The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Habemus Papam!!
Episode Date: May 8, 2025Dana reacts to the Vatican announcing Robert Prevost as the first American pope in history. Meanwhile, a Nova Scotia police chief started off with a land acknowledgment at a press conference about two... missing Nova Scotia children. Thank you for supporting our sponsors that make The Dana Show possible…All Family Pharmacyhttps://AllFamilyPharmacy.com/DanaCode Dana10 for 10% off your entire orderBeamhttp://shopbeam.com/DanashowSleep like never before—Beam has improved over 17.5 million nights of rest. Try it now with code Danashow for 40% off.Home Title Lockhttps://hometitlelock.com/danaProtect your home! Get a FREE title history report + 14 days of coverage with code DANA. Check out the Million Dollar TripleLock—terms apply.Byrnahttps://byrna.com/danaVisit Byrna and check out the New Byrna CL during their Mother’s Day Promotion. Order by May 11th for your FREE Kinetic Projectiles with purchase. A $49.99 value. Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/DanaDana’s personal cell phone provider is Patriot Mobile. Get a FREE MONTH of service code DANAHumanNhttps://humann.comSupport your metabolism and healthy blood sugar levels with Superberine by HumanN. Find it now at your local Sam’s Club next to SuperBeets Heart Chews. KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSee the third generation of the iconic SUB2000 and the NEW PS57 - Keltec Innovation & Performance at its bestRelief Factorhttps://relieffactor.comTurn the clock back on pain with Relief Factor. Get their 3-week Relief Factor Quick Start for only $19.95 today! Goldcohttps://DanaLikesGold.com My personal gold company - get your GoldCo 2025 Gold & Silver Kit. PLUS, you could qualify for up to 10% in BONUS silver
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Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec.
It's his life mission to make bad decisions.
It's time for Florida Man.
Don't do this. Yellowstone National Park, a Florida man was injured when he was gored by a bison, said the National Park Service.
This is the first reported incident of a person injured by a bison in Yelston this year.
and it only, Parking ain't been open for two weeks.
And immediately somebody's out there getting gourd.
They said, and guess why?
Do you think it was because he was minding a respectful distance from the bison?
No.
No, he wanted to get up and close and personal with it.
So he got minor injuries, was treated by emergency medical personnel.
You're told to keep, in fact, Yellowstone requires that you keep 25 yards away from the animals up there
and 100 yards away from bears and wolves, 25 from all large animals, 100 yards from bears
wolves. And bison have injured more people in Yellowstone than any other animal. They're not
aggressive, but when people get up in their faces, yeah, nobody likes that, not even me. I'd goar
you too if I had horns. And then in May 2024, a dude kicked a bison in the leg. And guess what?
It kicked him back and injured him. And then he got arrested and jailed because he kicked a bison.
Yeah, just don't be a moron and don't like try to go up and get a selfie with it. And everything's
cool, right? It's so simple. I mean, this is not hard. If a kid tells you that there's somebody in
their closet. Maybe just don't disregard it. Like if you're this kid. A Florida man was arrested because
he was hiding in a kid's bedroom closet. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. This Florida man, he ran away from law
enforcement, fled into a home and hidden a kid's bedroom closet. Liberty County Sheriff Robert Arnold
deputies got a call on Tuesday about a suspicious person. The guy identified as Bobby McKinsey.
He took off on a four-wheeler and ditched it and ran into a house. And they, yeah, they found him
hiding in a child's bedroom closet.
And the individuals who called it in, they said thank you to them.
The guy had a warrant out for aggravated assault.
He also had, oh gosh, he hid a bag containing a bunch of meth and all kinds of drug paraphernalia under the kid's bed.
Man, oh man, I'm telling you.
The Florida man got pulled over and then led police on a foot chase.
After they caught him, they laughed and said, you thought you were Usain Bolt.
