The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: ECLIPSEMANIA 2024

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

Dana breaks down Eclipse-Mania from their Dallas compound and reports live from full totality. Meanwhile, a female United Airlines Pilot makes a scene in front of the passengers because she is a woman flying an airplane.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Goldcohttps://danalikesgold.comGet your free Gold Kit from GoldCo today.Hillsdale Collegehttps://danaforhillsdale.comVisit today to hear a Constitution Minute and sign up for Hillsdales FREE Imprimis publication.KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet free activation with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.Zbioticshttps://zbiotics.com/radioGet 15% off your first order when you use code RADIO at checkout.  

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. So I got a million questions about this headline, because this is a very convoluted headline. It says Florida Man exposes himself

while woman was exercising in wildlife preserve. There's a lot of stuff happening here. So you got a lady in a wildlife preserve and a dude who goes all out, let's just put it like that. The incident took place at a preserved partner near Fort Pierce. The sheriff said the witness detained the suspect

until deputies arrived and he was captured on video exposing himself in front of a woman doing yoga. And that's the suspect was taken into custody. He's since been released. Why do they have to just say it was in a wildlife preserve?

And you're doing yoga in a Do you specifically go to the wildlife preserve to do the yoga? Like that's like a very specific and bogey sounding. Just saying. I don't, I didn't expect a sight of boogey with my Florida man headline today. But okay. So yeah, there you go. This, a couple of others.

A Florida man, this one, can you help? This, oh gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh, no. A Florida woman tries to sell a toddler. This is horrible. Putnam County woman was arrested two days later. She tried to sell her 18-month-old. And when the, when the, she was trying to sell it to this employee of this business. And when the employee said, no, you're nuts. 33-year-old Jessica Woods just walked away and left the kid. She was charged with six felonies, child neglect, child abuse, aggravated child abuse, selling a minor for money and abandoning a child also. It was at an H&R block. She was trying to sell the kid at an H&R block. That's horrific. And I feel like maybe she shouldn't have that baby now. That's terrifying. And a woman literally named Karen decided to have a huge tantrum in the middle of the road in Coconut Creek.

I'll save this one free tomorrow because it is a doozy. Eclipse mania is coming up. Stick with us. As we move, our partners over at Keltec. Don't go out and shoot the sun. Keltek, sub 2K, shipping now, the Gen 3 version. The Gen 3 version of the Sub 2K, this is an awesome Florida-based company. Keltuk is incredibly innovative.

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Tell them the Dana sent you. This is Total Eclipse of the Sunwatch, 2017, on Fox News Channel. The excitement must be building and building like fireworks. If I put this here and my phone here, I have a total eclipse of the phone. Fascinating. It's amazing. Oh, my God, the moon has gotten in front of the... Okay, well, I don't know.

It's interesting looking. The sun looks a little like the moon up there in my wall. If you mention it, you got to sing it. where the deer and the anselo play. Wow! Would you look at that? It's a total eclipse of the sun. They know this is all it's going to be, right?

Shepard Smith is me right now. The sun's coming back now. The sun's coming out now. Oh, my goodness. That didn't last long. I'm standing out here. I'm standing out here, and I'm looking at it. So it's real dark.

It's Dana Lash here. Welcome back to the program. Everybody, we're at the bottom of the third hour. So I'm standing out here. It's dark. The birds are kind of going nutty. I mean, my first question to Kane was, when can I go back in? Because it just seems like, I don't know.

Like, it's just, I mean, I'm out here looking at it. You do have your protective eye. You have your protective eyewear, correct? Yeah, yes. I mean, because I, you know, I'm wearing it just because I can't see it otherwise. Because the cloud cover makes it. The people watching on DirecTV through the first, on the left side, they're seeing your phone looking directly at the sun, right, at the eclipse. I can try to put my, what I'm going to, I can try to put my camera, my actual, like, my little goofy glasses in front of it.

Yeah, they don't see how that works. If that's see, let's see if. Kind of does. So it doesn't do anything. It kind of does. It kind of does. Yeah, keep it that way. That's fun.

