The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Mic Check

Episode Date: June 27, 2024

Dana previews CNN’s debate stage including their ridiculous muted microphone policy. Meanwhile, Dana shares a story about her mom freaking out over social security.Please visit our great sponsors:ZeroDebtUSAhttps://zapmydebt.comZERO DEBT USA will find every solution possible to end your debt… permanently.  Talk to them FOR FREE today!Ammo Squaredhttps://ammosquared.comEnsure you are prepared for whatever comes your way with ammosquared.comBlack Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Byrnahttps://byrna.com/danaVisit today for 10% off and get the protection you need.  Goldcohttps://danalikesgold.comGet your free Gold Kit from GoldCo today.KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news.Lumenhttps://lumen.me/DANASHOWVisit lumen.me/danashow today for 15% off your purchase.  Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet free activation with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.The Wellness Companyhttps://twc.health/danaUse promo code DANA to save 15%.

Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Oh my gosh, this is a real actual headline. A Florida man was arrested after his 15-month-old daughter ate his freshly rolled joint, state deputies. Yeah. What in the world? This was in Benel, Florida.

His 15-month-old daughter, Florida man was arrested. it. She had to be hospitalized. She ate the, apparently she ate the whole thing. They said she was hospitalized. I don't know. What else was in that joint? I don't know. Yeah.

What did it? What on there? It could have been marijuana if she'd go to the hospital, I think. The man reported to police that his niece's child was visiting her father at his home and had to be taken to a local hospital. The house was in complete disarray. There was dog feces and urine all over the floor, garbage throughout, nails in the floor, air conditioning wouldn't work.

I say that's worse than the weed. Yeah. Well, I'm immediately like, screw the weed right now. There's no AC in this house. And it's Florida. And it's June. They said Spiegel Halter. That's his name.

Cody Spiegelhalter. He was at home. He had rolled a joint for himself, put it down, when you used a restroom. And that's when his 15-month-old daughter grabbed it and ate it. And then they said that there was, now here's why I think that there was mushrooms. And they said THC wax. I don't know what that does in plain view. Really? Yeah. So he had like shrooms in that in plain view. So maybe there's something, I don't know. But they, they, they, she was taken to the hospital. Then they sent her to a pediatric hospital for treatment. So to your point, Kane, there was something else in that. Something else was in that besides just, especially if they had all of these other things out on the table. So he was arrested for child neglect without great bodily harm. He's still in Flaker County Jail and $25,000 bond.

Wow. Wow. Wow, wow. Let's see here. This Florida man stole money from a 12-year-old who was selling snacks. What is up with people? So this is in Tampa. A Florida man robbed a 12-year-old Miami-Dade boy. He was trying to raise money through his snack selling business. WFLA reports. Noel Prince started the caveman snack shack a year ago to save money for his foot. ball and other stuff. And he said he wanted, he goes, I wanted to be independent on my own. And he goes, because one day I knew my mom wasn't going to be here.

He's 12 years old. He was going to a 7-11 where he sets up shop when 59-year-old Michael Hughes ran up and stole his bag, which contained $40. Police say Prince chased Hughes, who took the money out of the bag for tossing the bag and a rock at the 12-year-old. And Prince goes, I don't know. I think he just needed the money real bad, but that's not how you earn money. this kid is going to be a business owner.

He's a capitalist. He said he's still plans to run his business, but he's going to be more carefully. He goes, and put my money bag at the back from now on, and I'm not going to have money in the bag when we go out. So the other guy's facing charges of robbery and aggravated battery. You rob a 12-year-old. I deserve to have your A double snakes kicked.

Good heavens. This woman in Costa Rica, can you imagine, like, being on vacation, and you think you get what you think is like a Chachky and it actually has historical value and then you get in trouble for it. So this Tampa Mother, she was in Costa Rica and she, you know, got flagged by customs on her way home.

She had just gone into a souvenir store and she paid $40 for what she thought was just a piece of pretty pottery. And so she's going through customs. Kane's already getting uncomfortable. She's going through customs and they stop her. And they go, is this a pre-Columbian artifact? Like, first off, how do you know that? How do you look at a piece of powder?

