The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Goose Gassage

Episode Date: June 18, 2025

The state of Michigan has decided the best way to get their growing geese population under control is to gas them to death. Meanwhile, a war criminal who helped orchestrate the Rwandan genocide hid out as a Long Island beekeeper for decades.Thank you for supporting our sponsors that make The Dana Show possible…Relief Factorhttps://relieffactor.com OR CALL 1-800-4-RELIEFTurn the clock back on pain with Relief Factor. Get their 3-week Relief Factor Quick Start for only $19.95 today! Goldcohttps://DanaLikesGold.com Protect your financial future with my trusted gold company, GoldCo.  Get your GoldCo 2025 Gold & Silver Kit today, and you could qualify for up to 10% in bonus silver.Byrnahttps://Byrna.com/danaGet your hands on the new compact Byrna CL. Visit Byrna.com/Dana receive 10% off.Patriot Mobilehttps://PatriotMobile.com/DanaDana’s personal cell phone provider is Patriot Mobile. Get a FREE MONTH of service with code DANAHumanNhttps://HumanN.comFind both the new SuperBerine and the #1 bestselling SuperBeets Heart Chews at Sam’s Club!KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSee the third generation of the iconic SUB2000 and the NEW PS57 - Keltec Innovation & Performance at its best.All Family Pharmacyhttps://AllFamilyPharmacy.com/DanaUse code Dana20 to save 20% off your entire order.PreBornhttps://Preborn.com/DanaWith your help, we can hit the goal of 1,000 ultrasounds by the end of June! Just dial #250 and say the word “Baby”. Angel Studioshttps://Angel.com/danaStream King of Kings, check out fan-picked shows, and claim your member perks.

Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. So a Florida man, he got done, got himself in trouble here. He broke in, it's the Scambia County. He broke in to his ex-girlfriend's home through a doggie door. This is why I will not have doggy doors. 26-year-old, how do you say his name?

Kalin, C-A-E. You have too many vowels in your name, sir. Anyway, some dude, he broke into the home. Deputies were called for the report of a burglary. And then he climbed into his ex's bed. And they struggled. She hid him in the nose with her elbow. And then he left the same way he had come in through the large dog door.

He's been charged with burglary or assault with assault or battery. And I told Canaan break, I said, I said, I don't have a dog door. But if I did, maybe I would want like some AI facial recognition. And I would have like two robotic arms that would automatically descend, maybe with like, I don't know, MP5s or something and, you know, fully pointed at the dog door. So if it's not my dog, both of them.

How would it have? Like a snare. Since, you know, I'm not going to beg the government for NFA stuff. So, yeah, it'd be like that. I'd have enough to where it would just be like that. Also, if you're fitting through a doggy door, you're a small dude. They said it was a large dog door. I don't know what that means, what the measurements on that are, you know, I'm not like Bob the builder, but, you know.

But yeah, that's why I haven't wanted. Because criminals aren't necessarily came the healthiest for the smartest people. That's true. Yeah, I know. So let's see here. Okay, this blew my mind. I don't do,

I, I had a family member that took me to Disney World or Disneyland one time. I think I was at Disney World once for a work thing. But this Florida man, he says this is the average cost. When he took his family,

Florida man says that it was $1,400 for one day at Walt Disney World. I'm sorry, what? So let's break this down. Yeah, he said that it was like $1,400. Parking was $30. Tickets for his family to get into Hollywood Studios. And it's like a family for $974.

Five tickets and parking immediately, that's $1,000. And they even got the Florida resident discount. And they have one child under 10. Everything else, quick service meals in Disney Springs, any kind of snack or drink. Water and ice cream was $30. He had a pretzel and a beer that was $20. They said it was over $44 for quick service pizza and a drink. They said that Star Wars Coke was like $7.

I mean, just insane. And one of their restaurants for their dinner was like almost $300, ending at just like just under $1,400. And they said that they didn't even stay at one of the resort hotels. I love nothing that much to pay that kind of money. Right? No way. I mean, I don't know. And now remember how Disney was like, oh, Florida don't say gay. Well, they're building a resort in Abu Dhabi where you definitely can't say gay.

Are they going to have like a ride featuring, you know, we're going to throw the gays to death because they're gay. I mean, I'm just curious other. So $1,400. My jaw hit the floor. There is no way I would pay that. I could be a patrillionaire and I will not pay that. That is insane. I go to take a stand somewhere.

