The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: So Much Joy

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

Dana recaps Biden’s angry speech among other crazy speeches at  day 1 of the DNC. Meanwhile, Tim Walz tries to sell joy to your Thanksgiving dinner this year with your family even though he outlawed Thanksgiving in Minnesota in 2020 over COVID.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Byrnahttps://byrna.com/danaVisit today for 10% off and get the protection you need.  Hillsdalehttps://danaforhillsdale.comVisit DanaForHillsdale.com to pick your new favorite podcast today on the Hillsdale College Podcast Network.  KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comInnovation.Performance. Keltec. Learn more at KelTecWeapons.com today.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet a free month of service with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Well, I've heard a lot of things, but this is a new one for me. A Florida man was jailed for impersonating a Miami Springs pizzeria and delivering disgusting pies. Customer complaints convinced owner of Real Romans Pizzeria to call the cops. This 55-year-old Florida dude is facing a felony charge.

It was a bizarre impersonation scheme that left pizza customers getting a raw deal, said authorities. Police said that the guy ran an elaborate scheme to defraud tourists staying in the hotels of Miami Springs by pretending to be a well-known local pizza parlor. According to police, customers who thought that they were ordering pies from Roman's pizzeria were instead getting subparter. slices from Jose Marty Alvarez. Marty Alvarez was distributing fake pizza flyers to hotel rooms, advertising Roman pizzeria and misleading visitors. Now, Jesus Roman, who's the proprietor of the actual pizzeria, he's been doing this for 40 years.

He said that Marty Alvarez's pizzas were bad, uncooked, and sometimes they were sent in a box with a piece of raw dough. He said they just give them to him, and by the time that they realize that they've gone away. The fraud has been going on for several years. and it's caused significant hardship for the actual Real Roman's pizzeria, including complaints to the Better Business Bureau and negative reviews and upset customers. It was actually tanking their business.

And sometimes people would show up to the actual restaurant and demand their food. They said, where's our food? And they have to go, that's not us. That is literally not us. You've been defrauded. And so after the Real Roman went to the police, they finally arrested this Alvarez guy on. on a charge of organized scheme to defraud,

and they booked him into jail. And he's facing, also facing aggravated battery charge after he fled from hotel staff in his vehicle and hit a staff member. He is supposed to stay away from these hotels in the restaurant and all of that. And this is crazy. So they gave him $5,000 bond.

This is one of the craziest things I've ever heard. So he actually went through, like making pizzas. they just weren't good, sometimes undergoct. And... Nearly it's a moneymaker. This is a crazy. But this went on for years? How did it take that three years?

How did it take three years for them to catch this guy? This is, okay, well, you mark this as one of the craziest Florida Man stories. So when we do our year end, because this is nuts. I've never heard of a story like this in my whole life. Can you imagine? He's like making these pizzas. He's making them. somewhere, I guess, in his house? The article doesn't say. This is fascinating to me.

Oh, my gosh. Let's see here. Oh, what? Let's say a battery, a sibling fight, a ravioli attack. Oh, boy. Okay, so a 21-year-old Florida woman was mad that her sister would not share food that she brought home, got mad because the victim didn't share so the sister, attacked her. Police recalled, Nikia Davis was mad at her sister because the victim did not allow the defendant to have any of her ravioli. And the sister, say police,

retaliated by throwing a plate of ravioli at her sibling. And when police arrived at the Clearwater property, the victim still had sauce from the ravioli on her. And then, I cannot believe this is an actual story. And this chick is in the mugshot like, yeah, I did it. What? She just, so they

got her, they arrested her. She can't have contact with her sister. She's got a restraining order against her all this. This is so wild. Like that, I mean, okay. And then a guy got kicked out of a Florida strip club, and he does look like post-malone, kind of, and decided then to drive this said truck in front, like into the club. I'll save this one for you tomorrow. Caltech, the P-15, lightest, as thinnest, nine millimeter on the market, double-stack mag ships with two of them. You got a 15 round and a 12-round capacity. The 15 is, I mean, you're not losing any of that stopping power. You're not losing any capacity either. It has a minimal pinky extension on that. And then the 12 is, the 12 round is a flush fit,

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All-American Story. Innovation Performance, Keltec, learn more about the P-15 at keltecweapons.com. That's K-E-C-Weapons.com. Tell them, Dana sent you. It is decision over turning Roby Wade that you heard earlier tonight, The United States Supreme Court majority wrote the following. Quote, women are not without electrical, not allowed, not without electoral or political power.

