The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: Pre-Debate Pharmacy Trip?

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

Dana reacts to the hilarious narrative that Biden will be on drugs during Thursday’s debate. Meanwhile, we reveal our Dana Show Debate bingo card!!Please visit our great sponsors:ZeroDebtUSAhttps://zapmydebt.comZERO DEBT USA will find every solution possible to end your debt… permanently.  Talk to them FOR FREE today!Ammo Squaredhttps://ammosquared.comEnsure you are prepared for whatever comes your way with ammosquared.comBlack Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Byrnahttps://byrna.com/danaVisit today for 10% off and get the protection you need.  Goldcohttps://danalikesgold.comGet your free Gold Kit from GoldCo today.KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news.Lumenhttps://lumen.me/DANASHOWVisit lumen.me/danashow today for 15% off your purchase.  Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet free activation with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.The Wellness Companyhttps://twc.health/danaUse promo code DANA to save 15%.

Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida, man. I just got to say something real quick about our bingo card. You can't call bingo now. You've got to wait. It all has to be within the confines of the debate. You can't go, I can't tell you how many people are saying this.

And I'm getting emails. They're like, but he just did all this. Like in the past couple of, I've called bingo. That's not how it works. It's got to have. happened in the debate. All right. So, first up, I don't even know where to start with all this. Okay, so the guy, remember the guy in Florida who his house got rammed by space trash, space junk? So he wants NASA to cover the damages. Ha ha ha ha. They should because, you know, they did it.

They said it was, I don't think, some, a one and a half pound chunk of a, some, some, I can't pronounce that, super alloy, that's all I know. And it crashed through his home in April. It re-entered the Earth's atmosphere. It didn't burn up like it was supposed to. So it landed in his house in Naples and it caused some damages. So they, uh, he's there, he's asking for NASA to repair his house. And I don't know like what, you know what? It would set a precedent. But is that common for just, you know, like space junk to fall in people's houses? I don't think so. So I don't think they need to worry so much about that. You know the man, fix his house, right? I mean, it, it, it, it, it, to happen through no fault of his own. Oh my gosh. This headline right here, January Christmas.

Florida man on a tricycle got into a fight with a man that had a machete. You don't bring a tricycle to a machete fight, all right? A Florida man was riding a tricycle and using a flashlight as his headlights when he was stopped and assaulted by a man wielding a machete, police said. Volusia County Sheriff's Office said the deputies were called around one in the morning to a beach in the area after the victim on the tricycle got into the altercation. according to WFTV, the unknown man who didn't like the victim's tricycle flashing shining on him, his flashlight shining on him, started the argument and then things escalated. The suspect was, he knocked the victim off of his tricycle and armed himself with a machete that a victim had in a,

oh, oh, so it was the victim's machete that he just, of course, normally carried in a little basket on the front of his tricycle, not even making this up. And then the suspect hit the victim in the thigh with the machete before they began to rest. with it. The victim took back the machete, but accidentally cut himself with it. It's probably why he's on a tricycle. The sheriff's office said the victim was able to get back on his tricycle, pedal away, and call 911. When first responders arrived, he was taken to a hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. So they're still apparently looking for the guy who attacked him. So I just, can I just say that I think I'm actually going to blame the victim for once? You're on a tricycle with a flashlight

tied to it and a machete and a basket in the front where E.T would go. Yeah. This is insane. Okay, and this is also the third shark attack story I have seen in Florida in the past week. A man was attacked by a monster shark in front of like his house, apparently. So Thaddeus Kubinsky, 69, was out for a swim in the shallow water of Florida's Boca Boca Chiga Bay. He decided to jump off the dock in the canal. Where the sharks are. Apparently, his plunge attracted a nine-foot-long bull shark that was feeding in the water. And, well, they're very aggressive. They live near high population shorelines, thus experts think that because of that, they're the most dangerous sharks in the world. And the 400-pound shark bit down at least twice on Kovinsky, and his wife had a watch. And the guy was, she wasn't a strong swimmer, so she couldn't help. And she can't fight a shark.

This is horrific. Be careful going in the shark's house, y'all. Our partners over at Keltech, Great Florida Company. and the story of Keltec, George Kellgren, coming to the United States from Sweden, this is back in like 1991, and basing the company in Florida, creating pistols, rifles, shotguns, accessories, all kinds of gear.

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they're objectively, I mean, I think it makes sense why. People are asking. asking, will he be on some sort of energy drinks or something? Okay. Look, his energy... Why does Mike Johnson, he's got this ability to look completely over it and also answer the question at the same time? Like, he is a breath away. And I know he would not do this because he's a religious man. But he's like a breath away from telling me to go do something and flattering to yourself. Like, I'm really, I'm over it. Just blank off. You know, look at every single time he gives an interview. He has that exact same expression, right?

