The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Elderly Man With A Poor Memory

Episode Date: February 9, 2024

Biden gives an impromptu speech after the Special Counsel says Biden is “an elderly man with a poor memory”. Meanwhile, a couple is in a civil court battle over a trans woman named, “Dee”, and her refrigerated nuts.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaJoin the Coffee Club today and get 30% off your first month’s subscription.Goldcohttps://danalikesgold.comGet your free Gold Kit from GoldCo today.Hillsdale Collegehttps://danaforhillsdale.comVisit today to hear a Constitution Minute and reserve your free pocket copy of the Constitution.KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet free activation with code Dana.Wise Food Storagehttps://preparewithdana.comSave $50 on your 4-Week Survival Food Kit plus free shipping when you order today!

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Hmm, hmm, okay, so a Florida man has racked up

over $31,000 in charges on his company card, purchasing scratch-off tickets. Like, of all the things that you're going to do, you're going to, I mean, I'm not, you shouldn't steal a company card in the first place, but I'm just going to say if you're going to take your company card and then you're going to go for scratch-off tickets, that's in $31,000 of them.

But that's what Warren Johnson did, Clearwater, Florida man. He was arrested $31,000 worth of scratch-off lottery tickets on the company credit card. You know he's going to get caught. Pinellas County Sheriff's Office show that he was charged with conducting a scheme to defraud between 20 and 50,000. And they said that he's a truck driver and an affidavit found that the owner of the company discovered that one of their credit cards had pretty had a lot of money on it worth fraudulent charges going all the way back to September. So apparently he was doing this for half a year before he was caught. That's a lot. That's a lot. And I think maybe they need to run better books, too. I'm just going to say.

All right. So this Florida man, if you're going to steal a plane, you better know how to fly it. L.A. Times says a Florida man stole a plane. in California crash landed it on a nearby beach and just walked off. Well, he crashed landed it, but it didn't like break up the planet just while Juan's got the photo. Literally the nose was right in the sand. He stole a plane in Palo Alto and then put it down on a beach in Half Moon Bay. And the 50-year-old Miami native, Luis Arez, is accused of committing grand theft arrow at about 5 p.m. He took to the skies touchdown 25 miles away.

And apparently, well, when he was... one of the officers says, I've been doing this for a long time and this is a first to have someone who, I mean, I don't know, did he think he was playing Grand Theft Auto like in person or like with a plane like in person? I don't know. Let's see. This is CBS 12. A man's pet kangaroo, which I didn't even know you could actually keep as actually can. That's kind of the thing.

A pet kangaroo was trapped in a pool area of a Florida apartment complex. So CBS Channel 12 in Tampa says that a kangaroo got into trouble in Tampa. It made its way to an apartment complex pool. Hillsborough County Sheriff's authorities were called regarding a kangaroo on the loose. And they released audio and some video as well. They put it up on his Facebook page. And the dispatcher goes 911, do you need police, fire, medical? And 911 goes, I guess police?

There's a kangaroo in my apartment. So they said that they got the HSCO or HCSO, sorry, agricultural unit. They reunited the kangaroo with its own. owner. So he did have proper registration papers and could prove ownership. If he didn't though, I guess that would have been, you know, he would have been in trouble. But I mean,

I didn't even know you could. That kangaroo was like bored. Like I feel bad for it. Yeah. Is it a baby though? A Joey? He's just chilling. He's hopping around. He looks fun. I want to pet him. Carry him around. Like we could be friends.

He looks a little bigger than a Joey. Whenever I see animals, I'm like, I get the snow white complex. Like I can go talk to them and like butterflies and hummingbirds will land on my hands and stuff like that. You know, I just get this like major snow white complex. In fact, whenever anybody's animals like me, I feel like snow white. And then I hear a choir go, oh, and then the sun's rays come out and then all the animals come and talk to me. That's what it feels like. You guys know know exactly what I'm talking about. Let's see. This is two brothers were arrested. Two Florida dudes were arrested. They robbed a seven-year-old child on a Broward County Transit bus.

It occurred, actually the very end of last month. It was a city bus. And the two brothers, Dinell Osir and Darnelinsen Osir, allegedly stole a cell phone from the child, a seven-year-old, while on the bus. And then they ran away on foot. Officers pursued on foot. They quickly located them. And while detained, they conducted a live lineup, the victim and witness. positively identified them. And so the officers noted that the brothers, they didn't use weapons. They used physical force to take the child's phone. And they were arrested and transported to Broward County Maine jail, a seven-year-old with a phone. But you don't steal it. Just because, you know, maybe you don't approve of it or you want it for yourself. Don't steal. Like go out

and get a joby job and, you know, kind of do it yourself there. That's, I don't know. Let's see here. I'm not reading this one. This one, this is like a security one. No, I don't want to read that one. That's boring and it gets too technical. Oh, here's the one I want. So you guys know combos.