They're cheering them. No kidding. Magi Republicans found out the power of women in 2022. Okay, I can't even deal with us, guys. I need to say prayer for myself, Lord God, please put a hand over my mouth because this is, I don't know how I'm going to do the show today. I'm praying.

I'm praying. I want to like that. That's what I want. That's what I want. Electrical power. So, explain something to me about women because they can't define them. We got electrical power, but he doesn't know if we got penises. I'm to understand.

Is that, is that my understanding, right? That's what we all get. We all get out of that? It's a fair assessment. Yeah, I feel like that's a fair assessment. I mean, it's what he said. Angry Biden. Welcome to the show, guys. Dana Lash with you, the top of this Tuesday, first hour, can listen all over. You can check out the simulcast, Channel 347. Rumbles where the discussion happens. We're also on X, too. So I'm going to be honest with you. I ended up going to bed before he was finished talking because, you know, girlfriend needed to get some Zs. All right. Like I had to go catch them. I was not going to. And they stuck this sundowner at the end of the night.

And the left was like, but Dana, he's the keynote. He's the key. No, you know what they did? Everyone ran long. Everyone ran long. And they stuck their sundowner at the very end of the night. It was 11 o'clock, y'all. It was 11 o'clock.

And I'm up like watching this, you know, because we have to discuss it today. I'm up watching this like, Godly, what on earth. And I feel like the speech that he gave was the speech that he would have given on Thursday, you know? Like that is the speech that he would have given on Thursday had he been the nominee, which he's not. And so he came out and he was mad and Jill seemed bitter. And it was weird. The whole thing was weird, right? came from what you saw. It was weird. Like they, he came out and, and I, it felt like every,

I was trying to figure out how the words to use. But it felt weird, right? He felt bitter. He seemed ticked. And then Ashley came out. Ashley was out before dad. But, I don't know, audio soundbite three. This was supposed to, well, actually, wait a minute. I don't even know what I want. I have so many, we have 11,000 audio sound bites for you today. And I, where do we want to, maybe let's do three? You wouldn't say, yeah, let's do three. Let's start with three. Let's look at some of the joy. I see, it's been the honor of my lifetime to serve as your president. I love the job, but I love my country more. I love my country more. Is that way you merged it out? And all this talk about how I'm angry, all those people said I should step down.

It's not true. He had to say that. He had to say that so they'll give him his insure. I don't know what kind of Franken juice they popped him up on when they stuffed him out there on that stage. First off, no one believes that at all whatsoever. That's number one. We don't believe. You're going to, the tell-alls that are going to come out later, you guys know it's going to be crazy.

So nobody believes that, number one. Number two, he's like, I love my country. I love my dad gay son. I love my country. I love it. No, you're, you loved merging off of your country to enriching your family, which is why the house, you know, I mean, God love them.

Most of the nation is not paying attention, but they're doing what they need to do. And they went through the, they went through the inquiry process. And, uh, it was, um, they went through the whole process and it, you know, they've, they've, They found out that yes, he absolutely did. He absolutely did. They were merging out the office. They were selling influence. And so they have evidence for impeachable offenses.

Whether or not they go through with that, I don't know. I think they should. I mean, it's goofy if they don't. I think they absolutely should. I think they have, I think they are, they should be required to at this point. But, you know, anyway, I just, the thing I, I cannot get over is. the idea that, and I'm looking at all these, I have a million sound bites for you. This is supposed to be the convention of joy. And I don't understand what the hell that means.

How many times have you heard them say that? Oh, we're bringing joy back. What the hell does that mean? How about lower prices back? How about you bring back lower prices? How about you bring back no inflation? How about you bring back jobs? How about you bring back border security? How about you bring back more, like greater stability worldwide? How about you bring back common sense economic policy? That was this joy. Like, what do you mean?

Are we talking about this? Audio sound like six. This kind of joy? Is this what we're talking about? Joy, joy, joy. More children in America are killed by a gunshot than any other cause in the United States. More died from a bullet than cancer, accidents, or anything else. In the United States of America, my God.

That's why I come and I are proud. We beat the NRA when we passed the first major bipartisan. Lorda Rai, lies. First off, that's not even true. And we've gone over the six ways to Sunday. I've published the receipts over at my substack for people who like to read things and know about things. generally before they discuss them. I posted all of this online.

