the Dan Levitar show. But the scoring is quicker, right? I need to get my offense. Now I've got to get a punt return. Like the basket misses, all right, I'm on the other side, and I'm going to score a basket this way. So like the drives and the opportunity to score in football.
Starting point is 00:16:50 There aren't any 100-point games in football. I'm smiling because if you are a better team in football, we just spent time in the last hour on Malakai. Malachi. Biblical name, Dave, come on. Old Testament. Malachi. On Malachi.
Starting point is 00:17:05 And do you agree that there's no injury risk with Stanford because he passed them? There was never like, oh my God, they're tackling him at the head and they're being thrown off. Like they're trying to tackle a dime. But the other side of the ball, when the Keynes players are able to catch the Stanford players, there could be more of an injury. I didn't watch the game, and I'll admit that. Were there Stanford guys, like, laid out the entire night? The opposite. Miami actually lost O.J. Frederique one of their corners and Jabari Antoine,
Starting point is 00:17:32 another one of their corners for extended period of time. It's actually a huge problem when Dan was talking about what side of the ball is going to be the letdown, the defensive side has been the letdown. up in previous seasons, now you lose two corners that are pretty huge for your defense. So Miami got injured. Yes. Yeah, but you're using... It's just one example.
Starting point is 00:17:49 No, but you're using one example. Yes, you did. When I'm sitting here telling you, yes or no, do you think you're more likely to get injured if you're a 300-pound person playing against a 200-pound person? Or do you think if the equal in size and strength, you're less likely to get injured? I think I'm just saying something that's logical. Am I not? Like, what are you disagreeing with here?
Starting point is 00:18:13 I just want verification that teams who are 50-point underdogs get injured more than other teams. It's an eye testing, Dave. We don't have any data to back it up. Dan said it on the front end. We have zero statistical or medical data whatsoever. That's not journalism. Look, guys being dudes. Look, I don't want to make it sound like I didn't like the weekends.
Starting point is 00:18:32 It's college football. I love college football. It's back. It's awesome. It's just that there were not very many competitive games. That's all I'm saying. Regardless, football is back and professional football is back this week. Tua is starting for the Atlanta Falcons after you said you were surprised that he made the roster.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Three and a half, right? Three and a half starts for the remainder of Tua's career. What did you take? Under, under, under. That's crazy. Falcons already announced. So this is one. They give him one week.
Starting point is 00:19:03 The falcons say it's really. Right, he's not their starter. He's their week one. Can you imagine doing that to a play? He will not start after this week. He will be terrible this weekend against Pittsburgh. And I don't think he'll start again this season. Like Michael Pennick, they were the last team to announce a starter.
Starting point is 00:19:19 That's not because they're happy with the guy that they named the starting quarterback. It's because they wait until a last possible second, hoping to God, waking up every morning. Please, Michael Pennix, Jr. Be healthy enough to play. And he wasn't. And Tua's going to get one of those starts where I went under three and a half. I still think I'm going to win that. So they go, they go Steelers.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Panthers, Packers, Saints, Ravens to start the year the Falcons do. Do you think that they're putting two out there against the Steelers, do whatever he's going to do, and then Michael Pence against the Panthers? Michael Bench Jr. is not a baby. He's in his third year. He was a top 10 pick of the draft. I get you, but to save his body, not the tougher teams. Apparently Pennix Jr. told Stafanty's not ready.
Starting point is 00:19:59 He's not ready yet. And he's not even active. So once he's ready, he's going to play, especially because Tua is going to be terrible this week. Did you guys see how the internet went after Tua again over the weekend? Last week, at the end of last week, it was because there was a comment on his own post from Tua, which in hindsight, his wife has come out and said that she forgot to switch accounts. Yeah, but that's a good wife. I'm just saying that, remember I was like made sad by the note.
Starting point is 00:20:25 The note is such a thing a wife would say. For those who don't know from your explanation what the hell you're talking about, and I'm pretty sure David has no idea the way that you explain that, assuming that everyone knows what goes on in your head, and when all that goes on in your head is I'm bringing pastelitos four hours early to a shiva. You were- Check out my pastelitos? You were accusing Tua of commenting in support on Instagram, on commentary he had made that was pro Tua from a burner account that he didn't know was still as Tua.
