The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Florida State Snub

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

Florida State gets snubbed out of the College Football Playoff. Meanwhile, Trump says he made up the term caravan.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaChange the lives of Veterans and their families with the Boot Campaign with every purchase of the Ready-to-Drink Coffee!All Family Pharmacyhttps://allfamilypharma.com/danaSave 10% with code DANA10 when you order today at https://allfamilypharma.com/danaHeadrest Safehttps://theheadrestsafe.comUse code DANA for an exclusive $50 off. Hillsdalehttps://danaforhillsdale.comVisit Hillsdale College for a special Christmas viewing of O Little Town Of Bethlehem. KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news. Nimi Skincarehttps://nimiskincare.comDon’t compromise. Use promo code DANA for 10% your order.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet a free smartphone with code FRIDAY76 when you switch today! Wise Food Storagehttps://preparewithdana.comSave $50 on your 4-Week Survival Food Kit plus free shipping when you order today!

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. I've got questions about this one. So this Florida man, oh boy,

this is Fox 535 Orlando. A Florida man was arrested for quitting his job. He transports, he works with the prison system. He was transporting prison inmates. He quit his job literally in the middle of his job. He was driving a van full of prison inmates and just decided to quit. While he was driving, he was in North Carolina. Deputies got a call to be on the lookout for an inmate transport van traveling in Statesville, North Carolina.

And they said the driver was off course. He refused to return the van. He had four inmates in the lock cargo area. Another employee traveling texted the company owner. He said he was quitting his job in the middle of the trip and he wasn't going to stop. He finally stopped the van in the middle of a highway. Well, deputy stopped it. And he was charged with five counts of felony second degree kidnapping and felony larceny by an employee.

Like if you're going to quit your job, you've got to, you can't do it like literally while you're doing. it. Yeah, exactly. I saw this. This is over at W-E-S-H-2. So I saw someone, somebody shared this on Twitter. I saw somebody, a listener shared it on Twitter. And we're saying that, well, I guess the Florida woman didn't see this coming.

She's a psychic. And apparently, Madam Catherine Fortune-telling, a car, like, crashed right through her house. right through the living room area. How do you not see that coming? Yeah. The driver apparently had a seizure while they were driving and the driver's in stable condition. It's not clear if it was, I mean, the thought is that it was during while the driver

was driving. But they say that they had some, another person that was transported to the local hospital with minor injuries. It resulted in structural damage to the home. Goodness. Let's see. This headline, Florida man charged after assaulting a wife with a sausage. Police said that alcohol may have been a factor. With a what?

You think it was? You think the alcohol was a factor? The affidavit doesn't say what kind of sausage the wife was pelted with. It was a smoking gun. Ray Allen, 61. He was released from custody. This was in St. Petersburg. It was on Saturday. Judge told him, do not have any contact with your wife.

And they said that they had a verbal altercation Saturday afternoon. and he struck her in the face with a sausage. And they said, I love the affidavit goes, that alcohol was likely a factor. No. I know. The affidavit does not confirm Kane, whether or not it was a patty or a link.

Sausage? Yeah. Okay. That's a, because I think that, I mean, if we're talking like a Jimmy Dean link, those are pretty small. Yeah. Right?

Like, you'd break one on somebody's face. He hit him with it. You know what I'm saying? And like. It's a summer sausage. You could pretty much beat somebody. Dude, you could. You could beat somebody to death with a summer sausage.

But now, they didn't say if it was a summer sausage or not. I mean, I don't know. They said that they washed the victim's right eye out with saline. So the uncooked meat wouldn't cause an infection. So it doesn't sound like summer sausage because that's cured. So this is, if it's an uncooked sausage. Yeah. Mm, what kind of, what kind was it?

Don't be doing your, don't be doing your sausage like that. Don't be, you don't be hitting people like that because, you know, good heavens. Oh, let's see. I'm going to have to save this one for tomorrow. I'm not even going to hint at what it is. It's just nuts. Boom. There may be one hint. Then I'm going to have you guys explain some football stuff to me. Because I think that, first off, we had this whole thing with FSU and Bama. And Trump goes, let's blame des sanctimonious. Okay. I feel like we've got a tail in two responses with things here. that was not needed. Explain to me something about the FSU thing because as you guys know, I'm a football genius. If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you. And it's Florida State college football playoffs

and apparently Alabama was chosen over undefeated FSU and I'm trying to figure out how you can be undefeated. Didn't they have, I read that they had a 31-yard touchdown pass to beat Auburn a week ago. go. But someone is saying, oh, but they're very average. So like that counts less or something.

