The Dana Show with Dana Loesch - Absurd Truth: The Juice Is No Longer Loose

Episode Date: April 11, 2024

Dana looks back on Norm MacDonald’s constant jokes about OJ Simpson. Meanwhile, was Jeff Bezos’ fiancé's dress too scandalous for a White House State Dinner?Please visit our great sponsors:Black Rifle Coffeehttps://blackriflecoffee.com/danaUse code DANA to save 20% on your next order.  Goldcohttps://danalikesgold.comGet your free Gold Kit from GoldCo today.Hillsdale Collegehttps://danaforhillsdale.comVisit today to hear a Constitution Minute and sign up for Hillsdales FREE Imprimis publication.KelTechttps://KelTecWeapons.comSign up for the KelTec Insider and be the first to know the latest KelTec news.Patriot Mobilehttps://patriotmobile.com/danaGet free activation with code Dana.ReadyWise https://readywise.comUse promo code Dana20 to save 20% on any regularly priced item.Zbioticshttps://zbiotics.com/radioGet 15% off your first order when you use code RADIO at checkout.  

Dana Lashes Absurd Truth podcast, sponsored by Keltec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. Oh man. There's one story that I really would read to you,

but I can't. Actually, I'm going to. I'm going to do it. This is a bad one. Let me see. How do I... So everybody knows what that grinder is. app is, right? Cane tell people

real quick, what G-R-I-N-D-R, what that Grindr is. It's a dating app. For? For the gays. Typically, men. Dudes. So, some dudes in Miami

messaged another dude on the Grindr app, and they offered him money for a service. And things did not go as planned. I'm not sending Juan there. I'm not sending one in the story for them to put a smock shot. things didn't go as planned and the men wanted their money back and they used a toy gun to hold the dude up.

The reason apparently that it didn't work out as planned is because the victim had a dysfunction of some sort. And so the service could not be rendered. And then the toy gun was produced and then that's how it all happened. all for $80. It was a toy revolver. It's weird. I still have questions. Do you, though? It was a toy revolver, and it was put to the victim's head, and he was told, you're not going anywhere.

I want my money. And then when the victim goes, well, then shoot me. They were like, well, toy gun. So, they ended up being taken to jail and charges of false imprisonment with a deadly weapon and battery. So that was real, even though the gun wasn't. So, I mean, there's some advice here somewhere. Just, you know, I just put that out there. South Florida homeowner, you know, because it is Florida.

Barking Dogs alerted the South Florida homeowner to an 11-foot 480-pound gator in the backyard of his farm. Tim Nygin was able to capture footage of the 11-foot 480-pound reptile. They had to call a trapper along with Miami-Dade Police. to get him. And I love the guy, his name is Todd Hardwick of pesky critters. He says it's typical this time of year. This is what he goes. This is what he says. Oh, this is a little male

gator. He's over 11 feet and he got out of the canal last night. A little, a little gator. It's 11 feet. 480 pounds. What does he think a big one is? I'm just that's kind of terrifying. I'm got to be honest. They said that the metabolism increases and the warmer

weather, longer days of daylight, and he goes, and it's breeding season. He goes, so these male gators are out here looking for the female gaiters. So he's on, they don't have grinder, the app, you know, so. Well, that would be a dude gator for a dude gator, wouldn't it? So Tender is that, isn't Tinder the, for the straits, as it were, right? I don't know how this goes. I can't, I can't even talk about this story. I saw this last night, and I don't even want to look at it. I tweeted out the sheriff, though. A man was caught on camera violently stomping on his dog in Fort Myers. Lee County Sheriff Carmine Marseino said that they got a call from a good Samaritan. They were recording 20-year-old Beckham McLeod, B-E-C-H-A-M, McLeod, MCL-L-E-O-D as he stomped and kicked his nine-month-old pit bull.

