The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Cringey And Dishonest

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

Dana reacts to Kamala’s cringeworthy phone call asking Tim Walz to be her running mate and their rally in Philadelphia. Meanwhile, Rep. Cori Bush gives a threatening speech after losing her primary election.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Byrnahttps://byrna.com/danaVisit today for 10% off and get the protection you need.  Cozy Earthhttps://cozyearth.com/danaUse code DANA to save up to 40% today at cozyearth.com/danaGoldcohttps://danalikesgold.comGet your free Gold Kit from GoldCo today.Hillsdalehttps://danaforhillsdale.comWatch a portrayal of Thomas Jefferson reflecting on the Declaration of Independence in one of his final letters and get your free commemorative copy of the Declaration of Independence today.KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news.Lumenhttps://lumen.me/DANASHOWVisit lumen.me/danashow today for 15% off your purchase.  Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet a free month of service with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.

Dana Lashes of Surtruth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. This is a crazy story. A Florida mom claimed that her neighbors were pedophiles and tried to have them killed, say, authorities. But instead, deputies were ambushed. So three deputies were shot, one fatally, and a search showed the suspects had more, they had a lot of, well, they were preparing for something. but it seemed like they were very delusional.

She's being now accused of ambushing law enforcement. So essentially, they live northwest of Orlando. They were preparing, I guess, to ambush the neighbors. And then the cops showed up as they were preparing to ambush the neighbors. So then the cops ended up getting ambushed. This is insane. And they arrested Julie Sulpezeo on suspicion of murder, attempted murder, and a ton of other crimes. And now it goes before a grand jury.

arraignment is scheduled for September 3rd. And she said that she was trying to lure the neighbors to her home so her husband could kill them. What? What? That's, that's, I don't know. She said they were sinners. They know what, she told her neighbors, I know what you did. And I don't know.

It's just, it's wild. This story's insane. So, Kane's like, I don't even, I know. I don't, I don't even know. Let's see. Florida man. Oh, golly. A Florida man faces prison time

Because he decided to Showcase himself In a not proper way at a casino Nobody actually knows Why he chose To make such a reveal But he was He was described as waving

His Frankenbeins in the casino's Poker Room And then he got into trouble with the guards and was arrested. 47-year-old Abdul Zania. And, yeah, so that's what ended up happening. And he was totally arrested for being grody. I don't, I can't even, I don't know, man. Pitbull Stadium fans go wild because Pitbull is buying the Florida School's A-school's naming rights in the first ever deal of its kind.

So this from Daily Mail, Mr. Worldwide, it's Florida International University's football stadium. Pitbull Armando Perez, real name. He signed a five-year deal worth $6 million, an option to extend it for the first five years. And so it's going to be Pit Bull Stadium. That's what it's going to be. I mean, why couldn't he do it? Don't the Tostitos people have a thing like it's the Tostetians Stadium or something like that? I don't know.

So anyway, so he's going to have Pitbull Stadium. So there you go. People are going to do whatever he wants. Leave me alone. And a Florida, oh my gosh, okay, a Florida man calling out to coyotes survived an attack by Armadillos. And then he also is a dude who was on video getting into a fight with his bear in his garage. But he was outside calling, he thought he heard coyotes and he goes out there. And it turns out it was two thick skin wobbling mammals, two armadillos coming across the driveway behind me.

And he goes, I thought they were blind, but they seemed to be right on target. And they just totally knock him down. This guy needs to stay away from wildlife. Hey, dudes, listen up. I have a gift idea. could truly impress the lady in your life and transform your home into a much-needed sanctuary, all with the luxurious comfort of cozy earth. It's called Cozy Earth. She'll be impressed, and Cozy Earth uses only the finest fabrics and textiles, making their products super soft and

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earth.com slash Dana and use codeana to get up to 40% off. Hi, this is Tim. It's Kamala Harris. Good morning, Governor. Good morning, Madam Vice President. Listen, I want you to do this with me. Let's do this together. Would you be my running mate and let's get this thing on the road? I was going to be like, do what? I would be honored, Madam Vice President. The joy that you're bringing back to the country,

the enthusiasm that's out there, it'll be a privilege to take this with you across the country. Well, let me tell you, I have just the utmost respect for you. I have really, enjoyed our work together. You understand our country. You have dedicated yourself to our country in so many different, in beautiful ways. And we're going to do this. We're going to win. And we're going

to unify our country and remind everyone that we are fighting for the future for everyone. So let's get out there and get this done, okay? Let's do it. Do the work in front of us. Let's win this thing. That's right. All right, I'll see you soon. Take care. Thank you. Okay. If you guys

believe that they actually had a telephone call. Before we get the show started, can I just offload some property here? I've got an amazing deal right now on a bridge, Kane. It's just a great deal. I mean, it's just such a beautiful deal. It's a bridge that I have. It's in New York, actually. Maybe you've heard of it. It's actually in Brooklyn. It's a beautiful bridge, beautiful. I will give it to you. Give it to you. Because that's, you know, I'm giving it away, you know, for the cool, cool price of just, you know, $10 million. 20 million maybe. But I could go down to 10.

