The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: SSDEI

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

The Secret Service speaks out about the criticism that their agents were DEI hires. Meanwhile, Green Day changed the words in “American Idiot” on their tour to include the word “MAGA”.Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Byrnahttps://byrna.com/danaVisit today for 10% off and get the protection you need.  Cozy Earthhttps://cozyearth.com/danaUse code DANA to save up to 40% today at cozyearth.com/danaGoldcohttps://danalikesgold.comGet your free Gold Kit from GoldCo today.Hillsdalehttps://danaforhillsdale.comWatch a portrayal of Thomas Jefferson reflecting on the Declaration of Independence in one of his final letters and get your free commemorative copy of the Declaration of Independence today.KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news.Lumenhttps://lumen.me/DANASHOWVisit lumen.me/danashow today for 15% off your purchase.  Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet a free month of service with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by KELTEC. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida, man. Yeah, let's do it. All right, I got a few.

First, this guy's name is Gene Oliver. He's 33 years old, and he is, of course, from Florida. However, he is right now, or at least recently, in Manhattan, New York. He got up on the top of a high-rise. A high-rise he doesn't actually live in

with furniture, which is a question that I continue to ask. and started just throwing it off, the high rise that he was on top of. He has been charged with burglary, reckless endangerment, criminal mischief, criminal trespass. There's now audio that's gone viral of neighbors living in this high rise, watching this happen and being very confused as to why the landlord or someone isn't doing things quicker. I can't believe that there's not more bad words or any bad words in this audio. How can the building take this long?

I don't know. I'm on citizen right now. He's giving you the bird. I don't know why I found that funny, but on top of the throwing of the, you know, stuff off of the high rise, he also is just flipping people off

because it's not enough to be Florida man breaking into a high rise with a couch, climbing up and then chucking it off the top of said a building. You also got to make sure everybody knows how you feel about him. All right, that's one Florida man story. There are more.

And this actually includes a Florida woman. A man and a woman were accused of stealing an AC unit or several AC units from people's homes. They are William, who's 48 and Stormy, not Daniels, who is 43. Stormy Hernandez is her name. Their mugshots definitely make them look like grumpy people. But here's the problem with their plan. Their getaway vehicle was bicycles. So they had AC units that they were trying to hold. And if you've ever tried to hold a large item while riding a bicycle, you know this is challenging. Even if you can do the no hands move on the bike, which I can do,

you got to get up to speed first and you got to usually use the hands at some point. And air conditioners are not small appliances. So they had a failed plan to begin with. They wound up being caught. They'll be charged with grand theft and burglary as well. Next time, not that I'm trying to help people commit crimes better, but I would think that you at least bring maybe a wagon or something that you tie to the bicycle along with you so you can at least drag it.

Like a kid who runs away from home has a better plan sometimes with how to bring his stuff with him. than these two had when they were stealing these geniuses, when they were stealing the AC units. That is a Florida man and a Florida woman. I have more. A Florida man was arrested after hitting his roommate with a rock, shooting him in the nose with a pellet gun.

I'm not sure exactly what started the fight. 32-year-old Daniel Reese is the guy who got arrested earlier this week. The victim was 56 years old in his roommate. He arrived home, Reese did, intoxicated, and in a mood to argue, according to some of the things, said to the police. He then, as I said,

threw stuff, got a pellet gun out. At least it's not an actual gun that's going to do more harm and did what he did. You know, so this is, this is crazy.

This is insane. If I was the roommate, I would have had my real gun by my side. I would have been like, hey, man, don't take any steps closer to me. This ends badly for you.

But that is absolutely one more Florida man doing Florida man stuff. All right. Let's fire off one last one. This Florida guy was accused of running an illegal animal fighting ring, a cockfighting ring in his house. Investigators began calling nine, or excuse me, people began calling 911. And investigation started because the guy had 30 to 50 friends over, and then he had a bunch of chickens that were in his backyard.

