The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Dana's Renaissance Artwork

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

The Dana Show wants to try to see if they can draw artwork similar to Hunter Biden and make millions. Meanwhile, Dana think bicyclists are obnoxious.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaChange the lives of Veterans and their families with the Boot Campaign with every purchase of the Ready-to-Drink Coffee!All Family Pharmacyhttps://allfamilypharma.com/danaSave 10% with code DANA10 when you order today at https://allfamilypharma.com/danaHeadrest Safehttps://theheadrestsafe.comUse code DANA for an exclusive $50 off. Hillsdalehttps://danaforhillsdale.comVisit Hillsdale College for a special Christmas viewing of O Little Town Of Bethlehem. KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news. Nimi Skincarehttps://nimiskincare.comDon’t compromise. Use promo code DANA for 10% your order.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet a free smartphone with code FRIDAY76 when you switch today! Wise Food Storagehttps://preparewithdana.comSave $50 on your 4-Week Survival Food Kit plus free shipping when you order today!

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by KELTEC. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. I think we all accidentally got high from the Sharpie

because I'm drawing cane right now since Hunter Biden can sell art for millions of dollars. I'm like, well, yeah, let's just prove that it's not total nepotism and money laundering. So I'm going to draw cane. It's brilliant so far.

All right, first up, a Florida man who exposed himself inside. This is a strong sharpie. A Florida man, so it's on brand, who exposed himself inside multiple Claremont stores says he was drugged. Was he drugged the last time he exposed himself in multiple stores? A Florida man is facing several charges. He exposed his junk in a Target, a pizzeria, all these different stores. Joshua Brown, 32, was arrested for indecent exposure. I don't understand his mugshot. He looks like, I don't get it. He is scared, confused?

Who looks like that in a mugshot? They arrived, officers arrived at 7 o'clock in the evening to find a man in Target, identified as Brown, showing off his bits and pieces in the business. Yeah, you can't be doing that anywhere like that, obviously. They reviewed surveillance footage and they showed him doing that and being gross. He's being gross. When they detained him, they found oxycodone and, I can't say this one.

Kwanazepam. Klaanazepam. Yeah. Pills. And then he was on probation for a prior conviction of exposing his junk back in December of 2017. And he kept saying that someone drugged him and made him do it. Yeah, no one did. You freak.

You did it yourself. What's the matter with you? What's going on with Panera? Now in St. Louis, Missouri, it's called St. Louis Bride Company. Outside of that, it's called Panera. Nobody knows that, apparently. But it's true. there's a now a second lawsuit i didn't even know there's a first one against panera bread a florida man says

that he kicked the bucket from the caffeinated charged lemonade they said that it was a charged lemonade and the guy went to cardiac arrest the guy said he was drinking lemonade for six days and was a member of their sip club where you order unlimited drinks the charged lemonade has 390 milligrams of caffeine that's near the 400 milligram daily maximum intake did they make this guy drink this lemonade this many times a day for six days? Why is it their fault then? You absolute fruque. Don't drink the charged lemonade then. Good heavens. This is so dumb. They said that they find it to be without merit, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, you can't be doing that kindness. This is like, oh, I drink hot coffee and burn my mouth. I'm going to sue because the coffee's hot. This is so goofy.

Let's see. A Florida woman set her tender date on fire over $60, say police. This was in Miami. The woman that this guy met set him on fire 25 years old. Gotta be careful with these checks, man. He wanted the $60. She wanted the $60 he had on him, and he said no. So she set him on fire. Stay with us. Our partners over at Hillsdale College, this is the type of academics that are needed, what Hillsdale College provides. is one of, it's an actual learning institution. And if you're unfamiliar, it is, it's a beautiful, small Christian classical liberal arts college in Southern Michigan. And they're all about the pursuit of truth and defense of liberty. They foster open, honest, academic debate. They teach critical thinking and they encourage it, not critical race theory. And they also want to

thank everybody for their kindness towards the college for this past year. This Christmas season, they have a special video that features their sacred music choir. performances from their choir and it's sung in their beautiful Christchapel at the heart of campus and you can access it and watch it only at Dana4, F-O-R-Hillsdale.com. And it's just a thank you from them to you for supporting them because they understand that education is paramount to freedom. And that's what they were founded to offer, the kind of education that is needed to preserve the rights that we enjoy today. And they're still holding true to that mission after they're founding in 1844. So please visit Dana-4, F-O-R-R-R-A-R.