You know, it's a beautiful bridge. I'll give it to. If you believe that these two freaks actually had the phone call that you heard, I didn't get to touch on the call yesterday. It's a perfect call. I didn't get to touch on it because there were so many things to hit yesterday. And then, of course, you know, and then we had their big campaign event and whatever,

I don't know, whatever the hell you want to call it. God help us all. We're in the stupidest news cycle I've ever been in my entire life. and I'm almost without words. I'm almost without words. So welcome to the program. And Dana Lash with you. I'm just seeing like some of the craziest stuff because everything's coming up. Everything's firing. So welcome to the program. Dana Lash with you. Top of this first hour. The hell day is it Wednesday. My gosh, it's only Wednesday. I'm supposed to not tell you people that I'm supposed to be like, oh, it's Wednesday. We're going to get through

together. Look, I ain't going to lie. All right. The economy's trash. And we got the weirdest people running for office, and it's just a nightmare. All right. So, where to start? Can we go to five? Doug Imhoff decided to pick, no,

he's the, what do they call him? He is the first bitch. What? First gentleman? Which is so stupid. He's the guy who got the nanny pregnant in his first marriage. Anyway, I would be a little worried about him calling us blonde.

He called Gwen Wall. So not only did they have one awkward phone call, but they had another awkward phone call. Cue the awkward phone call. Audio sound by five ladies and gentlemen. So weird. Look at him. He's such a freak.

Hello. Gwen? Yes. It's Doug Emaw. How are you? Don't worry. I'm not going to get you pregnant. Right.

Yes, thank you. It's so considerate. I think this one is right. I remember getting this call four years ago. and I actually know what you're going through right now, but the good news is I've already been through it. So just like Dr. Biden was there for me who had been through it. Don't sleep with your nanny if I could give you any advice, Quinn.

We're going to do this together. Thank you. Don't get your nanny pregnant. And Tom are going to do this together, and we are going to win this election together. And I cannot wait. It's so awkward. Doesn't he look awkward?

Can I just say, I'm going to get into everything else, but can I just say, I was looking at the end, and we can because nobody cares about these two? freaks anymore. I, when I first got the, when I first saw the headline that he actually got his nanny pregnant, I'm like, I can't believe that two women conceived with him because he's so, no, no, uh-uh. I think he, he probably just the upon appearances reduces a woman's fertility rate by like 20% just upon appearances. All right. So really it was, so they had their little phone calls. They had their event yesterday. Did you guys see that, did you guys, well, I had to watch it because

is my job. They had Josh Shapiro go out there. I can understand, even though they hate Jews, I can understand why Democrats didn't want Josh Shapiro to be on the ticket with Kamala Harris. Because did you hear Josh Shapiro speak? Guys, Democrats actually have somebody who can talk.

It's very, well, without his voice kind of cracked, audio sound by 17. This was some of Josh Shapiro yesterday. He was very energetic. Listen. Are you ready to form a more perfect union? are you ready to build an America where no matter what you look like, where you come from, who you love or who you pray to,

that this will be a place for you. And are you ready to look at the next president of the United States in the... So Josh Shapiro goes out there. He actually, he's not a moderate. And we talked about this yesterday. I'm not going to relitigate it today. There's no such thing as moderates on the Democrat side. They don't have moderates.

Okay. That's like saying Doug Amhoff has any kind of self-awareness or restraint. But they have no moderates, but they're trying to rewrite and retcon everybody's history about moderation. Right. So Josh Shapiro goes out and they're like, oh, here's this moderate in Pennsylvania. He's going to sit here and introduce these. Because they act like Kamala Harris is a moderate in Tennessee. Walls is a moderate, neither of them are.

So they go out and he, you can't, Kamala Harris cannot have someone on the ticket who looks like they're more competent than she is. And just by way of saying a sentence that doesn't sound insane, Josh Shapiro sounded better than Kamala Harris did. She went out there and she was like, what did she say? Good evening.