Like, are you like a pre-Columbian art history? Like, you know. Yeah. And she said she was shocked, the woman, Christine Merrill. And she said, I paid for this in a souvenir store, $40. I don't understand. And they said she had to sign paperwork, pay a fine. and they said that

she had to give them restitution. She tried to call the U.S. Embassy, nothing like that. I mean, it was like a big ordeal, and she finally was able to get home, but now she, it sounds kind of like a racket, if I'm being honest. But they took her into custody for a period

because they told her that it was like a piece of like some kind of pre-Columbian artifact and they confiscated some stuff from her and she was just shocked. That is kind of unnerving because like you think that, like if it's a straw, market or something and you think like you're supporting local artisans like what you know now come on i agree

with annie oakley who said quote i would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies now i myself regularly concealed carry nine millimeter now that said not every woman is like me has had the hours of training that i've had or feels comfortable around firearms due to years of use or maybe they're by a gun-free zone i'd like to change that what i can while encouraging self-defense at the same time so this is where Berna comes in. It's kind of like a starter weapon. It's, they make a non-firearm firearm. I like the idea of incredible force sending chemical irritants towards a threat as an additional option for women. And the Berna SD model shoots chemical irritant projectiles, 68 caliber rounds that can deter threats in their tracks up to 50 feet away. I mean, it is hard. Easy target acquisition, zero recoil. Burna is legal in all 50 states. There's no background. checks, no permits required. It's shipped directly to your door. Gun free isn't applicable to Berna. It's great for wherever guns are banned. Visit burna.com slash Dana for 10% off. That's B-Y-R-N-A.com slash Dana. This debate tonight, obviously we're going to be watching and

we're going to have ways that you can participate, including the debate bingo. Everyone keeps asking if it's going to be a drinking game. I don't know why you guys have a death wish. Why do you guys have a death wish. Have you seen the people asking this, Kane? Yeah. I mean, there's entire thread discussions over it. And I'm just like, why are you people? I would like to be able to say hi tomorrow. So, you know, come on, you guys. Don't go out like that. Remember, it's a sweet meteor of death. So this, so that's, we're going to have the big debate tonight where I have some, I'm going to be on Fox tonight. I don't know what time. yet, but we'll have all of that. I'll be on Fox this evening, doing some of the pre-debate stuff.

And then, of course, obviously, we're going to have all the stuff tonight where we're going have our live thread. I was thinking about converting it to a live chat because Lorraine said that she'd host it. So that may happen. It may switch over. Surprise, Lorraine. But anyway, it's going to be a packed evening. It's going to be a late night. And so that's, you know, it's going to be good. The drugs that he's going to be on. We had a listener who said adrenaline. Can you just give somebody a shot of adrenaline? I've never seen that done except in Pulp Fiction.

Isn't that what they do when the people are having a heart attack or something? They just inject the heart with adrenaline really quick? Well, again, my knowledge of drugs extends to cops, pseudafed, and Pulp Fiction. So, yeah, so isn't that what he used when what's her face had her? Wasn't it adrenaline that they said? Okay, anyway, I don't mean to like, go on a like side trip here but he's I am so anxious to see what condition he's in and I know you are all as well but the debate it kicks off 9 p.m. Eastern 8 central and it's going to be 90 minutes

I want to show you can we get the the so they have you know no audience they're not they're going to make it to where they can't talk over each other I've got to show you this debate button or the what is it the mute it's a mute signal it's a mute indicator they don't get a mute for the on the mic, for their podium. They don't get that. But apparently, I don't know who controls it. If it's the debate host that control it, the moderators, I don't know. Sony, I need you to watch this because CNN is so proud that they discovered an on-off switch.

