The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Foghorn Leghorn

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

Kamala Harris spends the weekend campaigning in swing states while lying about labor unions and using a fake accent. Dana recreates the fake Southern accent that Democrats have been using for years by reading an over-the-counter prescription bottle. Meanwhile, men are pretending to be trans women to make money on OnlyFans and the trans community got upset.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Byrnahttps://byrna.com/danaVisit today for 10% off and get the protection you need.  Cozy Earthhttps://cozyearth.com/danaGet the ultimate in comfort at up to 40% off with code DANA. Hillsdalehttps://danaforhillsdale.comVisit DanaForHillsdale.com to pick your new favorite podcast today on the Hillsdale College Podcast Network.  KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comInnovation. Performance. Keltec. Learn more at KelTecWeapons.com today.Lumenhttps://lumen.me/danashowTake the next step in improving your health.  Visit lumen.me/danashow to get 15% off your Lumen.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet a free month of service with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.Tax Network USAhttps://TNUSA.com/DANADon’t let the IRS control your life—empower yourself with Tax Network USA. Visit TNUSA.com/DANA

Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. All right. I immediately have to go to this one, which is insane and amazing. A lot of people have different ways to get customer attention when they're selling stuff out and about, right? So, you know, like Girl Scout cookies, they have their little table and they're all up in their Girl's Scott uniforms. and you have the Salvation Army bell ringers

when they're raising money for their amazing programs that they do. They've got the kettles and they're ringing the bells. This guy decided to go way above that. According to Local 10 here in Florida, or they're in Florida, we're in Texas. A 46-year-old man's approach at a Florida Key strip mall to sell meth got him in trouble. He was running around with a machete.

Oh, no, sorry, throwing a beer bottle telling people he had a knife. One report said he had a knife, running around after shoppers, throwing beer bottles while trying to force them to buy meth at a strip mall, say deputies. That's not like bell ringing. Monroe County Sheriff's Office, they said deputies were sent to the Tavernier Town Center, and the guy, Stephen Bennett, was yelling at shoppers, throwing bottles at them, threatening one with a knife, trying to sell meth. He said no one, the officers say no one was seriously hurt. Deputies found 15 grams of meth on Bennett. Oh, and they did find the machete. So he was saying knife, but it was a machete according to the police report. That's a knife. Yeah, it's a big knife.

Scale pipes, all kinds of stuff. They got him on charges of meth trafficking, disorderly conduct, battery and possession of drug paraphernalia. He is in Key West Jail facility on a $125,000 bond. Yeah, that's not how you sell stuff. Not, you know. So in Florida, a man shot and killed a bear to protect his puppy, which I totally won't do, in Fort McCoy, Marion County, and he is not going to face charges. Now, Florida made it. Remember, it's the crack bear law. If a bear is coming to kill you and kill you, then you can shoot and kill the bear, and you're not going to go to jail, because normally they would try to take you to jail for it. This guy's dog, this bear was going to kill his dog. And now, as long as you notify Florida Wildlife Conservation within 24 hours, you can't, they're not going to charge you if you're defending your

yourself, your life and life of your loved ones. So this guy, good story for this. Thanks to Santa signing that law. Stick with us. Imagine if you had a GPS for your body's engine in your hands. That's exactly what you get with Lumen, the world's first handheld metabolic coach. Lumen is a breath-based metabolism tracker. It's a little tiny, see? You breathe into the Lumen at the start of your day and you get a metabolism snapshot and personalized nutrition plan. Then the app tells you if you're burning fat or if you're burning carbs. And when your metabolism is firing on all cylinders, you get a whole bunch of other benefits.

I mean, you get smoother weight management, a boost in energy, enhanced fitness results, and even better sleep. But it doesn't stop there. This very nifty little device also adjusts its advice to keep your metabolism in check through hormonal shifts. So taking all factors into account, it's all based on real-time data and proven science.

With Lumen, you're always in the driver's seat. So take the guesswork out. and know with real data what your body needs. Take the next step in improving your health and visit lumen.m.m.m.e slash Dana Show to get 15% off of your Lumen. That's L-U-M-E.combe slash Dana Show for 15% off of your purchase.

