The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Big Farmers

Episode Date: January 10, 2024

Hunter Biden makes a surprise appearance at a committee hearing. Meanwhile, KJP has another legendary gaffe.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaJoin the Coffee Club today and get 30% off your first month’s subscription.Express VPNhttps://expressvpn.com/danaGo incognito and protect your privacy with 3 extra months FREE.KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet free activation with code Dana.Wise Food Storagehttps://preparewithdana.comSave $50 on your 4-Week Survival Food Kit plus free shipping when you order today!

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. All right, so where to start? Let's start with this one. This headline is just all wrong.

Everything about this is horrible. A Florida man hides meth in his butt after hitting a paraplegic bicyclist. Oh, my gosh. I have tears in my eyes. Okay. It was a Ford hatchback that hit the bicyclists identified as Stephen Watkins. Oh, my gosh, Flager County. The paraplegic bicyclists had been paralyzed from the waist down to a staff infection that he contracted at work.

He had minor injuries from the incident, was transported to a local hospital. And the guy who was driving, the dude name, oh, the driver. Well, she looks like a dude. 48-year-old Clara Smith. She looks legit like she's 80. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. And she, apparently she and her passenger, they hit the bicyclist.

They didn't stop. And then the police noted that they had damage to their Ford hatchback corresponding with the incident. And she said that she hit a curb. And the crystal-like substance they found in her purse, it was meth. And then they caught it on body camera footage, the guy trying to hide it in his butt. Literally it was on body cam footage. and they told him to stop that. So they took him,

and they took them into custody. The guy's being held in $8,000 bond. She's being held on $3,500 bond because, you know, he did the, tried to hide the stuff, right? Yeah. Let's see. I got a,

Kane always says old people aren't innocent. A elderly man with a cane tried to rob a bank with a knife in Pensacola. An elderly man tried to rob a Snovis bank. The 74-year-old Randall Diggsby, walked in with his cane, brandished a knife and took a small amount

of cash, and he was arrested outside the bank the moment that he hobbled out. So, there were no injuries, the stolen money was recovered. And not all old people are innocent. It's not my fault. You hate old people. So, yeah. And then I got this one, a Florida man tried

to burn a deputy's face with a meth torch. Is there like a specific torch for just the meth? Like, what about like a candle torch? Is that like the same thing? No? As we move. Our partners who help bring you free radio. Our friends over at Keltech, the sub 2K if you're unfamiliar with the

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adjustable stock, easy to field strip. And you got all kinds of stuff that you can do. It folds and have it's like gun origami. Learn more about the sub 2K and that $100 rebate program by visiting Keltecweapons.com. K-E-L-T-E-C weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. He was in there for 17 minutes. 17 minutes. He didn't look well, did he? Was he high? He didn't look well. He looked ashy and like ashen and his skin looked horrible. He looked just bad. He had a bad complexion. He had dark circles. He didn't look well. And you could be like, it's the stress or it's the crack. Do you think that he realized, I liked what Kane said on break because I said, I think,

I feel like he got nervous when he got out because he had this like big stunt and then he storms out. And because they weren't expecting him to show up to the hearing. He shows up. So that was part one of his stunt. And then he storms out 17 minutes later, part two. And then all of a sudden, he's out in the hallway with the. reporters in the media scrum. I don't know if you saw his face, but dude, he was over his head. And he realized that he was over his head. Like his face was crazy. He had that, we got this.

Listen to this. Audio Sunday 15. Just listen to some of the questions they were hitting him with. Can you please, I'll answer your question. If you be quiet and let me make a statement. How a crack you normally smoke, Mr. Biden? Oh, that's crazy. what kind of i loved can i hear that one more time because the reporter was so serious you knew that you know that you know that this dude's writing a story on hunter's preferred brand of crack get his look i don't just listen i just got to hear it again please i'll answer your question if you be quiet and let me make a statement how the crack do you normally smoke mr biden i mean that was just a very what kind of crack do you normally

smoke mr biden is there like a britt in a sidebar i have known nothing about it is there like a particular brain you know how like the weed people like there's all these strains of weed is there i have can i have a sidebar to my sidebar i don't get into i don't believe the government should tell you what to consume or whatever i don't kick i just want to have my guns and have my money on tax and be left alone anyway um is it really all that different or did they lie to you are they just all high and they just are too high to know and they think they've got it convinced in their heads that there's all these different strains because i'm sorry it has turned into like a portlandia skit the marijuana stuff.