That works. I mean, it's, you can kind of see like a sliver. We don't have a full. Yeah, it's like 95%. Yeah. Go ahead and put the. There you go. There's the filter. So, yeah, we're putting the glasses.

We've got the glasses over it. You can tell there's like 90% coverage right now. So we're literally almost there to total eclipse. So you're wanting me to stay out here until we get full totality. Is that the deal? Right. I don't want you looking directly. Is that how we're doing it for the people?

I don't want you looking at it. I'm doing this for the people. You are. You'd sacrifice a lot for the people. Yes. I'm doing this for all of our, yeah, I'm like, I'm going out here and I'm sacrificing all of this for people. Do not look directly at it.

But I just wanted to see, like, they were showing on television, it went over, was it Eagle Pass, Texas one, where it was like nighttime, literal nighttime. So what you're showing, there's still some light there. It looks like partial daytime, like dusk maybe to you right now? It looks like a weird dusk. But what's creepy is the birds won't shut up. They're like, they're going nuts. The birds are like, I don't know if it has to do with this or what, but they're a freaking out. imagine if we catch because everything else is normal apparently NASA is launching some sounding rockets into the moon's shadow during this eclipse right now I wonder if we can oh I'm sure that's going to work out well yeah that seems like exactly what you would do like the kickoff the apocalypse I think the CERN but this is collider also what it is online today as well wanting to collide I think these are starlings that I'm seeing yeah I'm more interested in the animal's activity but the light is

weird. The lights like, imagine you walk outside and there's a weird Instagram filter. Right. On everything outside. I'm in, I'm living in an Instagram filter right now. That is a good way to describe it. And it's weird and I don't like it. It's, yeah, the birds are all flying in circles and we're in an Instagram filter.

And I think they're starlings. I think those are starlings. Like they come out at dusk and I think that they're like, what is happening? So apparently right now, this is, it's going on 139 Central, right? 139 central time. At 140, at 140 is when Texas, or at least this part of where we are, Texas is supposed to experience the total eclipse. In other words, total darkness.

That's the part I wanted you to say for, is just to be there just so it gets completely dark. And then once it gets completely dark. Yeah, it's supposed to be. Okay. So we almost have, we have a little sliver of the sun left. I will say the temperature, it's gotten a lot. cooler up here. Like this is kind of a warmer spring day in Texas.

It's, you know, it's like what, 80, maybe 81 degrees. It's dropped by two degrees already. It's dropped two degrees in just like the span of, you know, less than probably 10 minutes. So we're in the cloud cover, the clouds have kind of cleared. So we actually do all the people who got the Airbnb and Bs. They're getting their money's worth. Right. So we're probably what, 30 maybe a minute out, maybe a full totality?

I'm questioning this time on this. No, it's so really close. Now, they're saying in the Fort Worth, Dallas Fort Worth area. I got to be real with you. You don't like you. I really want to adjust the contrast settings on reality right now. It's messed up. I don't like this.

I want to adjust the settings. My first thought was, how can I make this brighter? Yeah. I feel like I'm like. The sky looks really great. There's ripples on the ground everywhere. Ripples. I don't know.

This is the weirdest thing ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's real weird. I'm going to try taking video. like with a separate phone, another person's phone. I'm going to try and taking, you can see like shadow ripples on the concrete. Oh, is it the actual eclipse, the light of the eclipse coming through looking weird? Oh, we almost have full totality now.

Is it happening? I don't like this. Juan was right to be suspicious. Juan, can I come in with you? This is creepy. I don't like it no more. I don't like this. The birds are yelling again.

This is weird and I don't like it. I'm just not even going to lie. We need to see that total eclipse. We need to see that total eclipse. That like maybe 10% left almost. It's actually dark out here. It's getting dark. Yeah.

We've got 1%. See, it's getting. And now I don't even need my glasses. And I saw, I just saw, I see stars. Yeah. I'm looking at the one. Here goes. This is,

this is now it's in total. This is weird. I'm not using my, I'm not using my safety glasses government. I'm not using them anymore. So, so we're looking at the total full. Eclipse now.