That guy was taken into custody. The dog's in a rescue. I cannot tell you the horrors I've wished upon this dude. I tell you what, that guy's also never going to be able to own a dog again, said the sheriff. I mean, he was really abusing this dog on camera. So thank you, Sheriff, for stopping that and making sure that this guy's known. Hi, I'm Margaret, a rhetoric and media major at Hillsdale College. Here's Hillsdale President Dr. Larry Arne with a Constitution Minute. Many argue today that the Constitution is outdated because it addresses problems peculiar to the 18th century so long ago.

And some of it does read sort of quaintly. But consider the injunction against titles of nobility in Article 1, Section 9, for example. Is that so outdated? The purpose of that injunction is to prevent the government granting special privileges for partisan reasons. This strikes at the rule of law, the rule under which were all to be treated the same. The Coney capitalism so common today, where the government gives favors and tax dollars to some businesses and advantages over others, is exactly the kind of thing the Constitution was meant to prohibit. The Constitution is not outdated at all.

To learn more and get a free pocket constitution, visit Constitutionminit.com. Potential jurors for the O.J. Simpson case were asked to fill out a 75-page jury questionnaire this week. In the entire state of California, only one person got a perfect score. Chao Ming Wu, who after the trial, plans to attend Caltech. By the way, you can now purchase a bronze statue of the juice for only $3,395. And for an even five grand, you can buy one that Al Cowlings has kissed the ass of. O.J. Simpson's new fitness video was released this week, and hitting the shells next week, Simpson's newest video,

Dorf on stalking. A crowd is torn. According to retailers, the most popular Halloween mass this year is O.J. Simpson. And the most popular Halloween greeting is, I'll kill you and that guy who's bringing over your glasses or a treat. I can watch this. There's like a half hour of him doing this. As the late great Norm MacDonald,

who was a friend of mine. And he actually inspired my third book. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash here with you. He got fired. Norm MacDonald got fired because he wouldn't stop making fun of O.J. Simpson. He got fired from SNL. He did weekend update.

He is one of the most underappreciated comics of our time. He was so funny and so quick. It was hysterical. Like when he would, the last thing he messaged me about was about gold. Yes. I don't know why. Like he, it's what he did. Like he we would talk and we'd like message each other every now and then and we would just like talk about stuff and and then. And then every now and then he would like send something encouraging. You know like keep it up and you know all of this stuff. And it was just so weird. But when he would ask me a serious question, I literally never knew if he was like like pranking me or not. And it was, you know, it was a little terrified to answer him. I'm like, oh, gosh. But he like was legit. He was one of the nicest people ever. But he back when he was at an S&L and he did. And he just.

Weekend Update. He made so many jokes about O.J. Simpson that they told him, you've got to stop. You have to stop making jokes about O.J. Simpson. And this was like what? In 1998, he was hosted weekend update. And like some of the jokes, he said, like, for instance, he goes, in his book, OJ. Simpson says he would have taken a bullet or stood in front of a train for Nicole. Man, I'm going to tell you, that's some bad luck when the one guy who would have died for you kills you. You don't get worse luck than that. But apparently Don Olmeyer was the president of NBC's West Coast Division, and he was friends with O.J. Simpson. And Don O'Lmeyer also publicly supported O.J. Simpson during the trial. And so when Norm McDonald would not stop making fun of O.J. Simpson, it made Don

Olmeyer mad and they fired him from Weekend Update. And then they dismissed him for, like he got, they kicked him out of SNL altogether. And then when Norm McDonald came out with his film, his first post-S&L film, Dirty Work, Olmeyer banned NBC from airing any and all

trailers of Norm's, for Norm's movie, his upcoming movie. Yeah. Yeah. So, and he like knew this. He would go out. And I remember watching, I was in high school and I remember I was I in high school or first year of college.

I remember that, because this was even after the trial, so yeah, it was after high school, watching SNL to see if Norm MacDonald was going to make OJ jokes because it started getting reported in like variety and everywhere else that, oh my gosh, Norm McDonald's getting in trouble because he will not stop dunking on OJ Simpson. every, every, every weekend update he did. He had a dunk on OJ. Simpson. And didn't he do one whole weekend update where it was just nothing but dunks on OJ. Simpson? Because what we played was like a montage, but there's like 30 minutes of it.

