The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Ground Control To Major Tom

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

There are two US astronauts still STUCK in space. Meanwhile, Climate activists spray Stonehenge with orange paint.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Byrnahttps://byrna.com/danaVisit today for 10% off and get the protection you need.  Cozy Earthhttps://cozyearth.com/danaUse code DANA to save up to 40% today at cozyearth.com/danaGoldcohttps://danalikesgold.comGet your free Gold Kit from GoldCo today.Hillsdalehttps://danaforhillsdale.comWatch a portrayal of Thomas Jefferson reflecting on the Declaration of Independence in one of his final letters and get your free commemorative copy of the Declaration of Independence today.KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news.Lumenhttps://lumen.me/DANASHOWVisit lumen.me/danashow today for 15% off your purchase.  Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet a free month of service with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.

Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. So a man who is accused of throwing feces at a Florida synagogue is appearing in court in Broward County. Jeffrey Fleming, 39, faces charges of stalking, hate crimes, and literally throwing human waste at a synagogue. his attorney says his client's confused and he wants a mental health examination. Oh, and they recorded the feces stuff on video. Oh my gosh.

That's so gross. And yeah, he's, I don't know. That's one of the most unsanitary ways to protest that I can imagine. Anyway, he apparently was harassing people as they came out of the synagogue and all kinds of stuff and trying to get in their faces. So he seems like a dangerous, hateful person. but he appeared in court this morning. A Florida man landed a helicopter on birds, a bird nesting site in Igmont Key. Florida Fish and Wildlife are not happy, according to WFLA.

This is a Bradenton man. So he had, he landed his helicopter apparently right on a nesting site. And the witnesses told officials the female got out, took a few photos, hop back in and they took off. They wanted to apparently take pictures of the. birds, so they landed on their nest. And apparently all these birds had to flee the nest, because there's a chopper that landed on it. That doesn't seem like the smartest way to go about that. Like you couldn't have approached it from the water. You know, you had to take a chopper to, this is dumb. Why do people do dumb stuff? Like, stop. Ooh. This, uh, man-eating monster

crocodiles have been found in Florida. So they got crocodiles and alligators in Florida, by the way, you know this, right? Now they said the presence of Nile crocodiles have been confirmed in the state now. University of Florida, like if it wasn't already terrifying, University of Florida has a news release. They said, quote, man eaters that can grow to 18 feet long and weigh as much as a small car have been found in Florida, they've conducted DNA analysis of crocodiles going back to the year 2000 and made their determination. They think there's a ton out there. They found juveniles in South Florida in the Everglades.

They even found a juvenile relaxing on a house porch in Miami. These are the Nile Crocodiles. And wow, that's horrible. They said that they eat everything. Zebras or Zebra, if you're British, small hippos, two humans in sub-Saharan Africa. And they said that Nile crocodiles specifically were responsible for at least 480 attacks on people, 123 fatalities in a four-year span in Africa alone. that's crazy.

Can you imagine them getting that big in Florida? Now, think of like the attacks just in four years in Africa, and then that's kind of terrifying, isn't it? They think it's the pet trade. They think it's the illegal pet trade. That's like the most likely. I think we're scared. We're, you know, on the food chain, we're maybe knocked down a link or two. Yeah.

I mean, you know, we live by a lake called Great Pine Lake. And there's, I don't, I get weird, like with. lakes that gators can be in. Like if a gator can't be in there, I'm okay with your lake. But if a gator could potentially be in the lake, I'm not okay with it. You know what I mean? I don't know what's coming up there. Gator could be coming up from the water and eat me.

I don't know. It's creepy. Like I cannot get in this lake because I'm terrified of the gators. And there's literally somebody went jogging. They took video of a gator on the jogging path. And it looked like an eight foot long gaiters. Like an eight foot long gator on the trail where they were jogging. And they stopped and they recorded the footage.

They put it up on Facebook on like, the town Facebook. That's a little terrifying. It was a big gator. I'm like, how does it? What in the world? And just chilling, chilling there by the jogging path, you know, going to get a snack. Just saying, and that's a run away in a zigzag pattern. Yeah, zigzag, zigzag. That should be like your slogan if you're in Florida. Zigzag. Turbocharging your metabolism has never been simpler thanks to the innovative handheld metabolic coach Lumen. This revolutionary device empowers you to optimize your metabolism efficiently and effortlessly. And with Lumen, you can master the strategies to keep your metabolism humming at its best. Now, Lumen is a breath-based metabolic tracker.

