The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Dana's Artwork Reprisal

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

The Dana Show wants to try to see if they can draw artwork similar to Hunter Biden and make millions. Meanwhile, Dana hides her phone in a secret Faraday bag after her content from YouTube got taken down.Please visit our great sponsors:All Family Pharmacyhttps://allfamilypharma.com/danaSave 10% with code DANA10 when you order today at https://allfamilypharma.com/dana

Dana Lashes of Surtruth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. Oh, let's see here. Man, I got a couple. I got a can't. There's one I want to read, but I don't know if I have the courage to do it yet. So we'll come back.

But let's talk about this Airbnb host. Shall we? Airbnb host was shocked after finding a Florida man hiding under her bed. What? So the Airbnb host found a Florida man hiding under the bed in a unit. Unit, I said her, but as he was cleaning up after a guest's stay, Luis Lopez Lopez showed the moment that he spotted the Florida man. The police had to get involved.

He didn't press charges. but it's funny because it's on video and he was cleaning this unit and he discovered the dude under the bed with his phone plugged under the charger. And Luis goes, you got to get out from under the bed, bro. This isn't our Airbnb. I mean, it's on video. He's like recording the guy under the bed with his phone charging. And then he put up a second video where police had to deal with the problem because the guy would leave. And so he said that the guests who stayed in the unit had let this guy in and then allowed him to remain there when they had left.

and so because he never broke in the guy like never pressed charges he said they let him in there and then they left and so he stayed there and tried to hide and so he goes I did take it up with the renter and we're getting that under control I thought there was a nice way that he he you know although he's a dude can I just say that this is a dude he's a larger dude and he's got the luxury of that if that had been a woman that dude have been pumped full of lead

because a woman's not going to sit here and take that I'm saying you don't know like are you get can you give me a for Can you give me some kind of affirmation that you're not going to rate me? You know what I mean? So I'm glad that he was able to take care of it. We're going to have to start widening Florida man here to include Florida Bear. WPTV. Florida Bear swipes a $45 to-it's an expensive Taco Bell order.

A $45 Taco Bell order from a porch after an Uber eats delivery. Now this bear walked up to the porch, stole their money, came. back for the soda. Not even making this up. Longwood, Florida. I mean, a bear straight up came up, captured on the doorbell camera. He went right up, grabbed the bag

in his mouth. Then he came back and took the soda. He took all of it. Uber eats reimburse them for the bear. Man, I, man, I don't know. I just find that hysterical. This is like the fifth story

and the two months that we had, where a is eating stuff, drinking somebody's beer doing this. Man, those bears are a while. For the last hour on break, I was made myself sick high on a Sharpie, basically. This is powerful. Whenever I have books come out and I go through almost a half a box of these things and I sign, I have to sign books at a book event. I mean, after a while, those fumes kitchen, you got, but not in a good way.

I mean, you're just, ooh. So I was wondering, because, you know, I'm so artistic. And I thought, well, but I could draw a picture of cane. I mean, what's the difference between us and Hunter Biden? You know what I mean? I mean, besides straws and crack. Well, yeah. Well, he's a boy and he's a male.

And also on the drugs and gross hookers. Infant baby son. Infant baby son, yeah. He's probably the only old dude that is so, like, they try to act like he's younger than us. and then of course don't forget he's the president's son merches out the elected office all those good things so I drew a picture I've not shown this to Kane I was like why bet I could draw a picture of Kane yeah I was getting excited about it because I feel like I'm at like six flags or some sort of

theme park where you pay the person to kind of sketch you you know you sit there at the bench well don't get your hopes up okay I'm just saying you know although I'm super artistic if you believe that I don't believe anything I there's certain things I can do drawing. Well, let's just say I can master anything. This is a Renaissance masterpiece. Really, it's a masterpiece.

So I did this. In my defense, just to say, just to add the perspective. No, perspective. You're in the dark over there. True. So it was hard to get your visage. Got my what?

Your visage. Got it. So I drew a picture of you. I think the lightness is amazing. That looks just like you. not accurate at all. No, it looks just like, it looks just like you. We got, for the people watching the simulcast, he's always in like a hoodie of some sort.