But I think he actually did one whole weekend update where he just dunked on him. And after he was told to stop, apparently the jokes became more and more frequent. So he just did it more. He like was, he trolled Don Olmeyer. He trolled NBC's West. Coast Division. Like, come on, I dare you. It's hysterical. I mean, it was one of the funniest things, and he was so dry when he would deliver it. Oh, my gosh, it was so funny. I don't think OJ ever said anything about him, but I know that Norm did tweet OJ, and OJ did, he put up this video. It was June 14th,

2019 that he tweeted this. And on June 17th, Norm retweeted it and said, hey, OJ, it's Norm. Listen, be careful about the videos you put out there. I recognize the golf course behind your house and I know that exact street and could easily print your address. Of course I never would, but others would. Be careful, juice. Oh my gosh. I can't even deal with it. I can't deal with it. Oh, my word. So yeah, it was, that was something else. You cannot talk about O.J. Simpson kicking the bucket without talking about Norm McDonald. You cannot. It is impossible. Oh, my word. Yeah, I can't. That's the sad thing about today is that Norm McDonald is not here to deliver the eulogy for OJ Simpson. Can you imagine right now? Can you imagine? Oh my gosh.

I tell you. It was just one of the funniest things ever. Yeah, I remember watching that to see, is he going to do an OJ joke? Is he going to do? Of course he did. It's Norman McDonald. It's so funny. Sidebar, real quick, and we're going to move on to other stuff. One of the funniest things I've ever seen him do was when he was on with Conan O'Brien and Courtney Thorn Smith was on with him. Courtney Thorne Smith was getting, she had a movie with Caratop that was coming out. And if you wanted an example of how quick-witted Norm McDonald was, he was the king. And his comebacks were, I watched it when it was live. I mean, I've never laughed so hard of my life.

And this poor Courtney Thorne Smith, like she was on 90210 and she's got this movie, yes, Caratop's in it. And he was making fun of Caratop. Like Norm McDonald was the first guest. then they bring out Courtney Thorne Smith. And so she was sitting on the sofa and then Norm and then it was Andy Richter, right? And Norm would not shut up. He would not stop.

And Conan's asking her. He's like, okay, so tell me about your movie and what's the title. And Norm goes, I know the title. It's box office, boys. I mean, the way he just interjected. And then they tried to stump him and they couldn't stump him. He just was so witty and so hysterical. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Oh, my gosh. It was so good. We have it. I don't know if you were. Well, I think we might get dinged. if we play it. You think? Yeah, we'll totally get dinged.

Juan, will we get dinged? Yeah, we'll totally get dinged. Yeah, we can't. So they're really, even if it's fair use on YouTube, they get different. We just play the Saturday Night Live stuff. Why don't have we played this? I don't know. I mean, we can if you want to.

I'm just saying, but what they'll do is they try to demonetize or unlist your video because they claim that you're doing a copyright. Even if you, even if you're just talking, it's so stupid. It's so stupid. I do remember something like the chairman of the board or something was the name of the movie and he's like, oh yeah, B-O-R-E-D. Oh, my gosh. It was so great.

It was so great. I mean, all I want to do today is read all the jokes that he ever wrote about OJ. That's all I want to do. Anyway, it's because it's just so funny, so funny. So, yeah, you had to mention that. We had to start that out. Keltek, they've, it's a family-owned company. They're based in Florida.

They make some awesome stuff, including the newest that they have. We've been talking about it for some time now. And it's shipping now. but it's the gen 3 version of the sub 2K. So what makes it different from the previous stuff is that previously, because you can still fold the thing in half, but you would have to take your optics off and you don't have to take your optics off anymore with the gen 3 version. In fact, it's just that patent pending rotating 4. It's just a simple, you just twist it either direction and you fold it all in half. That's optics and everything, which is nice.

