The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: ASSEMBLE!!

Episode Date: May 3, 2024

After the meeting between Ron DeSantis and Donald Trump, Dana goes down a wormhole about Voltron and children’s cartoons. Meanwhile, Actor Mark Hamill leads the White House Press Briefing on the eve of Star Wars Day, May 4th.Please visit our great sponsors:AmmoSquaredhttps://ammosquared.comEnsure you are prepared for whatever comes your way with ammosquared.comBlack Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Goldcohttps://danalikesgold.comGet your free Gold Kit from GoldCo today.Hillsdale Collegehttps://danaforhillsdale.comVisit today to hear a Constitution Minute and sign up for Hillsdales FREE Imprimis publication.KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet free activation with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.The Wellness Companyhttps://twc.health/danaGet 15% off with promo code DANA.

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. So a Florida man committed a crime, according to Fox 45, and then ran to police afterwards because he needed some help.

That's not the way you do this. Police officer in Coconut Creek arrested an accused burglar on Monday. He asked for help after running away from one of his victims. Terry Jennings of Pompano Beach ran up to police officers asking him, asking the officer for help. The officer was stopped at a stoplight. And Jennings, well, the officer quickly determined that Jennings was fleeing from a resident because the resident found him trying to break into his home in South Creek. And so police searched Jennings. They found all kinds of stuff in his pockets that he could not explain.

And apparently he had also stolen things from a car that was left unlocked in the area. So a woman came forward, she told police that she caught Jennings on one of her cameras trying to break into her car, but it was locked. So he was arrested and booked in Broward County Jail on charges of car burglar and attempted car burglar because he did burglarize one car. He was scared of her. It makes me wonder why was he flew? So he ran, he felt he didn't run away. He ran to a cop and asked for help. What was happening?

I feel like there's a missing part of the story. What was happening in the situation that this man felt? like he needed to get away from this woman. Maybe, you know, maybe he came across one of them crazy ladies. I don't know. Florida man was arrested because he was hurling chicken at his sister during an argument. He threw two pieces of chicken at his sister and threw his own backside in jail on a domestic battery charge as a result. They got into a fight. His name is Kanye Medley, 20. No relation to the other Kanye. He was taken into custody on Monday. Clearwater Police booked him on a domestic battery charge. He, and his sister got into a fight at their Clearwater residence, and they started exchanging words.

He grabbed a bag of chicken from her and began throwing the chicken at her. And it was from Church's chicken, which is also down the road. Wait, first off, why, you can be disrespecting the perfectly delicious chicken that way? Because that's some good chicken. Church's chicken is good chicken. Why are you throwing Church's chicken? Why are you wasting the chicken? The chicken didn't do anything to you?

So he's in jail now. He was taking a jail on battery. The sub 2K with Keltec, I don't know if you've, I mean, you should have, you know, check this out. You should have checked it out at some point. But the sub 2K from Keltec is an awesome 9mm carbine. I have the previous iteration of this. But the new, the new one, the Gen 3 is shipping now. And it has a lot of upgrades on it.

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Glock 19's fit flush the mags for Glock 9x. I have black 19 fits flush. Also, they have redesigned mechanics for that trigger as well. Lightened 5 pound pool. That translates to improved accuracy. Actions updated. It's easier to rack. The internal buffer means softer recoil. This is just a great carbine. I really like the sub 2K. I think you got to have one in your personal collection. I would recommend the Gen 3 because I'm lazy and I don't want to take my optics off. Just be honest about it. It's Keltech made in 4.4. Florida, family-owned values, family-made, at their best. You've got to check it out online yourself. Caltechweapons.com, the sub-2K-G-G-N-3, K-E-L-T-E-C, Weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. Well, look, yeah, I mean, I, you know, back in January, I endorsed him.

I think it's really important that we win this election, and I reiterated that to him. You know, we're going to be active in a variety of capacities throughout the rest of the year for to help, you know, not just the top of the ticket, but all around the country and particularly in Florida with some of the key issues we have to deal with. But, you know, a lot of it was just connecting about things. I mean, look, he's a dad. He's got a kid going to college. You know, I'm a dad. I've got three young kids in the household.

He's concerned about how my wife was doing. Obviously, she had a cancer scare a couple years ago. So it was just a good meeting and a good conversation. But he understands the importance of this election. He understands the damage that Biden is doing. I think you would see 180 degree different policies if we're able to win in November, which is important that we do. DeSantis is class.