Like, this is our lady lavender lace. This strain is for relaxation and all that. And I just, I have no idea how that's even possible, but it's hysterical to me. So is crack? Are they doing the same thing with crack? What's real are the strains for marijuana. What isn't real, strains of crack. Okay.

There's only crack. There's only just the crack, the one crack. It's not like you're growing crack and you're taking a male crack plant. and cross-breeding it with a female crack plant. That's not how that works. I mean, the way that people talk about, like, the marijuana strains, it's like wine. Like, they're like Somali-A's. I don't know what you would call that for the marijuana people.

I just don't know what kind of crack do you prefer? Yeah, what kind of crack do you prefer? I mean, is there like a grain? You know, how like different, you know, if you're like... I guess there's stronger and... Loadden and... I've watched Breaking Bad. I've seen Breaking Band.

I guess there's more potent and less potent. I've never watched Breaking Bad. What? Yeah. I've never watched it. Really? Isn't that the show about the meth? It is.

So what did you learn about from crack from that? Well, I mean, essentially, I mean, look, there's just like with any drug, especially a hard drug like that, there's literally, it's not like you're breeding it. It's either potent or not as potent. That's not like a strain. Drugs 101 with cane. I just, I literally have no idea. Like I don't even know.

Okay. So here's, don't laugh. me. This is how much I don't know about drugs. Is, okay, so there's cocaine and then there's crack, right? Right. So, I know we've got to get going. Steve's dying. Oh my gosh, we got to play that other sound by two. You guys are killing me.

Is crack like the great value version of cocaine? No. Okay. Because I remember Whitney Houston, she said crack is whack and she was like offended when someone asked her if she smoked crack instead of cocaine. And it was like, she felt like it was offensive because that's, you know,

the downgraded. You have to cook crack. poor version. Yeah. You have to make crack into existence. Okay. So last question. So it comes in a rock form. You just said cook it.

Is that what like the poor drug users have to do? Because do you have to chip it? Is it like a prospecting? You got to chip your drugs off the rock? Like I don't know. Everybody who wants crack has to cook it. Okay. I just, I literally don't know about this.

I would love that. That's why that reporter's question. I was actually interested in that. I'm like, guess what kind of cocaine do you? do or imbibe however one does it. I mean, I don't know. I mean, is that the one with the spoons and the foil that you see in the cop shows? Correct.

Oh, but you don't do the cocaine like that. Yeah, you kind of can. I've seen it. I clearly need to, I don't know enough about drugs. Ask Hunter. It's time to break. Okay, I know. I was, long story, I was interested in that reporter's very serious question.

And now, all of the news you would probably mention. It's time for Dana's Quick 5. Oh my gosh, we have more of the, we have more from the Hunter Biden stuff. Someone asked him if he was on what kind of cracky smokes and I'm dead. Also, scientists discover that there's five types of Alzheimer's and they are hopeful that these discoveries, maybe the breakthroughs, could lead to a cure. They say they are subtypes that are different with abnormal proteins, progression and life expectancy. So they say that there's five different types, subtype one, two, three, four. four or five, and they get into brain cell growth, the overactive immune system contributing to it,

RNA dysregulation. There's a lot of very interesting stuff. So they think that this is a huge breakthrough. It's going to really, really help in finding remedies or, you know, maybe curing it altogether. Pressure is building on substack to stop paying. They're saying it's Nazi writers to stop doing revenue sharing with Nazi writers. Now, my question is, having not seen any of these supposed. Nazi writers that they're claiming exists on Substack.