I think there it is. I think that's it. And we have full totality, full totality. And I see a star, I think, or a satellite or aliens. I don't know. One of them. It's dark out. It's like really weird.

This is so creepy and I don't like it. Now how long is this going to last? I see a plane. Okay, there's a plane for, of course, those people who book that flight. They're both smart. I don't know how long it'll last. Do you see any falling stars? And it's weird because when I use, you know, my glasses that are blackout until I look

at the sun, they don't, I can't even use my glasses right now. They don't even see it. The glasses don't even see it right now. Oh, wow. So when you're in full totality and you have the- There's some blinky things flying around up there. What is that? I think one of them is like maybe a, I don't know if one's like a drone or there's a jet

up there as well. I don't know. It's so weird. I see like a little like smoke trail going upwards towards the eclipse. Like, I don't know. It seems weird. Yeah, that's a jet. Yeah, that's a jet.

Oh, that's a jet. And then I feel like there's, I think that, I think one of those is a drone. And then I think the other actually legit may be a star. I'm not actually sure. It is so creepy. It could be a planet. I hear that there are some planets visible, more visible now during the eclipse than obviously normally would be. So it looks like outside right now.

It looks like what you would see right after the sunset. Oh, my gosh. We just peeked out the studio door. Holy smokes, it's super dark out there. Now, I got a question, you guys staying in the safety and security of the studio and sending me the host outside to get alien down into the sky. So we're in full hotel. I can see how maybe, you know, if you're, you know, this is like in the days of building of pyramids and the ziggar rocks and everything else. Yeah, like you'd probably go nuts if this happened in the middle of the day.

You'd probably be like, we've got to start sacrificing some people because this is creepy and crazy. Like, legit, you would need your headlights out here right now. Yeah, and the winds totally stopped. All the birds got real quiet. They were going nuts. And then they got real quiet. Yeah, the birds like, what? So it's night now?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they, yeah, they, that's just wild. So now we have. I still keep using my glasses. Now we're moving out of total. Yeah. So now we've, now we just went through totality. So now, oh my gosh, this, okay, so this is what's weird.

The light, it's like someone's gradually turning up the screen right now. Yeah, it's a dimmer. This is so crazy. And look at the shadows it's creating. How quickly. Look at the shadows it's creating. Yeah, it is so crazy how this, it, I mean, we were, I mean, you guys can see this on my phone. You guys can see this.

It was dark and now it's, I still creeped out. Put that up one against the NASA, the feed. so that we can see the NASA feed too. Our feeds way much more scientific. Our feed's way more scientific. Oh, no doubt. Okay. So we just went through totality.

It's bright again. I think I'm good now. I want to be creepy part. Can I come back into where the safety is? Yes, come back into the safety of indoors as we watch the live feed here from NASA. The total solar eclipse has just moved over Texas. I'm going to make my way inside. Yeah, you do that.

Matter of fact, you want to disconnect from Skype? It's creepy. Yeah, I'm going to disconnect and I'm going to come back in. Okay. I'm going to come back in. But yeah, here it is. The live feed from NASA is showing totality. Now, this, was that Curville, Texas that NASA was showing?

Now it's Dallas, Texas, that they're showing. And you see on the screen the totality of the eclipse, I cannot believe how dark it was outside. So Dana's walking in right now. It was literally nighttime. It looked like nighttime. And you'll have to unmute your mic too, by the way, when you go to sit down.

Oh, I'm in. This is creepy. It was, can I, I still, like, is it, was it worth everybody freaking out over? I don't know. I mean, is that I just. I don't know if anybody, I mean, there's definitely some people that freaked out about it. I would not get an Airbnb for this.

I don't know. I don't know. Okay, so is it also like the height of self-indulgent humanity for me to be like, eight, ten would kind of recommend? I don't know. Is it? I mean, the thing that was weird, the weirdest to me was how quickly it happened. Because it got real dark.

And the birds, the birds watching those, because I'm positive, those are starlings. And aren't they, like, really active at, like, dusk? So they were going nuts. And that was, that's the only, I don't know. It was, so you had asked me earlier, and Larry brings this up, do, what happens now? Because, you know, like with that rat that comes out of the ground, if he sees his shadow. Right. So we didn't see our shadow.