Starting point is 00:21:01 And so you had Tua congratulating himself and supporting himself on CIS. Because what you did before was not better than what Chris said. I'm sorry, buddy. We went a long way around, right, Dave? I want to be here for you because I love you. I don't know what you're talking about. Dave, I'm going to explain to you really easily. All right.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Tua had a post on Instagram that a comment from him, right, from his own post, said, hey, congrats, we love you. And that's the issue. People thought that he had forgot to change a burner account. So it was his main account commenting on his own main account, a picture of himself. And did he deny it? His wife came out and said, I run his social media. I forgot to switch to my account because on Instagram you can toggle between accounts. I forgot to go to my account and write that.
Starting point is 00:21:41 The larger point is that Chris Cody accused to of something that made him sad yesterday and then explained it poorly here in order to confuse you even more, all of which is to say that Tua didn't do what it is that Chris Cody thought that he did. But I want to go back to what it is that we were talking about. regarding college football, from everything that we were talking about, how big a story is Bill Belichick and North Carolina, the reporting around North Carolina. Mike Lombardi has now resigned. He was the highest paid general manager in the entire sport, and he has resigned. He was supposed to be, was it leave with pay or without pay? Originally it was leave with pay, yeah. And so now he's resigned, and they're continuing the environment.
Starting point is 00:22:35 investigation around this that suggests that the whole thing, when you read some of the details here, that the program is out of control without even the winning that usually comes with a program being out of control. What were your thoughts on these reports? Well, so let's let's hear this reporter trying to get some type of answers out of Bill Balochick. Uh, morning, Bill. I understand you can't ask, uh, can't talk about the investigation, but why do you think questions are being asked by investigators about sex and drug use within the program. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:09 Talk to that. I don't know. You know, your GM steps down amid the investigation. Your son's on medical leave amid questions from investigators about drugs. Pat, I understand.
Starting point is 00:23:22 We're to keep asking those questions. I can't speak about that. It's already been... Well, I guess just the question then would just be, what indications do we have based on the last year and everything that's been reported that you have control of this program? I don't think it's...
Starting point is 00:23:36 If you're around her every day, I think you'd see it. To an athlete, Don Young, that's a poem. But yeah, he shouldn't have come back. It's ruined him. And I didn't think it was possible. I totally agree. I think this has done incredible damage to his legacy, Bill Belichick, because he did all the, no winning before Brady, all the winning with Brady,
Starting point is 00:24:00 and did terribly New England without Brady. And now when he gets to UNC, for a coach who refused to allow his players to talk and show any kind of personality so that nobody creates any distractions for the team. He, he has been nothing but a distraction his entire time so far at UNC. This right here is lack of institutional control. The guys who are at the center of these reports, Lombardi, who has a horrible reputation, would not be working in football if he weren't previously the general manager for UNC. The son, Steve Belichick, I'm not sure he'd be a defensive coordinator anywhere else other than UNC. These two guys, his guys, we're talking about reports of sexual conduct,
Starting point is 00:24:48 drug use, and possible drugs being supplied to players. What kind of drugs? Steroids? Don't know. Pat? Don't know. Creatine. Sexual misconduct, right? I mean, I guess sexual conduct would be fine. Everybody has sexual conduct. It's not called. No, not everybody. Some people stand. I think it's sexual misconduct. I'm in my business, you know.
Starting point is 00:25:07 What would be your conduct that would get you in trouble? Like, just trying? I have great conduct. It's more, more like misconduct. What I'm sad about Belichick is he had a shot. He had a shot. He had a shot to get past, not winning with Brady. And his shot got ruined by taking the North Carolina job.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Jordan Hudson didn't do it. Pablo didn't do it. He did it to himself. And now it's done. There's no coming back. There's nothing he can do in his program. If this stuff ends up being true, these allegations, Labardi, Steve Belichick, Bill Belichick will not make it through the season. No chance.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Agreed. Bill Belichick will have to be terminated. It's like, how don't the UNC officials gather amongst themselves and say, hey, is the juice worth the squeeze? We got it wrong. Because they've gotten nothing positive out of this relationship so far. Nothing. Zaz, I know you like to do odds makers. obviously you put the two a line out.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Can you give me a line for Belichick? Talk to me. Or Dabo? Who gets fired first? Okay, so it's fired or leaves, right? Same. Who's not on the team at the end of the year? There you go.
Starting point is 00:26:16 First. Belichick or Dabo? The answer is Belichick. Dabo will not be gone mid-season. I don't know if Dabo is the coach of Clemson next year. Dabo will 100%. That wasn't his question, though. That was the worst loss of Dabo's career.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Yeah. His question was who's first. First. Belichick will be out first, and it will be before the end of the season. So medical leave for Steve Belichick, and now I'm led to assume, and I don't think that this is fair, so let me get the reckless speculation, even though I don't think it's quite that reckless. It's a little bit reckless because... Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation. You're good. This isn't fair. What?