He is a million percent class. And by the way, I can't think of a better way to bomb out the left going into the summer than, you know, that meme of DeSantis and Trump and like two dudes shaking hands, like coming together. That's something that's going to make – it's going to make the left really depressed. Welcome back to the program, Dana Lash with you, at top of the second hour. told you that they met on Sunday talking about fundraising and DeSantis is because you know 2024 November not that long away y'all we're getting into it now we're in it now I know that like the election season seemed long but that's just because the primary started so early but

we are in it now and I just think he's pure class and I got to say I like it you know people get into squabbles and all of that stuff during politics the people who are true pros and the people who are emotionally mature enough to handle it are those who don't take it personally and remember who their actual allies and their friends are and those who don't

and the ones you don't those are the trash people that you just discard by the wayside so this is class it's like a Republican Voltron coming together I have said this for so long isn't it right form the arms and legs

and all form the head And then, like, my favorite part of the Voltron is I have, gosh, I love that show when I was a kid. And I had, like, the smaller Voltron. And I had the bigger Voltron because all my cousins got me one of the cats one year. I each cousin got me a cat. And I had the whole thing. And you remember Voltron would be up in the air and then his feet were, wah, wow, and then his hands were, wow, because they're the cats. Right.

Was it a lion roar? I never understood it, but they did. I actually, I don't care. It's just, it's Voltron. That's all you need to know. It's amazing. And, oh, man, gosh, that was whenever Voltron came together, seriously, think about it. You guys know, I still get chills.

I get chills thinking about it now. Any episode, he's getting ready to fight the boss. And, you know, because Voltron collectively altogether is this. And when they all come to, I mean, everybody, they all bring their specific skill sets. And they all come together to make Voltron. They're powerful in their own right. individually. But they're unstoppable when they're all together. And they, and oh man, you knew when Voltron, all the cats were coming together, somebody was getting a whoop and you could not wait.

And it's that anticipation. I get disgusting. I got chills right now thinking about it. It's so inspiring. I loved it. Oh, my word. And they come together. And I love, by the way, how all the bad guys stopped fighting with Voltron and the cats long enough for Voltron to form and to monologue about it the whole time. Right. Yeah, thank heavens. Like, you know, that the, I loved it. Voltron. My second anime as a kid.

You know what my first anime was? What? Speed racing. That's all right. But I mean, growing up in the United States in the 70s and in the 80s, that's literally the only anime we ever had was Voltron and Speed Racer. I never just, I never thought about it. Voltron is actually anime.

Yeah. Huh. I mean, it's true. Yeah. fascinating. Look at that. I just, but that was activate interlocks.

I don't even know what that is, but I remember it, right? Dinotherms connected. What is that even? I don't know, but it means somebody's getting whooped. That's what it means. Infraselves up.

What? Don't even know. But someone's going to get their ass beat. The mega thrusters are a go. Megathrusting to whoop you down. That's what it is. Oh my gosh. man alive.

That's some inspiring stuff this Friday, is it not? How old are the people that don't know about Voltron? You know about Voltron, don't you, Steve? What? Wait a minute. Stop the show. You're in your late 20s. Stop the show.

Juan is shaking his head too. He doesn't have a clue. Like, wait, he's disappointed that Steve doesn't know or Juan doesn't have a clue. No, that Juan also doesn't know. And has never heard of Voltron. Oh. Wait a minute. I know it's Friday, guys.

bear with me, hold up, because this has actually influenced me to a regregious degree, Voltron, as a child. Holy cow, we're that old. Or they are just that un-American. I am shocked. I know it's anime. Shut up. At what age did you guys watch, like, for example, what age were you watching that show? I was in elementary school.

I don't know. So, what, seven? 80s. It would have been in the 80s, so I would have been like early teens. Okay, I'll say 10. I was 10 in 2005, so you put that together. I mean, there's reruns. A Voltron was running.

Steve could be my accident brother. So Voltron, because you guys don't know, I can't believe we're having to, oh my gosh. I bet everybody in the chat's dying right now. Right? Because everybody knows Voltron. My kids know Voltron. Well, it's because I'm her parent. You're probably not.

Your kids know Voltron. cane. Oh, yeah, they absolutely know Voltron. Yeah. They know they were first introduced to all the animas. When they started showing me animas, then I'm like, you want to see some OG animas? Here we go. And then you blew their minds? And then I blew their minds. That's my favorite. Like, yeah,

I take it and raise you a Voltron. And then they're like, what? Larry, our listener, said he was 42 in 2005, and he didn't know about Voltron. What? Larry. We're going to, Larry and Stephen

Juan are going to have to go to Voltron school and everyone else out there. Oh, man. Wasn't this this? So first off, you have the team of five. And they all, shut up one. The body, the arms, the legs, and the head. Yeah, they all had a cat. And then they all came together to form Voltron.