I love the combo snacks, right? A Florida man is suing the combos people, the people who make the snacks because they were saying that they didn't have enough cheese in them. What? They sued for that? Yeah. A Florida man sued. combos because they said saying that they I don't I mean I don't know how much money you're going to get it's a

class action suit a florida man's demanded a trial he says that the they don't have enough cheese and apparently he says the filling was made with real cheese and and it says natural flavors real cheese doesn't have natural flavors because cheese naturally is flavored like cheese and so they're literally like going to court over it a class action suit by something the special counsel said in his court is that one of the reasons you were not charged is because in his description you are a well-meaning elderly man with a poor memory. I'm well-meaning and I'm an elderly man and I know what the hell I'm doing. I've been president and I put this country back on his feet. I don't need his recommendation. How bad is your memory and can you continue as president? My memory is so bad I let you speak.

that's your memory has gotten worse my memory is not my memory is fine my memory take a look at what I've done since I become present none of you thought I could pass

any of the things I got passed how'd that happen you know I guess I just forgot what was going on Mr. President Do voters have concerns about your age how are you going to diswaste

and do you fear that this report is only going to feel further concerns about their age Only by some of you I mean, I don't know what the hell I signed up for last night, but I'm like, you know what? I'm going to have, like, it was one of those rare evenings where I didn't have a whole lot going on. And I'm like, you know, I got some projects I got to do. I got, you know, I got some stuff going on.

I, you know, I'll maybe I'll get, you know, maybe I'll get some stuff for, you know, to make, start playing on my Easter dinner. Maybe I'll start doing that. Start playing on my Easter dinner, right? or maybe, you know, maybe I'll play a little Warhammer. I don't know. Or maybe I'll crochet something. It's my old lady hobby. Nope, nope, because the president decided to add a speech to his schedule.

It wasn't on there previously. He decided to add this speech. And I was doing all, I was getting my stuff ready and I was checking out Tucker's Putin interview, which we're going to talk about. But I was checking that out. And then Biden was like, I'm going to do my speech now. and he I don't know what I expected do people want him I think they hate him I think they hate him and I think they want him to lose I that's the only reason I can see as to why you would let that guy go out

and do what he did welcome to the show it's Friday we made it to Friday ladies and gentlemen Dana Lash here with you a lot to hit you can listen coast to coast all that good stuff you can also stream thank you it's Friday stream the radio program and you can also watch the simulcast of the radio program as well. If you check it on on Channel 347, if you look at DirecTV, that's what it's on. YouTube, Facebook, always a good discussion over at YouTube as well. But I'm, you know, I was, excuse me, I'm still under the, I'm still recovering from the plague. It takes your girl a little bit.

And so, you know, I'm looking at this. I was, I was going over all the clips of his speech. I don't even know where we're going to start because I feel like you guys, because you guys, you were like tucking your kids into bed last. night. Y'all were getting your clothes ready for your work day today. Y'all were packing your lunches. So you didn't watch this stuff because you got to work, right? This is my job. So can I, can I also, wait a minute, where's this at? Where's this at? Where's the one? He threw his whole staff under the bus. You heard his back and forth with Ducey there just a minute. Just a second ago.

Oh my gosh. This is so bad. Can we please play audio sound bite? Yeah, seven. Thank you. responsibility for you being careless with classified material? I take responsibility for not having seeing exactly what my staff was doing. There goes in and points out. Things that appeared in my garage, things that came out of my home, things that were moved not by me, but my staff, but my staff. This is the question I had asked on social media

last night because I was stunned. he so the giant A double snakes tower of boxes in the corner of his garage next to his Corvette he didn't notice he didn't ask that's my question he didn't notice any of these things he didn't ask about any other stuff that's my question I don't get it I got doesn't make any sense to me I mean people know what's in their garages my garage is kind of a hot mess but I know what's in there I can tell you every little thing that's in there, every little bitty bit thing. But that's me because I know what's going on in my life. You know what I'm saying?

Like this was nuts. So he blames his staff. He blames his staff. Can we do the flashback? Audio sound by one. This was when he was raging on Trump with the classified docs at Mar-a-Lago. Listen. And you saw the photograph of the top-secret documents laid out on the floor at Mar-a-Lago.