He's like, I don't think anyone, Caitlin, thinks that he's going to be on, I don't think anyone expects that he's going to be on cocaine. I actually do. I think that there's not a drug enough that is, that a drug that's strong enough besides, I don't know, PCP, they're going to put him on some kind of hopper. I don't know what. I don't know. They never did determine of the White House, the White House cocaine they found.

They never did determine who actually owned it. It probably has. So welcome back, everyone. Dana Lash here with you. It's the top of the second hour. We've got the FCC's Brendan Carr. Going to be joining us. Ooh, I know.

I've got a lot to talk about. But the debate, they're going to have him on something. Look, I'm telling you, when I was at the State of the Union, and I went as a guest of my Congresswoman, when I was at the State of the Union, not last, but the year before that, I was sitting up in the chamber. So wherever you see the dais at, I was on. the left side of it. So if you're looking at the screen, I would be on the right side.

And I saw Biden walk in. He did not look like a guy who was healthy. He was like leaning on the podium for support. And I wasn't that far away so I could really see everything. When you see it, you know. I mean, the guy's not healthy. I will, I'll die on that hill. He's had strokes. He's had strokes. Strokes, plural. There's no way he just had one. this guy has had some serious issues and they aren't being transparent about it because they have to use him as a vessel for Obama's third term. It's kind of what it is. But they get him on something. It's not an energy drink and we all know it.

And it's not just a B shot. We know it. Okay. They're not doing that. Okay, this is me not knowing anything about drugs. First off, did I welcome everybody back to the second? I did. Make sure you watch us on Rumble and X and all that because I've sent up its up substack.

I just am so excited to talk about the same. topic because it's like I don't know any I don't know a lot about drugs except what I've learned on cops. Kane, what can they give him? Like what would realistically they give him? Not like you're an expert on dope, but you know. No, you're right. I'm not.

I mean, caffeine is clearly the go-to choice. Okay, caffeine is not going to do it. Come on. I get it. He's got to go for 90 minutes in this debate. But at the gas station, they sell these little white pills that are apparently concentrated caffeine. That's supposed to keep like truckers that have been driving.

for 20 hours. Sounds like they're giving him fin fin. Ginkgo Biloba. I don't know what they're going to give him. Like, what can they give him that is not going to kill him, but will keep him cognitive. Because you know he's got other medication that you can't have it contra or conflict with. Right. But what, they've got to put him on something.

I'm telling you that, book or sugar. every pharmaceutical comes with a couple few side effects. So whatever they're giving them may have a couple side effects, which then they'll have to give him more things for those side effects. This could get bad. Is it mean that if I were Mike Johnson sitting there, I would be like, yeah, well, what if he is, Caitlin? What if he is on cocaine?

Do you know for a fact that he's not? I mean, they did find that old baggie of booger sugar there in a cubby. It was in right down the hall by where he is. So what's up? that would have been my response just to do it. And wasn't there a second cocaine discovery? Can I just also add to how idiotic is it? They're like, I can't believe that you would dare suggest that Joe Biden would be on cocaine for the debate.

Wait, you mean you can't believe that the guy who has his actual crackhead son living in the White House, a guy who actually literally snorted blow off of Hooker's butts? You don't believe, and there's video of it because he is an oversharer. You honestly don't believe that there could be cocaine associated with that family. The guy who banged his sister-in-law, that guy. You know, Joe Biden, who, there's some questions as to when his relationship with Jill Stark and his relationship with his dead wife ended. I mean, you're shocked. Oh, my heavens, pass me the smelling salts.

We're bringing class up in the White House. Right? they act like I can't believe you suggested that. Your guy got your other guy that you lionized who's been raising money for Joe Biden got a hawkta in the Oval Office. Okay. Let's not. Are you all right over there, Kane? I'm okay.

It's like being on Thunder River at Six Flags in it. It kind of is. I always hated that ride. You know why? Not because it was like a ride that was scary or because, you know, I thought we were going to flip. It's because I was buckled in to a floating device. with a bunch of damn people I didn't know. Yeah, exactly.

Those people scared me more than the actual right itself. You know, you could have Godzilla waiting at the end with an open mouth and we had to get past it. That wouldn't scare me. Being trapped on a floating device with those people, that's where my fear of cruises came from, really. That's terrifying. But anyway, everybody knows he's going to be on something. I don't know. They're going to dope him up like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.