Guys, watch. If we go behind the podiums, you can see two green lights. When they're on, they signal to the candidate, his microphone is on. When the green lights are off, they signal to the candidate, his microphone is off. Now I want to give you a sense of what it will look like for viewers at home. if a candidate whose microphone is off interrupts a candidate whose microphone is on. So I'm standing at one podium

and I'll ask Phil to come in and take the other podium. And so let's say I'm answering a question. My light is green and I'm speaking. Phil's microphone is off and his green lights are not illuminated. He's going to interrupt me as I'm speaking and this is what it will sound like. My volume remains

constant while Phil's interruption can be difficult to understand. Phil's talking at a normal volume though. Let's try the opposite. My microphone is now on. There's microphone. is off. And he's going to interrupt me. My volume remains constant while Victor's interruption This is so dumb. Oh my gosh, you guys. This is so dumb. It's like Sesame Street. It is like Sesame Street. The green lights mean that the candidate's microphone is on. Oh, I don't have green lights. That must be my microphone is off. But why can you still hear me? Have they met Trump, too, by the way? Seriously, have you ever met him? I've known him for you.

years. And he used, like I said, he used to come, I've said this before, he would come on my radio program all the time back when he was building stuff. And when he did that, what is it, that bank that turned into a hotel in New York City? And known him for a while, known Roger Stone for forever. I've known all these people forever. Trump is not a quiet person. I don't think he knows how to whisper. And I don't think he cares to whisper. I just don't think he cares. He's a loud person. He just projects his voice. Do you honestly think? think that you're not going to be able to hear him. Seriously, the only person that you're not going to be able to hear if he's muted is Joe Biden. And how much do you want to bet that they

mess up the mute? And like, you know, Joe Biden's not muted, but Trump is. And then Joe can, you know, keep going. Yes. See, you think it's going to happen. That's a square on our bingo card. Yep. The mute, the mute, but I, I, I, I'm just going to call it right now. That's the first card. That's, or that's the first thing that gets covered on bingo. I'm, I swear to you, that is the absolute first thing that's going to get covered on bingo. I really kind of want to cover it now. But I got to live by my own rules. I can't post it.

I can't do that. You can't play until it's like the debate's actually happening. Oh my gosh, you guys, I can't even deal with this. This is so crazy. So the debate, it's just going to, this is just wild. You should put yourself on your mute button and Kane can scream at you. We see if we hear Kane and I'll tell you. Yeah, let's do it.

Let's do what CNN did. Yeah, that's a good idea. So I am currently talking on the microphone, and my mute button is not depressed. Kane, however, his mute button is depressed, and he is talking into his microphone, but the microphone is not carrying his voice. Now let's switch it. I'm going to mute my microphone, and Kane is going to depress. And now I'm going to talk, and then you can, you may or may not be able to hear Dana in the background as she's talking, trying to interrupt me. It's kind of rude when you think about it.

Just the interruption part of it. That's what Trump's going to do. He's going to yell. You know it. He's going to yell. What in the world? Oh my gosh. So yeah, it is on there.

So if you don't have the debate bingo. There's a threat. All you subscribers to substack have it. You also have the thread to mark. That's the link that you go to when the debate kicks off. But we've got it all up there. got not a joke. We got Trump brings up Hunter, overturned row. Job more than a paycheck. China. We got Make America Great again. CNN brings up J6. The quote, threat to democracy.

Scranton. Election was rigged. Mike Mute malfunction. I want to cover that immediately. Border invasion, the free space. Convicted felon. Tells Bo's story. Amtrak. Come on, man. Soul of this nation. Here's the deal. Ban assault weapons. Crooked Joe. talk class at Penn mega Republicans price of McDonald's and vaccine saved lives we're all going to die if this is a drinking game

you guys can't do this I'm looking out for your health so I'm just you know they're going to mess up the mute CNN is so excited didn't they do the hologram remember when they did the holograms that was weird

why did they get this technology at CNN and they're like we have no reason to use this let's use it at a debate like crazy stuff right we have no reason to use we're going to use it now but them talking about that reminding me of that scene from big

top peewee yeah pee we Herman movie when he went and he was trying to find his bicycle and he went to the alamo and Jan Hooks was there giving these Hispanic Americans a tour of the alamo clearly they could speak Spanish and she was like this woman's making an authentic Mexican tortilla

can y'all say tortilla and everyone just gumbles tortea I felt like that scene. I felt like CNN was Jan Hooks, and they're explaining to us completely obvious things. This right here is this stage. This is what the candidates are going to come on.