Good evening. Did we have her saying this a million times? Wait a minute, can we play this so that the people can get an idea? If you guys, Spared yourselves. I didn't spare me. But you got, yeah. Oh my gosh. This is how she started it. Audio sound by 10, you guys. This is how she, first thing she said when she came out on stage. Good evening. She sounds like what you say to kids. Like when you're talking to kids and you're trying to get them, you know, to calm down. That's, it is just odd. It is just odd.

So that's, she came on after Josh Shapiro sounding like that. And then you can kind of understand why they didn't really, I think, want Shapiro to be on the ticket. And I feel like he did a really good job speaking, even though he's wrong on everything. And I just think he's, you know, I'm not a fan of him at all. But just looking at it clinically, he can speak. That's, you know, I know it's the minimum for these guys, guys, give him something. Come on. You know, it's the minimum for him, bless her buttons. He can speak, guys. He can string a sentence together without saying the same canned stuff over and over again. So he goes out there. He, gets everybody amped up. And then these two

stooges come out. And they walked out. It was the weirdest thing ever. It was like two chick-falay employees that were real ginger about interacting with the public. It was just weird. The whole demeanor. So they come out. And then Tim Walts, I hope you realize, do we have the

cat? Yeah, here it is. Audio Soundbite 14. This is the remark that stuck out to me. So he remarks on J.D. Vance. Now, I just want to tell you guys, before I play this audio soundbite, I have tried to on my career. Be real nice. Not real nice, but I've tried to be nicer. You know, I have kids that are more aware. I can't be the bare-knuckle brawler that I came up into this industry as, like literally jumping off of stages and going into fights with people.

Because in my mind, I'm like seven foot two. Kane is dying laughing. I would terrify my bosses, my husband. I'd be like, you, you're a jack-way, and I'm off the stage. I literally would not even take the mic. And then we're staged. She's in the audience fighting with somebody. And my husband's like, oh my gosh. God love that man. But as my kids are getting older, I'm like, wow, maybe I should be a lady and nice, you know, er, in public. A lady er and nice er in public. And people are really tempted me with stuff like this.

This is bait for me, right? Because I feel like Bain. Like, you know, you guys merely, these people merely adopted being mean. I grew up in it, okay? I was formed by mean. And so when I hear people like Tim Wals make these kind of remarks like this, because it's, what he's saying is not what he's saying. If you've heard the rumor about J.D. Vance, they're trying to LBJ him.

Now, if you want to know what I mean by the LBJ thing, way back when, I'll reiterate this really quickly, way back when LBJ was running for state office, and he, I can't even remember what office it was. And he told his campaign manager, we'll put it out there that my opponent likes to fornicate with pigs. He didn't say that F word. but you know what I mean. He was a pig fornicator.

Again, not that F word, but you get the idea. And the campaign manager was like, sir, we can't do this. That's insane. You can't say this guy's a pig fornicator. You know, it's not true. That never happened. LBJ was like, yeah, son, that's not the point. The point is to get the man to deny it, elevate it, and then reduce your own branding

by elevating it, your value by elevating it. That's the whole point. It's a sciop. So there was this thing that went around. The left started accusing J.D. Vans. of being a couch fornicator. I mean, literally a sofa fornicator. Can you heard it?

I'm just telling me, because I need to tell you this so this soundbite makes sense. So I'm at a crossroads here. How mean do I get with this, Tim Walz? Because he might be this, you know, old dude from Minnesota, but I was raised by a bunch of Ozark women. So, and sailors. So, you know, feels like that, you know, actual Navy sailors. So I feel like that's, you know.

so I hear him say stuff like this and I need you guys to determine you know if I'm going to be the new year new me or not so Tim Walz brings up this this um fecal post about uh J.D. Vance about the sofa audio sound bite 14. That is if he's willing to get off the couch and show up. I see what I did there. I see what I did there. He, like, he, like, patted himself on the back. Is that not cringe? See what I did there? I made a joke about a fecal post.

But they don't call it that. They call it a sh. It starts with that post. You don't see, I made a joke about this rumor. If he's willing to get off the couch, or ha, ha, see what I did there? Wink, wink, wink. No, that's so cringe. I just about died.

I about died. That wasn't the most cringe part of last night, though, guys. It wasn't. I know you're like, wait a minute, Dana. What? Oh, no. Are you guys ready for the most cringe quote of the night? I give you audio soundbite 7 in all of its glorious glory.