That's crazy. So a, where to start with this one? Well, we're almost out of time. I'll have to tell you about the Walmart worst robbery technique ever tomorrow. Recently, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis legalized gold and silver as acceptable currency, meaning that Floridians can now make transactions in gold and silver, thus creating an alternative to the U.S. dollar. So I guess all the inflation and national debt that's spiraling out of control, not to mention the recent credit down. grade for the United States has finally opened up all lawmakers' eyes. The writing has been on the wall for a long time, and it's time to protect yourself against the declining value of the dollar. And that's exactly why I partnered with Goldco, the top-rated precious metals company, to help you take a step towards protecting your financial future. And right now, you can get

a free 2025 gold and silver kit that breaks it all down for you. And if you qualify, you could receive unlimited bonus silver, real silver, match to your account, with a new silver, no taxes or penalties. It's a smart move that could help you feel more secure in what lies ahead. Visit danelikeskoll.com to get started. That's danelikeskoll.com and move forward with confidence. Hey, give us for two cents on this story. It's all systems go for a controversial new program in Michigan aimed at bringing down the Canada goose population. As the state prepares to round up and gas the geese to death, animal rights groups are calling foul over this and demanding answers. gassing geese so they think the best way to get their geese population under control

isn't to have hunters handle it you know maybe give give some i don't know like hunters out and get some licenses going you know increase the license i don't know no they're going to gas them that's so does the gas only work for just the geese is it just the geese gas gas gas? Because there's, now bear with me, in nature, there are other animals out there with the geese in nature. That's true. So is this a particular type of geese gas that only gas is geese? No, I think they were going to round them up and then gas them in a, like a chamber. I mean, they could hunt them because geese are tasty.

also they're migratory do Canada geese just hang around is that what they're having problems with? They're leaving because they probably want to get out of there because Mark Carney But they can't just wait till they fly away Like south

I don't know man They're just passing through their Canadian It's too close Yeah I don't know man I Are they not good eating? They said that there's a handful of lake Now it's like what

lake homeowners, lakefront homeowners that are upset with the population, I guess the population, and they want them exterminated for convenience. What? No, that's, that's the reason? Yeah. So people bought property lakefront and are upset at animals using that lake. Yeah. So it is, I was, they're going to, and then they're just going to take the dead.

geese to a landfill. That's Fox 2, Detroit that reported that. So this was the idea they landed on and said this is the one. They said that, no, it's an approved euthanasia method. They said they're making a mess on the sidewalks and they get in the way of golf swings.

I am literally being so honest right now. I am reading the story verbatim. It's the hot news state, Michigan, where we ass geese that get involved in your golf swing. I personally am not a fan of the geese

except for eating because they're jerks. Yeah, geese can be jerks. So, kind of an accompanying story to this. For whatever reason, geese hate me. You know, I have a problem with certain animals, right? Goats, chimpanzees.

I kicked a skunk once because I swear to you it hissed at me. In my defense, I was three. Do not do that. And I thought it was, I thought it was a cat that was going to attack me. I do kind of sort of hazily remember it. I was, again, like three or four. Anyway, but one time, oh, a sweet listener sent me a pair of pink sparkly shoelaces

because they heard my heart-wrenching story about how one day at the St. Louis Zoo, a goat ate the pink shoelaces off of my tennis shoes and I was heartbroken. Like literally ate them out, slurped them up like a noodle. It's crazy. I know. We did get tape. and just like tape my shoe on my foot. It was so weird.

I felt like a hobo. I was walking around the zoo for the rest of the day, like a hobo with a hobo foot. I don't even, it's crazy. And then I did tell you the story of when I got into, most of you heard this, the slap fight with the chimp, right? My neighbor that, yes,

they were affiliated with that Festus family that did that documentary. And I, it was a juvenile chimp in a diaper and it tried to like throw stuff at me from its diaper. diaper and I just, and it pinched me and I slapped it without knowing, you know, I was young that it could pull my face off. Anyway, you know, we've got an issue with seminos. geese for whatever reason, hate me. If I am at like a lake or, you know, pond or whatever and there's geese nearby,

I just got to leave because I don't even do anything. I'm just there existing. And the geese are like, and they don't like it. And they just come at me. They run at me. Every time, every single, without fail. Without fail. They will run at me and ignore the smaller children that are nearby. I don't know what it is. Dogs love me. Geese hate me because they're the cats of the air. Anyway, I don't know, man. It's just what they do. And I, but I don't want to gas them. I do not want to gas them. Because that is jerk, a jerk move. And also, I would rather eat them. Are they good eating? I'm not. I've had goose before. Canadian goose?