And Voltron protects the universe. Yeah, but a specific planet. And then there's the king's arc on and he fights. And they got, you know, all the body. And wasn't there, wasn't it from, wasn't Voltron from Go Lion? Was it? I think so. Was it?

I don't know. See, this is where me being severed at the time kicks in. I think that was a different thing. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. Anyway. But, yeah, it was, and they would fight and they had, I mean, gosh, can we, we can't

play the theme. We'll get totally kicked with a copyright, won't we? Will we? I think so. If you give it to me, I can play. If Steve plays it. Steve can play it. Steve, I'm going to need the Voltron theme. It's Friday because guys, you need to understand America. I know it's Japanese. Shut up. This is what I'm talking about. Everybody coming together for the good of the country. It's the Voltron politics strategy. I've been talking about this for like a decade. I've been saying this forever. People are now repeating it. It is the Voltron strategy for winning elections. Everyone brings their skill set. Now the simulcast They're not getting it, but we're playing it right now

How did we get here? The legend of Voltron Defender of the universe Doesn't matter, we're here now Loved by good Feared by evil So great This is good audio

Yeah Oh it's amazing audio This dude's voice I wanted to leave my voicemail grading His voice reminds me Captain Crunch I bet he is He's probably dresses like

Bert Reynolds He sounds like it. I just want to hear them form the cat. All the cats come together and form Voltron. Here it goes. The five pilots. It's like better than Transformers. It is.

I said it. Okay, Godly. This is like way earlier. I know. We have to apologize to the TV audience. The TV people have no idea what's going on. They're like, why is she just talking? We're playing the Voltron thing that we can't play on the simulcast because we'll

get our asses here off. Could one even show what Voltron looks like on this state? Can't even show that? We'll get ding for a copyright violation. But just get to where they're like, they form it because that's the part where all the kids. I would stand up in my living room watching those. And I'm like, yes. If you didn't do that, I literally would raise my arms and feet up.

And didn't they, like, create a sword out of nothing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The blazing sword. Yeah, the blazing sword. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. It was amazing. And it was, like he literally formed it out of the ether.

Brum. Talking about one saying there's Voltron indoctrination going on right now. Yeah. Just get me to where they form the Voltron, Steve. Just get me there. Just get me there because that's what Trump and DeSantis are doing right now. People can tell it's Friday. And yeah, they can tell it's Friday.

And also, I'm really trying to drive this point home. Because I see people who are like the, I see the, the, the, the, some of the hardcore. And I look, I like DeSantis in the primary. You guys know that. I will literally steamroll your grandmother over to win. I'm not even joking. If I, if they're like, Danny, you got a roll over this old lady to win in November. Okay.

I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I don't care. Go play it. Play it. Oh, yes.

There it is. I don't know what the hell is interlock. Dinotherms. Gosh. Still, the TV audience is just watching you do like mime. They have no idea. It's the Voltron thing. We can't play on simulcast.

We'll get sued. They're forming it right now. It's so flipping amazing. Oh, my gosh. I had every one of these. And see, now they're all coming together and he's going to narrate. Like you would in any respectable anime. Form feet and legs.

The cats come. coming together. Arms and. There you go. Arms and body. And here comes. It's forming right now. The head.

Right. And then he's like, the cats are growling. His hands are growling. His feet are growling. And then he does the blazing sword. And oh my gosh. I want to find out who's watching this and not hearing the Voltron theme. They're not hearing the Voltron theme.

And they're like, what is the matter with her? How they feel about these last few minutes? She's on drugs. She's on drugs. Do you know that because we can't play certain things on the television simulcast, people watch it and they're like, is she high? I'm not even kidding. Like that happens. Oh, man.

Yeah, Voltron was the best. Oh, yeah, there was the Car Voltron. I know. I know. I know it was the car Voltron as well. But, man, I'm telling you, Voltron was the be all end all. If you had a pick between Jojo and Voltron, Kane. Oh, man.

Jojo's bizarre adventure, which is a fabulous. As soon as you get over the, uh, in the first. First episode. Oh, gosh, the dudes. Cars? Oh, yeah, yeah. My thing, the difference between the two is that there's like a million episodes of Jojo. Yeah. And Iraqis a genius. They're all named after 80s stuff. There's a consumable amount of episodes of Voltron. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you had a pick, only one can exist. I don't know. I'd like, you know what, I don't know as a kid when I saw it, and we were lucky enough, by the way, in St. Louis, because not every city had a Voltron played at their local broadband. It was Copler that allowed it for television in St. Louis. So there were a lot of cities that probably didn't get Voltron like we did.