I'm just wondering, because everyone, the left considers everybody a Nazi. I mean, remember, if you didn't support Obamacare, I literally had an elected official refer to me on CNN as a Nazi sympathizer because I did not support Obamacare. That honest to heavens happen. So I'm like, what is a not? Do they know what a Nazi is? I mean, it's a revenue sharing thing. Substack does not promote you.

It's just a facilitator. It's like a platform. It's like anything else. That's all it is. They say that writers keep their sales. They take something off the top, et cetera. I think you need to leave companies alone. And especially, I don't believe the left is the arbiter or really good with word definitions.

So, no, no, no. So the menthol ban, this is a big thing that's still, I mean, the fight that's still happening. The menthol ban is dividing health criminal and criminal justice advocates, which is fascinating. criminal justice advocates say that it is going to lead to over-policing of black neighborhoods. And before you say that, menthol cigarette bans would do that, just remember, wasn't it Eric Garner that was killed because of he was selling Lucy cigarettes in New York? And that's what ended up happening. He was killed because of the Lucy law that was passed by New York City Council. That's actually true.

They literally six months prior said that they wanted a more rigorous enforcement of Lucy laws because single cigarette sales were cutting into tax revenues for New York. Go look it up. So they said that menthol cigarettes, I actually do. think that there's something too that it could actually lead to over-policing of certain demographics. But also, why is the government getting involved in telling you what you can and can't smoke or can and can't drink? I mean, and? Let's leave people alone. This is the government. They can't even, they could even make a health portal work for crying out loud. Stop. You guys lost the jet. Come on. They did. So the SEC says it hasn't yet approved Bitcoin ETF and that the X account was compromised. So they said that

it was the SEC Gov account on Twitter or X. They said it was compromised that the unauthorized tweet regarding Bitcoin ETFs had not yet been made by the SEC or its staff, despite the fact that they tweeted out such. They said that the price of Bitcoin spiked briefly after the initial post and then quickly slid below $46,000. So they said it was compromised. Was it, though?

I feel like that was a draft that went out. That's what it... So the messenger says that Elon Musk is suspending prominent journalists and influencers. And the effect... They said it's a bunch of leftist people, people like The Intercept and others. The accounts were reinstated hours later, but they said that they were suspended because they had criticized Musk. Wait a minute. Now you guys are concerned about that stuff?

Like what about when somebody like me was suspended because of the New York Post story I shared? Stay with us. In addition to record-breaking enrollment for health care coverage through the ACA, thanks to the Inflation Reduction Act, which every single Republican member of Congress voted against, we took on Big Farmer and we won. Took on Big Farmer. What? Took on Big Farmer.

It's the only time I can play the Kinney Chessie song. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash here with you. Corrie Jean-Pierre went to war with Big Farmer. Jolly Green Giant is still rep in Big Farmer? Paul Bunyan was the rep. May he rest in peace. And I think it was Jolly Green Giant.

Ho, ho, ho. Right? But they told him he couldn't. say ho ho ho anymore because it was like insensitive to like promiscuous ladies so i you know big farmer maybe she's actually talking about a large farmer maybe they just you know had a little dust up i don't know she who the hell knows can we play her hits here because she said some things in the past kjp where i'm i mean she might be talking about a large farming person i don't know kane what's of the other stuff she said. Remember? Just so you know, this montage was created nearly a year

ago. So it just gives you an idea of how long she's been mispronouncing things. We're going to try to see if we can get through this without an eruption. Yeah, listen to all of this. Emeritus Benedict 16th. Emeritus. Stop. Wait, whoa, whoa, we'll put it. She meant emeritus, but emeritus sounds like a nasty foot disease. Oh, what's wrong with you? It's my MRIis. It's just, it's an antibiotic for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead. Sorry. bipartisan support. So by caramel, does that mean two separate types of carmels?