They're so excited. It's like a little kid showing you their new bedding. They're taking in. They got the new race car bed, and they got the new cars bedding. They're like, look at this. What's the a go, I got that. That's what they're doing right there.

They're so excited about it. So you know, because they're that excited, something's going to get screwed up on Trump's side. You know it. just saying just saying all right so the debate this evening now i think there may be a new nickname that makes a debut trump apparently teased a new nickname for biden he went on a rant saying that he quote can't hit a golf ball for 10 yards so the biden people came out with a trump lies list and the trump people came out with a biden lie list and making fun of his golf game and he called him a lying machine

Now, that's not a nickname, guys. Now, this is not Trump making up and saying this is a new nickname. This is the media who's like, wait a minute, that sounds like a nickname. That's not a nickname. That is not, Crooked Joe is a nickname. Lying machine is just an adjective. It's not a nickname. Why do they do this all the time?

It's not a nickname. But now they're like lying machine. I love this. Listen, Trump and avid golfer, who retreated to his Marlago club after skipping Biden's inauguration in 2020, also rolled out a new nickname for Biden, quote, lying machine. That comes after repeatedly calling him crooked. Like, whoo-hoo-hoo. Oh, my gosh.

Have they not learned by now that he actually puts the name of the person in the name, the nickname? Yeah, that's kind of how nicknames work. Right. It's not just like lying machine. It's, you know, crooked Hillary, crooked Joe. I just think crooked's funny. Sleepy Joe.

It's just funny. Like, who says crooked, right? It's funny. You know who says it? Old New Yorkers say it. C crooked. It's such a New York thing. Oh my gosh. Our partners that help bring you free radio, the folks over at KEL Tech, we've talked for months now about the sub 2K Gen 3, which they're still making and shipping. The Gen 3 light foldable and effective. The Gen 3 version comes with some new details. You don't have to detach your favorite optics anymore to fold it right in half. And it folds quickly and easily and just as quickly and easily deploys as well. There's also an upgraded action.

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It's time for Dana's Quick Five. This is a Law and Order story real quick coming out of New York. So there's a 58-year-old woman. This has happened yesterday, apparently. She was ambushed by a baseball bat wielding, several baseball bat-wielding attackers in broad daylight. And it was all caught on surveillance footage. They came up behind her. She looked like she was going to work.

She's looking at her phone. Always be aware. And they hit her in the back of the head. They come up behind her, punched her in the back of the head. Then began hitting her with a bat. They tried to steal her purse. She managed to fend them off, I think, only because it was, looks like her arm was in it. And they had her on the ground hitting her with the bat.

And at that point, you can't figure out how to do nothing. And they were, nobody's been arrested yet. They're still on the run. But that's absolutely terrifying. Also in New York, this criminal thug robs a 10-year-old boy as he's walking along on a Brooklyn sidewalk with his little sister in broad daylight. This took place Friday at 11 a.m. in Crown Heights. and he was walking with a seven-year-old sister.

This dude grabbed the boy's hand, robbed him of his pockets, and then left, took his money. That's horrible. What in the world, New York? Come on. Golly. One thing after another. Also, this Turkish illegal immigrant arrested after raping a 15-year-old girl in his car in his car, he forced her into his car, forced her into the back seat,

because he was threatening her to beat her to death with a metal pole. Secura Akon, 21, is accused of attacking her in the early hours. And this is coming from the New York Post. He apparently pulled up in his toy to Prius and told her to get in the car. He'd beat her to death. And then when he got her in the car, he raped her in the back seat. And he was arrested, slept with a first degree rape charge. And he's not a U.S. citizen.

And apparently he was already deported once. this is according to U.S. Border Patrol agents, and then he came in again in November of last year through San Diego. Notice how a lot of these perpetrators who came into the country illegally, they've all coming through California recently, right? Oh, wow. Trust in the media is eroding. Can it erode anymore? It's a new poll coming out from MSN. Can it really erode anymore? I don't think so. Yeah. The petro dollar, though. The dollar source to New High as the Fed diverges from major peers. But let's talk about the petro dollar, though. the effect that that's going to have now, that that's all, you know, now that every currency is up on the table. A new organ discovered in the human throat that lubricates an area behind the nose was accidentally found by researchers studying prostate cancer. They're studying prostate cancer and they found, I'm just saying,

they said it's a tuberial saliva gland. That's interesting. Stick with us. Nothing gets me angrier. I turn into my mother when I get mad about this. When you start talking me about taxes and money and big this and big that, I get rage-tastic. When you start talking about Social Security, veins in my mom's face pop out and she starts twitching. She turns into like a goblin. It's terrifying.