So does that mean apocalypse? Like, what does that mean? Six more weeks of spring? I don't know. What does that mean? I don't know. Six more weeks of government here. But it was, I can see how, like I said, people back in, you know, the way olden days, you know, BC, I can see how part.

probably they'd freak out if that happened in the middle of the day. Yeah. If I'm eating the rabbit I just killed. Yeah. And then all of a sudden it gets dark and you're like that. I'll be like, what did I do wrong? I get it. God doesn't want me eating this rabbit, I guess.

I'm not to eat this rabbit. All right, Lord, not eating the rabbit. I get it. Yesterday it was so good. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's just, yeah, it is, it is, it is, it was weird. All right. So eclipse mania, we just had full totality in Texas.

And, yeah, yeah, got dark. and now it's not dark anymore. Now it's bright as the day is long again. Now our friends of Missouri are going to be seeing it soon. I can also see why car accidents would go up at that point because it does like the contract, it does get like fuzzy and hazy. And because it's like a weird diffused light, it's not like the light goes away. It's a diffused light, which is weird.

And I guess if you have like vision issues already, I don't know. So everybody would be safe out there anyway. But yeah, I can't believe people book flights for that. hundreds of dollars, probably more than that. I bet they jacked up the prices. I bet the airlines, I bet they cost like double because the airlines thought, oh my gosh, people are going to book it during the eclipse. We can overcharge them.

Social media for right now are those videos from airplanes? You all better have excellent footage. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So is the solar eclipse going to disrupt your cell service? No, you're just going to talk backwards and it sound like a devil. That's all. That's all it is.

I don't even want to say it's a joke. I'm just in the very sardonic mood. I love how this article starts. As darkness envelops millions of people during Monday's total solar eclipse. I know, right? Drama. They just want to know if their cell phones are going to work. I can't wait for the flood of blurry photos to be on Instagram.

So is my cell service going to work? I can post it up on Instagram. You better be using Patriot Mobile, by the way. Otherwise, you just support the devil. I don't know what else to tell you. Let's see here. Parts of New York State, they're apparently not going to see the total eclipse anymore. If you're in Hudson Valley, nature decided to do a takes-sease back-sees for you,

and you're not going to get to see it anymore. Yeah, they updated all the times for that. So, bummer. Let's see. If you forgot to get solar eclipse glasses, you can literally put a colander on your head. Apparently, that's what somebody's suggesting. I don't really think these glasses work. I don't know. I just think it's all goofy. Here's the idea. When it looks dark out, sneak a peek. And then when the sun comes back out, don't look at it. That's real simple.

Do you have to spend $5 on glasses? I hear that the most dangerous part is that little bit leading up to the total eclipse, but the actual total eclipse you can look right. The corona around it, not the beer. The corona around it, you can, it's, you're not going to fry your eyes out. But if you have the wrong glasses on and you're staring at it, you realize you're cooking your eye. You're making an eyeball souffle. Maybe don't do that. So, just, you know, when it looks dark,

sneak a peek. You don't have to stare at it forever. You know, just sneak a peek. I'm just saying if you don't have the glasses. Let's see here. Forecasts for cloudy skies. Cast a shadow over North American solar eclipse times. Apparently all the, yeah, you apparently got to either fly above the clouds or get a drone.

I don't care. And Morgan, Waylon was arrested. That's nothing to do with the eclipse. You're like, why is Morgan Wayland in this? This is because how it is, how we structured it today. He apparently threw a chair at the chiefs bar last night, and he's got three counts of reckless endangerment and one counter-disorderly conduct. I thought this was America officer. They said that the chair landed, the police that the chair landed just three feet away from him. So he bonded out at 15,000. So he was under arrest. Like Sands through the hourglass, so are the days of the United States.