And then sometimes neighbors would notice that some of these chickens would wind up outside and dead. And they were like, well, that's probably not normal. And the 50 guys coming over didn't always seem like they knew each other all that well. Detectives did not take long to investigate this case. They found at least 48 counts of animal cruelty, 74 counts of animal fighting and baiting. They set a bond at $2,500 each for 122 charges. This guy was put in jail in Orlando, Florida, and his bail amount is $305,000 because the amount of crazy things going on.

when you got 30 to 50 people over in any scenario, it usually doesn't end well for you. I actually very much remember in college living in Chicago in Wrigleyville near the Cubs. This was 20 years ago, not as dangerous as it is now. And my roommate loved to throw social media parties. Put them up on Facebook. See how many people show up. And sometimes it was horrible. Sometimes it was awful.

And any time you cram a large amount of people into a small space, you're getting the attention to the entire neighborhood. I don't know why anyone doesn't seem to know that. This guy didn't seem to think his plan would ever be blown up or hacked, but they were very easily caught in the horrible things they're doing. Nothing ever that crazy happened at the parties my roommate would throw in our house, by the way. The worst thing I ever remember is drunk people being asleep in my front yard

when I would get up for work the next day if I had to work on, say, a weekend or something. And that was really weird because you just kind of like kick people by the foot and be like, hey man, you probably shouldn't be here. You should probably be anywhere else. They're like, oh, dude, sorry. And then they go. There's no smooth way to wake up in someone else's front yard. I don't think I ever met a single dude who made that seem like he had made some good decisions the night before.

But then again, I guess I should self-reflect, we were the ones throwing the party that included these idiots. So maybe that's partly on us, although I was never the one putting it out on the social. social media for all the people to show up. And I imagine now that there'd be an even worse decision than it was back when Facebook was relatively new. Partners who up bring your free radio, the folks over at Keltec, the P15, if you don't have it, you should. Why don't you have it? I mean, asking ourselves that. Every time somebody talks about gun control, I kind of want to go out and get a new gun, and you can do the same thing. And if you don't have the P15, look, I just gave you justification. So you can be like, no, I need it because, you know, I'm fighting gun control. Caltech is a great

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Concealable, dependable firepower from Keltec. Learn more about the P-15 at Keltecweapons.com. That's K-E-L-TEC Weapons.com. Tell them, Danae sent you and check out the P-15 today. Secret Service, according to NBC, says it's appalled by the DEI rhetoric against female agents after the Trump rallies shooting. They're appalled. I'm appalled. No, you can't be appalled. They're appalled first. Too bad because I am I appalled her. I'm appalledest. I got aggravated because I had on Facebook somebody that I is on my personal page. Somebody was sharing the um well why doesn't anyone you know applaud this agent. Uh, because I'm not going to sit here back pat people who did their jobs, man or man or woman, but I am going to point out the chicks who didn't do their jobs or the dudes who

didn't do their jobs. And it just so happens that the people who didn't do their jobs in this particular or well was when they were hustling them into the car and it was these two two Paula Blarts to steal from Kane that were doing this. It was like watching Ghostbusters Part 2 or 3, like the chick, the chick ones, right? Jeez. Secret Service in a statement to NBC said that the criticism from pundits and influencers was basis and the agency stands by its commitment to diversity and recruiting as helping not hurting the effectiveness of its protective teams.

Oh my gosh, I almost just, I, oh gosh, I really want to. say something politically incorrect. I think they should get fatter chicks. Just get some big old heifers, right? Get some meaty heifers and send them out there, right? Why can't you get just giant guys that identify as chicks? Not what said, ma'am. It's Friday.

Have you gone on vacation? No, I think they should probably get, yeah, fatter chicks, Cain. Show that you are so, I don't believe that you're committed to diversity. Secret Service unless you get me a job of the hut type chick, right? I want like somebody who can't even go into Elaine Bryant because they can't walk through the front door. I want that. Somebody who you can't even put a holster on them because it would be like popping the casing

on a sausage. I want that. Like prove to me that you're that diverse by getting, get me a chunky hermaphrodite and like glue a holster to them. I got to be honest. I'm not agreeing with you. No, no, no. I want them to prove it.