I can't really do shoulders or arms that well. It's still a renaissance masterpiece. He's got headphones on. Right. His eyes, I can't draw eyes totally great, but, you know, it's still a renaissance masterpiece. The facial hair was a little tricky. Yeah. So I just put it all there where the facial hair is supposed to go, the lower face portion.

Right? Could have been worse. He's got the headphones, his cans that he wears for radio. It's over his hair. He's got the core. Look at the cord I did. I did a cord for those not able to look. Attention to detail.

I know. The attention to DJ. I got the buttons on your shirt. I got the cord that goes. I mean, it looks literally just like you. Hold on. What are those words at the bottom? Read it for the audience that's listening at home.

Brought to you by probiotics. Ha! I think that this is probably worth a million dollars. I'd say it's more than that. I might be a little biased. Yeah. I think it's worth a million dollars. I'm completely okay with the fact that doesn't look anything like me.

But yeah. No, it does. It looks totally like you. That is your shirt. I'm okay with that. Juan will agree. That's his shirt. That's his shirt.

What? That's your shirt, Kane. That's your outfit. I don't want to break the news. Those are scribbles on paper. That's not scribbles. It's Renaissance. That's line.

Artistry of stinky sharpie on paper. That's what that is. It's your face. I got your nose. Your nose is there? Your eyebrows? Yeah, those aren't exaggerated either. They're not.

I can see them. So eyes and eyebrows or anything that includes eyes, I guess you have a problem with? No. I mean, did you want me to draw something with your eyes? I mean, you mean, you mean more accurate? Huh? Do you mean, do I want you to be more accurate with it? You know what?

Should I use the Christmas car that Greg happens to me? Greg Abbott sent us a Christmas card. We appreciate the governor for that. Yeah, he says very nice. They sent us a Christmas car. I don't know. I'm awkward. Can you tell?

Like, I was raised with y'all. I wasn't raised with them all. I'm like, and they sent us a Christmas card. I don't have any more paper. Otherwise, maybe it's something I can do. I don't know where to put this one. I mean, if you're comparing it to hunters finished. It's better than anything Glenn Beck could do.

I would say yours definitely hands down. This is better than Glenn Beck's work. here. Yeah. Look at that masterpiece. So how do we get the bidding started is what I'm wondering. I think we should start at a million dollars. You think the starting should be at a million.

I mean, I'm sure we're going to get tons of takers. Like right, right at the start. I didn't even spit on it. A million dollars. A million dollars. Who wouldn't want this Renaissance masterpiece of cane? Probably if you'd spit, it'd probably be worth a million maybe. Yeah.

I mean, you know what we should do? we should we should maybe gift it to one of the people that's in the YouTube chat as like you know because it's like a million dollars we're gifting to you

right here hand drawn on break by me brain cells were damaged by the sharpy scent of this image the scent is still lingering yeah it's like what do they put in this

I don't know this is wild like it's one marker and it felt we're all like dizzy it filled it the whole stew studio. It's a one marker. I like it a lot. I think the bidding

at a million might be a little much to start a bid, but I'm on board with it. This is a mass. Did you see my attention to detail in the background? Right. The crosshatch detail in the background. I didn't spit through a straw. That's true. See, the Biden's could easily, you know what, Democrats could easily prove to me right now that him getting a million dollars for a painting is due to his, I mean, it's not due to his name or anything else.

They could do that right now because this is better than his stuff. This has form and it looks like something. Absolutely. It's a label. And it has meaning because it says cane. It means cane. Up at the top. Clearly a sponsored message as well brought to you by. By big pro biotics. Who doesn't sponsor us? But I think secretly

they do cane. They should. But I mean, this, they could Democrat, a Democrat could give me a million dollars for this right now and that would take care of any suspicions I have. Yeah. That Democrats defending Hunter Biden's work that it wasn't just because they weren't a money laundering thing. So a million dollars it is, starting bid.

Now, you know, we could also, again, you know, I could gift it to somebody in the chat. I'm just saying, you know, we could gift it to somebody. It is the season. A million dollar donation, a million dollar Christmas gift right here. Tis the Christmas season. I mean, I'm just, it's just. It is, there's no way I can display this, but I'm going to set it right here on the thing. So there you go right there.