You breathe into the Lumen at the start of your day to get a metabolism snapshot and a personalized nutrition plan. And then the app tells you if you're burning fat or carbs. You can get customized tips for nutrition, workouts, sleep, stress. Lumen helps you to know with real data what you're, body needs. Now, your metabolism is your body's rocket engine. It powers everything that you do. And with Lumen, you can expect easier weight management, balanced energy, fitness gains, and find it easier to go to sleep. So if you want to take the next step in improving your health, visit lumen.combe. And get 15% off of your Lumen. That's L-U-M-E-S-D-A-S-D-Show. One word for 15% off your purchase. That's Lumen.comme slash Dana Show.

Thanks to Lumen for sponsoring this episode. Have you seen, what's the, give me a moment, sorry, I just forgot the name of the show. It's a series that we, it's called Constellation. And it is on Apple TV. It's very good. And the first couple of episodes are super creepy. I don't want to give too much away.

Numi Rapay stars in it. She was in the first, oh my gosh she was the first Elizabeth Salander before the one chick Rooney Mara was did the U.S. version but Numi Rapay, she was also in Prometheus, she's been in a ton of different movies, she's a really good actress. She stars in this in this film or in this series, it's a series and Constellation is about

the, you know, ISS is about the International Space Station and it gets into quantum physics and really crazy stuff. It's brilliantly done. It's a very good series and it's super creepy. And the reality of this story to me is very similar to the beginning in some respects of Constellation, that series. So two U.S. astronauts are stuck in space. They're stuck in space. They're stuck in space. Two U.S. astronauts, Sunita William, Sunni, and Barry Wilmore, have spent the better part of a month at the ISS because they had a problem with Boeing Starliner.

Of course they did. Who is there? They need crisis management of Boeing. Oh my gosh. So they're Starliner spacecraft with two astronauts on board. They're stuck in space. It started as an eight-day mission. Now they're going to be there for a month. And they have no return date. None. They have no idea when they're going to be able to get back to Earth. They said with Boeing, they adjusted the return of the Starliner crew flight test until after two plane spacewalks, Monday the 24th, and the second one's going to be on July 2nd. They do not have a date for return. They're trying to

evaluate opportunities after the spacewalks. And they said, well, the crew is not pressed for time to leave. They have plenty of supplies in orbit, and the station's schedule is relatively open through mid-August. Now, they went into space on June 5th from Kate Canaveral. And it was a year behind schedule, a billion and a half over budget. And they had problems before the initial launch with like helium leaks and thrusters and all kinds of stuff. And they said that everything was, you know, not a concern for the return mission. But now they said four of the five thrusters that were previously shutting down, they're operating normally. One out of the, one is offline.

And they can't get anybody back. And they said they're trying to figure out how to, they're stranded. That's kind of freaky. I don't care if you, how many supplies you have. you know you you it's creepy to be stranded in space so people are asking could Elon Musk and SpaceX actually go and do it because you've had you know ISS you've had people living up there routinely from several like a handful of nations since you know for the past what 24 years and you have the ISS that that is in Earth's orbit goes about 17,500 miles per hour because

ISS you know they said they've extended it already that was supposed to shut down on 2030 I don't know but they've got they've NASA gave Space X an $843 million contract to build a vehicle that's going to bring the ISS out of its orbit of Earth when it's operating lifespan in so they've already had that project going so now they're one of one. wondering, would they, would space X actually be able to design and get an aircraft up there, dock in the ISS? Like, can they get up there and get these people back? Oh, my gosh. So not only, he's got a deorbit ISS and maybe could they also get these people home? Can they, can they bring these American astronauts home? There's all kinds of problems. I like that they're having to rely on

privatization, you know, quasi-privatization to bring it out. But they said that, apparently that Starliner up there is not safely operational. They said that they could maybe get a ride with the dragon spacecraft because apparently SpaceX's dragon craft is attached to the ISS but it's on the opposite side of the station and they're trying to kind of figure all this stuff out how that would work. Would you, I mean, even if you have enough supplies, isn't that kind of a mind job to be trapped up in space? Yeah, to know that you're trapped there and that you don't necessarily have a plan of action

to get back? Yeah. Yeah. A little unnerving. Yeah. A little bit. little unnerving, just a little bit. I didn't like the fact that we had hitch rides on Russian rockets there for a while to get up there to the ISS.