What did you think to yourself? looking at that image. How that could possibly happen. How anyone could be that irresponsible. And I thought what data was in there that may compromise sources and methods. By that, I mean names of people who helped, etc. And it's just totally irresponsible. And you don't know.

Do we want to play seven again? Just to compare again. I mean, we just play it. But I mean, it's in night and day. difference. Just hit it again, Juan. Just go ahead and play the hit again. Being careless with classified material. I take responsibility for not having seen exactly what my

staff was doing. It goes in and points out. Things that appeared in my garage, things that came out of my home, things that were moved not by me, but my staff. But my staff. See, it wasn't moved by him. It was moved by his staff. So the classified document probe, what do you went and spoke about? is that the guy who controls the nuclear codes was found to have mishandled classified info, but the Department of Justice isn't going to pursue it because they literally say he's not competent to stand trial.

So this is what special counsel wrote, quote, we have also considered that at trial Mr. Biden would likely present himself to a jury as he did during our interview of him as a sympathetic well-meaning elderly man with a poor memory. Based on our direct interactions with him and observations of him, he is someone for whom many jurors will still want to identify reasonable doubt. It would be difficult to convince a jury they should convict him. By then a former president well into his 80s of a serious felony that requires a mental state of willfulness. So Potatus doesn't have any like state of willfulness. He's just an empty basket, so to speak. They actually don't believe that he's

is competent enough to stay in trial. That's why they're not pursuing this. Oh my gosh, but it gets worse. Oh, it gets worse. Audio sound bite 8. I want you guys to see if you can spot. What's wrong with a statement? Go ahead.

The conduct of the response in Gaza, in the Gaza Strip, has been over the top. I think that, as you know, initially, the president of Mexico, Cece, did not want to open up the gate to allow humanitarian material to get in. I talked to him. I convinced to open the gate. I talked to Beebe to open the gate on the Israeli side. So Biden went to Mexico to tell Egypt's president to open the gate. I'm not kidding. because Cece is the head of Egypt, not of Mexico. If you get the newsletter in the morning,

if you're the subscriber that gets the prep that I send out in the morning, thank me for not overloading you with memes, because I just briefly considered making the whole thing memes about this. His geography, according to Joe Biden, is that Mexico is right there under Gaza and right. by Israel. So he went and asked Egypt's president to open up. Open it up down there in Mexico. He was talking, I can't, that's what he did. So he, that was last night. You know, if you're, if you're trying to go out and make the case that you're not, an elderly geyser who's losing his

mind, that wasn't the best way to do it. And then it made me wonder, are they doing it on purpose? Are they sending him out on purpose so that they can make the case to take him out? because they would love to push Gavin Newsom in there. Are they trying to make the case to force him to step down? It's like they let him go out there or made him go out there, and then they're doing this to force him to step down. I mean, I really don't know what else to say about it. I really, I don't know.

I mean, the Babylon Bee had a headline that says Biden calls for the president to step down. I feel like we're moments away from that. This is crazy. Our partners for this portion of our program, it's our friends over at Keltech, the sub 2K, Gen 3, awesome firearm. You got to check it out if you haven't. Keltec makes a lot of really cool stuff, and they have a lot of really innovative things coming out this year and later this year as well. This is the Gen 3, 9mm Caltech sub 2K carbine, and it folds in half, and it folds in half, and it folds in half. And it folds in half. Now, they're still, they're still, as I said, they made a lot of upgrades to this. So you have the upgraded aluminum trigger. Redesigned mechanics. You got a lighten five-pound trigger pull. You also have a redesigned operating handle, lightened action, new chamber indicator. There's a lot of really cool stuff that

they upgraded on this. And this is the Gen 3 version of the 9mm carbine. That's the sub 2K. It's awesome. Lightweight, accurate, easy to handle. This is one you got to have in your collection. Made in America by family-owned Keltec. To learn more about the sub 2K Gen 3, visit KeltecWeapons.com. That's KELTECWeapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick 5. So apparently, there's Fat Thursday. Fat Thursday is the Thursday before Ash Wednesday in February.

So that would have been yesterday. So that was yesterday. I never knew it existed. I knew Fat Tuesday, but Fat Thursday? It's known as, I can't even say this, but it looks funny. Plusy Swartek in Poland. That sounds right. Yeah, that sounds totally right.

And they eat a donut filled with rose-hap jam and dusted with powdered sugar. That sounds lovely. So I never knew that there was like a fat Thursday. Tons of rain, forced gallons of raw sewage to spill from L.A. County sewers. What are all of the politicians doing in the sewer? Oh, wait, that's sewage. Did you think I was going to have to be serious about this headline? No.