Hillsdale.com. You can see in here, the sacred music choir, singing a little town of Bethlehem. And you can see a ton of other free resources they have to help celebrate the season too. And I assure you, you'll be left with, left inspired. That's Dana 4, F-O-R-Hillsdale.com. For the last hour on break, I was made myself sick high on a Sharpie, basically. These things are powerful. Whenever I have a, whenever I have books come out and I go through almost a half a box of these things, and I sign. I have to sign books at a book event. I mean, after a while, those fumes kitchen, you got, but not in a good way. I mean, you're just, ooh.

So I was wondering, because, you know, I'm so artistic. And I thought, well, but I could draw a picture of cane. I mean, what's the difference between us and Hunter Biden? You know what I mean? I mean, besides straws and crack. Well, yeah. Well, he's a boy and he's a male and also on lots, on the drugs and gross, hookers. Infant baby son, yeah.

He's probably the only old dude that is so, like, they try to act like he's younger than us. And then, of course, don't forget, he's the president's son, merches out the elected office, all those good things. So I drew a picture. I've not shown this to Kane. I was like, why bet I could draw a picture of Kane? Yeah, I was getting excited about it. Because I feel like I'm at like six flags or some sort of theme park where you pay the person

to kind of sketch you, you know, you sit there at the bench. Well, don't get your hopes up. Okay. I'm just saying, you know, although I'm super artistic. If you believe that, you'll believe anything. Oh, no. There's certain things I can do. Drawing.

Well, I can, let's just say I can master anything. This is a Renaissance masterpiece. Really, it's a masterpiece. So I did this. I, in my defense, just to say, just to add the perspective. No, perspective. You're in the dark over there. True.

So it was hard to get your visage. Got my what? Your visage. Got it. So I drew a picture of you. I think the likeness is amazing. That looks just like you. That's actually not accurate at all.

No, it looks just like you. We got, for the people watching the simulcast, he's always in like a hoodie of some sort. I can't really do shoulders or arms that well. It's still a renaissance masterpiece. He's got headphones on. Right. His eyes, I can't draw eyes totally great, but, you know, it's still a renaissance masterpiece. piece. The facial hair was a little tricky.

Yeah. So I just put it all there where the facial hair is supposed to go, the lower face portion. Right? Could have been worse. He's got the, he's got the headphones, his cans that he wears for radio. It's over his hair. He's got the core. Look at the cord I did. I did a cord for those not able to look. Attention to detail. I know. The attention to DJ. I got the buttons on your shirt. I got the cord that goes, I mean, it looks literally just like you. Hold on. What is that, what are those words at the bottom. What is it? Read it for the audience that's listening at home.

Brought to you by probiotics. It, I think that this is probably worth a million dollars. I'd say it's more than that. I mean, I might be a little biased. Yeah. I think it's worth a million dollars. I'm completely okay with the fact that it doesn't look anything like me.

But yeah. No, it does. It looks totally like you. That is your shirt. I'm okay with that. Juan will agree. That's his shirt. That's his shirt.

What? That's your shirt, King. That's your outfit. I don't want to break the news, see, but those are scribbles on paper. That's not scribbles. It's Renaissance. That's lines. Of stinky sharpie on paper.

That's what that is. And it's your face. I got your nose. Your nose is there, your eyebrows? Yeah, those aren't exaggerated either. They're not. I can see them. So eyes and eyebrows.

Anything that includes eyes, I guess you have a problem with? No. I mean, did you want me to draw something with your eyes? I mean, you mean, more accurate? Huh? Do you mean, do I want you to be more accurate with it? You know what? Should I use the Christmas car that Greg Abbott's for me?

Greg Abbott sent us a Christmas car. We appreciate the governor for that. Yeah, he says, very nice. They sent us a Christmas car. I don't know. I'm awkward. Can you tell? Like, I was raised with y'all.

I wasn't raised with them all. I'm like, and they sent us a Christmas card. I don't have any more paper. Otherwise, maybe it's something I can do. I think it's great. I mean, if you're comparing it to hunters finished. It's better than anything Glenn Beck could do. I would say yours definitely hands down.

This is better than Glenn Beck's work right here. Yeah. Look at that masterpiece. So how do we get the bidding started is what I'm wondering. I think we should start at a million dollars. You think the starting should be at a million. I mean, I'm sure we're going to get tons of takers. Like right, right at the start.