I mean, a goose is a goose, isn't it? Is it? No. I think there's different geese out there. I was going to make a joke. Because when I think goose, it's like the big old fluffy white one. They're not as big as swans, but they're geese. Because it got meat?

You can eat it. Canadian geese are not that. So I don't know if they're good eating or not. I'll eat it. I mean squirrel, though, so. The one thing I have to have. Haven't eat and won't is raccoon because it looks greasy. Yeah, I've never had that either.

My grandpa used to go raccoon hunting all the time. Yeah, I don't eat any little greasy marsupial bandit-looking things. I don't like those. I am, I mean, I'll eat most things, but I'm very selective still at the same time. If it's greasy and it's like an animal that would probably rob me, I'm not going to eat it. No, no stuff. So anyway, they said that they've been talking to these waterfowl experts. They said they want to, I mean, they've relocated geese before, but they said it's not sustainable to do that.

So they're going to gas them. They're migratory. What are you relocating? They're migratory. Yeah. By the way, this is what an expert, a water, I'm reading this, this is from Fox 2, Detroit, a waterfowl expert with the Michigan Duck and Rescue Sanctuary. This is pretty hardcore. I mean, it's thundering out there because the, the God doesn't.

like the story. Yeah. So this is what they said. They go, yeah, it's kind of a disgusting way of doing it. When they gas them, they're going to tell people that they're just going to fall asleep. Nothing is going to fall asleep. It's going to fight for 20, 30, 40 minutes until it dies. That's the direct quote.

Come on. I'm sending you this. I'm dropping the story. It's like this is the actual direct quote. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, go down there and check that. So, yeah, they don't, they're not going to fall asleep. They're going to die horribly, like after, you know, a while.

it's going to happen. Because they're being geese? Yeah. They're just there. That's so sad. Like, I would rather it be humanely harvested from nature via a hunter for me to eat or someone to eat. Are there no hungry people in Michigan? I mean...

It's like a wolf came up with this idea. The wolves are fine with them being gassed. I just... And they said that, you know, these are... It has to be a problematic site. Now the state of Michigan's like, oh, hold up because people are like, you're going to do what? So they're saying, now wait a minute, it's the last resort, everybody. And they're going to be problematic sites.

So see, it doesn't totally sound like they're just going to round them up and take them somewhere. It does that. It sounds like they're going to get a call-a-duty God gun and just blast some geese gas out in the atmosphere and just, you know, hope it doesn't hit anything else. What were the other resorts? If this is the last resort, what were the other resorts? What are the other resorts? Well, shoe didn't work. We tried poison for a couple months.

That didn't do anything. I mean, good Evans. So I've got a lot of questions about this. Like, why can't they, again, just, you know. Are they good eaten? I mean, it's a little gamey, but, you know. That's the question. If they're good eaten, then we need to think about something like that.

But they said they're nuisance geese. and everybody's been pushing back on it. And I think it just sounds dumb. So is that the new threshold for gassing things? They're nuisances? I mean, if we're going to roll with that, can we extend it to peoples? Because, you know.

No, we're not, no one's evolving to that. What are we saying? Like for people that have bad taste or wear, you know, high-wasted genes. Or think that, you know, yes, platform shoes don't make your feet look like Clydeals, women. Look what gassing.

geese has already got you thinking about. No, this is bad. Wrong. They said that some people see them as a lakeside pest. But yeah, it's basically the people who live by the lake. The fancy people who live by the lake that don't like the geese interfering with their golf swing. Killing all the fish? Like what are they, what's, what do they have against nature that nature existing in nature is enough to gas them? I don't know, but I just feel like there's other things that they could do maybe. I feel like they have not gotten to the last resort. They ought to feel lucky that the geese want to live there. I'm just, you know, like instead of being like, oh, these are nuisance animals, like, how nice is it that they want to be here with us? That's so sweet. But they're

not. They're being jerks about it. So yeah, gas and geese are partners that help bring you the program. It's the folks over at Keltec, the PR 57, chambered in 5-7, and it's one of the lightest and thinnest five-sevons that are out there. And with Keltec, Florida-based company, their stuff is made in the U.S. of A. And the PR-57, it's, I mean, like I said, 40% lighter with made possible by the rotary barrel that they use, it's rotary barrel pistol. And then also the top loading design that replaces traditional magazines with stripper clips for a slimmer carry profile and a 20 plus one capacity, inspired by real-world data and defensive needs. And the MSRP is only $399, making it very affordable, quickest and easiest field strip available. And it's made in America with American

labor and American parts and super new state, a great standard set in lightweight design. It's the new, well, somewhat new. It came out first of the year, PR 57 chambered N57, the rotary barrel pistol from Keltek. Learn more at Keltekweapons.com. performance, Caltech. That's K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com. Tell them, Dana sent you. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five.