I don't know. I just, we shouldn't have any catastrophes like this. Like, how did we go from being the pioneers of space to now we got people stranded up there? But they are going to rely on us to deorbit ISS when it ceases to, you know, goes past its lifespan. Steve's going, where's our space force? They're building. They've got to start somewhere. Isn't that what that whole department was created for, stuff like this? Yeah, we got NASA.

Like, Space Force, I think, is more about defense, where this is more about exploration. But I agree with you. I think that it has to work, you know, congruently. Because I do think that space exploration is also a part of national security. Definitely, especially when you can have space weapons and all kinds of stuff that, you know, I mean, there's all the stuff that happens in Star Trek and, Star Wars and everything else ends up becoming a reality here for the U.S. or for Earth.

But I know our space, the thing that sucks about space is that we're all here way too early to like, really like, you know, go, you know, all out and enjoy it. And so, you know, we have a space force. We got cool uniforms and, you know, yeah, space force. It sounds pretty cool. You think you're fighting Martians, but we're not there yet. Our partners over at Keltec, the P-15.

It's an awesome 9-millimeter striker fire pistol. This is like the lightest, double stack 9 millimeter on the market. I have it. There's the polymer version and the metal version. The metal version is like a James Bond gun. It has a wood grip, textured grips, wood panel texture grips on the metal frame. It's really, it's a classy looking gun. Comes to two mag.

Standard 15 round, minimal pinky extension, flush fit, double stack mag that holds 12 rounds as well. Fully adjustable fiber optic 2. Rear. You also have a Tritium in fiber optic front site. And Lifetime Warrant, Decompact, ideal for every day. Conceal, carry, self-rength. defense and it's from Keltec, the inventors of the micro compact pistol category. And again, everything quality made right here in the U.S. of A. The 9mm packs a punch, but you're not

losing your stopping power and it's slim and easily concealable. To learn more about it, visit Keltakweapons.com. That's KELTECWeapons.com. The P-15 from Keltec, tell him Dana sent you. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. Another horrific border story. One of the illegal immigrants who shot a female police officer and was set to be deported to Venezuela, the judge had spared him. This guy who had shot an officer in Texas, Jorge Gutierrez, he had illegally crossed him through Eagle Pass. This was back in November of last year, along with like 600 other illegal entrance. And at the time, they were processing him for expedited removal.

So he took his case to an asylum officer and claiming that he feared persecution if he was deported back to Venezuela. And the officer rejected his claim, processed him forward. But then he asked to make his claim before a judge who vacated his order and let the case continue. And now the man has killed a police officer in San Antonio. That's the consequence of letting this guy go through, not vetting people who are entering the country legally. So that immigration judge, I think, is just as responsible as this guy. And they need to be treated as such. They need to, there need to be serious consequences for this.

Just nonsense. Lawlessness. A crazy swarm of dragonflies has hit Rhode Island Beach. A Rhode Island Beach. Aren't they like they eat mosquitoes and all that? So they're good, right? But they said that there's tons of video of them. People have been running for covering, hiding under blankets, and screaming because why?

They're not going to hurt you. They're dragonflies. Good heavens. has a goat plague problem. Yeah, apparently they have a goat plague and a goat plague outbreak. They said that they now have nationwide restrictions for goat and sheep to combat a deadly viral outbreak. That's been a blow to their livestock industry. Kane's like, oh my God, I know, right?

I know, I know, I know. D.C. has seen more divorces and custody battles over political ideologies. They said that it's so partisan that they have seen a huge increase in, uh, divorces and then also battles over who's getting the kids because of politics. That's from Axios. Stay with this. We got a lot more in store, the Olympics and culture. Protesting oil. I'm wearing shoes made with oil. I have products that are made with oil. I'm literally holding canisters that are made of oil. I mean, so the stop oil people, these are these are stop oil protesters. dorks who were spraying Stonehenge because of oil.