And it's all driven by drug and gang violence. The CDC goes all the way up to the age of 19 to define children. And the predominant ages of driving the gang and the drug violence are 18 and 19 year olds. When you remove those, those

fatalities due to illegally possessed guns drop so dramatically that they fall into third, fourth place behind drug usage, drug overdose, etc, opioid epidemic, automobile deaths, drownings. Literally that. But they have to inflate those numbers. And then also, it doesn't take into account suicide either, which is a whole other concern. So this idea, you know, I just, I mean, he gets up there and he lies and he screams. Is that the

joy that we're talking about? I mean, they're seriously, he just like, he's, they screamed. They were so angry. I, what the hell in the world? I mean, they're so angry when they went out there. All of them. This is supposed to be the joy. What is joy? What is joy? And then audio sound by 35. AOC goes out.

And then she apparently has a new accent. This was weird. Watch this. And Chicago, we have to help her win. Because we know that Donald Trump would sell this country for a dollar if it meant lining his own pockets and greasing the palms of his Wall Street friends. for one about a hearing about how a two-bit union buster

thinks of himself as more of a patriot than the woman who fights every single day to lift working people out from under the boots of greed what do you mean the woman who fights every single day what is she talking about

what woman is out there fighting every single day what are you talking about what was she talking about what then the woman who's hiding every single day I just, I don't know what she's talking about. Are she talking about the bus that's out there? Like, hey, come on ladies.

You know, super hydronic, by the way. Come on and sit in the same chair that a bunch of other ladies stand and throw your feeties up in them stirrups. Let's go to abortion town. Gross. That's so nasty. Oh. I think dive bar bathrooms are probably cleaner. Do you know what I mean?

So bad. I have no idea what she's. That's so much joy. Didn't that sound joyful? Oh, got that joy, joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart? Where?

Sounded so joyful. I mean, just saying, I don't know. So they, I mean, we got a million sound bites from this. We're going to play them throughout the program. But safe to say that it wasn't a very joyful evening since joy was on the menu and we didn't get a lot of it. Biden was angry. I was looking at the transcript of his speech. He was very, very angry.

And then you had all the protests that were outside. So you had the common commies versus the establishment commies, which I am endlessly fascinated by. And I've talked about this a million times before. I actually wrote about this in my third book, Grace canceled about the common commies and the establishment. It was kind of, you know, it was in one of the chapters that I had about reconciliation, et cetera. But it was fascinating because they get out in their street. They go out in the streets. There's tons of video.

And I, you know, I was asking people, who y'all got? The common commies or the establishment commies. Because what gets me is that the common commies think that they're actually valued by the establishment elites inside. The establishment limousine commies, they think that they actually matter. The common commies think that they matter to the establishment in the inside. But they don't. The establishment commies don't give a rat's backside about the common commies, the proletariat.

They don't care about you, you plebs, they don't care. They only think that the common commies are useful as a get-out-the-vote mechanism. That's the only time that they find any kind of value or any sort of use for these people. They are a get-out-the-vote mechanism. And what really gets me is they act like they're such rebels. They are hard asses. They're out there in their black true religion jeans and their black, brand new converts that have super clear white souls

and their iPhones, the latest additions. They're out there with their brand new purchase picnic blankets that they wear over their faces as masks. They're out there with their kidded out black riot gear. And they think that they are actually, we're going to tell that establishment. They're not going to tell. They're not going to listen to you.

But they think they're not going to listen to you. matter. And yet, even after they're treated this way, as they were treated in 2016, they obediently show up and they lick the boot of the establishment every damn election. That's real beta energy. They act so tough in the streets. But they will obediently file out and they're going to queue up at their polling place. Gone at that moment will be the summer of their rage, all of their rioting in the streets, their protests, all their signage, and they will lick the boot and vote obediently. Because that's what serfs do.