Kane and Steve, please explain. I don't know. What's there to explain? They're undefeated. They were ranked five. It seems like they got robbed. Yeah, I think so. But, I mean, they will be in the Orange Bowl.

But I don't know. I mean, if I'm the team, I'd be considering some sort of pushback to this. Can you pushback? I mean, there's no appeal is there? I don't know. Maybe if they boycott. the Orange Bowl or something? I don't know what they could do. Trump was on his platform and he goes, they become the first power five team.

This is what he wrote. To be left out of college football playoffs, really bad lobbying effort. Let's blame to sanctimonious, which I don't know how. Yeah, that doesn't make sense. I don't know how the Florida government. I don't know how that. Wouldn't he invite more criticism if he'd had been involved in some kind of lobbying effort? Maybe. Is there a lobbying effort to even get, Steve, how does that work? Do they lobby people?

Like, do you have like a football lobby group to make that happen? There's like a, it's a committee. It's a college football playoff selection committee. And there's like former coaches and a bunch of other NCAA people that just get in a room. And they just pick. Doesn't really have any logic to it. This sounds like an episode of South Park. Like they just throw stuff to the wall and see what sticks.

So when I played football in high school, I can imagine if I'm on the team and I played an entire year, our team was undefeated. Yeah. And we were ranked that. And out of the four, I would be, I don't know what I would do. I mean, I worked the entire year. I played the entire year for nothing is kind of what I would be thinking if I was one of the players. And what if you were a senior? She's your last season.

Right. What a robbery. Now, some were saying that it's the sports media sycophancy and fear of Nick Saban. And I've seen some people say, it's just gross. Now, I know that Jordan Travis, and that was their best player that I FSU you had. How does Travis getting hurt take them out of it? I don't get that. Like, how was that used as a, especially when they're undefeated? How do you use that in your factoring process to keep a team out? That doesn't make any sense to me. No, it doesn't. It would mean. That sounds like an excuse.

It is. And I think that's what the committee, quote unquote, you know, when they have these discussions, they start interjecting these types of things like, oh, they have a hurt player. Let's just push them down on the list. not based on performance, but based on who's on the injured list. That's so lame. It's weird. Look, because I'm a football genius, you know, me with the football. I don't know. That just seems so incredibly.

That just seems so lame to me. I actually think I like, I know more about college football than I do NFL. I don't know why that is. I think because, now please don't take this the wrong way. I am not. I like sports for this, the, skill of it, but I've never gotten in except for the Cardinals. That's God's team. And I'm talking about the baseball Cardinals, not the traders that play pigskin. But I really don't get into a lot of

it because I have a very cynical view of sports and the sports team like fervor that surrounds it. it is probably the most cynical view someone could take. I've had friends tell me that they don't like talking to me about sports stuff because I suck the joy out of life. And they say it jokingly, but they're totally honest. And I agree with them. I just don't get into it. Like I have friends that, like, get into all the cowboys stuff. And they're like, you know, I don't dislike the cowboys.

I mean, you have to say that living in Dallas that'll come get you. It's like a whole thing. But I feel a little bit like it's some bread and circuses. You know what I mean? Like the whole saying back in the Roman. and days where why do we have gladiators and why do we do all of this? Oh, well, we'll distract everyone with bread and circuses. I sort of feel that it's like that in a way.

But then at the same time, I also think that it's actually a really smart thing that community leaders can do to bring in revenue to the city and foster city pride and fellowship and all of that. So I see both sides of it, but I just very cynically, I cannot get myself excited about stuff to that point. Like I, I, one of my kids goes to, uh, college and it's very big football. And, you know, you kind of have to adopt it. You know what I'm saying?

But I'm just not as, I mean, I've seen moms literally paint their face. Like the colors of the, of the team. I just don't think I could go that far. But, you know, kudos to those who do. Is that, I don't think that's cynical. I feel like I'm being very generous and realist, right? I don't know. I did like the, I did really get into the, the, the, the cardinals.

in St. Louis. And I still do whenever they're in playoffs, October particularly, because my husband and I, our anniversary falls towards the end of October. And I can't tell you how many times we've been a nice restaurant celebrating our anniversary. And we're both got the MLB app up. And we are watching to see how the cards are doing it. That is literally the only time I will ever get really into it. That's it. So, because, you know, it's right October. Anyway, that's just sad. I feel bad for their players. So one last quick question for Stephen Kane. I'm going to move on. So is there any way to appeal this? This is like a done decision this time around.