I want them to prove it. I want somebody that has to be, I want, get me a chunk, get me some kind of chunky heifer that like job of the hut. That is to prove your commitment to like diversity and all this. And she has to have her own separate aid,

wheel her out, like on one of those flat bed things. Like they got at Lowe's when you go and you buy too much plants and soil. Get that. I want that. Get that out of. Prove your commitment. And who would need a holster?

You just put the gun right in a fold. Yeah, and then when she needs to fire, you just wheel her around the direction that she needs to shoot. Just do that. Show your, prove your commitment. I don't believe you until I see that. I want to see a whole bunch of new recruits on those little flatbed trolleys going out there. That's what I want. DEI.

Didn't earn it. Yeah. That's DEI. Die hard. DEI. Die hard. I mean, my gosh. But they're a man.

Anthony Google me Whatever the hell His last name is Yeah Said in a statement We stand united Against any attempt

To discredit our personnel And their invaluable Contributions To our mission And are appalled By the disparaging And disgusting comments Against any of our personnel

I bet he pee is sitting down You know he does Come on don't It's funny because it's true But hasn't he seen the videos No I probably hasn't No. He's probably too busy using government computers to watch porn.

I don't know. But isn't it fair that people would have that response? Totally fair to expect. It's unfair to expect accountability from government. Come on. I mean, you know, your tax dollars, I mean, what do our tax dollars get here? I want the best of the best. You know, I'm honestly a little disappointed that my Secret Service agents can't shoot lasers

out of their eyes for the amount of money that I pay in taxes. I'm ticked off. I'm his stuff, frankly, about this. I pay so much in tax. I want, if something happens, like, what should have happened on Saturday for the amount of money I pay in tax dollars and the amount of money you pay in tax dollars is you should have had somebody up there take off their sunglasses like that dude from X-Men and just laser the ever-loving hell out of that guy. Actually, what would have happened? They would have done that the moment he tried getting around the metal detector. Just and then put the sunglasses back on.

And there's no mess or cleanup because it just, you know, it just completely evaporates them. There's not even ash. It's just so finely done that it's just smoke. That's it. Right? That's what I expect for my tax dollars, right? What I expect for my tax dollars is some go-go gadget stuff, all right? Like I expect like Dame Transformers.

They all should have formed a Voltron on stage. We should be like the bad guys in Terminator. Yeah. I'm telling you, for the amount that we pay in tax dollars, it should have been like and I'll form the head and then they're with their feet and hands

and then they just and beat the hell out of all the threats that's what should have happened by God that's what we pay for our tax dollars that's what we should get as America I want a damn Voltron secret service agent These are not unrealistic expectations No they're not

They are not They are very realistic Ask Elon Musk This can be made true And instead you got the media what's on his VINMO? I looked at his Spotify list. Just look how far our media has fallen.

Like we, they used to go, like we had the penny presses, and they used to churn stuff out in the bowels of the, you know, of colonist basements going at the British. And the British would be like, you can't publish any more of this stuff. This is considered, and they'd crank it out even more. And now they're like, you're a VINMO list hurt my feelings. That's where they're at now. That's the evolution of the pre, the de-evolution of the press.

No, for real, I, for what we pay, I don't, I don't care if you're, oh, you're offended. Somebody died, you ass hat. You're offended. Oh, I'm appalled. Guess who else is appalled? The family who's burying their dad today, Anthony, googly, a googly, whatever your name is, you, guy who sits down to pee, who's the Secret Service's chief of communications. he's appalled. Hey, I wonder if the guy that they're putting six feet under today is appalled.

Oh, wait, he can't be because he's dead. Because a guy that you guys allowed through shot and killed him. Critically wounded two others. Almost killed the president of the United States. I'm appalled that people are appalled. I'm appalled that you're appalled that people are appalled. I am appalleder than you. He adds this.