And it just as quickly and easily deploys it as well. And you also have an upgraded aluminum trigger, redesign mechanics, light and five-pound pull, upgraded action. You have lightened actions, so far easier racking. A new chamber indicator, all kinds of good stuff. It's from Keltec, family-owned, made in America, and incredibly innovative products. To learn more about the sub-2K-G-3, visit KeltecWeapons.com. That's K-E-C-Weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you.

And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. I'm not talking about O.J. Simpson dying again. He's dead. Move on. California isn't, it's true. It's up here. I put it in here. And I don't know why I did that. California isn't tracking homelessness spending or whether it's working because that's, you know, that's government. So what, in California, what they're doing is they're basically spending money on, just handing money out to homeless people. And they said that they forgot, they basically forgot to keep tabs on it. They forgot to even check with the agency in charge to see. whether or not they established a process or keeping tabs on it, according to the free beacon. Who do they think they are? The Pentagon? Yeah, who do you guys think you are? Pentagon, Department of Defense. Come on.

They, oh my gosh, over the past five years, $24 billion. And they have no idea for how much money they've really actually spent on it and where it's gone to. So, there you go for taxes. Add that to their $75 billion deficit. $73 billion, a budget deficit.

So they, yeah, So they had a ballot initiative last month where they had to vote on like $6.5 billion to borrow for their bankrupt because it broke. But yeah, they have the intra-agency council on homelessness. That's it. We're going to come back to this because I'm fascinated. I can't. They have no, they didn't track anything. They have no idea.

Monopoly movie. Oh, they're going to ruin this. Monopoly has added Barbie producer. They're going to make a monopoly movie. How much you want to bet they're going to be hating on capitalism? How much do you want to bet? How much do you want to bet that it's going to be a movie railing against capitalism? You know it is.

You mean like in an irony way? No, like in a stupid way because irony requires wit and intelligence, which these people don't have. Some people thought that's how the Barbie movie came off. No, I thought the Barbie movie was so contrived and I thought that they were trying to be clever with it. But it was so dumb. It actually didn't. It was supposed to be a critique on the patriarchy and what they think is, you know, you know, the systemic manification of America.

And it wasn't. It ended up blown up in their faces. And that's just because it was horribly edited. Let's see. A $1,400 SUV payment. $1,600 truck payment sounds absurd, but it's becoming more and more common. What?

Is it plated in gold? Are you kidding me? All right. Costco is selling $200 million in gold bars every month, say estimates, or you could just go to Goldcoe where you could get a bonus $10,000 in silver. Potential $10,000 in bonus.

silver. I like bonus silver. Who doesn't? Yeah. California is poised for a major earthquake this year. It says a worrying new study tracking the St. Andreas fault activity. Unfortunately, they're broke. The homeless is running the state. Needles and feces are everywhere. So will they really notice? Is it going to be any different from the hellscape in which California exists now? That's the bigger question. So coming up, Joe Biden lies to you about gun law. New Yorkers are told to stay away from wildlife because they're trying to make bird flu a thing. And OJ. Simpson's still dead. Stay with us. The state dinner, I've never been to a state dinner. I don't know that I never want to go to one because making small talk is my nightmare. And you have to do a lot of it at these events, right? It's one thing if you're talking to

like a bunch of people all at once. But if you're at like a fancy state dinner, I'm just awkward with some of the stuff. Because I'm literally exactly what you see and how you hear me is exactly how I am in real life. And at some of these, I've only been to, I think, two kind of fancy functions in D.C. ever. And I don't like going to them because they're weird. Because you get all, you get dressed up and you go to these events and everyone is like a stuffed shirt. And I'm a very assertive person.