I didn't even spit on it. A million dollars. A million dollars. Who wouldn't want this renaissance man? masterpiece of cane. Probably if you'd spit, it'd probably be worth a million maybe. Yeah. I mean, you know what we should do?

We should maybe gift it to one of the people that's in the YouTube chat. Ooh. As like, you know, because it's like a million dollars. It is. We're gifting to you right here. That's true. Hand drawn on break by me. Brain cells were damaged by the

Sharpie scent of this image. The scent is still lingering. Yeah, it's pretty. It's like What are they put in this? I don't know. This is wild. Like, it's one marker. And it felt, we're all like dizzy.

It filled up the whole studio. It's one marker. But, uh, I like it a lot. I think the bidding at a million might be a little much to start a bid, but I'm on board with it. This is a mass. Did you see my attention to detail in the background? Right. The cross hatch detail in the background.

I didn't spit through a straw. That's true. See, the Biden's could easily, you know what, Democrats could easily. easily proved to me right now that him getting a million dollars for a painting is due to his, I mean, it's not due to his name or anything else. They could do that right now because this is better than his stuff. This has form and it looks like something. Absolutely.

And it has meaning because it says cane. It means cane up at the top. Clearly a sponsored message as well brought to you by. By big pro biotic. Who doesn't sponsor us? But I think secretly they do cane. They should. But, I mean, this, they could, a Democrat could give me a million dollars for this right now,

and that would take care of any suspicions I have. Yeah. That Democrats defending Hunter Biden's work that it wasn't just because they weren't a money laundering thing. So a million dollars it is, starting bid. Now, you know, we could also, again, you know, I could gift it to somebody in the chat. I'm just saying, you know, we could gift it to somebody. It is. It is.

It's like a million dollar donation. million dollar Christmas gift right here. Tis the Christmas season. I mean, I'm just, it's just, it is, there's no way I can display this, but I'm going to set it right here on the thing. So there you go right there. That's pure talent. I am actually impressed. I worked real, it took me, it took me an hour to shade your upper lip. I'm, where have I heard that before? I didn't steal it. I didn't Biden it from Napoleon Dynamite at all. I didn't biden it from that at all, not at all. But for real, Like, I mean, it's normal to draw pictures for your friends and have them give you millions of dollars for it, right? Is it?

Is it, though? I'm not sure it is. Yeah. How? It's normal. That happens. You guys deal with that in your friendships, right? With the Bidens.

No. I've even played monopoly with friends. And they haven't, they don't even hand over. Yeah, I don't hand over. Because I won't have any. For stuff like that. That's bandit. We can't play monopoly in our house.

It always ends with tears and threats. of litigation. Never. It's never going to. And we play risk and it ends with usually I, because I will dominate in risk. I will dominate. I will own souls. Teens. I haven't played risk since I was in my teens. You know what else? You haven't played?

What? Warhammer. Okay. Our partners over at Keltec, the sub 2K, great firearm, great company, incredibly innovative with the stuff that they make based right in Florida. So this is for all of the hikers and the backpackers and the campers and, you know, all of that out there because for a couple of decades now, the folds in half, Keltex sub two K carbine, this has been filling that pistol caliber carbine gap because with options for several popular

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Dana sent you. And now. All of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. All right. So, Australia's first ever moon rover to be named Roover. After a public competition received more than 8,000 submissions. That's like when they were trying to name that boat in Britain,

Boating McBoat face. 8,000, and they named it Roover, Roover. They named the damn thing Roover The other names that didn't make it were Skippy, Wombat, Walkabout Oh, Rover McRover face Of course

They said, why Roover? They don't actually, they just Oh my gosh Kangaroo Roo. Yeah, but that seems Very Australian It doesn't hop

I don't know I just don't Maybe it's a pouch Okay, well then I'd accept it for that Doesn't have a pouch? Okay. A Thousandas ditched the sleigh in favor of bikes in downtown Milwaukee. That sounds annoying.

That's horrible in favor of bikes. They made their bikes look like sleighs. I don't know. I like that they do it. It's fun, but it's the Santa cycle. Okay. I have a video where audio will play coming up that it's why people have the opinion that they do. Let's see.

A disciplinary counsel seeks suspension of an eerie lawyer who said that cocaine enhances his work. Is this Hunter Biden? I'm curious. Like it has to, they have to be. Also, let's see, NASA's James Webb captures a real monster face in deep space. It's a newly discovered galaxy spewing out of the stars. I think it's a warning. It is legit a warning.