You better thank a union member. You better thank a union member for paid leave or for vacations. Foghorn, leghorn. Foghorn, leghorn. I want to, first stop. Do you know What accent was that from Kamala Harris?

What accent even was that? So she's like, union member? Can I just hear her say, I'm sorry, Juan, can I just hear her say that one part? How does she say it? I'm trying to get the enunciation down. It's very foghorn, leghornish. It's a member for sick leave.

You better back a union member for paid leave. You better thank a union member for vacation. What accent? What accent? is that. It is very fogghorn leghorn. Listen, he-ah. Say, yeah. It's very much like that. The same words from her, though, just in a different audience sounds.

Thank you. Yeah, but she's, okay, well, you know the issue here. She's, she's pandering. It's, you know, very, very simple. Welcome, welcome back. Everybody to the program, Dana Lash with you, your lovable crumogen, bottom of this first hour. I want to try to, every now and then I do this explainer about vocal presentation when you're a politician.

And I'm going to get into it, but just a, just a word. So you probably notice my voice has been a lot lower and it's cracked and all this stuff lately. I was a little afraid that I had nodules on my vocal cords and I was a little freaked out about it. So Friday when we were all off, went and got scoped and all this. Good news is don't have anything like that on my vocal cords. The bad news is they were, quote, immensely. swollen and it's due to some sort of environmental allergy. We've got to figure it out. And they put me on a lot of roids to try to get it because it's been like this for months to get that down.

And I was told that when I don't have to speak, I'm not supposed to. Yeah, hi. You met me. I'm not like going to carry around the little board like an old pioneer character and write stuff on my little board and show it. I'm not going to do that. So anyway, I say this because I don't know, the reason I bring this up, not just to share it with you, because some of you've written and said, you sound hoarse or, you know, we can tell something's different. But because I may not be able to, as bombastically, do an explainer on what I think she's trying to do here first without informing you of that. So the, yeah, as Juan says, we may have to get Dana one of the Wic buttons. I'll explain that later. Thanks, Ma. So great, Juan. I'm going to have to.

I'm just going to have to get those buttons. No, don't like. No. That's what we're going to have to do. I did. I went in because I was terrified that I had like nodules on my vocal cords. I could not explain what was going on. I wasn't sick.

It was nothing like that. But it was demonstrably different. And a lot of you had written and said, oh, I hope you're feeling okay. You sound sick. And my voice cracked and couldn't sing in church. And it was just real rough. And so went in. And so I've been on these roids.

and I got to go back in a week and do all this stuff. But anyway, long story short, they said they were immensely swollen, and that's why it was, you know, and I'm forcing a lot of air through them to make it work. So we'll see. I can still tell a difference, but we'll see. Anyway, my whole point in bringing that up, like I said, is I feel like she's trying to do. And I've talked about this for a decade. what I call

Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique. Now, I say this as someone who's raised Southern Baptist, so I can say that, and I don't bat an eye at me because I ain't going to have it. You all know that's what she's doing, right? It's called the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique. And it doesn't matter what ideology of politician you are. It doesn't matter if you're black or white, if you are man or if you are a woman, it is a technique that predominantly Democrats use

whenever they're speaking to large groups of people and they need some populism. They need to make it populism-y. So they start doing this. And I've told people before how you can read the ingredients off of a, you know, box of macaroni and cheese and you can make it's unauthoritative. If they do this kind of stuff to make them seem like they're one of the people to give it a revival flare and to get everybody amped up over what they don't know. They just know that someone's accents changed and they're very excited about this. And it's very simple, right?

I feel like I ought to do one of our live reads in the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique. You know, almost just as I don't know who I don't know who it would be, but just, you know, as a way to. to sort of further illustrate. But what I'll do? What do I got here? What do I got? I got something. Do I got something? I got a Kleenex box. I got a Kleenex box here, right? I can, well, there's not a lot to read on it. Damn, what do we got? What can I read? I don't want to read that. I don't know what that is. Should have thought about this. Give me something bland and basic to read. Is that like an aspirin bottle? Zinc. Yeah, just go ahead. I'm careful in front of the care. Just go ahead and hand it. There you go. Thank you.