And it's, I don't know. I don't know if I make people feel uncomfortable or what. I just find the whole thing amusing. And it's just, I can't stand it. It's just bores me to tears. I can't stand it. So the state dinner, they have this big state dinner. I say this because maybe that's, I have a little bit of a different perspective of this

than a lot of the people that I see writing about it. So they had the state dinner. And for the state dinner, they bring everybody in. They try, it's almost like they format it after what the royal people do over in Europe. Like they enter, this is the Duke and Duchess of Fart Knocker, you know, blah, blah, blah. And they come in and they sit down. And they introduce everybody as they come in. And so they, as they walk in, you.

there's like this this photo op like you you have what do they call this came the photo wall in the background and it's the state dinner apartment and they come in and they take pictures so you had bill and hill come in i don't know what she was wearing Hillary Clinton it looked like a sofa slip cover made by Kath Kitson it's a British textiles designer it was weird I don't know and then they you know they got you know all these people they get all these people that you know, lawmakers, and then if it's a state, when it's a state dinner for whatever country that it's usually a state dinner of, they have, you know, I guess people that are adjacent to that or involved with that country or something like that. Well, they had Jeff Bezos and Lauren

Sanchez, his fiance come in. Jeff Bezos, you know, owns Amazon. And he used to be a dork. I don't know if you've seen earlier pictures of Jeff Bezos. He's a bejillionaire now, so he can do whatever he wants. He's got Blanky money, right? He didn't care. so he's like probably doing like the hormone therapy and he's doing his weights and he's all jacked up and he's got a shiny head and he comes out because not you know bald does not is not necessarily a bad thing i mean everybody's seen billy zane and so he comes out and he's you know and he's got lauren sancho's with him and she's her dress is a nice dress the question is whether or not it was appropriate to wear to the state dinner and everybody has been railing on this lady saying

that she looked like, you know, like a skank. And it was like a, it's like a corset dress. And it has like a slight fish tail at the bottom. It's very fitted. It's an off the shoulder dress. It is very low cut. It is low cut. And she is very well endowed. And so she's in this corset dress and she wears it to the state dinner. And people are saying that it wasn't appropriate. Now my first response is Well, it's a dinner full of a bunch of horrors anyway. So why are people getting all upset about it? That was my, I mean, you come in after Bill Clinton for crying out loud.

Or actually, I don't know what the order was, but you're at an event with Bill Clinton, okay? You're at an event hosted by the president who was literally accused several times in his daughter's diary of showering with her as a teenager. and she said she was so uncomfortable with it, she would wait until late at night to take her showers. Now, Kane, you thought that Lauren Sanchez's dress was maybe not. I said that the top looked a little lingerie. Yeah. Like, that's all I said.

Yeah. Not that I didn't like it or anything. But the state dinner, look, if you're trying to act like this was like the moral decay of the state dinner. Right. Let's be real about it. Exactly. Let's be real. about actually I changed my mind.

Hillary Clinton didn't look like she was in a sofa slip cover. She looked like she's wearing a Natory caftan that's like 10 sizes too big for her. If I'm being honest. Actually, I don't think Natory would make that hideous print. I just insulted Natuary. Their body doubles look pretty good.

Yeah, the body doubles are really, they're really pulling their own right now, aren't they? I'm telling you. Yeah. You know, I'm sure Bill Clinton made a B-line for Lauren Sanchez. You know he did. You know Joe Biden. They probably He was sneaking side-eye views and stuff. He was doing that.

He probably wouldn't even side-eyed. And you know they kept Biden away. Because if Biden looked at her, then the only thing he would say after his boobs, he wouldn't say anything else because his brain works that way. I just don't know because I've seen a lot of people complain about it. And like you said, if all the moral rot that's at the state dinner, that's what people are getting upset about for real, I don't know. I mean, it's, I don't have a high opinion of people in D.C. anyway.

I'm just like the only difference between people in D.C. and actual prostitutes are prostitutes are honest about being prostitutes. You know what I mean? Whereas in D.C. they act like it's like virtuous because, well, we're in government. Who do? Good job for you. I mean, it's kind of a jaded view, but doesn't make it any less correct. Right? Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth. podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,

or wherever you get your podcast.