The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Moo Moo Moo

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Dem Rep. Emanuel Cleaver tries his best to throw an insult at Elon Musk and ends up sounding like a confused stuttering cow. Meanwhile, Dana explains how Trump uses his height to his advantage over Zelenskyy and Putin from an optics standpoint.Please visit our great sponsors:All Family Pharmacyhttps://AllFamilyPharmacy.com/DanaUse code Dana10 for 10% off your entire order. Byrnahttps://byrna.com/dana2025 is a great time to think about your self-defense options.  Visit Byrna.com/Dana to receive 10% off your purchase.  GoldcoGet your free Gold and Silver kit and see if your order qualifies for a 10% instant match in bonus silver.  Visit https://DanaLikesGold.com HumanNhttps://humann.comSupport your metabolism and healthy blood sugar levels with Superberine by HumanN.  Find it now at your local Sam’s Club next to SuperBeets Heart Chews.  KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comInnovation. Performance. Keltec. Learn more at KelTecWeapons.com today.Native Pathhttps://GetNativePath.com/DanaStock up on NativePath Collagen for up to 45% off, plus free shipping!Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/DanaMake the switch today and get a FREE MONTH of service with promo code Dana at PatriotMobile.com/Dana.ReadyWisehttps://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on your entire purchase.Relief Factorhttps://relieffactor.comTurn the clock back on pain with Relief Factor.  Get their 3 week quick start for only $19.95 today! Call 1-800-4-RELIEF or visit ReliefFactor.com  Tax Network USAhttps://TNUSA.com/DANADon’t let the IRS’s aggressive tactics control your life empower yourself with Tax Network USA’s support.  Call 1(800)958-1000 or visit TNUSA.com/DANA

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. So this is weird. So this was the Florida Sun Sentinel.

I didn't have this on my list, but Florida boaters are claiming wrongful arrest in jail time for boating DUI despite the fact that they were totally sober. Not totally tober, but totally sober. It was in August, so they've been fighting this this whole time. It was in Jupiter, Florida.

where a man took his wife, young kids and friends out on the river, and they ended up getting handcuffed. Their kids were crying. Florida Fish and Wildlife took him into custody. They said they were boating under the influence. Testing later found that he was totally sober. He didn't drink. He doesn't do drugs. In fact, he doesn't drink because he's like apparently devout Christian. And he owns a Christian private equity company and he's a church elder. And so he's a hardcore, he's a he's a teetotaler. He doesn't do anything. But they, they, they, they, the guy told him, quote, listen, brother, you're showing extreme signs of impairment. And the guy goes, because I'm nervous. I'm here with all my kids and you're like, you know, doing what you're doing. So the guy was just claiming that he was drunk, took him into custody.

And now he's trying to get the case expunged because prosecutors couldn't file charges because the guy was sober. He blew 0.00 on a breathalyzer, but they still held him to until 2.30 a.m. the next day. He tested negative for absolutely everything. And he's one of the multiple cases over the last few years involving these boaters who say that they were arrested because, you know, the guys are apparently a little aggressive and people get nervous and, you know, they ended up having to fight these cases. That's crazy. I think there needs to be a lawsuit filed for that. You're going to have to make a very expensive lesson out of somebody in order to stop that kind of stuff. That's what's going to have to happen, unfortunately.

this let's see this man telling you about them gators he survived a gator attack like a full-blown gator attack thanks to his neighbors Southwest Florida man this was in North Naples and he says he was because it took him five paragraphs to get into the story because the people here suck