Yes, my favorite kind of caramel. Not by caramel. By caramel. By caramel. That's a fancy way to say caramel. Okay, go on. Clouser, who won the Nobel Prize in physics. Noble Prize.

You know, it is, Kane, we were talking about this. I mean, the Nobel Prize is respectable. It's a respectable Nobel Prize. It goes to. To say otherwise is just. denying science? Yeah, I mean, it goes to, noble people win the prize, right? I mean, it is, you know,

it's real, R-I-L, it is real respectable. The noble prize is, you know, it's noble. It is noble. It is esteemed. It is respected. You know, it's a real noble. Go ahead. Sciences. The vice president will

visit the DMZ. Nearly 70 years since that sounds like a James store. the it's the demilitarized zone okay go ahead the vis using energy

they're weaponizing energy and it's choosing to one of the things that has been out there to shut down the pipeline of Nordstrom 1 instead of risking their lives whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa now this is when I'm really going to object

because Nordstrom has some great sales and now when you shut down the pipeline of those sales like they have a real good sales going on right now when you shut when you shut down that that nordstrom sale leave the nordstrom sale pipeline alone i want the pipeline of sales you're screwed up their supply chain i'm telling you like they got some great deals right now on like some out of season stuff like you can get some stuff up to like 70% off they're not advertising on the show but hell they all to after this point i mean the northstrom pipeline but a northstrom pipeline like if that can you imagine

like right to your house go ahead sorry uh human struggleers human struggleers Human. Not smugglers. They're not human smugglers. They're human strugglers. Like there's like aliens? Like struggling to be human? No, I think they said there's human struggles.

Like struggling humans? Yeah. Well, some days I struggle. Am I a human struggler? Federally illegal to struggle humans. Yeah, what is a struggler? Like, is there any other type of human, like a lizard struggler? like that lizard is struggling or look at that rhinoceros.

That's a struggling right now. It's a rhinoceros struggler. It's just struggling really badly. It's a drought or something. I don't know, right? Big farmer. We went out into the fields and we beat there. I mean, I'm just big farmer.

She's, well. Juan, you have tyranny? Because we haven't, you know, tyranny is a serious thing. I'm sorry. What? KJP, though, tyranny, this is how she pronounces it. We will continue to take actions to support Ukraine in their fight for freedom against

tyranny and to curb Iran's being. She's like my mom. My mom, I think, don't tell her this. She's just like basic everyday words. Sometimes I think it's on purpose. It's just like a random basic everyday word. She will take it and turn it inside out. And you're just, you're like, what?

I'm, what? You put the wrong emphasis on the improper syllable. You have to put the emphasis on this salable. That's like, I mean, she's not as bad as Jill Biden. C-se-Puadwe. She's not as bad as that. Or I have to actually stop and make myself say it wrong. Bogoda.

Bogada. But they have like a real problem with language and this administration. Tyroney. You know, like when you tie your shoes. Tyranny. It's a special knot. So it doesn't come on tide when you're running. So when they said they took on Big Farmer, what does that mean? I mean, kind of, well, let's look at it, though. They kind of did look at food prices. They're trying to get you to not eat meat.

We took on Big Farmer, the John Deere people. But Big Farmer, though, you literally mandated pharmaceuticals, a pharmaceutical. How is that taking them on? We demand that you give these people money. Like you bought them. You bought all kinds of pharmaceutical stuff for the Rona with taxpayer dollars. You gave them billions of taxpayer dollars.

How in the hell is that taking them on? I have never take, is that the new definition of taking it? Somebody take me on. Yes, come take me on. Give me some. This is when aha comes in. give me some billions of dollars please this take on a big farmer brought to you by Pfizer yeah Pfizer taking on big farmer every day oh my gosh I can't I can't so that's I mean it's

unintentionally honest I guess I don't know I don't know I just this is one of my favorite soundbites so far we're not even a full week into this year and I'm already like big farmer all right spinning geez for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.