I bring love. And that's who you're going to see on stage at the debate. I was on Jesse Waters last night, and I was saying that, because they're not going to have an audience. So he can't stick London Roberts out there with Navy Jones, but he can't have her as part of his entourage because you know these dudes are going to be traveling with entourages. Well, in Joe Biden's case, it's going to be visiting angels. But they're going to be traveling with entourages. And Trump should have her as a part of his entourage. Now, I had said last night that I think Trump's biggest disadvantage is not having an audience.

because think about it. There are people that when they perform or when they speak, they feed off of the energy of the audience. And I'll tell you that if I tape stuff as opposed to doing it live, I don't know. It's weird. You just know the difference, right? If I'm speaking in front of groups and there's a smaller group as opposed to a big, giant group, you feel it.

You play off the energy of those people. And that's one of the things that Trump really does. And so I think the biggest disadvantage that he has is not having an audience there. to feed off that energy. That's, you know, to Biden's, that plays more into Biden's fear. But I don't really think the only reason he's not having an audience is so they can't see how bad off he is, which that's all you're going to hear about from Trump after this debate, by the way.

You know it. Somebody needs to sneak some like serapititious video of Biden like shuffling around. That needs to come out. That video needs to come out from this debate. You need to get in there in his green room, something. But that's, and I think Biden's going to try to push Trump's buttons. but he's going to have to be really doped up to be able to string together the thought process to do something like that. And it's really easy to push Joe Biden's buttons. Joe Biden, and I,

I remember before he was vice president, and even if you look at videos of him like in the 70s, he's always been a jack wagon. He always has been a jerk. He's always been, hasn't he, like an arrogant, but arrogant in a way that's offensive to people with merit. because he's he's he's he's like a dumber john carrie wow he he is think about it john carry he has a sugar mama he married money and that's why i say joe biden's a dumber john carrie because joe biden couldn't even do that so he's got that's why he's got all those mortgages on his house like 15 on one house i don't even know how that's possible how do you do that i don't know and kane worked in finance and we're both like, what? How do you...

That's just one house. One house. And he's got all this debt. So John Kerry, at least, married money. Joe Biden didn't. I agree with Annie Oakley, who said, quote, I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies. Now, I myself regularly concealed carry nine millimeter. Now that said, not every woman is like me has had the hours of training that I've had

or feels comfortable around firearms due to years of use or maybe they're by a gun free zone. I'd like to change that what I can while encouraging self-defense at the same time. So this is where Berna comes in. It's kind of like a starter weapon. It's, they make a non-firearm firearm firearm. I like the idea of incredible force sending chemical irritants towards a threat as an additional option for women. And the Berna SD model shoots chemical irritant projectiles, 68 caliber rounds that can deter threats in their tracks up to 50 feet away. I mean, it is hard. Easy. target acquisition zero recoil. Burna is legal in all 50 states. There's no background checks, no permits required. It's shipped directly to your door. Gun free isn't applicable to Burna.

It's great for wherever guns are banned. Visit burna.com slash Dana for 10% off. That's B-Y-R-N-A.com slash Dana. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. I was reading this story about how California apparently has the nastiest beaches. anywhere and now they're shutting a whole bunch of them down because sewage is spilling into the ocean. Now, they keep trying to blame Mexico for everything. But you know, some of this is also kind of like center state and up north, right? Up in the north part of the country.

So it's not all Mexico, you environmentalist hypocrites. They said that people in Ventura County, for example, they said that the water was just horrible. They said 7,600 gallons of raw sewage were released. and morrow bay Sunday. And there's just all of, I mean, it looks nasty. It's just nasty. The residents are complaining, you know. How crazy is it that the, it's like a beautiful state has just idyllic weather.

And the greenest policies. And it's the nastiest. Go figure, right? Go figure. Loneliness apparently can dramatically increase the risk of a stroke. Do you know what also can studies that? I'm just, I think that it's unhealthy to be lonely. I thought you were going to say the vaccine.

Yeah, clot shots do it too. The clot shot will also do it. They said scientists tracked about 12,000 people age 50 or over. People who had long-term feelings of loneliness, had a far higher risk of suffering from a stroke. I also feel like maybe those people are just stressed out. You know, maybe there's something to that. Everything's going to kill you. Just recognize that.

Everything will kill you. Please for the love. A planet killer asteroid. Yes, thank you so much. It is set to skim. Sadly, skim past Earth in days. It's a giant planet killer asteroid. The space rock, 2011 UL21, is the size of Mount Everest.