So apparently bald dudes are bringing back the toupee. Will women get extensions? Man, let me tell you something. You don't let abroad make fun of you for wearing a toupee because these girls out here getting like five-foot-long extensions put up on their head. If they're not getting extensions, put up on their eyelashes. So you know what?

You don't get no heat for that. take that to the bank, but they are bringing it back. I would imagine, too, that they are much nicer than they were, like, when I was a kid. Because when I was a kid, it was very obvious that somebody had a toupee. So they said that this is a New York Post piece, and they said that men are bringing them back. I also thought dudes were doing, like, the hair plugs or whatever. Maybe, maybe not. But yeah, toupees are coming back.

They're coming back again. An ancient reptile footprint has upended theories about when animals evolved to live on land. There was a little short that Monty Python had one time where they took like this bone of something and fabricated it into a completely made up animal and put it in a museum. It was a little, one of their little cartoon breaks that they had for Monty Python. And it makes me, these kind of stories make me think of this every time. It's a 350 million year old fossil. And they said it shows characteristics similar to that of monitor lizards. And it's been in Australia, 350 million years ago. They said, just as when it emerged, but they think that animals developed the ability to live on land faster

than previously assumed. I actually don't really care about any of that. I mean, I think it's interesting, but does it matter? Oh, is it a billion years earlier or not? Does it change where we are right now? I don't know. You know, uh, chimpanzee, oh, this is really gross. Chimpanzees actually use leaves. It's gross, but not. They clean themselves. Like, that's their, that's nature's tissue for them. The leaves, it's nature's tissue. They've been studying them, the horse. horrible left wing rag that is called the Guardian said that they did this study on all of these chimpanzees and that's, have they

always done that or is that new? I would have, I mean, leaves have been around forever. What? The leaves have been around forever, so I imagine they've been doing it forever. But like them using them to actually groom themselves with a leaf. It's kind of, I don't know. It's interesting.

Air traffic control hotline between Pentagon and Reagan, Washington National Airport, that's been broken since 2020. I think that might be needed. They said that it's supposed to be for coordinating aircraft, and it hasn't worked since March of 2022. They were not aware that the direct line was broken

until a May 1st incident when a helicopter circled the Pentagon and caused two flights to abort landings. I feel like they need to get that hotline fixed. So wait a minute, Poot Booty Juice, when he was Secretary of Transportation, he didn't know that? He didn't do anything about it. He didn't do anything about it.

Sean Duffy gets in there and he's like, oh my gosh, what is happening? So he immediately remedies it. But what the hell was poop? Oh, that's right. Poot booty juice had just bought some children and was pretending that he had birthed them in the hospital when he took months off for maternity leave. That's right. That's right. The DOD also maintains the hotline, but the fact that you were not able to coordinate any of that air traffic and you had that issue happen.

That's pretty crazy. I read this when I first read this. I thought it said to fish cemetery. And I said what? a Fisher's Cemetery employee He got charged because he dug up a grave For a gold ring Sounds like an old

Tales from the Cripp story Seth Davidson 24 told police that he buried An urn with a gold ring in it And couldn't stop thinking about it And so this is an Indianapolis He apparently dug it up He graved robbed We don't do that anymore

We don't grave rob. We haven't done that since Well, hell I don't know At least 100 years We don't grave rob anymore but not this guy. There were reports of a suspicious car in the area and that's what tipped off police to find him. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash here with you. It's fraye. Happy Friere to you. I want to tell you about Long Island Man because we've been talking so much about Maryland Man, that innocent Maryland dad who doesn't happen to be like a woman beating human

trafficking gangbanger, but whatever. Let me tell you about Long Island Man. This is the New York Post. This is a headline that's a big mouthful. War criminal who helped Orkirk straight Rwandan genocide hid out as Long Island beekeeper for decades after lying on his immigration documents. Hmm. And he's from, and this was in, this was in Long Island. So he's a literal convicted Rwandan genocide war criminal. He was a little beekeeper.