Starting point is 00:27:03 I'm doing, but I think it's what everybody's doing. Medical leave for Steve Belichick and then questions, not proof, questions about drug use all of a sudden makes everyone go to rehab. Does it not? Like, isn't that the privacy of medical leave? And I think that's the link that everyone ends up making. But it's not entirely fair until you have facts, right? Because medical leave should be respected as private, and investigators asking questions doesn't mean it's so. It's just investigators asking questions. And even if he was giving drugs to a player, drugs to a player and its weed, that's not rehab. Like, I'm not going flying off to harder drug use if he's, whatever, if he's smoking with one of the players,
Starting point is 00:27:53 it's not quite the same to me as the leaps I'm now making because of these questions. But the video that we have of Steve Belichick, licking the entirety of his face on the sideline. As you say, medical leaves should be respected. That's cocaine use. Like, if I wanted to show you. Allegedly. No, but I'm just saying, I'm just saying that looks like.
Starting point is 00:28:14 It looks, physically looks like. I'm not saying it's factually so. But the behavior on the sidelines of, oh, my God, my face feels so good to my tongue. I love licking all of the insides of my mouth and parts of the skin around my mouth and my teeth feels so good. This is so reckless.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Allegedly. Well, I was good. You're good. I was told I was good with the reckless speculation. Does that cover all? Legally, yes. It's recognized as reckless speculation. It's been used in courtroom.
Starting point is 00:28:42 It's not, when Roy said he was good. When Roy said he was good. And he's good. How long is that last? Is it forever now on that one topic? Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:28:51 A judge decided seven minutes. Seven minutes? Okay. I wouldn't have gone where you went, even though what you're saying is true. Okay. So you tell me, you tell me, look at his face right here. Coaches do weird stuff on the sideline.
Starting point is 00:29:02 I'm asking you. If you just took a picture of a face in a moment, do you ever lick your lips? It looks like a loop that you're doing. It looks like a loop. If I were to say to you, what is the physical manifestation of cocaine usage? I've never done cocaine. I'm not asking you that. Is there a chance he's giving signals with his mouth?
Starting point is 00:29:20 No. That they're really trying to throw off the other team and that's the defensive signals. A tick. There's a chance that he's nervous. I mean it's cover two what he's doing right now. Tony, you know that moment at a party or a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks. I know it well. It's usually when I show up. Everybody goes crazy. Yeah, you usually take all the credit for it, but it's because Tony usually walks in with Quervo.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Walking like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quervo is a thing that turns hanging out into this is the night. It has that effect on people. It does. You usually take the credit for it. But again, it's the Quervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering. Keep it quervo. Keep it quervo, baby. Ah, folks, listen up. You wouldn't want an offense alignment
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Starting point is 00:30:52 I don't know what the hell she was doing. And then what's this, this boy band KPS? KBS? What's their name? I have no idea who that is. There's B.T.S. Jonathan Sasselow. Isn't this the biggest band in the world? That's right. Get out of here. A big of Pearl Jam. This is the Dan Levatar show. Zaz, can I get, you know what? Let's get Judge Zaz on this because Samson's got opinions
Starting point is 00:31:19 and we seem to be at loggerhead. Samson has been coming in fairly disagreeable on a number of different subjects. Let's get a ruling from, he started with Malachi Tony. That's where he started. He's been disagreeable today. It's one game is what he. comes in with. He did coke because he's licking his lip. Pump the brakes on excitement. All rise,
Starting point is 00:31:39 the Honorable Jonathan Zaslow, now presiding with prejudice. All right, I'd like to hear the case, Dan. The face of Steve Belichick in front of you licking his face, does that look like the physical manifestation of cocaine use if you had to determine
Starting point is 00:31:58 it in a court of law? Or is that reckless speculation? Steve Belichick, who would not have a job as defense coordinator anywhere else other than under his father is seen here the evidence in front of me licking the bottom part of his lip with the jaw all sticking out you got the tongue and the teeth these are all signs of potential possible use of illicit drugs this is fair speculation and i rule that with prejudice always prejudice I'm sorry that you lost your court case there.
Starting point is 00:32:40 You love to argue. Can you tell me what kind of court case would only hear from you? He's a judge. And not from me? All right, go ahead. No, no, no, no, please. No, please. All right, you know what?