It's one of the biggest potentially hazardous asteroids to pass by our planet in 125 years pass by. Stop and visit. Please, come see us. I'm so not joking. Either when Jesus or a deadly asteroid or Jesus riding the asteroid, I'll take any combination of that. But they said it's scheduled to come within 4 million miles of Earth on tomorrow, the closest to approach. in 110 years. I'm going to say a little prayer that comes a little closer, you know, just saying. Pictures. Apparently, Fauci gets a huge perk, even though he's not at his 500,000 a year job, really,

anymore, his government job. He, uh, they're, he's being accused of trying to get sympathy with all the death threat claims. I didn't get sympathy when I had death threats. But they said that he still gets super swanky taxpayer provided security. And then I stick with us. We've got a lot more to come. All Trump has to do. If there's a way that he can artfully, Well, he just needs to mention Hunter outright. And if Joe brings up both, then Trump needs to go, now, now which story is this again? Trump needs to go, which story is this again that you're sharing here? That'll really push his buttons.

But then they're going to be mute in the mic, but you know he's still going to be able to hear him, right? Trump just has to push Biden's buttons, and that'll up in the whole apple cart for Democrats. All they have to do is make sure that Biden keeps breathing on stage, and that will be considered a moderately successful night for them. all they got to do. Make sure he doesn't fall. Make sure he doesn't duke's, deuce his pants. Make sure that, you know, he stays, you know, he's upright and that he's breathing. That's all they got to do. That's a tall order. It's a tall order, you know. But that's why he's going to have visiting angels out there helping him, right? They're going to actually plonk him right down on the stage right before the debate starts. It's true. True story. But I don't know.

I don't think I'm ever going to be watching a debate as closely as I'm going to be watching this one, except the one where it was. I did watch the Hillary Trump one. And she got mad because every where she was standing, he would walk over to her and it made her mad. Oh my gosh. It's going to be a smiling friends episode, isn't it? This whole debate. It's going to be like that, isn't it? Yeah, it is.

It's going to be like that. All right. And we're watching it. And we've got, Steve has completed the bingo card. Now, you're going to be able to play along, and I want you to share your progress. We're going to be doing this onto Facebooks. And I'm also going to have either, I'm trying to figure out, I got some debate covers with Fox pre-debate stuff.

So I'm trying to figure out if it's a chat or throughout how we're doing it. But Lorraine will be helping helm that. But we do have, it's the Dana Show debate bingo. Now, let's, you know, you got your bonus space in the middle. But let's look at this. My favorite, I don't know what my favorite one is yet. but I love because you know all of these are stuff that they've said over and over again Price of McDonald's

Talk class at Penn Wait we're gonna get into this hold on alright let's Okay yes Steve Alright now you can go Okay all right It is the Danish show debate bingo Featuring the Joe Biden free space There we go

Look at all of these options that you have Not a joke Amtrak Come on man border invasion. You got CNN brings up J6. You know that's going to happen. Trump brings up Hunter. Tells Bo's story. Cricket Joe.

How many times is he going to say Crooked Joe? I'm waiting. Now, is Crooked Joe on there more than... Yeah, Crooked Joe's on there twice. Is it? Did I have a typo? Top right corner right? That's all right. We'll fix it. Yeah, Crooked Joe's on twice. You can make one of them sleepy. Sleepy. I'll do that right now. He goes back and forth.

Sleepy Joe to Crooked Joe. That is true. Got it. Here's the deal. Convicted felon. You know that phrase is going to come up so many times. Biden, they're going to tell Biden to say that repeatedly to Trump to make him mad. Now, everybody's got a currency, right? I've said this a million times. Everybody has a currency. And there's Joe Biden's currency is legacy. He wants to be like the new Kennedys. And if you insult that and make him look like the trash that he is, he gets very upset by that. Trump's currency is public allulation. He loves the love of the public. And so I don't know how Democrats are going to deal with that.

This is going to be a tall order for them. They're all freaking out. You know this, right? They're shining up Gavin Newsom as we speak right now. They're shining him up. Kamala Harris is just sitting in a corner somewhere, just cackling. I don't think, can I be real? I don't think anybody's going to be as excited about this as she is because she wants to stay VP,

but I think she also hates him because she's a DEI hire. And I think she also hates him. We all know. Come on. I don't know, man. I am super. I'm excited about this one. I'm excited about this one.

Price of McDonald's, threat to democracy. Overturned Row. I will say there's one thing about maybe the injections. How would you put that on there? The vaccines. The vaccines. Yeah. In quotes.

Vaccines, please. I mean, were you actually given immunity about it? No, you weren't. Maybe something about that. Maybe we'll replace one of the Joe's with that. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.