Match up between the varsity team and the JV squad. Ah! So brat. That's so not original. That is so not original. She's... I can't have. not deal. She actually said that. And she was talking about Walson Vance. So, I mean, how many,

literally how many times have you heard like that phrase over and over again? And she trotted it out like it was the most original thing in the world. Notice how she checked the prompter too. She checked the prompter. She couldn't even remember it. She's looking on. You can see her look over at the prompter because it was right there. She had to like check the prompter to even be able to speak. I'm just, I can't, I can't even with these people. Partners over a Teltec, the P-15. It's an awesome 9-millimeter striker-fire pistol. This is like the lightest, the double-stack 9-millimeter on the market. I have it. There's the polymer version and the metal version. The metal version is like a James Bond gun. It has a wood-grip, textured grips,

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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So a taxi driver went on a rampage through Colon's old town in Germany before somebody actually finally apprehended him. The Jordanian, 44 years old, raised his car down a street in North Rhine, Westphalia. Shortly after 10 p.m., he ran over two women, age 22 and 23 head on. He then spit on in his Volkswagen Passat. towards the Grein River where he hit two more women. And a fifth one managed to save herself

because she just barely was able to jump to the side. German reports suggested the act was absolutely deliberate. A 27-year-old woman was left seriously injured. And a 34-year-old waiter from a brewery in front of where everything happened, he managed to detain the driver until police arrives. So that guy's a hero. But, yeah, Germany's got issues. That's what happens when you just allow every time Dick and Harry to come in your country.

You don't check as to who they are. are and you have absolutely no assimilation, nothing, and you have such disparate cultures that it's now, it's insane the way it is. Let's see, this. Oh, an MTA worker cut his own hand and then lied about being slashed on the subway

in a bid to, quote, have the summer off. Yeah, that actually happened. Transit System Cleaner was so desperate for a vacation that he lied about getting cut on the job. So he cut his own hands to try to sell it, according to prosecutors. He said he wanted to add this somewhere off because it was too hot down there. That's what he told prosecutors after it was all exposed.

You know, there's, maybe you should just get a different job where you don't have to work underground like that. You know, I mean, that's also a also thing. Bangsi has his second artwork and 24 hours appear in London, according to British media. Apparently, it's like two elephants in a window and they're touching trunks. And that's apparently what it is. So, I don't know. He said it's a new artwork in London, two elephants poking their heads out a blocked out of They said it could be the elephant in the room.

It could, really, though? I mean, it's just two stenciled elephants. What the hell? Like, it's literally just two stenciled elephants. And that's all it is. And the paint's even running down on one. So I don't get it. Like, I don't know.

Into the gift shop we go. What? Yeah, there you go. By the way, I hate majority. Really do. Let's see this. No. No, no, no, no.

What is this? What is this headline? It's called Good Luck Killing the huge worms here in Texas. By the way, the pop-ups for this website make me want to go find whoever did the website and kill all of them. It's an invasive worm species. The hammerhead flatworm is toxic and it's in Texas. It also carries parasites and can grow over a foot long. And if you cut it in half, it just regenerates and it's gross-looking.

They've been around in Texas for quite some time. Hurricane barrels brought up quite a few of them. Okay, where in Texas? It doesn't tell you because this reporter who writes this story sucks out loud. Where is it? I'm going to have to do the reporter's job and look it up because they don't tell you where in Texas it is. They're just like random worms in Texas. I'm thinking if it's Hurricane Barrel, it's probably towards like Harris County.

That's what I'm thinking. But no, KMX didn't actually do the job. They didn't fire your reporter. That's horrible. They suck. And a fourth grader, this is crazy. came home from after school, died unexpectedly. This fourth grader had orientation at school in Georgia,

came home from school, died unexpectedly. They're still waiting for reports from the medical examiner. That's all they have? That's all they have for this? They have a go-fund me. Stick with us. Now, with that said, can we talk about Cory Bush? Cory Bush out there threatening everybody.

Where's the one where she said, hang on. I don't even know where to start with this. Is it? Okay, hey, hey, which one is it? 33. Oh, my gosh. Oh, audio, yes, audio sound bite 33. This was her last night.

So she lost her primary. What you need to know about Missouri's first congressional district. I used to live there. Is that the primary is the general because Republicans can't win there. It is so Democrat. It's crazy. And Republicans have tried to make some inroads in there, but it's super Democrat. Anyway, she's being challenged by another lefty named Wesley Bell, who also came out.

It's a tale of two people who came up in Ferguson. One guy actually tried to go, and even though I don't agree with him, he's very far left. But he actually tried to go the route of, well, let me see what I can actually do. Corey Bush wanted to go the self-glurification way. So anyway, he ends up besting her in the primary, and she's livid. Audio sound by 33. As much as I love my job. But all they did was radicalized me, and so now they need to be afraid.