So what old do you have over there? I've got healthy supplements. Kane has an entire CVS replete with receipts over at his death. 10, 12% of a CVS. He just handed me, he's got another big box. I see a giant bottle of fiber over there. You just read that like you're supposed to? Okay, sorry.

So why is it, why are the letters so little? So the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique, again, predominantly Democrats, but it's a vocal affectation whenever they want to sound authoritative and they're trying to connect with people and they're trying to give it this revival type air. So we're going to demonstrate the Southern Baptist Preacher Speaking Technique. And again, I was raised that way. I can do this with this essential zinc. Now remember, it's very important to have peaks and valleys whenever you're doing the Southern Baptist Preacher Speaking Technique.

And by that, I mean you've got to bring it up. And then you've got to bring it back down. You got your peaks and your valleys. Now, that's just how your volume and your pitch. I'm not even getting into the accent yet because that's an interesting one. She sounded like a bastardized foghorn leghorn. Y'all know that big old rooster. Now, listen, here.

Boy, I say here. I say here. So I'm going to demonstrate the whole thing. we're going to read about clean nutrition. Oh boy, with these people. This is essential zinc. It is called essential zinc. I see it's very important to over-emphasize any consonant at the end of a word.

Essential zinc. 50 milligrams. So you got your peaks and valleys in there, right? Peaks and valleys. So they say that they're talking about this company. Of course, it's non-GMO. They believe in clean nutrition and being transparent. See, you get your peaks and valleys.

And we're overemphasizing the consonants. That's why you won't, what is this word? Why you won't find genetically modified ingredients. Now, see, it's very important to punch in the face, every syllable of the word that you're reading, because that's the verbal version of an underscore and a bold, and maybe even an italic too, right? So keeping with reading just how simple everyday practicing with the Southern Baptist preacher, speaking technique, trademark, bling, you will not find gluten, wheat, dairy, lactose,

or artificial flavors in any of our products. Now, I see, I see, Keynes over there, like, he's just all medically like, amen. You sound authoritative, slightly terrifying, and also, you are inspiring some sort of reaction, what we don't know, in the person who is listening to you and receiving the message that you are delivering to them, right? And so it's very simple when you're doing the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique. You don't want to sound too much like Foghorn, leghorn, but you want to make sure that you're overemphasizing and that you're getting those peaks and valleys and that there's dynamic.

You don't want to be one tone the whole time. You've got to bring it back. And then you've got to very slowly take it back out to create anticipation in the hearts and minds. of the people listening. See? It also makes you sound wise because all old people back in the days of your, I think, talk like that. So anybody can do it. She tried doing it there. Can I hear her one more time? She tried doing it there. She just sucks at it. I mean, she's from California, you know? That's like getting sushi at Sam's. Go ahead. You better thank a union member. Better thank a union member.

No, that's not wrong. You better thank a union member for sick leave. You better thank a union member for pay leave. Okay, this sounds so bad. So first off, you can't have your voice like way up there in the trees, you know, way up there in the clouds. You got to bring it back down. So if I were her, I would say, you better thank Henry Ford for giving you that five-day work week. You better think Philip the 2nd of Spain. Who back in the 1594 gave you the eight-hour work week?

See, you got to, you can't just, she's just too much. She didn't even know how to do it right. But again, she's a Californian. Like I said, it's like getting sushi at Sims. It's like you wouldn't go to Burger King and ask for a taco. Why in the hell would you go to California and expect her to do the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique? You know what I'm saying? Just not the same thing.