So we were lucky enough to do it. But as a kid, I'm not sure if I've seen every episode, even though I tried my hardest. So I would probably choose Voltron. Yeah, I probably would too. But I mean, I, you can watch those old episodes on Peacock. That's what it says. And there's apparently a newer version of Voltron that's on Netflix. No, it sucks.

But you can watch all the old ones on Peacock. No, I am watching the new one sucks. It's horrible. The newer one is the, is, no, it's trash. It's a trash baby. I haven't seen it so I can't call it a trash baby. I saw like one teaser and I was like, blah, next. I'm willing to give all the anime a chance at some point.

No, if it looks bad, then I will judge it harshly within the first 10 seconds. You got 10 seconds. And if you can't sell it in 10 seconds, bye. Not going to happen. We did this whole segment on Bolton and anime. People are dying across the country right now. politics. Felt good.

I got to tell you guys, who was it? We had somebody that came over to us and they're like, hey, we would like for you to do a podcast that's like not related to politics. Basically, they wanted me to do a podcast that was about politics but not about politics. And I was like, okay, let's do it on anime and music. And they were terrified. Like, what? No. And that was it.

We had one meeting. They're like, what kind of interest do you have? Like, I guess they thought I was going to talk about like shopping or something like that. I don't know. Hi, I'm Margaret, a rhetoric and media major at Hillsdale College. Here's Hillsdale President Dr. Larry Arne with a Constitution Minute. Many argue today that the Constitution is outdated because it addresses problems peculiar to the 18th century so long ago. And some of it does read sort of quaintly.

But consider the injunction against titles of nobility in Article 1, Section 9, for example. Is that so outdated? The purpose of that injunction is to prevent the government granting. special privileges for partisan reasons. This strikes at the rule of law, the rule under which were all to be treated the same. The crony capitalism so common today, where the government gives favors and tax dollars to some businesses and advantages over others, is exactly the kind of thing the Constitution was meant to prohibit.

The Constitution is not outdated at all. To learn more and get a free pocket constitution, visit constitutionminit.com. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quickfirm. So Apple has announced the largest ever $110 billion share buyback. This from CNBC is iPhone sales have dropped by 10%. Their fiscal second quarter earnings were just a little slightly higher than Wall Street expectations reported. But overall revenue is down 4%.

iPhone sales are falling by 10%. Is it just because people aren't buying the latest iPhone anymore? Like what's the, yeah, I mean, it's inflation and all of that too. But that's always been like, I feel like one of the last things that's, things that's been hit. You know what I mean? Additionally, the border agent on horseback, who is falsely accused of whipping migrants in Texas, has been awarded for his service. He ought to be. He really should be. This border patrol agent, you guys remember all of that when they said that, oh, people were

whipping the agents or the agents were whipping the people trying to cross with, they had whips, and they were actually horses reins. So the agent was recognized. You received an award for his intelligence work on human smuggling cases. Good for him. He ought to. In fact, they all ought to receive a presidential apology. Britney Spears got into a fight with her boyfriend at Chateau Marmont. The ambulance was called. She walked out in her underwear and a blanket. She apparently is now home and safe. All the people who are like free Britney, now do you see why she needed a conservatorship? They said she's in fear of going broke.

And she apparently is, you know, she didn't look well. And this study, which is trash. It says if you like loud cars, you might be a psychopath. Now, this is what gets me. I think this is a sexist study because they say that it's all about men. Men who like noisy cars are more likely to be psychopaths. And they get a kick out of watching people get startled. What about people who do stupid surveys like this and leave out women who, I love loud cars, I have a loud car.

I have a super loud car. It is a loud car that goes, it is one of those. It puts hair on your chest, even if you're a woman when you drive it. And I don't know why women were left out of this. That makes me mad, right? No. No, I wax it. I don't, but you know what I mean?

But they said that researchers wanted to understand. Now, who does this? Who does this? They wanted to understand whether or not there was a link between loud automobiles and the dark personality traits. They said that there's Machiavellian controlled manipulative. Oh, shut up. You people are so stupid. They looked at 529 participants.