If you don't feel safe, get off the airplane. This is your captain speaking, but never like this. I'll stop and I will fly the airplane. Don't worry, I'm going to let my co-pilot fly it. He's a man. It's a total meltdown. The pilot boarded in her street clothes and addressed the passengers over the intercom. Passenger Pam O'Neill couldn't believe what was happening.

She said, let's take a vote. How many of you would like to take off now with me dressed as I am? or would you prefer that I take 10 minutes to get changed into my cute little uniform? Then she started talking about her divorce and political candidates. In the minute she mentioned that, a gentleman stood up and just yelled, whoa, enough. You're scaring me. Another passenger, Randy Reese, got up to leave and gave a running commentary on social media. Pilot also insulted a couple on board.

Did I offend you? Okay, so did I purposely offend you? I did. Oh, my gosh. The answer is yes. Flight of tennis, please disson. some doors. After 20 passengers insisted on getting off the United

Airlines flight, the pilot quietly left the aircraft. Okay, if you don't feel safe, get off the airplane. Yeah, I hope she's fired, and she has her license revoked permanently. I don't ever think that she should ever fly a plane again. That's United. That is

insane. I would have gotten off the plane. Yeah. I maybe would have withheld the urge to punch her in the face, but I would have gotten off the flight. There's no way in hell I don't let that woman fly me. That's insane. You've never seen a man pilot do that. Just saying, be like, woman, you need a whole bottle of my doll.

Chill. I haven't even seen other female pilots do that. True. I never see. I can't, that's insane. That is insane. What is wrong with people? Like the sense of entitlement, your cute little uniform.

There's standards for a reason, sweetheart. Get off the plane. Oh, I would have been the moment she would have opened her mouth. I would have been up and out. No way, no way. I wouldn't have flown with her on the plane either. She would have had to literally be off the aircraft. No way.

No way. That's crazy. Some of us have issues enough with being in a little metal tube in the sky with people. You know, without that on top of it. But she felt like she was inoculated from any kind of criticism or accountability because she's a chick. A lot of women on the left feel like that. They think that they're inoculated from any kind of criticism or accountability for their actions because they're not just a woman, but they're a woman on the left. Because, you know, if you're a woman and you are independent or rightward leaning or on the right, that negates your vagina.

I don't know if you realize that, but it cancels that out. You are genderless after that. That's the thing that the left does, bippity boppity boo. but the idea, I mean, that she got up there and just thought that that was perfectly acceptable. That's insane. And I don't like her hat. I didn't like her hat either. I just didn't like anything about her at all.

Immediately. She didn't have to say nothing. And I'm like, mm-hmm, Karen. Okay, Cynthia. Mm-hmm. That's it. Would you have flown on, you'd have gotten up too, wouldn't you? I would have said something snarky.

Well, yeah, but you, but if, but you would not have. Definitely got out after saying the snarky thing. Or I would have said the snarky thing while walking out, one of the two. I probably would have stood up and said something snarky. Yeah. And then. Like, wow, and all the sandwiches get made already? Yeah.

What happened? The sandwiches get made? What in the world? Like this, she just, what's wrong with her? Oh, that's so horrible. You know, I have my co-pilot a man. She sounded bitter and resent. She sounded resentful, bitter, and hateful.

She was mad. Like, was she mad? because she had a co-pilot with a dude. Notice the dude pilot didn't say nothing. He wouldn't even out there. He was like probably busy doing, you know, all of the pre-flight stuff that they got to do. Don't they have like a whole checklist of stuff they got to do?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Things to do to keep people alive. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like how to keep people alive when we're in the air. I mean, he's running through that whole checklist. And meanwhile, Cynthia's out there. Rababababababababab.

Rabble, robble, robble. Like, giving, and then she's talking about our divorce and everything else. Is that what the passenger said? And when she got to political candidate, too? No. Look, there's certain professions where you take a back seat. Be humble enough. Be humble enough and have a servant's heart and take a back seat. The world isn't owed your political opinions. They're not owed your hot takes. If you're a doctor and you're in somebody's guts, you know, wrist deep, shut up about your politics. Nobody cares. Be a doctor. We need those people more than we

need people running their mouths off about politics. I'm just saying, we got enough of us. All right. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.