That's the function that they play in the Democrat Party. They're just, they're not common commies, they're serfs. Hi, I'm Matthew, a theater major at Hillsdale College. Here's Hillsdale President, Dr. Larry Arne, with a Constitution Minute. The great Abraham Lincoln described the Constitution. as a picture or frame of silver, built a guard or protect an apple of gold. This apple of gold was the Declaration of Independence

and its principle of equal rights for all. This principle of equal rights, Lincoln said, clears the path for all, gives hope to all, and by consequence, enterprise and industry to all. There are many today who seek to limit or distort this great principle by employing a distorted definition of equality

and equality of condition or outcome regardless how people live their lives. This distortion, if generally accepted, will lead to an America less prosperous and less free. To learn more and get a free pocket constitution, visit constitutionminute.com. This Constitution Minute was furnished by Hillsdale College. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. A milk jug prank was mistaken for gunfire that led to the evacuation of Colorado Mills' Mall.

in Lakewood, Colorado. Their mall there was evacuated Saturday night because police said a prank involving milk jugs was mistaken for gunfire. It's about 5.40 p.m. No shots were fired. There's a group of juveniles, they said. There was no victims.

They're nothing. Boys wearing masks were standing up on chairs and slamming jugs of milk to the ground. And that's what people thought was the... Gunfire, apparently. I don't know. That's what they thought. So, mm-hmm.

Let's see here. The booze free of landscapes, sober. The younger generations have, they're not like, I don't know, they don't drink, they don't, which I'm not saying that's a bad thing. Sober curious, they said.

It's popular with younger generations. And they've noticed everything from wine to like craft beer to all that liquor. They've noticed that the upcoming, you know, like zoomers and baby millennials, particularly, they are the ones that are not big drinkers, particularly zoomers, they said. It's kind of interesting. So they're all kind of, they're all sort of feeling that. And Eric Adams has to apologize because he confused India with Pakistan during Indian independent

celebration in New York City. Yeah, big mix up there with him. It was at the parade in Queens where he mistakenly and repeatedly said Pakistani or Pakistan when it was Indian. Indian Independence Day. Okay. I mean, they literally have signed saying Indian community. How do you mess that up? I don't know because I'm not him. I don't know. This is the craziest.

I don't know. Italy has imposed beach rolls and selfie stoplights because tourism. So this is true. You're not allowed in certain places to take selfies. The selfie influencer thing is so crazy. They would actually like clog up roads because people would get out and they'd want to take pictures on the side of these tiny little roads and cars couldn't get around and everything.

So it was nuts. So they've made it to where in certain areas you can actually get cited and get in trouble for clogging up the traffic to do that. They said that Italians go on vacation the month of August. And so they said that 13 million Italians are traveling around. It's called Feragosto. It's an ancient holiday that Augustus implemented. And so they go around, they travel.

And so they have a night swimming ban in Sardinia. they also have trail closures, no selfies in a number of places. And it's not really them. It's just like everybody else. That's kind of a rule that goes all year round. But it's very interesting. Tim Wals was, again, trying to sell people on joy, guys, trying to sell them on joy. Very much wanted people that I guess they wanted them to think like they're the happy people.

He tweeted, quote, this is what he tweeted yesterday. Or no, two days ago. Remember the time when you could go to Thanksgiving with your relatives and not complain about politics the whole time? This election is a chance to bring up the joy. This is him. Listen. Some of us who have less hair and are old enough can remember when you could go to Thanksgiving, watch a Steelers game with your relatives and not complain about politics the whole time. Not be on each other's neck.

because you shared a commitment to democracy, a commitment to personal freedom, a commitment to public education, a commitment to infrastructure. We don't call each other names. We don't do it. And we don't use the leach fortunate amongst us as punchlines for our jokes because they're our neighbors.

You know what's so crazy about this? And I tweeted about this. He, Tim Walls, you know, the Minnesota dad, he's literally the guy, literally outlawed Thanksgiving. with your relatives. And he established a snitch line to tell on your neighbors if they got together with theirs. Yeah, quote, this was, there's numerous articles. This one was the local press there. Governor Tim Walls is confirmed a pause that will lead to the closure of dining service at

bars, restaurants, temporary shutdowns of gyms and fitness centers, weddings and private parties, postponement of organized sports. The measures announced Wednesday evening also involved prohibition of in-person gatherings with people outside of your household coming just a week before Thanksgiving. Huh. What? Here's more. Twin Cities Pioneer Press. His executive order on it banned any indoor gatherings that included people not of your immediate family who live there. Huh. I mean, the PDF is on this thing called the internet and people can go and read it. So what is he talking about. I mean, he's like, remember the time? No, a lot of people had that taken from that. I'm going to tell you what, this is what pisses me off. I was talking to a friend about this.