That's pure talent. I am actually impressed. I worked really, it took me, it took me an hour to shade your upper lip. Where have I heard that before? I didn't steal it. I didn't Biden it from Napoleon Dynamite at all. I didn't biden it from that at all, not at all. But for real, though, like, I mean, it's normal to draw pictures for your friends and have them give you millions of dollars.

for it, right? Is it, though? I'm not sure it is. Yeah. How it's, that's normal. That happens. You guys deal with that in your friendships, right? With the Bidens? No, I've even played monopoly with friends. And they haven't, they don't even hand over.

Yeah, I don't hand over. Because I won't have any. For stuff like that. That's banned it. We can't play monopoly in our house. It always ends with tears and threats of litigation. Never, it's never going to, uh-uh. And we play risk. It ends with usually I, because I will dominate in risk.

I will dominate. I will own souls. I haven't played risk since my teens. You know what else? You haven't played? What? Oh, no. Warhammer.

Okay. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So people with children live longer says a new study, but only if you have this many kids. Yeah. So the whole dink thing, the dinky dinks, double income, no, kids, they are dinks, who prefer changing time zones by traveling the world as opposed to changing diapers. Study from University of Michigan suggests that parenting actually can extend your life

expectancy to longer. And they said, however, you know, there is kind of a limit. You know, you can't have like having like more undercuts the benefits according to their survey. So they said that if you have, what, like two kids, that that seems to be a pretty good job. That's a pretty good deal. Two to three. I think you're all full of it. I don't care. Just do what makes you happy, right? As long as you take care of it, you don't go on. Don't permanently live on welfare.

All right, the nation's largest pharmacy chain, CVS, Kroger, and Rite Aid. Apparently, Washington Post has reported that they could hand prescription records to police and government investigators without a warrant, according to a congressional investigation. Information is the new oil. It is. Think about it. Good grief. Oh, this was in Missouri. It's at Panda. Which is this what we call Panda Express. A dude is accused of stabbing a Panda Express worker over food quality.

Dude, you're at a Panda. Why are you getting all mad? It was in Richmond Heights, Kane. A dude, yeah, Panda in Richmond Heights. Yeah, Kane overbough from St. Louis in case you're just tuning in. A dude's accused of stabbing this Panda Express employee. He punched another one in the face. in Missouri, Richmond Heights. It's about like what, northwest of St. Louis, downtown St. Louis, over the quality of his food.

The St. Louis County prosecuting attorney's office charged 33-year-old Philip Person, Mr. Person, with felony assault and weapons charges. And it was about 4 p.m. Wednesday of last week. The guy who works at the restaurant was legit stabbed in the back. He apparently got into an argument with employees over his food. And then he punched, oh, the chickie, the other person he punched in the head was a female. And they got him outside.

he stabbed the male employee. He was arrested and they took the knife into evidence. You're at a Panda Express, you know? Like what did, like, what are you upset about? Yeah. So, this woman was arrested

after running down a Montana airport runway. Helena police reported that they arrested a 42-year-old Tennessee woman who was acting erratic. They said it and emailed that they were called to the airport 6.30 in the morning Saturday. They had a deal with a woman who was trying to board a plane.

She ran down the runway, climbed a fence before police arrival. They did locate her. No further information was available. Kane adds that she must have eaten all of her gummies before she got to TSA. Are those those pot gummies? Seems logical to me. I mean, does that make you do that? Does it make you act nuts?

Just because you don't like it doesn't make it a conspiracy theory. You know what, hold on. I got to put my thing in my case. Because we got to talk about big tech for a moment. I can't, I can't, can they, can they, hold up. I'm going to put my socket on my computer. I can't put it on my, my head because it'll mess up my hair. We literally just did this.

We, we begged these people to send us stuff. So this, I'm not, we're, don't worry. I'm going to put my phone in my thing. Do me favor real quick. I can't call my phone real quick right now. I'm going to see something. Hold up. I want to show you guys because I want to do my red, because we got to talk about how big tech is censoring the hell out of us right now.

So just want to make sure. Just call my phone real quick. It'll ring at some point because I got to talk about big tech going at us. Why is it not ringing? I mean, it's supposed to be ringing all my stuff's up. Oh, there it is. Okay. So, all right, you're calling me.