It's not the same thing. Do you want your zinc back? You got more over there? I'll just get it during the commercial break. Okay. All right. I was just asking. I didn't know if it was like something you need.

needed now or, you know, you got a lot of stuff over there, though. So she just did that, that sounded lame. The way she did it sounded bad and it sounds, it's pandering. You better thank the federal government for shutting down your business during COVID, making you all go broke. I mean, there's so many, that's the problem with her line of reasoning with that, that you could take that so many different ways. Why are we still talking like we live in the 20s? Keltec, the P15. If you have not gotten the P15, you need to. It is the lightest, thinnest, double-stack 9mm on the market. And there are two versions of it. You have the polymer

version and you have the metal version with the wood panel texture grips. It's super classy. It looks like a James Bond gun. I love both of them. It's a striker fire pistol from the inventors of the microcompact pistol category. It is absolutely ideal for concealed carry. Get a lifetime warranty. This thing is so light. It is the lightest, thinnest. Double stack 9mm, 1.27 inches wide, 4 inch barrel. Tritium and fiber optic front sight. You got fully adjustable fiber optic 2.

Rear. And striker fire reliability. It has real smooth trigger pull. And it's just, it's game changing. It is one of my favorites to conceal carry. I love the P15. I have both versions. Love it.

And quality made right here in the US of A. It is ideal for whether you're new to compact, whether you're new to compact carrier or concealed carry or Cesar pros. It's sleek, lightweight, and powerful. It's the P-15 from Keltec. Learn more at Keltecweapons.com. That's K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com and tell them that Dana sent you. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So Facebook, obviously, they listen to your phone's microphone. By the way, Facebook, Burn and Hell, to serve ads for stuff that you mentioned. You know they do this, right?

That's why all the stuff, every time you talk about stuff, it pops up in Facebook ads. This happens all the time. There was a leak that came out. It's been reported. They said 404 media says that documents were leaked, blah, blah, blah. It says that the so-called active listening software uses AI to capture real-time intent data by listening to our conversations. Not a surprise. Let's see this.

I don't understand why people are like this. Louisville, Metro Police. They're looking for a dude who has defecated on the same porch multiple times over the past. week on their door, their porch camera for no reason. Police confirmed with WAVEE News that they've received three police reports about this alleged perpetrator. Maybe just, I don't know, I think I'd throw up in the, I think I'd try Joe Biden maneuver at that point.

The only time it's safe to kick open your door with a shotgun, just saying, it's kind of weird. They're like, well, he's not violent or trying to do force entry. I think that's bioterrorism. So I would classify that as violent, yes. When you're on my property, the fun thing about that is. I get to classify your intent. That's a consequence of trespassing on my property. If you don't want me to misclassify your intent, don't trespass on my property. The end, super easy. Monkey pock

pandemic, monkey pox pandemic, because they say there are fears of this, thousands infected with the disease in just one Brazilian city. Stop having sex with dudes, dudes with dudes, indiscriminately, and maybe you won't have this problem. I know it's not PC to say. I know we're supposed to pretend like we're morons and we don't know where it comes from, but that's where it comes from. Stop acting like it's universally applied to all of the humans in our species because it's not. Carnivore, it may not be for everyone. It is. Doctors say this trendy diet could lead to heart issues and dementia.

Stupid doctors could also lead to heart issues and dementia. That's another fun study. You know that? They just don't want you to eat red meat and they want to scare you with this medical fearborne. That's all it is. And it's this stupid podcast that I'm not going to promote by mentioning it. But some guy was saying, oh, carnivores with your diet can contribute to overall systemic inflammation, et cetera, et cetera. Interestingly, because my nutritionist and my endocrinologist and my doctor said the absolute opposite.

Huh. One of them is one of the leading medical professionals in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. And he just doesn't have enough time because his practice is so successful that he doesn't have time for podcasts. Just saying. Americans are moving at the lowest rate in decades, according to the Census Bureau. I don't know if I believe this. Well, they just measured this for 2022. They said fewer than 9% of Americans moved in 2022.

It was nearly 20% in the 1960s. They're blaming a collision of several factors, including COVID. And I think they're all leaving blue states for red states. I don't think that they're, I don't think that this is being judged adequately. Everybody knows the website only fans. I've never been there, but I just know that it exists because of the jokes. So apparently some of these broads on only fans, they were accused, this is the most, the irony here, they're being accused of pretending to be trans women to make money on the platform.