Yeah, well, that's funny.
it is. They let him on a, he led cops on a foot chase through Daytona Beach. Zavir McCall,
you don't need to have an apostrophe after the X. Okay, there's literally no need because the name is,
okay, I can't even do this story. The name is X, A, V, I, E, R. The apostrophe is there to symbol,
symbolize the absence of a vowel and yet connect the word. But it's XA, Zavier, and that's how it's
spelled. You don't need an apostrophe to make your cheap, broke ass look fancy. Stop it. That's so stupid.
stupid. Who named you? Your mother ought to be arrested because she's dumb. They could not provide,
who does the name like this? That's like having your name Amber and an apostrophe after the A and between
the A and M. Shut up. They could not provide Daytona Zavier McCall with an apostrophe, could not provide
Daytona Beach officers with his license. He said he was in his grandma's vehicle. They asked him to
get off. He took off. And they were able to catch him, cornered him, and take him into custody. And
He's in the pokey now.
So, yeah, they go, you're not supposed to be breathing like that from a short little run, dude.
So clearly his cardio was bad.
I love the body cam footage when they're chasing him, too.
Wanched under here.
This guy was not getting far.
And the cops were like, dude, you're younger than us.
You should be faster than this.
And one of them said that the dude smoked too much.
And that's why he didn't have good blood circulation or cardio.
He also thought his grandma's car.
All the way.
Can I just keep this footage going?
Doesn't it look like the cop running?
his arms are just crazy.
He's like one of those blow-up dolls outside of a car dealership.
Like, his arms just look mad when he's running.
Let's see here.
Oh, by the way, our bison story came from Florida man Keith.
Or no, listener Keith.
Our Florida man bison story came from listener Keith.
So thank you from that.
Let's see.
Drunk Florida man crashes is Tesla.
This is a village's story.
It's a village's story.
A village's story.
A villager.
A villager.
Minecraft, crashed his Tesla in a roundabout. Of course he did. And then when he, when police came,
he made up a fictional girlfriend and said, no, it's, yeah, Stacey, my girlfriend, Stacy. He literally
made up a whole woman and fabricated a name and told police that Stacey crushed his Tesla and ran
away. I know. And so the man, after he crashed the roundabout, he flooded the village of Hawkins.
and they found 63-year-old Jeffrey Treadwell
and matched descriptions.
He began blaming his girlfriend.
He said, Stacey did it.
Stacey ran away after she crashed into the roundabout.
And he goes, it's a girl I met in Brownwood.
Stacey's her name.
And he was drinking, I mean, clearly.
And they concluded that Stacey was completely made up.
So they booked him in Sumter County Detention Center
and he was released on $1,100 bond.
Yeah, that's not, can you imagine?
Yeah, it was a.
Stacy that did it. Yeah, I'm going to start using that excuse. I didn't do it. Stacy did it.
Stacy also crashed that car in that roundabout down there, Florida. Do you hear about that?
Do you know what Stacy did? That flusie.
But Stacy's mom's got to do that.
Yeah, man, she's a flusie. They're all flusies. Stacey Sr. and Stacey Jr., flusies.
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So we got the new pope announced.
The new pope is out.
Have they said the name yet?
Is it decoldest to ever do it?
It is not.
And it's not Cardinal Sarah, which I was kind of hoping for.
It's not Cardinal Sarah either.
The new pope is out.
The new pope.
And he's out that they announced.
And then he's going to give his blessing to the assembled.
The new pope emerges.
He dresses in his papal vestments.
Gets out.
And he's not giving his blessing to the assembled masses.
And of course, it's in Latin, so, you know, you Latin speakers.
But my name is, my Pope name pick is DeColdus to ever do it.
I know that they're probably not going to do that.
But we'll see.
But out there on the, I will say, man, the pageantry and the theater of it is fabulous.
It's very fabulous.
So they have announced the new pope, and they'll have the name out, giving the first blessing.
and so it looks like is it Pope Leo?
Are they going to give him their Twitter password for the Twitter account?
We're following all this live just like you all are.
And the new Pope being announced, Cardinal Prevost.
And that is that is the, and he's been in Latin America.
So he's been in like Central South America most of his time.
And so that's the, that is the Cardinal who, who, who.
was elected, who was selected as Pope. But wow, is this an American Pope? That would be interesting,
because that's never happened before, right? There's never been an American Pope. The Pope is an American.
Wow. That's pretty significant. So it's Pope Leo is going to be the new Pope's name. Pope Leo.