Let me tell you something. Why, we have an unprocessed rage from lockdown. We were never, we never got a debrief on this. This is the first election that we have had since our entire first presidential election we have had since our entire nation was locked down kids didn't go to school my my oldest son started his college life in a college that they had locked down and for a number of weeks and then after his roommate left for a number of weeks he was literally as so many other students his age were locked down in their rooms for weeks on end. Many of them just by themselves.

You had to go pick up your lunch and eat in your room. You couldn't eat in the cafeteria. And then if you were lucky enough to have a class that would actually hold it in person and it usually was like a lab or something, you had to sit so far apart. You couldn't talk to anyone. It was forced prison. I wouldn't even isolation.

Isolation kinder. It was forced prison. And our young adults spent months living, living like this. I had friends that had to watch their parents die alone behind glass because they couldn't be at their bedside. People lost their jobs. They lost their lives.

So don't sit here and give me this. Do you remember when you could shut the hell up? I am so tired of this. You communist rat bastards lock this nation down. You almost bankrupted us. You locked up our kids. You know what? You screwed up a good portion of our younger generation because you made them isolate for two years. You know how messed up it is to have little kids going to Zoom classes on their computer like a boardroom Zoom class?

This isn't an outpost on Mars. It's the United States of America. You know how messed up it is to tell people they've got to get an experimental shot if they want to be able to earn a check? or getting a cab or going to a restaurant, Mr. Oh, well, we don't need ID to vote. But you got to have an ID to go eat at a restaurant in a number of these Marxist blue states like his. Remember when you could sit around and talk with your family at Thanksgiving and not talk about politics?

How can you not talk about politics? You politics were what prevented them from gathering together in the first place. And you're trying to make this about joy? Sorry. We don't, not all of us, we don't have a lot of joy. We're going to bring joy back. How about you bring damn jobs back? Regular priced items that aren't subject to inflation.

That might be nice. My gosh, this election should be about the biggest damn reckoning since the revolution, and it's not. And my, I'm gutted over it. I'm actually appalled at many on my own side because you want to know who has the right to be out in the street raging. We do. For locking down our kids, we ought to be out in the streets with rage. For shutting down our businesses, we ought to be out in the streets with rage. All you Antifa Pansies can sit down on your not-existent flat asses.

We ought to be the ones out there in the streets. You don't even know what a revolution looks like until you tick off the people that don't want to be bothered. And then by God, Katie bar the door, you ain't ever coming back. This is what enrages me. I am gutted that we're talking about joy and all this other stupid petty nonsense. Our kids lost several years of their lives at the most formative ages possible. Do you know what it's like for a 19-year-old to be locked into a dorm room for weeks? Do you know what it's like for young adults?

One of my kids' friends was going to go into a veterinarian. Couldn't do any of her classes. couldn't do any of their classes. Ended up dropping out and didn't go and become a veterinarian. Another parent I know whose kid graduated with my oldest was going to go be a doctor. We need more of those, right? Lockdown happened. Couldn't keep up with the requirements for the coursework because it was so insane because

they couldn't even go to some of the classes that weren't even being held because they couldn't do things in person and everything. Couldn't do anything. So dropped out. Dropped out of school. I mean, that's what we are. That's the reality. And then we're just supposed to pick up and, okay, let's just go back to normal. No, there is no normal anymore. We have a communist who is running as a Democrat for the White House. That party, I don't know if you watched this last night. I mean, I got audio from Jasmine Crockett and all this other stuff to make fun of. I think it's, I think they kind of wanted to make it look like a freak show to mask the fact that they are straight up talking communism. Price controls? Really.

seizing patents, seizing your private property, you put in the time, you put in the effort, you put in the money to file, it's your IP, your blood, sweat, and tears, and they're going to just come and take it from you?

And she says she's got the political will to do so. They had the audacity to propose this after we already got a taste of what communism was here in the United States. That was locked down. that's exactly what Democrats are promising again, but they want to call it different policies now. That's exactly what they're promising you again, except this time you'll be locked down because you're going to be too damn broke to go anywhere.

You're going to have to spend your whole year salary to buy an EV. Oh, they're going to give you a few thousand dollars to subsidize it. They're going to lower the criteria for getting a home loan to buy a house. They're going to give you an extra $25,000. And then even though you wouldn't be able to afford the house in the first place, you're going to buy it because you think you're going to, you can. And then you're not going to, it's going to be. Frannie and Fannie and Freddie all over again.

This election ought to be, like I said, the greatest reckoning since the revolution. And that it isn't, I think, is a stunning epitaph of part of the American spirit. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.