He goes, it's an insult to the women of our agency to imply that they're on qualified based on, no, we're, we're assuming that they're unqualified based on the fact that they are visibly untrained fat asses. On video. This is not like, yeah, this is not something that happened in secret that you're hearing third party information about. It's something that happened like visibly on camera that we all see. So, and they weren't, and you already admitted there, all of them were secret service agents. We're specifically talking about the ones that were fumbling with stuff and didn't know where to go. I'm not going to sit here and pay. I'm not going to sit here and pay this indulgence of, oh, yes, the one agent that was on stage, yes, she did a great job,

before I can criticize anyone else. I shouldn't have to do that. That should smart people understand what I'm saying here. But of course, Anthony googly, googly sits down to pee, doesn't understand that because he's not one of the smart people. You got to be kidding me. I mean, this is, you know, criticism of the female agents had been different. No, I would be meaner probably. No, I probably wouldn't be. I'd be as mean if it were dudes. But we just see the women because they were the two chicks because they were right there in that footage that we were looking at. My only criticism of the people, and it wasn't just the woman, I think it was the other dude that was with her when they were on stage is that they weren't,

I just think, you know, if you're protecting, if your principal is like six, three, maybe be bigger than five, seven. I'm just saying, chick or dude. That's so mean. Yeah, it is. Because I'm more interested about protecting lives than rustling the jimmies of your feelings. That's why. get over yourself. These people that make an idol of their own feelings and put that as a greater importance, prioritize that over the protection that these people's positions are there to serve. Get real. Golly. I mean, this, it's perfectly completely reasonable. And this chick, she's unqualified. And it's evident by the way she's running this agency. These criticisms didn't just start Saturday. They predated that. In fact, Trump, there's a tweet that he's got

some years back where he was actually talking about that. He said, this chick needs to be replaced. This is not. I actually retweeted it. So this idea, this is, we're not going to allow this argument as a distraction from accountability because that's what they want to focus on. Oh, you're only criticizing them because they're women. No, we're criticizing them because they were incompetent. and we're saying that they're women because they were women. Don't get it confused. That is, that's mind rot. That is so dumb.

This isn't a mop Bailey. This is, it is what it is. These people were unqualified. These two people who were unqualified in the camera happen to be chicks. And I'll go on to say it. I don't think a woman should be taking a bullet for a man. I don't think a woman should be going out there providing executive protection for a dude who's like, you know, six, three and she's five, seven. this is basic

Leonidas versus Xerxes science and logic here is it about protection or is it about you because if it's about you then you're not in this for the right reasons get out so someone who can be in it for the right reasons can be in it

you sound like a bitch when you whine about how these people are being critical I'm not apologizing no you sound like that this is ridiculous you're talking about the protection of the united the president of the United States. And like I said, I don't previously, I don't care if it's a Democrat or Republican. For crying out loud, we are the leader of the free, this is the leader of the free world.

We are the most powerful nation on the planet. Should we not have security that represents this for our leader? Should we not? Because it's not just the leader of the United States. That leader is an avatar for something. That avatar is representative of the bloodless transition of power. That avatar is representative of millions upon millions of choices that have been given by voters through their authority through consent of their vote. That is what it is representative of. You're not protecting just a person. You are protecting the ideal of this republic manifest by this position. That is what that security protects. And I dare say that we deserve better than what we got on Saturday. Hey, dudes, listen up. I have a gift idea that could

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This is kind of wild. Divers found cases of 150-year-old sparkling wine in a shipwreck off the coast of Sweden, and it might still be drinkable. No one tell all these, like, the cat ladies out there that are, oh my gosh, everybody get offended. You know I'm joking. Come on. They, first off, like, what, can I just be real? Like, I see, because they took pictures of it, and it looks pretty grody. My first thought is, is that drinkable? That's not my first thought. I got to be honest with you. Not my first thought. And I don't know if it's like corked, then can't it still get like seawater in it? They're the cork, especially if it's been under there for 150 years, right? It's also waxed. Maybe not. I don't know. Like I've got some like questions about the bottling process here. I don't know.