I'm not taking your call, obviously. So I'm going to put it in the thing. And then you can try. You can try calling me. And we got to talk about big tech is slamming us so bad right now. I'm putting it in my, my Faraday Lab thing. So tell people where this pouch is from.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we are, it's actually Kane, who is crazy. I was wrapping his whole head in tinfoil, and we're like, you're going to die. Can you find something that's not going to hurt you? Right. And so he found that it's like they're called, it's called Faraday Labs.

This thing will not ring. Call my phone again. I haven't turned it all off. I haven't turned it off. I'm doing this because I want to talk smack. And I don't want them to get me. Let's see. Let's see what it does.

You're going to do it? Yeah, I'm calling it. It's not, well, it's not ringing. No, it's not ringing at all. This is crazy. It's literally not ringing. It's been forwarded to it. Yeah.

And then I have, I purposely leave my voicemail full because I hate messages. I hate all of it. Anyway, I'm just going to key this in here because, yeah. So anyway, so here's what's up. So we got, I got another little thing on Instagram. I got a whole bunch of more notes. notices on like a whole handful of notices on Facebook. This comes after YouTube took down two of my videos because they, two of the videos for the Dana show, because we had on Dr. Robert Malone,

we had on Dr. Tess Lori. Lori was only talking about Ivermectin as a method to treat symptoms. And she was talking very specifically about how it works to alleviate some of the symptoms that go along with having the rona. And some, you know, barista dropout button pusher at, uh, uh, thug tube, YouTube, mootube. They decided that they, they didn't like our video. The video was like this was posted over a year ago. So they started taking these videos down. And they told me yesterday, because I disputed it. And they're like, no, sorry. Uh, you know, you just didn't, they didn't actually tell me what in the video they thought was misinformation. They claimed that I was spreading

misinformation, which I think is an impugnation of my character. And they said that I was spreading misinformation. And I said, I had asked them, can you actually articulate what? And they couldn't, they wouldn't like, no, it's just, we just don't. We hate you. They didn't say it like that, but that's basically what it is. They couldn't actually say a single thing as to why. They couldn't point to a single thing anywhere. They couldn't actually articulate why any of it would be considered in any way misinformation. And so, so we got that. Then we get the notice, and I had this, and this was from, they didn't even show me

what, what this was. They didn't even show me what, what, this one video was. They were just, they told me that, let me pull this up, that, and I sent this to, Canaan. They showed that they had removed these posts on Facebook. They said it went against our rules, but then they didn't tell me what post it was, what video was,

or what rules it violated. They just said, no, it violates our community standards violation. That means I'm going to post more of it. Whatever it was. Was it, I don't know what it was. Was it somebody who was mad that I was saying that Palestine is a fictional country?

I don't know. Because it is. Fight me. I don't know. These people are, these fascists, this is so stupid. This is absolute. You know, but these are the same people that are like, no, no, no, if you sit here and glorify Hamas and you say from the river to the sea, that's okay. If you sit here and scream, kill the Jews on college campuses, that's okay. But heaven forbid, you point out that, you know, Ivermectin actually can help alleviate symptoms that go along with Rona.

Or that you point out that, you know, Palestine actually isn't a real country. It was completely made up. It's a fictional place. There's no Palestinian people that's not supported by 2,000 years of antiquity. And it was completely fabricated out of the ether by Hadrian after the second Judean uprising because he quelled that. And then he was like, yeah, I'm going to be a spiteful D-bag. So I'm going to name this Syria-Philistina after the Philistines who are Greek and they're all here like, whatever, like a, have a century before Arabs even got into the area. So just going to say, I don't know. Just history and fact. So I just feel like, you know, I'm going to have to wrap all our stuff because these people, now they're like Coleman.

They're like listening to everything now. Okay. Can I talk on a smack about it? Because it'll, I also don't like it if I talk about stuff. And it shows, um, ads. It shows ads. You know how I was talking about possum stuff? We showed me possum stuff yesterday.

Dude. For real. Dude. I bet I could put my phone on my sock hat too. I bet it would do the same thing. Thanks for tuning in to. today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.