Well, I mean, Audio Sound By 34, you know. she is powerful, y'all. Didn't she have like a shaman or something on her campaign or something like that? I don't know. But she was like curing people with her hands. Audio Sunday, 34, listen to this. Maybe she has a power. I don't know.

You're a pastor. Yeah. She's a pastor. You write about healing through faith. At one point, you came across a woman with, quote, several visible tumors on her torso. Tell me what happened. So at that time, I, along with a group of, friends, we would go out on the street and just meet with people and pray with people and offer them food.

And this lady came to us and she had these tumors. I mean, she wanted us to like fill them. And I just remember I put my hand on her and my hand just began to move. And the lumps that were there were no longer there. And she was so happy and she like went on about her day. I never saw her again. So you think the tumor's disappeared? I do. I do. And this woman was unhoused.

She's someone who, you know, had been sleeping in the shelters and sleeping. Unhoused. Yeah. Like if you don't have a car and you steal one. Oh, they're unautomobiled. You know, they are without wheels. That's. So by the power of gray skull.

No, I'm not even going to pretend that that isn't anything not kooky as all hell. Oh my gosh. even the devil could quote scripture, y'all, to cite Shakespeare. That, you know, that's also true. But remember the guy that she had? Hold up. Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold on. Wouldn't she dating this dude? The guy's a security guy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like a security guy, but wasn't he, like, magical? Hang on, hang on. I know I have this somewhere. Oh, yeah. Well, it's the security guard husband. She was paying this guy. But didn't she have somebody, like, wasn't there somebody on her like who was like threatening people and all this stuff like wouldn't I don't know there's so many crazy things with her campaign

and her like staff I can't even keep it all straight it's insane I'm 26 is that you're talking about her campaign uh

well yeah well by the way speaking of that yeah this is when she was saying that you know she's important like you might be important as a voter but she's important her audio sent by 26 you know she's got to have

she needs a police to be defunded, but not her security. Listen to this. Flashback. If I end up spending $200,000, if I spend $10 more on it, you know what? I get to be here to do the work. So suck it up and defunding the police has to happen. We need to defund the police and put that money into social safety nets. So she, she's telling you to suck it up the expensive private security that she demands for herself. But, you know, your tax dollars, she wants your tax dollars to fund her security, but she don't want your tax dollars going towards, you know, police. So she's out and she's mad.

And they all blamed APEC. So I'm just going to play by their rules. That seems to be anti-Semitic, right? Yeah. It seems like that's, that's, uh... Yeah, I mean, yeah, I thought, I mean, if she's blaming APEC out there, because that's kind of my thing. Like, I see them saying this, and I was watching it, where's this?

This is audio sum by 24. Let me touch on this. So I know we got to get moving, but I don't want to. On CNN, Jake Tapper is sitting there listening to his colleagues, be raging anti-Sumites. Now, you can't say that Kamala Harris couldn't pick Josh Shapiro because Josh Shapiro is Jewish, and they were having a major problem with it. But, you know, you can blame APEC like Cory Bush has been doing and being like, oh, my gosh, this is there. But listen to this 24. CNN, they're having some problems. CNN is having a time.

And I think ultimately, Shapiro, I think fit is important. But, you know, I also think that when you look at the principle of do no harm, maybe they did say in a state like Minnesota, do we want to, those 100,000 uncommitted voters who came out about the Gaza war, do we want to antagonize those voters? those are all parts of part of the questions as well. So can I just say? Tim Walts also spoke consulatoryly towards those people. He said, look, that uncommitted vote is significant and those people should be heard. So having that kind of response, I think,

is probably more of an open door to the parts of the party that have been very frustrated with the Democrats. So, but just to one point on the, on the Gaza war, Shapiro has the same position. on Israel that Governor Walls that Senator Kelly has. He's actually been more critical of Netanyahu than the other two, but he is Jewish. He's also the face of the crackdown on the protests, right?

He spoke very vehemently about those campus protests as being anti-Semitic. Not all of them, the ones that were anti-Semitic, he criticized as being anti-Semitic. He was out front on the issue. So I'm wondering if that's the kind of thing that. You're not going to best the Hamas wing of your party, dude. Hamas controls the party now. You're going to best the Hamas wing of the party. By the way, so Lorraine reminds me, so the guy who was, he was, he said he couldn't have,

so the guy that was on her payroll, the husband security guy, he was an ex-Black Panther who blamed the Jews for COVID. And then when people started being like, wow, you sound pretty like raging anti-Semitic. He said, no, I can't be because I'm a Jewish high priest. So. There's, there's. that. Yep, that's so, bye, Corey. Bye. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's

absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.