They're trying to deal with mud because it's the Pineapple Express, the atmospheric river. and the L.A. Basin is trying to cope, and they can't. So they had a huge spill. It was Rancho Dominguez, eight million gallons, overflowed manholes streamed into storm drains. It was pretty bad. Ooh, let's see. This truck accident, let me pull this up. This is WGAL, Channel 8, a truck rolled over a highway in Franklin County, splitting the truck open, and it was a apparently there were a number of tractor trailers involved. One of them was carrying VIX. It was a truck full of the VIX VIPA rub

and some of the humidifiers. I bet everybody could breathe easier. That was a horrible joke, but you know it at me. Let's see here. This, there was a tiny dog that made a mess, had a little accident on a flight. This is New York Post. Because some people can bring their dogs into the cabin.

but the dog was let out of its crate, which is something that's not supposed to happen. And apparently the dog made a mess, and everybody in the cabin had to deal with it. They said it was horrible. And that the lady, the dog's owner, wouldn't clean it up. Yeah. And they said that the flight attendants had to deal with it. It was on the edge of a seat. And another lady refused to move or take, she refused to move her dog or take responsibility for it.

See, that's just being a bad pet owner. Like, I think that's abusive to your dog. and abusive to everyone else. Just like be a decent human if you're going to do this. So apparently there's now an AI toddler. This is just not going to end well. It's called Tong Tong. Yeah, it's an AI model.

Or it means little girl in English. It was created by the Beijing. Of course, it's China. Beijing Institute for General Artificial Intelligence. That's that they want everyone to be. Just like a robotic little toddler. That's what it is. Like Sands through the hourglass,

so are the days of the United States. So in Mr. Boyd-Chikovsky's response, he admits that he possessed the medical specimen, and he admits that he disposed of them. Okay. I know 2020 until July of 2023 when I disposed it down. Yeah, so because that physical anomaly has been a point of stress in my life since I can remember, and my middle name that I chose is D, because my whole. life, I've been called Big D,

MD from the D, and I thank God that these D's nuts were extracted. And they were put into a biohazard bag. And for giggles, I put them in a mason

jar, and I put them in the fridge next to the eggs. So let me ask you this. Was the conversation What is up with the headwear for these? Did you please get your your test? This guy's wearing like Mario

Brothers Toad's hat. I'm, I feel like I'm looking at Eddie Izard and Toad from Super Mario Brothers with a beard. I'm really confused right now. This is what Kane shows for days of these United States. It's a dude

who had his jiblets snipped and put, because you know, that's what normal dudes do. They get their giblets sniffed and putting a mason jar pickled next to the eggs. People get them sniffed, you know, for the, no, he got him whack. He got him taken off. He got his jiblets cut off.

Removed. And pickled and putting a jar by the eggs. I'm not kidding you. That's literally what happened. And I'm like, um, and then an ex took them. And that was the ex the guy with Toad's hat on? I think so. You guys know Toad Stool from Super Mario Brothers? That was Toad's hat. Like, what in the world? I don't understand that I'm confused. So what happened is the, the guy who is cosplay as a woman, and thinks that if he just wears a kerchief on his head and holds a dog that, you know, voila, vagina, that... Yeah, no, still, that doesn't mean, he's still dude. You mean, you can... You can cut your beans off all you want to.

It doesn't, you know, doesn't give you... Doesn't transform your bits into a, you know, a lady part. But anyway, so he had, like, literally his giblets pickled in a mason jar that his... partner kept by the eggs in the fridge and then what he got mad because the partner threw him out what did you think was going to happen with them you can't reattach them they're pickled in a jar and and but that's not the question who does that like keeps them in a pickle who cuts it off and then who keeps them in a pickle jar right by the wayvos I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd cane Oh my gosh.

I just, it is something else. But it is. He did look like Eddie Isard, right? At least Eddie Isard doesn't go around telling everybody what pronouns to use. So I don't have no problem with Eddie Isard because Eddie Isard just lives his life and he's not going to sit here and, you know, push up into your business and be like, you need to change your bathrooms. And he doesn't do that. But that guy with the Toad hat, that bothered me.

I just hated the hat so bad. it just, I think, normally I know I'm not supposed to be mean in person because that's how I was raised to not be mean. But I really do think that if I pass that guy, like say, you know, I was at Costco and I'm like, you know, with my cart and I watched that guy walk around with this toadstool hat, I think I legit would have to stop him and be like, oh, I just have to tell you, I hate your hat. I hate it so bad. I wish I could set it on fire. But sadly, it's on your head and that would be a crime. But I hate your hat. And then I would just go off and do my business.

Seems perfectly acceptable. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.