Naples Daily News said the guy saw this alligator he wasn't really watching but it came from nowhere its mouth open, bit down on his right leg, wouldn't let go. It attacked him for several minutes. The neighbors saw they went out to fight off the gator and ended up saving

his life. And so he was thinking, you know, his neighbors. But you're going to be, if you're working around anybody in water in Florida, including a tiny little puddle, giant gator's going to fly out of that puddle. You just got a I don't like their mouths. Look at just, it's so weird. It's like pale chicken

inside there. It's just gross. Oh, I don't like them. A Florida being injured a great, an endangered great white heron at a state park. He harmed it. It was a Bill Bragg State Park in Key Biscayne, 34 year old Edgar Valenzuela. He wounded an endangered species because he was throwing rocks at it. So can I throw rocks at him? I would totally do that for free. Giant rocks. I just throw right at him. And he was fishing in the park. He got mad because the heron was trying to get at his bait. And so he threw rocks at the bird and really, heard it. I said they had to get

Ford of Fish and Wildlife involved. So I'm not reading this headline that you have at the bottom. I'm so glad that we're at the time. Are you sure, Kane? Why are you nervous now all of a sudden? Our partners that help bring you the program it's our friends over at

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because I want to send a message to somebody. Geez, why are you talking about Chris Walker? I'm just getting out of your. Elon, take your musty million. and musty moscow rights to the moon. Because if you don't, we're going to stand up, we're going to speak out, we're going to march, we're going to do anything we need to do

to make sure that the people of this country understand that the CFPB is for them. You get your musty hands off of our money or go to Moscow. You musty moon, moon. What is even that? That's Emmanuel Cleaver out of Kansas City. I've heard of, I like to pride myself on insults.

And yet I wouldn't be offended. I'd be like, I'm sorry, what a, wait, this is how it's described in my audio rundown. Quote, go to Moscow, you musty, moo, moo, moo, moo. Sums it up. that what is even that is there i'm afraid to google it cane third hour dana lash with you he's that he is a case study in progressive lunacy and so he's he's he's trying to get everybody mad at Elon what is the musty Moscow hands he just likes the alliteration or not so much the alliteration the consonants I I I I'm trying to, he just likes the consonants of it.

I'm trying to understand his point. He's not taking anybody's anything. He's saving them money, us money. I, oh, man, I didn't really want to talk about what I was telling you on break. You know what the Facebook stuff came? How can I do this delicately? Oh, it's taken everything I have. We got drama.

That's a good question. I mean, you're professional. Blood drama. You do professional lady radio. Yeah. It's professional lady radio. Let me just set it out. So everybody knows some people.

Some of you are related. Some of you are not. And they get on Facebook. And they feel like that's the place where they can just totally run their mouth about every conspiracy theory possible. So there was a person that is amongst my very loose association that I only saw because they had tagged a friend.

of mine in the rant where they were literally accusing. And actually they cited something that, not it was in a cleaver, it was Warren had said. And they were accusing Elon Musk of literally taking, and that, I just their phrase, literally taking my social security check. I felt like I was watching a South Park episode where Stan stands up and he's like, they took our jobs. And, you know, he's going, and Elon Musk literally took my social security check. I'm like literally took it like he physically with his hands in D.C. stole your check. Yeah, where did he put it? Who took it before he got there? Why don't you just have all your money and why is the government having it in the first place? They're talking to the crazies

because they want the crazies to help them convince the people in the middle that somehow someone's stealing. If the government doesn't get to steal it, then that means someone's stealing it and it's not them so it's theft. Does that make sense? Like Emilo Cleaver's out there going, and we're not stealing this, you musty, moo, moo, moo. What the hell? Is he drunk? You know what he wanted to say?

I got a theory. He wanted to see him, Jackson it. Ah! He wanted to see him. Can you, sorry, Juan, can you just play that, like, end of that again? If you look at it through the perspective of Emmanuel Cleaver, really wanted to go full Sam Jackson. You know what I mean? Say what again.

Then it makes sense. Watch. Elon, take your musty millions and musty Moscow rights to the moon. Because if you don't, we're going to stand up,

we're going to speak out, we're going to march, we're going to do anything we need to do to make sure that the people of this country understand that the CFPB is for them. You get your musty hands off of our money or go to Mouse Town. You muster, moon, moon.