And they're like, yeah, men like the louder cars. And I think that the researchers who did this are a bunch of giant pansies who all peeced sitting down. All of them, men included. So this is interesting. This is kind of a retread of the Ghost Army. You guys remember we talked about that before World War II. It was a sciop that the U.S. Army did on Germany. And they actually had employed a lot of people from Hollywood in order to fake out the Nazis.

so that patent could cross and get into Germany. But now they've released, the U.S. Army has released a mysterious Ghost in the Machine recruitment video. It's basically Ghost Army 2.0. It's information psychological warfare. And so they're trying to apparently recruit people for that. And the people who have no idea about the Ghost Army are acting like this is a brand new thing. This is called Ghost in the Machine 2.

And they posted this weird video online using the actual Ghost Army logo from back in the day. and they said that the Army Special Operations Command and Special Forces recruiters hope that it'll inspire new recruits to come into an often unseen and little-known job. You know what? You're not going to have any new recruits so long as you have commanding officers who are dudes who tuck and wear skirts and wear lipstick

and make you call them by fake unscientific pronouns. You're not going to get anybody who's going to sign up as long as you keep using the military as a social experiment instead of a fighting force. There's no introduction that really is needed. here. I have a special guest, as you can see. Mark Hamill has decided to join us on this wonderful Friday, and I am really excited to turn it over to Mr. Hamill. I'm sorry, guys. Just, okay, how many have you had Mark Hamill will lead the press briefing on your bingo card hands?

Okay, I'm going to go ahead and say a bunch of like, you know, just, you know, stereotypical statements that have, like, been said so many times over the years that you're a bingo card, Jack, how do fellow kids? Gosh, I'm going to cringe to death. Can you cringe to death? I think so. Died by cringing. Wasn't the Vax?

It was the cringe. Welcome back to the program. Top of the third hour. We had to see this on break, so we're sharing the burden. You owe us that much. Dana Lash with you. You can listen coast to coast terrestrily. You can also watch the simulcast on Channel 347 DirecTV.

We're on X, Rumble, all that good stuff. And YouTube. He's, you know what, I wasn't even paying attention and Keynes over there. You know why he's there, right? Like, what do you mean? Who? You know why Mark Hamel's there right at the White House press briefing? Good God, do I sound like that, really?

You're like, you know why he's there right? What did you tell me? Because tomorrow is May 4th and may the 4th be with you. Mark Hamel is overrated. He's a voice actor. and he was the worst part of Star Wars Oh, I said it.

He was the Natalie Portman of the original sequels. Oh, yes, he was. You're not my dad. He's on a first name basis, though. If I was Vader, I'd want to kill him. At any point, Vader, you could have just, too.

So now he's wearing, he is so high on his own farts. Like, he's getting life from the kids, liking his voice acting abilities, right? Because he's any joker and some other, I don't care. I don't care. And so he's, he, and he acts like it. That's, I think, half of the cringe is because he is unaware of how obvious it is that he is so high on this and loves himself. He is such a jackass to people online. He is so ignorant. I will say at least Stephen King has a body of work. Granted, he can't end his story properly and he gives up 30 quarters of the way through whatever you know

I'll just finish it with a big spider that's it a big spider hey I'm not going to explain the deadlights by everybody do a whole series on it never actually explain it I mean at least he's got you know at least he tried right whereas Mark Campbell just he is still he's still living on the Star Wars we'll play the other one this is oh you this will kill you this is gonna this is on a first name basis for the president it's going to hurt Go ahead. Well, you know, I called him Mr. President. He said, you can call me Joe?

And I said, can I call you Joe B. One Canovi? It took a beat for the whole assembled reporters, all the reporters to go, oh, that's a fun. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. They're looking around to see if other people are laughing. Everyone's doing the same thing. Oh, ha, ha, ha, looking at each other. It's so awkward, isn't it?

he's a horrible actor. What makes us even worse is that we see all of the unrest going on, obviously, all over the campuses. We just got the jobs report out today that was... Everything's just horrible. ...anorexically low. And this is what they're doing. They're touting out this little Hollywood, if you can even call him that. Yeah.

Vegas Larry noted that Joe doesn't even have anything on his diary today except to go to Delaware's Delaware Beach House later. And then they're bringing on Mark Campbell because tomorrow's May 4th, they should have had... You know what? If you're going to do it, do it right. Bring on Justin Timberlake on April 29th. Guess what, guys? Tomorrow, it's going to be now. April 30th, yeah. Yeah. So, like, just, you know, do it properly. Do it properly. But he's, I just, that's their priorities. I just can't get over how cringe it is. He's so, so if you've never experienced Mark Hamill being a jerk to you on Twitter, then you have never been on Twitter or X.

Because he's, he's been so rude to so many people. And I, that's why I'm just like, me. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.