Didn't I see a movie? Something like this with Jason Statham. Sidebar. total sidebar pause the movie i think it was called beekeeper i'm looking at cane i think it was called beekeeper and it was jason statham and it was a great movie there was no character development it was just hi we're here the plot is ass kicking that's called the beekeeper that's called the last year i watched that and it was a great movie i liked did you see have you seen it i have not although i do like jason statham i need to check this out i think there's another movie that's

out of his right now steve said it he didn't know we were playing madlibs today. Well, that's in more than one way. That headline was mad-libbing. Yeah, it was absolutely mad-libbing. So this dude was, he's a beekeeper. Well, Izzy, though, he acted like a beekeeper, and he was in Long Island for 20 years. He lied on all of his immigration papers about his past. Faustin, not going to say this name right.

Kane, NSA, B-U-M-U-K-U-N-Z-I. That sounds right. the way you said it. Nizabamku. Yeah. Nizabamu. I think you have. Yeah, you had to write the first time, I think I think.

65. Came to the U.S. in 2004, blight on all of his green cards, his naturalization papers. He said he didn't have any part in the 1994 Rwandan genocide. He even did media interviews about his refugee status. And he developed connections with wealthy Hamptonites, wealthy progressive, you know, people in the Hamptons.

they freaks. And then he was, he, they apparently paid his bond, $250,000 bond after he was arrested so he could continue caring for bees. Hmm. Because he was a beekeeper. I guess they weren't his bees. He was carrying for someone else's bees. Nizabimisu Kizu Kizzi, who was a beekeeper in his native country.

He continued it here. He was also what they call a sector counselor in when he was in Rwanda. He literally directed the killings and rapes and participated in the violence against the Tutsis in Cabritsi during the 100-day genocide that was carried, the ethnic cleansing that was carried out. Nizibuzu Kibchizu Kizzi also assured folks during public meetings when he was in Rwanda that they would be protected and then private meetings. He told the, he would tell the opposing factions that he was going to kill the other ethnic group. He set up roadblocks to stop them from fleeing. I mean, it's just horrific. And one massacre, apparently he told one armed faction to kill a group of a different faction that were in an administrative office. And he apparently also beat some person to death by clubbing them in the head. So that's this guy. He encouraged people, he encouraged the factions to rape the women as a genocidal tool, all of this. And he was there in Long Island forever, 20 years. And he also traveled abroad. He was, went to Ivory Coast. He was in Togo just recently in March. He was in Madagascar.

He, I mean, he lived in the Ivory Coast for a decade prior to him coming to the United States. So he's traveled for, he's been a fugitive forever. How are you literally a guy directing rape as a tool of war, a weapon of war in Rwanda? And yet you're able to come here and live as a beekeeper of all places in Long Island. Right? Isn't that weird? It's weird. That no one that, that didn't. didn't tip anybody off. No one's like, hmm, would you say your past was again? It's a little odd. They approved his green card in 2007 after he explicitly denied ever engaging in genocide and he denied ever committing a crime of moral turpitude. He applied to become a citizen in 2016. It's been pending ever since. They could deport him if they convict him. Interpol Rwanda issued a notice that he's wanted for genocidal crimes in 2016. His client's, says, no, no, he's a victim. He's a law-abiding beekeeper and a gardener. Simple gardener. He was a victim.

But there are tons of witnesses who've all given statements to authorities that, yeah, we watched him beat a guy to death in the head. Yeah, we literally watched him, like, help hold women captive so they could be raped as a weapon of war. All of these people are coming out saying this. So, I don't know. He's just a Long Island dad, Kane. guys he's a Long Island dad gotta think of the bees keeps bees but that beekeeper movie though it is a great movie I'm not kidding you I don't know anything about the guys past

I don't think they ever got into that it's a plot hole that nobody cares about because if I watch a Jason Statham movie I'm not watching to see his Oscar level acting okay I'm not watching to see that although he is good and Oscar level he's a great actor but I'm not watching him to see a Ralph Fine's performance

okay I'm watching him because I believe it when he punches people to death and that's what I want to see sometimes I just want a movie where the guy comes out and all you know about his character he just goes I'm the good guy I'm gonna plate this bad guy he death and then he does it you're like yay that's a great movie that's what I like I'm a simple person you know I don't need all the other garbage with it just you know show me that so this is just a just a simple Long Island beekeeper guys. I wonder if there were signs. I mean that he literally was a general and a Rwandan genocide. That's a pretty particular skill set. Were there signs? Just feel like this is going to be a movie. It ought to be. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast.

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