California education official embezzled over $60 million. Hid the cash in a mini fridge. You know, 7.7 million of property. all kinds of stuff. This, oh my gosh, all high in tequila, a former public school district official, Jorge Contreras 53. You have worked in the Magnolia School District. It's a public district. He was sentenced to 70 months in federal prison, had to pay 16, over 16 million in restitution. He pled guilty to embezzlement and theft and intentional misapplication of funds and all of the stuff. they he spent it on a very lavish lifestyle oh man it's bad and i mean these people like he only purchased all this luxury stuff like tackiest taste ever just like why uh let's see this um oh no no no no

this uh selfie can we please stop this this is another selfie death a young couple expecting a baby were swept out to see and killed by a freak wave while taking a photo via the new york post oh my gosh this was they were on what the area called the death rocks in this part of California and the 30 and 33 year old new you know young parents they were in Santa Cruz there's a lot of currents they say it can change very quickly they were taking a they were taking a photo with the sea is their backdrop doing a selfie and they got a huge wave came in and they got swept out to see me there's like warning signs and everything that is so awful oh my gosh what a horrible horrible

story just people be careful I've seen people fall down like myself in public like trying to do selfies and they like something to happen so stop that who you can pick on his green day oh for sure now this is you can pick on these people all day long um i will say there's an exception i can't tell if uh what's his face i can't remember his name uh what is it the guy had the lead singer of green at bill joe armstrong i mean he could be a dude he complains more than a regular woman but he was on stage what is it awesome audio sound by 28 so lame this is so cringe oh go ahead do it. He's on stage. Okay, we get it. You don't like Republicans.

Are you ever going to stop, like, minstrating over it? We get it. I mean, every, he's like, look, I don't like Republicans. You say what everybody else in entertainment says. You all bitch and moan about the same thing. Oh, you're so edgy. Oh, my gosh. Is that why you, like, faked a British accent for your first album and in all your interviews? I'm just curious. What are you saying? What do you typing over there. Just say it. What are you doing? It's more punk to be Republican. It is. It literally is more punk

to be Republican right now. Yeah. It absolutely is. By the way, so real quick on this, he changed the lyrics to American Idiot to I'm not a part of a MAGA agenda. Okay, and I'm not a part of a fake punk agenda.

There you go. By the way, Lorraine noted that Ilona got attention because some people said she looked like a 1980s, Brooke Shield. And then Lorraine said the Tate wannabe dudes. I don't know why people like Andrew Taint. I don't know why that guy's a thing.

I mean, you're bald and you pimp out chicks. Like, what is your problem? His last name is Tate. I said that, Andrew Taint. What? What did you say? I said Andrew Taint. That's his name.

Isn't it? Mr. Mrs. Taint's son. Tate. What are you saying? I said Andrew Taint. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm hearing.

Hearing what? What do you think you're hearing? Because it's tape, and I think I'm hearing, and that's what you're saying. Sure. But it kind of is not. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, it's kind of hard to tell if that guy's a dude or not. But anyway, that makes, I don't know. I still don't know why people are. People need to leave that chick alone. I mean, again, if you're going to make fun of someone, make fun of Billy Joe Armstrong, because he still pretends that he's punk. He's trans,

punk. He's not even punk. Billy Joe Armstrong is trans punk. Green Day is trans punk, right? It's like a Frankenstein pop punk. It's so bad. It's so bad. I will fight you all day on the sill.

All day. But anyway, he held up a what was it like a fake severed head. He did a Kathy. What's her face? The chick who looks like hair top it is not. Yeah, Kathy Griffin. I almost said. I'm so

Who's the Kathy Lee lady? Oh my gosh, I didn't mean that. Not her because I like her. But I couldn't think of. Who is it? What's her name? Who are you talking about? The lady, the carrotop looking chick who held up this separate head.

Kathy Griffin. She looks like orange hair. Yes, Kathy Griffin. Griffin. I almost said Kathy Lee Griffin or something like that. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I mean, not for Griffin.

I don't care about her. But the other Kathy Lee who's on the board. She's fabulous. Okay. Yeah. I love her. She's like amazing. Not the one who looks like Ronald

hair top had like a baby not that one um anyway so he like pulls one of those and holds the severed head up and is like look how punk rock i am and every like meanwhile we're all rolling our eyes like you're so not punk rock they are as punk rock as like beber is sorry it's just not going to happen it's not going to happen thanks for tuning in to today's edition of dana lash's absurd truth podcast if you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on apple podcast spotify or wherever you get your podcast