So they apparently put a video up and it said just two boys being silly with a trans flag on it. And then how do I say this? They had on boxer shorts and they gave themselves the fake appearance of a male copulatory organ. And the trans Tifa got real mad. And they said that you are pretending to be trans to grift. So wait a minute. The dudes pretending to be women are mad because there are women pretending. pretending to be men.

So the dudes pretending to be women to grift are mad that the women are grifting off of pretending to be men. They're pretending to be men who are pretending to be women. Yeah. Oh my gosh. But guess what? It's all pretend.

It is all pretend. This is like getting so invested in like a television show or a movie that the characters actually upset you. It's that bad because it's all pretend. It's all pretend. It's all pretend. So how can you get

so they're, I mean, they're like, they're trying to get them canceled. You know, they said these, uh, they're fake and the trans communities up in arms. They're apparently being threatened with violence because that's what trans Tifa does. You know, it's funny. The way they found out was they were too beautiful

for them to believe that they were actually men. They're too pretty for people to believe that they're dudes. That's right. Because they're, I mean, they're not dudes. And they don't have any mounds in their necks. Proves nobody's fooling anyone. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, and so the trans people got mad because they, you're too pretty to pretend to be a dude. Just let that, let that simmer for a minute.

When does the world? I can't even believe this is, this is the reality of news today. That's news. That's where we're at. Now, they had death threats and all kinds of, I don't know if they're going to get their account suspended, but they've, the whole community has been up and up and up. This has been like the big thing all weekend in the, and they're a little community. They don't see it. They don't see.

How do you not? They don't see it. But who are they to tell them that they can't? What if they are women who, they're women who want to pretend to be men who are pretending to be women? Right. Why can't they do that? I don't know why the left has to be so oppressive.

Why can't it work like that? No, no, no. Hold up. Why doesn't it work that way? You can't just, you don't get, they don't get to be gaykeepers. You can't just, oh, I'm a man who wants to pretend to be a woman. Okay, they're a one. woman who wanted to pretend to be men who are pretending to be women.

I'll take it. Back at you. Huh? I'm a woman pretending to be a man. He's pretending to be a woman who's actually a man. We're in Tropic Thunder territory right now. This is where we're at. This is leveled tropic thunder.

So this, I can't get over the story. This is so funny. So, again, there are women pretending to be dudes who are pretending to be women. And the trans Tifa are all mad about it. By the way, can you say tranny anymore? Is that a word that one can say? Well, you just did. So I think so.

No, I'm just curious because I just remember like in the 90s, they even said it. Like the people who would say that they were. That's true. But I think they do like with midget. You can't say I have to say little people now. And it's like with that. But what is the difference between trans and tranny? Are you talking about mechanics?

I know. I just don't understand why the like letters like mere three letters like makes it like or okay or okay. I don't, you know, this is also damn stupid. People have so much time on their hands. They invent things to get offended about. All the pretending and I got to pretend that I cared about all this stuff. Yeah.

Like, I want to pretend about stuff too. And I want to force people into making it real. Right? Like maybe we can get that yacht after all. You know what I'm saying? Like a real one, not Marco Rubio's little boat. Just saying. All right, we got more on the way.

Oh, one other thing before we go. You know how Tim Walts was saying that he, He was that he wasn't in labor. What was he saying? He's on the labor union's pocket. He is the pocket. And it reminded me, we're going to start calling him Mr. Pocket. If you've ever seen the ballot of Buster Scruggs by the Cohen brothers, it is like a series of Western vignettes that are all tied together.

It's one of the most brilliant, like, Western themed. It's a not a series. It's a film. It's hysterical and brilliant and really smartly done. But Tom, Tom Wade is in it. And he plays this prospector. and he finds this parcel of land and there's gold on it and he's trying to find this pocket of gold and he keeps calling out Mr. Pocket. Anyway, long story short, it made me think of that.

So I'm going to start calling Tim Walts, Mr. Pocket. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.