Kind of like the way that sounds. Although Piazza Bala was still kind of a kind of a
favorite. I got to say, that was still kind of a favorite. But apparently it's an American Pope. That's
pretty significant. So if you're just joining us, we are covering the selection of the new Pope. And like I said,
one of the reasons why I like watching this is I go back to the time of Reagan and Thatcher and Pope John
Paul and the trifecta that worked together to help end the scourge of communism.
And I, you know, when you're living it at the moment, I think it's a lot harder to do this inventory.
But when you look back in history, it's pretty significant, don't you think?
The, I think it's incredibly significant.
The, um, uh, all these people that are, that come together at this one particular time.
And I just find that incredibly fascinating.
The assembled, the assembled, uh, faith.
there in St. Peter Square. So, yeah, see, and we're getting all of this stuff, too. We'll bring
as we get it. I mean, you know, it's live. We don't have a newsroom. So we're, we're following along just
like you all are, but it looks out Pope Leo's the name. And if that's an American Pope, that is very
unusual, because I don't think that there has, there hasn't been an American Pope before.
From Chicago. From Chicago. Very, very interesting. So Prevost is from Chicago. And it's now,
and the name that he has taken is
Pope Leo.
Wow, from the Americas.
And a lot of,
and I think this guy was in contention.
A friend of mine says he was in contention,
but a lot of people were downplaying it
for the simple fact that he is American.
And a lot of people were thinking,
you're not going to have an American pope.
Wow, that is incredibly significant.
So that's all been announced.
An American cardinal
is the one who was chosen,
him. He spent a lot of time, Latin America, South America, really, in Peru. Apparently,
Perloreen, CBS, holds nationalities in the U.S. and Peru. And that's where there's been,
it's interesting in the, what, maybe 25 to 30 years, there was a significant increase,
actually in the last 50 years, there was an increase in Catholicism, practicing Catholics in
Central and South America, South America,
particularly, but then it started waning. And then with the new generation, Gen Z, there's an uptick again.
And it's an uptick not just in Latin American countries, but kind of around the world. There's, it's that, there's something about that generation. And I think they got so far removed from any kind of, maybe structure, religious structure,
within the practice or practice of religion
that now more and more
are going to church and they're
living faith again.
Yeah, we were kind of partial Cardinal Sarah
because that man does not hold back on quotes.
He was one year, he's one year away
from being eligible to vote
or for being ineligible to vote for Pope
because they think they stop allowing you to vote for Pope
if you're 80 and I think Cardinal Sarah is like 79.
And then you have Piazza Bala, who was the other one that was a lot of people were warming too.
Two very conservative.
So we're going to talk more about this.
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Tell them Dana sent you.
And now, all of the news you would probably miss.
It's time for Dana's Quick 5.
The St. Louis man was arrested after sitting naked in the St. Louis Terminal Airport.
Do they ever remove the plywood from the windows from that tornado some years ago?
I asked them that three years after the tornado hit and Lambert, the official X account went at me.
They hire the best.
The St. Louis County Circuit judge signed an arrest warrant for a guy who sat naked inside of the airport terminal.
A probable cause statement.
It happened on April 25th Terminal 1.
the guy's named Darius Walker.
He attempted to cover himself when somebody approached.
He was sitting in the terminal chair, belt unbuckled.
So it sounds like he had clothes.
If his belt was unbuckled, maybe the people at Fox 2 now,
maybe they could write a decent story that clarifies this
before they finalize a headline.
That would be super helpful for people trying to share the news.
Meanwhile, let's see if the New York Post did one better.
A seven-year-old boy drove his little sister nine miles in his mom's SUV.
to get a McDonald's happy meal.
That's a good big brother.
Wait, no, it's not.
Stop.
You're seven years old.
You can't be driving a car.
He drove his sister nine miles,
his little baby sister.
And the mom was shocked.
She goes, he's probably grounded
for the rest of his life.
They were in Utah.
And it was 8 a.m.
And police were called.
They were alerted to a reckless driver.
And the SUV did not come to a stop
until they hit a parking strip.
And they found a 7-year-old
and a 5-year-old inside on Skathed.
And they made it 9 miles
from their home cash in hand to buy happy meals.
That's going to be a story
they're going to tell for the rest of their lives. Thankfully
nobody was hurt. But can I
just ask, how in the hell you, mom, did not
know that your kids had taken the car and driven
nine miles away when they're seven and five
years old? Oh, I can't be
judgmental. Yes, because I've had two kids
like that separated, that age
distance. I think I would know if my kids
took my car and drove to
McDonald's. So, I don't know.