Starting point is 00:32:48 Objection. Is he in contempt? Hold on, guys. Is he in context? Hold on a second. He's always in court. I might, if I have to throw you in contempt, you understand that means, right? It means you spend a night in jail.
Starting point is 00:32:59 You've seen my cousin Vinny, right? You go to jail for a night. I hold myself in contempt. Do you want to go to jail for a night? No. Okay. I don't care enough about... Do you know what making a ruling with prejudice means?
Starting point is 00:33:12 Do you? It means that I don't need to hear from you. Do you know that his worst fear is going to prison for a night? That is... Your worst one? Because he'd be a vending machine for sex in prison. You'd be holding someone's pocket. It's not just that.
Starting point is 00:33:31 It's the reality that I would lose my freedom. That's bad for it. So not the sex. Listen. The loss of freedom is higher on your list than a guy coming in and be like, hey, me and you. Against your will. No, because you can just close your eyes and you can whatever, but the lack of ability. You can't say anything with prejudice.
Starting point is 00:33:51 You're going to be a vending machine for sex with prejudice. You're not saying? Always. When you say with prejudice, do you understand what you're saying? Are you asking me a judge if I understand a ruling that I made in my court? With prejudice. Because you're getting really close to. I understand.
Starting point is 00:34:07 Just answer it quickly if you can, but I'm going to help. Yes. Of course I understand it. What you're saying is I am not allowed. Your tone of a line. I'm trying to know your tone of line. To say a word. Right. That's what with prejudice means.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Yep. You had no right to make that ruling with prejudice. Wow. You should have said without prejudice. You have no right. Shocking behavior. I have never heard a judge being spoken to this way. A judge has never been told by someone who wasn't even supposed to talk in the courtroom
Starting point is 00:34:32 that they don't know what they're talking about. This is the United States. Both sides get to. present their case. I don't know what, what, courtroom you think you're in. All right, you know what? I'm going to protect you from yourself here,
Starting point is 00:34:43 Gagin. You can't kick me out. For him or me? For him or me? It is for you. You're in contempt in his courtroom. You're in contempt. By asking to present my case.
Starting point is 00:35:00 By being disrespectful when you, did you how many times that gavel was hit? You ignored that gavel. You weren't even paying attention. What do you got 20% hearing according to your tasting? Doctor. Go have some jelly beans while you wait.
Starting point is 00:35:12 Please show yourself out. Taste doctor. I'm protecting you by giving you a mere two-minute penalty as opposed to giving you a night in prison, which is your worst fear. I feel like if you're a taste doctor, you got to have some other areas of expertise, right? You won't get a lot of appointments. How do you come up with 20%?
Starting point is 00:35:33 Huh. Such bullshit, right? That's bullshit. I've believed him the whole time about this taste thing, but as soon as he starts coming in You're 20% back. I have friends who have accused him of doing it for attention. They don't believe that he has actually lost his taste and smell through COVID because it doesn't make sense that he would eat as poorly as he does when he's lost his taste and smell.
Starting point is 00:35:55 If you lost your taste and smell, all of you listening to this, wouldn't you stop eating jelly beans and start eating broccoli? Only vegetables. I would be a machine. Yeah. Only vegetables. That'd be like, is Tony and Michael Irvin? What's going on here?
Starting point is 00:36:07 Why is he have a six pack? It's not doing a clean. Yes, I am doing a clean. I'm eating a lot of broccoli. That, I remember Jeremy said one time that he rooted on behalf of diarrhea so that he could clean out his system and lean out a little bit, get some of the inflation out of his body by having diarrhea. Would you like, Tony? If I gave you, do you think that instead of Ozempic and all of these drugs that are out there,
Starting point is 00:36:34 and these drugs are really a tribute to how much America does excess? because all over the world, people don't have enough food, and in America we have to take drugs in order to stop eating. Do you believe, if I could figure out a way to make people lose taste and smell for only three months, that that would be the newest diet that people would choose in some sort of capsule form instead of... OZempic is an injection, right? Yeah, GOP-1s injection, but there are some that have pills. Okay, so would that be the most popular weight loss product on the market, the ability to lose taste and smell four or three months so that you could eat a bunch of foods correctly that you know you're supposed to be eating, but you don't like the taste of.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Dan, not only would it be the biggest selling drug on the market, I would take you public. Me and you, we'd figure out a business arrangement, 80, 20, my way, obviously. But we would take you public, Dan, we would make you the richest, maybe not the richest man, but like the fourth richest man on the planet. What do you think about that? The richest in the food space. I can't guarantee that either. We're not doing food. We're doing anti-food, right? I have friends who think that he is doing it for attention.