I turned into the Monty Python meme. He wanted to say, you know it, Emmanuel Cleaver wanted to drop an MF. I'm Jackson. Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong. Does it make sense now? You know he is thinking about it.

he's thinking in his head oh but I'm standing in front of this lady pretending to be a priest oh maybe I shouldn't you man I thought from it I'm like I'm sorry what what are you going to say

disappointed he's like and then he realizes wait a minute I got to start the yelling is there really a Democrat speech if they're not yelling and trying to scare you right I mean you can't get out there and then he like looks around like he just

walked out of a boxing ring. You absolute clown. What a clown show. Look at all these fools up there with their stupid signs. If the government can't steal the money, then someone's stealing it. And if it's not us, then it's theft. I love the stay strong sign back there. Yeah, stay strong for what?

Protect that fraud. Yeah. We're for fraud. Go fraud. We're pro fraud. It's the pro-fraud party. I can't even talk. The pro-fraud party is what it is. But why did he just like out of nowhere starts yelling and flailing? You must, this is my favorite. Can we save this? Soundbite.

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role in shaping children's development, social interactions, and cognitive learning. Now, there's some issues with the company that does it. It's been getting super ridiculously woke, unfortunately. And that's incredibly sad because it is an amazing homeschool tool. It really is an amazing homeschool tool. And I also learned a lot about geology, I got to say. So I love it and hate it all at the same time, right? It's really, I don't know. Also, I got to get to this one immediately. Texas game wardens bust a dude

who used a porta potty that he converted into a deer blind. Wardens said he was charged and they removed the stand from the property. It's like a plastic portopati and the guy you like spray painted it

gray and black and green to hide it. And And it was, yeah, it was in Henderson County in East Texas. And they were investigating because apparently they couldn't find the guy for the, I'm going to break your phone. They couldn't find the guy. He converted this porta potty and I guess he moved it out, you know? So they set up a camera on the property line. And then first day to your season, he showed up and it showed him.

They, you know, got his stand in. And he admitted that he was hunting, I guess, without permission or whatever. So he was charged and removed the blind from the property. It's actually a brilliant idea. I got to say, I'm kind of sad. I've ever thought of it myself. A Sydney restaurant owner was told to censor her profanity-laced fortune cookies after a factory mix-up. The wrong restaurant got the rude ones.

So she was going to get regular ones. And but apparently this Vietnamese restaurant got ones that were really offensive. And customers were like opening the cookies and it was really, they were like really nasty stuff. So she was like, you know, she told the company it was their error. They got to make it right. They're fighting over it. For all the criticism that Trump gets for having an outsized personality or looking like a bully, that's the guy you want to sit down across, that you want sitting across from Putin.

The left mistakes Trump's perception of Putin, I think, because they think that Trump admires other strong dudes, and they view, by holding that belief, they view Putin as being a strong dude, whether they want to admit it or not. I don't think he's a strong dude. I'm explaining to you the leftist perception. They, by way of, and they've promoted this idea before that Trump somehow admires Putin, that's a presupposition based on the premise that strength admires strength, so Trump views Putin as a strong dude. I don't think that he does. Furthermore, I don't think that they demonstrate an understanding of Trump. Trump is not, he can recognize someone who is a strong personality, but he wants to be number

one, no matter, in anything, no matter where he is, and he's very, very competitive. Those types of personalities don't look at other similar personalities and find them favorable. He will compete with you, and he'll be, He'll bully you back. He'll like, you know, he'll go with you. I mean, you've seen that with some of the primary stuff. So this idea that he would be cowed by Putin is really stupid. And it demonstrates a complete lack of understanding as it relates to his character.

I think he kind of thinks he's astruch. Also, Putin's very short. How tall is he? Isn't he like, for a man? He's like short for a dude. Isn't he like my height? Hang on. Let's Google this.

Putin's height. I got to look at this up. Oh, he's 5.7. I was right. Dude, he's my height. I am as tall as he is. I'm 5.7. Okay, 5, 6 and 3 quarters, but whatever. I'm 5.7. He is my height.