Like, what was happening in that house?
I mean, watch your kids. Let's see.
This AI of dead Arizona road rage victim addresses killer in court.
They used this in court.
A clip of a guy who was killed in 2021 said, I believe, in forgiveness after his sister fed an AI model videos of him.
And they used it in court.
I don't like that at all.
And that should not, I don't think that should be allowed.
That is creepy.
And that is really creepy.
I know and how
No no no no no no no no no
I don't I don't know
We got a couple headlines in here repeatedly
Let's see going back up
This
The
A tourist was bitten by a crocodile
While taking a selfie at a zoo
Because he thought the animal was fake
Well in his defense
They do say very still
They do
He was 29 years old
But his problem was that
he literally climbed into the enclosure.
And he was promptly bitten by a female crocodile.
He thought it was fake.
And so he climbed into the enclosure to get a photo with it.
But again, it was fake.
The zookeeper had to go in and hit the crocodile in the head to get her to open her mouth.
And he got more than 50 stitches for his injuries.
And I hope that they build him for any injuries to the crocodile since he climbed into the enclosure.
Goodness.
Good afternoon.
Sorry.
Good afternoon.
I am Corporal Carly McCann, provincial public information officer for the Nova Scotia RCMP.
Thank you all for being here today.
Hello, I'm just the capital of Carly McCann,
a general of information public for the GERCLA in New Calais.
Merci de your presence today.
First, I acknowledge that we are in Migmoggi,
the traditional and unseeded ancestral territory of the MiGMA people.
I also recognize that African Nova Scotians are a distinct people
whose histories, legacies, and contributions have enriched that part of Migmoggi,
known as Nova Scotia for over 400 years.
This is the equivalent of throwing the virgin in the volcano to appease the fire gods.
That's exactly what that is.
So that's the police.
They were holding a press conference on missing kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They were holding a press conference on two missing kids.
And they started off with a land acknowledgement.
Shut up.
I don't care what stupid land you're on.
That's so dumb.
You're talking about missing kids.
First, we can't get started until we acknowledge that we're on the missing lands
of the Lilliputian people.
And we have to thank the Lilliputians
for allowing us to have this press conference here
before we start talking about the missing kids,
which are actually not as important
as acknowledging the Lilliputians.
That's how dumb this sounds.
You're talking about missing kids, like little kids,
a six-year-old and a four-year-old.
They've been missing in rural Canada for four days.
And they had rescuers combing the woods looking for them.
And it is the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
that's the RCMP that she mentioned.
And it's, they had helicopters, everything.
But they could not start until they did a land acknowledgement.
That, these are not serious people.
I have literally never heard that since this is such, it's a performative theater.
It is performative theater.
You have time is critical.
two kids are missing families have their hearts broken and this stooge broad gets up there
oh we're gonna do what what what this doesn't even make any sense is it like she sounds she sounds
like a hostage video that's so that is i'm just shocked i i i don't know man that's can you imagine
if you're the family and you've got you know your kids are missing and you have the the the
police lady get up there and go
well we recognize that we are
on the land of the lily pucians
and um
you know
that's what that that's
that's crazy
it's
they didn't start up talking about the kids they started talking about that
I mean
again it's performative as all get out
it's so incredibly performative
I don't know
I don't know how long that lady's been on the forest or not
but good heavens
I just shocked me.
It shocked me.
I don't understand the land acknowledgments.
Nobody cares about land acknowledgement.
Everybody stole land from everybody.
And you didn't steal it.
It was conquered.
You went in and you either moved and acclimated or you got conquered.
People have been conquered all throughout history.
Whenever anybody talks about Mount Rushmore, well, guess what?
The Lakota took it from someone.
Who did you steal it from?
Lakota stole it.
They took them from Chibawa.
Where did they take it before that?
I mean, it's so stupid.
Just quit.
What did it?
What does any of that have to do with missing kids?
Sorry, we have to pay the indulgence of mentioning these people before we can start talking about the bigger story of literal missing children.
And you wonder why Canada is circling the crapper.
That's why.
Good heavens.
Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast.
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