She's just real mad about that. Golly. And any time a politician's talking about Social Security, she cues in. Like, she's judging your soul. What's you going to say about it? She's very, she's a terrifying person. Put her in a front row of a debate. Jiminy Christmas.

I should tell you, a a story about the first time she met my husband. How terrifying this woman is. Let me tell you a story? You want to know this? Sidebar. Going on a little trip with me. First time my mother met my husband. My husband has very dry humor and most of the time you have no idea he's joking.

And it can be very uncomfortable sometimes. Correct, Kane? Yeah. I don't think once I've ever been uncomfortable. So my mom likes true crime stuff, right? I mean, she likes watching about how people kill people and then dispose of the bodies. I don't know. so bring him to meter and my mother is filing her nails my mother does not use what they call an

emery board she uses a prison shank all right it is a metal nail file it is terrifying and that's what she uses to file her nails and she's got these like Benjamin Franklin spectacles right and she looks like an eagle so she's sitting and we're watching this print we're making small talk and she's filing her nails, you know, and some kind of grisly murder mystery is playing. She's filing her nails with her prison shank. My husband's sitting on the sofa next to me. And I just made the remark.

I'm like, I can't imagine somebody would get, I just don't know how somebody gets so addicted to something that you, you know, you turn your back like on your loved ones like that. Are you endanger the lives of your loved ones or something? And Chris, just totally straight face, just as dead as could be. He's like, yeah. You know, addiction's no joke, Dana. You know, we've talked about it.

I've been cleaning sober. for six months now. And, you know, it's very, it's very difficult. It's very difficult to free yourself from that. And my mom stopped midfile. It's like a movie. And her glasses slid all the way down her face. And I'm watching this in slow motion like, oh my gosh, he's going to die. That was literally my thought. Because if anybody would have ever have stabbed anybody with a prison shank nail file over a comment about a true crime series, hands to sky. And I'm not exaggerating. It would have been her. And I look at him. I was like, oh my gosh, tell her you're joking. And he looks at me still just dead on. He's like, Dana, addiction's no joke. I'm like, oh my God, you deserve it now.

Oh my gosh, you deserve it. And she was still frozen like that looking right at him. And I looked at him. I go, I don't think you realize how close you are to having your major arteries severed by that prison shank she's using. And then they had like a stare off for a second. It was weird. And then he starts laughing. He goes, I'm just joking. Ha, ha, ha. And she waited a beat.

And then she started, because she laughs like Squidward. And then she started laughing. And then she liked him. And that was it. I was almost, I almost did not marry him because he almost killed himself. It's like suicide by cop. It was suicide by Nana. Why the hell did I tell that story, Kane?

Where did that come from? Oh, yeah. She got mad over the Social Security. You talked to her about Social Security. you got to get sharp objects away from her because she's like, the government stole our money and she says horrible things about Al Gore

and his promise of a lockbox and she gets super mad about it. She was so, I never asked her how she's, I don't know how she votes. I think she votes conservative. She used to not, but you don't ask her,

I remember one time in junior high, I asked her, it was for a class assignment and the teacher was asking people, you know, maybe ask your parents about how they voted, et cetera. And I asked my mom,

and she looked at me like I was, a red coat and I was getting ready to like storm her barn for a cannon and she got so mad at me and she was like people died to not tell that info I'm like I'm your child they just my history teacher asked I'm sorry gosh is it do I make more sense to you guys now does it make more sense I think so yeah so I'm and I think she's she's watched I asked her she was watching this debate I can't tell you what she said I will get fined dude we'll get fine and you know we're already like you know, in danger right now with the SORO stuff. So, you know, I'm in danger.

I'm not going to say what she said. Let's just say it with some pretty fancy words. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.