Starting point is 00:37:47 And now all of a sudden, very quietly, he got 20% of his taste back, and none of us understand that. Why would you need a doctor to tell you that? Wouldn't you either know or not know that you'd gotten some of the taste back? And his taste is weird. I think his favorite of the jelly beans is black licorice, which is terrible. He should be in jail for that. It's a diabolic flavor. He should be in prison for that.
Starting point is 00:38:07 I mean, what he's doing right now is not much better. Just a plain piece of French toast. I don't like what he's doing. I don't like it was done. No syrup. First, he said it was half and half. Then he said, oh, no, wait. My doctor said it's 20%. So what is half and half versus the 20% that he's tasting?
Starting point is 00:38:20 We'll ask him when he gets back in here. That wasn't much of a penalty. Put it on the poll at Lebitard show. Greg Cote it. Would you eat French toast without any syrup? That seems like sinister. I eat French toast without syrup. But I don't eat it with two hands.
Starting point is 00:38:36 He did eat. eat it like a sandwich. I thought he was eating grilled cheese sandwich from the way that it looked, but it was just one piece of, it was one thick piece of bread. I thought it was two pieces of bread with contents in between, because I couldn't have imagined that somebody was eating French toast
Starting point is 00:38:50 without syrup. Put it on the poll at LeBartard show, do you eat French toast without syrup? Because I think Zaslow's a notoriously plain eater. He's a real conservative when it comes to... Plainstick best donut. He is, because I sit next to Zaz every day in the morning meeting, and we kind of compare. I
Starting point is 00:39:06 look over at his food, he looks over at my food. And I like to put, we have this, like, Korean chili oil with some chili flakes on top of that. I love putting on my eggs and potatoes. Zaz looks at it in disgust, and I look at him. That oil is so good. So good, Dan. Momofuku, you know about the Dave Chang? You know about the Dave Chang? You got to get Dave Chang on South Beach sessions. He's been on highly questionable. I didn't realize that he was the one. Yeah, Momofuku. He invented. That's his product line. Oh my God. It's so good. They have truffle. They have extra spicy. Those are so good. The hot honey with the chili oil. Zaz is also not a fan of getting his hand surgery, so that means wings, ribs.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Did you see what Samson just did? He used a hand sanitizer on his hands after eating the French toast bare-handed. Put that on the poll as well. Have you ever eaten French toast like a sandwich bare-handed? Because it's not something I have seen anybody do before. I have noticed because we have bagels here every day. And most people, I don't think, are hitting five bagels a day, five bagels a week other than Zaz. Yeah, why not?
Starting point is 00:40:06 Sometimes I'll go like a half a bagel. Zaz is just a pretty steady full bagel a day. Bagel's as good a breakfast you could ever have. So yeah, if it's here Monday through Friday, I'm having a bagel for breakfast. I don't want to say anything. I don't want to give him a compliment, but I will. Zaz makes an incredible bagel. Every time I look over at Zaz, he has an incredible bagel spread.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Dave, I don't know what it is. I've had lots of practice. Maybe at some point this week you can see him do it. The toast, perfect. The amount of cream cheese or butter, perfect. I look over and I'm like, damn, I wish I had that. Yep. I'm not messing around. Paul Feinbaum in July, quote, ending like Bill Belichick is going to end is really embarrassing and sad and in many ways pathetic.
Starting point is 00:40:45 He only took that job because he was bitter that he couldn't get an NFL job. He won't get fired, but he should seriously consider retirement. He's one and O. I mean, he just won against TCU and I'm suspecting that the team will be improved. Are you guys not expecting North Carolina to be a good deal better than it was last year? Are you guys now so stained on Belichick that you're assuming that that team is just going to be irrelevant all season? Tell you, in a couple weeks, I'm looking forward to that UNC Clemson game. He said he's getting fired.
Starting point is 00:41:13 That means they're not going to be good. That's it. Well, a combination of not being good and there's too much scandal here. Embarrassing. If they were good and ranked and highly ranked, they would handle a scandal and not fire. Well, they're not going to be right. That's why the scandal will fire. They've got some tough games at Clemson.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Notre Dame. They play Miami obviously. Louisville, Virginia, NC State. Like, that's grounds for firing right there.

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