It is creepy as all get out looking. Actually, it's this cool. all get out looking. It looks like a ghostly skull. Super cool. Also, let's see. Tire-slashing spree solved as Italian police arrest. This is a weird story. This is from the Guardian. They arrested this guy. It's like a mafia style intimidation. And they, it's the way that they have, the Guardian wrote this story. I want to find the person who wrote it and I want to beat them to death the street because they were so obsessed with being trying to write like alliterations that they couldn't write the story uh basically this guy went around slashing tires uh and they took them like

weeks apparently to figure out who was slashing tires that's what a sting is for you sit outside and then you arrest them it's very easy. Every dog just sit on the bike lane. A great parking spot great job man that's a nice bike you got there Sidewalk is on your left. Exactly. Let's cross without looking and blame the cyclist. Man, that's a nice bike you got there. It's a great place to walk.

That's a nice bike you got there. It's going to walk right here. Take your time. That was him. He didn't slow down for a crossball. If you're going to act like you're a car and you're going to ride your bike in the street, then you have to obey the rules of the road. like a car does and that means you have to stop for people in crosswalks. He got mad at this chick,

a couple of people, because they were in a crosswalk. Welcome back to the program. Dana, last year with you. We're concluding this third hour of our broadcast. I saw this video yesterday. I don't dislike. Like, I know people. I have friends who ride cyclists. They ride bicycles. I don't know how to say it. I have friends who enjoy doing that as like a hobby. But the way they do it and the way that I see like a lot of these people in videos and some of my experiences with other people. Like my friends understand they're in a bicycle and if they're going to ride with the cars, they obey rules of traffic. I cannot tell you. So like in Texas, you got to stop when you make a ride on red, right? This was maybe three weeks ago. I was at a stoplight. I was two cars back from the person. Actually, there was a car in between us, the car that was

getting ready to go. And they had stopped. There was a, I saw the bicycle is coming up on the right. and the car stopped. There was nobody coming. He stopped as he was supposed to, and he was going to make a right turn on the red, right? This bicyclist, because there were people, it was the light for the people who could turn, they could go so the people who were in the left turn lane,

they could turn left, and the people opposite you could turn right. There was nobody opposite us to turn right, so it was clear. This bicyclist, I watched this dude, literally all in his, like, pro-bicycle, bicycle gear, he blew through that red light and was bicycle and just cycling across in the crosswalk as this guy is turning. And then he honked his little bicorn and flipped the guy off. And I'm like,

that guy had right of what, if you're going to, and the bicyclist was not on the sidewalk. He was with the cars because it was like pretty traffic. I was, I had something to do and it was in rush hour. And he, if you're going to be in the road like that, you have to observe. of the rules of the road. And thankfully, you know, this guy turning, he was, you know, he was in a truck. He was slow. And he, you know, tapped his brakes. But the bicyclist acted like he just, I cannot tell you how many times they've seen this. I saw a bicyclist almost murder themselves in a roundabout because they did not know how to buy. They did not know how to do a roundabout. Every interaction I've had with them in the road has been, they've almost gotten themselves

killed or they've almost killed somebody. Now, my friends aren't like that. Of course, they've been doing this like forever though like I they've they've been cyclists forever and they love doing it like they just it's scenic and they enjoy it but man I'm telling you that's why people don't like bicyclists is that right there they're all leftists the smart ones

I think are honestly conservatives and I think the ones that are bad are leftists I really do think that all right today's stupidity cane all right this is going to have to be it's going to have to be Biden I'm going to actually you know what we're going to hold up my masterpiece we're going to do AOC if you don't mind

And AOC, this is cut 171, if you don't mind playing this. This is, imagine saying this and not recognizing the irony and all of it. Listen, listen to what AOC says. We're here because there's a proposal here, and there are several proposals here, to further marginalize trans women in sports. And I think about this all the time because trans people in the United States doesn't even exceed 1% of our population. And yet there is so many resources and energy in time. dedicated to figuring out how we can more finally exclude them from our sports. And I thought, why, why?

Why so much effort and dedication on such a tiny portion of U.S. population? A violation of privacy? That's really not what that is. But what about the privacy of the girls who want to change in the locker rooms? That boy's being in there. Yeah. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already,

Make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.