I know Steve said that everything changes. We talked about this on break and he said everything changes next year. This is the last year for this. That's not really much of a salve to the wounds of the seniors that are at FSU now. Right. So, I mean, it is what it is. I mean, I don't think there is any going back. That's so lame.

There's no appeal process that I'm aware of. Really? That's so lame. Because I got to book travel and hotels and all that stuff, so that's done. But, I mean, the real, really. reason is they want the TV rating just bam in there. That's what I think. Yeah.

I mean, if the roles are reversed and FSU had a loss and then beat the team in their conference, I don't think that Alabama would be jumping or FSU would be jumping Alabama in that case. Damn. So the role is being reversed. It doesn't look like that would ever happen, but somehow it happened with FSU. Yeah. Our partners, our friends over at Keltak, the PMR, MR, 30. it stands for pistol.

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I love this thing. This is a 22, holds 30 rounds. Standard capacity, by the way. It's based on George Calgary's stuff. I think he's from the future and he just like time traveled to now. And that's why their stuff is like all space blaster looking. But it's based on his design, obviously. PMR 30 was released in 2010.

It's been a super popular 22 for a really, really long time. I've used this to teach, to train handguns with my, to train, whether it's stance, grip, target acquisition, when my kids were first starting with handguns. this was one that I introduced them to, the PMR 30. 22 Magnum got great high-vis fiber optic front, rear sides, great target acquisition. You have an integrated accessory, rare like a mount of light on it, five pound trigger. I mean, it's just really smooth, accurate. And the CMR 30, that's the PMR 30, like I said, the Big Brother, takes the same 30 around 22 mag magazine,

has a ballistic advantage, obviously. But all of their stuff, it's accurate, it's lightweight, it's manageable. and I just think this is great for, you know, range day, you know, good for self-defense as well. Follow the KELTEC on social media and check out the PMR 30 and the CMR 30 over at KELTECWeapons.com. That's K-E-L-T-E-C Weapons.com. Tell them that Dana sent you. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So this is a weird story. It's apparently parents do not realize that kids are failing because too many report cards just simply say that they're getting A's and B's.

Huh. They said that there's this is something that they've noticed. Gallup and an educational, I guess, a company published a survey of K through 12 public school parents. And it said that nearly nine and 10 parents believed that their child was at or above grade level even after the pandemic. However, When they compared the parents' assessment to the actual academic performance data as gathered by the National Assessment of Educational Progress, they said that the awareness gap between parent perception and student performance is a massive problem. The actual percentage of students working at grade level is about 50% at best. Wow. And they said that they think what's driving the awareness gap is, we're probably. report cards. Because apparently when you have one grade that just goes across everything and they

don't break it down because apparently they've changed the way grading the assessment is shown on quarterly and midterms, one grade ignores all the nuance and all of the other areas of mastery. And it just looks, it just looks like it's kind of covered up. Maybe they needed to kind of alter that because I do think it's giving parents. And they have a lot of receipts to back this up. that does seem, you know, interesting. A George Santos movie is in the works, of course it is, at HBO films. And it's behind the people who do Veep, which I've never watched. So I don't know if that's going to be funnier if that's a good thing.

But I can't, I mean, he is basically a character. But that's going to be a guy with the most conservative New York lawmaker. And they got it. They kicked him out of the house. You're going to be kidding me. The House of Commons. This is some British news. I don't like these two.

So I think it's kind of funny. they're being told, I don't understand the process to this, but they're being told to strip that red-headed prince, the spare, and his super annoying Z-list suitcase brief girl, briefcase girl, wife who was on some like D-list cable show and she wasn't even a star on it. After the latest installment, they've been, I just think the couple's annoying, and I don't know,

like, how do you have a title and you're here in the United States? It's so stupid. It's just people are thirsty. Noise cameras are coming to New York to punish loud drivers as complaints surge. 23 and me says that hackers accessed a significant number of files about their user's ancestry. This is from TechCrunch. Okay, so I swear, like just three months ago, we had this about another one of these type of companies. I don't think those companies are safe, I think. Stick with us.

We're going to give a big deportation. We're going to get those bad ones out. Remember, mental institutions. prisons and terrorists are pouring into our country. We right now, the largest caravan. That was my term, I think. I have a lot of terms, a lot of good terms. But caravan was my term. What are you up and over there for?