You know, Kim Jong Un is 5'2. That's from the week. Kim Jong. But yeah, he is officially, Putin is officially, it's an article called Vladimir. Putin and the rise of the short kings. He is five foot seven inches. So that's a little bit diminutive for a dude, right? What's it like average? So he's not a tall guy. Trump is a ginormous. Trump is huge. He's like what, six four, six five. He is a, I don't think people appreciate how

tall he is. He's, he's very big boned. He's very tall. He's six three. Oh, he's tall isn't six three. I'm sorry. No way, dude. He's got to be taller. When I met him, I came up to his armpits. There's no way. I'm up to that dude's armpits. Like when he, because I've, he's like done like a side thing, a side hug at one event. When he shook my hand, my hand like disappeared into his hand. And I'm like, Jiminy Christmas. Like the first time I met him in person when I introduced him at CPAC, I was shocked at how tall he was. Don Jr. is kind of tall too, but I think that senior is actually taller. Barron wins that.

Oh, Barron's taller than all of them. Barron's like 8 foot 7. He's like huge. Anyway, my whole point in bringing that out is one of the things that Trump does, LBJ did. I'm not like casting LBJ in a positive light. Lindenberg Johnson, Lennon Baines Johnson, thinking of Lady Bird.

He was 6'4. So he was about as tall as Trump is. And one of the things that Lerbush, B.J would do when he was like trying to convince lawmakers to vote. I read this biography of him. It's, he was notorious. He was jackass. Absolute jackass. LB.J. was just rude. He was a bully, not a nice guy. Didn't like Kennedy. He was not a nice dude. I mean, there's a whole thing there. But one of the things that he did to other lawmakers is he would use his height as a weapon. So when he would talk to people, one of his biographers would note that he would step right up to them where his his toe would be touching their toes of their shoes and he would get right into their space and even you know

push his shoulders forward so he's like looming over them as a way to intimidate them he would do that to everybody when he would shake people's hands he would use even with women on like he would really try to like grip your hand you know there's there's that weird when you shake someone's hand for the first time and it's like a competition to see who has the strongest handshake and it's just douchy. He was like purposely mean, but he was notorious for that stuff. He would like march over if he was displeased with someone and he was going to confront him.

He would march right over to him and use his height and do all that. Trump is not as, he's not like a jack wagon like LBJ was in that sense, but he absolutely does use his height in those matters. there's one photo of him where he was meeting with Putin. I think this was, I think this was his first term. Like maybe like the end of his first year or in the second year. And it was a quick photo where they did like the customary greetings. Juan's showing you a picture of LBJ.

That's the stuff he did. That's literally the stuff he did. People would back away from him. And Trump was shaking Putin's hand and he was doing kind of the same thing, like looming over him. and really standing up straight, unnaturally so, and using his height to his advantage, because Putin's a short dude. There's a photo of Putin walking with Tony Blair,

and Tony Blair looks like three heads taller than Putin. And Russian media, they're very, very sensitive to this stuff. So they're always, whenever Russia controls it, they're always very, very careful, not to have anybody look taller or manlier than Putin. So that's a very, when they can't control it, it's a weird thing for them. So anyway, my whole point is that, He sidelines Zelensky, because I think Zelensky is deadweight with us.

He really is. They're not able to do anything. Zelensky's not a negotiator. I mean, this guy's just as much of a tyrant. He is. You can be like, well, he's less of a tyrant than whatever. He's still, they shut down churches, they shut down media. They go after people that criticize their government.

If you disagree with their whatever, it's just the same thing. It's the same, again, same term, different side. So this, I think it's, it probably gets wrapped up faster with. without him involved. But they've already been saying that they would be willing to do a land swap. So, I don't know. Well, it's all fascinating stuff. This idea of,

um, Larry, Vegas Larry says he's 5-7, so he can rule the world. There you go. 5-7's words at 5-7 Club. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already,

make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you your podcast.