They released clouds of paint against several huge stones. Because people were coming there for, I guess, summer solstice or something. One of the dudes, one of these people is a, I'm not making this up. A bird watcher. It's a youth representative. at the British Trust for Oryntology. What did you get your degree in? Bird watching.

And then, of course, they had to take pictures of themselves after they did it. Because, I mean, does activism really count if you don't post it on Insta? Do you guys see my activism today? Just out there like activism, mean. Posting it on Insta. What?

On TikTok. So, does it exist if you don't post about it? I don't know. They took pictures of themselves posing in front of Stonehenge with the orange paint. And they wore just stop oil. And they had canisters made with oil. I mean, literally everything that they're doing is betrayed by the fact that they needed petroleum to do it. So let me get this straight.

You cannot, in any way, deface paint on a road with a tire mark. I mean, again, on the road. The tire mark. But this, spray painting, whatever, polluting the air, spray painting these Stonehenge historical stones with paint, that's okay. That's all right to do. But don't get a tire mark on the road when there's a rainbow flag. Can I just point out that these individuals were carrying a canister that had a sealant on it?

What was the sealant made from? Petroleum. That's a shame. And it involved chemicals made of petroleum. Oh, that hurts. there using vehicles, whether it's EV or combustion engine, that require petroleum. They also, one of them had glasses, eyeglasses made with petroleum. They traveled to Stonehenge on asphalt made with petroleum.

I mean, where, do you want me to keep going? Oh, we could. One of them wore a belt made with petroleum. Tires on the vehicle. Made with petroleum. The phone, they were recording. Made with petroleum. Yeah.

Their shoelace aglitz. You know what the aglet is? It's the little plastic thing at the end of the shoelace made with petroleum. Yeah. And, I mean, do you want me to keep going because I literally could do this? If I was like anti-something, I wouldn't surround myself with it. Yeah. That's like saying that you're protesting against chicken while eating delicious chicken.

You should be against this. M-mm-g-m-m-m-m. They're literally using petroleum while protesting. it. So make yourself honest and just do without all those things. But we're like activism mean. And I love how one of the people was screaming at them, you daddy scum. It's the meanest they could get.

You daddy scum. Goodness. But yeah, and I'm like seeing pictures of these people all wearing stuff that you made patrol because they have tons of photos of themselves on their social media page. they made the druids mad there's a video of like is he an actual druid i thought they were like real scary folk druids weren't scary isn't what the romans said like they scared the hell out of the romans when they went out there they're like oh my gosh there's a druid who was real mad yelling at him just saying the romans were a little nervous about the druids just saying so maybe you know

don't bring your insta activism mean to the druids i'm just saying i don't let let they're not harm it. The people who go up there and do the solstice stuff, they're not harming anyone. I don't even think they flatten the grass. I think they comb it back up after they leave. I'm just saying I mean, I feel like they're doing more for the environment than the just stop oil people who are slinging paint everywhere.

Like Jackson Pollock activism. Oh my gosh. And they're holding, I kid you not, a shiny plastic sign that says just stop oil. Guess what that sign's made of? Petroleum. Oh, man. Wow. These people are morons.

It makes me want to use more oil. Every time I see them do this, I want to go out and use more of it. Ooh, I like that. Do you like that? I like that idea. I just, I want to go and use more of it. You make me want to be more reckless with my stewardship. I mean, that's, we'll just hold the earth hostage.

We'll just do it like this. Oh my gosh. But they said that they were trying to get the canister off the protesters. And then the protesters sat down after they said, but I don't, why target Stonehenge. Like, aren't those people up there hippies? I don't know. Literally, I have no clue.

They just seem like it, you know. Some of them wear a lot of tweeds, so maybe not. But they don't really hurt nobody. They're up there with, like, nature and stuff. Wouldn't those people be people that you might find a natural alliance with? So why are you going to go up there and, like, you know, we in their Cheerios. Why are you doing this? So they kept saying that it was orange cornflower in a canister that has chemical

goals and sealant in it. You idiots. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.