The main invented the word. It's never been used before. I don't believe that's true. Why are you such a Nazi? I'm not sure that's true either. No one knew this word caravan until he made it a term. The 16th century word? That's not the word that they used.

They used a bunch of wagons. Came from the original Persian word? Yeah, they just, they used a bunch of, bunch of wagons. That's what it was. And then I think the translation, like roughly sounded like that word. But it wasn't a word until Trump said it. We're like, caravan. What's this word?

Never heard this word before. And then we started like, oh, well, I guess we'll use this word. word now. It's now been put into the parlance of our time. You laugh, but it's true. You're just jealous that your wordsmith skills aren't up to snuff. Welcome to the show. I cannot, I don't know what kind of mood I'm in. I'm in to hate everything, burn it all down, fall la la la la la, daft my halls. He knows that the Dodge. The Dodge Caravan actually came out in like 1984. Well, is it caravan or caravan? I don't know what you said there. Two different. Sure what you actually said. Two different things.

I mean, the Dodge Caravan. Are you okay? Yeah, it was, that word didn't exist until he was in the White House. It's the matter with you. He's not inclined to believe it for some reason. Well, he said that. Is that weird? For me not to want to believe it?

Who do you want to believe? He just said that. Or my own life experience? That's weird. Maybe you were saying the name of your car wrong this whole time. I think I was. It's the caravan. It's what it was.

Totally different from caravan. Oh, well. Gosh, I mean. Since you said it like that. That's like saying that, you know, it's, no, it's not like tomato, tomato. Stop it. Some one of you literally just emailed me. One of you people out there literally emailed.

Stop it. Caravan. It's a totally different word. Caravan. Yeah. Potato. Because caravan, I mean, think about it. Care.

cares about vans of people. It's like a phrase. Care for vans. Care of vans. Care of vans. It doesn't make sense to say care about vans. There's too many syllables. Caravans, care of the vans that are transporting the people. That's probably what he means.

Do other people have to? Spide each us. Shut up. Do other people have to get permission to use that word now? I don't know. He ought to trademark it. I mean, he says it's his term. He should trademark his term.

I would trademark all my terms and just slapety, slap, slap, people. Actually, you've got to use it in order to be able to claim. We're worried you have to use it in commerce. So unless you can prove that you made money with it first, then, which, you know, now that you say that, Kane, you bring up a good point about the Dodge Caravan. I'm just saying. So, well, we... It's caravan. It's what it is.

It's caravan. But that's, you know. I guess not all of us are super knowledgeable about automobiles. Welcome back to the program. As I said, you're lovable, not lovable at all today. You're just total. We and Vinegar Cromogeon hostess, Dana Lash here with you. And so I just, there's, we got Iowa coming up.

Everybody's a kiss in the ring of Iowa. Everybody's over. I love the primaries, though. The early states. Right? Every politician of every party, of every stripe of every affiliation, they make their way up to Iowa. I love corn. Me and my family eat corn all the time. We don't even put a Christmas tree up. It's just a tree made of different corns on the cobs. I sit on bay hail. Bay hail? You just were making fun of meat because you didn't know that Dodge Caravala? Bales of hay while I eat my corn in front of a camera.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, meat's on still. I mean, it makes sense. But yeah, I love the people. Like, oh, yeah, I love corn. It's delicious. I eat corn all the time. And then it's like, let's bring our whole family up. Let's bring grandma up.

Look at all of us. We all eat corn. That's how much we love Iowa. Eat the corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, I mean, it's hysterical. I love it. It's, uh, and Iowa, God love them. Like football and the first caucus state. They are living their best life right now.

They're getting all of this attention from all of these. these politicians, everybody's loving on Iowa. I was like the most popular girl to dance right now. Like, thank you. Thank you. They love it. Yeah, what did you?

Corn flakes, corn grits, corn on the cob, corn brulee, cream corn, corn, dogs, corn meal, corn chips. Corn pop? There it is. There it is. Carathon.

So the, everybody's going to, everybody loves them some Iowa. And we'll see, we'll see how this turns out for people. Isn't there 99 counties there? Yeah, a lot of counties there. Can I just say one more thing? I do think Iowa, and we talked about this already. I just have to say it again. I am amazed at how neat and tidy their county boundaries are.

Well done. Well done, Iowa. It's not like some of these other. states where they're like, I'll just throw some noodles on the map and wherever the noodles are. That's how they lean. That's where we'll draw all the boundaries for our districts, our counties. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.